THE COMING RACE SNORE  4:01 pm May 17, 2012

Army Of Minority Babies Prepares Crushing Assault On All Whites

by Jim Newell

More devil babies plzWe knew it, you knew it, they knew it, your crazy white great-uncle who forwards you paranoic chain letters in blue 30-point Comic Sans font with neon green background knew it, and now the U.S. Census knows it: The minorities, they’re popping out babies like the dickens, and the flaccid whites can no longer keep up: “Non-Hispanic whites accounted for 49.6 percent of all births in the 12-month period that ended last July, according to Census Bureau data made public on Thursday, while minorities — including Hispanics, blacks, Asians and those of mixed race — reached 50.4 percent, representing a majority for the first time in the country’s history.” Shit. See you all in Singapore! We’ll whiten that joint up in no time.

This is a prime opportunity — really, what could surpass it? — for some outrage-surfing on the conservative Internet. Bloggers at Phyllis Schlafly’s Eagle Forum, whatcha got? They don’t like the tone of the New York Times article, which simply reported a finding from the Census:

The NY Times liberals seek to destroy the American family of the 1950s, as symbolized by Ozzie and Harriet. The TV characters were happy, self-sufficient, autonomous, law-abiding, honorable, patriotic, hard-working, and otherwise embodied qualities that made America great. In other words, the show promoted values that NY Times liberals despise.

Instead, the USA is being transformed by immigrants who do not share those values, and who have high rates of illiteracy, illegitimacy, and gang crime, and they will vote Democrat when the Democrats promise them more food stamps.

Okay, that one should suffice on its own. One more?… hmmm… Jonah Goldberg is babbling about George Zimmerman for some reason… yeah, that Eagle Forum one’s enough for now.

[NYT, Eagle Forum]

 
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{ 182 comments }

Barb May 17, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Ladies, set your uteri for STUN! We can fix this problem in 9 months.

BlueStateLibel May 17, 2012 at 4:08 pm

You know who else was obsessed with breeding white babies?

SorosBot May 17, 2012 at 4:09 pm

The Duggars?

Doktor StrangeZoom May 17, 2012 at 4:12 pm

The Pillsbury Doughboy?

BornInATrailer May 17, 2012 at 4:29 pm

I shudder to recall those awful "one teaspoon" laws and White Flour marches before the Civil Rise era.

BarbdarTFlagass May 17, 2012 at 4:14 pm

That ex-governor guy that moved to New Zealand to impregnate lebians?

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Ingrid Bergman on the Orient Express?

gingerland62 May 18, 2012 at 1:33 am

you are funny.
Spoiler:everyone did it.

nounverb911 May 17, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Whitey Ford?

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Any white ladies looking to breed superior children may line up at my dressing room door.

One at a time, please, unless you're twins.

Oh, and since I'm liberal, you lovely women of colour are invited in as well. We'll just have the spankings and oral sexing.

nounverb911 May 17, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Barb, when are your daughters due?

anniegetyerfun May 17, 2012 at 7:05 pm

As a white lady who loves the minority menz, I'm afraid I am of no use in this crusade.

bagofmice May 17, 2012 at 11:54 pm

So, we are in fear of people who can't setup their fax machines or set their VCR's?

Nopantsmcgee May 17, 2012 at 4:05 pm

You KNOW this wouldn't be happening if we didn't have a half-blah President, rite?

GuyClinch May 17, 2012 at 4:05 pm

OT, but Mittens uttered the quintessential line today, in Florida. He said: "I'm not familiar precisely with what I said, but I'll stand by what I said, whatever it was."

There is a certain elegance in its purity, no?

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Oh, let's not start another one. Proof?

Blueb4sunrise May 17, 2012 at 4:18 pm
Barb May 17, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Thanks Blue!

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2012 at 4:25 pm

My God, the man simply is not interested in winning, is he?!

Blueb4sunrise May 17, 2012 at 4:28 pm

nada, I had just watched it meself .

starfanglednut May 17, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Fucking awesome. He knew the camera was on, right?

miss_grundy May 17, 2012 at 10:07 pm

There is one word in Spanish that describes that man: comemierda.

fuflans May 17, 2012 at 4:21 pm

nice.

widestanceromance May 17, 2012 at 4:30 pm

May this haunt him for the rest of his days. With slight editing, he just wrote his own epitaph.

Jukesgrrl May 17, 2012 at 11:29 pm

He added insult to injury by saying he wasn't able to read the inflammatory NY Times article about him because, "I just got off the aircraft." Mitt can't read when he's floating from one pandering assignment to another? Apparently it's enough we ask him to remember the favorite foods of the state he's in so he can pretend he eats them. Hillary should Tweet him from her fully equipped office space station to tell him he's an asshole.

BarbdarTFlagass May 17, 2012 at 4:07 pm

This is a death knell for Taco Bell.

fartknocker May 17, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Tacos El Carbon made by people who understand pork, masa and vegetables is a much better food option than a 17 year old slinging corporate food crap through a drive-thru window.

Damn Barbdar, thanks for solving my dinner choice.

Negropolis May 18, 2012 at 1:16 am

And not a moment to soon.

edgydrifter May 17, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Yes, now America will cease to be like a fictional story about a family that never existed portrayed by actors who were not, in fact, related to each other. Way to go, minorities. This is all your fault.

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Psst…Ozzie and Harriet were really married in real life. Even had the two kids shown on the TeeVee…

BarbdarTFlagass May 17, 2012 at 4:14 pm

If I recall, Ozzie was a real dick to his family, too.

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 4:23 pm

The family has managed to maintain a pretty squeaky clean image of Ozzie. Ricky had his troubles and those were pretty public, so it's hard to tell if Ozzie was the genuinely nice guy we've seen or if there's been a ton of dust-busting.

One thing's for sure: something fucked Ricky Nelson up badly.

SorosBot May 17, 2012 at 4:32 pm

And I love the hair metal that so many other people loathe and mock, but even I would never defend Ricky's twins; they just sucked. "(Can't Live Without Your) Love and Affection" is awful.

Blueb4sunrise May 17, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Ozzie went down on her too.

edgydrifter May 17, 2012 at 4:18 pm

That's just what they wanted you to think. I don't recall David or Ricky ever releasing their long-form birth certificates.

Chichikovovich May 17, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Rick later wrote a book where he said that his Dad was a complete douche. Or maybe that his Dad wasn't a douche at all. I never read it.

But whatever it was, he stood by it.

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 4:26 pm

I'm sure he said it.

Actually, in researching other shows of the period, I came across this great quote:

"I wish there was some way I could tell the kids not to believe it. The dialogue, the situations, the characters ­ they were all totally false. The show did everyone a disservice. The girls were always trained to use their feminine wiles, to pretend to be helpless to attract men. The show contributed to a lot of the problems between men and women that we see today. . . . I think we were all well motivated, but what we did was run a hoax. 'Father Knows Best' purported to be a reasonable facsimile of life. And the bad thing is, the model is so deceitful. It usually revolved around not wanting to tell the truth, either out of embarrassment, or not wanting to hurt someone. If I could say anything to make up for all the years I lent myself to (that), it would be, 'You Know Best.'"

George Spelvin May 17, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Well played.

Gratuitous World May 17, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Keep fucking that chicano!
USA!

BarbdarTFlagass May 17, 2012 at 4:08 pm

"The TV characters were happy, self-sufficient, autonomous, law-abiding, honorable, patriotic, hard-working"

In other words, they were the figments of scriptwriters' imaginations.

Jukesgrrl May 17, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Apparently they are unaware that Ozzie and Harriet's spawn were among the biggest druggies in Hollywood.

johnnyzhivago May 17, 2012 at 4:08 pm

This is easily fixed by inviting Asians to become honorary white people.

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2012 at 4:15 pm

The Derbyshire Initiative.

Swampgas_Man May 17, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Hey, it worked for the Jews and Irish.

Jukesgrrl May 17, 2012 at 11:35 pm

Reminds me of Dave Chappelle's Racial Draft.

Negropolis May 18, 2012 at 1:18 am

How much longer before they start claiming Cubans and other "white" hispanics.

Chet Kincaid May 18, 2012 at 9:36 am

Are you too young to have seen "I Love Lucy"?

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 4:08 pm

The NY Times liberals seek to destroy the American family of the 1950s, as symbolized by Ozzie and Harriet.

I think Rickie did that when he crashed his plane, motherfuckers…

Of course, he had the egregious Nelson Twins, so….

pdiddycornchips May 17, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Ozzie and Harriet no more represented the reality of of the American family in the 1950's than Hogan's Hero's represented WWII.

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 4:34 pm

I agree. Ozzie and Harriet originated as a radio show during WW2, and were really not much more than a propaganda mill for Americans to believe that everything was hunky dory and to ignore the world around them.

bikerlaureate May 17, 2012 at 4:32 pm

I'm pretty impressed with the liberals' time-travel capabilities.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 17, 2012 at 4:08 pm

And half of the white babies were created with Stephen Colbert Formula 401.

elburritodeluxe May 17, 2012 at 4:09 pm

From the proud dad of two mixed-race babies:
Since far more whites receive food stamps than the minorities how come they're not voting Democrat? Ingrates! Also, since Mittens is the top choice for whites in the upcoming election, should we call him the Food Stamp President?

miss_grundy May 17, 2012 at 10:15 pm

No, we can call him the Stupid Choice President because that vulture has used his financial company to put a lot of Americans out of work. Of course, the stupid whites who will vote for him can't think logically so they can put that idea together in their brains. Why are there so many people in this country who happily vote against their own interests?

LettucePrey May 17, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Um, hello, this is good news, people! It means more gardening help!

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 4:15 pm

And they won't even be illegal! Outstanding insight!

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2012 at 4:10 pm

7 Skin-Tone Army.

not that Radio May 17, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Ironically, they're not going to Wichita.

GorzoTheMighty May 17, 2012 at 5:57 pm

From the Queen of England to the Hounds of Hell

littlebigdaddy May 17, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Let's see how long it takes them to start reconsidering the abortionplex issue.

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ May 17, 2012 at 4:11 pm

I am going to strongly suggest that all freethinking, humanist, secular "brights" should get to fuckin'.

We may risk the planet for a little while, but we're smarter than them. It is time to reverse those vasectomies, people.

deit, and OT: GODDAMMIT. Birthers still at it.

Callyson May 17, 2012 at 4:48 pm

The more babbling the birthers do, the worse the poll numbers get for Mittens. God works in mysterious ways…

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 17, 2012 at 4:11 pm

I think the main problem is that, on the whole, whites are more affluent, and so have faster internet and more access to porn. So, by spreading high speed internet into the poor and immigrant communities, we can effectively stop this problem.

gurukalehuru May 17, 2012 at 5:03 pm

That's actually true. Funny, but true.

Negropolis May 18, 2012 at 1:24 am

It's not true, at all, but whatever. lol

SorosBot May 17, 2012 at 4:11 pm

This is why the racists are freaking out and going overboard with the insanity now; they know their time is fading, America's getting browner, most young white people don't share their racism and homophobia, and of course the President is black. This is making them lose what remains of their bigoted little minds.

fuflans May 17, 2012 at 4:22 pm

and republicans are doomed.

gullywompr May 17, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Absolutely. What do you give them? Twelve more years?

HistoriBarb May 17, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Do we have to wait that long?

widestanceromance May 17, 2012 at 4:33 pm

I've long thought that the incredibly awful behavior the right has engaged in was cornered animal fear from smelling its own death.

starfanglednut May 17, 2012 at 6:56 pm

It's great, isn't it?

Negropolis May 18, 2012 at 1:33 am

There is an ounce of truth to the fear, though, and if they aren't feeling guilty about it they should. And that is that they've either been active in or complicit in dismantling society at the bottom for so long that everybody's going to get hurt by this change, in the beginning, for the sheer fact that it's going to take some major remedial work in rebuilding society at the bottom.

They thought that the legacy and consequences of tthe neglect of entire elements of the greater society were bad in the 60's. Imagine what it's going to take the bridge the health and education gaps they've allowed to widen over the decades since.

I'm hopeful for the simple fact that we'll now be able to actually address disparities because the numbers have changed, but it's going to be tough</> and painful and it didn't have to be, so it makes me a bit bitter.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 18, 2012 at 4:36 am

Lock 'em in a room and make 'em watch "Children of Men."
Then hose out the exploded brains, and bring in the next bunch.

niblick77 May 17, 2012 at 4:12 pm

You have to put the blame where blame should be put. On the gay white homos because, you know, homo.

BarbdarTFlagass May 17, 2012 at 4:12 pm

My grandmother got divorced in 1941 from my philandering grandfather. She lived with her second husband for 3 years before they were married in 1948. My great aunt disappeared in 1947 and it is assumed that foul play was involved. My other grandfather's brother was gay and was completely ostracized by his family.

Your "Ozzie and Harriet America" is a fiction.

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 4:17 pm

There's this commercial on teh TeeVee for Ancestry.com that sort of slyly addresses that, where some woman searches her parentage and finds out her grandpa was grandma's third husband.

Way to go, GILF!

RavenRant May 17, 2012 at 5:03 pm

But Uncle Arthur, (Paul Lynde), was loved and accepted on 'Bewitched'. So fictional mixed muggle/witch families were much cooler than fictional and real All-American families back then.

fartknocker May 17, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Fred Sanford lived in salvage yard because that's where black people were supposed to live. Archie Bunker, on the other hand, was the true, quintessential American.

HistoriBarb May 17, 2012 at 5:23 pm

More like propaganda. I may be reaching a little but I think there was a lot pants-pissing fear that the country would go through major societal upheaval similar to the Roaring Twenties. In response, there was a strong push for "everything is fine – remain calm" messages through broadcast media and education. Most of the big popular music (Perry Como, Bing Crosby) was essentially lullabies. Add in a hefty dose of Communism fears and you have a great environment for playing it safe.

MissNancyPriss May 17, 2012 at 5:45 pm

My parent's 1950's was a fucking nightmare.

doloras May 17, 2012 at 8:06 pm

I found out that after my great-great-grandma died, my great-great-grandpa married her sister. I know that's technically "Levirate marriage", but they were Irish, not Jewish, so WTF.

Schmannnity May 17, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Whites would have fallen further and faster were it not for super White, super Mormons like Mittman.

Nostrildamus May 17, 2012 at 4:12 pm

This time, it's WAR!!!

SmutBoffin May 17, 2012 at 4:13 pm

I am glad that there are patriots out there willing to take a stand against demography. Did you know that they teach it in American indoctrination slut colleges, nowadays?

Demography sounds muslin, anyway. Oh, and fuck the associated statistics too! YOO-ESS-EIGH YOO-ESS-EIGH YOO-ESS-EIGH

coolhandnuke May 17, 2012 at 4:15 pm

….The NY Times liberals seek to destroy the American family of the 1950s, as symbolized by Ozzie and Harriet…

Ozzy Osbourne and Harriet Tubman?

Nopantsmcgee May 17, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I , for one, welcome our new gorgeously pigmented overlords and hope to date as many as I can.

friendlyskies May 17, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I hear Ratko Mladic isn't busy this week after all. Perhaps the Eagle Forum could invite him over to discuss strategies for reversing this trend and returning the USA to its fictional teevee-show past.

BarbdarTFlagass May 17, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Bacardi has an ad running that shows a bunch of people partying in 1957, and they have the rainbow of races all having a good time together. Yeah, right.

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I love it when TV spots pull that shit. "Oh wait, market data shows blacks and Latinos drink our beer too, so put a really light-skinned black guy and a hispanic guy in the wheelhouse with Columbus!"

IonaTrailer May 17, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Like the Twilight Zone?

GuyClinch May 17, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Just putting it out there to any hot Latina, black, Asian, Indian (both kinds), or otherwise non-white ladies in U.S. America: I'm white, outta sight and got a sack full of swimmers. Let's get it on and start lightening the palette. Thank you in advance.

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Mixed-race don't count as white people on the census, so you are part of the problem, race-traitor!1!1!!111!

GuyClinch May 17, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Yeah, like I care about the goddam census.

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2012 at 4:23 pm

I see you've got my census "right there."

bagofmice May 18, 2012 at 12:08 am

¥censored€!

Redgyal May 17, 2012 at 11:00 pm

This technique….does it work for you? Or does a billboard with your picture and phone number do the job better?

Serolf_Divad May 17, 2012 at 4:16 pm

I've got the solution to this crisis: first we all convert to Mormonism, next we import a bunch of Norwegian and Icelandic women. It's a win/win!

natoslug May 17, 2012 at 5:23 pm

If you've all converted to Mormonism, all you need to do is pray and tithe enough and you become white and delightsome. No importation necessary. Of course, without the starter harem, there's no way I am converting to Mormonism again.

Serolf_Divad May 17, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Starter harems? Is that like the half-filled inkjet cartridges that come with printers these days, because buying a whole set f color inks is actually more expensive than buying a whole new printer?

Jus_Wonderin May 17, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Prommie, are you there? This is why the Connies are going batshit crazy. They feel they are "loosing their Country".

pdiddycornchips May 17, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Fucking anchor babies! Well, this is a call to arms. From this day forth, I vow to never where a condom when trolling the trailer parks of middle America.

MissTaken May 17, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Good luck with the syphilis!

pdiddycornchips May 17, 2012 at 4:43 pm

I can't prove this with any scientific certainty but if you spray your cock with RAID ant and roach killer just before inserting it into the syphilis-filled vagina, it not only prevents contamination but it enhances both your and your partners pleasure.

starfanglednut May 17, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Gets rid of any insects you might have on there as well.

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2012 at 4:20 pm

I love how people who really ought to know better believe that an 8 year stretch of faux-tranquility under Eisenhower represents all of American history before niggers got uppity, ignoring the working people's blood that made this nation's streets slippery right up until Pearl Fucking Harbor.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 17, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Why, that's just a bunch of America-hating revisionism. As any fool knows, before Ozzie and Harriet, America was best represented by The Waltons. And before that, by Little House on the Prairie.

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2012 at 4:29 pm

If you put American History as represented by TV shows end-to-end, you'd have a lobotomy.

starfanglednut May 17, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Ultimately, the real victim here is Leave it to Beaver, and I think it's only fair to call on President Obama to resign.

DemmeFatale May 17, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Does somebody need a hug?
C'mere you big lug!

Chet Kincaid May 18, 2012 at 9:37 am

Save it for a racially-insecure white lug.

dadanarchist May 18, 2012 at 1:05 am

Noted Canadian conservative "traitor" David "Axis of Evil" Frum gets it:

"In the years between the Civil War and the Great Depression, we also saw increasing concentrations of great wealth—at the same time as many working Americans, moving from farm to city, suffered the pain of moral dislocation and social breakdown. Crime, prostitution, and drunkenness ran then at least as rampant as the analogous ills run today.

And in those days too, there existed writers and thinkers who insisted that these trends represented the necessary consequences of ineluctable social consequences. Murray's claim that the "reality that has driven the formation of the new upper class [is that] brains have become much more valuable in the marketplace" has its almost exactly precise analogues in the writings of Social Darwinists like William Graham Sumner.

There was however at least one hugely important difference between those days and our own. Back then, the lower class, rather than sink meekly into its immiseration, periodically erupted in violent strikes and riots. American labor relations in the period from 1880 through 1920 were the most violent on earth. In 1901, an anarchist murdered President McKinley; in 1919-20, a bloody wave of bombings culminated in an explosion on Wall Street that killed that killed 38 people and wounded 400 more."

Chet Kincaid May 18, 2012 at 9:40 am

Yes! This is why the bullshit "Forrest Gump" mentality that America at some point had some kind of innocence is so annoying. The only people who believe that are a very narrow slice of the Boomers who were born after the war, and their dumb fucking kids who have been raised fundamentalist Christian.

MissTaken May 17, 2012 at 4:21 pm

This is a good thing. Fewer rates of skin cancer and serial killing.

SoBeach May 17, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Probably fewer beauty pageants for little girls too.

gingerland62 May 18, 2012 at 2:02 am

And child abduction/rape /murders. White people(i am) are really effed up.

horsedreamer_1 May 19, 2012 at 3:20 pm

WAYNE WILLIAMS LIBEL!!!

JOHN MUHAMMAD & LEE BOYD MALVAUX ALSO!!!

Baconzgood May 17, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Sex with non-white people is fun.

(I know the same themed snark twice in a row, but Baconz knows this for a fact, being the lil' lady was born in south america)

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Hey, her lineage could trace back to Germany post-WW2, so…

Doktor StrangeZoom May 17, 2012 at 4:22 pm

We are under assault by the Quadroon Platoon!

Redgyal May 17, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Amen

SoBeach May 17, 2012 at 4:22 pm

I sired a whole mess of unbelievably pale babies. But that was a while back, and I've had the machinery taken off line since then. So this is probably my fault. Sorry, white people.

BigSkullF*ckingDog May 17, 2012 at 4:22 pm

When the minorities are the majority do we have to stop calling them minorities?

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Just call us "The Coalition Forces," since none of us have an outwhite — er, outright majority.

Fairtackle May 17, 2012 at 4:23 pm

I thought Fred and Wilma were the original American family.

SorosBot May 17, 2012 at 4:23 pm

So I'm a white guy dating a white woman and we use birth control – does that make us race traitors? If so, good, 'cause I hate white people.

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Step aside and let a breeder get to work.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 17, 2012 at 4:26 pm

It's the Day of the Rope for you!

widestanceromance May 17, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Premeditated intent of genocide!

DahBoner May 18, 2012 at 1:34 pm

A white guy stabbed me with a pencil on the playground, when I was 8.

Narrowly missed putting my eye out, I still have the scar to this day.

Never trusted whites ever since. I cross the street when I see a bunch of white guys walking towards me…

horsedreamer_1 May 19, 2012 at 3:23 pm

A morbidly obese white classmate stabbed ME in the arm, at the elbow, with a mechanical pencil. Still have the scar, & maybe even some pencil, in me.still hate fat &/or white people.

fuflans May 17, 2012 at 4:25 pm

The NY Times liberals seek to destroy the American family of the 1950s, as symbolized by Ozzie and Harriet. The TV characters were happy, self-sufficient, autonomous, law-abiding, honorable, patriotic, hard-working, and otherwise embodied qualities that made America great.

yeah, but the music sucked.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 17, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Ultimately, the real victim here is Sarah Palin's overworked uterus, and I think it's only fair to call on President Obama to resign.

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Down to the seeds and stems, now.

sharethegrief May 17, 2012 at 4:43 pm

In the Palin family, the overworked uterus is a fine substitute for the undeveloped brain.

friendlyskies May 17, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Are you speaking of that race traitor who bred with an Inuit?

Jukesgrrl May 17, 2012 at 11:42 pm

The white snow cancels out his color?

Blueb4sunrise May 17, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Hey, wait a minute! Is this sciency stuff with data and graphs and things?
Don't believe it!!!111111 I know a white couple that had a baby recently so it can't be true!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SayItWithWookies May 17, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Hey if it was up to me, we'd all get spayed or neutered and these would be the last generations of humans, and we could all sit on the veranda watching the sunset as we contemplated turning the planet over to the less-evolved species who probably won't fuck it up nearly as much as we have.

Anyway, my point is that the pointy-hat brigade should count their damn blessings.

randcoolcatdaddy May 17, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Hmph. I thought "Ozzie and Harriet" was just a cheesy Whitesploitation movie….

widestanceromance May 17, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Yes, we should all strive to be more like fictional characters created to sell soap. FTW.

jodyleek May 17, 2012 at 4:36 pm

No, Phyllis darling, the NY Times didn't do away with the '50s, you dried up old cunt. The '60s did! Now crawl back in your mothballed crypt before your sulfurous stench becomes more noticeable.

gingerland62 May 18, 2012 at 1:54 am

Thank you. you made me laugh out loud.

bikerlaureate May 17, 2012 at 4:36 pm

… and they will vote Democrat when the Democrats promise them more food stamps.

It's completely baffling that nonwhite folks don't flock to the Republicans, who clearly have so much respect for their intelligence and integrity.

gullywompr May 17, 2012 at 4:36 pm

With all the baby-killing we do, it's amazing us liberals managed to pull this off.

Puffperney May 17, 2012 at 4:38 pm

SCOTUS could speed the trend up some if they would just overturn a certain ruling…

…and at the same time rob the R.s of a key issue.

dadanarchist May 17, 2012 at 4:39 pm

"The NY Times liberals seek to destroy the American family of the 1950s, as symbolized by Ozzie and Harriet. The TV characters were happy pill-popping alchoholics, self-sufficient on the GI bill, autonomous beneficiaries of a 90% top marginal tax-rate, law-abiding racists, honorable dirty sluts, patriotic paranoid anti-communists, hard-working unionized, and otherwise embodied qualities lived in a social democracy that which made America great a nice enough place to live if you were white. In other words, the show promoted values that NY Times liberals despise revealed a world that conservatives have systematically destroyed in the past 50 years."

FIXED

Jukesgrrl May 17, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Don't forget that cheap, cheap college education they used to have in California and those affordable little ranch houses.

Mumbletypeg May 17, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Kid Rock is already on this — rewriting his masterpiece to better suit the impending whitey-galvanized Pro-Procreation Campaign's song with "Born Pigment-Free"~

Wile E. Quixote May 17, 2012 at 4:45 pm

The TV characters were happy, self-sufficient, autonomous, law-abiding, honorable, patriotic, hard-working, and otherwise embodied qualities that made America great.

I myself prefer the TV characters of the 1960s who were happy, self-sufficient, autonomous, law-abiding, honorable, patriotic, hard-working and otherwise embodied qualities that made America great, like tapping hot, green alien ass every chance they got. Plus they had phasers, transporters, photon torpedos, FTL travel and incredibly awesome cellular coverage (when did you ever hear James T. KIrk say "Enterprise. Can you hear me Enterprise?" on his communicator). All of that stuff is way cooler than anything a stuffy old closet queen like Ozzie Nelson ever had. Oh, plus there weren't any goddamned useless evangelical dipshit Jesus freaks on the Enterprise either.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 17, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Unless you count those goddamned useless evangelical hippie dipshits who were going to Eden, if you "reach," brother.

Herbert! Herbert!

Biel_ze_Bubba May 18, 2012 at 4:22 am

I'm a big fan of the happy, self-sufficient, autonomous, law-abiding, honorable, patriotic, hard-working and otherwise embodied qualities of the American Family of the 1970s.

White teabaggers of the Eagle Forum: suck it.

OneDollarJuana May 17, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Things keep going on like this and we're gonna see a sitcom where some rich blah family adopts an orphan white kid. Hilarity ensues.

Negropolis May 18, 2012 at 1:47 am

It's funny, 'cause I've been waiting to see this for years. I want to see heads 'asplode. I wanna see Will & Jada or Jay & Beyonce go to Moldova or Romania or some shit and just totally empty out one of their orphanages, Brangelina style.

gingerland62 May 18, 2012 at 2:11 am

Fresh Prince of Bel Air

Callyson May 17, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Send those white people to that bookstore in Tennessee. Direct them to the Civil War section. Count the boom of Wonder Bread babies in approximately 9 months…

gingerland62 May 18, 2012 at 1:46 am

But he books are turned over or something now. They always work against their own self interest.

a_pink_poodle May 17, 2012 at 4:58 pm

The TV characters

Okay stop right there, that's how I know someone can't tell the difference between television and reality.

calliecallie May 17, 2012 at 5:05 pm

One way to end racism is for everyone to be the same color. And that probably will be some lovely shade of brown. It's just a matter of time before Gingers are declared an endangered species.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 17, 2012 at 5:37 pm

George Orr and Dr. Haber are working on it.

anniegetyerfun May 17, 2012 at 7:07 pm

I went to all this trouble to get impregnated by a brown guy. If my kid ends up with my ginger genes, there is no hope for humanity.

Redgyal May 17, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Not really true because of recessive genes.

not that Radio May 17, 2012 at 5:20 pm

What have you done to his skin color?!?!

He has his father's skin color

chascates May 17, 2012 at 5:38 pm

If we're going to return to a TV-inspired America that never existed I'll take 'Davy Crockett' over Ozzie and Harriet.

Shit, make it 'F Troop' instead.

HistoriBarb May 17, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Does this mean we're going to be more like Brazil? That's change we can believe in!

wondering where i am May 17, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Waxing optional, I hope.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 18, 2012 at 12:00 am

Actually, with the Patriot Act, we're already a helluva lot like Brazil right now.

Antispandex May 17, 2012 at 5:48 pm

" The TV characters were happy, self-sufficient, autonomous, law-abiding, honorable, patriotic, hard-working,"

…slept in seperate beds, didn't allow their women folk to work outside the home, never said the word pregnant, KNEW for a fact that women should only drive if there is no man around, didn't let colored folk in their house…

starfanglednut May 17, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Yup, exactly the way conservatives believe it should be.

Naked_Bunny May 17, 2012 at 5:56 pm

We can't violate their religious freedom to outbreed the crackers, right?

Monsieur_Grumpe May 17, 2012 at 6:51 pm

It's a good thing I'm a full 1/256 black. Suck it whitey.

Redgyal May 17, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Deep roots?

anniegetyerfun May 17, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Yes, it is a well-documented fact that Hispanic Catholics in the US are raging liberals who want nothing more than to get abortions and have too many babies.

Schmegeg May 17, 2012 at 11:30 pm

I feel so oppressed.

Negropolis May 18, 2012 at 1:51 am

Bwahahaha! Our plan is nearly complete, comrades!

Uh-oh. I didn't use my inside voice. Drat!

What's not being reported is that fertility rates are at historic lows across almost all racial and ethnic lines. I believe that only hispanic women have fertility rates above repacement, and then just barely, and black and white fertility rates are now almost identical.

gingerland62 May 18, 2012 at 2:14 am

Your facts have a liberal bias.

dopper0189 May 18, 2012 at 3:24 am

Ha, seems American woman didn't want those trans vaginal ultra sounding Republicans up their Vajaya that much!

Biel_ze_Bubba May 18, 2012 at 4:14 am

"The NY Times liberals seek to destroy the American family of the 1950s . . ."

Those damned liberals, reporting facts again! What's with those NYT people, anyhow? It's them and their goddam fact fetish that's destroyin' America!

joobajooba May 18, 2012 at 7:17 am

"representing a majority for the first time in the country’s history.” — And what does Sitting Bull have to say about that.?

DahBoner May 18, 2012 at 1:26 pm

This is good news for fertility clinics in Idaho.

ttommyunger May 18, 2012 at 5:12 pm

I posted a link to this article on fb just to fuck with the local cracker-asses.

not that Radio May 17, 2012 at 5:03 pm
HistoriBarb May 17, 2012 at 5:13 pm

To be fair, he may just believe that he will be elected President because he deserves to be elected President.

I had an interview like that once – I thought I should be given the position because I was obviously the best person for the position, with no need to sell myself. I wasn't running for President of the United States though, so it may not be a valid comparison.

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