Operation Rescue Founder Randall Terry Invites Your Wonkette To Drink Beer, Murder Children

  i love my live straight son!

shame defeatedOh that is nice, Randall Terry, the pro-life activist and “Democrat” who beat Obama in 242 percent of the Oklahoma Democratic primaries this year, has a new website, and he is inviting the “child-killers” at Your Wonkette (along with the cool dudes at RightWingWatch and the humorless nags at Jezzy) to come join him for a virtual beer!

This is awkward because Your Wonkette once made a very clever Heathers joke about Randall Terry loving his dead gay son, but then it turned out Randall Terry’s gay son was actually dead, and Your Wonkette had a brief and unwelcome (not to mention “unfamiliar”) bout with utter shame. Then we got over it, because there were children around that hadn’t yet been murdered. A woman’s work is just never done!

One time, no joke, your Editrix did in fact go so far as to take her baby son to see a live theater production of Medea on Mother’s Day — the one where she murders all her children to get back at faithless Jason, not the tubby frank lady thespianed by Tyler Perry. He was nine maybe? He liked it okay? She has yet to throw him out of the house and disown him for being a homo, though, so it looks like she won’t win any Randall Terry Prizes for Mother of the Year. Maybe you will?

Think of ProLifeWarrior as a “cyber-pub” where the troops can gather to have a beer and a shot. That means you can talk about anything you want, and we will not edit, remove, or in anyway censure what you have written. If you want to say “so-and-so is a #@%&,” that is your decision.

The reason for our editorial policy is simple: most Christian and Pro-Life blogs and on-line communities are sterile and lifeless. We prefer the rambunctious, loud, honest chaos of a crowded pub to the porcelain purity of an empty room. (The only exceptions are blasphemy, pornography, and credible threats of violence. See forum rules.) So if the child-killers at RightWingWatch or Jezebel or Wonkette want to come in and throw some punches, they are welcome to do so.

You could also think of ProLifeWarrior as a voice of resistance and recruitment, calling the Faithful out of the cyber-ghetto…into real political and cultural battle. That means we will vilify those who collaborate with the child-killers (such as NRLC or Ohio Right to Life); we will dismiss those who offer trite gimmicks in place of definitive action; we will expose and mock those who present tawdry fundraising schemes as a means to end this holocaust; and we will challenge those who cower in silence before the strong to rise from their knees and fight.

Our guiding principles and lights will be the Laws of Heaven, the fear of God (not man), and the heroes of the Scriptures, Church history, and the victorious social revolutions of the past.

Our mission is to help create the climate in which it becomes a criminal act to murder an unborn human being from conception till birth. This of course means criminalizing the pill, the patch, Plan-B, Depo-Provera, IUDs, and anything else that deliberately causes the death of an innocent human being who happens to reside in his/her mother’s womb.

So you’ve got your invitation, Wonkers. Just make sure nothing follows you home. [ProLifeWarrior]

Related

 
Related video

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

162 comments

      1. Generation[redacted]

        Dear ProLifeWarrior:

        I agree with everything you say. Thank you for expressing yourself in a clear, reasonable manner. Sincerely, Wonkette.

  1. Barb

    I'd rather be a plaything in an all chick prison, no thanks! (Or even worse, hear someone drone on about their mom being an English teacher)

    1. CthuNHu

      I believe that approximately 49% of Wonketteers would rather be a plaything in an all chick prison than pretty much anything else.

    2. Dashboard Buddha

      Dear Penthouse letters, I'm not the kind of person to write about this, but there I was, locked up for a speeding ticket. While waiting for my husband to bail me out…

    1. merlallen

      I thought we were going to get drunk and murder some doctors, that's how pro life I am.

  2. randcoolcatdaddy

    "The reason for our editorial policy is simple: most Christian and Pro-Life blogs and on-line communities are sterile and lifeless."

    Obviously, these guys haven't seen the exchanges involving anus sex, Nazi's and death threats going on the past few weeks on Facebook pages for organizations in favor of North Carolina's Amendment One…

          1. Designer_Rants

            I see no one has beat the game yet. Hint; hope you like shooting abortion doctors in their church during a Sunday service. Another hint: you have to have 110% on the "Christ is Love" meter.

    1. Godlesspanther

      It's been done, sort of, the Left Behind video game. According to the reviews (I've never played it) it is the very worst video game ever.

  3. Callyson

    This of course means criminalizing the pill, the patch, Plan-B, Depo-Provera, IUDs, and anything else

    Why not make it simple, and just criminalize recreational sex while you're at it?

  4. IncenseDebate

    help create the climate in which it becomes a criminal act to murder an unborn human being from conception till birth.

    After birth murder is ok.

    1. glamourdammerung

      Actually, they are very opposed to murdering anyone. Especially abortion doctors. Unfortunately, apparently Randall has a disorder that makes him smirk and wink a lot when he clarifies that stance.

  5. actor212

    Does this mean I get virtually drunk and virtually molest a virtual Christian woman?

    I mean virtual Christian, not virtual woman.

  6. pinkocommi

    "We prefer the rambunctious, loud, honest chaos of a crowded pub to the porcelain purity of an empty WOMB." There. Fixed. (I am sure that was what Randall Terry meant to say.)

    1. pdiddycornchips

      Yeah, rambunctious crowds like we used to have at lynchin's and witch burnin's.

  7. slithytoves

    The cognitive dissonance makes my head hurt because these people aren't experiencing any.

  8. poorgradstudent

    You know, for all the problems I've had with Randall Terry, he does sound like someone genuinely interested in a fair but rigorous debate.

    On that note I'm on five different kinds of medication for a sinus infection. Heavy booze, also, too.

  9. EatsBabyDingos

    "Blasphemy, pornography, and credible threats of violence" are the only reason I read Wonkette.

    1. valthemus

      A "No Blasphemy" rule on a web site? What next, will CW ban angst-ridden teenagers from its shows? Will MTV institute a "No Skanks" policy?

    1. Fare la Volpe

      The Faithful played at my cousin's bar mitzvah.

      Their rendition of "Free Bird" was pretty weak.

      1. sullivanst

        You'd need to be very Faithful to believe the crowd actually wanted you to play "Free Bird".

  10. pinkocommi

    "If you want to say 'so-and-so is a #@%&,' that is your decision."

    Randall Terry is a fucking asshole. Because I am the decider!

  11. actor212

    Oh I have.

    The first is the hardest. You know, they get all "MOMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" until you tape the mouths shut. After that, you get the hang of them…heh heh….quickly.

  12. Mumbletypeg

    think of it as a cyber-pub… cyber-ghetto…

    If by "virtual" he means "not grounded in reality," then I must congratulate Randall on achieving a personal milestone in self-awareness.

  13. OkieDokieDog

    Crap. I so wish my womb wasn't a dried up raisin so that I could get preggers and then abort just to satisfy Randall Terry's need to fap as he rolls around in bloody fetus parts for Jeebus.

  14. SayItWithWookies

    The only exceptions are blasphemy, pornography, and credible threats of violence. See forum rules.

    Randall Terry doesn't cotton to people saying they're going to blow up abortion clinics? This must be the kindler, gentler fascist coming out.

  15. BaldarTFlagass

    I can't wait to get all drunk and then puke on Terry Randall's virtual shoes.

  16. Jus_Wonderin

    "Our mission is to help create the climate in which it becomes a criminal act to murder an unborn human being from conception till birth. This of course means criminalizing the pill, the patch, Plan-B, Depo-Provera, IUDs, and anything else that deliberately causes the death of an innocent human being who happens to reside in his/her mother’s womb."

    Yeah? Do I go to jail if I had the misfortune to get my dick caught in a mechanical rice thresher?

  17. Fairtackle

    "The only exceptions are blasphemy, pornography, and credible threats of violence."

    dang, I got nothing to say.

    1. Fare la Volpe

      Just don't try to skullfuck Jesus. He hates when you come unto him like that.

      1. Fairtackle

        "Suffer little children to come unto me"

        I don't think he specifically ruled out skullfucking, as long as you are a little child and..suffering? Something like that.

  18. HistoriCat

    RightWingWatch or Jezebel or Wonkette

    Lumping Wonkette in with Jezebel and RWW? Randall Terry has gone too far!

    Also – virtual beer? Feh.

        1. Doktor StrangeZoom

          Obligatory ancient joke: Why is American Beer* like sex in a canoe?

          It's fucking close to water.

          ——–
          *Corporate Big Brewers, at least. Thanks to microbrews, this joke is a little less obvious than it was 20 years ago. (See! Some things do get better!)

  19. Dashboard Buddha

    "The only exceptions are blasphemy, pornography, and credible threats of violence."

    So does this mean that we can't say Jesus is going to kick your ass and then skullfuck you once he gets back?

    1. Generation[redacted]

      Is it blasphemy to say any threat involving Jesus isn't credible? Such a conundrum!

    2. pdiddycornchips

      Randy, god thinks you're a dick but he loves you anyway. He just wishes you weren't such a dick.

  20. RedneckMuslin

    OT- anybody know how I can keep my Wonkette from going to the top of the page when I click on anything?

  21. Nostrildamus

    Randall, I think I speak for all of us here when I say "#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@##@%&#@%&#@%&@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&
    #@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@
    %&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&#@%&%&".

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      Perfect. But, could you bold that last part? Because I especiallly agree with that sentiment.

  22. niblick77

    "calling the Faithful out of the cyber-ghetto" – sounds like he got Bill Ayers to write this release for him………..

  23. Arken

    "anything else that deliberately causes the death of an innocent human being who happens to reside in his/her mother’s womb."

    What happened to Republicans caring about personal responsibility. Just move to a new womb! Stupid fetus.

  24. Fare la Volpe

    The booze at Randall's pub is pretty weak, but the candied fetus is to die for.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      I really like it when they put the bowl of garlic roasted fetus on the bar. Stuff is gone in seconds!

  25. Billmatic

    A million internets to whoever found the screen cap from Heathers. I can just hear Coach yelling "I LOVE MAH DEAD GAY SON!!!"

    1. emmelemm

      Seriously, that pops into my head at regular intervals whenever it is mildly on topic. It's a classic for the ages.

  26. edgydrifter

    Smashing a "virtual" bottle over a wingnut's head isn't nearly so satisfying as the real thing (ahem–allegedly), and cyber-beer just plain sucks. No thanks, Randall.

    1. Dashboard Buddha

      Seriously…drinking cyber-beer is like liking a ice cream cone that shows up on the tv.

  27. pinkocommi

    Ok Wonketteers. Pinko commi has news. She is in fact pregnant. On purpose. And this experience has given me a whole new insight on the abortion debate and it is this. BEING PREGNANT SUCKS. Anyone who finds themselves knocked up and doesn't want to spend the next nine months horribly tired and nauseated with headaches and aching nipples and engorging body parts having to pee all the time and generally feeling like shit because something that kind of feels like an alien is growing inside of you and will give you terrible pain and stretch marks and possibly incontinence not to mention the risk of death, can go ahead and terminate that pregnancy. Because it isn't all rainbows and unicorns.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      Yay for getting knocked up on purpose! I only did that once – the FIRST time (still ended up with three kids) because you're right, being preggers sucks (only thing that sucks worse is people for whom being pregnant did/does not suck. I hate them all)."Your pregnant body at rest is exerting as much energy as a man climbing a mountain." or something like that. Mazel.

    2. Jus_Wonderin

      Thanks god about that unicorn part. I hear birthing one of those is…the worst.

    3. Hedley_Lamarr

      And a note for you guys: If you're there for the procedure, outstanding! However, I advise leaving before the placenta delivery. Seeing your significant other's Holy of Holies looking like a catcher's mitt full of lasagna is a sight you'll remember for the rest of your life. And not in a good way.

      1. Designer_Rants

        I was in the room pretty much the whole time for both of my wife's deliveries, and I didn't think anything was too gross or crazy, but then I'm kind of a hero.

        But I must have been putting off a "Loose Grasp On Reality" vibe, at least on the first kid, 'cause when it came time to cut the cord, and as I'm about to make the snip, a rogue nurse voice piped up shrilly-yet-off-handedly to say "Don't cut the baby!"

        So I snapped and murdered everyone.

    4. emmelemm

      Congratulations!

      It really makes you wonder about the Duggars and others of their ilk. Being pregnant wall-to-wall 24/7 for 20 years or so seems like the most awful thing ever.

      (For the record: I've never been pregnant.)

    5. Negropolis

      Well besides the initial personal discomfort, I'd imainge the whole part about having to raise an unwanted child is another big turn-off, especially without any money.

    6. Nothingisamiss

      Hooray for you, and I'm glad to hear they'll be another pinkocommi in this world.

    7. gurukalehuru

      Yes, but on the plus side you get everybody feeling your stomach and saying "awwww," although I guess I can imagine how some women might not see that as being on the plus side at all. In any event , congratulations!

  28. Mumbletypeg

    In spite of this effort to group-hump an assembling of perceived adversaries under the guise of some warped version of a beer summit, there's more than a whiff of desperation in Terry's gesture. Unless it was the brainchild of some of his minions, who sensed their freak-preacher needed a hug. Then at some point, began laying bets who would go first. Solved in a draw by electing to "virtual hug" their morally exhausted, personally exhausting leader. And thereby conceiving the ProLifeWarrior concept, congratulated themselves that they might never need to swap pseudo-war stories or bad jokes or near-beer with him directly in person, ever again.

  29. MissTaken

    So if the child-killers at RightWingWatch or Jezebel or Wonkette want to come in and throw some punches, they are welcome to do so.

    Jezebel throws punches like a girl.

  30. mavenmaven

    Us childkillers at Wonkette who support choice, as opposed to those right wing mass murderers who oppose health care coverage for millions of Americans?

  31. DeLand_DeLakes

    Ehn, no thanks, I'm too busy trolling actual pubs in order to acquire actual pregnancies–gotta get that Abortionplex punch card finished before the end of the month, or I won't get my free frozen yogurt!

  32. NorthStarSpanx

    1. Most Christian and Pro-Life blogs and on-line communities are sterile and lifeless.
    I thought they were pro-life? They sound lifeless and sterile. . .

    2. We prefer the rambunctious, loud, honest chaos of a crowded pub to the porcelain purity of an empty room.
    Did he just invite the Palin's over?

  33. valthemus

    "This of course means criminalizing the pill, the patch, Plan-B, Depo-Provera, IUDs…"

    Yeah, Randy, you wanna take on the pharmaceutical industry because we all know they're such mousy push-overs, notorious for instantly caving in to the demands of bible-thumping crap sacks.

  34. glamourdammerung

    But if they are going to boot people for "credible threats of violence", what are the "Operation Rescue" people planning to do while we wonder where they went?

  35. Fox n Fiends

    Have an iBeer with these clowns and tell them that Obamacare is pro-life, and watch them abort that conversation.

  36. DahBoner

    "No Blasphemy"?

    Then we can't repeat the Joseph Campbell quote about not believing in Christianity, unless everyone can be Jesus?

    Odd that ever Jew, every Muslim and every Christian are all waiting for their "saviors" to come back. When they're here all along, literally at the end of your own nose.

    BLASPHEMY RELIGIOUS SHIT 4 BRAINS

    1. Godlesspanther

      Until I get a reliable definition of the word 'blasphemy' I will have no idea what it is that I'm not supposed to do.

  37. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I have the feeling this cyberpub will have less skullfucking than my actual pub.

  38. Equality_Joe

    Think of ProLifeWarrior as a “cyber-pub” where the troops can gather to have a beer and a shot. That means you can talk about anything you want, and we will not edit, remove, or in anyway censure what you have written. If you want to say “so-and-so is a #@%&,” that is your decision.

    Just a prediction here, but is it safe to assume that this ends up boiling down to the overt racism and open calls for violence that 90% of the right-wing comment threads on the Internet already are?

  39. StealthMuslin

    Wow, just this afternoon I was thinking "I don't meet enough jerks and idiots in real life. If only there was a website where I could get my fill." Thanks, Randall Terry!

  40. Chet Kincaid

    This of course means criminalizing the pill, the patch, Plan-B, Depo-Provera, IUDs, and anything else that deliberately causes the death of an innocent human being who happens to reside in his/her mother’s womb.

    So, they want to abolish the Defense Department?

    1. Designer_Rants

      And then it will probably make a thousand times more money than 4chan does. And all of the profits will be shoved into a balloon to rise up to jeebus, natch.

  41. OneYieldRegular

    …the porcelain purity of an empty room…??

    I have a sneaking suspicion about where Randall has been hanging out lately.

  42. johnedens

    I guess Wonkette has spoiled me, but that site just does live up to its trolling potential.

  43. emmelemm

    "What is this I don't even…"

    Seriously, this is what it's come to? Bloggers aren't just ripping off other bloggers' articles, commenters are ripping off other people's comments? That is INSANE.

  44. emmelemm

    PS My mom was just telling me last night about the plagiarized papers she got turned in this week. She feels bad about it! She feels like she's somehow a loser because people turn in plagiarized papers to her.

    I did my best to set her straight, but you know that never really works.

  45. OldWhiteLies

    When randall-with-2-ells and his ilk start displaying sincerely even moderate amounts of compassion and concern to and about all the breathing-on-their-own humans ALREADY INHABITING THIS PLANET, then, and only then, will I entertain the idea that they really give a flying fuck about anything other than perpetuating their us-vs-them dichotomy.

    Til then, FOAD.

  46. chascates

    I think I've earned my warblogging stripes but have no desire to visit Randall Terry's site. Let him have a party where nobody came.

  47. Negropolis

    the one where she murders all her children to get back at faithless Jason, not the tubby frank lady thespianed by Tyler Perry.

    That was a relief. Really; I hate Tyler Perry's Madea with the heat of a thousand hot breaths.

    The only exceptions are blasphemy…

    Well, besides that, Mrs. Lincoln…So, I guess you can say "fuck her sideways with a rusty chainsaw", but "Jesus is magic!" wouldn't make the cut.

  48. ttommyunger

    I'm having a hard time fapping to this, the picture helps, but not much….the wrong guy is in the box..

  49. Godlesspanther

    Ask your bartender for an abortion:

    1 oz white creme de cacao
    1 oz amaretto almond liqueur
    1 oz Bailey's® Irish cream
    1 splash grenadine syrup

    Pour the creme de cacao into a shot glass. Layer the amaretto and then the bailey's to create a 3 layer drink. Insert a toothpick to the bottom of the shot glass and dribble some grenadine so it floats in the bottom of the glass.

  50. elburritodeluxe

    I think I'd rather have a beer at the Al Qaeda Cafe than a Randall Terry hangout.

Comments are closed.