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Fine Upstanding GentlemanAs France’s new president, François Hollande (in his little suit), is busy making German Chancellor Angela Merkel believe in stimulation, he’s also been filling up his 34-person cabinet with women (17!), non-Parisians (18!), people under 40 (7!), and fierce anti-globalists (1!). His picks have been described as “moderates,” but the wingnuts over at The Independent Sentinel are probably saying pfftttt! to that because “They are already beyond the pale in France. A friend of mine just told me that if you have four children on welfare in France, they give you a car.” Réveillez-vous, moutonnes! (Wake up, sheeple!)

The world media is trying to keep up with it all, feverishly doing backgrounders about each new appointee, including a certain Jean-Marc Ayrault, who was selected as the new French Prime Minister. This created a leetle problem for the Arabic media because…

Mr. Ayrault’s name is pronounced Ayro, which in Arabic translates to “his penis.”

Arab media outlets, struggling with their headlines, issued spelling edicts like drunken sailors. Spell it Aro. No, spell it Ayro. No, no no, Haro. How about Aygho? Oh hell, just do what Dubai-based Al Bayan newspaper did, use his first name: “Hollande Inaugurates his Mandate by Appointing Jean-Marc as Prime Minister.”

Realizing the cock-up, the French foreign ministry was right on the balls:

The potential for embarrassment prompted France’s foreign ministry to put out a statement today as Ayrault took office with the recommended spelling in Arabic. The official solution would add the letters L and T to the transliteration. Arabic is a phonetic language where normally all letters are pronounced, unlike French where these two letters in “Ayrault” are silent.

There will be no end to the jokes. Ayrault’s underlings will be saying, “Oh, and what does His Penis want now?” As far as the Arab media goes, we hope that nothing big happens in Kissimmie Florida because Kissimmie translates to “my mother’s cunt”.

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