THE VETTING  3:00 pm May 16, 2012

World Net Daily Declares Obama’s Love Letters Fraudulent, For No Real Reason

by Jim Newell

Would you trust this man with your children?Those Obama love letter excerpts that Vanity Fair ran a couple of weeks ago were the best thing that happened to low-end wingnut grifter consortium World Net Daily since forever — it gave them a new opportunity to call some new Obama thing totally fake, because… well, look at them, they’re clearly bullshit. Letters. Pfft. Why won’t the mainstream media spuriously declare them fake? Because they don’t have the brains of a Doctor Jack Cashill, the supreme linguistico-syntactical Indiana Jones of wordsleuthery and anti-truth discovery who’s most famous for pointing out that Bill Ayers wrote Dreams from My Father. Cashill argues that Obama couldn’t have written those letters, because (a) UMLAUTS? (b) he doesn’t like Obama (c) they don’t sound at all like the writing in Dreams from My Father, which, again, Obama didn’t write, but still.

Here’s the meat of Cashill’s argument: We all know that Obama is too stupid to include an umlaut in his writing, because look at him, he’s an idiot. Also, this supposed “college Obama” name-dropped someone whom Jack Cashill had never heard of until now, as if that were possible. Cashill was an Honors English student, ahem:

Recall that Obama, in the words of friendly biographer David Remnick, was an “unspectacular” student. A Northwestern University prof who wrote a letter of reference for Obama reinforces the point, telling Remnick, “I don’t think [Obama] did too well in college.”

And yet writing longhand, presumably from memory, Obama has the wherewithal to put an umlaut over the “u” in Münzer. In college, I was an Honors English student and a Classics minor, not a political science major like Obama. I had not even heard of Münzer before reading this letter.

Obama’s writing in these letters is nothing like his writing in the Bill Ayers book Dreams from My Father, either. As if someone might use a completely different writing style in pretentious college-age academic musings than one would in a memoir (which, again, he didn’t write)? And these letters are written about nice, white people — not the CRAZY BLACKS who were the subject of every course he ever took:

Nowhere in “Dreams” is there any mention of T.S. Eliot, Münzer or Yeats, or any of the themes in this letter that so excited Adam Hirsch. As Obama tells it, he and his pals “discussed neocolonialism, Franz Fanon, Eurocentrism, and patriarchy.” This I can believe.

Totally missing from “Dreams,” too, are the more exotic words in the letter to McNear: ecstatic, mechanistic, asexual, stoical, moribund, reactionary, fertility, dichotomy, irreconcilable, ambivalence, plus “hazard” and “counter” used as verbs, as in “I will hazard these statements” and “Counter him with Yeats and Pound.”

Ugh, bring back Breitbart.

[WND]

 

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{ 195 comments }

nounverb911 May 16, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Jealous much?

Barb May 16, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Meh, no one bought the book "Dreams From My Father" anyway.

nounverb911 May 16, 2012 at 3:05 pm

"Ugh, bring back Breitbart."
No thanks, let Breitbart get his daily schtupping from Satan.

Mumbletypeg May 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Gotta hand it to Cash-shill. It takes a lot of classlessness to make Breitbart look smart.

BornInATrailer May 16, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Doüche.

harobedyelsnit May 16, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Don't you mean – douché?

WhatTheHeck May 16, 2012 at 3:38 pm

no. he meant it in the harsh German clip, not the delicacy of the French language.

BornInATrailer May 16, 2012 at 3:40 pm

With spittle. Lots of spittle.

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Hocking up "r's" from the back of your throat is hardly "delicate."

harobedyelsnit May 17, 2012 at 9:45 am

I was, unsuccessfully it seems, trying to be funny, but you make a good point.

BornInATrailer May 17, 2012 at 11:07 am

I got your angle. I appreciated it.

Unfortunately, the best joke doesn't always get the loudest applause. I was very proud of my "you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs" alteration below. Yet it got a paltry amount of pee points. Calling this guy a douche and just adding an umlaut is liking shooting WND writers in a barrel of poison rat dicks.

Sadly, Wonketteers just aren't as clever as they'd like to think and you have to play down to them.

Haha, just kidding. Balls! Butt sechs! Retard!

bumfug May 16, 2012 at 3:06 pm

"He's a fake – my ignorance proves it!" – Jack Cashill

actor212 May 16, 2012 at 3:20 pm

He sort of reminds me of the P-E-N-I-S woman, except she had the excuse of schizophrenia

HobbesEvilTwin May 16, 2012 at 3:28 pm

"He's a fake nigger – Jack Cashill

Dr_Zoidberg May 16, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Everyone knows those colored folks can't write no good nohow!

Seriously, what will they find about President Obama to pick on next?

SayItWithWookies May 16, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Finding stuff sounds like work — they're just gonna keep making shit up instead.

philpjfry May 16, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Will the man never get any credit for anything? Are we sure his daughters are his? Fucking morons

UW8316154 May 16, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Don't give them any ideas.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Anybody who can look at his older daughter and say that she is not her father's child will surely be fried by lightning where they stand. She looks as much like him as he looks like his grandfather Stanley Dunham.

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Yep!

Chichikovovich May 16, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Yeah! Right! Because if he actually had had daughters, they would look like Trayvon Martin, which those so-called daughters don't. He admitted it himself!!

fartknocker May 16, 2012 at 3:08 pm

The President taught Constitutional Law at one of those high-browed, snooty Uni-vers-ities in Chicago. Our former president owned a baseball team and had problems conjugating a sentence.

Me thinks Dr. Cashill is a stupid douche who has an honorary Doctorate degree from Devry University.

RedneckMuslin May 16, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Liberty U.

Generation[redacted] May 16, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Bush's love letters were obviously not faked:

Deer Laura:

I like u. Do u lik me?
___Yes
___No
___Mabee

Joshua Norton May 16, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Start at a conclusion and then try to work backwards to justify it.

Typical Wing Nut Daily brand of "reporting".

mormos May 16, 2012 at 3:51 pm

apriori is best priori

OkieDokieDog May 16, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Hope this guy's heart isn't all full of slobby fat like Brietbart's was, cause if he croaks in the next 20 years it will be Obama's doing.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 3:38 pm

I was hoping for something a little more … precipitous, actually, seeing as I haven't that much longer around these parts myself.

RedneckMuslin May 16, 2012 at 3:45 pm

But how does he feel about Riley?

SayItWithWookies May 16, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Motherfucker probably refuses to believe Hawaii exists, too.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Well, it might *exist* all it wants, that don't make it Murcan. You know that. Sarah Palin's REAL America?

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 3:10 pm

And yet writing longhand, presumably from memory, Obama has the wherewithal to put an umlaut over the “u” in Münzer.

Yet WND readers, writing in crayon, or, as Joseph Farah prefers, their own feces, have the wherewithal to put an umlaut over the u in Führer. Dude, I've got news for you, knowing where to use an umlaut is not the hard part of speaking German.

Dudleydidwrong May 16, 2012 at 4:03 pm

By now he should know that he's just a cünt.

MaxUdargo May 16, 2012 at 4:33 pm

That he thinks Obama was writing the letter from memory shows he doesn't get it at all. Obama was a guy in college trying to get in the pants of a chick who liked to talk about Yeats and guys with umlauts in their names. Obama probably had a stack of books three feet high on his desk when he wrote that letter, and at least one of them was a thesaurus.

V572 Is this him? May 16, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Give him a break. English majors don't get too many chances to display their unique expertise in real life. For instance, I'll bet no one else here can define "objective correlative" without looking it up. That just kills at parties. And chicks start getting moist the minute you talk about Anthony Trollope's Palliser novels.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 16, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I like the Barsetshire novels, haven't read the Palliser series. Rereading Barchester Towers at the moment–love that wacky Signora Neroni!

V572 Is this him? May 16, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Got into the Pallisers after watching a BBC dramatization. The Barsetshire books didn’t work for me, I must confess. Wouldn’t have thought anything could make me appreciate foxhunting, but Trollope’s descriptions are persuasive.

sullivanst May 16, 2012 at 4:01 pm

The Beeb's adaptation of the first two Barsetshire novels was well executed, with Obadiah Slope very well played by a young Alan Rickman.

faster_kittycat May 16, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Thanks for this. I couldn't remember the name of the adaptation that featured "the odious Mr. Slope". Alan Rickman was fabulous in that role.

GuyClinch May 16, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Yes, these incredibly exotic words! Even this "Honors English" major is confounded by them! Words like "ecstatic," "asexual," [?!??!] "reactionary" [uh-huh, sure], "fertility", "irreconcilable", and "ambivalence." What is all this? Kenyan swahili or something? (Note to Cashill: be prepared to learn "irreconcilable [differences]" when your wife files for "divorce")

DemmeFatale May 16, 2012 at 3:13 pm

They're only exotic to bagger assholes.

OneYieldRegular May 16, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I can totally see why Cashill had a problem with the word "fertility."

Doktor StrangeZoom May 16, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Wait just a goddamn minute here….you mean to say that when writing a letter about literature to a girl he wanted to impress, and when writing a book about politics for a campaign audience, someone used totally different WORDS?????

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 5:04 pm

The real scandal is that he used words at all. I just send photocopies of my schlong.

DemmeFatale May 16, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Classic author's pose to hide a double chin or wattle.

widestanceromance May 16, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Or a tattoo that says, "please pay before pumping."

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm

There's also the Ross Douthat pubic chin.

sullivanst May 16, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Little did he realize it just shows off his smug pretentiousness all the more.

ChilLysol May 16, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Obviously, Cashill has never seen real love.

weejee May 16, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Doctor Jack Cashill is seriously showing he don't know jack. Let's start with the stupideo comb-over. Well let's not, but how can we not when it's so ridiculous? But since all comb-overs are, doesn't that speak to the intellectual honesty of the combee?

/ proudly pats his bald pate and picks up cream pie to address Cashill's far too smug smirky smile

DaRooster May 16, 2012 at 3:12 pm

"Bring back Brietbart."

Uh, how about this douche nozzle go visit him…
It really is ridiculous how these fucking people have nothing better to do than to dream up stupid shit like this and actually "comment" about it.

SoBeach May 16, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Maybe Obama had a teleprompter when he wrote those letters…

Weenus299 May 16, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Duh! Becauz TELEPROMTER, morans!!!!1!!1!!!

BaldarTFlagass May 16, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Hell, I didn't go to no fancy east coast school, just the good ole University of Texas, and even with that kind of minimalist education, I know where to put the umlaut in Motley Crüe and Blue Öyster Cult.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 16, 2012 at 3:19 pm

But it takes a real arteest to correctly use it over the "n"

sullivanst May 16, 2012 at 3:39 pm

When you do that, your quiz scores go up to 11.

SwanSwanH May 16, 2012 at 7:47 pm

And Motörhead.

DemmeFatale May 16, 2012 at 8:12 pm

My niece is named "Lemmy" after you-know-who. Such a lovely man!
(I told you my brother was/is crazy.)

rocktonsam May 16, 2012 at 9:49 pm

"University of Texas'" lol

BaldarTFlagass May 17, 2012 at 7:56 am

Hey, at least it's not A&M!

DerrickWildcat May 16, 2012 at 3:13 pm

This can only mean, with 100% certainty, that Ayers either writed those letters or didn't writed those letters!

SorosBot May 16, 2012 at 3:15 pm

IT'S ALL A CONSPIRACY EVERYTHING ABOUT OBAMA IS REALLY FAKE!!1!

Reginald_Perrin May 16, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Actually it was Cyrano de Bergerac who wrote those letters, I thought everyone knew that.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Well that makes it even worse because Cyrano de Bergerac is French.

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 4:08 pm

No, it was Sir Nose D’Voidoffunk!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P-Funk_mythology

jodyleek May 16, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Are Cashill's eyes always that squinty or is he having a hard time tolerating his own stink?

chicken_thief May 16, 2012 at 3:23 pm

You know what else can make a man's eyes temporarily squinty?

jodyleek May 16, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Mace?

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Lysol? Racism?

Chichikovovich May 16, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Straining to detect evidence that isn't actually there?

George Spelvin May 16, 2012 at 7:19 pm

A brief nationality change?

BaldarTFlagass May 16, 2012 at 3:15 pm

"I know those letters aren't written by a black man because the greeting is not " 'Sup, Beyotch." or "Yo, ho." "

chicken_thief May 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Word.

MosesInvests May 16, 2012 at 3:35 pm

"…the greeting is not…'Yo, ho.'"
So he's not a pirate, either?

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm

"Where are de white women?"

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Well hey Jack Cashill, in college I was a political science major, an M60 tank crewman and a short order cook not an honors English student like you (fag, and how hard is it to be an honor student in English anyways?) and classics minor (Wow Jack, you minored in classics. How incredibly superfagtacular. Do you spend a lot of time with Victor David Hanson discussing the Greeks and fapping over the beach volleyball scene in Top Gun and Gerard Butler's abs in 300) and I'd never heard of Münzer either. On the other hand I knew a completely lame argument when I saw one.

BaldarTFlagass May 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm

I think he meant that he minored in Classics Illustrated.

actor212 May 16, 2012 at 3:18 pm

How does a guy make the Harvard Law Review with so-so grades?

chicken_thief May 16, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Editor, no less.

Clearly because he was blah.

Oblios_Cap May 16, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Affirmative Action. Clearly, that is why it must end.

doloras May 16, 2012 at 8:56 pm

And because there was an entire communist-Nazi-Kenyan-Muslim conspiracy working behind the scenes to get "The Chosen One" into power. Apparently.

BerkeleyBear May 16, 2012 at 5:35 pm

How does he graduate with honors. This conspiracy goes right to the top!

Abernathy May 16, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Dr. Spaceman, is that you?

SayItWithWookies May 16, 2012 at 3:19 pm

"Totally missing from “Dreams,” too, are the more exotic words in the letter to McNear: ecstatic, mechanistic, asexual, stoical, moribund, reactionary, fertility, dichotomy, irreconcilable, ambivalence…"

Also not in "Dreams from My Father" — love muscle, pubis mons, aureolae, silky thighs, velvet buzz-saw, carpet of raspberries and rose petals, foreplay marathon, delirious frenzied tangle of sweaty limbs, melted butter or earth-shattering orgasm. So clearly fraudulent.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 16, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Oh, those are in the book, too, just not written by Obama. All you need to do is to check the marginal notes in copies belonging to women who post here. And a few of the guys, too.

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 3:57 pm

MissTaken's fanfic manuscript is titled, "Dreams Of My Baby-Daddy."

Terry May 16, 2012 at 3:19 pm

" In college, I was an Honors English student and a Classics minor, not a political science major like Obama. I had not even heard of Münzer before reading this letter."

Yeah, well, I wouldn't exactly go around bragging about that.

MadBrahms May 16, 2012 at 11:49 pm

He also had to look up the word "baleful" (see Dreams kerfluffle)

Look, I'm not insisting that everyone know GRE words or German classicists. But if your argument is "Obama says things I don't understand, so therefore he is a fake", you may want to re-evaluate your premises.

chicken_thief May 16, 2012 at 3:20 pm

I can't speak for Obummerz, but I know use the same writing style for my professional publications as I do in my hoping to get some pussy letters.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Is that how you do it? What about dick jokes and Hitler references? I always see these articles about the five things you should never put in your resume and they never mention dick jokes or Hitler references, but I don't know where to put them. Should I sprinkle them throughout the document or have a single section completely devoted to them?

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 3:41 pm

You're saying your Intensedebate account is your resume?!

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Yes, and it's also my online dating profile.

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Goes without saying!

MadBrahms May 16, 2012 at 11:54 pm

I usually put them in the "Other accomplishments" portion of my CV, or just add "ur mom" in the "Grants received" section.

BornInATrailer May 16, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Sorry but no, David. You can't fake an umlaut while out spreading a few legs.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 16, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Münzer was OK, but I thought The Addams Family was more reliably funny.

Steverino247 May 16, 2012 at 3:28 pm

The movie or the TV show?

I can't watch the TV show because of the fucking laugh track. Ugh, I always hated those.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 16, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Oh, god, that was terrible, all right. Then again, I was 9 when both were in syndication, and since both were from the same time, I'd be willing to bet that the Munsters had a laugh track too. (Hell, CBS even forced MASH to use one, against Larry Gelbart's preference). Despite some rare exceptions, laugh-track-free sitcoms are a relatively recent thing.

Generation[redacted] May 16, 2012 at 3:57 pm

I respect the Monkees even more now.

Callyson May 16, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Ignoramüs…

Nostrildamus May 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm

I have a few words for Dr. Cashill: mechanistic, asexual, moribund, reactionary.

Douche-nozzle, also.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 3:30 pm

I'll hazard that he's ecstatically a douche-nozzle, no ambivalence there at all.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Totally missing from “Dreams,” too, are the more exotic words in the letter to McNear: ecstatic, mechanistic, asexual, stoical, moribund, reactionary, fertility, dichotomy, irreconcilable, ambivalence, plus “hazard” and “counter” used as verbs, as in “I will hazard these statements” and “Counter him with Yeats and Pound.”

I'll hazard that the reason that Jack Cashill and the WND readership find words such as "ecstatic", "mechanistic", "asexual", "stoical", et al so exotic is because they have more than two syllables.

pdiddycornchips May 16, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Wingnuts have a twenty word vocabulary.

God
Freedom
Reagan
Love
evil-doer
terrorist
abortion
ghey
sinned
tiffany's
whore
'mercan
lame
stream
media
church
taxes
cut

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Shit, Cashill found us out! I mean, even I had to go get a white boy from U. of C. to add extry vocaballary to my comments. I just slap him on the back and go, "Whassup, Favreau? Smarten up this bitch."

DemmeFatale May 16, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Your secret's safe with us!

FakaktaSouth May 16, 2012 at 3:24 pm

You know what this makes me want to do? It makes me want to get this Cashill guy, attach one of those eyelid holder things to his face and MAKE him watch PresO do President things all over WashingtonDC and the world. It is clear that the main problem is that this black dude is pretending to also be Pres; I would like to force him to see him do it. He really does exist dude, it's OVER, he has been the real life Pres for almost 3 and half years now. Suck it.

Oblios_Cap May 16, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Totally missing from “Dreams,” too, are the more exotic words in the letter to McNear: ecstatic, mechanistic, asexual, stoical, moribund, reactionary, fertility, dichotomy, irreconcilable, ambivalence, plus “hazard” and “counter” used as verbs, as in “I will hazard these statements” and “Counter him with Yeats and Pound.”

I personally expected to see a few 'albeits", but that's the way the cookie crumbles. I hazard to counter with the reason that Obama was just better than Ezra.

He's totally correct. One's writing style never, as they say, "evolves" over time. For example, L. Ron Hubbard's writing sucked from the beginning of his career until he died.

Monkeys, Shakespeare, etc.

Blueb4sunrise May 16, 2012 at 3:25 pm

As Conan Doyle showed, if you do enough cocaine you can prove anything.

Callyson May 16, 2012 at 3:25 pm

What say ye, Wiki, about this Jack Cashill character?

NY. Cashill received his Ph.D. in American Studies from Purdue University in 1982…He has taught media and literature at Purdue and at other universities in the Kansas City area. He served as a Fulbright professor in Nancy, France.

That's it, our educational system is irreparably damaged. And now we know why the French hate us, also, too.

Oblios_Cap May 16, 2012 at 3:27 pm

He's a Nancy boy?

DemmeFatale May 16, 2012 at 3:38 pm

He's a cheese-eating, surrender-monkey?

pdiddycornchips May 16, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Wait, there's a an actual place called Nancy, France? Vacation location '12, solved!!!

__kth__ May 16, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Ph.D., and now he's writing for the latter-day equivalent of a local John Birch Society newsletter. His parents must be so proud of him.

Chichikovovich May 16, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Translation:

Cashill received his Ph.D. in American Studies from Purdue University in 1982… Cashill was admitted to a foggily defined interdisciplinary program in the humanities at a university that is known for science and engineering. He has taught media and literature at Purdue He headed some discussion sections of classes during his graduate studies, as all graduate students do. and at other universities in the Kansas City area. Post-PhD, he got a couple of adjunct jobs at schools so insignificant that it would be embarrassing to mention them. He served as a Fulbright professor in Nancy, France. He hooked on to a cultural exchange program for a year, where he taught English and showed American movies in the third largest city in the Alsace-Lorraine region.

Basic rule of thumb: Anyone who gets a PhD and uses it as an excuse to call themselves "Doctor" is a pompous pseud.

BerkeleyBear May 16, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Yeah, American Studies at Purdue in the 70s and 80s – why do I see him trying to run a "White Pride" support group and none of the corn fed engineers giving a crap?

I'm still trying to figure out how PU would have even had a faculty capable of conferring a PhD in something that soft 30 years ago. Even today, majoring in any sort of non-hard science field is a mark of shame at West Lafayette. Maybe he went to IUPUI or IUPU Ft Wayne or one of the other dual appointment campuses.

IncenseDebate May 16, 2012 at 3:27 pm

If Romney wins all these freaks and dumbasses will feel vindicated.

ElPinche May 16, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Dick Cavett can suck a dick.

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 3:45 pm

That's what Gore Vidal said.

(Nice one, "Favreau!" Here's a extry five-spot, buy yourself some ramen noodles.)

CapnFatback May 16, 2012 at 3:29 pm

In college, I was an Honors English student and a Classics minor

Or what my rhet/comp brethren call "unemployable."

mavenmaven May 16, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Because of course we get that Kenyans can't possibly understand European literature, Jews shouldn't teach Shakespeare, but then why can this white fellow comment on Obama's writing?

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Because "white people" always wins when you play "paper, rock, white people."

chicken_thief May 16, 2012 at 3:29 pm

This is a no fucking brainer – Ayers wrote Dreams of My Father and Alinsky wrote the I want in your panties letters. Jeesh!!!

CrunchyKnee May 16, 2012 at 3:30 pm

English major, eh? Found some downtime while working at Starbucks to write that piece didn't ya Cashill? Just grab a fucking mop.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 16, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Hey, language mavens, you know what's far more outrageous? The fact that anyone, even headline writers, is actually using the malodororous coinage "Grexit" to refer to the possible Greek exit from the Euro.

Blueb4sunrise May 16, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Grexit-Gate!!!!

Mumbletypeg May 16, 2012 at 3:30 pm

I, for one, compose my writings using the exact same language / tone/ vocabulary for all contexts and purposes. Indeed and also, I *speak* exactly as I write, as such. And, moresoever, even having knocked back one or three, my consistency in style across all communicative channels never wavers.

OneYieldRegular May 16, 2012 at 3:30 pm

In college, I was an Honors English student and a Classics minor, not a political science major like Obama. I had not even heard of Münzer before reading this letter.

It really does Cashill no favors to advertise his incuriosity and intellectual inadequacy in this manner. Also, English major guy needs clean up his own web site; it's riddled with typographical errors.

keinsignal May 16, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Ah, yes, "The Argument from Personal Incredulity", always a sure winner with this crowd.

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 3:37 pm

There's no way you could have come up with that!!

Exhausted66 May 16, 2012 at 3:31 pm

That's not really the top of Cahill's head.
COMB OVER!

MissTaken May 16, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Not only did Bill Ayers write Obama's book for him but he also wrote the letters to get him laid? Usually the most a wingman does is talk up the hot girl's ugly friend. Ayers really stepped up to the plate on that one.

keinsignal May 16, 2012 at 3:53 pm

You're missing the big picture – this is all part of the radical left wing's breeding program for revolutionaries. And just wait 'til ObamaCare kicks in and the stem-cell cloning labs get going…

Arken May 16, 2012 at 3:32 pm

I wonder if Cashill says the same thing when he goes to doctors. "I've never heard of this 'hepatitis B' so it can't possibly be real."

CapnFatback May 16, 2012 at 3:32 pm

If I'm trying to get into the underthings of a hot, smart (is there a differece?) co-ed, you better believe I'm throwing in a few fucking umlauts.

Blueb4sunrise May 16, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I got just the umlaut for your vowel, baaaaaaaaaaaaaby.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Damn! Is that all it takes? Who knew? And to think, if I had used more umlauts in college I could have been getting more püßy! Get it, püßy?

CapnFatback May 16, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Did you just call me a püßy?

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Düde, relax. I wasn't calling you a püßy. I was talking about püßy, you know, like getting a piece of äß.

CapnFatback May 16, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Just a piece of äß is okay, but I'm bringing the Lysol if you try to take the äß(w)hole.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 16, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Well, it is nice to have solid proof that Bill Ayers did not write Obama's love letters. I'm glad that question's been put to rest.

An_Outhouse May 16, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Bill Ayers wrote the love letters?

BaldarTFlagass May 16, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Yo Cashill, I'm really happy for you, and I'ma let you finish, but Donald Trump has one of the best combovers of all time.

CapnFatback May 16, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Apparently to do need a Weatherman to know which way to get blow jobs.

Generation[redacted] May 16, 2012 at 4:16 pm

To know which way Wendy blows, yes.

Jus_Wonderin May 16, 2012 at 3:36 pm

With no snark, I can say my writing style has evolved since college. I know I am not the best, but my present day writing has a clarity that my college day writing never had.

Would that account for the "difference"?

BaldarTFlagass May 16, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I know my writing style has changed, especially with these last three years or so of sharpening my rapier-like wit on the Wonkette whetstone.

Jus_Wonderin May 16, 2012 at 3:47 pm

True. I must admit, sometimes my wit gets rapeier, but usually I have had too much to drink.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 4:06 pm

You sharpen your rapier-like wit at Wonkette? I usually do that sort of thing over at Spankwire. Oh wait, that's not a euphemism? Never mind then, and I've never heard of Spankwire.

Jim Newell May 16, 2012 at 5:00 pm

everyone's a better writing after college, once you forget everything you learned in college

BerkeleyBear May 16, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Well, you certainly don't do the sort of literary reference laden "isn't this sexy" letter once you have a real job (like say, convincing people in low income housing to engage in political action) and learn that not everyone has the same love of obscure philosophers as Columbia co-eds.

chicken_thief May 16, 2012 at 3:36 pm

This is a little off topic, but has it ever occurred to any of these conspiracy theorists what it would mean if they were right?

That is, if a man were smart/conniving/whatever enough to fake all these alleged fakes YEARS AGO on the off chance that he may someday run for POTUS, then he is one smart, conniving, whatever motherfucker,

Exactly the kind of guy I want to run the country.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Yeah, but he's blah!

UW8316154 May 16, 2012 at 3:37 pm

The irreconcilable dichotomy of ambivalence and ecstasy countered my reactionary impulses brought forth by the moribund man’s mechanistic, asexual and spastic gesticulations.

Jus_Wonderin May 16, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Oh yeah? But can you rhyme "orange"!!!

Blueb4sunrise May 16, 2012 at 3:46 pm
BaldarTFlagass May 16, 2012 at 3:38 pm

No doubt these letters were composed by the same person that faked his birth certificate.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 3:53 pm

That makes a lot of sense. I always had a certain irreconciliable ambivalence about the mechanistic and asexual nature of President Obama's supposed long-form birth certificate.

MosesInvests May 16, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Cahill=ignoranus (ignorant a**hole).

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Dude, you forgot the umlauts.

pdiddycornchips May 16, 2012 at 3:42 pm

That is some fine wingnut hackery right there.

Klek May 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Cashill clinches it for me! I used to think that you had to be a failed SNL alumni or egomaniac professor to get on the wing-nut gravy train but the field is obviously open to anyone with an IQ minimum of 50. Ugh, I guess that means MarineInsultedObamatogetKochCheck figured this out before I did.

Poindexter718 May 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Yeah, cause when i was in college writing to a girl in the interest of getting some sexytime, I took care to avoid poetry and kept the discussion focused within my major–accounting.

chicken_thief May 16, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Nothing gets a girl's panties off quicker than some sexy time talk about "double entry ledgers" and "GAAP principles".

Poindexter718 May 16, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Gotta accrue to be kind.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 4:15 pm

How'd that work out for you? I ask because I tried the same thing when I was trying to get sexytime and instead of using poetry kept the discussion focussed within my major, political science, and I got nowhere, despite what I felt were some damned good arguments as to why giving me a blowjob would be a Pareto-optimal outcome of a first date.

ArthurEther May 16, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Cashill knows that black men hate orange juice, Dockers and umlauts. It's just how they are.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Umlauts, the black man's Kryptonite!

Antispandex May 16, 2012 at 3:46 pm

…and the Hawiian post marks look fake. Also.

Billmatic May 16, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Shhhutttup about patriarchy guys really, the women might leave the kitchen and google it and then we're REALLY gonna have a problem.

gurukalehuru May 16, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Ecstatic is exotic??
Also, me too, also, I'd never heard of Munzer, but you don't hear me bragging about it.

__kth__ May 16, 2012 at 3:51 pm

I only had the wherewithal to attend a second-tier public university, but I'm pretty sure that word doesn't mean attention to detail or erudition or whatever Obama had supposedly never previously evinced.

smokefilledroommate May 16, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Cashill needs to go back to 'Hazard' County and get back behind the 'counter' of the 7-11.

DerrickWildcat May 16, 2012 at 3:55 pm

I didn't know my dad very well. Just well enough to know that I sure in the hell didn't want to know what his dreams were or anything else going on his head.

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2012 at 4:04 pm

"Dreams My Dad Took Out On Me"?

smitallica May 16, 2012 at 3:59 pm

This is what it sounds like when crazy wingnuts have NOTHING.

randcoolcatdaddy May 16, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Perhaps Obama isn't actually a person … just a hologram?

TootsStansbury May 16, 2012 at 4:04 pm

This one; screwy eyes – check. Rat (ferrets are too cute I'm changing to rat faced) face -check.

Generation[redacted] May 16, 2012 at 4:23 pm

He obviously copied those love letters off a teleprompter.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Just another wingnut that reminds me of a scene from Blazing Saddles.

didgen May 16, 2012 at 4:47 pm

He can of course back up all of his claims with supremely devastating proof supplied by the international authority Mr. East-west-deep deep south-north. So there!

AddHomonym May 16, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Hairpiece!

Guppy May 16, 2012 at 5:32 pm

And yet writing longhand, presumably from memory, Obama has the wherewithal to put an umlaut over the “u” in Münzer.

Why, it's almost like spelling conventions in other languages are pretty fucking straightforward. Not that an honors English student would be aware of that…

BerkeleyBear May 16, 2012 at 6:12 pm

I love the selective cropping. Obama admitted he was a so-so student at Occidental, which was one of the reasons he had to get out of there. By all accounts to date, he kicked the crap out of his time at Columbia and Harvard Law School.. Also, the name dropping of semi-obscure thinkers has been documented as something Obama does with knowing audiences (it scored him serious nerd points with guys like George Will before they reflexively decided they had to hate him to death), but unsurprisingly not how he rolls in a State of the Union address. I can just see him dropping a Schroedinger or Schopenhauer reference on Congress – Joe Wilson would spontaneously combust from white rage.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

I can just see him dropping a Schroedinger or Schopenhauer reference on Congress – Joe Wilson would spontaneously combust from white rage.

That's "Schrödinger" damnit! Mit einem umlaut!

Troglodeity May 16, 2012 at 6:20 pm

I don't understand Professor CasshÖle's logic. It must be too advanced for me. Remember, Obama didn't release these love letters; his former girlfriend did. Are you saying she made them up? If so, who taught her about Munzer versus Münzer? Was it you, Bill Ayers? The mystery deepens! Perhaps Örly Taitz can help figure it all out.

WE NEED THE ORIGINAL, LONG-FORM LOVE LETTERS!

Troglodeity May 16, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Where to begin: the carefully arranged combover, the plaid sportjacket, the smirky grin, and especially the thoughtful hand-under-chin pose …

That mugshot is the stereotype of a college professor who thinks he's really hot stuff, but whose coed students think he's gross and laugh at him behind his back.

owhatever May 16, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Thank you for clearing that up, but I'm still back watching the Oily Titz campaign commercial.

Wonkette, Refudiated May 16, 2012 at 8:17 pm

I don't know why any of you are making such a fuss over the fact that Ayers wrote Dreams of my Fathers. It is well known that Marx wrote the Gettysburg Address, and to counter it, Bakunin wrote Grant's inauguaral speech. Hell, the entire history of the First International was recorded in US presidential speeches; read between the lines, dumb ass. Since Proudhon wrote the Bill of Rights anyway, what does any of this matter to you?

ttommyunger May 17, 2012 at 8:44 am

Alt Cap: "My brain is so huge and heavy it must be propped up with my fist, heh, heh…"

NorbertsRevenge May 17, 2012 at 10:42 am

Dr. Cashew be nuts.

sullivanst May 16, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Oozing from every pore like slime from a hagfish.

sullivanst May 16, 2012 at 6:49 pm

The Barchester Chronicles was the title they went with.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Well make sure that you bring Lysol and not Pine-Sol because otherwise I'll have to call my spiritual healer.

faster_kittycat May 17, 2012 at 9:11 am

Oh, this is awesome. Yay!

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