Joe The Plumber Explains To Stupid Hippie Why Paying Taxes Is Cool (VIDEO)

Hey stupid Occupy hippie! Why don't you love paying taxes, like "Joe" "the Plumber" does? Taxes are cool, they pay for parks and police! Also, it is your patriotic duty to pay your fair share and not, say, divert all your "bread" (that is "money" in hippie language) to your accounts in the Caymans! Or maybe it is only unemployed people that Mr. The Plumber thinks should pay awesome taxes, not job creatorslike Joe himself, who is busy creating jobs (his) by running for Congress, we guess. For a while there in Mr. The Plumber's "Fun $5 Friday" video (which you can watch below!), we were worried he was going off conservative script by going on and on and on about how he LOVES TAXES THEY ARE THE COOLEST, but then we realized nah, he doesn't REALLY love taxes, he just hates all those people who are too poor to pay them even more! Stupid freeloaders, with your signs and your demonstrating and your #Occupy movement. Don't got a job, huh? Can't "go to work," and "feed your family"? Why don't you just run for Congress and pay yourself $5,000 a month like Joe? Idiots.

Hey, you're a Mac, and he's a PC!

Now pay Joe your $5 Friday Fun tax. [ JoeForCongress ]