Jeers fears and queersBaptist pastor Charles L. Worley had a little sit-down with Jesus, and got this heavenly revelation:

“I figured a way to get rid of all the lesbians and queers,” he says in his sermon, delivered on May 13. “Build a great, big, large fence — 150 or 100 mile long — put all the lesbians in there, [drop some food down] … Do the same thing for the queers and the homosexuals and have that fence electrified so they can’t get out… And you know what, in a few years, they’ll die out.”

Good sermon, Pastor Worley! Very much What Jesus Would Do, we are sure! (Towleroad, though, you elided a little the part where he says, “drop some food down there,” so he is not actually calling to starve the queers and lesbos, just lock them up so they can’t reproduce. We added it back in, to be helpful, you’re welcome!)

Pastor Worley, how do you feel about gay marriage, please answer in the form of leaving off all the consonants that hillbillies don’t like to pronounce: “The Bible’s agin it, God’s agin it, I’m agin it, and if you got any sense you’re agin it,” says Pastor Worley! “Yay!” say the people! “Hell yeah!” says Jesus, “like My Father always says, fuck those guys! Can you imagine kissing a man?” Pastor Charles Worley and his congregants at the Providence Road Baptist Church in Maiden, North Carolina, will take your World’s Best Christians plaque now please, the end.


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