Rand bless America!President Yo Mama has done another terrible thing, Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller cannot even BELIEVE IT! He went to Joplin, Missouri, the town that was creamed a year ago by a super tornado caused by the totally stable climate, and he gave the high school’s commencement address and said a bunch of terrible, partisan SOCIALISM like that in a crisis people should take care of each other and not be greedy! What Bible is HE reading? The MUSLIM ONE? Let Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller nourish your rage in its wonderful “Obama Pushes Progressive ‘Community’ Ideology At Mo. High School Commencement”! “Community”? At last Nobama, have you NO SHAME?

President Barack Obama’s high school commencement speech in the tornado-stricken town of Joplin, Mo., pushed a sharply ideological message and included partisan jabs and a call for military-style community action during crises.

“You are from America. No matter how tough times get, you will be tougher,” he told the students and parents May 22. “The road has been hard. The day has been long. But we have tomorrow, so we march. We march together,” he said on the first anniversary of the deadly tornado strike.

How dare he, inpeach, et cetera. And furthermore?

The military imagery was entwined with stump-speech language that repeatedly contrasted the president’s progressive ideology of organized acton against what he caricatured as the spiteful and selfish alternative of individualism.

“As you begin the next stage in your journey, you will encounter greed and selfishness; ignorance and cruelty. … You will meet people who try to build themselves up by tearing others down; who believe looking after others is only for suckers,” he said.

“My deepest hope for all of you … [is that] you can serve as a reminder that we’re not meant to walk this road alone; that we’re not expected to face down adversity by ourselves,” he told his audience. “We’re stronger together than we are on our own.”

The “stronger together” phrase is the main slogan used by Obama’s campaign to rally young and first-time voters.

Tell us more Daily Caller before we KERPLUNK WE FAINTED!

The president did not try to explain why the town’s inhabitants wanted to cooperate, or why they trusted each other to cooperate, and he did not suggest that self-interest played a role in the rebuilding.

It is true, President Fidel Mao cited God instead of Ayn Rand. Doesn’t he understand that when more than 160 people are killed in your town, there’s no phony-baloney sense of altruism in your heart, you’re just all nah kid, can’t help you look for your dead mom, because it does not serve my self interest. FACT. That is just how AMERICA WORKS.

This might be the Daily Caller’s masterpiece. [DailyCaller]

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  • Barb

    A tornado could hit the Fox News studios and do $200,000.00 worth of improvements.

    • Callyson

      Meh, Mitt Romney doesn't get out of bed for less than #$300K…

      • CthuNHu

        …thus making him the reverse of Callista.

  • Baconzgood

    Tornados are people too my friend.

    • Callyson

      I hear the Tornado IPO was da bomb…

      • bagofmice

        It certainly was a whirlwind.

  • bureaucrap

    Rather than allow the tornado survivors to fight over the few remaining cans of creamed corn and antiseptic, in accordance with God's plan, the communists stepped in and brought food and medicine. American Jesus is ANGRY!!!! He shall SMITE those who act with charity and compassion. — so it is written in the book of Carlson.

    • Terry

      Tucker should have called this article his Sermon on the Mount.

  • Serolf_Divad

    Prident Yomama? When did Barack take up the cello?

    • Does he do duets with Boner who plays the infamous orange cello?

      • bagofmice

        One would think the bow would lead to chafing.

  • edgydrifter

    The free-market solution is a bunch of methed-up crackers jamming the barrels of their deer rifles into the rubble of a devastated neighborhood, shouting "HOW MUCH IS YER LIFE WORTH TO YA?!?"

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "As you begin the next stage in your journey, you will encounter greed and selfishness; ignorance and cruelty. … You will meet people who try to build themselves up by tearing others down; who believe looking after others is only for suckers,” he said.

    Is the Republican National Convention being moved from Tampa to Joplin?

  • Holy fucking shit. So a call for people to look after each other, instead of waiting for government to do it for them, is not a call to community, but to Communism?

    So I guess the ideal American for the Daily Caller is a hermit living in a cave with just a gun, a fire and his bitch to keep him warm and God help him if he encounters an obstacle he can't overcome on his own.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      It's just a game with the Rightard pundits. Take any innocuous statement by Obama or some other Dem, and try to twist it around to make it sound like the voices of Hitler, Stalin and Satan singing in a wretched 3-part harmony.

      For instance, if Obama declares "Puppies are cute…"


      • CommieLibunatic

        Remember, Fox News got on O'Dawg's case once because he used a heavy-duty paperclip to bind a jobs bill last year. A GODDAMNED PAPERCLIP and they were upset over him being cheap or whatever. And you can bet your bottom Amero that they'd get on his case if he did anything fancier!

        Also, too, remember that this is the same camp that was unimpressed with Osama Bin Laden getting turned into fish food on Obama's watch. There is, purely and simply, no pleasing them.

        It's enough to make a person want to break certain rules of etiquette pertaining to wishing ill on others.

        • CthuNHu

          Meh, getting Osama was no big deal. Any president woulda done it.

          (Offer void on presidents named Bush. Any attempts to get Osama by presidents named Clinton constitute treason.)

        • bagofmice

          You have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, but toss in a paperclip and the deal is off.

      • the_onceler

        And yummy…

  • dijetlo

    Why must he ohpress us wif his community organizer, Nigeria, Mau-Mau, Maoist soshulisms? Hengh?
    Also, too, Tucker Carlson said Mo….hehe…hehehe…

  • This love they neighbor stuff is just the gayest thing I've ever heard.

    • I dunno, she's pretty hot especially in the Daisy Dukes when she's warshing the car….

      • PuckStopsHere

        I know, right? I still haven't gotten over FakaktaSouth's little driveway performance of last week and I wasn't even there to see it. (Except in my mind's eye. Oooooh, mind's eye…)

        • That was PRECISELY the image I was fapping to raising thinking of.

          • FakaktaSouth

            And now I love you. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.

  • noodlesalad

    "Me the Person!" not "We the People!" Those damn commie founders.

  • What Tucker doesn't get is that the invisible hand of Thermodynamics trumps the invisible hand of the free market every fucking time.

    And if the ancestors of humanity followed the route of fanatical individualism then we'd be part of the fossil record that some of Tucker's followers deny exists.

    • Well, they ARE Neaderthals, so the fossil record is rather against them.

  • he did not suggest that self-interest played a role in the rebuilding.

    Uhhhhhhhhhh, maybe cuz thats what we might call a "self-evident truth"?

    You know, it gets mighty cold on the plains in the wintertime, you betcha!

    • noodlesalad

      Not true! As Barbara Bush explained to the victims of Hurricane Katrina, living in squalid shelters is kinda fun. It's not readily apparent to these genteel folk that regular people might prefer having their own homes.

      • "Think of it as camping out, like normal folks"

  • nounverb911

    Tucker Carlson and his bow tie need to live inside a tornado for a while.

    • jjdaddyo

      Do we think that he is making enough money off herbal penis enhancer ads on the Daily Caller site that he no longer has to moonlight as a Union Station public toilet rent-boy?

  • The president did not try to explain why the town’s inhabitants wanted to cooperate, or why they trusted each other to cooperate

    Daily Caller readers must have everything explained to them in very simple language so the dipwads who write think that is how everything should be done.

  • Wonderthing

    Outa my way, you tornado victims, there's money to be made from your hardship. How dare you be so stupid as to be in the path of a tornado? Ha! Next you'll be wanting "food" because you're "hungry", "health care" because you're "sick" and a "job" because you're "out of work". I cannot stand people who are unlucky enough to have been born.

  • ElPinche

    "This might be the Daily Caller’s masterpiece."

    Did you get a load of the comments section? It's like a fine McNaughton complete with a white Jesus holding a constitution.

    • not that Radio

      This one is rich:

      JMT Publications XXXXX

      Obama, however, overlooked the fact that the federal government (FEMA) had very little to do with rebuilding Joplin. Obama was noticeably absent after the tornado (he must hate white people, right???) Joplin's success was due to the hard work of its citizens and help and resources donated by volunteers, not any government handouts. Hopefully these teens will take that away from their experience, rather than hanging on the vapid blathering of The One.

      It was certainly NOBAMA, because he hates white people, and not Eric Cantor, who is a pandering Randian stooge Teapartier, who denied federal assistance to Joplin.

      • ElPinche

        BUT you forget that NOBAMA's Marxist powers have a stranglehold over Cantor and our ʇuǝɯuɹǝʌoפ.

      • radio-of-owls

        Pandering Randian stooge Teapartier or filthyweasel?

        • not that Radio


          • radio-of-owls

            Google Translate: English-Cajun

            D'OH! :: D'EAUX!

          • doloras

            "Of Waters"? What does John Waters have to do with this, or don't I want to know?

          • radio-of-owls

            No, no, it's perfectly innocent.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Democrat: C'mon, let me help you get away from that bear.

    Republican: I don't have to run faster than the bear, I just have to run faster than you.

  • James Michael Curley

    Another Tucker "It didn't talk about me therefore it is evil." Carlson analysis.

  • Skullfry Buddha

    Jesus Jumped Up Christ…commencement speeches…footballs. This shit is never going to end, is it? And by never, I mean never. 20 years after Barry's second term these idiots will still be pouring over pictures of the prez throwing footballs through copies of his birth certificate.

  • Worst of all is all the money we spend on the Weather Service. First of all, who needs it, when we have the PRIVATE SECTOR and Al Roker.

    And second, what right does the government have to intervene when the Lord sends his whiry wind-dozers to do righteous urban renewal on those trailer parks???

  • it's not about community v. self-interest. It's about slithering out of a womb belonging to a frozen dinner heiress.

  • mavenmaven

    Neil Munro apparently gets paid by big corporations to indoctrinate people into suckers so that the rich can manipulate them more easily.
    And you should have posted his picture here, he looks exactly as you'd imagine a tool would look.

    • ElPinche

      Neil's list of DailyCaller posts looks like a poop splattered restroom stall.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Did he stop by and do some campaigning with the Spanish 101 study group, too?

  • friendlyskies

    When will they start lobbying to change the pinko socialist "E pluribus unum" to something more appropriate for teabagger America, perhaps "Sulum vir pro sui"? ("Every man for himself," according to one of those online translation things.)

    • Arken

      I don't think anything in Latin would be considered appropriate by teabaggers. It's one of those Euro fag languages after all.

    • Possedi mea, Jack!

    • AbandonHope

      Too learned for teabaggers. I vote for "Fuck All Y'All".

      • Dudleydidwrong


  • SorosBot

    And here I was hoping Obama's push for "Progressive ‘Community’ Ideology" would be calling for attacks on Sony for firing Dan Harmon.

  • BlueStateLibel

    You know who else likes to cooperate? The military! What a bunch of commies.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Is it just me, or are the right wing nutz showing the sweaty brow of total desperation?

    I don't want to get over confident here, but if this is the best they got they don't got much.

    • TheMightyHaltor

      You might be onto something. They've recently considered dragging Rev. Wright back out again. And it didn't even work in 2008.

    • And it seems that many former Reeps are running as "Independents" in the upcoming elections. Could it be that they can't stomach the baggers, racists, (same thing?), religious extremists, homophobes, sexists, etc. in the GOP?
      Talk about sweaty brows!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I'd like to hear what ole Tucker would have to say if his townhouse was taken down to the foundation by a Fujita scale F5 tornado. "I've got this, no problem."

  • el_donaldo

    Beautiful. Daily Caller, you keep normalizing this self-interest and individualism as the only antidote to progressive, liberal ideologies until election day comes and your readers all as a single unit think, "Vote? Civic duty? Balls. What's in it for me? I'll pass."

    • Say-y-y-y-y….you have a point! Why should anyone vote? After all, it's the collective number of votes that determine who wins!

      Collective! WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!

  • Are those FOX-types lobotomized when they walk in the doors there?

  • Arken

    "a call for military-style community action during crises."

    When everyone knows that the military style is supposed to be for the police to stop the community action.

  • SorosBot

    So I guess, according to Tucker, Obama should have just told all the hurricane victims to go and rebuild their houses by themselves; and to anyone who couldn't, well, tough shit, you're not good enough and so don't deserve a house.

  • Mahousu

    If greed, selfishness, ignorance and cruelty are wrong, Neil Munro doesn't want to be right.

  • Ruhe

    "… and he did not suggest that self-interest played a role in the rebuilding."

    Rand's enlightened self-interest: In so far as I need you and can't yet think of a way to get along without you I will help you…until I do find a way to get along without you, then it's fuck-off to you.

    Socratic enlightened self-interest: While it does serve my immediate, selfish needs sometimes to help you I also know that by helping you when you need it I'm helping the Polis, the city, and that's a good thing in itself and a good that I have a personal interest in. Living in a community rather than alone is more interesting, more fun, even joyful.

    Ultimately all the fuss made about self-interest versus altruism made by dorks like Carlson comes down to their desire to earn your thanks for whatever meager help they offer while you simultaneously and as a matter of patriotism acknowledge their right to hold you in contempt for needing help.

  • iburl

    "The president did not try to explain why the town’s inhabitants wanted to cooperate, or why they trusted each other to cooperate."

    Also the president did not try to explain why people should not push old ladies under the bus, roll naked in broken glass, or make mexican food illegal. He also failed to explain why your children will forever hate you for naming them "Lillie, Hopie, Dorothy, and Buckley."

  • mavenmaven

    Found this link on the Daily Caller site. Oh, hahahaha

    • Ruhe

      Are there really still men out there who are interested in such a "gift"? I don't mean Lolo specifically. If you're into athletic women she's definitely a hotty. But the virginity thing…who cares. "Here, sweety, I saved this for you." "Oh, really, well gosh, thanks…I guess."

  • Texan_Bulldog

    "Why Didn’t Obama Let Invisible Hand Of Free Market Protect Joplin From Deadly Tornado?" Because he is blah and he hates America–just like his father Rev. Wright & white uncle Bill Ayers…duh.

  • PuckStopsHere

    And not a word of support for the looters, the people who were helping best by helping themselves–just as it says in The Bible!

  • fuflans

    pearl clutching, dropped fans, the vapours….

    every day the republican party becomes more like scarlett o'hara.

    • Tara libel !!!111!!!11!!11

  • Chichikovovich

    If those kids follow Obama's advice, then the next time the city is wiped out, none of them will think to make a fortune selling adulterated penicillin and past-date insulin.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      "Victims? Don't be melodramatic. Look down there. Tell me. Would you really feel any pity if one of those dots stopped moving forever? If I offered you twenty thousand pounds for every dot that stopped, would you really, old man, tell me to keep my money, or would you calculate how many dots you could afford to spare? Free of income tax, old man. Free of income tax – the only way you can save money nowadays."
      Harry Lime was an obvious Republican.

      • Blueb4sunrise

        THe Third Blah.

      • Chichikovovich

        Contact! I thought the adulterated penicillin reference might be too obscure, but I was a fool to worry. This is Wonkette.

      • MoeDeLawn

        And yet he's named after a (furry) fruit. Log Cabin Repub maybe?

  • hagajim

    When is Kim Jong Obama going to stop trying to rally the troops?

  • johnnymeatworth

    Everybody knows they should all practice yelling at each other at a seventh grade level so they can run for Congress instead….

  • elviouslyqueer

    Why do I get the feeling that after Neil Munro finishes "writing" his little Daily Caller diatribes, he immediately masturbates to the Mandingo poster he has hanging from his ceiling?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    So I guess the Daily Caller guy would have been much more impressed if the prez had got up at the lectern and said, "Toughen up, buttercup."

    • vodkamuppet

      "Walk it off, ya fuckin Mary"

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Worse than Truman!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • vodkamuppet

    Conservatives really don't feel empathy, do they? I've seen studies and thought they were dubious but it must be true. How do you not care if your neighbor gets blown away in a tornado, or any disaster for that matter. Aren't strong family's and neighborhoods the supposed bedrock of these people's espoused beliefs? They're nihilists, plain and simple.

    • I've often wondered how these people sleep at night.

  • not that Radio

    Obama's too military! Obama's not military enough!

  • Tucker is another of the degreeless consertard punditz. Also an academically-challenged fellow at Cato. I know it is academic elitism, but how the hell does someone 43 sans a bachelors get to be a fellow at a supposed think tank? Oh, wait, I forgot, thinking is fucking elitist too. Sorry.

  • vodkamuppet

    More stories about white trash girls wearing confederate battle flags as a mini skirt to the homecoming dance please. My sense of humor is just about dead.

  • Aridzona

    At least he didn't invoke the ghost of Janis to look over Joplin in the future.

  • JustPixelz

    Without going to the trouble of checking, I'll bet Tucker Carlson was one of the cheerleaders for nation building in Iraq and Afghanistan. But his fellow citizens, overwhelmed by economic and natural storms, surrounded by the wealth of the most prosperous nation on earth, are left to fend for themselves.

  • Rebecca, you're really starting to hit your stride. You go! Keep this up and I'll ignore that you're switchin the buttons for the clickings and sharings and trying to make our low-rent-but-charmingly-scrappy-war-blog into some relevant and aesthetically pleasing Tool of the Establishment. Yes, I will be bought with your excellent stream of consciousness wonder. Question: Do I need to wear a tie to read Wonkette now? Cuz I am. Do I also need to wear other pieces of attire? Cuz that's a dealbreaker.

  • proudgrampa

    I wish these fuckers would just admit that they are racists. A WHITE president could say this stuff until the cows come home.

    And FUCK Tucker Carlson. Slimeball.

  • Dildeaux

    "I refudiate the tornadoes I can see from my kitchen window. All of them!"

  • No one at The Daily Caller knows the name of anyone else who works for The Daily Caller to prevent even a hint of a concept of an idea of a notion of collectivism.

  • Slim_Pickins

    I have looked in several editions of The Bible and haven't found "The Book of Atlas Shrugged" in any of them, unless Shrugged is just a very, very bad translation of Revelations.

  • mormos

    fucking socialists, telling me how to march.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    "President Barack Obama’s high school commencement speech in the tornado-stricken town of Joplin, Mo., pushed a sharply ideological message and included partisan jabs and a call for military-style community action during crises."

    Not only has the Daily Caller exposed Obama's socialist agenda, they've revealed that every single president in our history was also a socialist. What a scoop!

  • sullivanst

    Why has the Daily Callgirl not yet gone the way of Crossfire?


  • Soylent Green

    Time to flash mob their forum section.

  • glamourdammerung

    It really seems to have hurt the Republican's fragile widdle feelings that President Obama put someone competent in charge of FEMA and they handled this situation well even with Cantor and some other Republicans trying to extort American citizens over disaster recovery.

  • ttommyunger

    Tucker Carlson: a slightly less douchey Ralph Reed.

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