class war joe

Joe Biden Has Some Things To Yell At You, Rich People

What a busy few weeks it has been for VP Bitchen Camaro! There was Gentle Joe, singlehandedly making the world safe for gay love, and Scrappy Joe, singlehandedly making the world safe for little picked-on kids (with his fists!), and now there is Class War Joe, cold yellin’ at rich people like they are responsible for trashing the economy or something. Joe Biden contains multitudes! But Noah Rothman, one of Mediaite’s house conservatives, simply does not care for this version of Joe.

Applause, ladies and gentlemen, for 2012’s most ham-tacular campaign stop performance. In the roll [sic] of righteously aggrieved populist slash spectacularly wealthy and powerful office-holder: Joe Biden. [Sadly, no!]

Remember during the 2012 cycle, when tea partiers across the nation were capturing the national zeitgeist with their angry town halls and protests, the talking heads were universally wondering why President Obama was not exhibiting the same flavor of rage?

Obama heard the message and, in a scripted moment of faux-perturbation, told NBC through pursed lips that he was traveling to the Gulf Coast amidst a catastrophic oil spill to learn “whose ass to kick?”

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Yeah. That’s what this feels like.

One part manufactured rage mixed with few dollops of sound bites – unfortunately, the frothy stew that the Obama campaign was concocting was doomed from the start. The very mixing bowl into which they poured their latest concoction was tainted. Behold, “Angry Biden.”

Concern troll is concerned! Don’t worry, concern troll. Joe Biden will continue being bitchen. He cannot help it, because Scranton! Amtrak! Kitchen table! God love ‘im! [Mediaite]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

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139 comments

    1. DWW

      I'm waiting for Thug Joe, Ugly Kid Joe, Joe owning Joe the Plumber Joe………………..etc etc.

      By the way, this to Wonkette, no coverage of Mary Kennedy? Shame.

    2. DWW

      Rage monster might get a stroke though…he needs to calm down…serious anger issues. Terminator Joe.

  1. V572 Is this him?

    Git'em, Joe, our Whitmanesque veep. Sing the body electric!

    Well, maybe not that part of Whitman…just yet. But can you light a fire under high-speed rail, ASAP?

    1. Doktor StrangeZoom

      I am vast, I contain multitudes…at speeds up to 150 mph (just not in areas where freight tracks need maintenance that is being delayed because the transportation budget was held up due to a fight over the debt ceiling).

      1. V572 Is this him?

        [rail nerd alert] What we really need is dedicated right-of-way for true high-speed rail, such as the TGVs in Spain and France. The seemingly-doomed California high-speed rail initiative is supposed to do that.

        Private rail is never going to build what's needed, or share the right-of-way they own in any way that diminishes their own profits. Why would they?

        1. BerkeleyBear

          Yeah, but any sort of right of way would take massive amounts of money to acquire (either legitimately or through good old graft) and good luck getting those kinds of funds authorized. Not to mention the headache of dealing with every screechy NIMBY asshole once you start announcing rail line locations.

          Oh for simpler days, when a corrupt surveyor's bend of a curve could ensure a rail magnate acres and acres of land for pennies on the dollar and thus create a massive profit on supposedly public works.

          1. V572 Is this him?

            [even worse rail nerd alert] The transcontinental railroads were built by private money, and the attraction was that they got alternating  one-square-mile parcels of land on either side of the tracks in a checkerboard pattern. Corruption was rampant because as everyone knows private enterprise is better than socialist government stuff.If you’re actually in Berkeley CA you know there’s no common-carrier passenger rail service to San Francisco, just BART or buses. The CA high-speed rail initiative was intended to rectify this oversight; it was passed by the voters some years ago and, as a government enterprise, can employ eminent domain to acquire (or “seize,” as the wingnuts like to say) property, with compensation for the owner. So they’ve started building a segment in the Central Valley where land is cheaper and NIMBYs are fewer, and this has led to much hooting from the opponents—who wants to take high-speed rail from Borden to Fresno?The antipathy of the right towards this sort of thing is puzzlingly disproportionate. They have no problem with using taxes to build vast empty airports or to widen already environmentally disastrous highways to Sprawltopia.

          2. BerkeleyBear

            Not in Berkeley, but well aware of Cali's troubled issues with any and all major public works. The rail is just one – the Central Valley Project, designed to restore some sense after a hundred years of water rights rape by farmers, has become an epic hate fest.

  2. elburritodeluxe

    Biden's not like that easygoing, off-the-cuff, unscripted regular guy Mitt Romney, that's for sure!

  3. Mittens Howell, III

    When the hair doc mistakenly inserted radioactive plugs, mild mannered Joe became The Amazing Biden Man!

  4. ManchuCandidate

    Old Man Yells at 1%er Cloud.

    Unlike the butthurt Noah, Grampa Joe has a point. The rich and their enablers fucked up huge in 08/09 yet want to do the same again and leave all of us (globally) holding the bag while they jet off to Xanadu.

    1. DaRooster

      "…leave all of us (globally) holding the bag while they jet off to Xanadu/Denver International."

    2. James Michael Curley

      You know what happened to all those who jetted off to Xanadu? They ended up wandering aimlessly through a massive, absurdly ugly piece of real estate in the middle of NJ's largest swamp being haunted by the ghosts of all the poor renters smashed under the wheels of the Trump Juggernaut. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Xanadu_Hackensa

      1. carlgt1

        In Xanadu did Donald Trump,
        A stately pleasure dome decree,
        Where Hackensack's dirty river ran,
        Through junkyards measureless by man,
        Down to a waste-filled sea…..

    3. ph7

      Mitt's walked onto the dais like he was walking onto a yacht
      Mitt's hat strategically dipped below one eye
      His magic underpants were apricot
      Mitt's had one eye in the mirror as Mitt watched his own gavotte
      And all the young captalists dreamed that they'd be Bain's business partner
      They'd be Bain's business partner, and…

      Mitt's so vain, he probably think this song is about him
      He's so vain, I'll bet he thinks this song is about him
      Doesn't he? doesn't he?

  5. Dashboard Barb

    You know…I'd have a much easier time with the 1%-ers if they weren't, on the whole, such douchebags.

  6. FakaktaSouth

    One part manufactured rage mixed with few dollops of sound bites –

    Yes, because how could anyone REALLY give a shit about anyone but really rich guys? So fake.

    1. prommie

      Hey, cool, now we have a shouter, too! It would be so cool if Romney picks Fatty McFattyPants Christie as his VP candidate, then Fatty and Old Joe the walking Gaffe could shout at each other in the debates! A shout-off!

      1. V572 Is this him?

        They better keep a portable defibrillator handy for Christ Christly's appearances. All Joe'd have to do is ask Lard-Lad why he doesn't send his kids to public schools.

        1. sullivanst

          Also why he needs to interrupt his kid's baseball game so he can take the limo to the helicopter 100 yards away.

        2. prommie

          He is not a happy campground when he is in a setting where he can't just shout down anyone who disagrees with him, and then have them dragged out and beaten. A debate setting would make him rage mightily, perhaps enough to pop something crucial.

          1. tessiee

            "He is not a happy campground when he is in a setting where he can't just shout down anyone who disagrees with him, and then have them dragged out and beaten."

            That's pretty much true of all of them; and by the way, nice stealth snark on "happy campground".

          2. Fare la Volpe

            A debate setting would make him rage mightily, perhaps enough to pop something crucial.

            Promise?

      2. FakaktaSouth

        That would be the weirdest pair – Mitt is so stiff and Christie's so smushy, they'd be the worst Laurel and Hardy ever. I wonder if CC would really do that? The more I understand my ownself about Bain the more I like PresO's chances.

          1. FakaktaSouth

            There are those who would say my semi-coherent yell-fests are the most fun they've ever had.

        1. thatsitfortheother1

          smu-shy [smoo-she] , Adj., middle English.
          1. Corpulent.
          2. Greasy.
          3. Having a lard-like consistency.
          4. Dumb as a mud fence.

        2. Dashboard Barb

          ChristyKreem, watching poll numbers crash:

          Well Mitty…this is another fine mess you got us into!

  7. NorthStarSpanx

    That word salad was a little hard to follow Noah. . .unless it's tea party zeitgeist speechifying?

    1. prommie

      He's tearing up and stepping on the constitution, and our precious liberties, freedom socialism Kenyan!

  8. Doktor StrangeZoom

    That's "going nuclear"? I think somebody needs a refresher in Hyperbole School…OR THE ENTIRE PLANET WILL EXPLODE AND FALL INTO THE SUN!!!!!!

  9. Chow Yun Flat

    Not even Joe Biden has enough rage for the swine who want us to thank them for the economic collapse and reward them for their avarice and stupidity.

  10. memzilla

    Obama knows that Angry Black Guy isn't gonna play well in the Confeder…. err, Heartland States of America. Angry White Guy, on the other hand…

    1. V572 Is this him?

      So true. Rage is unbecoming in the (scary, blah) presidential candidate. But it's the veep's job. Look at the fine job Palin did.

      Okay, bad example…

      How about Spiro Agnew! Nattering nabobs of negativism!

  11. mavenmaven

    I hope this is a sign of the coming Barackapolypse, where we finally get some unleashed Obama. Though, sadly, I suspect it will be more Sasha and Malia think we should do the right thing again…

  12. JackDempsey1

    Anger this righteous cannot be confined.
    Let it flow freely.
    Let it rain down like bird poop on a newly-washed car.
    Let it march like hair plugs across a bald man's forehead.
    Remember the Maine.

    1. BarackMyWorld

      Poor people should spend their money on lobbyist instead of luxuries like "food" and "shelter."

  13. DaRooster

    "…the frothy stew that the Obama campaign was concocting…"

    Let's see… one eye of nEWt… one Santorum…

  14. BarackMyWorld

    Only conservatives are allowed to be angry. The lop-sided distribution of wealth status quo isn't going to defend itself! (It actually is going to defend itself, but FREEDOM.)

    1. Doktor StrangeZoom

      The truly weird thing is that it will be defended by a significant portion of those who it would happily chew up and spit out.

      1. sullivanst

        No, they want to preserve the lop-sided distribution, while changing which side they're on.

        1. tessiee

          Agreed, but it's not gonna happen. The 1% will use them up and throw them away just like it does to everybody else. This is the socioeconomic equivalent of Stockholm Syndrome.

  15. chascates

    I still want to see Joe 'The Enforcer' beating up on the 1% and taking their lunch money.

    1. V572 Is this him?

      Well the truly rich don't carry money, and their children have lunch at the boarding school dining room. But Joe could throw a handful of roofing nails under the tires of their limousines.

  16. BornInATrailer

    So not only is there not an income inequality 1%er problem, anyone getting emotional over it is also a fabrication. But his reaction is also artificial…

    Manufactured indignation for a manufactured controversy over manufactured rage because of a manufactured problem. Awesome.

  17. TootsStansbury

    If tea party capturing the national zeitgeist means horrifying the sane half of the country then ok.

  18. NorbertsRevenge

    I don't think I could be President or a millionaire. Joe Biden doesn't get me. However! Give 'em hell, Joe. Democratic congressional and senate candidates, is this really so fucking hard? I kind of think that in spite of how fucked up things are, sustained campaigning in this style would eventually result in landslide elections for Democrats. Um, trucknutz buttsex.

  19. OneYieldRegular

    righteously aggrieved populist slash spectacularly wealthy and powerful office-holder

    Rothman wrote the word "slash"? This must be the same kid who concluded his monologue at the school play by saying "Exit stage right."

    1. Doktor StrangeZoom

      He's the sort of clueless oaf who'd give a speech and read out the summary note "Message: I care"

      1. Doktor StrangeZoom

        Or that writer who gets cited in research papers for first-year English: Jones Etal.

  20. anniegetyerfun

    "Remember during the 2012 cycle, when tea partiers across the nation were capturing the national zeitgeist with their angry town halls and protests, the talking heads were universally wondering why President Obama was not exhibiting the same flavor of rage?"

    Does he mean that he expected President Obama to behave angrily toward the tea party? Because you can't really join a movement like that if the movement is pretty much trying to lynch you.

    1. sullivanst

      He means he's still privately seething that Obama failed to give him the opportunity to publish the column he's had in waiting for years about how the President's an Angry Black Man.

      1. tessiee

        Except for all the things he thinks, does, and says that prove he's "weak", or "morally weak", or "in over his head".

        1. sullivanst

          Expecting consistency out of these douchebags is about as viable as expecting facts or logic.

    2. BarackMyWorld

      Maybe he wanted Obama to yell about eliminating a trillion dollar deficit by cutting a few billion in education spending and aid to the poor, and leaving the trillion dollar defense budget and corporate tax breaks intact.

      1. glamourdammerung

        Yeah, I noticed it too, but was unsure if it was an error or just the Republican tendency to blatantly lie.

  21. freakishlywrong

    Jesus, that asshole at that "Thousandaire" site Whadda fuckin' tool. Smokin' Joe is right, they just don't get us.

  22. sullivanst

    Today I learned of two new (to me) writers (Rothman and Kevin McKee), and I also learned they're both total fucking idiots I have no interest in reading.

    Angry Biden is faux? Asphinctersayswhat?

    Also, needs another [sic] where it's claimed it was the 2012 campaign that was dominated by Tea Party anger.

    [P.S. Mr. Rothman, thanks for confirming Biden's premise that you don't get it]

  23. BarbdarTFlagass

    I can't believe that, if you count in my old Spiderman comic books and those crates of deposit bottles out in the barn, my net worth is greater than that of the Vice President of the United States of America. I hope this doesn't put me into the 1%, because then you guys probably wouldn't let me hang around here any more.

    1. Terry

      Those Spiderman comics you have would be worth a lot more if you hadn't written in comments in the margins.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        Or put the "Property of Baldar T Flagass" inkstamp on the cover and front page of every single one of them, back to issue #27. What the hell was I thinking back when I was 12 years old, anyway?

    2. Dashboard Barb

      You could be an .05%-er, and we'd still want you to stick around. You exhibit the three things that are important here: Unrestrained snark…solid smarts…and a strong sense of anti-douchebaggery.

      See, with those other folks, it's not the money…it's the douchebag.

      1. chicken_thief

        The few that I have had the opportunity to observe first hand are also seriously lacking in unrestrained snark. And solid smarts.

      1. Doktor StrangeZoom

        As we know from the experience of Bart, Milhous, and Martin with Radioactive Man #1, that just never turns out well.

    3. Fare la Volpe

      Ah nah, man. Of course we'd still let you stay here.

      Hell, Barb and Jeffers could probably buy you and three generations of your offspring, but we let them hang out because they bring the yuck-yucks and we wuvs them.

  24. dijetlo

    Today Delaware, the bulging scrotum of the tri-state area, is quivering with pride. The only thing that could have improved that display of faux outrage would have been Joe ending it with our beloved state motto. " Gimme five bucks….now get the fuck out of here".
    Today, at our State House/Toll Booth, our government officials have spontaneously raised the toll on I-95 an additional $1.00 in recognition of our contribution to the national discourse, cause seriously, that guy is golden, we aint just givin' him away.

    1. tessiee

      "Delaware, the bulging scrotum of the tri-state area"

      So, if Delaware is the nutsack, that would make New Jersey…
      *looks at map*
      Oh!
      *tee hee!*

  25. tessiee

    "Remember during the 2012 cycle, when tea partiers across the nation were capturing the national zeitgeist with their angry town halls and protests, the talking heads were universally wondering why President Obama was not exhibiting the same flavor of rage?"

    Cracka, please.

    Remember when Hillary Clinton said the kind of generic thing that white male politicians say ten times a day, and some dumb shit labeled her an "angry lesbian", and all you heard about from then on was how ANGRY she was?

    If President Obama ever came within a hundred miles of displaying ANY flavor of rage — if he so much as cussed when he stubbed his toe — they'd wet themselves like scared puppies, and from that moment on, it would become a meme like all the other bullshit memes about Obama, and the rest of us would never hear the end of "angry black man", "angry black foreigner", "angry, violent, foreign black dictator", "lynch the n****r", etc. etc.

    1. sullivanst

      All of which is why they've expended such considerable effort over the last five years to goad him into such anger.

    2. BerkeleyBear

      Key & Peele's introduction of an Obama "rage translator" (Reggie, I think) captured this perfectly. I so want the man to win a second term, if only so that he can scare a whole generation of white people into early graves once he never has to run for office again.

  26. SayItWithWookies

    Remember during the 2012 cycle, when tea partiers across the nation were capturing the national zeitgeist with their angry town halls and protests, the talking heads were universally wondering why President Obama was not exhibiting the same flavor of rage?

    Because teabaggers carrying AR-15s to rallies and yelling about second amendment solutions and how we were turning into a communist nation and were gonna be sent to FEMA death camps was just expressing their rights — whereas President Obama addressing the nation's schoolchildren the day after Labor Day was some sort of government indoctrination that frightened the shit out of Peggy Noonan?

  27. tessiee

    "Applause, ladies and gentlemen, for 2012’s most HAM-tacular campaign stop performance. In the ROLL"

    The real source of Noah Rothman's annoyance is that it was right before lunchtime when he wrote this, and he was jonesin' for a forbidden ham sangwich.

  28. Fare la Volpe

    Remember during the 2012 cycle, when tea partiers across the nation were capturing the national zeitgeist with their angry town halls and protests, the talking heads were universally wondering why President Obama was not exhibiting the same flavor of rage?

    Obama heard the message and, in a scripted moment of faux-perturbation, told NBC through pursed lips that he was traveling to the Gulf Coast amidst a catastrophic oil spill to learn “whose ass to kick?”

    Does this schmuck even understand how history works? …Because not a single bit of that happened in 2012. I know conservatives are big about shoving inconvenient crap down the memory hole, but Jesus.

  29. tessiee

    "Remember during the 2012 cycle, when tea partiers across the nation were capturing the national zeitgeist with their angry town halls and protests, the talking heads were universally wondering why President Obama was not exhibiting the same flavor of rage?"

    Yes, that was all you saw on the news during 2012:
    Tom: Diane, you notice something about President Obama?
    Diane: What do you mean, Tom?
    Tom: Well, he doesn't seem very… RAGEY… these days, does he?
    Diane: Oh, come to think of it, you're right. He *isn't* very ragey.
    Tom: Why do you suppose that is?
    Diane: I don't know, Tom. I guess he's a coward, like all of Those People.
    Tom: Well, I sure would like to see a black man in a position of power exhibit more rage.
    Diane [chuckles]: We all would, Tom.
    Tom: Coming up next, a fluffy kitten got more than he bargained for when he climbed a tree.

    1. ChessieNefercat

      "Tom: Coming up next, a fluffy kitten got more than he bargained for when he climbed a tree."

      A SQUIRREL!!?
      A perfect description of the "news" on almost any channel.

  30. Callyson

    Overheard in the Romney camp:

    Let's see, we've got Joe Biden speaking up for the non – 1% their side, so what to do? How to respond? Well…um, er…I know, I know! Attack Reverend Wright!

    Put Europe's economy in a holding pattern and I am starting to feel OK about November…

  31. glamourdammerung

    The fact that Biden is clearly more intelligent as well as simply a better person than these cretins must really be hurting their fragile widdle feeling.

  32. elgin_pelican

    Biden was one of the poorest members of Congress, so we know it's ENVY, yeah, that's the ticket.

  33. ChessieNefercat

    "Scranton! Amtrak!"

    That just sounds neat for some reason. "Scranton! Amtrak! Wolverines!

  34. Allmighty_Manos

    I don' t know about you, but I'm digging off-message Biden more than the disciplined Obama.

  35. ttommyunger

    Biden seems to have a lot more to do during an election cycle. That is as it should be. I think he is a very effective attack dog and mouthpiece; no snark.

Comments are closed.