DEAD MAN WALKING  1:19 pm May 16, 2012

Stop The Presses: There May Be Factual Inaccuracy In Latest James O’Keefe Masterpiece

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

no not that michael boltonOh dear, it seems James O’Keefe’s latest masterpiece on vote fraud, in which he totally caught University of North Carolina not finking on “Democrat-friendly election fraud” when faced with GOP kids bragging about how they double-voted GOP, may have just the teensiest inaccuracy in it: dude O’Keefe said was dead, and whose ballot his henchman was given anyway, is not in fact dead, because zombie voodoo. How do the fine folks at MediaMatters know this? Oh, it was in the unedited version of the video is all.

O’KEEFE: We found ballots being offered out in the name of the dead. One man, Michael Bolton, had died April 23, but apparently the Board of Elections didn’t get the memo, and his ballot was offered to us on May 8.

In the ensuing video clip, an O’Keefe operative at a polling place tells a poll worker, “The name is Michael G. Bolton.” There is then a jump cut, and in the next clip the poll worker is telling the operative to sign or make an mark in the pollbook to affirm his identity. The operative then says he would feel more comfortable if he could show his photo ID, and leaves.

Something very important happens during that jump cut. As the raw video reveals, the poll worker says, “You must be a junior? … Michael G. Bolton, Jr.?” to which O’Keefe’s operative responds: “That would be correct.”

OH RIGHT. Dead dude had a son, and that’s whose ballot O’Keefe’s goon almost fraudulently obtained. Oopsie?

NO. NOT OOPSIE. James O’Keefe is a consummate journalist who does not MAKE mistakes. Therefore, when he edited his little movie to take out the bit that 100 percent falsified his central premise and then reiterated his verifiably falsified central premise all over again, it was … oh fuck just send him all your money already, Koch Brothers. He is working VERY VERY HARD for it.

[MediaMatters]

 

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{ 160 comments }

tihond May 16, 2012 at 1:20 pm

This is my surprised face.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 1:59 pm

That's funny, it looks just like … oh. I get it.

actor212 May 16, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Here's mine:

:-|

a_pink_poodle May 16, 2012 at 3:59 pm

This is mine

/:^|

DrunkIrishman May 16, 2012 at 1:21 pm

This Irish sonofabitch should be hanged by his balls and pelted with potatoes. What a fucking moron. Congress will go defund ACORN, but they can't pass a law that allows me to shove a firecracker in his mouth? WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY?

Callyson May 16, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Per the previous story, if you go to Colorado, you can spray him with Lysol. Just don't use any obscene language when you do so, or you'll be charged…

DrunkIrishman May 16, 2012 at 1:28 pm

So, let's set up supposed voter fraud in Denver and wait for him to slime his ass to the Rockies.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I thought AZ was where all the obscenity laws just passed. Not CO TOO?

Jimmyone May 16, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Fuck NO, at least not yet. If that happens…..us coal miners will not be able to communicate using big words.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Listen, dood, it's tough enough for me to complete ONE lousy fucking sentence without saying "Fuck" or something very like it. If they ban obscenity, I'm'a have to shut up for life.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 1:33 pm

We need to figure out a way to get James O'Keefe to go to Florida and once there put on a hoodie and pick up a bottle of iced tea and a bag of Skittles™. I'm sure you can figure out the rest.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 2:01 pm

I intend to Stand my Ground, if I should run across young Mr. O'Keefe dressed in that suspicious manner.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I'd expect nothing less from a freedom loving patriot such as yourself who understands that to not stand her ground to a hoodie wearing, Skittles™ bearing James O'Keefe and pump him full of hot lead votes would be the moral equivalent of wrapping incredibly cute puppies in an American flag and then dropping them into a log-chipper, a log chipper made in France, by Muslims, while listening to the Dixie Chicks. It makes me proud to know an American like you.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 2:23 pm

His, but thanks, dood.

I especially like the log chipper made in France by Muslims. It's those little touches that make such a rant a contender for the Wonketz Rants O'Fame. Or is it Rants O'Infamy? Whatever.

Terry May 16, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Hit the Guinness a bit early today?

DrunkIrishman May 16, 2012 at 2:04 pm

You think you're so cle…

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 8:09 pm

It hits back eventually, yaknow.

actor212 May 16, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Can't ye get some of yer IRA boodies ta take his Eyeresh ass out, sune?

vodkamuppet May 16, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Don't blame it on the Irish, this country is filled with Murphey boys that were always trouble, even back in the old country.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Even the WASPs know the difference between the linen and the lace Irish.

vodkamuppet May 16, 2012 at 2:40 pm

WASPs? Even the catholics know that that Murphy kid is nothing but trouble. He probably has tattoos.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 6:48 pm

You ever read The Butcher Boy? The Murphys. The pig-men.

Gratuitous World May 16, 2012 at 1:23 pm

This headline will soon be edited to read: "Factual O'Keefe Masterpiece"

SorosBot May 16, 2012 at 1:23 pm

There's deceptive editing in an O'Keefe tape? What are you going to try and claim next, that the sky is blue?

actor212 May 16, 2012 at 2:06 pm

RED SKY AT DAWN LIBEL!!!!!

Barb May 16, 2012 at 1:24 pm

The Ace bandage on his wrist is a nice touch. He probably hurt himself after giving a date roofies and then carrying her to the barn.

HogeyeGrex May 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I'd give better odds he sprained it while the wrist was his date, iykwimaityd.

actor212 May 16, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Grind Your Stand!

James Michael Curley May 16, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Probably CFS – Carpal Fapping Syndrome.

Callyson May 16, 2012 at 1:25 pm

You know, poll workers work *long* hours for very low pay as it is (my mom was a poll worker a couple of times–she told me she barely got a meal break and had to deal with lots of assholes.) They really don't need this jackass O'Keefe piling on and inventing cases of voter fraud when they are just trying to do their job…

Barb May 16, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Your mom is awesome! I've never met a poll worker who wasn't helpful, friendly and dedicated to their task.
I don't think that O'Keefe gets the fact that he is the one who is engaged in voter fraud here and not the poll workers. A man from New Mexico is in deep shit because he registered his dog to vote in an attempt to prove voter fraud. Duh, what he did was the fraud part.

BaldarTFlagass May 16, 2012 at 1:54 pm

And then the dog voted a straight Democratic ticket, proving that he was smarter than his owner.

emmelemm May 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I thought poll workers were volunteers… Here, at least, it's all old ladies, because they no longer work and can sit at a polling place all day. Except, I lie, because WA has now switched to ALL mail-in voting.

BerkeleyBear May 16, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Oregon is all mail-in, too, but the old ladies still get to hang out at the drop-boxes on Election Day.

Terry May 16, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Some states give poll workers a token amount of money. One of my cousins works the polls in Pennsylvania. Regular poll workers make around $30 for the day. The person responsible for submitting the results makes a little over $100 for the day.

anniegetyerfun May 16, 2012 at 2:19 pm

I don't think our WA poll workers WERE paid, back in the day. One of my neighbors did it, and she was retired and didn't get paid crap.

ETA: When I was a teenager, I volunteered at a polling station in my neighborhood, and the old ladies working there told everyone how to vote (Republican) as they handed out the ballots.

actor212 May 16, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I worked one election as a poll watcher…you know, the people candidates send into polling places to make sure there's no fraud going on and stuff… me and the guy the Republican sent in ended up standing around for thirteen hours (couldn't leave until the count was verified) watching what was going on and trying to help out where we could.

I gained a lot of respect for the little old ladies who man the actual booths.

Dildeaux May 16, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Kudos to Mom.
I worked the polls for the 2010 mid-terms for the first time. You must attend a training session prior to election day. Then on election day, you work 14 hours. You get paid something like $130, which for many poorer folks is a lot of $ for one days work.

Chill-A-Sketch May 16, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Give O'Queefey a break. He just forgot to add the standard "Not meant to be a factual statement" disclaimer…

el_donaldo May 16, 2012 at 1:26 pm

So let's see. Foreign voter not foreign? Check. Dead voter not dead? Check. Scandal not really any scandal? Check. O'Keefe still not relevant? Double check.

Butch_Wagstaff May 16, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Poor thing may have to finally get a real job.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Not that he's qualified for one. Oh, wait, there's always Wingnut Welfare, isn't there?

bureaucrap May 16, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Wait, I thought he was in jail, since, like, nine movies ago. In any case, it is unfortunate that the First Amendment still protects the freedom to lie, distort, mislead, and falsify.

Callyson May 16, 2012 at 1:26 pm

just send him all your money already, Koch Brothers. He is working VERY VERY HARD for it

That's what Donna Summer said…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09ZSKE38lTU

MrFizzy May 16, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Repubelickins have dead souls – does that count?

edgydrifter May 16, 2012 at 1:27 pm

James O'Keefe (D), right Fox?

BaldarTFlagass May 16, 2012 at 1:27 pm

If nothing else, O'Keefe can look forward to a "grown-up" career in, maybe, film editing. Maybe he can get a start on the upcoming production of Atlas Shrugged Part II.

starfanglednut May 16, 2012 at 1:32 pm

In all seriousness, who the fuck would hire this idiot? He's dishonest and manipulative, and to top it all off, he's not very good at being dishonest and manipulative because he's dumb as a loaf of bread.

HogeyeGrex May 16, 2012 at 1:50 pm

So, you're saying Breitbart.

Or any Modern Republican.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Yeah, but NotSoBrightBart is now deader than a doornail.

So it'll have to be some other Modern Republican, but no one seems to be springing forth, do they?

James Michael Curley May 16, 2012 at 1:58 pm

However, his criminal case is dragging on very long. The one from 'invading' Nancy Pelosi's office. As a federal crime – it is an automatic felony. Should keep those job offers within his skill set – pusillanimous, mendacious, offal custodian.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Pelosi's office? Don't you mean Landrieu's? If he's invaded Pelosi's office, it's news to me. Perhaps I should go poke the cold ashes and see what pops out.

James Michael Curley May 16, 2012 at 3:51 pm

I assume I’m wrong and it also explains why it is taking so long. SF and NOLA are two different universes in the world which touches on politically touchy cases.

Terry May 16, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Somebody who owes one of his parents a favor.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 2:25 pm

If he were good at being dishonest and manipulative he'd be working for Goldman Sachs or Chase.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I'd say PRON, but he's too ugly for face roles, and I just don't think he'll turn out to be a Ron Jeremy.

Sharkey May 16, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Voting is so much fun, I gladly do it as many times as possible without consideration of fraud. Cause it's fun! It feels good!

Jus_Wonderin May 16, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Be careful, you hand will get raw.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 2:26 pm

And grow hair on the palm.

CapnFatback May 16, 2012 at 1:28 pm
BaldarTFlagass May 16, 2012 at 1:28 pm

“The name is Michael G. Bolton.”

Too many Bond movies growing up.

SayItWithWookies May 16, 2012 at 1:30 pm

New James O'Keefe exposé: "How the Lamestream Media Just Sits There and Lets Me Lie About Shit!"

Schmannnity May 16, 2012 at 1:31 pm

The poll worker probably should have asked Michael Bolton to sing his overwrought "When a Man Loves a Woman."

Preacher_Griz May 16, 2012 at 1:31 pm

STOP mestizo illegal voting patterns!!!!!

Joshua Norton May 16, 2012 at 1:31 pm

He just falls apart when there's no dildos involved.

Dudleydidwrong May 16, 2012 at 1:33 pm

James O'Thief would make news only when he does something that isn't a fraudulent, lying, box of candied rat dicks. Send him to Somalia where he can do some good. They need targets.

CapnFatback May 16, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Projection Veritas.

Arken May 16, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Too much vino, not enough veritas.

LesBontemps May 16, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Douches gonna douche.

Mittens Howell, III May 16, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Extra!! Extra!! Dickwad Exposes Voter Fraud While Committing Voter Fraud!

freakishlywrong May 16, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Brietbart is here…

SayItWithWookies May 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Not dead enough.

starfanglednut May 16, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Keefie, show us on the doll's skull where the mean wonketeers hurt you.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 8:15 pm

^^ WILL ^^

You left out a word.

Baconzgood May 16, 2012 at 1:35 pm

This dude's movies have more jump cuts than the begining of Bagdad Cafe and Seconds combined with a Run Lola Run thrown in for good measure.

not that Radio May 16, 2012 at 1:36 pm

"No, officer. Honestly. I was just buying heroin to prove that it was possible to buy heroin. I didn't actually want to buy any heroin."

Baconzgood May 16, 2012 at 1:42 pm

I was just checking the gay bath house to show it's a haven for anal intercourse.

Mittens Howell, III May 16, 2012 at 1:49 pm

"don't lysol me, bro"

bagofmice May 16, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Like that time my christian youth group went to a bath house.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Tell us more, dear.

emmelemm May 16, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Yes!

imissopus May 16, 2012 at 1:58 pm

"That's true, but I was only in there to get directions on how to get away from there!"

Mittens Howell, III May 16, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Dumbfuck: “The name is Andrew Breitbart.”

Poll Worker: "You must be a junior? Andrew Breitbart Junior?"

Dumbfuck: "Yes, that would be correct."

RedneckMuslin May 16, 2012 at 1:39 pm

He looks like Kenny G. not Michael G.

iburl May 16, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Needs moar roofies, boats and dildos.

walterhwhite May 16, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Voter fraud = Democrats and minorities who try to vote

freakishlywrong May 16, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Shitstain or twatwaffle? Discuss.

Mittens Howell, III May 16, 2012 at 1:46 pm

shitwaffle.

freakishlywrong May 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Twatstain.

anniegetyerfun May 16, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Wafflestain. What? Oh, nevermind.

Equality_Joe May 16, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Scheiße Waffen

ElPinche May 16, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Sounds like IHOPs new entrees.

rickmaci May 16, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Douchenozzle for sure.

Mittens Howell, III May 16, 2012 at 4:44 pm

I'll have a stack of twatwaffles and a side of shitstain hash, please. Hold the santorum.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Uh … urp … (flees room at high speed)

JustPixelz May 16, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Repubicans hate hate hate elections and democracy. Unless they win. Also hate non-billionaire Americans.

proudgrampa May 16, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Who the fuck is James O'Keefe?

And why should we care?

ElPinche May 16, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Eh..You're better off spending time with grand kids than knowing about that diseased rhinoceros pizzle.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 8:17 pm

"the fuck" is actually a very fitting description of James O'Keefe.

That is all you need to know.

Baconzgood May 16, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Sort of OT, but one of the things on my "bucket list" is to hurl a folding chair at Michael Bolton while he's singing "When A Man Loves A Woman".

(This comment is 100% snark free-Seriously it is snark free)

MissTaken May 16, 2012 at 1:48 pm

According to the above Michael Bolton died April 23. But his son is still around. Maybe he'll sing and let you throw a chair at him?

HogeyeGrex May 16, 2012 at 1:56 pm

I'd rather see you hurl Kenny G at him, but I'd settle for the chair.

Baconzgood May 16, 2012 at 2:03 pm

I almost did it once. My mom took me to a concert, but the chairs were bolted to the ground.

HogeyeGrex May 16, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Child abuse. I'm terribly sorry.

Kenny G, however, is not generally bolted to the ground, so…

Baconzgood May 16, 2012 at 2:13 pm

No I was in my late 20s. I just don't pass up free tickets to a live show no matter how shitty.

ElPinche May 16, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Yeah, but he holds the world record for the longest blow.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 8:19 pm

I don't even know who this guy is, and now I'm glad.

pepperpat May 16, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Does it have to be a folding chair?

Baconzgood May 16, 2012 at 3:05 pm

I'd prefer a wooden one. Like the ones you see in church basements.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 8:18 pm

I'm'a urge you to start paying into a bail fund, dood. Do it now. A dime a day.

MissTaken May 16, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I celebrate the man's entire catalog.

Blueb4sunrise May 16, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Criterion?

Jus_Wonderin May 16, 2012 at 1:57 pm

That reminds me, for some reason, of the 1975 Sears Underwear model. He was celebrated too.

Steverino247 May 16, 2012 at 2:22 pm

I actually have that catalog at home. And yes, you can see the head of his penis hanging out the bottom of the underwear.

OK, now why the fuck do I have that? Because you never know when someone will make a joke about a Sears catalog. I'm the most prepared motherfucker in history. I also have a Sears poncho, so I'm covered musically, too.

Jus_Wonderin May 16, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Hey, "luck favors the prepared".

ChessieNefercat May 16, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Somehow, though, you seem as though you would be a tidy hoarder. No squashed mummified cats.

Poncho? Musically?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?

Steverino247 May 16, 2012 at 9:49 pm

That's right folks! Don't touch that dial!

Equality_Joe May 16, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Wingnuts understand that it's not actually an honor system, and that that whole putting your mark before you vote thing is in fact a pretty reasonable verification step, as made clear by the fact that it deterred O'Keefe's pretend journalists?

I'm just saying. I don't need to show photo ID every time I send my landlord my rent check, because I SIGN THEM.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 8:23 pm

And you sign them under penalty. Essentially, when you go get your ballot, you sign a document that says you are the person you claim to be, and that all claims that you make upon that form as to your identity and address are true to the best of your knowledge. Should any of them be false in any particular, you are liable to civil and criminal penalties. That little bastard knew that, and that's why he showed up with his hand in a cast, so he couldn't sign the document.

Equality_Joe May 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Technically, it's an act of fraud to knowingly and falsely request a ballot, even if you don't sign anything. This is the reason O'Keefe isn't particularly eager to set foot in New Hampshire anytime soon.

You can tell that they're aware of this, too, and that they think they're cleverly avoiding this by saying, "The name is…".

Of course, this also reveals that they're certifiable morons, because by and large, the law isn't pixel-bitchy and magical like that. The plain meaning of those words, to a rational person, was a request and a self-identification by that name. In fact, the fact that they thought they were being clever and technically-not-saying-they-were-that-guy really just makes it easier to prove the "knowingly and falsely" part.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Thanks for the clarification, Equality_Joe.

I can't wait till their sentences are handed down.

Equality_Joe May 16, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Well, I should disclaim that IANAL, and I'm also not a lawyer, but I have a few lawyer friends, and they always get a huge laugh out of people who think that the law is like magic spells, and if you say the right words in the right order, you're totally in the clear, regardless of your obvious intended meaning as understood by a reasonable person.

Sort of like that myth that if you ask an undercover cop if they're a cop, they're required to answer honestly.

But yeah, that New Hampshire thing is definitely true: O'Keefe has a grand jury waiting for him if he ever sets foot in the state, because just asking for a ballot fraudulently is a criminal act, even if you haven't signed anything or attempted to cast it.

Mumbletypeg May 16, 2012 at 1:49 pm

I know that the photo still is of Michael Bolton, lowly office worker, taking out his frustrations on the printer/fax.. But in my heart of black hearts, the ultimate fantasy involves more like Bolton-on-Bolton violence, i.e. the pop singer takes a pummeling from his namesake for even dreaming of terrorizing America with "Love Is A Wonderful Thing."

BaldarTFlagass May 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm

You should try to mix in the porn-stache Bolton there too, especially the pummeling part.

Jus_Wonderin May 16, 2012 at 1:50 pm

"GET A JOB!!!!"

littlebigdaddy May 16, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Needz moar pimp canes.

Poindexter718 May 16, 2012 at 1:51 pm

He is the Inspector Clouseau of investigative journalists.

not that Radio May 16, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Why should I have to go to jail? He's the one who sucks.

DonnyKerabotsos May 16, 2012 at 1:56 pm

I'm not watching this.

So, when questioned about whether he was Micheal Bolton Jr., the O'Queef 'operative' meekly responds, "That would be correct?"

You know, I'd ALMOST respect them a LITTLE BIT if they just had the balls to push through on these silly prank investigations that they love to do. None of this "that would be correct, sir" equivocating bullshit, but just once let one of them go all Samuel L. Jackson on some poll worker.

"Did I say Junior, motherfucker? Do I look like a Junior to you, bitch? Go ahead, call me Junior again, motherfucker, I dare you, I double dog dare you!"

I'd watch that. (full disclosure. I myself am a Jr. I've always hated it.)

Jus_Wonderin May 16, 2012 at 2:04 pm

I get where you are coming from. My middle name is Harold and I would not have wished that on my child. Of course, she probably wouldn't have cared for the first years.

BaldarTFlagass May 16, 2012 at 2:06 pm

The Sweet Prince had progeny? Who knew?

HobbesEvilTwin May 16, 2012 at 2:01 pm

why don't you Wonkette jerks just go ahead an ruin everything by telling us that wrestling is fake?!

Weenus299 May 16, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Off to a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison for that no-talent ass clown.

ChessieNefercat May 16, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Somebody needs to find that little Martian from the old Bugs Bunny cartoons to just bitch slap O'Bleat around the room until he admits he's nothing but a frustrated anger-gerbil because no woman ever has or ever will give him the time of day. Ever. Even when he wears his furry Care-Bear pimp coat. They point. They laugh. They mock. They do not give him the time of day. Ever.

And that will never change, Jimmy. Trying to deprive voters of their civil rights will not change that, Jimmy. You will still and always be an inadequate loser in every way, Jimmy. So why don't you do everybody a favor and just give up?

actor212 May 16, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Wouldn't that make O'Keefe a….felon?

vodkamuppet May 16, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Stupid obvious comment that's been said ad nauseum: Why hasn't this little dick been arrested yet? Obama is apparently paranoid enough to super secret kill Brietbart, why hasn't the hyper-competent DOJ prosecuted this dumb flaccid dick? Serious question.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 2:05 pm

The little bastard! He arrived with his hand in a cast because he KNEW he was about to commit a fraud. Had he signed that piece of paper, he would have invoked the penalties for giving fraudulent information to the government, which carries a hefty fine.

I hope they ALL go to jail over this. I'd really really like to see O'Keefe after a ten-year prison sentence.

ChessieNefercat May 16, 2012 at 7:26 pm

"I'd really really like to see O'Keefe after a ten-year prison sentence."

I think it would be fun to see him on his way to a ten-year prison sentence.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Yes, yes (rubs hands, cackles) that would be wonderful.

Gads, I hate that they make me hate them so.

DaRooster May 16, 2012 at 2:12 pm

BINGO!
I am just going to start editing my mistakes!
"I didn't realize the table saw was running."
(*cut/edit*)
"I love having all of my fingers still."

anniegetyerfun May 16, 2012 at 2:21 pm

James O'Keefe: Pole worker.

OneYieldRegular May 16, 2012 at 2:26 pm

If he keeps this up, he's going to have to surrender his McJournalism credentials.

mavenmaven May 16, 2012 at 2:29 pm

"Michelle Malkin wrote that "investigative journalist James O'Keefe and Project Veritas continues to expose, expose, expose" "
Pretty much the only way either of them would be of any interest is if they "exposed" their privates on TV. Well, Malkin, anyway. Actually, that wouldn't be that interesting either.

ElPinche May 16, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Hmmm, pretending to be someone else to get a ballot. That smells like voter fraud to me. Isn't about time O'Keefe spends the rest of his life sucking semen out of prison cell mate's assholes? I think so.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 2:55 pm

If you can get him into a cell with John Edwards and Rod Blagojevich I can set up the webcams and a PCI compliant payments system.

ElPinche May 16, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Let's throw Octomom wanking and make it a pay per view extravaganza.

Dildeaux May 16, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Well if President Obama werent so blah, then Okeefe wouldnt be required to fight back with all he's got. As always…
I blame Obama.

fitley May 16, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Do Queefer's parents and parole officer know he left the house again?

spareme May 16, 2012 at 4:10 pm

I still can't stand this fucking guy.

TootsStansbury May 16, 2012 at 4:14 pm

O'Queef? Rat face obvy.

Fox n Fiends May 16, 2012 at 4:22 pm

He's just trying to distract us from the fact that he killed Breitbart.

Veritas78 May 16, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Where else did I hear that? Was it a lovers' quarrel? Or some bondage game gone awry? Can't remember which.

Veritas78 May 16, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Like those drunks with ten DUIs who go out and do it again, he'll do it again.

If someone were to write LIAR on his forehead with a soldering iron, that would solve a lifetime of problems. Hypothetically, of course.

MissNancyPriss May 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

He's another one who hasn't gotten a much expected ass kicking yet. I don't get it. What's happened to all the 80's style bullies who would be all over this central casting annoying dweeb? If anyone should be getting an ass whoopin' on a daily basis, it's this low hanging fruit.

PuglyDoRight May 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Hey O'Keefe–Lee Harvey Oswald wants his face back.

ttommyunger May 17, 2012 at 9:04 am

This clown is still around because our politicians are spineless fucktards. They let this little cunt single-handedly bring down ACORN and cost a fine woman her job and reputation so now he has notches on his little gun and everybody runs scared. He makes me sick, but our politicians are worse.

Wile E. Quixote May 16, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Why thank you. I was trying to work in Hitler too, and the obligatory Wonkette dick joke, but I couldn't figure out how to do so without completely fucking up the feng shui.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 8:08 pm

I see what you did there. Well played, man, well fucking played.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Ah, OK. I'm not as on top of issues as I used to be, and who knows what the little bastid is up to the minute my back is turned, yaknow.

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