WAR ON WAR ON WAR ON WOMEN  5:58 pm May 16, 2012

Men’s Rights Group Happily Endorses Crappy House GOP Version of VAWA

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Feminist demon monsters on the prowl.

The GOP-sponsored House version of the Violence Against Women Act reauthorization has finally gotten the endorsement of the constituency it needed to bring out the richness of its full nut flavor: paranoid men’s rights activists. The National Coalition for Men, whose website features the delightful Microsoft Office-based editorial artwork pictured above, wrote a letter in support of the House GOP’s efforts to restrain Supremist Feminist demon monsters in their mad quest for world annihilation, by weakening protections for victims of domestic violence. The Democrat-backed Senate version, you see, is much too busy “empowering false accusers at the expense of true victims,” men.

The White House has promised to veto the House version because:

H.R. 4970 allows abusers to be notified when a victim files a VAWA self-petition for relief, and it eliminates the path to citizenship for U visa holders – victims of serious crimes such as torture, rape, and domestic violence – who are cooperating with law enforcement in the investigation or prosecution of these crimes. These proposals senselessly remove existing legal protections, undermine VAWA’s core purpose of protecting victims of sexual assault and domestic violence, frustrate important law enforcement objectives, and jeopardize victims by placing them directly in harm’s way.

Suckers! Do they even know what women are up to? NCFM has gotten hold of some of their top secret plans and bravely posted them to their website, as a public warning, save yourselves now:

The women’s movement, relatively speaking, has it all and they continuously clamor for more regardless of the cost; that is, as long as the cost is primarily paid for by transferring $$$’s from men to women. Did you know that the two primary ways women achieve wealth are inheritance and divorce? All branches of government pay a significant number of women advocates hefty salaries to do not much more than go to meetings to figure out how to get more money for women. They call it work.

This is all you need to know about this group. We were going to try to pick apart the letter they wrote in support of the House version of VAWA, but almost every sentence of it is full of flaming idiocy and all you really need to know is that the Senate’s version of the VAWA reauthorization improves on the protections for male victims of domestic and sexual violence. But, you know, women are so “fishy,” ha ha. [TPM]

 
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{ 268 comments }

Barb May 16, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Take that! MEN! I'll bring the fucking beer, but it won't be opened when it gets there.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 6:51 pm

You don't think gawd gave us teefs for nuffink, do ya?

nounverb911 May 16, 2012 at 6:00 pm

So the GOP men are in favor of violence against women?

Mittens Howell, III May 16, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Mostly.

Just kidding!

Completely.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Hasn't there been at least one reported case per week of some GOP yob beating the bejesus out of his wife, over the past X years? I'm gonna start keeping records.

Warwhatgoodfor May 16, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Start with 1000 as a reasonable baseline. In republicanese, if one of them says it, it's true. None of this scientific proof crap.

bagofmice May 16, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Well, if history teaches us anything, it is that they are in favor of inheritance and divorce. See Rush, Newt, and other four letter words.

Negropolis May 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

You ask it as if you were surprised.

SorosBot May 16, 2012 at 10:33 pm

No, it means the women forced the GOP men to commit violence against them, because they didn't have dinner ready on time.

YasserArraFeck May 16, 2012 at 11:02 pm

"OK, now Ah'm gonna hafta beat your ass – an' it'll be your fault!!!!"

Godlesspanther May 17, 2012 at 11:25 am

No they are not. God is. They are just doing what God wants them to do.

See, this way they never have to be held accountable for their actions. Cute?

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Uh oh, sounds like someone is having a case of the Mandays.

starfanglednut May 17, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Either that or they're manstruating

weejee May 16, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Isn't that James O'Keefe pushing the perambulator?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 6:52 pm

He was *hoping* to be pushing a basket.

Chichikovovich May 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Trick question! James O'Keefe is in the perambulator.

nounverb911 May 16, 2012 at 6:04 pm

This is good news for Lorena Bobbitt?

weejee May 16, 2012 at 6:05 pm

She always tries to stay a cut above.

nounverb911 May 16, 2012 at 6:06 pm

She's good for Bris-ness.

mormos May 16, 2012 at 6:05 pm

women aren't people my friend

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Unlike corporations!

YasserArraFeck May 16, 2012 at 11:04 pm

I can't believe SCOTUS didn't carve out an exception in "Citizens United" for women-owned corporations.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 11:39 pm

Oversight. They'll get to it in some completely unrelated ruling, see if they don't.

starfanglednut May 17, 2012 at 12:22 pm

And embryos!

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 17, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Suddenly, I'm hungry for some eggs and sausages with a stinging hot salsa and some tortillas …

V572 Is this him? May 16, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Well not in Mitt's church, anyway. Same as Catholics. It's a great tradition.

Warwhatgoodfor May 16, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Kzinti didn't think so either. Gave them more time for fighting and slaughter and the like.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 11:39 pm

It's been a while since I read those books.

C_R_Eature May 17, 2012 at 6:04 am

If I remember correctly, the Kzinti used biological engineering developed by the Jotoki, a species they captured & enslaved, to make all their females sub-sentient.

But, let's not give these bastards any ideas.

Joshua Norton May 16, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Did you know that the two primary ways women achieve wealth are inheritance and divorce?

Or as the wingnuts and christianiods call it, "Sanctity of Marriage".

nounverb911 May 16, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Or in Michele Bachmannn's case, government subsidies.

dadanarchist May 16, 2012 at 6:23 pm

We must cut subsidies to non-productive Baby Farmers.

Callyson May 16, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Yeah, so women should not be entitled to inherit anything from their parents now? Only sons should get their parents' assets?

WTF?

anniegetyerfun May 16, 2012 at 6:56 pm

How about women only get half? Just like in sharia law?

Dudleydidwrong May 16, 2012 at 10:16 pm

It's called the law of primogeniture, and it means that all the wimmenz can only stand outside the elaborate wrought iron gates and watch as Jeeves drives the menz to and fro. I'm betting that it will be a plank in the Republican platform.

Not_So_Much May 16, 2012 at 7:04 pm

All this time I thought the main way was whoring?

Swampgas_Man May 16, 2012 at 9:52 pm

That's just Repub legislators.

miss_grundy May 16, 2012 at 10:14 pm

No women also make money by grifting–see Palin & Bachmann, etc.

freakishlywrong May 16, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Per these insufferable assholes, Ann Romney is going to make out like a bitch!

smokefilledroommate May 16, 2012 at 6:07 pm

National Coalition for Men? Fucking really?

ph7 May 16, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Sounds gay!

CommieLibunatic May 16, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Yeah, because if the history of United States presidents is anything to go by, it's hard to be white and male.

YasserArraFeck May 16, 2012 at 11:07 pm

At my age, just being male and hard is hard enough, let alone being white as well

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Not to put too fine a point upon it, Yasser, but I can see how being white might be work for one of your, uh, complection.

SecretMuslin May 16, 2012 at 6:44 pm

I think these are the same guys that spend lots of time on Pick Up Artist forums and treat the written words of Mystery as their personal bible…

Butch_Wagstaff May 16, 2012 at 8:04 pm

I did research for a piece on the MRM (Men's Rights Movement) & MRA (Men's Rights Activists) and can assure you that they are exactly that type.

Callyson May 16, 2012 at 6:08 pm

And in a related story:

That Poll Saying Romney Leads Obama Among Women? Total Crap
http://jezebel.com/5910606/that-poll-saying-romne

Thanks, MRAs, for reinforcing the numbers…

Fukui-sanRadioBarb May 16, 2012 at 6:08 pm

At least these cheeto-dusted cretins won't have to worry about the women in their lives, for somewhat obvious reasons.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Or men! I honestly don't foresee too many men wanting to play Rump-a-stilt-skin with those cheetoed chubboes either.

poorgradstudent May 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

And for some reason I suspect they don't have to worry about having a lot of money and property taken away by gold diggers either.

Generation[redacted] May 16, 2012 at 6:09 pm

All branches of government pay a significant number of women advocates hefty salaries to do not much more than go to meetings to figure out how to get more money for women. They call it work.

I didn't know we had so many women working as investment bankers on Wall Street.

V572 Is this him? May 16, 2012 at 7:04 pm

There was one at JP Morgan, but when things went awry last week, they fired her. See? They can't handle it.

CthuNHu May 16, 2012 at 11:46 pm

All branches of government pay a significant number of assholes hefty salaries to do not much more than go to meetings to figure out how to get more money for assholes. They call it empowering job creators.

Fixed.

freakishlywrong May 16, 2012 at 6:09 pm

This isn't good timing for the "the war on women is a democrat hoax" crowd.

CommieLibunatic May 16, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Pfff, like that matters. "A lie told often enough" and all that.

Mittens Howell, III May 16, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Nice comment.

You Democrat Hoaxer!!

Mittens Howell, III May 16, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Job creators good. Baby creators bad. Oink!

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Or, "Dick good. 'Gina bad." That's really how their brains work. I mean, I have my days of not liking most women very much, but the endless hatin' on women coming from this bunch has long passed the point of being even somewhat tolerable.

Chow Yun Flat May 16, 2012 at 6:11 pm

I think it outrageous that as a male I am only paid about 22% more than a woman doing the same job.

FakaktaSouth May 16, 2012 at 6:44 pm

And this is why we have to divorce or bury you – we are terrible.

Chow Yun Flat May 16, 2012 at 11:30 pm

If I have a choice, I will go with divorce for now and leave the burying for later.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 11:42 pm

It's definitely easier recovering from a divorce.

Negropolis May 16, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Well, it's always been a given that conservative men aren't content enough with having most of the pie; they aren't truly happy until they've taken all of the pie, the greedy bastards.

SecretMuslin May 16, 2012 at 6:11 pm

How do i score one of these "hefty salaries" generously doled out by "all branches of government"? I can't find any postings on Craiglist or Monster. What's the correct search term?

Generation[redacted] May 16, 2012 at 6:18 pm

"rent boy"

Callyson May 16, 2012 at 6:44 pm

https://contribute.nrcc.org/

Pay to play, pal!

Warwhatgoodfor May 16, 2012 at 8:34 pm

"Will blow for work".

Chichikovovich May 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

"Herman Cain's Women"

elfgoldsackring May 16, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Sneaky wimmins, always gittin' fellas all riled up so they gotta hit ya. Stop pickin' on your menfolk!

Callyson May 16, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Want something that is an actual problem and that is worthy of your outrage, NCM?

All investment banks pay a significant number of greedy bastards hefty salaries to do not much more than go to meetings to figure out how to get more money for Wall Street. They call it work.

/fixed

CommieLibunatic May 16, 2012 at 6:16 pm

I distrusted banks, insurance companies, and pretty much anything that makes money without actually doing or making anything since high school. And that was during a time when I couldn't think about much more than crushes and Xenogears.

bagofmice May 16, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Hey, Xenogears ruled!

CommieLibunatic May 16, 2012 at 8:11 pm

I know it did! For better or worse, I met my wife through mutual fandom!

I've been thinking about playing it again now that I've got a PS3 and the infinite virtual memory cards that come with it, but that second disc… I kind of shudder thinking about it.

bagofmice May 16, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Kind of like Mass Effect 3. You can see where it got rushed in the production and testing of art assets. But it's still cool.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 16, 2012 at 6:50 pm

When men do it, it's called a "career". (See: Romney, Mitt.)

Mittens Howell, III May 16, 2012 at 6:13 pm

"Did you know that the two primary ways women achieve wealth are inheritance and divorce? "

Even more income than from their third waitressing job? They're already loaded and they want me to tip them as well? That's some fucked up shit, ladies.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Just give 'em the tip, Mitt. They'll appreciate it.

sbj1964 May 16, 2012 at 6:13 pm

After my divorce what new rights do men have against women,and the courts? I am a Victim!

Callyson May 16, 2012 at 6:14 pm

The women’s movement, relatively speaking, has it all and they continuously clamor for more regardless of the cost; that is, as long as the cost is primarily paid for by transferring $$$’s from men to women.

So…the enforcement of laws against violent crime (it must kill NCM that domestic violence is in fact a *crime*) amounts to taking money away from men and handing it to women?

The Nebraska lady had schizophrenia as an excuse: WTF does this group have?

miss_grundy May 16, 2012 at 10:24 pm

They suffer from a severe form of misogyny due to the fact that the plaintiff had a better attorney than the defendant.

edgydrifter May 16, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Speaking as someone who enjoys nookie with the ladies, I've discovered that my success rate is remarkably higher when I spend more time doing things that make them happy, and less time being an insufferable prick who publicly advocates their total subjugation and repression. FYI, fellas.

dadanarchist May 16, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Pussy.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 7:02 pm

That's what he said. He's gettin' some.

MissTaken May 16, 2012 at 6:34 pm

I actually prefer the insufferable pricks to be fully honest and upfront with their repression. Makes them easy to spot and never date.

HistoriCat May 16, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Oh sure, that approach works for YOU. These men are obviously going after a different segment of the female population.

Good thing there's someone out there for everyone. Except for poor Lindsey Graham.

Fare la Volpe May 16, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Lindsey: "On my oooown / Pretending he's besiiiiide me~"

Biel_ze_Bubba May 16, 2012 at 6:59 pm

That would be the segment that gets their wealth primarily from inheritance and divorce, right?

Whatever planet these dudes live on, it's core is solid irony.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 7:05 pm

No, they're not. They're going after something they think should exist and trying to force anyone they encounter into that mould. I once shared an office with an attorney (a woman) who represented women in divorce cases. You would be gobsmacked at the kind of harrassment this woman had to endure for the unforgiveable sin of being a lawyer for ladies looking to get divorced. Men stalking her for years, threats, attempts on her life — only deity knows what they did to their poor wives. I wonder if there's some significant overlap between serious domestic offenders and psychopaths.

Geminisunmars May 16, 2012 at 7:13 pm

A decade or two ago a Denver lawyer was shot and is now disabled for representing some man's wife. I'll get back to you when I can think of something snarky to add to the preceding sentence.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Good grief!

Warwhatgoodfor May 16, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Some guys (particular the ones old enough to still enjoy seeing good looking women, but can't remember why) actually prefer smart as hell women, because intelligent interaction is better than trying to reminisce about times long gone by. Woman I know who has the best combination of brains, personality, wit and fine looks is 57 y/old. 23 y/old are just boring.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 11:45 pm

I've never understood the ephebophilia myself. I don't have a whole lot I can converse with someone half my age about. Sure, they might look good naked, but there's a limit to how much time I want to spend naked, no matter HOW good they look. Besides, good-looking people are very easily replaced. Someone with a certain wit, an intelligence, a special charm? Not so easy.

Blueb4sunrise May 16, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Hmmm. [once again a comment prompts a moments reflection]

Generation[redacted] May 16, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Please, let's hear from the wives of the NCM founders. *crickets*

Biel_ze_Bubba May 16, 2012 at 7:00 pm

How many Phyllis Schlaflys are there in the world?

V572 Is this him? May 16, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Only one, and her son is gay. Presented with his mother as his first image of Woman, he said, "I'll take the other thing, thank you."

CthuNHu May 16, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Hey, don't be so impatient. The membership's three spouses who haven't yet gotten divorced or died under mysterious circumstances have permission slips they need to get signed, you know.

CZL May 17, 2012 at 1:49 am

They're all MRAs, meaning sad sack divorced drunks who spend all their time online jerking about their "masculinity" and how the gynocracy is keeping them down.

owhatever May 16, 2012 at 6:16 pm

We would like to help the vagina people, really we would, especially at closing time because otherwise we have to go home and beat the old woman and her brats. And she'll go crying back to the emergency room, and the damned doctors and her bitch mother will call the cops again and I'll have to pay for still another lawyer and buy her flowers and tell her how much I love her and things will be better as soon as she gets well, if she would just give me another chance. Or else.

Fare la Volpe May 16, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Ah yes. The real victims of domestic violence are the innocent assholes accused of domestic violence.

That chick who tumbled into my shelter yesterday — arm broken, face bloodied, hair torn, and nether regions raped — faking it, clearly.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 16, 2012 at 7:02 pm

You left out the key question: how was she dressed?

Geminisunmars May 16, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Just attention-seeking.

Negropolis May 16, 2012 at 9:53 pm

What a racket. Getting the shit beat outta you, and you get paid for it! Wimmenz got it so easy.

I threw up a little in my mouth just typing that.

cheetojeebus May 16, 2012 at 6:17 pm

So, not only have they taken the step to organize?! now they've entered the national stage? so the leaders of this movement? "Here's my card, i'm chairman of the NCM, I'm a fuckin idiot…"
Do they sit around in the basement ranting with chili smeared all over the front of their grimy cum scented teeshirt? or is this more of a sitting behind a desk at some Christian University talking about the paternal nature of christianity?

spends2much May 16, 2012 at 6:17 pm

I, for one, am rooting for these poor underdogs, the Penis-Americans. Here's hoping that one day, a Fortune 100 company, a Wall Street bank, or even the good ole U S of A can be run by a fella.

anniegetyerfun May 16, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Dream on! It won't happen during OUR lifetimes!

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Wouldn't that be *nice*?

mavenmaven May 16, 2012 at 6:17 pm

STELLA!!!!

Callyson May 16, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Also, Supremist Feminists sounds like a great name for a post-punk neo-grrl rock band.

CommieLibunatic May 16, 2012 at 6:19 pm

It's shit like this that makes me ashamed to be a man, albeit an effeminate and sensitive(?) one.

Fare la Volpe May 16, 2012 at 6:20 pm

I don't think being against domestic violence makes you "sensitive" – it makes you a human.

HistoriCat May 16, 2012 at 6:50 pm

How many other animals engage in domestic violence?

Biel_ze_Bubba May 16, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Well, there's the praying mantis. Oh, wait…

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Sadly, most great apes. Most ungulates, herd-dwellers as they are, appear to have a social system based on the number of females a single alpha male can control, although elephant societies seem to rely on the matriarchs for the transmission of information. I think bonobos are the only primates who use sex to settle quarrels, rather than violence.

MissNancyPriss May 16, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Oh no, for reals? This is what I hate about the internets. I love apes.

CommieLibunatic May 16, 2012 at 8:16 pm

I'd go with sensitive, noble pig if nothing else.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 7:10 pm

(Hugs the Libunatic) Sensitive men is the way evolution's trending, baby. And it's "feminine," not "effeminate." There's nothing wrong with people exploring all their sides. Our President's a sensitive and feminine man, and it makes him a damn sight better human being. I've had it with the pongy pongids posing as people who think being a man means slapping everyone else down with your dick.

sullivanst May 16, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Judging from the evidence on this site, it also makes him considerably more attractive to women.

And men.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Oh, hell to the YEAH! Nothing like making sexxxaytime with a sensitive yet hot individual.

Er, what? Sorry. Briefly distracted.

Hedley_Lamarr May 16, 2012 at 6:21 pm

They left out getting more gubmint moneys for having more kids, so I discount all claims made by this organization.

OneYieldRegular May 16, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Can we please get a photo of the members (member?) of this group? I have a feeling it might give that lovely photo of the Florida white supremacists a run for its "$$$'s."

Dudleydidwrong May 16, 2012 at 10:24 pm

And probably 100% membership in the "We skipped out on paying child support" club.

Blueb4sunrise May 16, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Between the All-powerful and rich Wimmenz, the All-powerful and rich Gaiis, and the All-powerful and rich Blahs…..it's a wonder straight white males have two pieces of bullshit to rub together.

Fare la Volpe May 16, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Anyone want to tell them that "supremist" is not a word, or should I?

MissTaken May 16, 2012 at 6:28 pm

So I can't order a Burritoist Supremist at Taco Bell??

Fare la Volpe May 16, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Quesist!

Generation[redacted] May 16, 2012 at 6:55 pm

That's ricest!

Negropolis May 16, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Not without permission from a male guardian, first.

FakaktaSouth May 16, 2012 at 6:28 pm

I am glad you said it before I did, otherwise it would just be more nut-cutting, feminist, power-mad cunt-ness trying to hold these good men down. I have all this power see, from all my divorces and widow-ing that I just can't stop myself.

Fare la Volpe May 16, 2012 at 6:33 pm

That's the only reason you dames get hysterectomies — so you can fill your wombs full of nickels and beat your men with 'em.

sullivanst May 16, 2012 at 7:34 pm

This almost makes me wonder where you'd have to go to find the Rule 34 of that

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 7:53 pm

You just KNOW it's out there somewhere.

bagofmice May 16, 2012 at 8:11 pm

You know, AngryBlackLady has a #TeamUterati site featuring a uterus with boxing gloves over the ovaries. Just Sayin.

anniegetyerfun May 16, 2012 at 6:29 pm

You go ahead. I'm right behind you, though.

Callyson May 16, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Hey, that business where boys were supposed to sit still in class and learn grammar is just another example of how males are oppressed into meeting a matriarchal social norm.

I wish I were being sarcastic, but that is a nearly verbatim quote from one MRA troll…

Warwhatgoodfor May 16, 2012 at 8:52 pm

So what would you call an old who loved the Supremes? Cut me some slack here.

Chichikovovich May 16, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Barry Gordy?

Troglodeity May 16, 2012 at 6:26 pm

The National Coalition for Men, or as they're commonly known, NAMBLA.

Dashboard Buddha May 16, 2012 at 6:50 pm

National Association of Masculine Bitchy Loser Assholes?

Callyson May 16, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Numbingly Assholish Men Blaming Lesbians Always?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Hey! I like this game! North American Men Bleating Lame Aphorisms?

bagofmice May 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

National Association Making B-holes Likeatively Angry?

MissTaken May 16, 2012 at 6:26 pm

We women should stop bitching so much and be more grateful for men. They let us suck their dicks, get us knocked up and fat, raise their children, cook their dinner, and clean their dirty socks they leave on the floor because the laundry hamper is a whole 2 feet away.

We women should show our gratitude to the menfolk by letting them smack us upside the head every once in a while. Thanks men!

Steverino247 May 16, 2012 at 6:58 pm

The dick sucking is the only thing I'm interested in from your list. I need no more children, can perform the other tasks all by myself and have no interest in beating intimate partners. I can even rub my own balls but it's lots more fun if somebody else does it.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Sometimes I worry that all the women I know are waiting for the secret signal, whereupon they will rise up as one and tie us up, beat us down, and toss us away.

In fact, it's nothing short of a miracle that they haven't already.

sullivanst May 16, 2012 at 7:50 pm

To be honest, knowing some of our gender are members of the NCM, I'd seriously consider handing the ladyfolk the rope.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 7:55 pm

I wish I COULD disagree with that. Sadly, no.

Warwhatgoodfor May 16, 2012 at 8:57 pm

I make a mean hangman's knot. Can go into mass production at a minutes notice.

LagunaB May 16, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Need a hand?

CthuNHu May 16, 2012 at 11:50 pm

What is this "hamper of Laundery" of which you speak?

Fairtackle May 16, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Jesus, these fuckers are afraid of everything. Scared of a bunch of girls now? Fucking pussies.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Let's go over there after work, kick some asses and give them something real to cry about.

Fairtackle May 16, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Yaaa! we can wear dresses too sort of like how the samurai used to wear armor that looked like mythical beasts to strike fear into the hearts of their enemies.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 16, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Send in Uma Thurman with her samurai sword … the looks on their faces would be priceless. (After she left, I wonder if they'd want to clean their own underwear?)

C_R_Eature May 16, 2012 at 8:54 pm

If I have to go over there, I'm wearing a Kilt, brandishing a very bad mood and will make these embarrassing excuses for adults cry for a week.

Because I am tired of The Stupid.

sullivanst May 16, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Fucking pussies.

Is something none of these limpdicks are likely to do again.

Godlesspanther May 17, 2012 at 11:34 am

Just what are we to think of a bunch of grown men who feel the need to launch a vicious smear campaign against the Girl Scouts?

anniegetyerfun May 16, 2012 at 6:29 pm

"The women’s movement, relatively speaking, has it all and they continuously clamor for more regardless of the cost"

This sentence should never have happened, for a variety of reasons, the most important of which is punctuation. Sentiment also matters, and then there's veracity.

The women's movement has it all, eh?

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Do you know what the women's movement really needs, guns, lots of guns. That's the only thing that these stupid bastards are going to understand.

Callyson May 16, 2012 at 6:49 pm

"The women’s movement, relatively speaking…"

"Relatively speaking"? Relative to whom? WTF is that even supposed to mean?

miss_grundy May 16, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Relative to their stupidity and not finding any female willing to date them in this century.

Angry_Marmot May 16, 2012 at 6:32 pm

You know it's hard out here for a wimp
When he tryin' to get this money for the rent

Troglodeity May 16, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Ah yes, the National Coalition for Men – with their stirring "penises rampant" coat of arms.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb May 16, 2012 at 7:11 pm

And paired balls azure on field argent.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 7:56 pm

You're terrible. There's mungy tea all over the screen, now.

Swampgas_Man May 16, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Not so much "rampant" as "Limpent", ifyaknowwhatImean.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 11:53 pm

And I bleev we all do.

spinozasgod May 16, 2012 at 6:33 pm

is this NCM a splinter group from NO'MAM?

HistoriCat May 16, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Bundy libel!

johnnyzhivago May 16, 2012 at 6:34 pm

How do the Girl Scouts figure into this totalitarian plan?

dadanarchist May 16, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Doncha know there's a "Castration" merit badge?

anniegetyerfun May 16, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Shorter version of National Coalition for Men letter: My mail-order bride left me and I is so sad, so sad.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Yeah, mostly they just murder those wimmin. Some neighbour of mine recently murdered HIS mail-order Russian bride. Her mother is now raising her kids. Fortunately, they finally got enough on the SoB to put him in jail.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Yeah, like fucking Hans Reiser did to his wife Nina.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb May 16, 2012 at 7:52 pm

ResierFS vs ext3

Journalling? YES YES

POSIX EAC? YES YES

Kills wife? YES NO

sullivanst May 16, 2012 at 7:55 pm

I'm only surprised there isn't an xkcd of that.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 7:59 pm

That poor woman. I don't understand. Why kill your wife, if you don't get along? Why go that far? Why hit, beat, torment, rape, torture, assault, or kill someone you had an intimate relationship with?

MissNancyPriss May 16, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Cuz people are bad.

CthuNHu May 16, 2012 at 11:58 pm

Hey, guys, here's a tip:

That murder-suicide you're planning? Go for it! But don't go mainstream like all those murder-suiciders in the papers that somehow never get the public sympathy that they really deserve. You need to capture the public imagination with your awesome murder-suicide — by doing it backwards.

Dudleydidwrong May 16, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Remember: these are guys who couldn't get laid in a women's prison. No wonder they had to form a union.

MissTaken May 16, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Did you know that the two primary ways women achieve wealth are inheritance and divorce?

Sounds like *someone* has both a sister he has to share mommy and daddy's inheritance with and an ex wife who left him for younger, hotter guy who could actually get it up.

Monsieur_Grumpe May 16, 2012 at 6:37 pm

What a relief! I was feeling so oppressed.

merlallen May 16, 2012 at 6:38 pm

I'm disapointed by you guys, I expected to click on that link and read a bunch of snarky sarcastic comments. At least they have the 2 I Ieft before they're deleted.

Crank_Tango May 16, 2012 at 6:41 pm

What kind of man is so against women? I'll take my answer off the air, thanks.

dadanarchist May 16, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Playdoh n' Bacon Americans must stop oppressing Penis-Americans with their silly demands like getting equal pay, not getting raped, and not being beaten to death for flapping their moufs.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Oh gawd. What the fuck kind of straight or bisexual man describes women's genitalia as a combination of Playdoh and bacon?

I need to get away from these people before I rip out what's left of my hair.

Generation[redacted] May 16, 2012 at 8:41 pm

I find playdoh and bacon difficult to masturbate to (or with)

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Just bacon is fine, I could probably masturbate to and with bacon all day. But Playdoh? Smells like little kids. Most unsexy.

dadanarchist May 16, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Sorry – Ace o' Spades' post is one of the greatest in the annals of Wingnuttia.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 11:55 pm

I remember when I first read it thinking, "This man has never stuck his face in a sweet warm juicy pussy." Playdoh and bacon!

Blueb4sunrise May 16, 2012 at 6:44 pm

NCFM was good back in the day….. sigh…..it used to be about the music.

Seriously, this org. has been around since 1977?!?! WTF? If you're losing as badly as you say, maybe it's time to pack it in. You must be a bunch of fuckups.

I visited the site…..it's either pitiful , or an elaborate and sick hoax.

Generation[redacted] May 16, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Was Andy Kaufman alive in 1977? Just asking.

Blueb4sunrise May 16, 2012 at 7:05 pm

AHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fare la Volpe May 16, 2012 at 6:44 pm

This piece taken from the MRA website is astounding:

The ballot for candidates to the Steering Committee of the District of Columbia Bar Association Family law Section exemplifies how we are outgunned and out-organized.

It’s a nine-member volunteer committee that sponsors training, suggests legislation and gets to put the Bar Association name on its recommendations. The six incumbents include two men and four women. The six candidates for the three seats to be filled in the current election cycle are all women – – – THERE ARE ZERO MALE CANDIDATES

Holy shit, you guys! In one tiny, insignificant steering committee for the family law offices located solely in Washington DC, there are NO MEN CANDIDATES. This is exactly equivalent to the fact that only 17% of the US Congress is women and in most states there has never been a single female US Senator or female Governor ever.

Men are the real victims here.

Blueb4sunrise May 16, 2012 at 6:57 pm

errrr, uhhhh, guys…..I'm a guy too, so really just trying to help out here……

volunteer committee

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 11:56 pm

Polysyllabi. They don't get 'em.

didgen May 17, 2012 at 1:01 am

Seemingly unable to figure out how to redress this inequality. How can we get a man onto this VOLUNTEER committee.

not that Radio May 17, 2012 at 8:43 am

I DON'T KNOW MAYBE A SHOUTY NEWLETTER WOULD HELP

Fairtackle May 16, 2012 at 6:47 pm

As a charter member of the coalition of Men Against Men Who Like Women Who LIke Men, I find the National Coalition for Men highly offensive. I think. No, wait yes, offensive.

Generation[redacted] May 16, 2012 at 6:51 pm

We're the Popular Men's Front.

Splitter!

Doktor StrangeZoom May 16, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Oh, hey, John Scalzi had a pretty good post yestiddy: Straight White Male: The Lowest Difficulty Setting There Is

Seems relevant somehow.

Oh, and here's a surprise: Scalzi deleted a record number of off-topic, brainless, misogynist comments from the thread.

sullivanst May 16, 2012 at 6:58 pm

I'm glad you didn't quote more of their letter, because I already puked twice and now there's no solids left in my stomach and dry-heaving is so damn painful plus bile tastes totally gross.

emmelemm May 16, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Dry heaving really is the worst, isn't it?

ifthethunderdontgetya May 16, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Beware, sheeple…KBJ is part of the Double X Chromosome Mafia!
~

Steverino247 May 16, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Other than the name of the act, which has served to confuse law enforcement officers when male victims make reports and seek protection from abusive partners, there should be no objection to it. These clowns objecting are really a joke. That or they're a bogus organization set up by the R's so as to fool people into thinking there's any real objection to renewing and improving (LGBT issues and male victims) the act.

drrty_martini May 16, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Do you think they hang out at the Operation Rescue Virtual Pub? I think they'd get along really well!

Generation[redacted] May 16, 2012 at 7:35 pm

they should go bowling

Geminisunmars May 16, 2012 at 7:23 pm

So where's this inheritance and divorce money I'm supposed to get?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 8:05 pm

How many ancestors/partners have you bumped off/outlived?

Geminisunmars May 16, 2012 at 10:58 pm

I knew there was a catch.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 17, 2012 at 12:06 am

It's not easy inheriting/ripping off an ex-spouse out there. Nobody ever tells you how to get rid of the evidence, either. (Hugs the Gem) How you doin', sweet lady?

DerrickWildcat May 16, 2012 at 7:26 pm

So I'm just a be-boppin' down the street this morning when some girl walks towards me and twirls her hair and smiles at me!
It's ok though. I ran across the street before she could sink her claws into me and ruin my life!

Blueb4sunrise May 16, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Do not give them your essence!!!!
Remember : Pure grain alcohol and rainwater.

DerrickWildcat May 16, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Thank you.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 8:06 pm

She knows about the birds, Derrick!

DerrickWildcat May 16, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Yo, check it out G. A Glossy Ibis is up!
This is a big fuckin' deal!
Look at it's range map.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Oh, thanks! I should just go there every single day. But sometimes I like to save up the bird treats for a couple days. BRB.

bagofmice May 16, 2012 at 9:50 pm

But do you think of the bees?

Warwhatgoodfor May 16, 2012 at 9:13 pm

This street is exactly where?

Sharkey May 16, 2012 at 9:49 pm

K Street. I saw him, lonely pathetic bastard…

ifthethunderdontgetya May 16, 2012 at 9:50 pm

That Pileated is very nice.

They're all over the place in W.V. (family get-away house), but it's hard to get their pic…they fly away as soon as they see you with a camera.

(I did get some fuzzy pics once or twice, and even 15 seconds of video.)
~

Fukui-sanRadioBarb May 16, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Damn, that is a good one. I've been trying to get a shot of those for a long time.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Derrick's Pileated pix are SO good, they almost look fake.

DerrickWildcat May 17, 2012 at 1:08 am

Thanks. I was pretty lucky on that one. They only live along the Missouri River in Nebraska. It's the first one I've ever seen.

StealthMuslin May 16, 2012 at 7:36 pm

The only thing GOP guys think women are entitled to is "two for flinching."
That's in there, right?

DerrickWildcat May 16, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Hey you guys, the last Ghost Hunters with that weaselly guy is on tonight. They are going to run into some really bad Lady Monsters! Even worse than the real and normal living Lady Monsters!
It will be really a scary!

BigSkullF*ckingDog May 16, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Stand your ground! Unless you have a vagina.

BigSkullF*ckingDog May 16, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Inheritance and divorce? Bitch please. Try whoring and selling my aborted fetuses to the sausage factory.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Hmm. The sausages HAVE been somewhat crunchy, of late.

C_R_Eature May 16, 2012 at 8:10 pm
not that Radio May 16, 2012 at 8:21 pm

"VAWA"? I thought it was "hoo-ha".

C_R_Eature May 16, 2012 at 9:12 pm

"VAWA" is how Orly Taitz pronounces the name of her next employer.

not that Radio May 16, 2012 at 9:55 pm

we are looking for de nuclear wessels

C_R_Eature May 16, 2012 at 10:10 pm

We'd tell you, but it's Unprounouncable

not that Radio May 17, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Why have I never hear of this "Fast Show" before? Not fair, I tell you! (thanks)

Geminisunmars May 16, 2012 at 10:32 pm

That's what Helen Keller said.

C_R_Eature May 16, 2012 at 10:36 pm

I always thought that her parents' punishing her by making her read the waffle iron was cruel – but those were different times.

Sharkey May 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Has anyone mentioned HHS and Sebelius yet?

"…pay a significant number of women advocates hefty salaries
to do not much more than go to meetings to figure out how to
get more money for women" … POLITICIANS!

These NCFM guys might be on to something. I worked at HHS as a contractor and that was my experience.

Terry May 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

"Did you know that the two primary ways women achieve wealth are inheritance and divorce?"

Well, I wish they'd have told me this before I'd gone through the trouble of getting a job.

Sharkey May 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

We did, but you NEVER LISTEN!

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 11:37 pm

Wait, no, that what teh Laydeez usually say to teh menfolks.

Negropolis May 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

…that is, as long as the cost is primarily paid for by transferring $$$’s from men to women.

That's what it comes back to. It's always some roundabout way to label something as socialist.

Ducksworthy May 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Obama supports ghey's, GOP supports wife beaters: conclusion?

Negropolis May 16, 2012 at 9:47 pm

The National Coalition for Men No Blacks, Wimmenz, & Joos.

/Fixed

poorgradstudent May 16, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Queers, also, too.

NYNYNYjr May 16, 2012 at 10:01 pm

The National Coalition for Men, formerly known as the Hair Club for Men…

Chichikovovich May 16, 2012 at 10:07 pm

I read the article, and then I read the comments. I sympathize with their plight: These are clearly the sort of intelligent, affable, well educated, capable people who would be passing from success to success in life were it not for the conspiracy of hateful succubi scheming to thwart them at every turn.

Equality_Joe May 16, 2012 at 10:13 pm

You mock, but it is true that primary and secondary education remain rather female-dominated fields, and it's quite clear that the education system, going back all the way to grade school, failed these men.

QED

Geminisunmars May 16, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Oh, that reminds me: The Succubi Club meeting has been moved from the weight room to the sauna following the Motivational Speech in the Speculum Rotunda on Thursday.

C_R_Eature May 16, 2012 at 10:51 pm

You know, there's an awful lot of unrest in this country caused by middle aged white guys that couldn't get blow jobs in high school.

valthemus May 17, 2012 at 12:50 am

We'll release all the nation's tensions with a massive Fellatio-thon! Perhaps Hugh Hefner will spring for the knee pads.

C_R_Eature May 17, 2012 at 5:55 am

Special Edition playboy bunny logo kneepads! Expensive, but little enough to bear to save Civilization.

ttommyunger May 17, 2012 at 8:28 am

So, just how tiny does your dick have to be to qualify for membership in this group?

elburritodeluxe May 17, 2012 at 9:33 am

You would think they would find some more recent pictures of women. There seem to be a few on the internet.

not that Radio May 17, 2012 at 10:38 am

Link, please?

elgin_pelican May 17, 2012 at 4:58 pm

I'm gonna sneak up behind them and yell 'HILLARY!!" Their testicles will ascend deep into the scrotal area.

bagofmice May 18, 2012 at 4:24 pm
Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 8:51 pm

For realz. Apes make me uncomfortable. I feel as if I'm looking at cousins who took a wrong turn on the evolutionary pathway. But bonobos are very sweet. It's that love/sex/affection thing they do.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Dumb. They let their reptilian brain overpower the newer, higher centers by convincing themselves that every situation they encounter requires kill-or-be-killed. Then they go fuck up everybody else's lives but most especially their own. Christ, what feckin' eejits.

Swampgas_Man May 16, 2012 at 9:59 pm

From what I've read of the bonobos, they use sex for pretty much everything.

doloras May 16, 2012 at 10:07 pm

As opposed to chimps, who are, quite simply, a whole species of assholes.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 11:47 pm

Yup. Actually responses on the spectrum of affection (grooming) through sex, but they're pretty sexy little critters, and there's nothing like a little loving to make 'em happy. We should try to be more like them. (Hugs Wonkette)

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Birds, bees, all small life.

YasserArraFeck May 16, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Chimpanzees are Republicans – 'nuf said.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 11:49 pm

Chimps are pretty fearsome and unpleasant creatures. And we share between 95 and 98% of their DNA. Ecch.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 11:50 pm

That's a nice thought, Yasser. I'll try to hold on to it for a while.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 17, 2012 at 12:01 am

I like this scheme. Now to make a video PSA out of it.

C_R_Eature May 25, 2012 at 7:05 am

Mid 90's BBC – of course and just awesome. I think it was called "Brilliant" in its US run and it may be available on Amazon, Netflix, etc.

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