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Mike Huckabee Declares War On Obama’s ‘Morally Repugnant Political Whores’

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SnobEach day is an adventure for Mike Huckabee. Some days he’s all happy and a-slappin’ the bass and whizzing off churchy jokes to his elderly fan base, other days he’s angry as a constipated cockatoo in search of the great release. (Other days he is a leading possibility for President of the United States of America, but hopefully those days are over.) What’s his fucking problem now? Something about “morally repugnant political whores,” one of the more redundant phrases out there.

He’s working with the famously populist grassroots democracy defenders at Citizens United to start something called “Obama Fundraising Watch,” something that would be much easier were it not for the limited fundraising transparency that came in the wake of the Citizens United Supreme Court ruling. “In his administration and now on his reelection campaign,” Huckabee writes in a letter supporting this new venture, “President Obama has surrounded himself with morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics.” From Buzzfeed:


And now here’s a video of Mike Huckabee slappin’ the bass with a non-morally repugnant political whore without misshapen values and gutter-level ethics:


About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • NorthStarSpanx

    My misshapen values are tarted up beautifully with a little spanx thank you very much!

    • actor212

      I know when my morals start to sag, nothing picks them up and puts them in their place like a little spandex!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics"

    I thought those were the minimum requirements to go into politics.

  • DaRooster

    Yep, 'cuz that Terd Nugget is a real upstanding individual.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      When you have no values whatsoever, they can't be misshapen, can they?

  • EdFlintstone

    So when did Sarah Palin join Obama's re-election campaign?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      OT, sorta: The other day I went to Network Solutions to see if a certain website was avaiable. It was, in all the suffixes.

      About two days later I get an auto-email from NS asking "….if I was still interesting in purchasing 'SarahPalinIsACunt<dot>com'"?

      I snortled coffee on my morning monitor.

  • HippieEsq

    Let's play word association…who do YOU think of when you hear the phrase "morally repugnant poltical whore" (other than Ted Nugent, duh)….I'll go with….

    Tom DeLay.

    • Baconzgood


      • Fare la Volpe

        goes in the anus to rupture intestines.

    • actor212

      David Vitter

      • HippieEsq

        good one. morally repugnant whore who also bangs whores.

        • actor212

          Hey, Cocktober is not so far away that you shouldn't start thinking about gifts!

    • Billmatic


      Oh wait you were expecting me to take a shot at the right.

      • Chet Kincaid

        The "morally weak" thread is over there.

        • HippieEsq

          I'd propose "morally upstanding FOR a political whore"!

    • FakaktaSouth

      John "Tobacco Lobby Checks on the House Floor" Boehner for 500.

    • Callyson

      Republicans. AOTK.

      • HippieEsq

        Even Arnold?

        (yes I know…ESPECIALLY Arnold!)

      • bikerlaureate

        The most repugnant of which has to be Turdblossom.

  • gullywompr

    Yeah, but they love me long time.

  • Baconzgood

    “Mitt has surrounded himself with morally repugnant Wall Street whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics.”


    • Callyson

      "The Republican Party has surrounded itself with morally repugnant Wall Street whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics.”


  • WhatTheHeck

    When you pays your money for a whore, you want them to be morally repugnant.

    • WhatTheHeck

      … a friend told me.

      • Baconzgood

        I don't remember saying that to you. Was I drunk? 'Cause it SOUNDS like somthing I'd say.

        • WhatTheHeck

          “Friends don’t let friends go off half-cocked.”

          That’s something you would say.

      • actor212

        Man, I want them to be amoral.

        My trouble is, they end up asexual. Another good bottle of tequila wasted.

        • Mittens Howell, III

          Asexual whores? Now that's morally repugnant.

          • actor212

            What? You've never been rolled as a drunk?

        • Negropolis

          A lot of men apparently enjoy a sexually ambivalent whore.

  • mavenmaven

    Obama is surrounded by Catholics? Isn't that how this type of fundie traditionally understands the "whore of babylon"? Must be hard for these guys to remember who all their whores are all the time.

    • Chet Kincaid

      Can't tell their whores without a whorecard.

    • Negropolis

      Well, the Protestants were againast the Catholics until a Blah got in the White House. At the moment, they are the best of frenemies.

  • Arken

    “In his administration and now on his reelection campaign,” Huckabee writes in a letter supporting this new venture, “President Obama has surrounded himself with morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics.”

    "And despite that, he never asked me!"

  • Baconzgood

    Les Claypool needs to kick him in the teeth for picking up a bass.

    • Chichikovovich

      I know we are posting in the new, Quaker Wonkette, so I'll choose my words carefully: If James Jamerson and Rick Danko were still alive, Huckabee wouldn't be for long.

      • Baconzgood

        I always found writing "Under the old rules I would have said" before I say anything that could get Wonkette mad at me now, works well.

      • Chet Kincaid

        Entwistle was a damn good shot, per "The Kids Are Alright." It's just an observation!

        • Baconzgood

          A Quick One While He's Away (the live version that the Stones were pissed off about) is the best Who song in my world.

        • jqheywood

          Let's not forget the recently departed Donald "Duck" Dun….

          ….Cause I'm a soul man….

        • doloras

          I smoked a joint with Chris Squire once.

  • Fox n Fiends

    Behold, your new AM radio team: "Huck n tha Nuge!"

  • DaRooster

    He should surround himself with clean, nice fellas, like the Koch Bros., Trump, Rupert… you know, folks that know what this country needs to help people feel better about their country and that will help the middle class rise up…

  • Texan_Bulldog

    "morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics." Mikey must be looking in the mirror seeing that he used to be a preacher but totally threw Jesus & Arkansas under the bus for the more lucrative Fox gig.

  • edgydrifter

    Misshapen values and gutter-level ethics are my best features. Don't be a hater, Huck.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Man, they really rock on Fox News.

    • LesBontemps

      Stompin' at the Best Western.

  • SorosBot

    “President Obama has surrounded himself with morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics.”

    Wait, Obama's surrounded himself with fundamentalist Christians like Huckabee?

  • Fairtackle

    Huckabee's Romney endorsement in 3, 2, 1…

  • weejee

    ‘Morally Repugnant Political Whores’

    As opposed to Karl Rove and Dick Tuck??

    / illogicality reaches critical mass and brain has thermonuke asplosion.

    • doloras

      Dick Tuck? Is that a new rude name for Ann Coulter?

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Huckabee, Pawlenty and Nugent formed a band called "The Irellevants." Causes cats to sleep in a room full of rocking chairs.

    • Chet Kincaid

      With John Hunstman in a sparkly silver Wakeman-cape on keyboards.

  • Weenus299

    I'm more upset with the misplaced comma in the first graph that makes me want to call him a morally repugnant political whore and comma misplacer.

  • Chet Kincaid

    Yet another "affable conservative" who Stewart and Colbert thought they could reason with.

  • SayItWithWookies

    "…morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics."

    That's my kinda crowd, Huckabee, you sanctimonious, overstuffed, crypto-theocratic, sadistic, talentless, reactionary, two-bit North Louisianan inbred hack.

    • gullywompr

      Tell it, Wooks.

      • Chet Kincaid

        Make it plain, now!

  • Baconzgood

    Morally repugnant political whores are people too my friend.

  • bureaucrap

    I think "morally repugnant" is wingnut-speak for homersexual.

    • Negropolis

      Is a homersexual someone that gets off on dim, bald, yellow men?

  • Chet Kincaid

    Huckabee, you fucking idiot, "preacher" and/or phony, what the fuck do you think "Cat Scratch Fever" is about?!

    • actor212

      Helping the brown babies in Africa?

    • Billmatic


    • Chichikovovich

      It's about the desire for an activity that is absolutely 100% OK with the Big Guy upstairs as long as you get saved afterwards. Or, if you're already saved, as long as you beg forgiveness for your "backsliding".

  • smokefilledroommate

    When it comes to his fundraising, his arrogant audacity amazes me and his sharpie tactics alarm me.
    He's obviously not seen Obama's Bic tactics.

    • Boojum

      Therefore, send money!

  • actor212

    morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics

    Why, yes! Some of my best friends ARE Republicans!

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Bammz is just surrounding himself with the morally repugnant so that he can show them the error of their ways…..and convert them to Islam.

  • Chet Kincaid

    The Viggo-Mortensen-looking drummer wisely plays behind giant Perspex screens to keep the "Nuge" and the "Huckabee" from infecting him like Hep-C.

  • Chick-Fil-Atheistâ„¢

    Methinks Ted never offered to mouth-fuck Mike Huckabee's press corps.

  • valthemus

    It's funny how Huckabee seems to imply that Republicans *aren't* political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics. Hasn't he met Frank Luntz?

    • jqheywood

      Luntz…talk about misshapen whores in the gutter…

  • Jus_Wonderin

    No, Huck. We can't agree. Snark off: So the day Obama was sworn in is when the US offically went to pot? Fuck you Huck! Fuck your lack of memory of the fuckin' Bush years!

    • finallyhappy

      Did you forget President Obama is black? What more explanation is necessary for the GOP base?

  • KommunistKitty

    As a self-identified morally repugnant whore, I am deeply offended at being lumped in with the "political."

  • TootsStansbury

    He has nerve calling others misshapen. Strong rat characteristics with this one; but fleshy too. I'm going to have to go with rat-Jabba.

  • MissTaken

    Can't get cat scratch fever without a few morally repugnant political whores.

  • actor212

    Ginger, is that a putter in Huckabee's hands or is he just happy to meet some voters?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    You know what else is really morally repugnant? Raising up a son in such a manner that he would actually torture and kill a dog. A fucking dog. That is just fucking disgusting. This whole country is going to pot. Talk about misshapen values.

  • Chet Kincaid

    Later, Huckabee brought out his wife to sit stage-left on a stool while they serenaded her with a tender, acoustic version of "Wango Tango."

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Hey Mike you morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics, how many cop killers and murdering rapists has President Obama pardoned? Oh wait, unlike you, that would be none. He hasn't even pardoned any drunk drivers like your good friend and colleague Haley Barbour. So why don't you shut the fuck up, and don't assume that because you have "Reverend" in front of your name that you'll be spared an ass-kicking if you ever set foot in Washington State.

    • Chichikovovich

      Now Wile E., be fair. It's true that Wayne Dumond was let out of jail thanks to Huckabee's intercession, and it's true that Dumond then went on to rape and murder two more young women. But there were good reasons: Dumond claimed to have converted to evangelical Christianity, and even more important, one of his earlier victims had been a third cousin of Bill Clinton.

      • Wile E. Quixote

        So you're saying that when confronted with an evangelical Christian I should stand my ground in case he's a murdering rapist who was pardoned by Mike Huckabee. OK, I can work with that.

      • Boojum

        In Arkansas, finding two people who aren't at least third cousins is the hard part.

  • dadanarchist

    “morally repugnant political whores"

    Ew. Sounds like pillow-talk between Ann Coulter and Tucker Carlson.

    ….. guess which one's the bottom…..

    • actor212

      There are some images that should never be.

      Kill it. Kill it with fire.

  • MozakiBlocks

    "morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics."

    Ok, I can't stand Mike Huckabee but I am so writing this insult down to use on someone.

  • glamourdammerung

    Maybe someone should tell Huckabee that there is a rule in that Babble of his about "bearing false witness".

  • sullivanst

    If Huckabee ever needs a job, any cinema would be overjoyed to have him. He's a true master of projection.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Plus you can use his ass as an IMAX screen.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Is he just being a dick because he's all big and fat again? Calorically Repugnant much there, Mike?

    Also, Wang Dang Sweet Poon Tang.

    • prommie

      I thought we were babykillers?

      • FakaktaSouth

        What the fuck are you doing here all of a sudden?
        And yes. Babykillers.

        • prommie

          Sometimes I have to leave my office, my windowless cell of horror in which I grow old and cynical, and do some workin' away from the computer. But when I get back, the first thing I do is go to Wonkette and check to see what gems Fakakta has left for me.

          • FakaktaSouth

            And I am going to do what I can to not think about what kind of weirdo I am for grinning. Ah well, I am glad you got to have a field trip today anyway I suppose.

          • prommie

            I saw the Empire State Building! And Weehawken. Someone just kill me.

          • FakaktaSouth

            Oh wow. People I know would be braggin on fb about being that close to the Lincoln Tunnel. Perspective is everything.

          • bagofmice

            How do you get signal in the tunnel?

    • actor212

      I'll bet you say that to all the Morally Repugnant Political Whores

  • Eve8Apples

    Morally Repugnant Political Whores is the name of my new band.

    And we're looking for a bass player Mike.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Do you think he knows one?

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Knows one? Looks like he ate two.

  • Equality_Joe

    And yet, Obama's still way too good for Mike Huckabee.

  • GeneralLerong

    Drat that Jesus, sitting down to lunch with publicans and sinners. Setting a bad example for Christians everywhere.

  • Tundra Grifter

    "…a-slappin’ the bass…"

    Is that the maritime version of choking the chicken?

  • Come here a minute

    "Slappin' the bass"? Why does Mike Huckabee abuse defenseless fish?

  • Tundra Grifter

    "Gutter-level ethics" would be a step up for The Nuge.

  • rickmaci

    "morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics"

    I assume he means Rethuglican K Street lobbyists.

    • bagofmice

      The food is so crappy on k street. They must be making a fortune off of lobbyists charging lunch on their credit card.

  • barto

    Oooo, the man can talk dirty!

  • Karma_Suture

    What's all this I hear about Orally repugnant Popsicle stores?

    Emiley that's "morally repugnant political whores."

    Oh…. nevermind

  • owhatever

    We got all the morals, we got all the morals. Nyah nyah na nyah nyah.

  • smitallica

    A note to anyone in politics out there:

    If Ted Nugent or Chuck Norris strongly agree with you, you're wrong.

  • Troglodeity

    Of course, he's not using the word "whores" to refer to a specific gender. No "Republican War on Women" to be seen here, just move along …

  • Troglodeity

    I guess we'll never know specifically who Huckabee's referring to as "morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter ethics," because, hey, that wouldn't be Christian and all.

  • Troglodeity

    You're all wrong: Huckabee is actually complimenting the President. He didn't call Obama himself a morally repugnant political whore with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics. It's just that poor Obama has surrounded himself with creatures like Robert Gates, Ray LaHood, and Jon Huntsman.

  • GeorgiaBurning

    I see Huck never outgrew the "I know you are but what am I?" tactic of debate.

  • MissNancyPriss

    Was it Huckabee's kids that were hacking up dogs and cats?

    • finallyhappy

      which senator did that while in med school? Adopted shelter cats and then killed them to practice anatomy. True story

  • DrunkIrishman

    What a fat, miserable, ugly fuck. I know it's been a few years since you saw your dick, but you don't have to take it out on the rest of humanity.

  • Veritas78

    Huckabee works on behalf of Citizens United, and then complains when the president responds to the judgement in favor of Citizens United by adopting the very tactics that Citizens United sued to allow.

    Okay, then.

  • Negropolis

    Hey, Fuck-a-bee. Call me when your party decides to kick the money-changers out of the temple. Kay-thanx-bi.

  • didgen

    I don't know, I think I kind of like the place better since it started going to pot. Now, where did I put that vaporizer?

  • ttommyunger

    "Repugnant and misshapen"? Project much Mikey? (I had to post this link on twitter & fb, too rich to pass up)

  • elburritodeluxe

    Mr. Huckabee is a pugnant political whore. Them's the good kind!

  • gurukalehuru

    Huckabee's kid, Mitt Romney, that donor of Mitt's that killed and BBQed a dog – it's starting to seem like animal abuse is almost as common in the Republican party as closeted homosexuality. Well, maybe not THAT common.

  • notanncoulter

    I'll take "Words you would use to describe Tom Delay" for $200, please?

  • Tricky_Dick

    This asshole is getting fat again.