James O’Keefe Almost Sorry For Being One Hundred Percent Wrong In Latest Masterpiece, Ha Ha Not Really

  those facts are no longer operative

Go directly to jailIt sure must have been embarrassing for young master James O’Keefe when every single part of his latest vote fraud video was laughed out of the room. (He said a dead dude was voting, but edited out the part where it was clear that it was the dead dude’s son, Dead Dude Jr., to whom the lady thought she was offering the ballot. Then he claimed noncitizens were voting because two guys said they weren’t citizens to get out of jury duty; at least one of them was naturalized between that jury duty date and the date of the election.) So how does one go about “walking back” claims that formed the entirety of his thesis? Perhaps with a quick apology and total disavowal, as did NRO on Friday when they accused Elizabeth Warren of plagiarism, whoops, except hers was the book that came out first? Sure, that’s what O’Keefe did: apologized and … HAHAHA DON’T BE RIDICULOSE! Apologies and retractions are for suckers!

No, here’s what led O’Keefe’s “update” to his video on “Democrat-friendly” vote fraud schemes (which showed kids bragging to University of North Carolina employees that they’d double-voted GOP): he starts by bragging that he got the employees disciplined. And then? The noncitizen voting part? Oh, well that may take a little more finessing!

The investigation also sparked discussion of a consensus bill on Voter ID in the North Carolina legislature. Note that Governor Beverly Perdue vetoed legislation that previously passed.

Additionally, other organizations have reviewed our check of jury forms against the voter rolls and have found one individual, Mr. Romero, apparently became a naturalized citizen after refusing jury duty on the grounds of being a non-citizen.

Another individual appears to have perjured himself on the jury refusal form despite also being a naturalized citizen.

Project Veritas’ journalists were offered ballots and encouraged to vote despite raising red flags with outlandish behavior – such as speaking Spanish while asking to retrieve a foreign passport and wearing a ridiculous costume. However, while our facts were correct in the report, the perception presented in the investigation — which highlighted the ease in which voter fraud can be committed — deserves correction in regards to the citizenship status of Mr. Romero and Mr. Gorzkowski.

Did you catch it? There at the end? He said “while our fact were correct in the report, the perception … deserves correction in regards to the citizenship status of Mr. Romero and Mr. Gorzowski.” Too bad about all those correct facts, which are so very correct but somehow also not correct and deserve correction, that is so weird. Also, dunno, call us nitpicky, but a better correction of these totally correct facts might have been one that said, “Our report was incorrect” and then actually stated that the aforementioned fellows are actually citizens, and not dastardly immigrant vote frauders, instead of leading with a whirlpool of verbiage that people have to doggy-paddle around in before getting to the correction of the totally correct facts, which were obviously correct.

Good apology, James O’Keefe! Oh wait, that’s right, he didn’t. Maybe next time? Sure, next time!

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128 comments

    1. thatsitfortheother1

      Funny thing is, he is eventually going to end up doing time if he keeps this up, and his Republican "friends" are gonna say "What a shame, wish I could help somehow."

      1. ttommyunger

        She doesn't get beaten to the draw very often. Doubt it will happen again. ps: have not seen her, but bet you are absolutely correct on that point.

  1. BaldarTFlagass

    "Well, even if Romero and Gorzowski are citizens, you can be sure there are some other non-citizens are out there committing voter fraud, especially now that we've showed them how to do it."

    1. snarkycomments

      And, to be fair, there is still the open question of whether Romero and Gorzowski are the right kind of citizens. Until citizenship tests ask about whether the capital gains tax should be reduced we'll honestly never know.

  2. Baconzgood

    "Outlandish behavior – such as…wearing a ridiculous costume"

    Jimmy, there's a Mr. Pot on line 2 for you.

  3. bureaucrap

    "We apologize if we gave the impression that we called Mr. O'Keefe a "flaming douche". What we had intended to say, and what the record shows, is that we, more precisely, called him a "flaming douche and moral succubus." We regret any inconvenience this error may have caused."

  4. el_donaldo

    So no real facts, but it's all true, because, hey, c'mon. What else are you going to believe? That people actually vote Democrat?

    1. Chichikovovich

      You joke, but I do remember a long rant from the immortal B-1 Bob Dornan, after he was beaten by a Latino. He went on an on about the shocking number of undocumented immigrants who voted, based on no evidence beyond the observation that it was impossible for someone like that to beat him honestly.

      1. el_donaldo

        With epistemic closure comes massive entitlement. Also Dornan is a raging prick. I was so happy to see him go down.

        From his Wikipedia page:

        For his final successful run for Congress, Dornan had signs posted at polling places that warned voters in Spanish that they should be prepared to prove their citizenship in order to vote, suggesting that immigration officials would be present. The success of this action was believed to have kept enough Latino voters away from the polls to eke out a final victory for Dornan against Mike Farber in an election that featured allegations of domestic violence by Dornan. A long court battle deemed these signs illegal and inappropriate, and he was not able to post them again at the next election, which he then lost to Loretta Sanchez.

  5. Terry

    " such as speaking Spanish while asking to retrieve a foreign passport and wearing a ridiculous costume. "

    It's a red flag to speak Spanish in a polling place? What about other languages? My polling place has staff on had to speak with voters in several languages. Funny that they don't know they're acting suspicious.

    Oh, and Jimmy boy, anyone who dresses up in a faux pimp outfit really doesn't have room to talk on the subject of ridiculous outfits.

    1. thatsitfortheother1

      Who is the gaucho amigo,
      Why is he standing
      In your spangled leather poncho
      And your elevator shoes
      Bodacious cowboys
      Such as your friend
      Will never be welcome here
      High in the
      Tampa Bay Times Forum in Tampa, Florida (formerly called the St Pete Times Forum)

    2. Equality_Joe

      Seriously. I'm pretty sure there's more registered voters in my precinct who speak Spanish than there are that speak 'Merkin.

      But then, that's the point, isn't it? Voter ID proponents are pretty sure that the sorts of citizens who live in my neighborhood have no business voting at all, anway.

    3. thatsitfortheother1

      The lyrics to Steely Dan's Gaucho come to mind. They come not to print, however, because somebody seems to have a hard on for them.

    4. anniegetyerfun

      What outlandish area do you live in? What kind of crazy place allows human beings to speak Spanish, a made-up language that is flagrantly ridiculous?

  6. sewollef

    "Project Veritas’ journalists…"

    I'm going to use a late Middle English descriptor that dates from Anglo-Norman French:

    Project Veritas 'journalists', is a misnomer. It dates from the Old French verb mesnommer, from mes- ‘wrongly’ nommer ‘to name’ (based on Latin nomen ‘name’ ).

    I'm now going to refer to said 'journalists' using another Middle English term, this of Germanic origin. We English people might refer to them as c*nts.

    It's a word related to Norwegian and Swedish dialect kunta, and Middle Low German, Middle Dutch, and Danish dialect kunte.

      1. Chichikovovich

        From the song: ♪♫ "Mairzy cunts and dozy cunts and liddle cuntsie-divy…."♪♫

  7. BarbdarTFlagass

    He's just following the trail blazed by his heroes in the Republican party. "I'm sorry if anyone was offended by the wheelbarrow full of bullshit I trotted out."

  8. CapnFatback

    Project Veritas’ journalists were offered ballots and encouraged to vote despite raising red flags with outlandish behavior – such as speaking Spanish while asking to retrieve a foreign passport and wearing a ridiculous costume

    I just figured it out! This Project Veritas is all just one big excuse to normalize cosplay, isn't it, Mr. O'Keefe?

  9. SorosBot

    "which highlighted the ease in which voter fraud can be committed"

    Except that you idiots proved the exact opposite, morons.

    What is the whole point of this bullshit, anyway? I guess he's trying to make it appear the non-problem of voter fraud actually exists, to give cover for the racist voter disenfranchisement laws the GOP state legislatures keep pushing.

    1. Chichikovovich

      I guess he's trying to make it appear the non-problem of voter fraud actually exists, to give cover for the racist voter disenfranchisement laws the GOP state legislatures keep pushing.

      Yes, that is exactly what he is doing. As well as the rest of the GOP, in a coordinated campaign that has been ongoing for years. The reason I'm 100% sure that voter fraud is extremely rare, is that if there actually were more than the occasional sporadic case of someone voting improperly is that if there were any, these propagandists would be trumpeting them to the skies.

      [Also, one might observe that when actual cases of voter fraud come to light that don't fit the stereotype they are trying to inflate -- Ann Coulter voting in a district she wasn't supposed to vote in, for example -- it doesn't seem to trouble these guys at all. ]

  10. Baconzgood

    I'll let you in on a little secrete, but keep it under your hat. If you want to get out of Jury Duty do what Baconz did in Federal court. Use a racial slur while being asked questions. What worked for me "Is the defendant's name Jewish? They killed Christ ya know." They dismissed me faster than you can say $12 a day.

    1. Geminisunmars

      I got out of a murder trial by telling them that I worked at a local public radio station. I was the first on the DA's dismissal list.

    2. anniegetyerfun

      I have never once been called for jury duty. I'm 34 and have lived in the US continuously for the past ten years. My father, on the other hand, only became a US citizen 5 years ago, and has been called three times since.

      It's like they KNOW I'm an asshole.

      1. Baconzgood

        They will start to call you up (especially if your a white woman) around 35-40. They don't like young white men or browinsh people.

  11. weejee

    HAHAHA DON’T BE RIDICULOSE!

    Isn't rediculose one of those nasty sugars in high fructed-up corn syrup? One of those artificial thingies like Jimmie the Weasel O'Keefe.

  12. freakishlywrong

    Ain't easy out there for a pimp. Or for a blind ideologue who's also an enormous shitstain.

  13. Reginald_Perrin

    I can hardly wait for the day douche O'Keefe becomes the next Breitbart….and by that I mean, drops dead.

  14. Steverino247

    You know, each time a lizard's tail grows back, it's shorter. Eventually, the bird gets the little bastard.

  15. Arken

    "wearing a ridiculous costume."

    Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. We live in a country where people go to movie sequels dressed as their favorite characters.

    1. CrankyLttlCamperette

      And where we get more people going to movie sequels than out to vote…

  16. Texan_Bulldog

    This dude is a journalistic legend in his own mind. Maybe if we all ignore him he will go back to hanging out in Mom & Dad's basement.

    1. James Michael Curley

      "This dude is a journalistic legend in his own mind. Maybe if we all ignore him he will go back to hanging out in Mom & Dad's basement"

      The sentence had too many words. Phrasal verbs and compound participles should be avoided.

      1. prommie

        Don't judge me! I'll be phraselizing my verbs all I want and I will not have you make me ashamed of it!

  17. BaldarTFlagass

    "Project Veritas’ journalists were offered ballots and encouraged to vote despite raising red flags with outlandish behavior – such as speaking Spanish while asking to retrieve a foreign passport and wearing a ridiculous costume. "

    These guys are like the Merry Pranksters, except for stupid instead of stoned.

    1. thatsitfortheother1

      I just can't picture his tour bus emblazoned with "We have come for your daughters."

  18. FakaktaSouth

    Ugh. Bring back the dildo boat. Dildo reporters are funner than vote frauders, but still kind of similar – the point is Dems are fake-fucking with R votes, but not really, right?

    As my favorite band the Black Keys (I liked them first, before anyone. Okay, since Saturday, whatever)
    ANYway, as my man Dan Auerbach says,

    There's something wrong
    With this plot
    The actors here
    Have not got
    A clue

    1. fartknocker

      I too am a fan. If you like the Black Keys, listen to the Avett Brothers and Gillian Welch.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        Avett Bros play down here in the dirrty dirrty all the time of course. They came to my little town's amphitheatre and I swear I hadn't seen that much plaid since 1992. I have them on my list of things I need to learn more about. Gillian Welch I see has a song with Norah Jones? I like that girl. Cool! Thanks!

        1. sewollef

          Edward Sharpe [aka Alexander] – saw them at Threadgills, then ACL last year. Amazing;
          The Low Anthem – similar band to Avett Bros; Mumford & Sons, same; for wacky [and I'm big on wacky bands], try Sufjan Stevens.

    2. prommie

      I got the t-shirt that proves that I liked them first. Actually, I didn't. I felt embarrassed for the dudes my age who actually did buy t-shirts, like, you know? Please, I am fucking 50.

      This dude's face just so screams for throat-punching. And neck-stomping, a good old-fashioned Paultard neck-stomping.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        I find it unacceptable that I could be too old for concert tshirts. That makes me feel disconnected from myself and one of my favorite things in life. Fuckit I am ready to skip all this selfawareness and go straight to the I don't give a rats ass, I'm old stage.

        1. sewollef

          Shit, I'm sailing close to the last act of my tawdry existence on this planet [ok, I'm exaggerating only a teeny-tiny bit], but neverless, I'll be at Austin City Limits this October [like I was last year]…. and a couple of years ago at Bonnaroo,

          I'm with you FS. Who cares as long as you can tap your fingers and hum along to a decent tune. Or pogo. Whatever.

          1. fartknocker

            While in Austin, I would be happy to open my home to you for a warm meal and cold beer. I've got 4 folks who will be camping at my little 1452 square foot mansion during ACL, so I have no more room at the Inn. However, I will have plenty of food and alcohol.

            The big ACL story for this year is that it's predicted the Red Hot Chili Peppers will be playing. I'm also speculating that Gotye will play ACL this fall.

          2. sewollef

            A generous offer indeed from a fellow Wonketeer.

            Looks like we have a place already set up – at the San José hotel on South Congress. But I'm deeply grateful, since I'm a serial killer and people here in NYC can be so mean to us.

            I saw the Chili Peppers at V2001 Festival in er, 2001 — when I was living back in the UK. They were spectacular. Saw Bowie at Glastonbury in 2000, along with 200,000 others. And David Byrne at ACL 2009 [I think] was on excellent form.

            Looking forward to it.

          3. FakaktaSouth

            OOH OOH OOH This is a place I have been! Do you go there often? The Hotel San Jose ain't no joke, it is the perfect little hipster hotel (jack kerouac print in the lobby and everything!) for ACL. I have been to a hotel the same folks own in San Antonio too. It is so fun, I am incredibly jealous, and please do/drink something memorable in the HSJ courtyard on my behalf. RHCP 1992 Lollapalooza when BloodSugarSexMagic had just come out, oh my god. I hope they are at ACL this year! SO FUN!

          4. sewollef

            This year will be my first at the San José. Last year it was the Austin Motel, down the block.

            I've heard lots of good things about the San José… I stopped in last year to check it out and immediately wanted to stay there. It's a cool 3 days and nights of music… with always some you've never heard of before making it totally worthwhile.

            I might have one or two drinks to celebrate.

        2. Geminisunmars

          Here is your welcome-aboard purple old ladies' "You must have confused me with someone who gives a shit" T-shirt. Meetings are held Tuesdays around the corner at the B-Rite Inn, 9pm to closing. (Tuesdays are two pitchers of margaritas for the price of one night).

    3. Mumbletypeg

      dildo boat… Dildo reporters…

      For some reason — and I hate to ruin the black keys mood but – - upon reading this, Hank Jr's voice revved up in my noggin, "All My Rowdy Dildos Comin' OVer Tonight" as a theme song for tireless miscreant O'Keefe'.

  19. rickmaci

    Just another episode in the ongoing saga of the Republiecon plan to suppress democracy by intimidating and bullying.

  20. ManchuCandidate

    I can't wait for his next project… Obamer's Diaries. It's the shocking words of a Young Kenyan blah man who finds truth in Nazism and becomes a Muslin Socialist Xtian Communist to destroy white people's US America… or so I've heard.

  21. fartknocker

    I'm still trying to figure out how this goat fuck is relevant. His one act of infinite stupidity was about as relevant as a wet fart and his hero Breitbart is dead and gone. He needs to STFU and go to ITT so he can learn how to build a website. I'm sure Amway, Liberty University and Hoveround will sponsor him.

    1. sewollef

      Actually, he's just about competent — maybe — to be an Amway agent. Most people treat them with the same amount of respect.

      1. Terry

        Except that to sell Amway, he'd actually have to work. Getting people to buy that crap and buy into a pyramid scheme can't be particularly easy.

    1. Fare la Volpe

      Since an artist never becomes famous until he dies, I hope O'Keefe lives forever.

  22. CapnFatback

    O'Keefe plays fast and loose with "facts" as if they were a gaggle of sorority sisters whose drinks he just slipped roofies into.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Ha! I can just imagine the write-up:

      "In our detailed Project Veritas report, two potential voters were seen gesticulating wildly at each other, clearly communicating in a secret code that indicated and attempt to commit voter fraud. When approached by a Veritas reporter, neither subject would respond to our questions, only pointing to their ears and mouth and shrugging while smiling politely. Another fraudster nearby appeared to be wearing some sort of listening device – like a Bluetooth headset, but smaller and more sinister. Clearly, this woman was receiving voting fraud instructions from the Democrat Mothership. Footage will be forthcoming."

  23. Chichikovovich

    Project Veritas’ journalists were offered ballots and encouraged to vote despite raising red flags with outlandish behavior – such as speaking Spanish while asking to retrieve a foreign passport and wearing a ridiculous costume.
    Dear Mr. O'Keefe
    I can save you lodes of thyme: I voted in the last presidential election, for Obama! Yet I have a foreign passport, and I speak several foreign languages. I have, on occasion, worn ridiculous costumes. These facts are, as you know, absolutely incompatible with U.S. citizenship, so you should make a huge, big stink about it.

  24. MissTaken

    Yesterday I took a picture of myself voting by mail for Doctor/Attorney/Businesswoman Orly Taitz for US Senate. Thanks to the insanity of California's new 'blanket primary' this was totally legal.

    Perhaps I should send the picture to O'Queef since it doesn't seem he really cares to film *actual* instances of voter fraud?

    1. SorosBot

      You did your duty for comedy, trying to get that insane thing the nomination. And god that California ballot is insanely long and convoluted.

    2. Equality_Joe

      I still find that Dentist/Attorney thing kinda hilarious, and not for the normal reason.

      Specifically, IIRC, pre-birther insanity, she used her law license predominantly to represent herself in dental malpractice suits. Which means, she was sued for malpractice frequently enough that getting a law degree was more economical than retaining a lawyer.

  25. ChessieNefercat

    I am just a boring mild-mannered midwest lady, just as white bread as can be, and when I see O'Bleat's face I just want to poke him in the eye and give him a wedgie or a swirly or whatever it is the beefy bullies of high school do to anyone whose life they think should be a living hell.

    I can only imagine what hell his school years must have been for him. That being said, that's no excuse for him being the bigoted, unethical, lying, whining, weasel-faced douchebag that he so clearly is.

  26. OkieDokieDog

    I don't care what he does anymore because he will always be comic book hero:
    James Dildo O'Keefe, Boy Reporter.

  27. ChrisM2011

    I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.

  28. Guppy

    There's nothing more fundamentally American than lying to get out of jury duty. Heck, isn't that part of the naturalization test?

  29. ghblowhard

    I bet if you asked this guy about Dan Rather he'd have a lot of incorrect correct facts

  30. Antispandex

    " ….raising red flags with outlandish behavior – such as speaking Spanish…"

    Isn't that all he really needed to say?

  31. not that Radio

    This would be a winning pitch for a Mythbusters episode — demolish every video that James has ever done. And then at the end they can blow him up.

Comments are closed.