Today, it’s all about robotic fish, robotic laughter, and how robots are taking all our data and trying to become human. Just kidding! Actually it’s about how scientists are looking at all the awkward things you write on Facebook.
- There is a significant debate going on about using people’s data on social media sites for social science studies. Meanwhile, I really don’t care if people know how much I love vlogbrothers on YouTube. Nerdfighters unite! [The New York Times]
- Here is an analysis on Mitt Romney’s laugh that eventually looks at it from “Here’s the interesting parts of being a Mormon that Romney doesn’t want you to know!” perspective. But actually, Romney’s just super-awkward, and only a tickle fight could get the real laugh out of him. [The Daily Beast]
- Giving President Raul Castro’s daughter a visa is a slap in the face to human rights! But, she’s going for a panel on sexual diversity as a gay rights activist. People! They are complex! [Miami Herald]
- Europeans invented robotic fish to analyze the ocean environment, which would hopefully mean less dead fish and more accurate data when it comes to pollution. But forget that, they’re so cute! Robot fish for everyone! [Tecca]
{ 150 comments }
Sarah Palin said on Fox News on Monday that Rev Wright should be brought up against Obama in this election. Gosh, it worked so well last time! Does this mean that the Mormon religion should be dissected?
What about her affiliation with the Alaska secessionists?
And her rapture-ready weirdo racist church? She goes to a church that makes Wright seem pretty mainstream.
I would literally like to take some time off…go join that church and expose it for the shit it is.
deprogramming cultists is harder than you think, and they are very good at what they do.
Fox News doesn't ask any question of Palin that isn't a softball question. Hell, I've seen Tiger Beat magazine ask tougher questions to Justin Bieber.
Justin Bieber could tell you what newspapers he's read lately.
The LGBT Times?
That seems fair; Justin Beeble is smarter and more mature.
Now now, she's not running…
She should be. Away.
Yes, preferably without anesthesia. We could gig it like a frog.
Let's dissect all of them, Katie.
Romney's giggle is just a software glitch. Just turn him over, shake him for a month and he'll be okay.
He just needs an oil bath. It's really more a squeak than a laugh
Doesn't he have a little hole where you stick a paper clip into?
I thought that Mitt's laugh was a result of his Jesus Jammies being too tight.
If Romney were Catholic, would he eat robot fish on Fridays during Lent?
Yes. But only on Robot Lent
Robots who fail go to the shop where they are resurrected – er, recycled – and three days later, they are back on the job. Jesus, Mitt, Robots – coincidence??
only on Robot Lent
You're all wrong.
The real church calendar season of Romney-may-care commences in four days from now with Mittsuntide, for Pete's sake!
The thought of a tickle-fight to the death between Presidential candidates just brightened Bryan Fischer's face for a moment — then he scared himself straight again at the realization how gay and sexually deviant that would be.
That's a stretch, to think that Fischer is that self-aware.
Panderbot would like a definition of this "tickle" thing you speak of.
Tickle-fight to the death = violation of the first law. Mitt-bot must demure.
So Raul's daughter gets to come here, but we still don't get to go there?
Sure you can, but you cannot spend any money.
The rules were tightened recently. Most Americans can't do the tour thing anymore. You either have to have blood relations down there or be doing missionary work.
Can you do a survey of missionary positions?
The Missionary's position was clear. Ah, does anyone remember Graham Parker? He was the better version of Elvis Costello. Endless Night, of course.
Y'know, I didn't ask and I'm shocked it didn't occur to me to ask.
Ten fistings for you!
Plus whatever the gulag near Havana would give you.
(I'm really just tired of smuggling my stogies in through the Caymans)
Can she play baseball? The Yankees could use some help.
She makes too many muffs.
Or so I heard.
Only when the pitcher is rushing the mound.
Romney saves his biggest guffaws for losers and people who pay more than 14% in taxes.
Reptiloids are ticklish?
~
Scales chafe
Is that Robot Fish gay?
Some of Romney's best robots are his friends too, also.
The robotic fish in [body of water X] have the right circuitry.
Some of his best friends own robots.
Romney's laugh proves he's a robotic fish? I think we already knew that.
I have no idea if it is tied to Mormonism or just Mitt's own insecurity, but it does seem appropriate, somehow, that one of the buzziest movies in Cannes was a short clip of the new Great Gatsby version (starring, appropriately, Leonardo di Caprio, the most transparently hollow actor in quite some time) just as this hollow man is one step from the White House.
Does that mean he is a bad actor? Tell me in terms I would understand, how bad is he on the Keanu scale? Compare him to Dan Draper's wife, whoever that animated manikin is.
Bad – not exactly. More like a composite of the tics and features of other actors, leaving one feeling as if one has never seen a genuine piece of work from the actor, but rather the actor's interpretation of how another, more natural actor, might approach the work. Sort of like Mittbot's sense of "humor", really.
Of course in a world in which Spicoli became one of the "greatest actors of a generation", who am I to judge?
Good thing the Euros invented robotic fish, because pretty soon there won't be any real fish to fish for.
Or robots to fish for them.
All due respect, Sulagna, but we have to shorten your name. Can we just call you "Intern" or "Hey you!"?
"Su" ?
Or "Sluggo"? How about "Sluggo"?
I thought her name was "Tits".
Do you mind if we call you Bruce?
Also, where in Jersey are you from?
She's from Joisey? What exit?
"Sulagna Misra" backwards is "Arsim Angalus." Also, the word "manga" is right in the middle of it. Co-incidence?
"Sulagna, your Wonket name is "Flounder" "Why Flounder?" "WHY NOT!"
And another thing. It's clear that the Republican party is like those EuroFish, robotten from the head down.
His so-called giggles give me night terrors.
Like Sheldon's serial killer smile when he tries to be "nice":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7FyO7-2t6s
Yay, Sheldon!
Is Apple behind these iCod?
Shoulda TM'd that immediately. The difference between suing Cupertino and being sued by Cupertino can be mere seconds.
Too late, bro
Maybe iScrod instead?
"Gee, you don't often hear the past pluperfect".
Mitt laughs uncomfortably because he knows all the rules — gays should be hidden away in the basement, marijuana is wrong, even if medically effective, and birth control is what two married people do when they want to have six more kids instead of seven — and it involves prayer.
What makes him uncomfortable is when people ask him about that — like, Mitt, why don't we just legalize marijuana and birth control and caffeine and such? Geeze, people — stop asking! It's like you don't know The LORD's right over your shoulder glaring at you with his big, angry eyes for questioning his authority. Just shut the doodly-durn up, okay? Hahahahaha.
lord thats good. I now dub you "SayItLikeHSTWould."
That Nordic Jesus has one terrifying stare – like he's burning holes into your fucking soul!!!
It's not Nordic J, it's Mormon J, who towards the end of the Book of Mormon basically destroys all human civilization in North (and maybe Central) America. You know, the Prince of Peace.
Can we catch these robotic fish with internets?
*facepalm*
Ow.
(translation: "Why didn't I think of that?")
Don't forget to tip the waiters. I'm here all week.
So Raul Castro is letting his daughter come here, even after Fidel sending his granddaughter to the United Nations International School in New York lead to her falling in love with Jay Sherman's son Marty?
I don't think he had much choice, seeing as how her mom sought asylum here.
At least she didn't fall in love with Allan Sherman.
Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh
Here I am in
Camp GwanTawnMo
Or Woody Allen.
Odd…the sound of Mitt's laughter is quite similar to the machinery in an Aibo when it gets stuck in a corner.
Do android fish dream of electric sardines?
They dream of being swallowed whole by iCod
(Yes, I stole that. No, I have no shame)
"More human than human" is our motto.
I think we would have only heard Willard's true laughter when his sycophant executive assistant toady came in his office at Bain capital, put a spread sheet in front of him and said "This is how much money we'll make when we lay off these 1900 workers!"
"MOOHAHAHA!!"
Why is so much of our foreign policy dictated by a bunch of fascist expat Cubans in Miami, and why has their influence been so profound? Remember Elian and the Magic Dolphin? Even God gets involved in this shit. Every president has to go kowtow by giving a speech in Dolphins stadium, same way how every GOP candidate speaks at the unspeakable Liberty Ersatz University. Daddy Bush ran the Cuban operatives for the CIA, and those Cuban operatives supported Jeb Bush and made his political career, so in a way the fucking Cubans are responsible for ALL the bushes. And don't ask me who killed Kennedy.
If a relatively small group of activists attempts to drive our national policy in a direction that only serves their narrow (and emotionally distorted) interests but does so by appealing to some vague "national" interest, arguing that even though most of us don't live in south Florida we should all nonetheless be united in our concern over this issue…if, in other words, they want us to ignore our own real self-interests in favor of this vague, broad, collective interest isn't that…COMMUNISM?!!
Plus Watergate!
You sound like you are talking about The Aspen Institute, or PNAC.
I think this has shifted a little, as the latest generation of Cuban-Americans really just don't give a crap except that abuela can't send birthday cards too easily.
Obama has slightly normalized relations with Cuba in his first term and it hasn't caused the kind of poutrage that past efforts have. Partly because Castros changed (Raul was just as ideologic as his brother at the beginning) but more because the claims to property in Cuba seem even sillier to the latest generation.
If you watched the recent protests of this (and there was some other issue that cropped up earlier this year), you'd see an awful lot of Hoverounds and not because the Cubans protesting were fat: they were ollllllllllllllld
yes.
None of this is going to matter much when most of Florida and all of Cuba is underwater. And, in spite of your asking not to ask, I will tell you that it was Lee Harvey Oswald who killed Kennedy. I read it in a Stephen King book.
King proved it beyond a shadow of doubt and to a moral certainty by documenting that Lee Harvey Oswald was the illegitimate child of Carrie White and Willie Wolfe and was raised in an old closed hotel in the remote Rocky Mountains and driven to the Texas School Book Depository in a 1958 Plymouth Fury.
"Why is so much of our foreign policy dictated by a bunch of fascist expat Cubans in Miami, and why has their influence been so profound?"
Because they are a reliable voting bloc in a city where most people don't give a shit. Why do you think Ileana Ros-Lehtinen has served in congress for twenty three years despite the fact that she represents liberal enclaves such as South Beach, Coral Gables and all of the Keys?
"Europeans invented robotic fish to analyze the ocean environment,"
I thought that's why they invented Jacques Cousteau.
Every time I go scuba diving, in my mind I internally narrate the dive, in a french accent and much poetic, dramatic hyperbole.
"Az Prah-mee descendz into ze inky depths…."
Exactly.
I'm dying to rent the Aqualung double hose.
Ever dive with a J-valve? Two words: don't.
I used an old 1960s double-hose once. Felt like Lloyd Bridges that time. I much prefer feeling like Jeff Bridges, man.
A friend dives rebreathers on occasion (videography, mostly) and he swears he sees Sean Connery with a knife swim up behind him.
Does it give you locomotive breath?
*snap*
That explains those greasy fingers spearing shabby clothes!
No, wait. That's my dry cleaner…
Are these sex toys, for snorkeling?
It means she can get on top.
My first set up was a 1965 Aqualung Double Hose and a US Divers tank with a J-valve. Then it was considered the only way to go. Eventually got an SPG.
Back then, getting the double hose, despite the fact that single hose was new and in, meant you weren't exhaling in your own face when in certain positions.
Man, I don't have cool paranoid delusions like that when I dive. I'm mostly concerned with keeping the fish off my pecker.
Don't swim in the Amazon, would be my advice to you.
LLOYD BRIDGES LIBEL!
LLOYD BRIDGES LIBELZ!!!!
I see everything twice!!!
As much as I try to "refresh" frequently….
Try not wearing your backup mask on top of the first one.
But then again, at least you don't have to blow the dough on redundant puters.
Um, everything I said the second time you said this. (See below)
No, no. You go ahead … I'm a bit dizzy and need to sit. I'm seein double …
Mittens may be the most advanced replicant the Tyrell Corp. ever produced, but I still think a rusty Nexus-6 could kick his ass.
Shoot! A Cherry 2000 could kick Mitt's ass!
I think his creator is Jackson Roy Kirk.
Man, is Albert Pujols going to feel stupid when he realizes what he's missing out on by heading to Anaheim.
Haha, dude's name is poo holes.
Mitt's friends own robot fish companies.
If you ever had lutefisk, you'd realize this is not a bad thing.
Uff da!
What? No link yet to James Lipton's advice on how Mitt might try to seem human?
He needs more gravitas?
Pot, meet kettle drum…
We name Ages based on how we hurt other people. Stone Age, we used stones. Bronze Age, we used bronze. Information Age, well, you know…
And, we did have the Bush Era.
Smart Bombs.
~
I'm holding out for the Whips and Chains Age
That's not an Age, it's a relationship.
His handlers should just let MittBot get real sleepy then he'll be extra giggly. I know that's what happens when I get sleepy.
Also under roofies!
…Oops.
I have special "sleepy cigarettes", and they make me giggly!
1,000th comment on the not-so-new commenting system. I'm slow, but it's still a milestone.
And hey, Sulagna, come on, still no cute kitty-cat links? No soft-porn fappy links? Come on, make with the lulz, babe.
Misra loves company.
(I'm going to hell for that one, I know)
LOOKOUT Lisa!! THE MUMMY
Gov. Jan Brewer promoting Arizona on Europe trip http://azstarnet.com/business/local/gov-jan-brewe…
Bring plenty of water though.
Tucson officials ID German tourist who died on hike
http://azstarnet.com/news/local/tucson-officials-…
The Hey! We got neo-Nazis, too pitch didn't go over so well..
do i really have to consider the possibility that i have to look at that face and hear that fucking laugh after november?
please tell me this is not so, i am feeling fragile today.
Well, if by "possibility," you mean "less than a snowball has in hell after a taco" then yes.
<<<hugz>>> (I bet that doesn't help, does it?)
Look, Mitt giggles because he thinks it's funny. Haircuts, firing people, all that stuff. The (just the right) height of humor.
But I can still sue Facebook to take my name off the Google, if someone posts my private public conversations, just like George Tierney, Jr. of Greenville, South Carolina, right?
Skynet, skynet, and…skynet. Also.
Nothing on how the big investment firms withheld information about the Facebook IPO?
Apparently, they "forgot" to mention to normal investors several issues. Oops!
The thing about Mitt's denial of bullying was that he was laughing the whole time during the interview. Like: I do not remember doing that but it sure would have been funny if I had!
Well, Cheney figured out that Bush really was stupid enough to be replaced with a robot.
It's a shame they couldn't make the laughter function sound more human, but it was good enuff for gum'mint work…
Wait a second, Mittens is a robotic fish giving a talk on gay rights, while laughing moronically??
That robot is way better-looking than lutefisk.
Kennedy in the AM, the Kennedys at night.
If you ever see Goddard's film, Mick and the boys come back after finding out Robert Kennedy had been shot and do a superlative remix of a fairly interesting, but mediocre song.
We're laughing too, Willard…Not with you, you understand; but at you.
Nitrogen narcosis is great!
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