What is funnier than a typographical error on the front page of the N Y Times Dot Com, the Tumblr of Record? It’s great, because they’re like, “Hey, we’re the New York Times, we’re the best, feed me caviar,” and then they screw up and everyone chuckles for two seconds. Today they posted a TimesCast video about how a Super PAC was planning to personally attack Obama, and what could better complement that story than stock footage of Obama “looking slick and cocky”? (UPDATE BELOW — WE ARE DUMB — STILL SORTA FUNNY? — EHH)

Others might say he is “smiling,” but his head is sort of tilted up, and he won’t show his teeth, and he’s blah, so that must be how we get to “slick and cocky.”

Don’t worry, Times front-page slave, we all do this sometimes. Sometimes we at Wonkette post lengthy excerpts of the nastiest parts of Mein Kampf alongside the .gif of Orson Welles clapping and then have to quick scrub it before any of you see it. They were just drafts, we swear!

UPDATE: No, nevermind, the image is a screen grab from that wingnut PLAN TO DEFEAT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA storyboard that came out today. Apologies to the wonderful New York Times newspaper, which is free of error here, but took it down anyway. Your Wonkette author is a horrible person.

[Romanesko via Crasstalk]

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  • Tengu

    The Times is a porn site?

    • Really, really bad porn site.

      • Wile E. Quixote

        Yeah, if you subscribe and get in behind the paywall they have Maureen Dowd talking dirty on a webcam, a BDSM thing with Gail Collins dominating David Brooks, pictures of Ross Douthat wearing a clown suit and crying as he's being sodomized by Thomas L. Friedman, a bunch of left over horse on man porn left over from when Billy Kristol was working there and a weekly column "The Erotic Adventures of Randy Andy Rosenthal".

        • glasspusher

          Ass Masters!

    • Mahousu

      Rule 34 has officially jumped the shark.

      • tessiee

        It's also been thrown under the bus.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      There is something on the internet that is not a porn site?

  • AncienReggie

    Librul media bad.

  • Barb

    He's looking "uppity"

    • BerkeleyBear

      He always looks uppity, to the kind of jackasses who would use that term.

      • Beowoof

        Well Clarence Thomas did use the term to describe himself at the Anita Hill hearings.

    • BarbdarTFlagass

      One man's cocky is another man's uppity.

      • elfgoldsackring

        If you're lucky.

      • bflrtsplk

        Obama`s cocky is always uppity.

    • LettucePrey

      He also looks "articulate."

      • Butch_Wagstaff

        And clean.

  • sbj1964

    A picture is worth a thousand words.And maybe as many votes? Obama 2012

  • Silly Times! That's not what a slick cock looks like.

    • not that Radio

      See Prime Minister, French.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Silly Times! That's not what a slick cock looks like.

      That's what Thomas Friedman said, and then David Brooks chimed in and said "oh yeah, like you'd know what a slick cock looks like, Miss Thing!" and then they went at each other in a hair-pulling, eye-scratching, slaptacular frenzy until Paul Krugman came in, kicked both of their asses, ripped off Friedman's mustache with one mighty pull and shouted "And for fuck's sake Dowd, if you send me one more drunken text saying 'Paul, Paul, I need your hot and throbbing Keynesian man meat to fill me up and make me feel like a real woman again' you're next!"

      • "That's incredible!! What do you call your act?!"

        "The Paper Of Record."

        • Wile E. Quixote

          …and as he stormed back to his office to write yet another column proving that David Brooks' column of the day before was yet another pile of steaming horseshit, Krugman was heard to yell "Goddamnit Douthat, if there's anything I hate more than seeing a grown man cry it's seeing a grown man cry while he's furtively masturbating in a stairwell and wearing a clown suit."

      • thatsitfortheother1

        You misspelled "Kenyan."

  • edgydrifter

    Obama's expression: about to subvert the Constitution, or has just subverted the Constitution? I have a hard time reading faces sometimes.

    • tessiee

      My guess would have been:
      About to ask, "Where the white women at?"
      But yours is good, too.

  • BarbdarTFlagass

    I hope he does a Herman Cain smile soon.

    • sullivanst

      If you do it "soon", ur doing it wrong.

    • tessiee

      I hope everyone, including Herman Cain, does a Herman Cain smile, never.

    • glasspusher

      Is it possible to be a leader _and_ a reader? A nation waits and wonders…

  • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

    Sometimes we at Wonkette post lengthy excerpts of the classiest parts of Das Kapital alongside the .gif of Orson Welles clapping

    Aw, I miss Ken as well.

  • DrunkIrishman

    Obama smiles = too confident.

    Obama doesn't smile = he hates his job and doesn't even want to be president anymore.

    • elfgoldsackring

      Smiling, see also: lightweight fraud, disrespectful, uncaring, elitist…

      Unsmiling, see also: angry race-warrior, disrespectful, bitter, elitist….

  • didgen

    Please show me stock footage of Mitt apparently appearing fun.

    • Generation[redacted]

      See unicorns, pink invisible

    • GlowneyHouse

      There has to be footage somewhere of him firing someone.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        That happened in Kenya, and he was only 5 years old. WND has the film.

  • SorosBot

    Well I suspect most of the ladies of Wonkette, along with some of the men, would like to see photos of Obama looking cocky, if you know what I mean.

    • Limeylizzie

      Indeed we would, all cocky and erect.

      • Butch_Wagstaff

        Sexiest Prez since Taft.
        Seriously though, I have always had a weakness for smart, big-eared nerds. Just another thing that me & the First Lady have in common like being tall and having an excellent fashion sense.
        I wish, I guess. I think she has better fashion sense than me, to be honest.

        • tessiee

          "I have always had a weakness for smart, big-eared nerds."

          I heard that!

    • anniegetyerfun

      The "slick" part is fine, as well.

      • sullivanst

        Especially when a lifetime supply of olive oil was just bestowed upon the WH.

        • tessiee


  • edgydrifter

    If the soundtrack to my day-to-day activities was "Hail to the Chief," I'd probably look pretty cocky, too.

    • not that Radio

      "Hail to the Chief
      He's the Chief, and he needs Hailing"

      -Jack Lemmon or James Garner, I can't remember which

    • tessiee

      You'll just have to settle for your backup band following you around all day long and playing your superhero theme music at the appropriate moments.

      • Chichikovovich

        I just have an ipod with small speakers playing:
        "♬ wow-wow♬ He can post extended messages…. never has to break them up ♬ bam-bum♬ Bit by a radioactive copy-editor♬ wow-wow♬…. Long-text man!!"

        whenever I take my Wonkette breaks.

  • I dare The Times to find a non-"slick and cocky" picture of Willard.

    • "Pained, embarassed and full of shit" is Willard's default expression, it just never changes.

      • He always looks like a constipated Ken Doll. It's so bizarre…

        • He also looks like Jack Shephard right after Kate slaps his face, blubbering at us that we have to go back to The Island.

          • wondering where i am

            The Island would never accept anyone as dopey and clueless as Williard. No, he would have died in the crash. Not even his luggage would be any use (no drugs).

          • tessiee

            A three hour tour… a three hour tour…

        • sharethegrief

          Ken has way more charisma.

      • tessiee

        He does look pained and embarrassed — and yet, somehow, without ever ceasing to look smug and pissy. I just figured it was one of those underwear miracles.

  • not that Radio

    The Susan B. Anthony Club will be all over this. Liberal New York Times. Pfft.

    • radio-of-owls

      That's not the half of it. Wait until the Sacajawea Front finds out. There's gonna be hell to pay then.

      • not that Radio

        Lady Liberty is not amused.

        • sullivanst

          But she does have a fine rack.

          • not that Radio

            John Ashcroft would like to see that part of the coin filed down.

        • radio-of-owls

          ♫She can play Hail Columbia like anything
          Saving it up for Friday night

          With the Sultan
          With the Sultan of Muscat♫

        • Chichikovovich

          Now that's the Liberty who led the people.

          • not that Radio

            "Hey, boys! Would you like to see some boobs? Follow me!"

            (guns not included. your parents put it together.)

          • radio-of-owls

            Hooters. The Official Sponsor of the French Revolution.

          • Chichikovovich

            One of the guys in back is shouting "OOOh baby! Time to be sans – culottes!

          • not that Radio

            International chain that bills itself as "delightfully tacky yet unrefined". Features events, menu, locations, and various promotions.

            (emphasis added)

          • Chichikovovich

            …and defenestrations.

          • flamingpdog

            I nevah noticed this before, but what's with the guy with no pants (and bared nipple) in the lower left hand corner?

          • Chichikovovich

            I always figured that since he's missing his sabots and one sock as well as his pants, his body has been robbed by someone who was lacking those things. But I've never looked up an opinion from any scholar who might have an informed perspective, now that you mention it.

  • The_Lucky_Wife

    Donna Summer died today.

    My insurance went up.

    I fell on the way to get the mail (just a few scrapes and bruised dignity).

    Then I come here and see this. Somehow my day seems better now. I must like "slick and cocky."

    • Then you must be bona fide wonketteer. I just now pulled up the homepage, saw "UPDATE: NEVERMIND" and about fell off my chair at this Newellesque headliner.
      I must've really needed to laugh. Now I guess I better go actually read the story.

      • radio-of-owls

        If you need another laugh, and who doesn't, here's a couple of actual answers from the weenies in my Intro to Comparative Politics class. Sheer brilliance.

        Q: What is 'particularism'?
        A: The degree to which a part of an icular is ismed.
        A: An ideology that's really nitpicky.

        Q: What is a 'tributary economy'?
        A: Where anonymous pleasants pay tributaires to the landers.

        • My word. I can only imagine what you run across in their essay answers!

          This *did* make me laugh- – and it better not get d*e*l*e*t*e*d just cause it was O/T. I posted a comment, new, downthread that was admittedly O/T and off it went into the black hole. I was trying to share what Lewis Black quipped as a contestant on tonight's JEapordy Power-Players regarding our political parties. Your reply here delivering Q&A on the heels of my beloved game/trivia show deserves to stay~

          • radio-of-owls

            I'm glad…you deserve a laugh! :)

          • Chichikovovich

            Stuff gets dëlétèd for being off-topic? Or for containing the d-word? Man, have I been living dangerously without realizing it.

          • LetUsBray

            I thought when stuff here got deleted it was because, well, just think of a certain Palin offspring as He Who Must Not Be Named, Even When It's Embedded In A Larger Word.

          • Chichikovovich

            I know about that one. The message I replied to indicated that messages can be deleted for being off-topic, and I was curious to know if that is really so. [I understand, of course, long paranoid, seemly crazy rambles from scary people, etc. might go, of course.]

          • At the time I posted conjecturing this, I had lost the original comment of course, and didn't feel like sifting through my memory-bank to determine which, if *any*, off-limits words or letter-strings could have tr!ggered the spam filter (is that the name for it?). I was in a flurry of doings as I saw his reply and shot back from the hip, rather unceremoniously I suppose, "blargh blargh, I got-deleted, harrumph!"

            Let's see…*searches memory*– "Lewis" ; "Black"; "Republican"; "fictional character"; "Democrats" ; "turtle on its back". Great joke, eh Mr. Black? now that I've vivisected the bitch. I can't find anything verboten embedded in what I'd said, so far. Maybe I should just be honored to join the league of aborted comments from earlier today.

          • George Spelvin

            Occasionally, I will have a comment dba (where, presumably, a = robot rather than live admin), and I cannot see why — I think I'm aware of the known tripwire words.

            I just chalk it up to quantum.

          • sullivanst

            If you ever saw the comment content after submitting it, it wasn't the autodelete for saying something containing the letters of grit rearranged. If it was there and then later vanished, that's human intervention – perhaps you've been very naughty and must be punished.

          • UW8316154

            * jealous *

        • Chichikovovich

          Thanks for the chuckle. The tributary economy answer is just wonderful.

          • radio-of-owls

            Oh, I have lots of them. Por ejemplo…

            Q: What is ‘civil society’?
            A: A society who is on thair best behavior

            NOTE: this was not a joke answer, she was completely serious.

          • Chichikovovich

            Boy, is she in for a shock if she ever meets any civil engineers.

            Q: Should there be civil unions?
            A: Absolutely there should be more of them. When parents fight it is so hard on the kids.

          • not that Radio

            Civil Engineers build targets.

          • radio-of-owls

            Don't be so abstruse.

          • not that Radio

            Mechanical Engineers destroy them.

          • radio-of-owls

            Granted, but these guys seem seemly.

          • Chichikovovich

            Beware! They may look friendly, but you can just bet they're itching to get you to join a trade union.

          • not that Radio

            The CCC Cabin on Sandia Crest is lovely to visit. Probably see some Pinon Jays while you're there.

          • flamingpdog

            Oh, Jeeze, Chich, I was having a laugh a minute until I saw the words "civil engineer". I've spent the last 32 and a half years working with civil engineers, 5 days a week, 52 weeks a year, and not being a civil engineer myself, I think you can see why I hate the world, even if you forget about all the extraneous Raygun, Boosh, Clington, and Duhmbya stuff in the meantime. Glad I bought a couple of six packs last night.

          • Chichikovovich

            Oh dear – sorry to have set off a PTSD episode. Jump down to Not that Radio's comment on the Susan B. Anthony Club and the subsequent thread to get a few chuckles to help you forget.

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      Heard Summer on the radio as a wee little gay. When I had money to buy my first stereo system back in the late 1980s, I found her greatest hits collection "On the Radio: Volumes 1 & 2" at a local thrift store (on vinyl) and would play it over & over. I'm sure it horrified my parents because it confirmed that what they had suspected.
      Still, it bothers me that most of stories about her death just mention her as a "disco" singer. She actually had an incredible voice.

      • radio-of-owls

        I heard Donna on the radio as a not so wee breeder. In fact, I undoubtedly did some horrifying version of The Hustle to Hot Stuff in a stunning burgundy tux at the prom.

        Seriously, this is a bit odd, but I've always lurved Gay Culture (oh lord, I'm sure that's grossly offensive), even though my peen points toward the vag side of the compass. Spent a lot of time tooling around Provincetown all through my teens and early twenties, maybe I was hoping someone would give me an Honorary Degree in Teh Ghey. I've always wondered if this was odd or whether there are other hets that truly dig the music, style, culture of your team.

        Ah, perhaps this has strayed a bit. So, um, Stupid Righteous NYT!!

        • No, no worries on the O/T. I really couldn't think what else might've made it [mine] go the way of the Deleted. Was too lazy &/or memory-bankrupt to do an instant replay and locate the offending morpheme… And, as if this hadn't been misleading a comment of mine enough: I welcomed the laugh from you that I solicited, but in fact my day had begun to brighten just before seeing your reply: I got a letter in the mail from a much missed friend, if you know who I mean, and I think you do~

          • radio-of-owls

            I do and I'm thrilled.
            And, of course, curious.
            We strigiforms are like that, you know.

    • bagofmice

      Breakcore gives me wood – Donna summer

  • BlueStateLibel

    It's actually the Times FORECAST – that's the look you're going to see on his face next November as he listens to Mitt Rmoney's concession speech.

  • "BO looking slick and cocky", that's what upsets the tiny dicked wingtards the most… oh and the fact he's a slick talker.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      You forgot to mention that they're also constantly obsessing over the size of his stimulus package and how it's too big.

  • fartknocker

    I thought GWB looked pretty cocky when he was standing on the flight deck of a USN aircraft carrier in a flight suit telling all of America that the mission in the Middle East was accomplished.

    My president didn't look cocky when he announced the death of Osama Bin Laden and that the intelligence community has been disabling terrorist threats.

    I know who I'm voting for.

    • BarbdarTFlagass

      And my president still had the bigger "package" even without using a codpiece.

    • Steverino247

      Oh,, and let's not forget that said aircraft carrier was delayed a week for that little stunt just off shore from San Diego. They kept a fucking aircraft carrier at sea for a week for that photo op! Most of the escorts got to go home and I'm pretty sure the air group had left, but the ship was beyond the visible horizon from San Diego and couldn't come in until it was over. What an asshole!

  • Sassomatic

    I want to see the stock footage of Michelle looking "lusty and agressive." HOT.

  • At least the Times exposure foiled Ricketts and his cunning plan to smear Barry with Rev. Wright stuff.
    I wonder if this will affect sales of Cubs tickets and TD Ameritrade?

    • sullivanst

      Ricketts cunning plan is facepalmingly awful.

      • The_Lucky_Wife

        Yeah – demonizing Wright didn't work so well in 2008.

      • According to the second link, he's denying that he's behind the Wright plan, even though he (reading between the lines) hates Obama. Fuck him and the Cubs anyway.

        • sullivanst

          Yeah, now that it's been revealed to be fucking stupid, it wasn't anything to do with him, honest.

          He wasn't the "author" of the proposal, he merely commissioned it. He didn't "fund" it, he just formed a funded a SuperPAC which did. Mr. Ricketts rejects that approach to politics, except when he said McCain should've pursued it and lost because he didn't (shyeah, right). It wasn't a "plan to be accepted", just a storyboard pending approval for production into a video. Fucking lies, all of it.

          • Who has hurt you so badly, that you cannot trust anymore?! (AOT,K!)

        • miss_grundy

          That's because POTUS is a White Sox fan 'cause he lived on the South Side. And they WON a World Series, doncha know.

        • James Michael Curley

          And the so called 'plan' got aired on several of the all news stations several times. Now that he is denying it, it will get aired again as the talking blowholes fill another news cycle of irrelevant but ratings driven so-called news.

      • anniegetyerfun

        I like how the Times article begins with "A group of high-profile Republican strategists is working with a conservative billionaire on a proposal to mount one of the most provocative campaigns of the “super PAC” era and attack President Obama in ways that Republicans have so far shied away from."

        YES. Because they never even TALKED about Wright before. Thank goodness they are now free to run with this topic.

    • Chichikovovich

      I would like to hope that Cubs fans would stay away from Wrigley Field, stop buying Cubs gear, etc. until this guy sells the club. But I'm realistic about the slim chances, since I knew an AC Milan supporter who was as left-wing as anyone I've ever known, and who couldn't bring himself to stop howling like an orang-outan in the throes of orgasm every time they scored, even though Berlusconi owned the team. And believe me, he tried to quit them.

      • Why would you think there are no right-wing Cubs fans?

        • Chichikovovich

          Sorry – I neglected to say explicitly "non-wingnut Cubs fans (who must number in the dozens, at least)".

      • sullivanst

        When the fanbase fills the stadium every game after over a century of suckage, the team being owned by an asshole wingnut probably isn't gonna keep them away.

        • Sad, but true.
          Mr. Fatale has tried and tried to change his allegiance to the Buffalo Bills (tee-hee!), but cannot. Years of conditioning, and the fact that he was born there, have made him a long-suffering fan.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    "Footage of MITT looking like spoiled homophobic frat boy. EXISTING STOCK"

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Other captions the Times has over pictures of President Obama in their stock footage vault.

    "Footage of BO looking articulate and bright and clean"
    "Footage of BO looking insufficiently bipartisan"
    "Footage of BO that makes Kathleen Parker clutch her pearls"
    "Footage of BO that makes Kathleen Parker clutch something else, not her pearls, although she is probably thinking about a 'pearl necklace' while she does so"
    "Footage of BO that makes Dinesh D'Souza clutch his pearls and write stupid editorials about BO being Kenyan and anti-colonial"
    "Footage of BO that makes Dinesh D'Souza clutch something else, not his pearls, although he is probably thinking about a 'pearl necklace' while he does so"
    "Footage of BO looking like he's got tight pussy, loose shoes and a warm place to shit"

    • Dinesh D'Souza, the other "Little Brown Self-Hating Machine" of the Right.

      • Wile E. Quixote

        You forgot Bobby Jindal. I've heard that his self-hatred is positively volcanic.

        • tessiee

          And Michelle Malkin, also too.

        • OKthennext

          Jindal's volcanic self-loathing is so great that it cannot be monitored.

  • Antispandex

    It's Ok, you're a girl. You probably fell for that, "I promise I'll pull it out" line once or twice too. Have a beer, and a nap.

    • George Spelvin

      You do know this was Newell?

      • Antispandex

        DAMN! Missed that….

        • not that Radio

          Newell probably fell for it, too.

  • glamourdammerung

    But I thought the media was "in the tank" for President Obama? After all, that is what the Retard-Americans keep screaming.

  • RedneckMuslin

    Scuse me while I whip this out!

    • Where the white women at!
      Can we dance wif yo dates?
      It's twue, it's twue!
      See a broad to get dat booty yak 'em…
      The sherriff is a n-!

      Did I get 'em all?

      • stncmchnc

        I think so Hedy.

        • HistoriBarb

          That's Hedley!

      • not that Radio

        You left out "I hired you fellas to get some track laid, not to dance around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots!"

      • MosesInvests

        De Camptown Ladies? Doo-dah, doo-dah?

      • tessiee

        I've always been fond of: "Give these out in lieu of pay".

        • not that Radio

          Why do I always get a warped one?

  • proudgrampa

    You want cocky? I'll show you cocky: Mark Zuckerberg's personal $19 Billion from the Facebook IPO. Now THAT's cocky.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    As usual, the liberal run NY media misses the real story. The Times highlights how the Republicans are going to attach Obama, but do they even call attention that Barack Obama once went to a church that had a Black minister? Where is the outrage at that?

  • BlueStateLibel

    Saw the update. Sorry, Jim, the Times lawyers will be contacting you anyway.

    • anniegetyerfun

      And there goes Jim's chance to leave Wonkette for the Times.

  • Mmmm, not sure what was in my previous post to get banhammered.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      In an alternate universe, our goatee'd Wonkette counterparts are applauding your insightful comment.

  • "Our Fodder" or Hail Mary?

    ed. well it wasn't those

  • Haley Barbour or Editrix?

    ed. nope again

  • Your Wonkette author is a horrible person.

    ed. well that wasn't it?

    • anniegetyerfun

      I thought that was a pre-req for the job?

  • kittytarred

    ed. well now I'm really confused, but nothing new there.

    • George Spelvin

      I tell you, it's just quantum fluctuations.

  • chascates

    Folks, a low-paid layout editor is given a news budget for his or her section (news budget is what's left after the ad space, which pays salary to low-paid layout editor and others) and has to quickly decide what stories will go where, leaving space for upcoming stories known to be in the works, or just in case of something big.
    To check the available space for hedes a fake head is often written (usually the whole page is generated via Quark or InDesign if not the few proprietary systems and goes directly to printing plate or even press in rare instances.) such as Pithy Quote from Columnist Often Filled With Keen Insight. Or in this case a photo is pulled in from the server and sized to fit the available space and also given a quick caption by the editor to indicate space available.
    In the old days when I worked at the Austin American-Statesman in the composing room one editor once famously signed off on her pages (business section) with the notation: "OK with type and art". The only thing on the pages were the ads and she just hoped whoever was going to paste up the galleys and art for her got it right.

    The Austin American-Statesman was also responsible for printing the New York Times under contract. About 10pm CST the pages were broadcast via satellite to regional papers where a fancy machine printed out the plates ready to be slapped on the press. Quite often the front page (A1) had either crooked hedes, articles, typos, etc. because it was after all the national edition and just had to be sent out. The home, or local, edition would receive more care, both because that one would be most criticized plus there was more time after the national went out.

    So what I'm trying to say is it's an absolute miracle there aren't more typos like this. Photographers are notorious for there horrible ability to write good captions and they're often misspelled. All this goes through a harried copy editor (or someone designated by them) and there's never enough time to really get it done properly. Especially due to the sports department but any way.

    • OldWhiteLies

      SIGH. Oh man, you're bringing back some of my fondest memories. Back in my non-oldz when the newspaper biz seemed a viable use of my time and talent. Goss presses rumbling the basement throughout the night with an awesome ROAR. I'd just sit there many nights with a soda, and smile watching her roll after we "put er ta bed." It was never truly as glorious as it seemed at the time. But I miss the hell out of that experience. Sometimes I'd even stay the whole press run and watch as the distribution pukes took her away to all points at the wee hours. It was some serious button-popping pride knowing what went out those gigantic bay doors each day was going to make someone somewhere smile; or stop mid-coffee-slurp in utter awe; or run to the bathroom to puke; or fume and spew expletives; or even just wrap a fish.

      Um, please forgive this moment of self-indulgence. And thank you chascates!

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      No snark at all–I love this kind of "inside baseball" stuff.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Today we are all a horrible person.

    Can I interest you in a dead fetus picture, for conversation?

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Sure, unless it's one of those dead fetus pictures that's composed of a bunch of little dots and you're supposed to stare at it for a long time until you see a sailboat, because I hate those fucking things, they give me a headache and I never see the sailboat.

    • That's fine, Generation, but whatever you do don't pull-the-Тrigger (cap Cyrillic T) on it or you'll get totally redacted.

  • doG or Jim?

    sweet Jebus, what did I do wrong???

  • WhatTheHeck

    The Times, they are a’ changing.

  • Naked_Bunny

    If it makes you feel any better, Jim, the prominent correction gives Wonkette more journalistic integrity than the NYT.

    • HistoriBarb

      Now you're just damning with faint praise. As far as I know, Wonkette has never employed Judith Miller.

  • Your Wonkette author is a horrible person.

    No, no Jim, that's silly. Perhaps a bit quick-on-the-thingie you pull to make a gun do its thing, but after you do a few "Our Fodders" and Hail Marys Haley Barbours for the Editrix, you'll be back in the grace of doG the ruler of the snarkosphere.

    / ducks and grabs helmet and flak vest before the kittytarred posters start shooting.

  • Sweet Jebus, f***ing "ṯrigger" got banhammered???

    • sullivanst

      Yes, the four letter sequence with which it starts is infamously disallowed wherever it appears.

      • Nigger is just fine, but you can't use the term that describes the branch of math that deals with sines, cosines, or you are off on a banhammer tangent?????

        • sullivanst

          Yes, because none of Caribou Barbie clan is named Nigg.

          • But they might get upset about folks twatting about the maths behind a rack-mount sine inverter?

          • Lionel[redacted]Esq

            Not yet, at least.

        • Trigger, trigger, trigger. And furthermore, trigonometry. How many times do I have to do this?

          • Chichikovovich

            Hey! Do you hear that? [Faint background, to tune of "Night-train", piano by Oscar Peterson]

            "♬ wow-wow♬ He can post banned words…. never has to use funny foreign letters ♬ bam-bum♬ Bit by a radioactive censor♬ wow-wow♬…. Jazz-word man!!"

          • My point is, there ain't no gizmo that automatically deletes trigamists, triglycerides or Triglav that I can see, Trigigovovich.

          • Chichikovovich

            Naw, man. You've got a super-power. A bit disappointing, I know, just like my hyper-acute ability to post long messages is perhaps not what I would have picked if it were up to me. But not everybody gets to fly, or crush coal into diamonds, or post first at will like Barb.

          • FakaktaSouth

            Oh my god I want a wonkette super power now besides just getting to feel young and cute here. No wait, that's good enough.

          • Chichikovovich

            Well, you do drive men here wild with mad, blinding desire. That's a super power, I'm pretty sure. (I left the manual at home.) Especially if you consider how far most of us are from our testosterone-saturated teenage years.—

          • bagofmice

            Speak for yourself, old man with which I commiserate about political guffaws. Shit.

          • prommie

            I saw her first.

          • Chichikovovich

            Reste calme, mon chum. I only have eyes for Chichikovna. Just, you know, making observations of objective facts. Being a scholar and all. Committed to knowledge.—

          • sullivanst

            When I cut'n'paste your comments and repost 'em, they appear as:

            This comment has been deleted by the administrator.

          • One way is to use a Latin lower 'ɡ' to do triɡɡer, but that's not what Chet did.

          • Trίgger?

          • Well that was with a small Greek iota mit tonos. Seems to be a sign sullivanst, that we must have sinned with the dreaded 'r' word in the past and are being run through some TSA thingie the Editrix uses on some tacky posters.

          • HistoriBarb

            I've never used the r word but I can't use any word that includes the t__g combination.

          • I think I only used it once in a tongue-in-cheek reference to the ignition timing of a car, but that got hammered. This sorta thing sometimes makes me a fan of Dick the Butcher in Henry VI.

          • sullivanst

            I don't think we're the special ones. Mistress Rebecca may just like the cut of Chet's jib.

          • sullivanst

            I also don't think he used Cyrillic Small Letter Byelorussian-Ukrainian I to do trіgger, because that should've still worked after a cut'n'paste.

          • sullivanst

            Just checking I didn't lie about the cut'n'paste. This one shouldn't trіgger the banhammer.

          • I'm glad to hear that because otherwise I might have referred to Democrats in Wisconsin riggering a trecall election at some point.

          • HistoriBarb

            You know who else was unsympathetic to the problems other people had when they themselves were fine …

          • sullivanst

            That's a good trick, how'd you do it?

          • James Michael Curley

            Do what, trіgger?

          • Doktor StrangeZoom

            ROY ROGERS LIBEL

          • James Michael Curley

            Spent some time trying to reproduce Chet Kincaid’s results with various words he posted without difficulty.  However I was blocked.  That response which was cut and pasted from another comment went through, but when I tried to type the same response it was blocked.  Most curious.  I hypothesize that it may have something to do with character sets and not fonts.

        • not that Radio

          We prefer the phrase "concrete angular mathematics". I'm sure that will fit nicely into whatever quip you were preparing.

          • In private, it sounds like "trisomy 21".

  • Nostrildamus

    If I have too see a pic of someone who's "slick and cocky", I'd rather it be Bammerz than, say, Newt Gingrich or Larry Craig.

    • anniegetyerfun

      I think that'd be more "sweaty" and "doughy", of course.


    OT: Romney today:
    ”I am not familiar precisely with exactly what I said but I stand by what I said whatever it was.”

    • anniegetyerfun

      That's not off-topic! Totally related to this post, I think, in that Romney was asked to respond to questions about whether or not it was OK let PACs bring up topics like Jeremiah Wright. Romney was all, "No, that's so terrible" and then someone was all, "But you brought up Rev Wright on a conservative radio show" and then you get your brilliant Romney quote of the day.

  • tessiee

    Sometimes there is only one perfect response to something:

    • proudgrampa

      Well played, Tess!

    • valgal2342

      You Tube is full of "video no longer available" today. What gives?

  • tessiee

    I'm finding this remarkably easy to masturbate to.

    • not that Radio

      Baconz will be there momentarily.

    • bagofmice

      Is there a cumberbatch involved?

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Sometimes we at Wonkette post lengthy excerpts of the nastiest parts of Mein Kampf alongside the .gif of Orson Welles clapping and then have to quick scrub it before any of you see it. They were just drafts, we swear!

    Yes, and over at RedState they post excerpts of the nastiest parts of Atlas Shrugged alongside a .gif of Erick Erickson fapping.

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      It's hard to see his baby-corn wang behind his sausage-like porky fingers.

  • flamingpdog

    I always come too soon late and miss the really good stuff.

  • The real point is, you can't believe everything you read.

    • Chichikovovich

      I hope you don't expect me to believe that.

    • nonbeliever7

      No, I don't believe that.

  • iburl

    Man, every time I see a screen shot from a PeeCee I feel so sorry for you guys. Get a Mac. Anti-aliasing is your friend.

  • flamingpdog

    OT, but I may have to take up Barb's offer to house me for a while in New Mexico. The stoopid in Colorado just keeps getting stoopider.

    • Maybe Coffman is taking logic lessons from Intense Debased's attorneys (see ret*rded tr*gger thread above).

  • tessiee

    Which is — let's face it — a bland, expressionless face to begin with.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Is that how it's accomplished, then? Being utterly free of personality? In the same way that I feel like the lower half of Rick Santorum's face is always trying to run away from the rest of his head, I feel like Romney's face is always battling with conflicting half-emotions. Smile? Frown? Cocksure grin? Terrified look? Let's try them all!

  • rocktonsam

    "looking slick and cocky."

    oh nevermind

  • anniegetyerfun

    OMG, you guys, that storyboard. I can't believe it starts with a hatching chick. Even more shocking is that it doesn't end with fried chicken.

    The group suggested hiring as a spokesman an “extremely literate conservative African-American” who can argue that Mr. Obama misled the nation by presenting himself as what the proposal calls a “metrosexual, black Abe Lincoln.”

    • tessiee

      "The group suggested hiring as a spokesman an “extremely literate conservative African-American”"

      Is it Michael Steele? I mean, they didn't say lit-liter-literate, so I know it can't be Herman Cain.

      • sullivanst

        Please, oh please let it be Alan Keyes.

    • Negropolis

      "extremely literate" as opposed to just plain, old literate? Huh? I'm not going to even try, because it's not supposed to make sense.

      • George Spelvin

        Don't try to lay no boogie woogie on the King of Rock and Roll.

      • HistoriBarb

        Someone must have accidentally flipped the channel to one of those BBC America shows. "A negro with a British accent – classy!"

    • tessiee

      "Mr. Obama misled the nation by
      *presenting himself*
      as what
      *the proposal calls*
      a “metrosexual, black Abe Lincoln.”"

      Would it be asking too much of these fartknockers to make up their minds?
      Are they saying that Obama *presented himself* as a metrosexual etc. — and if so, I've certainly never heard or read that such is the case — or that *their proposal calls him* a metrosexual, etc., some three and a half years after he won the election? Are we quite certain that Obama wasn't called a metrosexual by a magical leprechaun, or a talking unicorn? Does this extremely literate bunch ever have a little drinkey-poo in the daytime?

      If I were to draw up a proposal calling the authors of this article, say for example, a fluffy pink cloud of cotton candy, that would be inaccurate; but it would be my proposal which was misleading the nation, not the author, since the authors didn't say anything of the sort.

      PS. Calling the authors literate to the point of being able to follow a logical chain of cause and effect, and attribute words and actions to the person who actually originated them, would *also* be misleading the nation.

  • Negropolis

    Kind of funny since the only look Dubya could ever muster was "slick and cocky," and the slick part not so much as the cocky.

    • tessiee

      IIRC, he had two facial expressions:
      1. Snickering while tying someone to the railroad tracks,
      2. Deer in headlights.

  • Goddamit Newell!

  • littlebigdaddy

    Well, it's clear that the goopers fap to nothing but BO being slick and cocky. And why not?

  • cheetojeebus

    Dear Sirs,
    You will find enclosed in this missive a fully engorged throbbing rage and disgust for this non story. I've never before seen such a wanton full throated engulfing of false accusations that veritably sprays corruption in every direction. The empty, limp and shameful aftermath gives me shivers to contemplate.
    Spank you very much,

    • tessiee

      Now THAT's slick and cocky!

  • Manhattan123

    Are you the Wonkette editor who is sort of right-wing? if so, then, ok, we get it. You don't like Obama.

    • flamingpdog

      These days, I think being sort of right-wing is like being sort of pregnant.

  • DashBarb Buddha

    Make no mistake…there's a lot about Obama I don't like. Forget about that for a second. For all of the disappointments I have, I feel bad for the dude. Not in my lifetime has a president had to endure a fucking cartload of shit that he didn't deserve than Barry. Feet on the desk…uppity wife…bowing to heads of state. Fuck all…the dude has caught such a tsunami of shit that I can't help but support him. (Full disclosure…come November, I will more likely be voting against Rmoney than for Barry). But, if Barry should win, I am going to laugh so loud that people across the reach from me will wonder what is so funny. Take that you willfully ignorant twits…you bigots, you blind haters. A black man is going to have a second term and THERE IS FUCK ALL YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT…unless you want to stage your little revolution or something else pointless. Funny thing about revolutions: Folks tend to care more about paying their bills and sending their kids to college than whether or not a Kenyan, Communist, Socialist, Nazi, Abortionist Black Man is at the helm.

    I am going to fucking laugh my guts out at you, come November.

    • V572 Is this him?

      Hopey's gonna win. All this horse-race bullshit is just to fill up cable/newspaper/blog white space/dead air.

      • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

        I hope you're right.

        If and when he does I'll be unashamedly yelling in the street.

  • Buckminster

    Foolish twaddle still foolish and Donna Summer still dead. Jebus.

  • Negropolis

    Totally OT, but I fail to see how Trayvon Martin hacing some weed in his system is somehow the take-away from the evidence released, yesterday. I've done a good job of avoiding news of this case the past few months, because every time I've tried to follow it, I've died a little inside. But, this bullshit was everywhere, today, as if this lends any credence to Zimmerman's side of the story…as if having weed in your system would make you more aggressive…as if having weed in your system is like being hoped up on speed.


    Journalism, media; you're doing it wrong.

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      Also, too, I saw that story today and was equally befuddled.

      Smoking a couple of blunts (quite possibly two days beforehand) certainly does not make a chap more aggressive. If that's argued by the prosecution then it'll be even more of a fucking travesty than it already has become.

      • Negropolis

        Well, I sure hope that it's not argued by the prosecution, and I hope it's not argued by the defense.

        I was also angry at the focus on Zimmerman's injuries. To me, all that tells me is that Trayvon was standing his fucking ground; he was standing his ground the minute George got out of his vehicle to pursue. Honestly, that's where the case ends for me. You can't initiate a fight, and then shoot someone dead when you realize they've gotten the best of you in a fist fight, and call it "self-defense." No, not in my America.

        • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

          Some fucking kid who's bought whatever bullshit stuff is confronted with an aggressive guy with a gun.

          Maybe it turns bad and the kid tries to wrestle the guy – WHO FUCKING CARES? Who is the aggressor? It's one man, and it's not Martin.

          Stand your ground my stupid arse.

          As you say: "No, not in my America. "

  • not that Radio

    Jim — your harshness towards the NYTimes is totally warranted. Just look at this dreck that they published today (and this is an article that they ran INTENTIONALLY). Any shit they do is fair game.

    David Brooks is sad because the mean Liberal Media wrote articles about Mitt's teenage "hair rape", I believe you called it. These articles were "divorced from context" and an example of "gotcha journalism", and David Brooks does not care for it one bit.

    So please don't hesitate the next time you think the NYTimes did something stupid, because they probably did.

    • Chichikovovich

      I dunno. Compared to the usual run of manipulative, intellectually dishonest crap that Brooks kicks out, I thought this one was pretty mild. He puts weak arguments in Collins' mouth, but perhaps because she is right there to kick his ass if he goes too far, they are not the extreme examples of self-refuting idiocies furthering the right wing narrative that he usually puts in the mouth of his dialectical opponents. ["Now the Democrats will say 'if we do what you recommend, we won't be able to double the size of government, and that's awful because we are committed to increasing the size of government, independent of any reason or purpose.' But those Burkeans among us who feel the attraction of smaller, more disciplined and restrained organizations say…"]

      There are stories around about Romney being a jerk, and he says "Look, lots of people say he's a great guy as an adult, who cares if he was a jerk in school as many people are". I'd like to actually see some of these people talk on the record, etc. but that's a legitimate thing for a columnist to write.

      • not that Radio

        Sure, some of it was mild. All of it (including Gail Collins) was that "manufactured centrism" crap that we've grown so sick of.

        David: When you speak to people who have worked with Romney, Democrats and Republicans, you get to hear story after story of overwhelming kindness. One could say he’s a flip-flopper, but to suggest he is cruel seems to me an unfair distortion.

        Despite the fact that he "likes to fire people" and thinks that "even women with 2-year-old children should have to work", etc, that repeatedly demonstrate that he is cruel, and not kind.

        They will see he is not an ogre and the reaction against the stereotype will be strong, just as the reaction as the stereotype in 1980 of Reagan as warmonger was strong. When voters discovered that people had been deceiving them about Reagan’s true nature, they went ahead and defeated Jimmy Carter.

        Reagan's true nature, indeed. This is pretty offensive, but maybe not as offensive as other things that David Brooks has written? But the Times published those, too, didn't they? My point stands.

        • Negropolis

          Brook's mildness is exactly what makes his writing dangerous, as it gives off the apperance of being seriousness. The shouting voices do us harm, but nothing has done more harm to the space in which we are allowed to debate politics than the mainstreaming of false equivalencies through the near-worship of "centrism." If we had an actual center o the political spectrum in which to debate, that'd be one thing, but what "centrism" means, these days, is an apologism for totally untenable right-wing bullshit.

          BTW, this idea that Romney's not really a bad guy because he can function as a human around people on an individual level smacks of the "I have black friends" cliche. Just because you can find ways to be human with other humans on an individual level doesn't make you a nice person when dealing with groups of people. Humanity is filled with and has been filled with plenty of shitty human beings who were personable and warmed with friends and loved ones and other individuals on a personal level.

          An argument can be made that perhaps it's not the best politics to get personal, but I reject the counter-argument that the personal characterization of Romney by th left has been a lie. This isn't some conspiracy; most of what's been used to characterize Romney has come from Romney, himself. We don't have to build a caricature of a guy who's done it, himself.

          • Doktor StrangeZoom

            The shouting voices do us harm, but nothing has done more harm to the space in which we are allowed to debate politics than the mainstreaming of false equivalencies through the near-worship of "centrism."

            Yes, yes, a million times yes. And this is where the concept of the "Overton Window" is useful–the shouters have dragged the notion of what's acceptable so far to the right that even a centrist like Obama can be accused of "socialism," and the responsible moderates will nod and say, well, that's perhaps a bit of a mischaracterization, but you can see why his policies make some people uneasy.

            (Something something Overton defenestration)

        • sullivanst

          Yeah that "Reagan's true nature" thing stuck in the craw. Maybe he should ask the people of Tripoli, or Beirut, or Grenada, or Nicaragua what they thought of Reagan's true nature? Maybe he should ponder for a moment what kind of person would veto the Comprehensive Anti-Apartheid Act.

          • not that Radio

            No shit. El Salvadoran nuns, anyone?

          • radio-of-owls
          • Doktor StrangeZoom

            But hey, the guns are for the moral equivalent of the Founding Fathers.

          • radio-of-owls
      • Doktor StrangeZoom

        perhaps because she is right there to kick his ass if he goes too far, they are not the extreme examples of self-refuting idiocies

        Brooks could have been a good writer, if it had been somebody there to kick his ass every minute of his life…. It's no real pleasure in life.

    • sullivanst

      Meh. Brooks sucks, of course, in major fashion. But your url is, where editorial control is at its weakest.

      Brooks appears to be entirely unaware of the meaning of "gotcha". He also appears to find it impossible to believe that the same individual can be kind sometimes but cruel others, despite voluminous evidence from all walks of life that this isn't only possible, but true to varying degrees of pretty much every person that ever lived. His core argument is so terribly weak (essentially boiling down to "this story contradicts my preconceived notions of Romney, so I don't like it") that he really damages his position more than he advances it. In that regard, Brooks is much more like a Mets reliever than a centerfielder.

      Of course, the Times pays for this weakass pablum, along with that of Thom Friedman and Ross Douchehat so screw them.

      • not that Radio

        Paying is the only kind of editorial control that they need to exercise. But of course, they are "bipartisan" and "moderate" and "centrist", (see DokZoom comment above), so we need to give them a forum and then look the other way when they do exactly what they were paid to do.

        [has aneurysm]

  • Negropolis

    If Obama looks "slick and cocky" can someone find me a picture of the Mittnes Romney looking "stiff and schlocky"?

  • Jerri

    Update aside, this post was worth it for "Tumblr of Record" alone.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Newell, don't be so hard on yourself. That attitude will haunt you when you are an adult.

  • DahBoner

    The wingnut plan to defeat Obama?

    I thought the NYT didn't have a comics page?????

  • carlgt1

    whew, I wonder how many images tagged "uppity" the so-called "liberal media" has?

  • Big political fallout in Chicago because of the Ricketts patriarch's Wright plan. The kids, who own the Cubs, want a taxpayer boondoggle to fix up Wrigley Field, and Rahm is mad as hell. Tom, the kid who runs the Cubs, issued a statement saying he wants nothing to do with politics, and Laura, a lesbian who is an Obama and marriage-equality supporter, is "clearing the air" all over the place.

    • Chichikovovich

      Thanks for the links – that is some furious backpedaling right there. The Ricketts family pr representatives are clearly working the phones with the journalists who owe them favors.

      [Though I do wish the guy who is holding the "Ricketts Racist" sign in the photo in the first link would get a haircut. All he needs is a Blagojevich t-shirt and he could appear in Joe the Plumber's ad.]

      • I guess this is what happens when you multiply the "crazy white Dad at Thanksgiving ranting about Obama" phenomenon by about a billion dollars.

        • Chichikovovich

          And to think I used to cringe when Dad and Grand-dad would go on their “Trudeau and Lalonde and Marchand are shoving French down our throats!!!” tirades. Seems kind of quaint in retrospect.—

        • HistoriBarb

          Rich people have embarrassing relatives too!

  • ttommyunger

    Real 'Merikans prefer the Dubya "Smirk" or the Cheney "Sneer" or at least the Condoleeza Rice "Bush Penis Goes Here".

  • vaporware4u

    At this point, it doesn't matter.
    I will never finish these pretzels by the Expiration Date.

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