Add to Flipboard Magazine.

That's MRS. Flotus to you... So we all know by now that our First Lady Michelle Obama hates Oprah and taunted her with pie, or whatever, who cares. Our FLOTUS really has no time for ridiculous accusations, because in case you haven’t noticed, we have an obesity crisis on our hands. Michelle Obama is hard at work trying to stop this disgusting epidemic, and this week, invited another group of children to the White House, this time to talk about America’s least favorite sport: soccer! That underwear model David Beckham was there, as well as his team, whatever it’s called. Well, the Europeans must have really liked this soccer nonsense, because today, a province in southern Italy decided to dedicate a tree to our FLOTUS. Of course, in our country we prefer to name stadiums and highways after our most treasured icons, but they don’t have those things in Europe. It’s just Vespas and cigarettes, as far as the eye can see.

The province of Lecce is in the south of Italy, or in American geographical terms, “the heel part of that boot-shaped country.”

A province in southern Italy on Thursday dedicated a 1,400-year-old olive tree known as “The Queen” to US First Lady Michelle Obama because of her commitment to promoting healthy lifestyles.

The province of Lecce, in the farming region of Apulia, said that the roughly 26 gallons (100 liters) of extra-virgin olive oil made from the fruits of the giant tree would be sent to the White House every year, starting this fall.

“The First Lady has launched the ‘Let’s Move’ campaign for a healthier lifestyle and diet … in perfect harmony with the requirements of a Mediterranean diet,” the province said in a statement.

The tree has a diameter at its base of 46ft (14m) and can produce up to 1,300lbs (600kg) of olives a year.

Michelle Obama will now have to do damage control, probably, since children will just interpret this gesture as the First Lady’s endorsement of unlimited pizza. (Which wouldn’t be a bad re-election move. Maybe Biden can clarify his feelings toward pizza first?) [AFP]

Previous articleTED People Nix Income Inequality Chat In Favor Of More Prissy Totebagging Social Media Efficiency Crap
Next articleGeorge W. Bush Writing Alternate History Sci-Fi Book Where He Knows How To Run A Country