Grover Norquist: Why Are All These Democrat Nazis Holocausting Poor Billionaire Eduardo Saverin?

  and i did not speak up

First they came for Eduardo SaverinPoor Eduardo Saverin! All he wanted to do was renounce his American citizenship, coincidentally shortly before a big honkin’ tax bill came due from his Facebook public offering or something (we don’t know, it was all the news there was on Friday, which brought our cherished Internet to a dumb screeching halt). And then mean old New York Senator Chuck Schumer targeted him with the delightful Ex-PATRIOT Act, which would ding poor Mr. Severin for 30 percent of his income! That is double the rate that is supposed to be paid by the wealthy, as a reward for them creating your jobs. (You do all work in yacht sales, right? Or yacht construction, or yacht redecorating, or yacht skippering, or yacht insurance fraud?) And doubling the tax rate, so that it is equal to what your slob brother-in-law pays on his unemployment check? That is punishing them for their success! Everybody knows that! But did you also know it’s what the NAZIS did? That’s right, anti-tax hero Grover Norquist says this Ex-PATRIOT bill is the worst thing since the Holocaust, and we know six million Jews who would totally agree!

Inspired by the actions of Eduardo Saverin, the Facebook co-founder who renounced his citizenship ahead of a large tax payment associated with the company’s much-ballyhooed initial public offering, Sens. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and Bob Casey (D-PA) unveiled a bill Thursday to force such tax-dodgers to pay a 30 percent tax rate on all future U.S. investments and ban them from ever setting foot in the country again.

Anti-tax activist Grover Norquist compared it to the actions of Nazi Germany.

“I think Schumer can probably find the legislation to do this. It existed in Germany in the 1930s and Rhodesia in the ’70s and in South Africa as well,” Norquist said, as quoted by The Hill. “He probably just plagiarized it and translated it from the original German.”

Hahahaha ho ho cough wheeze rattle phlork! Oh Grover Norquist, you old goat! Rush Limbaugh and the Wall Street Journal — surprise! — agree. So do lots of America, Love It Or Leave It types, whose main concern now is not so much America First as that capital never be impeded in going on tax holiday. John Boehner, though, who occasionally lives in the real world where billionaire tax dodging is not universally applauded by a hardscrabble Ohio electorate, says some words and then some other words and then some other words some more.

“This is absolutely outrageous … that somebody would renounce their citizenship to avoid paying taxes,” House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) said on ABC’s “This Week” Sunday. The speaker didn’t rule out supporting the Democrats’ bill but pointed out that moves like Saverin’s are “already against the law.”

“I’m not sure it’s necessary,” Boehner said of the so-called Ex-PATRIOT Act. “If it’s necessary, I — sure, I would support it.”

It is almost as if John Boehner does not think Eduardo Saverin is the new Anne Frank! But don’t worry, when it comes time to vote on the Ex-PATRIOT Act, they’ll have larded it up with $50 billion in new Star Wars funding, criminalizing gay dogs and single motherhood, and compulsory English-only prayers to Jesus in every Head Start center, which will also be banned. That bill is going to be awesome. [TPM]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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124 comments

  1. BaldarTFlagass

    I'm not sure why the right is this defending this guy so assiduously. I mean, he's a brown, right?

      1. sewollef

        The Nazi alternative energy program involved getting Poland, Czechoslovakia, Romania, Yugoslavia and other conquered slave states to produce energy for the fatherland.

        They starved. Correction… went on a diet.

  2. Baconzgood

    Hmmmmm. How's about if you renounce your american citizenship ALL of your assets are siezed? That seems like fair for ohhhhhh, BEING A FUCKING TRAITOR!!!!!!!

  3. Doktor StrangeZoom

    First they came for the Niemöller parodies, and I said nothing,
    because I was more into Monty Python references

    1. actor212

      Then they came for the St John Gumby impersonators, and I said nothing, as an upper class twit (and chartered public accountant, which means I can drone on and on about absolutely nothing until my sock garters snap off and leap up to strangle me whilst I'll continue my diatribes about the darkies and GAAAAAAAAAAAACK!–

    1. actor212

      No one saw that coming. No sirree! Couldn't have imagined that.

      Actually, Saverin probably screwed himself royally. Most insiders have a lock-up period of six months before they can sell out of an IPO. He should have sold off in thre private placement back in March when the market-makers were buying whole lots.

    1. prommie

      Its funny, I was once wondering at some public display of massively bad taste put on by some extremely wealthy person who could have easily hired someone to tell them how to be tasteful even if they were just fucking hopeless, and it was explained to me that "money doesn't care who has it." If money had such easily bruised feelings, do you think there is a nickel that would choose to belong to Donald Trump?

  4. prommie

    He he, I actually did work in yacht sales, once. Its similar to working in an asian massage parlor, you spend all day tugging on dicks.

  5. V572 Is this him?

    I work in the yacht head cleaning business, so this is bad news for me. Sweepers man your brooms! Lower the captain's gig! There'll be a clean sweepdown fore and aft before eight bells of the dog watch!

    And did anybody else have to read this patriotic cautionary tale in "junior high," as it used to be called?

    Oh and one more thing: I learned from la principessa Italiana that it's trivially easy to hide assets overseas if you have dual citizenship. You use your US American passport to open accounts here, and your "European" passport to open accounts in "Europe," and nobody's the wiser. Moving the money between nations is a bit tricker.

    1. Rosie_Scenario

      I immediately thought of that story. Quite the moral lesson for impressionable minds. Shouldn't the baggers love it and support the proposed bill? The tax penalty is puny in compared to prison on board a ship, etc.

  6. Baconzgood

    You know who else renounce their citizenship then came back into thier former country?

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      I've no idea, but totally OT, it occurs to me that somebody could do a pretty funny "Hitler finds out he owes 30% to Austria" parody clip.

      Oh, wait … we have Norquist's rant. Never mind.

  7. Doktor StrangeZoom

    Funny, there was once a time when Americans had the quaint idea that Hitler could be defeated by paying taxes. Clearly, the cause of freedom in 1942 would have been better served by starving the US government of funds.

  8. actor212

    Needs moar jackboots, Grover.

    Seriously, it's not like he'll be creating jobs here in the States. We ought to gouge the candy-assed ferriner

  9. BaldarTFlagass

    I'd be willing to bet that being saddled with the first name of "Grover" got this guy no end of grief in grade school. A non-stop wedgie- and noogie-fest. Payback is a bitch.

    1. V572 Is this him?

      We didn't pick on Young Grover. Why do we have to allow him to screw up the entire country just to get even?

    2. freakishlywrong

      Grover should run for office. So should Karl. The overwhelming rejection of their platform would hopefully shut them the fuck out of the political process for good.

      1. Gainsbourg69

        It wouldn't be wise for Grover to trot out that shallow lake analogy he uses to justify tax cuts for the wealthy in front of people who are within punching distance.

  10. ManchuCandidate

    I think Grover would be the type who would go all psycho if he were asked to pay for his share of the restaurant bill.

    "It's Nazism! You can't make me pay my share of the tip! I'd rather live in a world where the waitress gets nothing!"

    1. Texan_Bulldog

      I bet in his world the waitress does, indeed, get nothing. Don't see Grover being a good tipper.

  11. FlownOver

    Is it a violation of the commenting guidelines to advocate a second amendment remedy for Grover Norquist's citizenship, or can we only urge that he join Eddie Slytherin voluntarily and hope there's some flesh-eating microbe newly escaped in Singapore?

    Conscientious commenters need to know. In the meantime, skullfuck both of them.

  12. Biel_ze_Bubba

    I bet 1930s Germany had speed limits on their roads, and laws against bank robbery, and maybe a couple of others. Let's get rid of all of ours, because NAZIS!

    1. prommie

      Obama is so Hitler with communizing our Constituttional freedums, but Romney will save us with Reagan-ness.

    2. Equality_Joe

      My favorite version of this is how right-wingers give Hitler credit for Germany's universal health care.

      When the actual truth is, Otto Von Bismarck actually introduced universal health care to Germany, in 1883, and mostly because it was an easy gimmie to the lefties to get them on his side without any real costs, because what sort of lunatic would be opposed to universal health care.

      But of course, this just lead to INEVITABLE the slow slide into Nazism, when 50 years later a coalition of right-wingers suddenly overthrew the Center-Left Weimar republic based on unrelated pretexts, and also nothing all that similar happened in other social democracies that adopted universal healthcare after 1883.

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        I'm sure Hitler got sick at some point, and was saved by national health care, which just goes to show what horrible evils it leads to.

        (Pursuant to Poe's Law, I'd not be at all surprised if this argument hasn't appeared on some wingnutty internet forum.)

        1. Equality_Joe

          They are actually fond of saying that even if Hitler didn't invent health care himself, he still vaguely used it to genocide some people (even though actually institutionalization and eugenics have happened in plenty of places that don't have universal care but whatever).

          It's actually hard to parse that as meaning something other than, "Well sure, universal health care seems great now, but we're complete right-wing lunatics, so imagine what we'll do with that kind of power."

          1. Biel_ze_Bubba

            Death panels, for starters, I'm sure. They know they'd do it, which is why they're afraid Obama will do it first.

      2. sewollef

        "….. because what sort of lunatic would be opposed to universal health care. "

        Er, I can think of oh, maybe: Mittens, Sanitorum, Bachmann, Paul, Gingrich, Cantor, Rubio, Sessions, Kyl, McCain, Lugar, Grassley, McConnell, Vitter, Brown, Blunt, Boehner, Inhofe, Coburn, Alexander, Cornyn, Hatch, Corker, Thune, DeMint, Graham, Ensign, Kirk, Shelby, Ryan, Grimm, King…. and possibly a few others.

  13. ingloriousbytch

    There's not enough STFU in the world for Grover Norquist.

    Amazing how the party of personal responsibility is now in favor of people dodging their responsibilities.

  14. shortsandpants

    For somebody who sued the hell out of Facebook because of how unfair it is, EDUARDO KNOWS THIS PAIN. Now that he is worth a scandalous pile of money, it is clear that he shouldn't have to pay taxes. What would Ronald Reagan do? HE WOULD MAKE AN ANGRY B MOVIE ABOUT IT, that is what he would do. And then he would shoot some poors and give Eduardo whatever sweet dollars he got, for justice.

    Pobrecito. The only thing that will resolve this is Eduardo's (probably) millions upon billions of sweet Internets-dollar$ he has stored off-shore. When the gub'r'mint comes for that, all of us Facebook slaves will never see a "Status Update" again, for anyone, ever. Forever. SAVE THE STATUS UPDATES!!!$@%%%!!!1 How else will one know what some-girl-they-knew-in-high-school's cat did with some useless object? Will we have to look it up on the YouTubes? THE YOUTUBES? Let this Eduardo flee the States, and when he is kidnapped for ransom, let him deal with it. We wouldn't want the United States to intervene when say, just for instance, Eduardo is pleading for help from the government he renounced, would we? NO, as that is an American practice. In the sweet, sweet and lawless Pacific ring, Eduardo will do fine with his private security force of money-hungry locals and dilapidated palm trees.

    Farewell, Eduardo. Be sure to tag yourself in numerous photos of what will surely be you rotting in a cellar surrounded in cash you can't use for anything. Too extreme? Oh for sure— but a man can fantasize, right?

    1. V572 Is this him?

      Shorts! Where you been all this time? Looks like the meds have been working about as well as can be expected.

      1. shortsandpants

        IN THE AVATARD FLESH, sir. I spent a year or two investing in Cash4Gold and also imitating the Repo men on the TeeVee. I didn't know that the houses you try to repossess have to actually be in foreclosure, though. It didn't bode well with the neighbors. Stupid formalities.

        1. V572 Is this him?

          This is where Second Amendment remedies run up against Fourth Amendment whiners.

  15. prommie

    We had the GOP all wrong, turns out they love RICH hispanic immigrants. Its only the poor browns they hate.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      The rich ones prove the exceptionalizimosity of the "Merkin Dream™.
      The poorz ones are just lazy.

    2. V572 Is this him?

      Greed and the desire to suck up to it are equal-opportunity human characteristics.

  16. fartknocker

    Snark off. I watched Grover on Bill Maher a couple of weeks ago. For about 50 minutes, all I heard was his man love for Ronnie Raygun and how our current president has done nothing to solve the deficit. Grover is an old, white, pissed off guy who haz much sadness because his wisdom on tax policy doesn't work in today's market.

    If a person becomes a citizen of this nation, they have an obligation to pay for the infrastructure we built, which needs a lot of maintenance. They also have an obligation to support veterans, especially those who have made tremendous sacrifices in wars that some of us don't agree on. I totally support Senator Schumer on this issue.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      "his wisdom on tax policy doesn't work in today's market. "

      You're implying that it did work once, which seems highly unlikely.

  17. sharethegrief

    I like the idea of water sports. Norquist would fit in almost any bathtub but Rush would require an Olympic-sized pool.

  18. Allmighty_Manos

    Only class war liberals would describe a rich kid inventor of a new way of sharing cute cat photos, who, in the midst of getting filthy rich, decides to ditch his American citizenship to get out of paying taxes as anything but the greatest living American (err former) ever.

    My grandpa, who still has shrapnel from a Japanese grenade lodged in his thigh, is a big big government loser by comparison. I mean he had the fed. government pay for his college education.

  19. FakaktaSouth

    All I can think of when I think Grover Norquist (besides that noise he makes when he talks) is how he says he developed his economic theories on tax policy when he was 12 years old. I believe him. And oh dear god won't somebody get this guy out of here?

    1. prommie

      Why isn't that just brilliant! All of our policies should be based on the theories of 12 year olds. Or go one better, noone over 12 should be allowed to hold public office. Lisa Simpson for president!

      1. FakaktaSouth

        When I was 12 I wanted to run away like Rio with Duran Duran. I don't think anyone should base an entire political party on the feverish brain of the newly hormonal.

    2. Native_of_SL_UT

      If only old Grover would follow this in this guys footsteps. Please Grover, renounce your citizenship and move to Singapore and quit fucking up this country with your stupid ideas.

  20. swordfis

    I really think it's time to tattoo numbers on the arm of any American Christian idiot who makes vile usage of the Holocaust in particular or Naziism in general. Maybe their Social Security number, just for irony's sake.

    1. DemmeFatale

      Yes, I am really sick of the cultural amnesia that minimizes the Holocaust.

      (I remember when "survivor" was just used for "Holocaust survivor.")

  21. Doktor StrangeZoom

    Incidentally, Hitler did, in fact, seize most of the assets of any Jews who managed to emigrate. Of course, he also seized the assets of any Jews who stayed IN the Reich, too. And he let his pals in business–"Aryan" pals, of course–get enormous tax breaks, as long as they advanced Nazi goals…

    Oh, wait, I'm sorry…I was starting to talk about mere reality. What was I thinking?

  22. Mittens Howell, III

    I'm secretly hiding Billionaires under my floorboards to save them from Obama.

  23. Not_So_Much

    If only someone would jam their arm all the way up this Grover's ass. The other puppet seems way smarter…

  24. shortsandpants

    For somebody who sued the hell out of Facebook because of how unfair it is, EDUARDO KNOWS THIS PAIN. Now that he is worth a scandalous pile of money, it is clear that he shouldn't have to pay taxes. What would Ronald Reagan do? HE WOULD MAKE AN ANGRY B MOVIE ABOUT IT, that is what he would do. And then he would shoot some poors and give Eduardo whatever sweet dollars he got, for justice.

  25. MissTaken

    In the documentary I thought Eduardo had curly hair and created Napster? Oh wait, that was Justin Timberlake. Congress should get the N'Sync opinion on this Eduardo guy dropping US citizenship before jumping to any conclusions.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      No. Spider-Man just renounced his citizenship. That's why noted RIL MURICAN Tommy Gavin has to fill him.

  26. Equality_Joe

    I love how he invoked 1970's Rhodesia, thus inadvertantly revealing that he favored the minority apartheid government of white "job creators" that characterized the pre-Bush War former nation.

    Speaking of which, you know who else was in favor of governance that was predicated on explicit white supremacism?

  27. prommie

    See, its not disloyalty or treason if the President is black! You only owe your country loyalty if the president is white, as presidents are supposed to be. We are like Vichy france right now, suffering under an illegitimate government that is the puppet of our enemies, the Kenyan Socialists.

  28. GortRay

    How much do you want to bet that "Grover"(hahaha) Norquist got the shit beat out of him every day in middle school?

  29. Designer_Rants

    Bravo, mein Rebecca. Bravo on an excellent post!
    But seriously, is Grover Norquist the New Anne Frank then? I have a feeling his diary is all about the stray dogs he mutilated.

  30. Guppy

    The GOP won't be satisfied until the statement "Republicans hate America" doesn't have any hyperbole left in it.

  31. owhatever

    Ole Crazy Eyes being a Swisserlander and Romney keeping his money hidden offshore gave Eddie the idea — combine the two and move to a country with a better standard of living. Of course, he is putting his Social Security at risk.

  32. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Hitler's greatest crime against humanity was increasing the marginal tax rate on the rich!

  33. ttommyunger

    Grover Norquist, Jonah Goldberg, Frank Luntz. Triplets separated at birth; the issue from a sweaty tryst behind a Waffle House dumpster between Newt Gingrich and Jocelyn Goldberg.

  34. bobloblawlawblg

    Has anyone else noticed how all the "wronged" characters in "The Social Network" have since been outed as being total d-bags?

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