No negotiating with terroristsListen, Denver 9 News reporter Kyle Clark, Rep. Mike Coffman stands by his statement that he misspoke and he apologizes. What about that statement do you not get? That he misspoke? Or that he apologizes? Let him clear it up for you. He stands by his statement that he misspoke and he apologizes. Want him to turn it up? HE STANDS BY HIS STATEMENT THAT HE MISSPOKE. AND HE APOLOGIZES. Watch Rep. Mike Coffman shit himself on camera in this tragic hostage video, after the jump!

“I don’t know whether Barack Obama was born in the United States of America. I don’t know that,” Coffman told donors. “But I do know this, that in his heart, he’s not an American. He’s just not an American.”

Informed that the comments were recorded, the Coffman campaign issued a written statement.

“I misspoke and I apologize. I have confidence in President Obama’s citizenship and legitimacy as President of the United States,” the statement read. “I don’t believe the President shares my belief in American Exceptionalism. His policies reflect a philosophy that America is but one nation among many equals,” the statement read. “As a Marine, I believe America is unique and based on a core set of principles that make it superior to other nations.”

Got it, so Barack Obama is totally American except in his heart. Good misspokenness. Good apology! Rep. Mike Coffman is going places, like maybe back to the factory for a reset.


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  • In fairness, his heart was obtained in the Wayback machine from the Saracens in Jersualem during the Crusades.

    • sewollef

      I think his heart was probably bought at WalMart…. in the bargain bins.

      Which means he's a living, breathing, full-on Maoist with a fake copy of a real person's heart.

      I buy a ten-pack for $20 on Canal Street and sell them on eBays. Make a huge profit from those douchebags downtown.

  • Barb

    The Secretary of State for Arizona got his answer from Hawaii for his request for an official birth certificate. I can't wait to hear if he uses the same "I misspoke and I apologize" answer in his announcement today or if he will give a full throated endorsement of Obama's American citizenship.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      I'd rather my son feel America is just one nation among equals than be a sociopath.

      • "choked many of the boys until they passed out as a game."


        • doloras

          David Carradine and Michael Hutchence, you are avenged.

      • ChapterUndVerse

        Someone needs a spanking and a lecture on how the expression "broomstick up your ass" is a metaphor, not an actual way to create more Republicanz.

    • Terry

      I wonder when the AZ Sec of State will issue his statement as to whether Romney is, in fact, a unicorn.

      • Oh, man, that is such unicorn libel!!!!

        • Terry

        • Mahousu

          Unicorns are people too, my friend … Nope.
          I enjoy firing unicorns … Nope.
          I should tell my story, I'm also an unemployed unicorn … Nope.

          Jeez, Romney memes are so lame, they even make unicorns look bad.

        • Unicorns are MUCH hornier than Romney!

      • Tundra Grifter

        Dick Cheney has made unicorns an endangered species.

  • Schmannnity

    Everyone who does not agree with me is not a true American.

    • Terry

      That's the gist of the GOP mindset in a single sentence.

    • sewollef

      "Uh oh, I'm in the shitter now…", Newt.

  • This is obviously all Barry's fault. If hadn't gone around the globe apologizing for America's shortcomings, Mike Coffman would've never been forced to say this.

    • Clearly, Obama should resign in disgrace.

      • chicken_thief

        Why haven't they started the impeachment proceedings?!!!

        • Boojum

          Because they are afraid of Hillary. She killed Vince Foster, you know.

  • LetUsBray

    Venn Mike Coffman says, Vee is der Master Race…

    • swordfis

      Ve'll – "Heil!" [Bronx cheer] – –"Heil!" [Bronx cheer]— right in der Fuehrer's face

  • If Mike Coffman were a rock album, he would be called Smell the Derp.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Or the White Album.

    • He'd be a Nickelback album of Kings of Leon covers.

      • As interpreted by Creed.

        • And produced by Bob Rock.

          • Liner notes by Hootie and the Blowfish

          • Cover art by Ed Hardy.

          • chicken_thief

            Or Jon McNaughton.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Mike Huckabee on bass, Joe Barton on Drums.

          • sewollef

            Michele Bachmann-Turner on vocals.

      • Nickleback is teh fucking worst. When I went on Facebook and saw that my annoying sister in law likes them, I laughed for like half an hour.

    • UW8316154

      "Sniff The Glove" seems more fitting, doesn't it?

      • Boojum

        Sniff The Butt.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Jesus loves the little children, all the little children of the world, but MOST especially the White American ones, because they are the best, Semper Fi.

    Cognitive motherfucking dissonance.


    (except Fridays, Saturdays and any weekday after 5)

  • Fare la Volpe

    When will Barack Obama apologize for these toxic political remarks?

  • EatsBabyDingos

    I don't know if Mike Coffman was born. Unless I see pictures of him coming out of his mother's hoo ha, I will assume he was hatched.

    • Motherfucker came straight off a wingnut assembly line.

      • sewollef

        You can have 'em in any colour as long as it's white.

    • Boojum

      I've seen those pictures. They were taken in Wingnuttistan.

  • Not_So_Much

    Can Mike Coffman's jittery mouth unfuck the assfucking that his own words fucked himself with? Also?

  • Serolf_Divad

    I love it that patriotism has basically been reduced to a variation on "my dad could beat up your dad."

  • MrFizzy

    Semper Fi, eh, motherfucker? Here's a news flash – just because you were a Marine 35 years ago doesn't give you a license to run around slandering other people.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Most (not all) veterans have the good sense not to slime the commander in chief of the active duty guys.

    • chicken_thief

      Hey, I'm a retired Marine but I don't try to use it as license to spout nonsense.

      It does, however, help with the occasional traffic stop.

      • MrFizzy

        Yeah, exactly, integrity is supposed to be baked in – I was not a Marine (Navy), but I doubt the credo includes lying, even when it suits your needs. Now the traffic stop thing is excellent.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "I believe America is unique and based on a core set of principles that make it superior to other nations"

    Fuck you, asshole.

    • Terry

      It's a wonder that the Brits and Canadians, let alone any other countries, even talk to us.

      • Skullfry Buddha

        Mostly cuz we're the bully who coincidentally has lots of money

      • Chichikovovich

        We've learned to just filter it out – rather as you might regard a Tourette's victim who randomly tossed out uninformed jingoism rather than profanity. I remember as a little kid reading an Archie comic where one of the characters said to the other something like "This is the only free country in the world", or something like that. And even at that age – maybe 8 or 9, I was aware that Canada had elections and free press and all that stuff. I remember thinking "How did those morons get to be so ignorant?"

        Multiply that by about 10,000 more experiences of that type, and you have the foreigners attitude toward standard American mindless patriotism.

        • Terry

          To be fair, we have to listen to Canadians go on about their hockey and beer.

          • UW8316154

            and Michael Buble, don't forget we listen to him, too.

          • Fare la Volpe

            And that twat-rag Celine.

          • Negropolis

            And Shania Twain and Justine Beaver and Nickleback and…there is a lot.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        We are so superior to them, we wouldn't even take their calls. We would stand there to check the caller ID as the call goes to our voice mail.

    • freakishlywrong

      Yes. Indeed. Being up to our armpits in bomb-throwing right wing, religious, ignorant fascists makes us truly superior.

    • V572 Is this him?

      And can we pu-leez stop talking about "The Free World"? What other worlds are there? Why are they not free? Yes, we know Mitt still thinks its 1957 and the Soviets are orbiting bomb-filled Sputniks overhead, but the rest of us have moved on.

      • BerkeleyBear

        North Korean Worker's Paradise libel!

    • thatsitfortheother1

      superior to other nations…

      It probably was, during that short time it took the French to catch up.

    • BerkeleyBear

      I know America is not unique and is based on a core set of principles that it borrowed liberally from the thinkers and traditions of other nations, with a healthy respect for those traditions and the belief that every subsequent generation can improve on the past but never achieve perfection.

      Fixed it for him to include some truth. Fuckers who don't know our Founding Fathers were self proclaimed midgets standing on the shoulders of the predecessors don't deserve to have their words treated with respect.

  • I get the distinct feeling that "American Exceptionalism" has become the new dog whistle for White Supremacy.

    I wonder why that is…..

    • Tundra Grifter

      I highly recommend the excellent book "The Limits of Power: The End of American Exceptionalism" (American Empire Project) by Andrew Bacevich.

      Any book by Col. Bacevich is well worth reading!

  • jodyleek

    American Exceptionalism? And by that you mean, in the US America there is an exceptional number of mouth-breathing troglodytes who hate the government, but who campaign extensively to collect checks and benefits from the government. Is that right?

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Maybe Mike needs to be on a pinata like Nikki Haley

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Now let's hear what Corey Booker has to say In Coffman's defense.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    He believes in America Exceptionalism the way Catherine Scalia thinks she's Pamela Anderson sexy.

    • At least Scalia serves the occasional hot dog in her buns

  • We still don't know what Cheney is, in his heart. Probably Messican.

    • chicken_thief

      Isn't Cheney like 6th cousin to Obummerz? In fact, I think Barry learned to toss a football at the family reunions playing catch with Cheney's heart.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Actually, he's right. Obama is not from America. He's from Alpha Centauri. Just like Mittens.

    • thatsitfortheother1


    • Boojum

      Except Bams has HUGE Space Balls.

  • Fare la Volpe

    Didn't American Exceptionalism come about because we wanted an excuse to murder all the Indians and Mexicans who had already staked claims out west?

    Look for the GOP's 2016 campaign platform: White Man's Burden.

    • V572 Is this him?

      It goes well with our current enthusiasm for social Darwinism. All those Unemployeds are just part of the herd being thinned, and the social safety net slows down the inevitable process.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      That was Manifest Destiny. American Exceptionalism came about because we wanted to wipe our ass on everybody else.

    • chicken_thief

      Thank Jeebus that there weren't any "Stand Your Ground" laws back then.

    • American Exceptionalism means one of two things. Its original meaning, as I've understood it, was the suggestion that America was uniquely situated, economically, socially, and culturally, to be the crucible for modern Representative Democracy. A lot of the factors De Toqueville pointed to were probably egregiously wrong, but it wasn't an especially odious thesis.

      Of late, it's been used to say that because America is automatically and innately Morally Right, possibly because Jeebus wrote the Constitution and Declaration of Independence, therefore America is always right and nothing America does could ever possibly be wrong, including things that violate America's own laws, and that there's similarly an imperative to impose the values that America doesn't live up to on the rest of the world, by force. It's basically many of the creepiest precepts of Dominionism, just super-sized to the national/international level.

      Anyway, when Republicans talk Exceptionalism, they usually mean the latter version.

  • SorosBot

    And I believe that anyone who believes in the insidious philosophy of American Exceptionalism is in their heart not a real American, but a fascist who hates the Constitution.

    • chicken_thief

      They are also clearly oblivious to the better qualities of other nations – say like math and science scores, health care delivery systems, and social safety nets.

  • BarackMyWorld

    He did misspeak. Obviously what he meant to say was "Nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger."

    • UW8316154

      "Blah blah blah"

    • BerkeleyBear

      I will know have that on loop to the tune of LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" (wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle) all day. Only voiced by the 6 year olds I hear reciting the lyrics to that song at the park.

  • as a marine, he clearly believes in blahblahblah (but not chain-of-command)

    • Chain of what, now?

      • Terry

        Sing it, Aretha!

        • One of the best moments in recent movie history was John Travolta dancing to that in a dive bar in Michael. Outstanding choice.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      sometimes fidelis

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Wingnuttery means never having to say you're sorry.

    • Regardless of what a sorry sack you really are.

  • StarsUponThars

    <my freedom, not yours>
    <except for poor fuckers>
    <except for gays who want to marry>

    • <and except for people who want family planning, or to use medical marijuana>

      • MoeDeLawn

        Please leave out the "medical" part. It make me feel like a (stoned) hypocrite.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    It's a special Republican ability, being able to look into someone's heart and knowing what they are all about. George W Bush did it, too, with Vladimir Putin. It's a super-power, like those comic book characters have.

    • Pooty-poot!

      Whereas Putin merely had to look at the blank stare of Bush to know he could roll him on just about any issue he wanted to.

      • BerkeleyBear

        As long as he was wearing a cross of a faith he doesn't have, which apparently was enough of a shiny object that Bush's penetrating gaze never went deeper.


  • I approve this dope walking back his statement as long as the walking is truly, and backwardly, taking place off the end of a plank into crocodile-infested swamp muck.

  • What he really said was "Barack Obama is the greatest president ever". But unfortunately his white hood muffled the words.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    "I am Miss Poke, and I apologize"

    Spoken like a true lady.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Statement: I will not watch any videos on Wonket today. As my deadlines loom and my blood pressure is up. I don't want to blow out my aorta.

  • el_donaldo

    Yes, we are unique. In that the rest of the world is laughing at us because we and we alone elect and consent to be governed by asshats like you, Congressman Coffman.

  • freakishlywrong

    Why isn't Mittens being asked to "refudiate" this shit daily? The Obama team, (all of them), had to apologize again and again for Hilary Rosen saying something true.

  • proudgrampa

    I continue to be stunned, and I know that I shouldn't be, at the racist hatred and disrespect directed at our president.

    • chicken_thief

      Well, if only he wasn't a muslin Kenyan soshulist commie Pretender-in-Chief who is destroying America as we know it, they might cut him some slack.

      But then again, he is married to that blah woman who is trying to take away our fries and chips. …

  • SorosBot

    Another thing that makes no sense is how he says "As a Marine, I believe…" when what follows has jack shit to do with being a Marine. Besides that it's a lie, since it appears he's a former Marine, it's completely irrelevant. But a lot of [former] Marines talk like that – as if somehow being in the Marines gives them some special insight into patriotism when it doesn't. I don't give a shit that this guy was in the Marines, nor should anybody.

    Yet it's common with them. Does basic training for Marines include brainwashing to believe that they somehow magically are better Americans than everyone else?

    • Semper Fi, dude. They take that motto seriously. Once a GIrine, always a GIrine.

      • Boojum

        Except when they bad mouth the (blah) CinC.

    • V572 Is this him?


    • BerkeleyBear

      Fuck yes. A childhood friend became a Marine around the time of the First Gulf War, and I wound up seeing his boot camp yearbook (an official Marine publication). Egads, what a load of swill they put out, much of which 18 and 19 year olds swallow whole heartedly. Now, many of them either ignore it or get better, but plenty never do.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      When I had a company (3 partners) we hired one of the company friends as CEO. He was a marine and made sure everyone knew it every fucking second of the day. Also, he was a racist. A hard core conservative. An individual who ran up debt then took bankrupsty. And laughed at the fuckin' ignorant Florida voters that couldn't figure out how to vote in 2000.

      Yeah, we were sooo lucky to have him before the company failed. I am not bitter. Just stupid.

      • Chichikovovich

        Well I hope that you at least paid him a huge bonus just before the company went under. That's the American way.

    • Terry

      " I don't give a shit that this guy was in the Marines, nor should anybody. "

      I know a few Marines who would be p.o.'d that he was making them all look bad.

    • Negropolis

      I agree with that save for the part that there are, indeed, professions in which once you've been in them, you are part of that family, for life. I don't mind former Marines calling themselves Marines. There is no such thing as an ex-Marine or ex-president etc…

  • Skullfry Buddha

    Vladimir Putin…Christ, what a enormous cringe-making embarrassment that was. The minute Bush said he "looked into his soul" the world pissed itself laughing.

    • Boojum

      Bush should have known better. After all, he had experience with the soulless.

  • ShreditorsDesk

    Some machines don't get a 'reset'. They get recalled.

  • elburritodeluxe

    Nobama am still an Islamic though!

  • CapeClod

    It is quite exceptional that his opinions change when told that his remarks have been filmed for a wider audience.

  • What a douchebag.

    I'm sorry, I misspoke. I mean to say, what a fucking shit-for-brains douchebag.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    I do not know whether Mitt Romney was born in America or assembled in a Chinese factory. But I do know this, that in his circuitry, he’s not a human. He’s just not a human.

    • Manchurian Candibot 2.0

      Indeed, his real name is "Meeps," we just misheard him.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Meeps is people, too, my friend!

      • Boojum

        But he's got the "Derp" app running.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    That hostage video was even better than Booker's.

  • Baconzgood
  • Dear me! (O/T). CSM has a game called "Gaffe Dodger: A Presidential Election Game" and it is cracking me up, just the sound effects alone [/LOLgasm]

    Apologies if anyone has mentioned this nifty game already. It seems perfect for wonkette minded's to fill some idle time; & I'm normally not into 'games but I'm all over this.

  • Beetagger

    In my heart, I know this guy is a shitsack.

  • larrykat

    "Is there any question I can ask you that you'll answer in a different way?" That was classic. Good on that reporter.

  • Manhattan123

    Mitt Romney can stop the VP search now. This clown would get every lardass teabagger and their brother (not to mention every yokel Southerner and their cousin – who they no doubt married) out to enthusiastically vote in November.

  • SideshowSlob

    always knew he was a scotsman

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    Looking at the still picture of Coffman in the video, it appears to me that Coffman has had an implant put on his forehead. I'm sure it was to hide his neanderthal looking skull.

  • It would take a Marine to be able to evaluate the relative rankings of every country on the planet and figure out which are the best and worst.

    • DahBoner


      Marines are noted for being the most intellectual branch of the military.

      Well, behind the Air Force, Navy and the Army…

  • By almost every measure the US has become an exceptional nation again – it's close to dead last in just about every important category.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Hey, it's the essence of American exceptionalism to hold the radical idea that everybody should be treated equally — that's why we should be above the law. Now wait a minute — I know those two ideas go together somehow…

  • Tundra Grifter

    Dude held his position about as long as (r)Money supported letting gay couples adopt children.

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    Why is it that those same people hollering about American exceptionalism are the same people who tell us our government sucks ass?

  • Geminisunmars

    As a Denverite, I have been watching Kyle Clark for a while now, and admiring his attempts at being an actual journalist, as much as KUSA will allow him. Can I take this as a sign that real journalism might be returning to our news departments? Nah, he'll probably be looking for a new job in a day or two.

  • owhatever

    Coffman does not care. He intentionally blew the birther dog whistle for his rightwing base, then "apologized" when the librul media said he did so. He's a Marine, so he will rip Obama's head off and piss in the skull, and his teabaggers will applaud. Oh, by the way, he was a lawyer in the Marines.

    • DahBoner

      He was such a skilled lawyer, he couldn't get a job anywhere else but the Marines?

  • niblick77

    Did he do his 20 and retire a Marine? If not I have no respect for him.

  • DahBoner


  • BZ1

    "in his heart, he’s not an American" is there projection going on here??

  • lulzmonger

    Tragic Hostage Video


    Oh, Amerika's sure thirty-nine flavours of fuckin' exceptional, alright.

    Never been another nation in history to have such epic strategic & economic advantages handed to it on a platter literally right from Day One … virtually all of which are by now pissed away, in exchange for the geopolitical equivalent of hookers & blow.

    USA! USA! USA!

  • Nostrildamus

    “But I do know this, that in his heart, he’s not an American. He’s just not an American.”

    “As a Marine, I believe America is unique and based on a core set of principles that make it superior to other nations.”

    Is one of those core principles disloyalty to the president by a member of the armed forces is treason?

  • Tommy1733

    What a beautiful mind.

  • ttommyunger

    Not simply a little cunt- a cowardly little cunt.

  • Manhattan123

    If Colorado is trying to outcrazy Arizona they've got a long way to go, but this guy is singlehandedly putting them in the running.

  • ChapterUndVerse

    "I believe America is unique and based on a core set of principles that make it superior to other nations.” Despite inheriting its citizens from said other nations, its legal principles from Magna Carta and English law as codified by Edward Coke.

    Actually, the "core set of principles" that remained consistent from the founding until now is snake oil salesmanship and theft from the natives. Even the frickin' national bird is a bully and a thief, among its kind.

    The last nation founded on these principles was Sparta.

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