SURFING THE HIMALAYAS  3:15 pm May 22, 2012

The Wonkette Geopoliticker: Our Favorite Cold War

by John Schoenkopf

Just cold bein coolOur favorite war right now is definitely India vs. Pakistan up on a glacier in the Himalayas, but it might be coming to an end. For those few who don’t know, India has been actually at war with Pakistan since 1984 (something to tell people when they raise the specter of India and Pakistan ever going to war with each other), and neither side has used any nukes. They’re fighting over a glacier so immense and rad that it’s referred to in geography cliques as the Third Pole. They’re fighting because of cartographic ambiguity and they’re fighting because it’s good politically on both sides to do so, since partition.

Since a 2003 ceasefire and because there’s a ‘line of control’ that both sides accept in real terms as a de facto border, this conflict has moved into the truly pointless category. The real battle isn’t India vs. Pakistan anymore, but Each Side vs. the Unlivable Mountain, with its hundred mile an hour winds and negative-50-degree temperatures. The oxygen level is half of that at sea level. You can only hike at night because the sun’s heat makes avalanches more likely during the day. You get to shower once a month in the summer, and never in the winter, so you get lice, you fall into giant crevasses a hundred feet deep and ten feet across and die. And to top it off, idiot talk show hosts come tape episodes and eat all your damn food.

Over 3,000 soldiers on the Pakistani side have died since this all started, and most of them succumbed to the mountain, not India. Just this past month, an avalanche killed 138 of them, and now there’s growing sentiment on both sides of the war that this isn’t a smart war to be fighting. There’s talk of turning the entire 50-mile glacier into a Peace Park, and considering a billion people drink its water, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea!

Pakistan’s even being pretty cool. Army chief General Ashfaq Parvez Kayani, in a rare media thing, said about Siachen: “All issues should be resolved and peaceful co-existence is very necessary for both countries. There is no doubt about that.” And check out this really nice video they put out recently honoring their avalanched soldiers; except for that scary part when they point that cannon at the mountain, it all seems so innocent up there. Maybe they can stay on as Park Rangers.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 166 comments }

Maman May 22, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Is it better to win or lose a pyhrric victory?

Lascauxcaveman May 22, 2012 at 3:47 pm

It's better to just have a really awesome snowball fight.

V572 Is this him? May 22, 2012 at 3:48 pm

You're just asking for this, and I can't resist: if you lose, it can't be a victory, pyrrhic or otherwise, or at least so King Pyrrhus of Epirus told me.

Well actually he told Plutarch, and I heard it from him.

Well to be really truthful I wikied it up.

Maman May 22, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Ahhh, but no one remembers anyone but the victor, so doesn't the loser really win when it comes to a useless and detrimental battle?

That was what I was thinking about anyway

V572 Is this him? May 22, 2012 at 4:33 pm

George W Bush’s conquest of Iraq: the most Pyrrhic victory since Heraclea in 280 BC and Asculum in 279 BC.

swordfis May 22, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Well, it's a potentially great aphorism Maman, so I suggest a rewrite: Which is better, a Pyrrhic victory or a Pyrrhic defeat?

actor212 May 22, 2012 at 4:02 pm

I had a bad case of pyrrhea once. Trust me, there are no winners there.

Sir_Fartz_Alot May 22, 2012 at 4:34 pm

no doubt it was all the indian/paki food

Not_So_Much May 22, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Depends. Does 'pyhrric' mean sores on your lip or on your weiner?

Biel_ze_Bubba May 22, 2012 at 8:23 pm

It applies equally to the two of you, I think.

Tundra Grifter May 22, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Chinese dissident quietly comes to the US of A.

Iran looks like it is going to agree to let international inspectors in to look for evidence of a nuclear weapons program. Without a war first.

Israel appears to be waking up to the concept of trying a new way to find peace in the Middle East.

Now these two nations are trying to stop their war?

The Obama Administration foreign policy failures just stack up one after another, don't they?

prommie May 22, 2012 at 3:25 pm

What, is Israel going to officially recognize arabs as human beings, in exchange for them recognizing the nation of Isael?

iburl May 22, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Why does Obama hate our job-creating munitions makers?

ifthethunderdontgetya May 22, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Iran looks like it is going to agree to let international inspectors in to look for evidence of a nuclear weapons program. Without a war first.

Worked out great for Iraq.
~

Negropolis May 23, 2012 at 1:20 am

Given that we've seen this show before, you can be assured, this time, that we're not using inspection as a pretext for war. In fact, this time, it's exactly the opposite.

But, Bush = Obama (insert some other radical, conspiracy theorist bullshit), rinse, lather, repeat.

elviouslyqueer May 22, 2012 at 3:29 pm

This is really really shitty news for military fapmeister Neil Munro.

RedneckMuslin May 22, 2012 at 3:32 pm

All signs of the Apocalypse!

actor212 May 22, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Hang on there, Speedy. They haven't settled up over Kashmir.

I pity Jimmy Page. All those royalties sitting in escrow.

MissTaken May 22, 2012 at 3:41 pm

I guess that Hopey-Changey stuff is kinda working out after all. Weird.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 22, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Mitt Romney takes a lot of credit for that.

Come to think of it, "taking" is pretty much what he does best.

Callyson May 22, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Just ask Osama bin Laden.

fuflans May 22, 2012 at 4:00 pm

and myanmar, the reset with russia (though that may be short-lived), settlement of the okinawa base issue, the pivot to asia, mature dealings with china, the successful sudan split (though that too may be short-lived), bin laden, hell even afghanistan seems guardedly positive.

course, there's always canada. we can't talk about fucking canada.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 12:04 am

You have NO IDEA how many head explodeys have occurred since this shit hit the news. I have friends who used to head for the shitter with the excuse, "Off to bomb Pakistan/India," depending on which side of the border claimed their allegiance. What are those stupid fuckers gonna say NOW?

weejee May 22, 2012 at 3:21 pm

This sounds like a snow job. Mittens, is that you buried in that damn parka?

DerrickWildcat May 22, 2012 at 3:21 pm

This is really good news. Now both of them countries can spend their time winning lots of Gold medals in the Olympics!

actor212 May 22, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Is cricket an Olympic sport? I don't think it's been competed since 1948.

I suppose they could win water polo but it must be tough getting those horses in scuba gear.

V572 Is this him? May 22, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Ever see that "30 Rock" with the fake Olympic events like tetherball and synchronized running? It's wonderful.

actor212 May 22, 2012 at 4:01 pm

NO SPOILERS!

I have money on Nock Hockey

Lascauxcaveman May 22, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Some of them would probably make a good showing in the biathlon.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 12:05 am

To which any Indian/Pakistani worth their salt would say, "Arre, what is this Olympic-sholympic, na, there is GOLD to be made in the international money markets first!"

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 22, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Don't worry. If Mitt Romney is elected, we will surely invade it within the year.

SorosBot May 22, 2012 at 3:25 pm

So both countries have been warring with Caradhras the Cruel?

MosesInvests May 22, 2012 at 4:37 pm

'Caradhras was called the Cruel, and had an ill name,' said Gimli, 'long years ago, when rumour of Sauron had not been heard in these lands.'

smokefilledroommate May 22, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Do Rocky and Mayur do weddings?

prommie May 22, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Nepotism, is that whats a-going on here? Are you mormon, Rebecca?

chascates May 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm

AKA: free labor.

ph7 May 22, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Don't tell Riley. First Breitbart, now this.

Guppy May 22, 2012 at 4:48 pm

They're all her brother-husbands.

SayItWithWookies May 22, 2012 at 3:26 pm

I'm not worried about peace getting out of control — those bitches will always have Kashmir.

RedneckMuslin May 22, 2012 at 3:33 pm

They wear Prada?

actor212 May 22, 2012 at 3:38 pm

The Pashmina would like a word

LesBontemps May 22, 2012 at 3:38 pm

The war over disputed Pashmina is already out of control.

actor212 May 22, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…

LesBontemps May 22, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Relax. In less than an hour no one will know which of us posted the Pashmina joke first. Not that anyone cared anyway.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 12:07 am

I was just wondering how many people would even *get* it.

Mumbletypeg May 22, 2012 at 3:43 pm

will always have Kashmir.

"We're gun-na rock / A-round Ladakh tonight!" ♪

SayItWithWookies May 22, 2012 at 3:51 pm

What this peace party needs is a good Jammu band.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 12:07 am

Rerererererere! Different country!

Sir_Fartz_Alot May 22, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Zeppelin Libel!!!

noodlesalad May 22, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Needz moar tauntaun

actor212 May 22, 2012 at 3:38 pm

And I thought these things smelled bad on the OUTside.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 12:08 am

Will you settle for tauntin'?

IncenseDebate May 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Peace won't last. Some asshole(s) will fuck it up.

coolhandnuke May 22, 2012 at 3:42 pm

John Bolten is the man for the job…he'd curry a favor or two.

Blueb4sunrise May 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Cool.

Mumbletypeg May 22, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Yeah. This news renders me snarkless.

radio-of-owls May 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Ashfaq

A bit of an accent, but otherwise really a very good description of Our Wonket's roots.

chascates May 22, 2012 at 3:31 pm

"… succumbed to the mountain"? It's the Yetis, damn it!

actor212 May 22, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I doubt they're involved.

Not yeti, at any rate.

Yes, that was abominable.

IncenseDebate May 22, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I'm not so sherpa.

Lascauxcaveman May 22, 2012 at 3:55 pm

You guys can just kiss my crevasse.

actor212 May 22, 2012 at 4:00 pm

You moraine!

LesBontemps May 22, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Alt hedder:

Indo-Pak Icepack Peace Pact?

Guppy May 22, 2012 at 4:48 pm

What is this, the New York Post?

LesBontemps May 22, 2012 at 4:53 pm

That or Variety.

Schmannnity May 22, 2012 at 3:32 pm

"You get to shower once a month in the summer, and never in the winter, so you get lice, you fall into giant crevasses a hundred feet deep and ten feet across and die. "

Palin feminine hygiene?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 12:09 am

What's so feminine about Palin "hygiene"? (Them laydees of my acquaintance is clean little nice-smelling things.)

Schmannnity May 22, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Build the damn glacial fence!

CapnFatback May 22, 2012 at 3:34 pm

My money's on whichever side gets the Wampas to fight for them.

Oblios_Cap May 22, 2012 at 3:34 pm

The oxygen level is half of that at sea level. You can only hike at night because the sun’s heat makes avalanches more likely during the day. You get to shower once a month in the summer, and never in the winter, so you get lice, you fall into giant crevasses a hundred feet deep and ten feet across and die. And to top it off, idiot talk show hosts come tape episodes and eat all your damn food.

Someone call Disney, quick! I smell a Theme Park!

actor212 May 22, 2012 at 3:34 pm

The real battle isn’t India vs. Pakistan anymore, but Each Side vs. the Unlivable Mountain, with its hundred mile an hour winds and negative-50-degree temperatures.

The Battle For Mt Washington.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 22, 2012 at 8:34 pm

The loser goes home, while the winner . . . loses.

radio-of-owls May 22, 2012 at 3:34 pm

New Band Name:

Third Pole & The Derpa Sherpas.

Jus_Wonderin May 22, 2012 at 3:50 pm

"Hey, wanna see my third pole" was my best pickup line in my youth. Their reply was usually something about "not with a ten foot pole" which I never understood. And then they slapped me.

actor212 May 22, 2012 at 4:03 pm

The comeback was "But it goes to eleven!"

ManchuCandidate May 22, 2012 at 3:35 pm

All it needs is some Tribbles and Quadrotriticale to turn this farce into Sherman's Planet.

Jus_Wonderin May 22, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Though, some sizzlin' Horta action could help too.

OldWhiteLies May 22, 2012 at 3:35 pm

So wait – is it possible? Is it real?

Reasonably unfettered good news – really?

I simply do not know how to respond. Does one perhaps hazard a smile in these circumstances?

Or did I miss something and it's all a façade?

elviouslyqueer May 22, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Worry not. I smell an impending Ken Layne post. Order must be restored.

OldWhiteLies May 22, 2012 at 4:01 pm

OH, and speaking of, is it too soon to go over and add Mema to the Wonkette Wikipedia entry memes list?

commiegirl May 22, 2012 at 4:06 pm

While you guys are fixing the memes, can somebody please update it with ME?

actor212 May 22, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Sure, but who are you again?

MissTaken May 22, 2012 at 3:35 pm

We should fight the snow over there so we don't have to fight it over here.

actor212 May 22, 2012 at 3:40 pm

*sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiff*

Huh? I'M SNORTING AS FAST AS I CAN, DAMMIT!

smokefilledroommate May 22, 2012 at 3:46 pm

This is pure snow, Lane! Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?

MissTaken May 22, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 12:11 am

Oh, YOU would know about snow, Miss "I Live In 'It Never Snows In' Californeeyuh".

pinkocommi May 22, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Romney'll take a lot of credit for this, of course.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 22, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Dang!

coolhandnuke May 22, 2012 at 3:36 pm

There is but a few glaciers that remain in our very own Glacier National Park and they will disappear in my lifetime. So what should we rename the park?

Jus_Wonderin May 22, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Super Tornado Shelter Park?

Chichikovovich May 22, 2012 at 3:49 pm

The Koch Brothers Deer Farm?

prommie May 22, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Wildlife ghetto?

rickmaci May 22, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Oil Drilling Site?

actor212 May 22, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Keep it simple: National National Park

MissTaken May 22, 2012 at 4:05 pm

That Place Only Rich White People Can Afford To Go Visit?

Negropolis May 23, 2012 at 1:51 am

Glacier National Landfill?

'Cause that's what it's gonna become when it melts away.

CrunchyKnee May 22, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Shit, a billion people drink water from there?!?!?! Privatize it NOW!!! And moar tax cuts for the jerbs creators!!!111! All we need is to open up "free trade" with the Pakistanis and Indians. Then bam, the fuckers who fund our betters in the government get moar monies. Your move, Barry.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 22, 2012 at 8:37 pm

With all those corpses in the water supply? Yeccch!

OneYieldRegular May 22, 2012 at 3:39 pm

This is great news for the Yeti.

MissTaken May 22, 2012 at 3:43 pm

The oxygen level is half of that at sea level. You can only hike at night because the sun’s heat makes avalanches more likely during the day. You get to shower once a month in the summer, and never in the winter, so you get lice, you fall into giant crevasses a hundred feet deep and ten feet across and die

Soros, honey, I just found where we'll honeymoon at!

actor212 May 22, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Bristol's crotch is taking reservations?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 12:13 am

Are youse guys tyin' the knot already? Wow! I knew youse when!

HistoriBarb May 23, 2012 at 12:21 am

I guess they're tired of having sex all the time …

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 1:35 am

They're awful cute, sweet, and loveable, but damn if they weren't having more sex than the rest of us all put together.

Of course, there's the fact that they *can* assume the (various) position(s).

BaldarTFlagass May 22, 2012 at 3:45 pm

I guess the Brits, when they left, forgot to tell the Pakistanis and Indians that the Great Game was finished back in the 1920s.

Wile E. Quixote May 22, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Either that or the Pakistanis and Indians just ignored them like we did when they told us about Afghanistan.

BaldarTFlagass May 22, 2012 at 4:42 pm

What I can't understand is why the Brits went in with us on this one. I mean, they got their asses handed to them three times there previously, why did they think it would work out any differently this time?

doloras May 22, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Because Tony Blair is the same kind of dipshit vulgar post-modernist as Dubya Bush and thought that reality was whatever rich people said it was.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 12:16 am

They've very very stupid people. Many years of fortunate military shenanigans do not change this. A serious reading of history shows that the fact that Great Britain has survived thus far is nothing short of fortuitous. They have had some of the greatest idiots as leaders of that benighted nation. Oh, yes, and greedy, unethical swine, of course. Which kind of made up for the idiots, I guess.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 12:14 am

Because it wasn't, really. Only the players changed.

You read Kim too, did you?

DWW May 23, 2012 at 5:20 am

Apparently a greater game is happening in Afghanistan, with US withdrawal…with Russia, China, US, India and Pakistan playing with proxies. Few years from now, would make this look like mega-peacetime.

IncenseDebate May 22, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Not so fast, Gandhi.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 12:17 am

Gandhi? Which one? Indira? Sonia? Firoz?

BigSkullF*ckingDog May 22, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Needz more ton-tons!

BaldarTFlagass May 22, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Another great spot to fight and die for, like the Falkland Islands.

LesBontemps May 22, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Malvinas!

Biel_ze_Bubba May 22, 2012 at 3:55 pm

All those macho assholes who love war should get their chance to spend a year on this battlefield. It's basically a game, with real guns instead of paintballs, so they should love it, and with all volunteers on both sides, it would be win-win for everybody.

BaldarTFlagass May 22, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Maybe they can host the Winter Olympics. Watch out for the unexploded ordnance, though!!

Biel_ze_Bubba May 22, 2012 at 8:40 pm

New event: the marathon biathlon. Contestants slog through the snow, shooting at each other, for 26 years.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 12:17 am

Sounds most fitting.

DahBoner May 22, 2012 at 3:56 pm

"You get to shower once a month in the summer, and never in the winter, so you get lice, you fall into giant crevasses a hundred feet deep and ten feet across and die."

Yes, but I bet you can get better curry than in Salt Lake City….

Biel_ze_Bubba May 22, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Finally, a job suited for Mitt Romney!

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 12:18 am

Jesus Christ, I never want to eat in Salt Lake City ever again! The shit that passed for food at the airport was bad enough!

HistoriBarb May 23, 2012 at 12:24 am

I've never dined at the SLC airport but I do remember going on a family vacation to Utah several decades ago. My eight year old self thought the food was quite good. Probably not very exotic but definitely tasty.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 1:33 am

I know you live in TX, but I've never been there so know nothing about the food, other than that the cuisine of your southern neighbours appears to be exerting a beneficial influence. My idea of food does not equate to slabs of scorched meat with boiled or baked starchy roots and a salad. My idea of food worth eating also usually includes searing quantities of flavourful spices. I can assure you that the entire city of Salt Lake probably doesn't contain sufficient spices for my taste, based on what they served at the airport. Everything appeared to have sugar and salt added aplenty, but nothing by way of fresh herbs, flavourings, spices, or, in fact, anything that had once even resembled food in its existence. Dear god, those people need more fiber!

DahBoner May 23, 2012 at 3:47 pm

SLC has a few so-so restaurants, but Milwaukee has better…

Mahousu May 22, 2012 at 3:58 pm

No joke, the Indian side called themselves "the highest army in the world."

Biel_ze_Bubba May 22, 2012 at 8:42 pm

Vietnam vets want a word with them…

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 12:19 am

Eh, they have plenty of kif up there, I'm sure.

BaldarTFlagass May 22, 2012 at 4:00 pm

These Geopoliticker posts, it's like reading the Wonkette version of The Economist. Am I at the airport? I only read the Economist when I fly somewhere.

RedneckMuslin May 22, 2012 at 4:00 pm

James O"keefe should make a movie there.

Jus_Wonderin May 22, 2012 at 4:06 pm

James Oh'crevass!

metamarcisf May 22, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Speaking of which, just a couple of days ago four mountain climbers died on Everest. After seeing pictures of this snowbound overcrowded goatfuck, it makes me wonder: Why do these people always attempt these climbs during the winter?

prommie May 22, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Its to do with the monsoon season, they climb during the local calm, dry season.

BaldarTFlagass May 22, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Maybe they're attention whores. You notice that it's never reported when someone climbs the mountain successfully, only when someone dies trying.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 22, 2012 at 8:47 pm

At this point, anybody who claims to have summited Everst is just rich, bored, and the beneficiary of a good stretch of weather. Other than themselves, nobody's impressed.

Mahousu May 22, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Rather than send Indian talk show hosts up there, why don't we send American talk radio hosts? We wouldn't even ask for them back.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 22, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Good idea, but the TSA people would get suspicious about the one-way tickets we provided.

fuflans May 22, 2012 at 4:04 pm

if they just wait a couple of years, i'm sure global warming will take care of all of this.

Lascauxcaveman May 22, 2012 at 4:04 pm

I'd wager you did; but I don't have any money Tibet on it.

actor212 May 22, 2012 at 4:12 pm

That joke is Nepalling.

Lascauxcaveman May 22, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Well, Chascates started it, so it's not fair to whine about what the Caveman did, without complaining about what the Katmandu.

actor212 May 22, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Snow problem. I was just drumlin my fingers on the desk waiting for an opening anyway.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 22, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Can we just stomp a Bhutan this thread, right now?

SaintRond May 22, 2012 at 4:26 pm

I'm with the Indians, because they worship two legged elephant head chicks with really killer hot bodies and cover themselves with powdered dye on holidays and do crazy musicals that look like Heaven on earth and they let cows walk in the street and lynch anyone who hurts them, while the Pakistanis kind of talk and act like exotic Republican lifeforms.

Anyway, that's the way I see it.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 22, 2012 at 9:24 pm

And they have Priyanka Chopra. Your move, Pakistan.

SaintRond May 22, 2012 at 9:47 pm

That said, Pakistan has Noor Jehan, Nahid Akhtar, Naseebo Lal, Irene Parveen and Runa Laila (who actually went to Bengladesh after the war) vs. Asha Bhosle, Geeta Dutt, S. Janaki, P. Susheela and Lata Mangeshkar.

It's a bit of a tie there. To my mind, whoever's got the best smack and hash is going to take the prize.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 12:22 am

Lata Mangeshkar? Are we talking singers/musicians vs. hot hot hot bodies, yaar, maine what is this-all business?

SaintRond May 23, 2012 at 1:00 am

No, they're all singers. Singers and drugs. What else is there?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 12:21 am

Uh … woof. (Subsides weakly into fapping chair)

Wilson_Dizard3 May 22, 2012 at 5:12 pm

It gets worse. I read about this war a few years ago, when one of the Pakistani Army's major problems was keeping its troops supplied with basic needs, as well as all of their military equipment. At the time, no helicopters or fixed wing aircraft could fly high enough with enough cargo to keep the troops resupplied. So the Pakistani Army relied on mules. Problem there was, even though the mules were very sure-footed, the mountain trails they were traveling were extremely treacherous. Many mules fell. Each mule was good for only one trip, according to the story. The article did not elaborate on the fates of the animals who made it all the way to the top. Mules are very intelligent and personable animals. It was a very sad story.

commiegirl May 22, 2012 at 5:50 pm

But it gets better! My brother informs me that both sides have a gentlemen's agreement not to shoot each other's supply helicopters out of the sky. SO NEIGHBORLY!

Biel_ze_Bubba May 22, 2012 at 9:26 pm

You can tell they were trained by the British.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 12:23 am

The mules?

SaintRond May 22, 2012 at 9:37 pm

I remember that, when Reagan was sending American mules and donkeys to die in a foreign land and it PISSED ME OFF.

There's no reason American mules should be dying for a job Pakistani mules could be doing for themselves.

BZ1 May 22, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Likely if the mules survived the trip to the top, they were eaten!

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 12:22 am

That is sad. Poor beasts, they don't have anything to gain from humanity's stupidities except death.

Terry May 22, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Isn't the Third Pole more precisely the Tibetan Plateau?

George Spelvin May 22, 2012 at 9:08 pm

NUKE THE GLACIERS!!!!!

PuckStopsHere May 22, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Cheese-eating cut-and-runners.

ttommyunger May 22, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Every time I get a flash of genius for a brilliant comment one of these new video ads starts blaring at me. Velly annoying……Catch you later, got to go out and buy a fucking Taurus.

Churadogs May 23, 2012 at 9:43 am

If this doesn't highlight human folly, nothing does. Pick some totally useless piece of land, invest it with some sort of "meaning," then kill 3,000 people "defending" the totally useless piece of land. They should have picked an acre in a place with a nicer climate. That way they could enjoy their folly, at least.

Geesh. There is no hope.

actor212 May 22, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Great air conditioning, but it doesn't get very cool.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 22, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Totally the opposite of Dumbya, innit?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 1:29 am

Priyanka Chopra, na? Also, there is most definitely music of great excellence. And food. Totapakhi. Taj by moonlight. Chai on the train.

India made me crazy in the short time I was there, and I have no real urge to go see Pakistan, which will probably make me equally crazy.

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