whore diamonds aren't forever

Newt Gingrich Is All Out Of Whore Diamonds

Pop the Cristal!We have had a lot of fun over the years pointing and laughing at Ol’ Yeller, Newt Gingrich. One of the things we have liked best is laughing about how very bad he is with money, because of how he is a common hustler who rips off everyone within a 26,000-mile radius. But today, Reuters points us to a tragic tale: not only is Newtypie’s campaign 80 trillion dollars in debt or whatever, but his personal fortune — his “empire” pulled in $110 million over the past decade — welp, that’s gone too and everyone is as bankrupt as Donald Trump. OH NOEZ!

The Gingrich Group bankruptcy proceedings spotlight the remarkable reversal of fortune of the half-dozen organizations associated with Gingrich. The presidential contender recently ended his campaign $4.8 million in debt. A political nonprofit he headed, American Solutions for Winning the Future, which raised $52 million between its founding in 2007 and its dissolution last July, also ended in debt.

That would buy so very many whore diamonds. Have these people no priorities? Let us read some more eye-goggling numbers please, Reuters, perhaps with a bonus aside about what a liar the entire right wing is about their stupid keening over NAZI SOSHULIST MANDATES!

Opened in 2003, the [Gingrich-founded Center for Health Transformation] pulled in $59 million over nine years from more than 300 companies, some of which paid as much as $200,000 in dues. Among its activities, the center and Gingrich helped push a mandate requiring everyone to carry health insurance. At the time, the position was beneficial to the center’s healthcare industry members, but Gingrich later repudiated it as a candidate.

Desmond said revenues fell from just under $7 million in 2010 to $4 million in 2011 and then to less than $300,000 in the first quarter of this year. Some $1.2 million in dues that had been expected earlier this year never materialized because those members also decided not to renew. By March the center was no longer able to pay the rent on its suite of offices in Atlanta and Washington.

Republicans are so good at fiscal “conservatism,” aren’t they? (No they are not.) Anyway, everybody in the world is suing everybody else in the world, and Newt Gingrich is only one creditor among many suing this Health Whoozit because he sold it to them and now he wants to get paid back first and stuff, but they are not paying him and Callista back and so any second now they will be eating hobo beans, sadface!

Court documents list 64 creditors in the Center for Health Transformation bankruptcy, including the state of Missouri for income taxes ($894) and two Atlanta hotels – the St. Regis ($46,000) and Ritz Carlton ($8,500).

Benjamin Carlsen, an Atlanta attorney representing Chain Bridge Bank ($283,000), asked Desmond about the hotel expenditures.

“We had quarterly member meetings … we tended to hold in very nice places,” she explained.

Because Capitalism, of course!

[Reuters]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

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98 comments

    1. Mumbletypeg

      Well, after all. Maureen Dowd said Newt is the "projanitor of the modern politics of personal destruction." He couldn't be trusted to pick up after his party's mess so of course he's left to clean up his own.

    2. Dudleydidwrong

      It is for certain for sure that any 5th grader could do the janitorial job better than The Newt. He'd always be tryin' to sneak into the ladies room to take a peek at what Callista hasn't shown him for months. Oh, the constant headaches!

      1. Barb

        Callista strikes me as one of those frosty chicks who keeps her tampons in the freezer.

    3. HippieEsq

      I just saw Callista playing her harp at the top of the Metro Center Escalators…

        1. prommie

          You pay too fucking much money for it, and borrow at too high a rate of interest, so that it can't support the debt. In other words, basic business incompetence.

      1. prommie

        Here's a fun Donald Trump fact; at one point, his first casino was so in the hole, he had to make a quarterly bond interest payment, didn't have the money, and the Casino Control Commission won't let a casino go on the street for money, so he was stuck. So he had his father go to the casino, walk up to the cage, and buy $4 million or something like that in chips, and then he just walked out the door with the chips. When someone takes chips from a casino, they are leaving cash behind, so that cash appears as part of the take for that night. Totally illegal, and how sad, his daddy had to come rescue his sorry smelly douche ass.

  1. mavenmaven

    Looking forward to the Gingrich Diamond Auction, or will he just use the local pawnshop?

  2. freakishlywrong

    Fuck the world, these noxious gasbags! We need an intervention, we've got to get our citizens out of this cult.

  3. smrtmnky

    as some wise men once sang:
    So what now? It's plain to see we're over,
    And I hate when things are over –
    When so much is left undone

  4. memzilla

    So I guess Newt's attorneys are advising him to go Chapter 11 first, before he gets his everybody-sees-this-one-coming obligatory Faux News talking head gig. This way, the creditors won't get their hands on any of that money.

  5. widestanceromance

    It's clear that Newt needs a transformational rethinking of debt, so he'll create a new policy center/thinktank to study it. Please send a donation to his fund bundlers so he can schedule the groundbreaking ceremony for the new trailer.

  6. freakishlywrong

    What's the over/under on how fast Callista bails on this human fartsac? Because money.

  7. owhatever

    This is the man the Foxie-Rush crowd called an economic genius. Is it too much to hope that he will not rise again? This hero who helped Reagan win the race colonize the outer moons of Dune, and who told Tom Jefferson what the Lord wanted in the Constitution? We will never see him again? Yea?

  8. Lascauxcaveman

    I knew something good would come from that interminable Republican primary season.
    : )

  9. Hera Sent Me

    Newt demands everybody else exercise self-discipline, but he never does. Irresponsible in politics, in his personal affairs and with (other people's) money.

    I didn't know hypocrisy is fattening.

  10. MissTaken

    I assume one of the 64 creditors is Callista's hairstyler, too. Shellac ain't cheap!

  11. BaldarTFlagass

    Yo Newt, I'll give ya 35 bucks a week to service the pool, and 80 bucks every two weeks to cut the grass (including the weed-eater detail work). $125 to the wifey to clean house every two weeks. Bootstraps!!!

  12. Exhausted66

    OT My favorite is Newt advising Obama to lay off the Bain angle because it didn't work for him. Oh, okay – because the Rethugs telling you to stop bitching about "capitalism" is the same as it "not working."

    1. George Spelvin

      You know, in most cases, I tend to sympathize with the sucker who gets grifted, but in this case — as you say — there really was enough easily available advance evidence.

  13. V572 Is this him?

    Okay, here's hoping Newt lives in a state where creditors can go after his house, which if it's Virginia yes, his creditors can SKULLFUCK NEWT'S MORTGAGE and turn him out on the street.

    1. Skullfry Buddha

      Isn't he the dude that doesn't know how many homes he owns? Oh wait, that's Walnuts.

  14. LastGasp

    Well I guess this is the end for Newt and his outrageous scams. Oh wait, that's what we all said last time…

  15. bureaucrap

    He could raise money by selling his blubber. There's enough there to power Minneapolis for a year.

    1. NellCote71

      Don't think there is much of a market for her, even on the Home Shopping Channel.

      1. Veritas78

        I dunno — stick her head in a bucket of sand, stuff some gladiolas down her twat, and you have a dramatic objet d'art. Works best in a foyer, though.

  16. el_donaldo

    What's a hustler to do when the hustle's over? Open another phony non-profit and turn on another money faucet.

  17. radio-of-owls

    "I find it extraordinary that I, a transformational figure who has been talking about saving civilization since August of 1958, have to bum quarters off people in the subway station."

  18. coolhandnuke

    When they repossess his two toilets we can can all smile, have a cocktail and laugh at this floater finally drifting out to sea.

  19. Dudleydidwrong

    Wonder if Liberty University needs an adjunct professor of distorted history? All the tenured track history positions at the University of West Georgia are filled.

  20. chicken_thief

    I wouldn't start getting all teary eyed for the Gingriches just yet. The man has various money making activities, so a few go bankrupt? No big deal. Just start over with a new scam and keep on grifting.

    It ain't like the chubby fuck is going to have to get a job or anything.

  21. fartknocker

    Grifters just keep on grifting. If he looses his house in GA, I understand Bristol Palin has a lovely 3-2 house/meth lab in beautiful Maricopa, Arizona for rent.

  22. Antispandex

    When I see him in line at the food bank, I'll believe he has a real problem. Some how, I just have to think he's going to come out of this OK…after all, he's the Newt!

  23. prommie

    Just more proof of what a failure Obamanomics has been. How many more small businesses have to fail before people admit Obama is destroying the economy?

  24. Isyaignert

    Gnewt will get a gig on Fux News – it's where all the wanna-bes and has-beens end up.

  25. Terry

    "welp, that’s gone too and everyone is as bankrupt as Donald Trump. OH NOEZ!"

    Well, the difference between Gingrich and Trump is that Trump can make money, while Gringrich usually just begs for it. Of course, Trump brings in money in the most tacky ways possible, but even a reality show is more honorable than Newtie's day to day activities.

  26. josephbrill

    Newt, the person, is still rich from selling his books at full retail price to his campaign, right?

  27. DahBoner

    Are you better off today or when Newt put out his failed Contact with America?

    Oh wait!

    President Blowjob was in charge back then…

  28. OneYieldRegular

    Declaring bankruptcy is so nanny state. Fiscal conservatives must band together to protest this shameful sense of entitlement and lack of personal accountability.

  29. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I can't believe that Newt sought the Socialist, Government protection of bankruptcy. Whatever happened to personal responsibility.

  30. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Newt is probably trying to get Callista to smoke so she can develop cancer and he can dump her for a nice rich lady.

  31. fuflans

    it would be ineffably pleasing if the gingrich's had to resort to some form of government assistance.

  32. glamourdammerung

    I see Gingrich learned from Trump how to use bankruptcy to keep ones own money while not paying off any of the folks that they owe money to.

  33. tessiee

    Newt's 122-year-old mother, when reached on the telephone machine, had the following comment:
    "Why, that improvident lackwit!"

  34. ttommyunger

    I look forward to seeing him sandwiched between Fred Thompson and Pat Boone hawking reverse mortgage scams on late night cable.

Comments are closed.