PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL ALIVE  4:20 pm May 16, 2012

Mike Huckabee Declares War On Obama’s ‘Morally Repugnant Political Whores’

by Jim Newell

SnobEach day is an adventure for Mike Huckabee. Some days he’s all happy and a-slappin’ the bass and whizzing off churchy jokes to his elderly fan base, other days he’s angry as a constipated cockatoo in search of the great release. (Other days he is a leading possibility for President of the United States of America, but hopefully those days are over.) What’s his fucking problem now? Something about “morally repugnant political whores,” one of the more redundant phrases out there.

He’s working with the famously populist grassroots democracy defenders at Citizens United to start something called “Obama Fundraising Watch,” something that would be much easier were it not for the limited fundraising transparency that came in the wake of the Citizens United Supreme Court ruling. “In his administration and now on his reelection campaign,” Huckabee writes in a letter supporting this new venture, “President Obama has surrounded himself with morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics.” From Buzzfeed:

FFFFFFFFuckabees!

And now here’s a video of Mike Huckabee slappin’ the bass with a non-morally repugnant political whore without misshapen values and gutter-level ethics:

[Buzzfeed]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 130 comments }

NorthStarSpanx May 16, 2012 at 4:24 pm

My misshapen values are tarted up beautifully with a little spanx thank you very much!

actor212 May 16, 2012 at 4:32 pm

I know when my morals start to sag, nothing picks them up and puts them in their place like a little spandex!

BaldarTFlagass May 16, 2012 at 4:24 pm

"morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics"

I thought those were the minimum requirements to go into politics.

DaRooster May 16, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Yep, 'cuz that Terd Nugget is a real upstanding individual.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 16, 2012 at 6:35 pm

When you have no values whatsoever, they can't be misshapen, can they?

EdFlintstone May 16, 2012 at 4:24 pm

So when did Sarah Palin join Obama's re-election campaign?

Jus_Wonderin May 16, 2012 at 4:44 pm

OT, sorta: The other day I went to Network Solutions to see if a certain website was avaiable. It was, in all the suffixes.

About two days later I get an auto-email from NS asking "….if I was still interesting in purchasing 'SarahPalinIsACunt<dot>com'"?

I snortled coffee on my morning monitor.

HippieEsq May 16, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Let's play word association…who do YOU think of when you hear the phrase "morally repugnant poltical whore" (other than Ted Nugent, duh)….I'll go with….

Tom DeLay.

Baconzgood May 16, 2012 at 4:29 pm

N-E-W-T?

Fare la Volpe May 16, 2012 at 4:38 pm

goes in the anus to rupture intestines.

actor212 May 16, 2012 at 4:33 pm

David Vitter

HippieEsq May 16, 2012 at 4:38 pm

good one. morally repugnant whore who also bangs whores.

actor212 May 16, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Hey, Cocktober is not so far away that you shouldn't start thinking about gifts!

Billmatic May 16, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Obama.

Oh wait you were expecting me to take a shot at the right.

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 4:40 pm

The "morally weak" thread is over there.

HippieEsq May 16, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I'd propose "morally upstanding FOR a political whore"!

FakaktaSouth May 16, 2012 at 4:51 pm

John "Tobacco Lobby Checks on the House Floor" Boehner for 500.

Callyson May 16, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Republicans. AOTK.

HippieEsq May 16, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Even Arnold?

(yes I know…ESPECIALLY Arnold!)

bikerlaureate May 16, 2012 at 10:06 pm

The most repugnant of which has to be Turdblossom.

gullywompr May 16, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Yeah, but they love me long time.

Baconzgood May 16, 2012 at 4:25 pm

“Mitt has surrounded himself with morally repugnant Wall Street whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics.”

FIXED

Callyson May 16, 2012 at 5:04 pm

"The Republican Party has surrounded itself with morally repugnant Wall Street whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics.”

/expanded

WhatTheHeck May 16, 2012 at 4:26 pm

When you pays your money for a whore, you want them to be morally repugnant.

WhatTheHeck May 16, 2012 at 4:27 pm

… a friend told me.

Baconzgood May 16, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I don't remember saying that to you. Was I drunk? 'Cause it SOUNDS like somthing I'd say.

WhatTheHeck May 16, 2012 at 4:49 pm

“Friends don’t let friends go off half-cocked.”

That’s something you would say.

actor212 May 16, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Man, I want them to be amoral.

My trouble is, they end up asexual. Another good bottle of tequila wasted.

Mittens Howell, III May 16, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Asexual whores? Now that's morally repugnant.

actor212 May 16, 2012 at 4:45 pm

What? You've never been rolled as a drunk?

Negropolis May 16, 2012 at 11:17 pm

A lot of men apparently enjoy a sexually ambivalent whore.

mavenmaven May 16, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Obama is surrounded by Catholics? Isn't that how this type of fundie traditionally understands the "whore of babylon"? Must be hard for these guys to remember who all their whores are all the time.

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Can't tell their whores without a whorecard.

Negropolis May 16, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Well, the Protestants were againast the Catholics until a Blah got in the White House. At the moment, they are the best of frenemies.

Arken May 16, 2012 at 4:26 pm

“In his administration and now on his reelection campaign,” Huckabee writes in a letter supporting this new venture, “President Obama has surrounded himself with morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics.”

"And despite that, he never asked me!"

Baconzgood May 16, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Les Claypool needs to kick him in the teeth for picking up a bass.

Chichikovovich May 16, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I know we are posting in the new, Quaker Wonkette, so I'll choose my words carefully: If James Jamerson and Rick Danko were still alive, Huckabee wouldn't be for long.

Baconzgood May 16, 2012 at 4:53 pm

I always found writing "Under the old rules I would have said" before I say anything that could get Wonkette mad at me now, works well.

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Entwistle was a damn good shot, per "The Kids Are Alright." It's just an observation!

Baconzgood May 16, 2012 at 4:57 pm

A Quick One While He's Away (the live version that the Stones were pissed off about) is the best Who song in my world.

jqheywood May 16, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Let's not forget the recently departed Donald "Duck" Dun….

….Cause I'm a soul man….

doloras May 16, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I smoked a joint with Chris Squire once.

Fox n Fiends May 16, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Behold, your new AM radio team: "Huck n tha Nuge!"

DaRooster May 16, 2012 at 4:27 pm

He should surround himself with clean, nice fellas, like the Koch Bros., Trump, Rupert… you know, folks that know what this country needs to help people feel better about their country and that will help the middle class rise up…

Texan_Bulldog May 16, 2012 at 4:27 pm

"morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics." Mikey must be looking in the mirror seeing that he used to be a preacher but totally threw Jesus & Arkansas under the bus for the more lucrative Fox gig.

edgydrifter May 16, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Misshapen values and gutter-level ethics are my best features. Don't be a hater, Huck.

BaldarTFlagass May 16, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Man, they really rock on Fox News.

LesBontemps May 16, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Stompin' at the Best Western.

SorosBot May 16, 2012 at 4:28 pm

“President Obama has surrounded himself with morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics.”

Wait, Obama's surrounded himself with fundamentalist Christians like Huckabee?

Fairtackle May 16, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Huckabee's Romney endorsement in 3, 2, 1…

weejee May 16, 2012 at 4:28 pm

‘Morally Repugnant Political Whores’

As opposed to Karl Rove and Dick Tuck??

/ illogicality reaches critical mass and brain has thermonuke asplosion.

doloras May 16, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Dick Tuck? Is that a new rude name for Ann Coulter?

EatsBabyDingos May 16, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Huckabee, Pawlenty and Nugent formed a band called "The Irellevants." Causes cats to sleep in a room full of rocking chairs.

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 4:43 pm

With John Hunstman in a sparkly silver Wakeman-cape on keyboards.

Weenus299 May 16, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I'm more upset with the misplaced comma in the first graph that makes me want to call him a morally repugnant political whore and comma misplacer.

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Yet another "affable conservative" who Stewart and Colbert thought they could reason with.

SayItWithWookies May 16, 2012 at 4:31 pm

"…morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics."

That's my kinda crowd, Huckabee, you sanctimonious, overstuffed, crypto-theocratic, sadistic, talentless, reactionary, two-bit North Louisianan inbred hack.

gullywompr May 16, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Tell it, Wooks.

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Make it plain, now!

Baconzgood May 16, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Morally repugnant political whores are people too my friend.

bureaucrap May 16, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I think "morally repugnant" is wingnut-speak for homersexual.

Negropolis May 16, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Is a homersexual someone that gets off on dim, bald, yellow men?

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Huckabee, you fucking idiot, "preacher" and/or phony, what the fuck do you think "Cat Scratch Fever" is about?!

actor212 May 16, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Helping the brown babies in Africa?

Billmatic May 16, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Kitties!

Chichikovovich May 16, 2012 at 4:51 pm

It's about the desire for an activity that is absolutely 100% OK with the Big Guy upstairs as long as you get saved afterwards. Or, if you're already saved, as long as you beg forgiveness for your "backsliding".

smokefilledroommate May 16, 2012 at 4:32 pm

When it comes to his fundraising, his arrogant audacity amazes me and his sharpie tactics alarm me.
He's obviously not seen Obama's Bic tactics.

Boojum May 16, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Therefore, send money!

actor212 May 16, 2012 at 4:33 pm

morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics

Why, yes! Some of my best friends ARE Republicans!

Blueb4sunrise May 16, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Bammz is just surrounding himself with the morally repugnant so that he can show them the error of their ways…..and convert them to Islam.

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 4:35 pm

The Viggo-Mortensen-looking drummer wisely plays behind giant Perspex screens to keep the "Nuge" and the "Huckabee" from infecting him like Hep-C.

Chick-Fil-Atheistâ„¢ May 16, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Methinks Ted never offered to mouth-fuck Mike Huckabee's press corps.

valthemus May 16, 2012 at 4:37 pm

It's funny how Huckabee seems to imply that Republicans *aren't* political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics. Hasn't he met Frank Luntz?

jqheywood May 16, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Luntz…talk about misshapen whores in the gutter…

Jus_Wonderin May 16, 2012 at 4:40 pm

No, Huck. We can't agree. Snark off: So the day Obama was sworn in is when the US offically went to pot? Fuck you Huck! Fuck your lack of memory of the fuckin' Bush years!

finallyhappy May 17, 2012 at 7:39 am

Did you forget President Obama is black? What more explanation is necessary for the GOP base?

KommunistKitty May 16, 2012 at 4:42 pm

As a self-identified morally repugnant whore, I am deeply offended at being lumped in with the "political."

TootsStansbury May 16, 2012 at 4:43 pm

He has nerve calling others misshapen. Strong rat characteristics with this one; but fleshy too. I'm going to have to go with rat-Jabba.

MissTaken May 16, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Can't get cat scratch fever without a few morally repugnant political whores.

actor212 May 16, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Ginger, is that a putter in Huckabee's hands or is he just happy to meet some voters?

BaldarTFlagass May 16, 2012 at 4:45 pm

You know what else is really morally repugnant? Raising up a son in such a manner that he would actually torture and kill a dog. A fucking dog. That is just fucking disgusting. This whole country is going to pot. Talk about misshapen values.

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Later, Huckabee brought out his wife to sit stage-left on a stool while they serenaded her with a tender, acoustic version of "Wango Tango."

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Hey Mike you morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics, how many cop killers and murdering rapists has President Obama pardoned? Oh wait, unlike you, that would be none. He hasn't even pardoned any drunk drivers like your good friend and colleague Haley Barbour. So why don't you shut the fuck up, and don't assume that because you have "Reverend" in front of your name that you'll be spared an ass-kicking if you ever set foot in Washington State.

Chichikovovich May 16, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Now Wile E., be fair. It's true that Wayne Dumond was let out of jail thanks to Huckabee's intercession, and it's true that Dumond then went on to rape and murder two more young women. But there were good reasons: Dumond claimed to have converted to evangelical Christianity, and even more important, one of his earlier victims had been a third cousin of Bill Clinton.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 5:33 pm

So you're saying that when confronted with an evangelical Christian I should stand my ground in case he's a murdering rapist who was pardoned by Mike Huckabee. OK, I can work with that.

Boojum May 16, 2012 at 6:56 pm

In Arkansas, finding two people who aren't at least third cousins is the hard part.

dadanarchist May 16, 2012 at 4:49 pm

“morally repugnant political whores"

Ew. Sounds like pillow-talk between Ann Coulter and Tucker Carlson.

….. guess which one's the bottom…..

actor212 May 16, 2012 at 4:58 pm

There are some images that should never be.

Kill it. Kill it with fire.

MozakiBlocks May 16, 2012 at 4:49 pm

"morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics."

Ok, I can't stand Mike Huckabee but I am so writing this insult down to use on someone.

glamourdammerung May 16, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Maybe someone should tell Huckabee that there is a rule in that Babble of his about "bearing false witness".

sullivanst May 16, 2012 at 4:54 pm

If Huckabee ever needs a job, any cinema would be overjoyed to have him. He's a true master of projection.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Plus you can use his ass as an IMAX screen.

FakaktaSouth May 16, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Is he just being a dick because he's all big and fat again? Calorically Repugnant much there, Mike?

Also, Wang Dang Sweet Poon Tang.

prommie May 16, 2012 at 4:57 pm

I thought we were babykillers?

FakaktaSouth May 16, 2012 at 5:01 pm

What the fuck are you doing here all of a sudden?
And yes. Babykillers.

prommie May 16, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Sometimes I have to leave my office, my windowless cell of horror in which I grow old and cynical, and do some workin' away from the computer. But when I get back, the first thing I do is go to Wonkette and check to see what gems Fakakta has left for me.

FakaktaSouth May 16, 2012 at 5:26 pm

And I am going to do what I can to not think about what kind of weirdo I am for grinning. Ah well, I am glad you got to have a field trip today anyway I suppose.

actor212 May 16, 2012 at 5:11 pm

I'll bet you say that to all the Morally Repugnant Political Whores

Eve8Apples May 16, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Morally Repugnant Political Whores is the name of my new band.

And we're looking for a bass player Mike.

SayItWithWookies May 16, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Do you think he knows one?

Jus_Wonderin May 16, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Knows one? Looks like he ate two.

Equality_Joe May 16, 2012 at 4:59 pm

And yet, Obama's still way too good for Mike Huckabee.

GeneralLerong May 16, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Drat that Jesus, sitting down to lunch with publicans and sinners. Setting a bad example for Christians everywhere.

Tundra Grifter May 16, 2012 at 5:08 pm

"…a-slappin’ the bass…"

Is that the maritime version of choking the chicken?

Come here a minute May 16, 2012 at 5:09 pm

"Slappin' the bass"? Why does Mike Huckabee abuse defenseless fish?

Tundra Grifter May 16, 2012 at 5:11 pm

"Gutter-level ethics" would be a step up for The Nuge.

rickmaci May 16, 2012 at 5:26 pm

"morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics"

I assume he means Rethuglican K Street lobbyists.

bagofmice May 16, 2012 at 10:11 pm

The food is so crappy on k street. They must be making a fortune off of lobbyists charging lunch on their credit card.

barto May 16, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Oooo, the man can talk dirty!

Karma_Suture May 16, 2012 at 5:55 pm

What's all this I hear about Orally repugnant Popsicle stores?

Emiley that's "morally repugnant political whores."

Oh…. nevermind

owhatever May 16, 2012 at 6:21 pm

We got all the morals, we got all the morals. Nyah nyah na nyah nyah.

smitallica May 16, 2012 at 6:27 pm

A note to anyone in politics out there:

If Ted Nugent or Chuck Norris strongly agree with you, you're wrong.

Troglodeity May 16, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Of course, he's not using the word "whores" to refer to a specific gender. No "Republican War on Women" to be seen here, just move along …

Troglodeity May 16, 2012 at 6:41 pm

I guess we'll never know specifically who Huckabee's referring to as "morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter ethics," because, hey, that wouldn't be Christian and all.

Troglodeity May 16, 2012 at 6:45 pm

You're all wrong: Huckabee is actually complimenting the President. He didn't call Obama himself a morally repugnant political whore with misshapen values and gutter-level ethics. It's just that poor Obama has surrounded himself with creatures like Robert Gates, Ray LaHood, and Jon Huntsman.

GeorgiaBurning May 16, 2012 at 7:12 pm

I see Huck never outgrew the "I know you are but what am I?" tactic of debate.

MissNancyPriss May 16, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Was it Huckabee's kids that were hacking up dogs and cats?

finallyhappy May 17, 2012 at 7:41 am

which senator did that while in med school? Adopted shelter cats and then killed them to practice anatomy. True story

DrunkIrishman May 16, 2012 at 9:13 pm

What a fat, miserable, ugly fuck. I know it's been a few years since you saw your dick, but you don't have to take it out on the rest of humanity.

Veritas78 May 16, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Huckabee works on behalf of Citizens United, and then complains when the president responds to the judgement in favor of Citizens United by adopting the very tactics that Citizens United sued to allow.

Okay, then.

Negropolis May 16, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Hey, Fuck-a-bee. Call me when your party decides to kick the money-changers out of the temple. Kay-thanx-bi.

didgen May 16, 2012 at 11:52 pm

I don't know, I think I kind of like the place better since it started going to pot. Now, where did I put that vaporizer?

ttommyunger May 17, 2012 at 8:31 am

"Repugnant and misshapen"? Project much Mikey? (I had to post this link on twitter & fb, too rich to pass up)

elburritodeluxe May 17, 2012 at 9:45 am

Mr. Huckabee is a pugnant political whore. Them's the good kind!

gurukalehuru May 17, 2012 at 11:09 am

Huckabee's kid, Mitt Romney, that donor of Mitt's that killed and BBQed a dog – it's starting to seem like animal abuse is almost as common in the Republican party as closeted homosexuality. Well, maybe not THAT common.

notanncoulter May 17, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I'll take "Words you would use to describe Tom Delay" for $200, please?

Tricky_Dick May 21, 2012 at 1:45 pm

This asshole is getting fat again.

prommie May 16, 2012 at 5:29 pm

I saw the Empire State Building! And Weehawken. Someone just kill me.

FakaktaSouth May 16, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Oh wow. People I know would be braggin on fb about being that close to the Lincoln Tunnel. Perspective is everything.

bagofmice May 16, 2012 at 10:08 pm

How do you get signal in the tunnel?

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