WHO?  10:52 am May 17, 2012

Billionaire Republicans Have Fool-Proof Secret Weapon Against Obama That Will Totally Work This Time

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

When will Nobama stop hugging black guys?Uh oh! It looks like some rightwing Chicago Cubs owner (?) has a secret plan to spend millions finally showing America the real Barack Hussein NOBAMA via his shadowy association with a man no one has ever heard of before and whose name you will not even recognize because of how this has never been covered! Stupid LAMESTREAM MEDIA! Time to get fitted for your inauguration crown, Governor Romney, because Bamz is about to get blown out of the water by this new, never-heard-before, super-shocking revelation!

The plan, which is awaiting approval, calls for running commercials linking Mr. Obama to incendiary comments by his former spiritual adviser, the Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr., whose race-related sermons made him a highly charged figure in the 2008 campaign.

Who? Your Wonkette has never heard of that person, because of how stupid old John McCain would not let Steve Schmidt or the other heroes of his 2008 campaign focus on race-baiting, because he is a jerk. It seems — don’t quote us, we are just jumping into this new information that nobody knew until now — that Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr. is a pastor, and he is black and controversial!

“The world is about to see Jeremiah Wright and understand his influence on Barack Obama for the first time in a big, attention-arresting way,” says the proposal[.]

The $10 million plan, one of several being studied by Mr. Ricketts, includes preparations for how to respond to the charges of race-baiting it envisions if it highlights Mr. Obama’s former ties to Mr. Wright, who espouses what is known as “black liberation theology.”

This is still John McCain’s fault, how nobody ever heard of this person who was the impetus for a trivial, non-important speech Barack Obama gave about race that nobody listened to.

The proposal suggests that Mr. Ricketts believes the 2008 campaign of Senator John McCain erred in not using images of Mr. Wright against Mr. Obama, who has said that the pastor helped him find Jesus but that he was never present for Mr. Wright’s politically charged sermons. Mr. Obama left the church during the campaign.

Apparently referring to a Wright ad that was produced for the McCain campaign by Mr. Davis’s firm but never used, the proposal opens with a quote from Mr. Ricketts: “If the nation had seen that ad, they’d never have elected Barack Obama.” [...]

The document, which was written by former advisers to Mr. McCain, is critical of his decision in 2008 not to aggressively pursue Mr. Obama’s relationship with Mr. Wright. In the opening paragraphs of the proposal, the Republican strategists refer to Mr. McCain as “a crusty old politician who often seemed confused, burdened with a campaign just as confused.”

“Our plan is to do exactly what John McCain would not let us do: Show the world how Barack Obama’s opinions of America and the world were formed,” the proposal says. “And why the influence of that misguided mentor and our president’s formative years among left-wing intellectuals has brought our country to its knees.”

Here is some fun verbiage from the plan’s introduction that does not at all sound certifiably schizo, but these days who can even know?


Looks like we are in for MOAR VETTENING, fellows — VETTENING that will prove once and for all that Barack Obama cannot stop hugging black guys! Fasten your seatbelts, for this sure to be bumpy ride! [NYT]

 
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{ 169 comments }

nounverb911 May 17, 2012 at 10:54 am

I hope the Cubbies rot in last place for the next millenium. or two.

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 11:03 am

Which would mean a change…how?

weejee May 17, 2012 at 11:06 am

Unfortunately that won't help the Ms since the Wrigley Wimps are that other league where the sillies let the pitcher bat.

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 11:08 am

Hey, it's equality and fairness, not like that corporate league where they only let girls pitch.

weejee May 17, 2012 at 11:16 am
actor212 May 17, 2012 at 11:17 am

Media types don't count. They cover sports because they couldn't play them worth a goddamn.

Of course, she could probably strike out the Ms too, cuz, you know, "girls pitch league."

BaldarTFlagass May 17, 2012 at 11:09 am

As long as the owner keeps putting his millions in misguided political campaigns instead of trying to get some bats and a closer or two, I think your wish will keep coming true.

freakishlywrong May 17, 2012 at 11:10 am

I shit you not..
In addition to using local amusement tax funds that might otherwise be spent shoring up actual public services, the Ricketts family is seeking a large federal subsidy to pay for a renovation of Wrigley Field. As the Chicago Sun-Times reported:
A resounding "Fuck NO" is in order.

V572 Is this him? May 17, 2012 at 11:34 am

Sorry, but as we were discussing yesterday, politicians gravitate towards luxury boxes like Mitt Romney toward tax shelters. They can't help themselves, particularly if it's somebody else's (i.e. taxpayers') money that will pay for them.

BerkeleyBear May 17, 2012 at 12:03 pm

You think Rahm fucking Emanuel is gonna fucking play fucking ball with fucking Ricketts after this fucking shit?

Well, sure, eventually — but not fucking today, god fucking dammit.

crybabyboehner May 17, 2012 at 11:53 am

Obama is a ChiSox fan, Ozzie Guillen was their managaer, Ozzie <3s Castro. Ergo, Obama is a commie.

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2012 at 2:00 pm

You think that's a parody? Bless your heart.

Barb May 17, 2012 at 10:54 am

"Black, metrosexual Abe Lincoln" is their other weapon. It's trending on Twitter. If this is all they have I feel pretty comfortable for a win.
。☆ 。☆。☆
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Obama * Biden
—— 2012 ——-
★。/|\。★
。☆。 。☆。

nounverb911 May 17, 2012 at 10:56 am

Nice blingyish thingy.

Barb May 17, 2012 at 11:00 am

Thanks!

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2012 at 1:46 pm

So that's what Rich Lowry saw during the Veep debate!!
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(SnowBilly Winks)
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elburritodeluxe May 17, 2012 at 11:02 am

。☆ 。☆。☆
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Super * Cool!
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freakishlywrong May 17, 2012 at 11:03 am

The fuck is the keyboard shortcut to that? It's Shweeeet!

Barb May 17, 2012 at 11:05 am

Copy and paste it, Freakishly.

freakishlywrong May 17, 2012 at 11:13 am

。☆ 。☆。☆
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Duh…ok.
★。/|\。★
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Barb May 17, 2012 at 11:16 am

Very good, Freakishly. I am working on one now that will represent Obama, eating apple pie off of Betsy Ross' titties.

DashBarb Buddha May 17, 2012 at 11:59 am

。☆ 。☆。☆
★。\|/。★
Who knew that
creativity was
only a keyboard
away
★。/|\。★
。☆。 。☆。

Barb May 17, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Love the new name, Dash!

ElPinche May 17, 2012 at 11:43 am

Nice sparkles!! I'm going to borrow it unless you copyrighted it or somethin.

JustPixelz May 17, 2012 at 11:44 am

"…I feel pretty comfortable for a win."

Plus Dick Cheney said Obama would be a one-term president. And when was last time Cheney was right about anything?

Callyson May 17, 2012 at 11:50 am

Seriously…and now Rmoney is "distancing" himself from this plan. Which means, of course, that they realize how utterly ridiculous this will look in the eyes of every American who is not already a die hard wingnut…

iburl May 17, 2012 at 11:54 am

I wish I felt comfortable. However, the stupid, racist masses have had four years of a black person being demonstrably better than them in almost every way, so, I'm afraid that there will be hell to pay. The A-holes are fired up and Obama's base is nowhere near as energized as they were last time. Not to mention Citizens United will eat our lunch.

Nostrildamus May 17, 2012 at 1:11 pm

☠ ♚ ☠ ♚ ☠ ♚ ☠ ♚ ☠ ♚ ☠ ♚
☢ ☣ ☢ ☣ ☢ ☣ ☢ ☣ ☢ ☣ ☢ ☣
Romney / Voldemort
——— 2012 —————-
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Nostrildamus May 17, 2012 at 1:14 pm

☃☃☃☃☃☃♛♛♛♛♛♛
♂◎♂◎♂◎♂◎♂◎♂◎♂◎
Marcus Bachmann
—— Whatever —–
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♂◎♂◎♂◎♂◎♂◎♂◎♂◎

Barb May 17, 2012 at 2:02 pm

That's pretty fucking awesome, Nostril

Gratuitous World May 17, 2012 at 10:55 am

No more government spending!!! (After we're done begging the city + state for millions to rehab Wrigley Field)

mrpuma2u May 17, 2012 at 11:18 am

As a long suffering Cubs fan, I am appalled by the Cubs owner, who is clearly a big gubmint RINO, with his socialsist hand held out for the big gubmint handout to fix up his shoddy ball field, eroded by decades of spilled beer, vomit and the bitter, caustic tears of the few fans actually paying attention to the games. Goat balls curse upon him.

Gratuitous World May 17, 2012 at 11:34 am

indeed. Nothing says socialism like the communal troughs

BarbdarTFlagass May 17, 2012 at 10:56 am

Guess if they do that, the Obama campaign is going to have to play the Joseph Smith card.

nounverb911 May 17, 2012 at 10:58 am

Which team did he play for?

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 11:01 am

The Moroni Nine. They beat the Mudhens in Aught-6 in the longest extra inning game in memory.

Barb May 17, 2012 at 11:02 am

The Annoying Missionaries.

mrpuma2u May 17, 2012 at 11:21 am

In Illinois back in the 1800's we knew how to deal with this Mormon cult crap.

V572 Is this him? May 17, 2012 at 11:35 am

We're talking Mountain Meadows here.

PuglyDoRight May 17, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Yes, because a polygamous charlatan that was run out of town after town and could read prophecies when he put his face into his hat is SO much more mainstream than Rev. Wright.

doloras May 17, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Funny, the Community of Christ (formerly known as the Reorganised LDS) swears that Joe Smith wasn't a polygamist at all and all that sister-wives crap was the idea of Brigham Young and the other quitters who ran away to Utah.

freakishlywrong May 17, 2012 at 10:56 am

I'll give you Jerimiah Wright when someone in the press finds the balls to ask Mittens about Ted fucking Nugent. For fuck's sake.

nounverb911 May 17, 2012 at 10:57 am

Needs more Steve Bartman.

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 10:57 am

There are some fouls that Moises Alou could never catch.

Y'know, it wouldn't surprise me if this was the same owner who gave the go-head for that college football game at Wrigley in 2010.

You know, the game where they could only use half the field because the NCAA refused to permit a game with an end zone that abutted a fucking brick wall?

PeaceWithHonor May 17, 2012 at 10:57 am

Why won't Americans hate blacks like they used to?

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 10:57 am

All I gotta say is "Goddamn, America!"

HistoriBarb May 17, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Can someone find that clip? I want to use it as my new ringtone.

DemonicRage May 17, 2012 at 10:57 am

This is so diabolical and cunning on the part of the Republicans! We are so ready to be won over and convinced. I can't wait until these tv ads begin. Poor Hopey! He must feel so insecure at this moment, knowing that the tsunami is about to be unleashed.

Chow Yun Flat May 17, 2012 at 10:58 am

Failed miserably in 2008 so why not try it again in 2012? Brilliant.

BaldarTFlagass May 17, 2012 at 11:02 am

Well, they're using the same reasoning to try and sell their economic policies. Guess that's just their strategery these days.

Callyson May 17, 2012 at 11:51 am

But they did not try hard *enough* that time. I think the answer is to work harder.

nonbeliever7 May 17, 2012 at 1:53 pm

More Anger combined with Less Logic sounds like a winner to me.

not that Radio May 17, 2012 at 10:59 am

"Mr Ricketts" should worry less about NOBAMA and his personality cult of left-wing intellectuals and more about the Curse of the Billy Goat.

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 11:02 am

Na-a-a-a-ahhhhh

ChernobylSoup May 17, 2012 at 11:00 am

For his next act, Ricketts will air an expose of Gennifer Flowers.

George Spelvin May 17, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Way too late to be exposing Gennifer Flowers.

memzilla May 17, 2012 at 11:00 am

…the pastor helped him find Jesus…

Is Jeebus lost again? You'd think the Son of God would have a better GPS.

ChernobylSoup May 17, 2012 at 11:20 am

Problem is, the search party is in Aspen looking for a white conservative. They'll never find him.

spends2much May 17, 2012 at 11:01 am

Ooh, so Mittens is going to be more of a douche than McCain! This sure will be a fun summer election season… race-baiting, so 21st century!

elburritodeluxe May 17, 2012 at 11:01 am

I'll see your crazy black preacher and raise you a crazy white religion!

nounverb911 May 17, 2012 at 11:02 am

Which one?

hollywooddood May 17, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Does this mean we get to hear more about the Planet Kolob?

prommie May 17, 2012 at 11:02 am

Hey, lets go after the candidate's religion, lets shine a light on his affiliation with a strange sect with some bizarre, un-american beliefs! That will work well for a mormon who is descended from a splinter sect of expatriot polygamous mormons!

SoBeach May 17, 2012 at 11:24 am

That's why Romney is calling for "civility" on this one. And he'll keep calling for it until he finds himself 6 points down in late September. Then the fun starts.

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2012 at 11:02 am

Fuck the Cubs! Now I have a reason to despise them beyond just South Side animus against their lilly-white, loser-tolerating yuppie and suburban fans.

prommie May 17, 2012 at 11:06 am

I have never seen a Cubs hat without an asshole under it.

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 11:09 am

BILL MURRAY LI–

Oh.

Nevermind.

proudgrampa May 17, 2012 at 11:53 am

Bob Swerski libel!

flamingpdog May 17, 2012 at 1:30 pm

I can't even go to Rockies games with the Cubs anymore because of the 20,000 assholes with Cubs hats that show up at every game. I had to guffaw at someone's comment the other day about Denver/Boulder being San Francisco and the rest of the state being Oklahoma. Boulder, yeah, but Denver??? Denver City council voted last Monday night to criminalize homelessness!

End of rant – thank you for your time and patience.

George Spelvin May 17, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Steve Goodman libel!!!!

(Admittedly, he's about the only one that springs to mind).

CarnyTrash May 17, 2012 at 11:03 am

I just saw this new movie that's going to blow your mind! I wanted to be the first to share this with everyone as I'm on top of these types of things. The movie is called "Star Wars" and it's unlike anything you've seen before. I don't want to give too much away but I'll tell you this – ROBOTS!

HistoriBarb May 17, 2012 at 12:24 pm

No way that it could be as cool as "Planet of the Apes" – that last scene with the Statue of Liberty is amazing!

nonbeliever7 May 17, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Uhhhh…SPOILER ALERT????

HobbesEvilTwin May 17, 2012 at 11:04 am

Are any of those political betting sites giving odds yet on whether Mittens or a high-placed GOP strategist will come right out before the election and say "in case you haven't noticed, he's a nig – ?

Generation[redacted] May 17, 2012 at 12:20 pm

GONG!

FakaktaSouth May 17, 2012 at 11:04 am

OH MY GOD YES! Let's make this one about what weird things are said at each guy's church. THAT would be A GREAT idea – I mean you already cannot get MItt to shut UP about all the cult-y things going on over there, I am SURE this is JUST what he needs.

Crap. I need someone to come read to me. I can do a lot on my wonkette mobile (raise my kids, stand in line, drive) but I am doing my best "Cool Hand Luke" carwash scene, painting so stuff in my picture window all bending over and what not for the yard dudes across the street and it is damn near impossible to read and type while I do this.

prommie May 17, 2012 at 11:06 am

Now thats the kind of yelling I like!

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 11:11 am

I think that's more moaning than yelling, but I see your point

Literally. Put that away before you poke someone's eye out.

prommie May 17, 2012 at 11:07 am

Lucky fucking yard dudes, what did they do to deserve this?

FakaktaSouth May 17, 2012 at 11:10 am

They showed up. I am a housewifian cliche, but fuck it, I'll take it where I can get it. I was here first, and they are cute, so let's go. I like the one guy elboing the other guy in the side and pointing stuff, I can't help it.

PuckStopsHere May 17, 2012 at 11:45 am

What are you wearing? (breathes heavily…)

FakaktaSouth May 17, 2012 at 11:54 am

Luckily, short grey soffe shorts and a tshirt so from across the street I'm all fake blonde hair. bent over and (thanks global warming for the tan) legs. Like I say, at 39 I'll get it while I can. (my workout partner bestie is 43 and looks incredible so I figure I still got quite a few years of at least across the street ogling!!)

freakishlywrong May 17, 2012 at 11:05 am

"left-wing intellectuals has brought our country to its knees.”

Dubya and Dick were left-wing intellectuals?

BarbdarTFlagass May 17, 2012 at 11:05 am

"brought our country to its knees"

I just don't see this. Why the fuck do they keep saying it?

Not_So_Much May 17, 2012 at 11:09 am

Not because they're gay and fantasize constantly about cocks and rentboys! Now leave them alone so they can have another meeting in the steam room.

SorosBot May 17, 2012 at 11:10 am

Because they figure that, if they keep repeating a lie often enough, people will believe it.

Oblios_Cap May 17, 2012 at 11:11 am

"While you're down there…"

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 11:21 am

I was just thinking about the follow up "shoving X down our throats".

What a sexy thread!

Generation[redacted] May 17, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Funny how Rush Limbaugh always says that now is the time to bend over and grab your ankles, folks!

Doktor StrangeZoom May 17, 2012 at 11:16 am

Obama bowed that one time to the Saudi King, and that other time to the Emperor of Japan. So, you know, brought to our knees. Oh, the shame! My smelling salts, please!

Chichikovovich May 17, 2012 at 12:01 pm

If only Obama would have given the Saudi King a big ol' smooch like Bush did, America would still have its pride.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 17, 2012 at 6:54 pm

If he followed it up by bouncing all over the landscape and going "woohoo!" like Daffy Duck, I would be a happy, happy boy.

BarackMyWorld May 17, 2012 at 11:06 am

Meanwhile, I will sit here and wait for some proof liberation theology is actually racist.

SorosBot May 17, 2012 at 11:14 am

Don't you see, liberation theology claims that racism still exists instead of that it was completely wiped away in 1964, and saying some white people are racist is the real racism!

Tundra Grifter May 17, 2012 at 11:18 am

Terry Gross on "Fresh Air" did a whole show about Black Liberation Theology.

I highly recommend everyone listen to it – particularly if this is the new campaign theme.

Joshua Norton May 17, 2012 at 11:06 am

Of course, if ordinary people bring up the subject of greedy billionaires buying the government then the Inside-the-Beltway talking hair-do's will clutch their pearls and fluff up the pillows of their fainting couch because Class Warfare!!!

hagajim May 17, 2012 at 11:07 am

As a long time Cubs fan I can appreciate this tack by Mr. Rickettts. After all, if he spends tons of moniez to beat Obama that might lift the Billy Goat curse. Fuck! Stupid, stupid, stupid Tommy. Concentrate on getting your baseball team to play and field a better than AAA organization. Besides, have you thought this through? If you screw with Barry, what is that feller in the Mayors office of Chi-town gonna do to screw with you? Hmmmm.

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 11:12 am

Basically, this

mavenmaven May 17, 2012 at 11:07 am

Great plan from the rich guys! Now all the Republicans need to do is find a hot unvetted woman from an unknown part of the country to run as Vice President, and voila- VICTORY!

bureaucrap May 17, 2012 at 11:07 am

So, $10m is the going rate for a dead horse? the privilege of beating it off, of course, is free.

I suppose we should be relieved — They could have used that $10million to use a proven, effective strategy against Barry, by exploring allegations that he's not a "natural born citizen." There's still plenty to look for under that rock — just ask Don Trump.

ManchuCandidate May 17, 2012 at 11:15 am

For $10 mil I can do a better job.

Barak Obama is A BLACK MAN! A BLACK US AMERICA PREZNIT!

Hey Ricketts, the invoice is in the mail.

DerrickWildcat May 17, 2012 at 11:07 am

Joe Ricketts was also bank rolling bizarro Nebraska GOP winner, Deb Fischer.
Even more curiouser is that Joe Ricketts daughter, Laura Ricketts, is gay and a LGBT big shot and a big Obama supporter.

Not_So_Much May 17, 2012 at 11:08 am

I thought 'Libertarian' was a right-wing fapping point? Is this kind bad because of the blah-ness?

weejee May 17, 2012 at 11:08 am

Mister Ricketts needs moar calcium to cure what ails him. Perhaps a concrete overcoat since the cement is just chuck-full of the calcium?

randcoolcatdaddy May 17, 2012 at 11:08 am

He's a Black gay Marxist elitist educated uppity god-hating athiest Muslin abortionist that wants to take away your guns. I guess the only stereotype the Republicans haven't used yet to make rightie voters have nightmares it is to make him a lazy Messican trying to take away your jobs.

Gypsies, perhaps? Are right-wingers afraid of gypsies? Any way they can make him a menacing Chinese? A transexual?

Sheesh. Nixon looks like an amateur bigot compared to these guys.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 17, 2012 at 11:16 am

Don't forget tramps and thieves.

Arken May 17, 2012 at 11:09 am

"who has said that the pastor helped him find Jesus"

I didn't even know he was missing!

ManchuCandidate May 17, 2012 at 11:09 am

Next they'll claim he's a Kenyan Communist Nazi Socialist Muslin.

freakishlywrong May 17, 2012 at 11:20 am

They've been doing that for nigh on six years now, Manchu. No one calls them on it, so, why not?

HobbesEvilTwin May 17, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Oh come on, Manchu. They have more class than th— oh, wait.

BarackMyWorld May 17, 2012 at 11:10 am

Jesus???

Um, I think you meant "helped him find Allah."

Oblios_Cap May 17, 2012 at 11:11 am

Mr. Ricketts? He doen't look like Don Knotts.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 17, 2012 at 11:12 am

Oh wow! I wonder if they'll also expose his surprising ties to terrorist Bill Ayers and his vote to legalize infanticide?

And, hey, have you noticed that his middle name is "Hussein"? Has anyone considered maybe saying his name like this: Barack HUSSEIN Obama"? Because I'll bet a lot of people don't know about that.

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 11:15 am

Y'know, it's almost like he's not American. I wonder if he has a birth certificate.

And I don't mean one them "summary" forms that you can get by knowing a kid's birthdate and pay $20, or them phonies you can get at any carnival. I want his goddamn long form!

SorosBot May 17, 2012 at 11:12 am

Yeah, it's not like the mainstream media covered the Rev. Wright non-stop, would not shut up about him and tried to get Obama with guilt by association, and ran the whole thing into the ground but nobody cared, because it wasn't actually a big deal.

ManchuCandidate May 17, 2012 at 11:13 am

Nor a big fucking deal.

Chow Yun Flat May 17, 2012 at 11:13 am

For a follow up Rickett will show pictures of LBJ whipping out his gall bladder surgery scar.

James Michael Curley May 17, 2012 at 11:18 am

Clever!

SayItWithWookies May 17, 2012 at 11:13 am

Finally someone's delving into the past of this mysterious unknown person who wants to be our nation's chief executive. I can't wait until we hear more about Bill Ayers and Bernardine Dorn and how George Soros can destroy entire nations with currency speculation and how Barack Obama's real father was a clone of Idi Amin and Joseph Stalin — that'll persuade America!

finallyhappy May 17, 2012 at 2:37 pm

hey, let's not forget Saul Alinsky even tho' the Pres was what- 10? when Alinsky died. Also (and I've said this before) Rev. Wright's mom was the vice principal at the Phila. HS for Girls- my school. So how come I live so close to DC and yet, the President and I have not met- when we are so closely "related"!

johnedens May 17, 2012 at 11:16 am

Wait, if Obama is a Muslim, how did this Christian preacher's Liberation Theology influence him?

PuglyDoRight May 17, 2012 at 4:08 pm

And why does he endorse gay marriage? HMMMMM?

DaRooster May 17, 2012 at 11:16 am

“If the nation had seen that ad, they’d never have elected Barack Obama.”

over

“a crusty old politician who often seemed confused, burdened with a campaign just as confused.”

Uh… yeah.

finallyhappy May 17, 2012 at 2:37 pm

"burdened with a campaign just as confused"= Snowbilly

ManchuCandidate May 17, 2012 at 11:17 am

Needs more Larry Sinclair and "Obama sucked my dick in a limo" stories.

SoBeach May 17, 2012 at 11:17 am

Yeah, all the shit wingnuts have been emailing each other for the past four years, and all the shit Hannity and Rush have been gibbering about…that's what's going to win it for Romney.

I can't wait to watch.

actor212 May 17, 2012 at 11:19 am

Ricketts is living up to his name. This story is so flimsy, it needs crutches.

Chow Yun Flat May 17, 2012 at 11:20 am

They should stop messing around with minor stuff like Reverend Wright and go with the real scandal: make him show his birth certificate–and make it the long form while you are at it.

finallyhappy May 17, 2012 at 2:39 pm

and his grades at college and Harvard and how he paid for school(not sure why that has been popping up- who do we think paid for his education- commies, muslims, fascists, the Kenyan national treasury?)

DaRooster May 17, 2012 at 11:20 am

“Our plan is to do exactly what John McCain would not let us do: Show the world how Barack Obama’s opinions of America and the world were formed…”

And this will be crazier than Mormonism how?

Oblios_Cap May 17, 2012 at 12:16 pm

That's Scientology crazy.

Tundra Grifter May 17, 2012 at 11:21 am

So the jokers pushing this astonishing campaign concept thought their 2008 candidate was “a crusty old politician who often seemed confused, burdened with a campaign just as confused.”

Speaks so much for their professionalism they were working to make this individual President of the United States. With Duh Gov'Nuh sitting on the bench in case Mr. McCain faltered.

That's what they get for taking campaign advice from Sheer InSannity. I prefer to go to a mechanic who actually drives a car.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 17, 2012 at 11:30 am

Don't be silly–they just learned the lesson that they need to nominate a Real Conservative, which is why such luminaries as Bachmann, Gingrich, Cain, and Santorum did so very well until people started actually listening to what they said.

So in 2016….

MissNancyPriss May 17, 2012 at 11:23 am

Mr Ricketts?

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2012 at 11:23 am

It was Rev. Wright's "God damn Ernie Banks, Ron Santo and that minstrel Ronnie Woo-Woo" sermon that sent Ricketts over the edge.

carlgt1 May 17, 2012 at 11:27 am

cool, let's bring religion into this. I'm sure the more psyco evangelicals hear about Joseph Smith's magical golden plates from upstate New York, the more enamored they'll be of Mittens!

Mahousu May 17, 2012 at 11:29 am

Google News archive search found only "about 11,100" references to "Jeremiah Wright" during the period 2007-8, plus another 10,000 or so to "Reverend Wright." Why, if the press had been this silent about Watergate, Nixon might still be in office!

ElPinche May 17, 2012 at 11:44 am

REV WRIGHT WAS MUSLIN PRIEST RIGHT? IM CONFUYUSED.

ZHollows May 17, 2012 at 11:46 am

It would be super awesome if Ricketts could put some of his billions into a winning Cubs team instead of meddling in politics. What a fucking dumb fuck.

PuckStopsHere May 17, 2012 at 11:46 am

So this is what they mean when they say "Chicago-style" politics!

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2012 at 2:01 pm

A deep dish of bullshit.

IonaTrailer May 17, 2012 at 11:50 am

But Dang! I thought he was a Muslim from Kenya. What about the birth certificate?

Seriously, why don't they just out on the goddamned white sheets and come out of that KKK closet?

DashBarb Buddha May 17, 2012 at 11:52 am

Definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.

ManchuCandidate May 17, 2012 at 11:53 am

Explains Supply Side Economics.

Serolf_Divad May 17, 2012 at 11:55 am

LOL, do they really want to bring religion into this race… I mean, really? Have they taken even one minute to think about who Obama is running against?

That said, I've love for this race to come down to a choice between Rev. Jeremiah Wright and Joseph Smith.

Biff May 17, 2012 at 11:56 am

But I assume that all of Mittens' "spiritual advisors" are off-limits?

ChrisM2011 May 17, 2012 at 12:04 pm

"Metrosexual?" Have they seen their candidate?

WordSaladNation May 17, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Opus caught rickets from bats?

Generation[redacted] May 17, 2012 at 12:19 pm

"Aha! See? It was the blacks who were the racist oppressors all along!" –all my white southern facebook friends.

natoslug May 17, 2012 at 12:37 pm

I dunno, having Cricket design your ultimate secret weapon doesn't seem that wise. IIRC, things usually don't go that well for him.

Generation[redacted] May 17, 2012 at 12:58 pm

NEEDZ MOAR TELEPROMPTERZ JOKES

Nostrildamus May 17, 2012 at 1:04 pm


valthemus May 17, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Donate millions of dollars to political strategists to avoid paying a few thousand in taxes. Makes perfect sense.

imissopus May 17, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Nancy Pelosi's comment on this plan: “Well, I hope they’re as successful with this campaign as the Cubs are on the baseball field."

She then added, "Have you all seen my Giants 2010 World Series ring, bitches??!!"

Nostrildamus May 17, 2012 at 1:21 pm

OneYieldRegular May 17, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Because "Abe Lincoln" is such an incredible put-down?

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Ever heard of the Pritzkers, Mr. Cubbie? They're from Chicago, and they're near the top of the Forbes 400 Families, unlike you guys, who just barely made the list. And they love them some Obama.

finallyhappy May 17, 2012 at 2:43 pm

yes,I have and I am related to Pritzkers- just not these. My relatives are in the Forbes 175,000,000

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Well at least drop that name with the greeters when you're in Chicago and get the good tables in the restaurants!!

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Wow, so the Cubs went from being owned by Old School Republicanism in the form of the Tribune Company, to being owned by Bat Shit Holdings, Inc.

Wile E. Quixote May 17, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Fuck. How can I get hooked up with a crazed right-wing billionaire so I can make the big bucks by peddling a bunch of half-assed PowerPoint presentations rehashing and recycling old teabagger talking points? I mean really, what's the hourly rate for this kind of shit?

glamourdammerung May 17, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Seriously, can someone explain to me what was so "controversial" about statements about blacks historically not getting a fair deal in this country?

PuglyDoRight May 17, 2012 at 4:06 pm

He's just pissed because Obama wears a Sox cap.

I'll agree that Obama agrees with everything Jeremiah Wright says/thinks/does when every single Catholic admits they are secret pedophiles.

Until then, suck it, Rich Ameritrade Dude.

fuflans May 17, 2012 at 4:16 pm

this is why you should never go to church.

ttommyunger May 18, 2012 at 11:53 pm

I'm late posting this; the subject of this article has already been shit-canned and now they're back on the birther thing again. Must be tough trying to create a masterpiece on canvas with no fucking paint.

freakishlywrong May 17, 2012 at 11:29 am

She's Caucasian, this will not go well with Ricketts, et al.

Jus_Wonderin May 17, 2012 at 11:29 am

Oh, oh, oh, oh……………yes!

sullivanst May 17, 2012 at 11:57 am

While we can't wish for head asploshuns, can we at least express that we wouldn't feel bad were they to happen?

PuckStopsHere May 17, 2012 at 12:36 pm

I LOVE blonde hair and legs! I LIVE for blonde hair and legs! So, scuze me while I kiss the sky (or otherwise kill of the next 90 seconds to two minutes…)

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