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'CHICAGO HARD-BALL POLITICS RULES'  10:54 am May 18, 2012

Rahm Emanuel Has Been Locked In His Bedroom, Sobbing, For 24 Hours

by Jim Newell

Suck rain water RickettsToday is the best day of Rahm Emanuel’s life. Okay, maybe a close second, behind that loooooong day he spent with Tim Shriver at the White House honing his sensitivity skills. But today, man, just look at how those media suckers are eating up his story about being so “livid” that he won’t even return calls to the Ricketts family, the Cubs owners whose patriarch, Joe, was going to run all of those hilarious Jeremy Wright ads. Please. He’s acting. He’s “livid” 100% of the time, and he’s constitutionally incapable of putting his phone down. But the Ricketts are scared like the dickens after hearing this, so the plan worked: pretend to be volcanically upset at them — as if some old coot running a couple of wingnut ads would actually offend Rahm Emanuel — and then (a) watch a few other rich old idiots drop their own half-assed Super PAC plans, in fear, and (b) secure a better deal for renovations to Wrigley Field. Yeah, sure, it’s totally inappropriate to publicly threaten to blow up a public financing deal because of a heat-of-the-moment personal grudge. But doesn’t that just make it more exciting?

Maybe some of you Illinois Wonketters can help us understand how this Wrigley Field renovation is politically viable. The Illinois state government has, what, four total dollars, and Chicago has money but gives it all to the megabank consortium that runs the parking meters, and everyone is unemployed and pensionless… but the Cubs are going to secure $100 million in public financing to spruce up their stadium for their rich fans? Sounds about right, actually. Anyway, Rahm Emanuel is pretending to be so, so mad at these Cubs owners, who are now in full scramble mode. The Madman Theory, it’s always fun:

The Cubs desperately need Emanuel’s support as they attempt to get city and state help for a planned $300 million renovation of Wrigley Field.

“The Mayor was livid when he read that the Ricketts were going to launch a $10 million campaign against President Obama — with the type of racially motivated ads that are insulting to the president and the presidential campaign,” an Emanuel aide said. “He is also livid with their blatant hypocrisy.”

While Tom Ricketts issued a statement distancing himself from the plan — and reached out to Emanuel Thursday morning to tell him so — the aide said Emanuel won’t talk to him.

“The Ricketts[es] have tried to contact the mayor but he’s said that he does not want to talk with them today, tomorrow or anytime soon,” the aide said.

And so it was on May 17, 2012, that Rahm Emanuel made the Ricketts family his bitch for life:

The Cubs were hoping for a vote on a state borrowing plan to bankroll the Wrigley renovation using tax-exempt bonds during the final two weeks of the Illinois General Assembly’s spring session, paving the way for construction to begin in October. The team needs the mayor’s support, because the bonds would be retired by new advertising, sponsorship and concession revenues at Wrigley and a variation of the financing scheme that Emanuel once called a “non-starter” — forfeiting 35 years’ worth of amusement tax growth.

Before the Joe Ricketts controversy erupted this week, talks with Emanuel were continuing with a “sense of urgency” to accommodate the Cubs construction timetable, City Hall sources said.

Asked Thursday whether the proposed attack on Obama would derail a deal, Emanuel said, “I’ll have some conversations on that later — comments, rather.”

He is cackling, on his fainting couch.

[Sun Times]

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 158 comments }

nounverb911 May 18, 2012 at 10:55 am

Just call Ricketts a motherf**ker a few hundred times and tell the Cubbies to suck on it. That'll get it out of your system.

Lascauxcaveman May 18, 2012 at 11:37 am

N,o just tell the Ricketts that the financing deal is contingent on an Obama re-eelction, take it or leave it. They can help with that, or chose not to.

Chicago style.

Negropolis May 19, 2012 at 1:22 am

Now, that's some Chicago-style politics, right there.

Barb May 18, 2012 at 10:58 am

What do the Chicago Cubs and possums have in common?
Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

weejee May 18, 2012 at 11:20 am

Mariners too, also.

DaRooster May 18, 2012 at 10:59 am

It really is sad how professional team owners don't have enough money to make renovations to their ball parks.

Maybe we should turn the teams over to the people that pay for them… fans.

MegPasadena May 18, 2012 at 11:36 am

Yet they have spare money to run attack ads.

WunkRocker May 18, 2012 at 11:40 am

Always complaining abut the taxes and asking for corporate welfare funded by the taxpayers. F*ck these a_holes and every shetbag on the Charlotte City Council that rammed that Bobcats arena down our throats. Woo Charlotte Bobcats. Worst team in basketball history. It is pretty bad when you start to miss George Shinn.

anniegetyerfun May 18, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Seriously – get a job, team owners!

SorosBot May 18, 2012 at 12:21 pm

The Green Bay Packers are owned by their fans – so of course the NFL now has rules in place to insure that no other team can be owned in the same manner, since only bloated plutocrats should own sports teams.

bikerlaureate May 18, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Nationalize the National Pastime ??!?

Barb May 18, 2012 at 10:59 am

Why do ducks fly over Wrigley Field upside down?
There's nothing worth crapping on!

prommie May 18, 2012 at 11:13 am

You ever notice that ducks don't really seem comfortable while flying? Its like its their first time, every time, and they are just careening half out of control in a cold panic. Then they land, shake their tail, and seem to say "whoo, that was a close one."

fuflans May 18, 2012 at 11:22 am

this comment is going to keep me smiling all day.

Jus_Wonderin May 18, 2012 at 11:31 am

That is very observant of you Prommie. BTW: Have a couple of "married" ducks in our neighboorhood. The drop into the pool on occasion and are not at all poopy. It's kinda cool to have them around.

prommie May 18, 2012 at 11:36 am

I love ducks. My father used to say "Lord love a duck" all the time, I have no clue why, maybe it was a novelty song in the 1930s or something, he was also always saying mairzy doats and doesy doats, anyway, I always think of that when I see a duck. Horny fuckers, though, and the males are rapers.

Lascauxcaveman May 18, 2012 at 11:43 am

The internets have only tentative help on the origins of that phrase. It appears in Joyce, Eliot and Wodehouse writings in the 20s and 30s, but not really any idea on what it's supposed to mean.

For some reason, I always thought that was one of those things Groucho made up.

Chet Kincaid May 18, 2012 at 11:53 am

Jesus Christ, we are easily distracted!

natoslug May 18, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Funny, my grandfather used to say "Fuck a Duck!" but this was usually while he was blind drunk in his recliner, baseball game blaring on the radio, burnt out cigarette between his remaining fingers sprouting 2 inches or so of ash. Since his baseball-listening uniform consisted of a white t-shirt and a pair of not-so-clean boxers and nothing else, I was kind of glad he was too drunk to stand most of the time.

TootsStansbury May 18, 2012 at 12:20 pm

I love this whole conversation.

Edit – except for that last bit. Gaaaaa!

DerrickWildcat May 18, 2012 at 11:01 am

Not all the Ricketts. Laura Ricketts, Joe Rickett's daughter, is a lady Homo and also part owner of the Cubs. She's a card carrying member of the vast LBGT agenda community and quite likes the Obama.

Chet Kincaid May 18, 2012 at 11:54 am

She has fundraised for him. And Tom, the baseball-clueless Ricketts who is running the Cubs, has repudiated his father and said he wants nothing to do with politics. All for that sweet, Illinois Green!

mrpuma2u May 18, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Well mebbe Joe caught his soshulizm gubmint bailout handout tendencies from hanging around her too much. Fucking hypocrite asswipe spoiled rich kid Joe, all "NOBAMAZ" but with his lily white uncalloused baby soft hand out for taxpayer money.

Chet Kincaid May 18, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Joe is the Patriarch, Laura's his daughter. I'm sure he earned his batshit bigotry the Old Fashioned Way.

nounverb911 May 18, 2012 at 11:02 am

What do the World Series and a polar bear on birth control have in common?

THEY CAN'T HAVE CUBS!

mrpuma2u May 18, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Ya know CUBS is an acronym.
Completely Useless By September

DaRooster May 18, 2012 at 11:02 am

"And so it was on May 17, 2012, that Rahm Emanuel made the Ricketts family his bitch for life"

Be careful with that Chicago Style "business".

SexySmurf May 18, 2012 at 11:02 am

Joe Ricketts is fucking retarded.

deanbooth May 18, 2012 at 11:15 am

And he just bought a Senate candidate in Nebraska.

This is just so depressing. Must… retain… hope.

DerrickWildcat May 18, 2012 at 11:22 am

Not yet he didn't. In fact Ricketts may have given up that Senate Seat by now allowing Bob Kerrey to get back into the race. Kerrey didn't have much of a chance against total dick, Bruning. But he does have a chance against mostly unknown Deb Fischer. Now that she is the GOP candidate, she's gonna have to start talking to the press.
We may have a Christine O'Donnell/Sharon Angle thing brewing here in Nebraska.

deanbooth May 18, 2012 at 11:29 am

That's what I'm hoping — that she's a witch!

weejee May 18, 2012 at 11:22 am

You pulled the trіgger and used the 'R' word.

imissopus May 18, 2012 at 12:06 pm

HOW DID YOU DO THAT???!!!!1111!!

fuflans May 18, 2012 at 12:31 pm

right? i got deleted for using it on this very post.

Jim Newell May 18, 2012 at 1:10 pm

come on man, why do you do this to me

natoslug May 18, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Rules are meant to be broken. Or at least tested.

Gratuitous World May 18, 2012 at 11:03 am

As a self-loathing Cubs fan, I have to say that public funds for reconstruction of a ballpark that was crumbling when they purchased it should definitely be prioritized ahead of state pensions and broke public schools.

but only as long as they get rid of, "go Cubs Go," the most embarrassing song in sports.

SayItWithWookies May 18, 2012 at 11:14 am

but only as long as they get rid of, "go Cubs Go," the most embarrassing song in sports.

I can only assume you've never heard "Hail to the Redskins."

prommie May 18, 2012 at 11:23 am

Fly Iggles Fly. Its right up there with "Let The Eagle Soar."

WunkRocker May 18, 2012 at 11:55 am

All pale compared to "Miami has the Dolphins, the greatest football team, they take the ball from goal to goal, like no one's ever seen. They're in the air, they're on the ground. They're always in control. And when you say Miami, you're talking superbowl." Until that cheapskate Robbi refuse to buy the rights and the Oilers nabbed. "Houston Oilers, Houston Oilers, Houston Oilers Number ONE!!!"

PubOption May 18, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Dolphins in the air and on the ground? Someone was smoking something powerful.

Chet Kincaid May 18, 2012 at 11:58 am

Is that to the tune of that "Fly Robin Fly" disco song?

Flying fowl is our theme today!

prommie May 18, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Play Freebird!

bikerlaureate May 18, 2012 at 12:51 pm

And yet no mention of Disco Duck…

BerkeleyBear May 18, 2012 at 11:15 am

How about making it a crime to fly those dumbass W flags all over town? We get it, your shitty team actually didn't lose today – but do we have to have a damn parade for it?

Nopantsmcgee May 18, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Oh jesus. As a long-suffering Cubs fan I can't upvote this more if I was a Chicago Alderman.

lochnessmonster May 18, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Go Cubs Go may not be the best fight song but it was written by the number 1 Cubs fan, Steve Goodman a beloved Chicago songwriter. He died of cancer loving his Cubbies and was finally able to have his ashes place inside the park.

I for one am a die hard White Sox fan, but I loved Steve and his humorous and serious music.

George Spelvin May 18, 2012 at 6:36 pm

So, you're a regular fellow with the chicken cordon blues?

Jus_Wonderin May 18, 2012 at 11:03 am

Okay, not so much a sports fan here so that might color my thoughts on this but…I don't think local governments should be giving any incentives to build/refurbish sports stadiums.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 18, 2012 at 11:11 am

Commie.

prommie May 18, 2012 at 11:17 am

Hell, here in Jersey the gubmint builds malls and casinos!

Gratuitous World May 18, 2012 at 11:12 am

Why do you hate America?

prommie May 18, 2012 at 11:14 am

Sports teams are poor people who need welfare, too. It balances things out and makes it fair.

SorosBot May 18, 2012 at 11:15 am

And yet, they always do, under threats by the ownership to move the team.

Jus_Wonderin May 18, 2012 at 11:19 am

True. True. America's Team, the Dallas Cowboys are now, really, the Arlington Cowboys.

weejee May 18, 2012 at 11:24 am

Thought the Cowboys were Post Office heroes from America's Most Wanted?

Jus_Wonderin May 18, 2012 at 11:27 am

That too. Also.

SorosBot May 18, 2012 at 11:28 am

Here the Flyers and 76ers got the city to build their new stadium, the CoreStates First Union Wachovia Wells Fargo Center, by threatening to move across the river to fucking Camden.

Lascauxcaveman May 18, 2012 at 11:49 am

the Dallas Cowboys are now, really, the Arlington Cowboys.

And they got one hella amazing stadium now, too.

WunkRocker May 18, 2012 at 12:01 pm

In all honesty, having to listen one more morning in on NPR about Roger Clemmons (sp? who cares?) 'roid usage trial… I think like marriage, it should be forced to be gay only and by GOD they should have to take every steroid available or be fined, fired, and given a swirlie in the locker room. I'd chip-in extra taxes for that. Otherwise those idiots should be mowing my lawn and fixing my roof.

BerkeleyBear May 18, 2012 at 11:20 am

There are arguments for civic involvement with stadia. For example, getting the SB in Indy definitely increased the city/county tax revenue for what would ordinarily be a down time, and the event was done well enough that it probably has a residual effect on convention business. And, in the case of the nasty RCA dome, tearing it down was necessary to expand the convention center, which had become too small for a lot of the big groups that Indy likes to try and get business from.

All that said, I think the proposals are almost never as good for the city as for private ownership, and that is ass backwards from my perspective. But that's what love does to you, and fan love is enough to raise or dash a politician's dreams (Martha Coakley).

Jim Newell May 18, 2012 at 11:34 am

I understand why cities are coerced into handing out cash when, say, a team is moving or an expansion team is coming into play and so the competing cities engage in a pathetic race-to-the-bottom. But usually things like this, hundreds of millions to touch up a stadium during rough economic times and budget cuts, are politically toxic. Anyhoo not my problem.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 18, 2012 at 11:57 am

I just like that you said "stadia"

HateMachine May 18, 2012 at 11:36 am

Take it from a long-time Civilization 5 player, if you don't spend gubmint lucre on colosseums, theaters, and stadiums, you just bought an impending riot. Fuck religion, sports is the opiate of the masses.

Of course, none of those stadiums' asshole owners rolled up to me and begged for cash to upgrade them, and my response would probably have been to glance thoughtfully at the "Raze City" button.

Lascauxcaveman May 18, 2012 at 11:53 am

It has a "Raze City" button? That sounds like a cool game.

WunkRocker May 18, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Don't Raze me, bro.

HateMachine May 18, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Other highlights include whatever nation you're playing having the organization, decisiveness, and focus of a monarchy/dictatorship despite allegedly being a democracy, and also picking one of the non-European civs and burning down all the imperialist ones.

sewollef May 18, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Can we us that "Raze City" button on Washington DC? Like, before November rolls around.

I'm not sure I can take many more of Mittens moronic mouthfuls.

HateMachine May 18, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Sadly, it's only available for cities, you, um, acquired secondhand. And no civilization capitals can be burned, either. D.C. remains unfortunately immortal.

I do enjoy sacking the living shit out of it, though.

Generation[redacted] May 18, 2012 at 12:27 pm

I prefer the dinosaur attack, myself.

CrankyLttlCamperette May 18, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Dinosaurs? Wow, Civ has much improved since I played last…

Negropolis May 19, 2012 at 1:30 am

So, when did you join Al Qaeda, my friend?

randcoolcatdaddy May 18, 2012 at 11:04 am

I always fall down sobbing on my fainting couch when thinking about big steroid freaks cracking their baseball bats on balls.

ManchuCandidate May 18, 2012 at 11:04 am

"You wanna know how I got Ricketts? They pushed a taxpayer funded ballpark deal, I pulled a Fabius the Delayer. He starts "You know the Preznit is a NEARER" ad campaign, I sent that plan right to the morgue. *That's* the *Chicago* way! And that's how you fuck Ricketts."

mavenmaven May 18, 2012 at 11:05 am

Good for him, why must it always be the Repubs who get to win in situations like this?

sewollef May 18, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Agreed. Rahm sounds like a complete a-hole to work for, but I think you'd want him on your side in a political 'punch-up'.

That not-so-secret admiration for someone going for the jugular — and righteously so — is sweet.

Gratuitous World May 18, 2012 at 11:06 am

Also, Curt Schilling hates bailouts, unless it's for him.

ManchuCandidate May 18, 2012 at 11:08 am
nounverb911 May 18, 2012 at 11:08 am

Needs more ketchup in his socks.

boobookitteh May 18, 2012 at 11:23 am

I feel badly for Rhode Island, but I'm kind of enjoying this story. Schilling is such an ass.

Lascauxcaveman May 18, 2012 at 11:58 am

What I don't get is why the Rhodies thought the ability to to throw a ball really, really hard would indicate potential success in the video game biz?

boobookitteh May 18, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Rhode Island is a little state with a lot of corruption. Sadly, the Gov that okayed this is no longer in office. the guy in charge of the program resigned the other day. It's just a huge fricking mess and RI is in the crapper economically as it is.

The best part of this story is how MA Gov Patrick told Schilling no to this stupid scheme and Schilling actually campaigned against him based on it saying he was anti-business. No, Curt, he's anti-stupid-not well thought out business with no reasonble business plan. Jackass.

weejee May 18, 2012 at 11:25 am

Thought when he pitched inside that a bailout was what he was looking for.

ManchuCandidate May 18, 2012 at 11:07 am

Joe Ricketts is definitely the owner of the Cubs. Just absolutely amazing. Up there with the BillyGoat Curse, Dusty Baker's abuse of Prior and Woods, Bartman and the trade of Lou Brock.

MissNancyPriss May 18, 2012 at 11:47 am

I have a lot of googling to do.

anniegetyerfun May 18, 2012 at 12:22 pm

"Just absolutely amazing."

That was all I understood.

Chet Kincaid May 18, 2012 at 12:24 pm

It's just a lot of Cubs fan pissing and moaning.

Chet Kincaid May 18, 2012 at 12:06 pm

What I've read is that he does NOT own the Cubs, he just likes to go around saying that he does. It's his kids who own the Cubs through a trust that he set up for them.

AddHomonym May 18, 2012 at 11:08 am

Hey Rahm, if Tom Ricketts were a hot dog, would ya eat him?

Clancy_Pants May 18, 2012 at 11:09 am

Sometimes it's good to have a whining, juvenile delinquent prone to temper tantrums in charge.

fuflans May 18, 2012 at 11:39 am

yeah, this is pretty amusing. and sure as hell more interesting than the non stop nato street closure coverage we've been subjected to.

Chet Kincaid May 18, 2012 at 12:12 pm

My ride into work on the Metra Electric was dead boring this morning! None of the martial law restrictions go into effect until Saturday, but it looks like a shitload of people took off work anyway, because passengers were sparser than usual. Mrs. Kincaid called me while I was walking from Millenium Station to work, breathlessly expecting tales of air strikes and Street Fightin' Men, but the streets were quiet as of 9:10. My job is closing its office Monday and making us work from home, and woe be unto anybody caught on social media at Wrigley Field or some shit.

fuflans May 18, 2012 at 12:37 pm

mine was dead boring too.

well, except i'm on the metra NORTH to EVANSTON.

nothing happens in evanston.

even though i'm next door to murkowski's office. and even tho we had protesters (4) and police (4) yesterday.

still. nothing happens.

EDIT: Schakowsky, not MURKOWSKI.

Chow Yun Flat May 18, 2012 at 11:09 am

it’s totally inappropriate to publicly threaten to blow up a public financing deal because of a heat-of-the-moment personal grudge

See–even more of our precious freedoms being eroded by Obama!

ManchuCandidate May 18, 2012 at 11:12 am

Yeah I'm looking at you Newtie Toot, Michelle Bachmann, Eric Cantor, Turtle Face McGoo of Kentucky and Orange Julius Boner.

prommie May 18, 2012 at 11:09 am

I guess corporate welfare is like crack to these bold, brave billionaire jerb-creators who hate the plain old "people" welfare so much.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 18, 2012 at 11:10 am

Two livids in a single paragraph? That's more livid than anyone really needs.

(Lividor is not for everyone. Ask your doctor)

BornInATrailer May 18, 2012 at 11:10 am

This form of Ricketts is caused by a lack of vitamin Balls.

Chow Yun Flat May 18, 2012 at 11:12 am

"Maybe some of you Illinois Wonketters can help us understand how this Wrigley Field renovation is politically viable."

In Chicago zoning, tax abatements and sneaky public financing are like oil in Texas–the real basis for everyone's wealth and power.

IonaTrailer May 18, 2012 at 2:31 pm

And there is now proof Bin Laden and Zukari are dead – they voted in the last Chicago election.

(Signed, former Hyde Park gal)

Doktor StrangeZoom May 18, 2012 at 11:14 am

Begin the thawing of Harry Caray!

Chet Kincaid May 18, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Stacey King, ebullient announcer for the now-playoff-defunct Bulls (alas, poor Derrick!!), is the new Harry Caray and King of the Colorful Catch-Phrase.

tessiee May 18, 2012 at 2:53 pm
ZHollows May 18, 2012 at 11:14 am

Like I said yesterday, Ricketts might want to consider spending some of his billions of dollars he has on a winning fucking Cubs team.

JustPixelz May 18, 2012 at 11:15 am

Perhaps Mr. Ricketts can redeem things with the advertising strategy I've proposed in "The Defeat of the Chicago Hussein Cubs". It's kinda easy since (I'm told) the Cubs are self-defeating.

DerrickWildcat May 18, 2012 at 11:16 am

Here's some more fun Rickets fun.
Pete Ricketts, son of Joe Ricketts, thought he'd make a much better Nebraska Senator than Grumpy old Ben Nelson so he ran against him in 2006. Pete spent over 11 million dollars of his own money (a 10-1 advantage over Nelson) and even had Bush attend a Ricketts rally in Grand Island, Ne the day before the election.
This did not help.
Ben Nelson still smashed Pete. Pete only won a few Cowboy counties in Western Nebraska. Some of those counties out there have so few people that you could probably invite them all to a cookout in your backyard.

FlownOver May 18, 2012 at 12:28 pm

It takes a special level of assholery to make Ben Nelson the more acceptable alternative. He's the Joe Manchin of the Great Plains.

SayItWithWookies May 18, 2012 at 11:17 am

Awww, poor Rickettses — can't insult the public sector and suck at their teat at the same time? Birtherism has consequences, bitches.

SorosBot May 18, 2012 at 11:17 am

Considering that the Cubs are Chicago's team for the rich white suburbanites and North Siders, while the White Sox are the team for the working class and minorities, it's no surprised that they're owned by a family of crazed wingnut billionaires.

fartknocker May 18, 2012 at 11:17 am

Down here in little Austin, Texas, I recall when a particular City Councilman attempted to make an emergency funding declaration to build the junior league team of the Texas Rangers a stadium. It pissed off so many people that petitions were signed and a ballot initiative was passed that told City Council that we local yokals were not building anyone a sports stadium. We also voted out said douchbag Councilman.

Round Rock decided they wanted the baseball stadium, and they funded it with tax dollars. The locals are pissing an moaning over there property taxes now that they want to spend another $35 million on some "upgrades."

Fuck everyone of these sports team owners. They can go talk to Mitt about setting up their own financing, since Mitt really cares about helping build the economy.

prommie May 18, 2012 at 11:19 am

Hell hath no fury like a little tiny tough guy scorned. The tiny little tough guys, they are as barky as terriers.

By the way, anyone ever seen Rahm and The Situation in the same room together?

DemmeFatale May 18, 2012 at 5:25 pm

I call my terrier little Napoleon, (another tiny little tough guy)!

PeaceWithHonor May 18, 2012 at 11:19 am

The Avenger

radio-of-owls May 18, 2012 at 11:19 am

Cry baby cry
Stick Rahm's half-finger in your eye
Tell your mother it wasn't I.

Not_So_Much May 18, 2012 at 11:21 am

Then man is, in fact, a nine-and-a-half-fingered douchenozzle. But he's a damned effective one.

Chet Kincaid May 18, 2012 at 12:21 pm

In the White House, not so much. And the jury's out on Chicago.

Not_So_Much May 18, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Well, he made shit happen in the WH. Maybe not what everyone (anyone?) else wanted, and scorched nearly everyone on his way through. But my impression was that he was better at flogging their caucus to stop being pussies than anyone that's been there since.

I got nothin' on Chicago, except I love their pizza, the Jazz Festival and Wrigley.

DemmeFatale May 18, 2012 at 5:30 pm

I heard that he was considered a "Clinton guy," and not given the freedom to act because of this. (And I was so looking forward to a good ass-kicking!)

TheGyrus May 18, 2012 at 11:24 am

"Tell you what, Cubs…. We'll kick in for your stadium just as soon as you guys win the World Series."

fuflans May 18, 2012 at 11:27 am

this is fucking r&t&rded.

Lucidamente1 May 18, 2012 at 11:27 am

Maybe Biden could mediate.

WunkRocker May 18, 2012 at 12:44 pm

I think this calls for parachuting Blago in there.

Wonderthing May 18, 2012 at 11:28 am

Oh, Chicago, that toddling town. I saw a man there once. He danced with his wife. Made me pretty fucking livid. In a tranquil way.

Callyson May 18, 2012 at 11:30 am

When your team has an even worse record than my hopeless hometown Pirates, you've got bigger problems than Rahm – bo…

SorosBot May 18, 2012 at 11:33 am

Another fun fact about Ricketts:
http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2012/05/the-c

"Ricketts solidified his status as a campaign finance heavyweight when spent $600,000 in the last month of the election to try to take down Sen. Harry Reid (D-Nev.) … Ricketts is sick and tired of wasteful spending"

fuflans May 18, 2012 at 11:35 am

Maybe some of you Illinois Wonketters can help us understand how this Wrigley Field renovation is politically viable.

apparently if we didn't have the fucking cubs – snarling up the entire fucking north side of the city every other afternoon from april until fucking september we wouldn't have a sufficient quota of momma's little meat heads barfing on the fucking curb on clark street and yelling gay slurs while YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO GET TO THE FUCKING THEATRE FOR YOUR 6:00 CALL – our economy would be fucked.

anniegetyerfun May 18, 2012 at 12:28 pm

This actually explains everything very succinctly – thank you!

Designer_Rants May 18, 2012 at 11:40 am

Emanuel said, “I’ll have some conversations on that later — comments, rather.”

We haz helpful comments!

MissTaken May 18, 2012 at 11:52 am

It's a sad day in America when rich people don't get their taxpayer gifts just for acting like petulant little children.

SorosBot May 18, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Seriously, why are our rich people acting like such whiny little babies these days? Just the littlest bit of criticism and start crying about how their fee-fees are all hurt.

MissTaken May 18, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Waaahhhh! Gimme me money or I'm gonna take my ball and go home. Waaaahhh!

Generation[redacted] May 18, 2012 at 11:56 am

Maybe Bain Capital can give them some of that private sector financing.

Chet Kincaid May 18, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Not to wear out the "Game Of Thrones" analogy, but the schemes, machinations and familial feuds of American Oligarchs, from Nebraska to Illinois, sure are fascinating. I hear the Pritzkers are raising an army and marching on Wrigley Field.

larrykat May 18, 2012 at 12:06 pm

As if I needed another reason to hate the fucking Cubs. Go Brewers.

illnoise May 18, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Hello? All of Chicago has already forgotten about this because, um, NATO and poop-throwers?

illnoise May 18, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Also, nothing about the Cubs is in any way viable on paper, yet they rake in cash.

imissopus May 18, 2012 at 12:15 pm

I have very much lost track of where we are in the process, but there are plans afoot to build a football stadium in downtown L.A. in the hope of attracting an NFL team here. This would of course involve some form of public financing at a time when the city is so broke the mayor is talking about layoffs of city staff and pension cuts and the state is so broke the governor is talking about tax increases and further cuts to the already-decimated and once-proud UC and CS systems. And yet the city fathers are desperate to do something that might result in the Jacksonville Jaguars playing downtown eight Sundays out of the year. Woo-hoo.

Chet Kincaid May 18, 2012 at 12:46 pm

On the other hand, "The Los Angeles Jags" seems somehow fitting.

natoslug May 18, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Doesn't L.A. have the Rams? It's been a while since I (willingly) watched sports, but I distinctly remember watching a Rams game.

imissopus May 18, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Nah, the Rams went to St. Louis around '95, at the same time the Raiders went back to Oakland. Because it's the second-largest media market the NFL has long wanted to get a team back here, but no one has been able to put together a workable deal for a stadium (there is the L.A. Coliseum but it's old and would have to be shared with USC, among other issues). The irony is that I doubt a majority of Angelenos care – if the Rams or Raiders came back some of their old fans would get excited, but everyone else is just kind of meh.

IonaTrailer May 18, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Btw – LA City voted themselves raises a year ago. Now, curiously that is the exact amount they are in the red.

anniegetyerfun May 18, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Our Seattle City government is working with some rich guys to bring a new NBA/NHL stadium to our fine city. It doesn't sound like the public is particularly psyched (only, like, 100 people were really sad when the Sonics left us), but the government is pushing ahead anyway. They keep stressing that the stadium is a self-funding project, but I refuse to believe that this is a possibility.

UW8316154 May 18, 2012 at 1:13 pm

McSchwinn in slathering at the opportunity for another stadium, but doesn't seem to have a problem with Seattle Police's use of force and racial profiling to keep people in check. He's all over Hansen's dick, but tells the DOJ to eff off.

The mayor supports bike lanes and stadius (which noone wants), but stands up to the DOJ while he flirts with the Police Union, when average Joes are just hoping to be able to walk through a crosswalk without being shot by a cop.

anniegetyerfun May 18, 2012 at 1:58 pm

I can't even remember who I voted for in the mayoral election, but I know that every time I hear our illustrious leader whining endlessly on our local NPR station, I vow that my next vote will NOT be for him.

Wile E. Quixote May 18, 2012 at 2:12 pm

McGinn is such a useless piece of shit that people in Seattle are nostalgic for Greg Nickels. I think that the whole stadium deal is just a desperate gambit to draw attention away from the fact that McGinn has been a complete failure as mayor and that he's only supported by the editorial staff at The Stranger and the Cascade Bicycle Club.

bagofmice May 18, 2012 at 4:06 pm

As a biker in Seattle, I appreciate the lanes. Dexter is awesome. However, we have two stadiums and an arena or two. Wouldn't a remodel for Ballmer be cheaper?

UW8316154 May 18, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Well, yes, Dexter is an example of a good bike lane, and I don't want you to get hurt, BagofMice.

But those "bike boxes" – is that what they are, the green squares on Capital Hill? – and very confusing symbols and instructions painted all over the streets (see Howell street for example) drive me nuts.

Chet Kincaid May 18, 2012 at 12:39 pm

In addition to NATO, this is the first weekend of the Crosstown Series between the Cubs and White Sox, so now there's even more reason to hope for a savage Cubbie beatdown by da sout'siders.

banana_bread May 18, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Here's my Chicagoan two cents: the Cubs could be playing on a field of broken glass, but as long as they serve beer, morons will pay ridiculous prices to get drunk and hook up at/around Wrigley. I see no reason to give them taxpayer money on top of that.

Oh, and GO SOX

ttommyunger May 18, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Nice to know everything is so fiscally smooth and under control in Chi-Town that they can devote their energies to financing such banal trivia as professional sports stadiums renovation. Now if only they could share their secret of success with the rest of the Country.

tessiee May 18, 2012 at 2:55 pm

"Rahm Emanuel Has Been Locked In His Bedroom, Sobbing, For 24 Hours"

Because he's a 15-year-old girl?
[screams] "Why does everybody think I'm fat??? I HATE THIS HOUSE!!!"
*runs up stairs*
*slams door*
*blares music*

Robman2 May 18, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Rickets, scurvy, bites from parasites, the social welfare afforded "Sports" porn purveyors like team owners…what's next, importing plants to mother England.

Dr. Nick Riviera May 18, 2012 at 4:57 pm

In general, many of the douchiest folks on the North side are Cubs fans. By all means, not all Cubs fans are douches, but 9 out of 10 douches are cubs fans. They're the types that own season tickets, only show up for half of the games and when they do show up, they show up late and leave early. They don't care whether the team wins or loses, as long as they have somewhere to get their drink on. Why hasn't this teabagger appealed to the charitable nature of these job creators?

glamourdammerung May 18, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Rahm is just ending the spending.

sbj1964 May 18, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Ron, Momma said there would be days like today.Heavy flow is what the GOP is known for.

rickmaci May 18, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Welfare for the rich. Government gives the richey rich owner of a sports team $300 million but can't afford inner city school programs.

And the richey rich guy has a cool $10mil laying around to give to some ad agency hound to make up lying lies for false TV ads about the president.

The whole thing stinks.

fitley May 18, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Chicago never has had much use for Republicans. Still doesn't. If Ricketts has so much money to blow, let him blow it on his ball park.

FlownOver May 18, 2012 at 11:58 am

Good thought, what with the Groucho/duck connection on "You Bet Your Life," but I think the Series of Tubes is right about the Brits/Micks were involved with the origin of the phrase.

Lizzie?

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