frauds

Nice Try, Obama, But Your Doctored Football Photo Is America’s No. 1 News Story

foosball is the debbil!

Sorry, “White House photographer,” but the 101st Keyboard Brigade has figured out your little scam! It has something to do with the superscript ‘th,’ we are sure! Or … pixels? Yes, pixels. Your mom has taken a class in Detecting Internet Forgeries from the Dan Rather Truth Squad, and she was very excited to find such skullduggery — straight from the top! — on her very first try! Good job, Your Mom! Hugs and kisses!

I’m not one for conspiracy theories. I prefer to base my opinions on demonstration fact that I can point to. However, after looking at an extremely odd photo of President Obama “throwing” a football, I have my doubts that this photo is real.

As do we all! And we didn’t even have to look!

However, on closer inspection, some very odd things pop up. If you go to the linked picture, in which the photo is notably larger, peculiar things become obvious. In particular, the President’s enlarged eyes in the photo and the pixels that surround his head and arms, but are not present in any other part of the picture. Zoomed in, this is what it looks like:

But we see pixels around his tie too? Oh never mind it is more important to blah blah blah (heh) about why are President Ladysmith Black Mambazo’s eyes so big and bulgy? Also, he does not throw a football the same way he throws a baseball, Q.E.DUH!

On top of it all, this throwing motion does not match Mr. Obama’s previous photo ops. Compare the new picture’s motion with this one of Mr. Obama throwing a baseball (click for better resolution):

You should notice several things right off the bat. The picture on the left is less heavily pixelated. More importantly, however, with the picture on the left, Mr. Obama’s left arm has decidedly more bend in it, his right arm is lowered, and his shoulders are more squared.

So, is this picture doctored? It’s up to you to decide. However, the fact that the White House may have altered a picture of the President throwing a football speaks to how despereate they are to perfectly manicure his public image.

That is exactly what we have been saying all along! It’s not a matter of jpeg compression or other supposed “facts,” like the uncompressed version up top that we stole from LittleGreenFootballs, it is that the FACT that some people think they “may” have altered it is all the proof you need of the White House’s “despereation”! It is called Logic, and “Aurelius” at PunditPress is full of it! [PunditPress/LittleGreenFootballs]

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About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

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201 comments

    1. Terry

      He could publicly admit that all their conspiracies are true, then resign in shame. Beyond that, no.

      1. Jus_Wonderin

        I know I couldn't take all these negatives without going postal and, at my next press conference, just go cold bold by flashing the double birds and saying "Fuck this shit. I am moving my family out of this suck ass country! Suck my big cock!"

        1. Lascauxcaveman

          I think he's enough of a big boy to realize that small-minded people have to have their small amusements, and yes, it's a shame that there are so many of them out there, but most people are reasonably bright and decent, and that's how he got into office in the first place and is likely to stay there after November's results.

    2. widestanceromance

      Even if he spontaneously resigned the presidency, their collective wet dream, he'd be attacked for leaving pens uncapped on the Oval Office desk.

      1. Jus_Wonderin

        After his second term he will announce that "Yes. I am the Messiah. And you treated me like crap. Go to Hell".

        1. widestanceromance

          Is that when he peels off the human head mask and lets his dragon wings unfold?

          1. Fare la Volpe

            They perfected the skin suits in the later series. Just check to see if he farts a lot.

        2. OhNoGuy

          Go to Hell. Go straight to Hell. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars.
          Monopoly explains so much.

    3. Callyson

      I was going to say "get impeached," but the wingnuts would find a way to construct a conspiracy out of that too. Something along the lines of how he and Osama bin Laden colluded to keep him in office just long enough to kill off OBL, thus denying the Republicans the ability to take credit for it…

      …Christ, this crap I am typing seems plausible enough, which is frightening…

    4. tessiee

      No; no, he cannot.
      Even if he apologized for everything and resigned as President, they would still have gigantic bugs up their collective asses that he was ever President to begin with, or that he did anything, ever.
      Most of us have at least one family member, neighbor, or co-worker (hopefully not the one in charge of signing your paycheck) like this. After a few halfhearted tries at reasoning with and/or pacifying them, you eventually realize that the only way to make them happy is to take them out back and shoot them through the head.

  1. Negropolis

    File this under: "'Cause it'd be irresponsible not to speculate" and call it a day.

      1. bikerlaureate

        Libel would be a step up from this corrosive mindset. Maybe we get the pundits we deserve…

  2. BaldarTFlagass

    At least he didn't pretend to land an S-3 Viking on an aircraft carrier. You don't need a flight suit to be a passenger in a military plane.

    1. fitley

      The football throwing isn't the issue with photoshopping. Look how they removed the codpiece he was wearing. Supposedly it was so big everybody would have started calling Bush's flight suit codpiece "Stubby".

    1. fitley

      There's mustard on that football. Oh wait…. that was a different conspiracy / crisis.

  3. noodlesalad

    Wingers aren't convinced Obama can throw a football. Most of America isn't convinced Romney can understand humans. I'll call it a draw.

      1. actor212

        Well, in fairness, the Jets pay off the rest of the league to look better than they are. How else do you explain Mark Sanchez?

    1. Biff

      In Kenyan football (soccer) you aren't allowed to touch the ball with your hands. That's why he's so awkward.

  4. Barb

    “Look, let me put it to you this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. There, I said it.”

    Rush Limbaugh-a man who seems to have serious issues with black athletes.

    1. Negropolis

      Adding…

      "I think the media has been very desirous that a black president do well."

    2. chicken_thief

      Rush, a true man of the streets, knows some serious shit about the Bloods and Crips. For realz. Too. Also.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        Would have been fun if he managed to buy the St. Louis Rams (as he tried to do) and then convert it into an all-white, or even majority-white team. It'd make them an even better doormat for the NFC West.

  5. Negropolis

    I'm just a bit surprised they didn't take the "Of course the black dude is playing football, now, too." route. God only knows we never heard the end of the basketball criticism.

    1. Serolf_Divad

      These are the three phases of wingnut grief:

      1) Denial: There's simply no way that's a real photo of Obama throwing a football

      2) Cognitive dissonance: OK, maybe the photo is real, but it's obviously very poorly staged

      3) Acceptance: Well, of course he looks good throwing the Football… he's a neeeeegro, it's genetic with those people.

      1. Negropolis

        I can't tell you how many times I've heard some ignorant person earnestly relay that "they have an extra tendon in their foot/leg."

        1. Fare la Volpe

          I heard a guy call in on the radio to explain that black people can't swim because their bones are denser than white people's.

          It is literally like they conceive of "negroes" as a different species.

          1. kissawookiee

            One of the many low points in my archaeology career came whilst teaching an intro class at Illinois-Chicago, when two students walked up after a lecture and earnestly informed me that you can absolutely determine race by looking at skeletons. Because black people's hand and finger bones must be curved or they wouldn't do all that jive walkin'.

          2. Fare la Volpe

            Wait…they really believed black people…have curved bones? That's a stereotype I didn't even know you could stereotype someone for! For fuck's sake. Did they offer some evidence for their insanity? What did you say? How low were their marks on their final exam?

            This has broken my brain and I must know more.

          3. kissawookiee

            One of them apparently noticed my da fuck? face and quickly offered evidence by way of demonstrating HOW THEY ALL WALK, which was, of course, something straight out of Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids.

            Straight Cs.

        2. An_Outhouse

          There's a reason Hendrix was such an amazing guitar player – ginormous hands. Of course everyone knows people with huge dicks have large hands too, and black guys… well, you know.

          1. tessiee

            Hendrix did have ginormous hands, as did that keyboard player in that shitty group that was either Yes or Emerson, Lake, and Palmer (Rick Wakeman?) — I remember seeing a picture of him at the keyboard, and his hands pretty much covered the entire keyboard. I think musicians, doctors, and stranglers tend to pre-select for big hands.

          2. doloras

            I'm pretty sure there was no-one called Wakeman in Emerson Lake and Palmer. But while we're on the subject of Yes, their bass player Chris Squire really does have ginormous hands. I once smoked a doob with him is how I know.

  6. Terry

    So, basically, this internet detective is sitting at home collecting checks (either disability or retirement). He spends the hours scouring pixels in harmless photos for a reason, any reason, to become outraged or suspicious so that he can post something on the internet and perhaps attract some attention to his sorry self.

    1. V572 Is this him?

      The scammer trifecta is to collect workmans comp, unemployment and disability at once. Had an employee work that on me once. Had to admire his gall.

  7. mrpuma2u

    AUUUGH! NOBAMAZ FOOTBALLZ FASLE PIKSHERS! HE THROES WITH HIZ SOSHULIS LEFT HAND! WHY DOES HE HATE UH-MERRKA!?!?!?!?!?

  8. wondering where i am

    I am afraid I do not understand this latest outrage Obama has committed. So I went over to Free Republic, where I was sure they would be foaming at the mouth over it. But . . .

    Nothing. Well, not nothing. You have "articles" about Muslim and Asian sex gangs, a woman fired by Orthodox Jews for not taping her breasts down (is this a religious custom I don't know about?), a gay judge and guns, guns, guns.

    If Obama makes a mistake and no right wing blogs post about it, does it make a sound?

    1. actor212

      a woman fired by Orthodox Jews for not taping her breasts down (is this a religious custom I don't know about?)

      To boot, they make lingerie at the company.

  9. Biff

    'Shooped, obvs. My football and baseball throwing stances are EXACTLY THE SAME, INTERCHANGEABLE MOTIONS!

    1. BerkeleyBear

      So you too throw like a 5 year old whose daddy never done had a catch with him and showed him how its done?

    2. George Spelvin

      Yeah, to me that was even better than not understanding how zooming in on a compressed image that you yourself compressed would show compression artifacts:

      "Aurelius" all but explicitly admits that he or she has never thrown either a baseball or a football in his or her life.

  10. actor212

    The picture on the left is less heavily pixelated. More importantly, however, with the picture on the left, Mr. Obama’s left arm has decidedly more bend in it, his right arm is lowered, and his shoulders are more squared.

    ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????

    Look, in the baseball photo, HIS ARM IS NOT MOVING YET! In the football photo, it's clearly moving already.

    As to the pixelation around his head, pixelation of the nature that this jackass has raised WOULD BE EVIDENT EVEN WITHOUT ZOOMING IN!

    Look at the enlarged image. The pixelation is a significant percentage of the entire face. The pixelation is probably an artifact of republishing the photo by the news outlet (copying a copy, as it were) and probably due to the fact that the photo is clearly not as well lit as the baseball photo, creating what we photographers call "noise"

    Sort of like this asshat, all it does is create fuzziness and….wait for it….pixelation.

    Too, ENLARGING A PHOTO DOES NOT CREATE MORE PIXELS! It just creates bigger ones which creates….wait for it…pixelation!

    Oh, and as a former pitcher AND quarterback, don't get me started on the fact that throwing a big oblong ball requires a completely different motion than throwing a round ball you can grasp your fingers completely around! It's like the difference between masturbation and feeding your lover strawberries.

          1. actor212

            Curious EXIF info. The photo says it was created at 11:30, but it seems unlikely they'd turn the lights on just so the Prez could chuck a few balls around. But the metadata date indicates Souza worked on it until 4AM, so I guess they must have.

          2. DerrickWildcat

            I suppose it was taken at 10:30 p.m. I'm thinking the time on his camera is set for EST (D.C.) and this shot was taken in Chicago which is CST. So it's an hour off.

          3. BerkeleyBear

            I don't think they did anything just so Obama could toss. But if you look the field was painted with a NATO summit logo and the scoreboard was running a ticker about the various countries participating, so it was probably one of those tightly scripted "casual" events that occur at stuff like this after working hours. During or after which the O took the chance to do what any God fearing American would do given the opportunity and threw a regulation NFL football on the damp grass of an NFL stadium while mentally imagining he was winning the Super Bowl.

    1. chicken_thief

      Huh? There's a difference between masturbation and feeding my lover strawberries?!

    2. CZL

      Hey hey hey. Playing sports is for fags who work out and wear tight pants. REAL MEN just watch them on tv.

    1. tessiee

      Descartes? That eleeetist furriner who once started a sentence with, "I think…"?

  11. WunkRocker

    While they are covering this non-story he should slip in a bunch of executive orders. Like 1000 of them. And to confuse them he should also release a bunch of shoppd pictures of him with Forest Gump, LBJ, Mick Jagger, JoeSam the Wurzelbacher, Lady Gaga, and Count Chocula all have tea naked and Nailin' Palin (Michael, not Lou Sarah).

  12. BaldarTFlagass

    His eyes are all wide and bugged out because he's about to get sacked by Rob Ninkovich.

  13. Not_So_Much

    Even if it's real, can we at least say he throws like a girl? A Kenyan socialist girl?

  14. metamarcisf

    Mel Kiper, Jr.: This guy will be a franchise quarterback for the next decade. A high first round pick for sure.

  15. Ruhe

    I think what the two photos clearly demonstrate is that the dude with the big brain and smooth voice is also something of a natural athlete. His throwing motion in each instance looks fundamentally sound for the ball in hand. The detective work here seems to be based on the flawed assumption that your throwing motion will look the same regardless of what you're throwing…oh wait…I guess if you "throw like a girl" that assumption would seem valid.

    1. actor212

      His football grip is even spot on: pinky and ring fingers straddling the laces, cleft between thumb and forefinger supporting the tail end of the ball. Put a tire up. I bet he'd throw through it no problem

      1. Terry

        This is what really annoys the tinfoil brigade. Obama's smart. He's charming, good with kids, can sing reasonably well, and doesn't embarrass himself when handed a football, basketball, or baseball. Ok, well, all that and the fact that he's black and in the Oval Office.

        1. actor212

          Well, he does bounce the first pitch each season, but in fairness, he throws from the rubber where most Presidents don't even climb the mound.

        2. George Spelvin

          You'd think they'd be content with the fact that he can't bowl for shit. Of course, most of them can't either.

    1. el_donaldo

      Are you man or machine?!? I'll only hit 1,000 on this particular commenting system tomorrow – unless I find real work to do, in which case, Thursday.

    2. Biff

      Grats. I'd much prefer my tax $$$ spent on this pursuit than troops lobbing rounds at an unknown and undeclared "enemy", any day.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        "Blacks make better receivers than quarterbacks."
        "Stop speaking right now, Conrad."
        "Warren Moon will kick any ofay quarterback's ass."
        "The Oilers have gone nowhere behind Warren Moon."
        "Randall Cunningham."
        "Don't get down in the mud with him, Chief."
        "The Eagles will never get to the Superbowl with Cunningham."
        "Doug Williams took the Redskins to the Superbowl and won, okay?"
        "We can all agree there are many excellent black quarterbacks."

  16. Nesnora

    Pixelation doth not make a photo photoshopped. As a professional photoshopping photoshopper, I call this photoshit (official industry phototerm).

    If anything it's just a bad photo because his arm looks creepily foreshortened at that angle.

  17. HobbesEvilTwin

    Wow, I'm only mildly employed and even I don't have time for that kind of useless speculation. Please tell me that Mr. Pundit Press doesn't get paid for that "work".

  18. Serolf_Divad

    It’s not a matter of jpeg compression or…

    What is the "jpeg compression" witchcraft of which you speak? Do you also formicate with eth Devil? To the PYRE with this unholy woman!

  19. SorosBot

    "Mr. Obama’s left arm has decidedly more bend in it, his right arm is lowered, and his shoulders are more squared."

    Geez, you would almost think that footballs and baseballs are different, and the proper way to throw each are not the same.

    1. gurukalehuru

      "Mr. Obama’s left arm has decidedly more bend in it, his right arm is lowered, and his shoulders are more squared."

      And they say he hasn't been vetted.

  20. soeoho

    Hey, I'm a recovering shape-shifter. Used to happen to my peripheral's all the time. Damned nuisance, frankly.

  21. el_donaldo

    I just want to take this opportunity to state how much I love Charles Johnson, and how much I love that not only does his apostasy drive the wingnuts crazy, he rubs their faces in it multiple times every fucking day. Odin bless LGF!

  22. BaldarTFlagass

    This pixel-detective person should go out, hit a couple bars, maybe meet a girl.

  23. SorosBot

    Remember all the racist shit Limbaugh said about Donovan McNabb? To the bigots, black guys can catch the football but they should never be allowed to throw it; they believe only white guys can be good quarterbacks. So this is just more of the same shit.

  24. Doktor StrangeZoom

    The fact that people believe there is a conspiracy makes the conspiracy a fact.

  25. Bezoar

    Maybe just for fun I'll Photoshop a picture of Obama eating a baby. Where should I post it to get the most comedy value?

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Send it to Fox Nation. It'll be flying through right-wing cyberspace in short order.

  26. Texan_Bulldog

    Isn't he supposed to be chucking a spear? That's what has the wing nuts so confused.

  27. RedneckMuslin

    Morons don't know how to chose their fights. They said nothing about the photos of the Muslin playing golf. I mean, a blah man playing golf. Gotta be shopped.

  28. Chow Yun Flat

    On top of it all, this throwing motion does not match Mr. Obama’s previous photo ops. Compare the new picture’s motion with this one of Mr. Obama throwing a baseball

    Everyone knows that you use the same throwing motion in baseball and in football. That's why there is such fierce competition among NFL teams to sign Justin Verlander as quarterback.

    1. Negropolis

      Though, I bet you Verlander would be damned good at football, too, because he is a minor deity.

    2. BerkeleyBear

      Especially when in one case you are trying to actually pitch, and in the other toss. Show me Bammerz motion in rainbowing back a fly ball he casually snow-coned over his shoulder while wearing dress shoes and a tie (you know the picture is out there – he's just that smooooooooth). Bet it looks more like the football pic.

  29. BaldarTFlagass

    Now, if the White House releases a photo of Obama bowling a strike, THEN I am going to have to call bullshit…

  30. Billmatic

    This Little Green Footballs blog doesn't have anything about football on it. I am disappoint.

    1. wondering where i am

      Lil Green Footballs SHOULD photoshop the picture so that the Bamz is throwing, what else, a little green football. (Why do the call themselves that anyway?)

  31. mavenmaven

    I think this is a perfect test case for what it must be like to be a black man in the USA. Every motion, every action, is processed under a microscope for hostile intent, which is clearly already present in the "examiner's" mind. If he didn't do anything wrong (as the end of the article there itself concludes), well, still, something has to be evil about it.

  32. Doktor StrangeZoom

    Mitt Romney has never thrown a football, but he has several good friends who own NFL franchises.

    1. fitley

      How does the President have all this time to play football when people are without JOBS? WHERE ARE THE JOBS MR. PRESIDENT?

  33. JustPixelz

    It's kinda cute how the guy says "Mr. Obama" when he really wants to say "that one".

    "…altered a picture of the President throwing a football speaks to how despereate they are …. "
    I agree someone involved in this story is "despereate".

    The Repubicans have totally given up on "better ideas", haven't they.

  34. el_donaldo

    Humble reader, the facts are yours to decide! If you want this to be true, why then Obama must resign! There is no other way.

  35. mrblifil

    ROFL "Pundit Press" update to be sung to the tune of "Brave Sir Robin" from Holy Grail…

    "Update: An intrepid commenter posted a link to a better quality image of Mr. Obama throwing the football. It proves that the photo was probably not doctored, but simply staged (poorly)."

    Even it total capitulation, not an ounce of class.

  36. rickmaci

    "I’m not one for conspiracy theories."

    Anyone who begins a blog story with those words is bat shit crazy and up to his chin in the Republiarandcon conspiracy quicksand.

  37. Tundra Grifter

    "Despereate."

    That's the word I would have used to describe this story.

    "Story" as in yarn, myth or tall tale.

    I hope I would have done a better job of spelling it.

  38. BaldarTFlagass

    You don't know terror till you've walked a mile (or been sacked for a 10 yard loss) in Jay Cutler's cleats.

  39. Dildeaux

    Because throwing a baseball and throwing a football require the exact same throwing motion, hence Obama is a marxist maoist kenyan usurper who lies so frequently even the photos of him cant be trusted. He is and will always be The Other to these types.

    While Im not particularly enamored with his policies, the batshittiness from the right will get me to vote in November.

  40. BaldarTFlagass

    Is it just me, or is the next post all fucked up, incomplete and can't comment?

  41. DahBoner

    This is the same reason why White people don't live in Detroit anymore–it's too crowded…

  42. chicken_thief

    Tebow would suck all the cock in the world to have that throwing motion.

    Wait, Tebow already….

  43. niblick77

    It is a FACT that a picture of Obama throwing a football has to be a FAKE. As everyone knows a football is also called a pigskin. Everyone knows a Muslim cannot touch a pig, ergo, doctored photo. Send in your thanks, please.

  44. Mumbly_Libel

    This looks shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels, and having seen quite a few shops in my time, and also from having literally no idea how to throw a baseball or football or what happens when you enlarge a compressed image.

  45. fuflans

    every once in a while, just for a brief fleeting moment, i think it would have been better if – in fact – the interwebs were a big truck.

  46. Steverino247

    The throwing motions for the two objects are completely different. When I was coaching youth football (ten years worth), I had moire than one father tell me their son could play quarterback because he was a pitcher in Little League. More than once I had to patiently explain that while I'd certainly give him a try, it was unlikely to succeed. Baseballs are thrown a lot more than footballs are by their respective throwers during a season. The specific throwing motion for baseballs (and don't get me started on pitches like curveballs), once learned, are unlikely to be modified much through pre-season practices with a football because you can't throw one enough. In other words, you throw a football like a baseball pitcher, not a quarterback. Besides, damned few children are willing to put their hands next to another child's balls to take the snap from center, so that usually settled the argument.

  47. Eve8Apples

    I think Obama should give the wingnutters want they want — a Photoshop extravaganza. Photoshop Obama in a space suit holding hands with Neil Armstrong as they skip across the moon. Photoshop Obama with Seal Team 6 holding a gun and firing the bullets that killed Osama Bin Laden. Photoshop Obama riding a horse across the Texas plains rounding up cattle and playing the guitar with Willie Nelson riding by his side. Photoshop Obama driving the winning car across the Indianapolis 500 finish line this weekend and waiving to the crowd.

    1. tessiee

      President Obama on the deck of an aircraft carrier, wearing a flight suit with a stuffed package…

  48. johnnyzhivago

    The original photo was of Obama throwing the constitution out the window – they must have some pretty good photoshop people in the white house….

  49. a_pink_poodle

    "And compare this photo of Obama driving a Cadillac and this photo of Obama driving a Yugo! See how in the doctored photo of him driving a Yugo that he's all hunched over the wheel?! Was this photo doctored? I'll let you decide but I'll tell you what you should decide anyway!"

  50. Exhausted66

    Every year it takes my kid a few weeks to adjust from his pitching motion to his football throwing motion. (He's a pitcher and a QB because AMERICA.)
    Doesn't the author have children? If not, why not? And if he/she does have kids, why aren't they playing football and baseball? Are they playing soccer? Are they teh ghey? It's up to you to decide.

  51. dopper0189

    They are still mad that "teh blacks" are now allowed to play quarterback. They can throw the ball and not just catch it.

  52. notanncoulter

    So, am I a completely deranged moron? It’s up to you to decide. However, the fact that I'll grasp at anything, including, but not limited to, the obviously unaltered picture of the President throwing a football speaks to how desperate I am for attention and something resembling a "scoop," no matter how pathetic.

  53. owhatever

    And the right nostril seems to have grown more hair. Pixels don't lie, but liars pixel.

  54. meatpuppet2

    I am more convinced than ever that a lot of these Republicans are acting out of repressed homosexual fellings for the Prez. They want to secretly take a long warm shower with him.

  55. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    In particular, the President’s enlarged eyes in the photo

    Please, that is not because the photo has been doctored. That is from Obama's extreme cocaine use.

  56. Quayle2012_KNOT

    A picture of the President shooting a hockey puck might resolve the "elbow controversy."

  57. Troglodeity

    Because everyone always throws a baseball exactly the same way they throw a football. Remember when Roger Staubach won Game Seven for the Texas Rangers? Me neither.

  58. fitley

    I hear there is a photoshopped picture of the Prez using a vending machine but they are saving that blockbuster until just before the election. Then it will be 24/7 Professor hugging. Beat that Libtards.

  59. BerkeleyBear

    Yeah, the guys in the prayer circle he keeps interrupting by screaming "praise Jee-suz" – they're all really Wiccans.

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