Nobody Will Let Poor Chris Christie Save Your Pussy From That Tree

  greatest american heroes

Haha, here is a “funny” video from Governor Sammiches, Chris Christie, about how he is so jealous of perfect angel Newark Mayor Cory Booker, last seen breaking and entering into a burning building and abducting the woman therein. Except that it is actually funny? It’s okay dudes, you can still hate him afterwards. Nobody’s here to take your spite from your cold dead hands.

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83 comments

  1. Barb

    "Everybody loves a comeback story"
    Except for the workers who have to refill the buffet every time Christie "comes back."

  2. SudsMcKenzie

    Booker: "Govenor Christie I accidentally made three turduckens"

    Christie: "I got this".

    1. Negropolis

      WIN

      Booker: "Fuck. I ordered too large and order of fries."

      Christie: "I got this."

  3. edgydrifter

    Couldn't Christie use his personal gravity like one of those "cat magnets" I saw on TV?

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        I only got about 45 seconds in before it went to eternal buffer. The guy at the beginning, talking with the chick? Looks like a dead ringer.

  4. FakaktaSouth

    Whatever – he can say funny stuff with a funny face – I totes believe that. Hell, when I saw him on Cake Boss with that cake the size of New Jersey, he could not have looked happier.

  5. friendlyskies

    Someone just told me that Chris Christie was funny, and that's why Thurston Howell the Turd would make him VP, and win. Ahem. Yeah. No. If they're going for laughs, maybe Palin's still the best bet?

    1. actor212

      I don't think Christie would make a bad choice for the VP spot on the GOP ticket. He's an angry white man without the creepy John McCain "Hey, you kids! Get off my lawn!" vibe.

      *Mitt*, on the other hand….

  6. SayItWithWookies

    Okay, I liked the Tebow at 3:10. Of course that was Booker — Christie, though — well…

  7. Arken

    Well of course Christie couldn't save anyone from a burning building. With all that fat, he'd go up like a roman candle.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      I half expect if they wanted to be saved, they'd have to throw themselves out of the house into his arms as he can't get his wide-ass through the doors.

      1. Arken

        He'd be handy in a high-rise fire though. He could just lay down and let people on upper floors land on him.

        1. Jus_Wonderin

          The upside of that is the jumpee could win the X prize for private sector space travel as they achieved low Earth orbit after bouncing off CC.

  8. Schmannnity

    I thought it was real until Booker starts jacking up the Christie's Suburban with him in it.

    1. Chichikovovich

      A bit unfair. The video isn't all that funny, but it's not horrible, and the bit about Booker saving people is Christie poking gentle fun at himself. It's hard to imagine Booker would be willing to appear in it otherwise.

      1. Oblios_Cap

        it stalled before the 1:30 minute mark and I wasn't waiting for it start back up. I missed all that.

  9. el_donaldo

    And that tire flat noise? Please. Christie's ass cheeks are just too huge to rumble when he farts.

  10. Jus_Wonderin

    I am strangely attracted to Christie. And I live way the fuck down here in the South. Gravity is a weak force…yeah, right.

  11. proudgrampa

    So when Christie collapses from that heart attack he's gonna have, wouldn't it be ironic if Cory saved his ass???

    1. JustPixelz

      Saved his ass? That would be a lot of saving. I don't think even Booker has the time or strength.

  12. NorthStarSpanx

    Trenton stinks today, lightning struck a Dow Chemical plant across the border in PA and the air is rancid. I wonder if it will affect Christie's lunch?

  13. Chick-Fil-Atheistâ„¢

    I have to admit that was indy-filmish, but sorry… Christie can't deliver a punchline.

  14. randcoolcatdaddy

    I'm not sure which is bigger – Chris Christie's inflated ego, his waistline, or the empty cavity inside the man's head.

  15. Groupshrug

    Wow, the writing and mockumentary filming style is nothing like The Office.

    Needs more shakeycam.

  16. Texan_Bulldog

    I would become a LDS member to marry Cory Booker (but I'm not giving up my Dr. Pepper or alcohol).

  17. __kth__

    Since it's actually Mayor Booker, and not an actor portraying him dressed in a pimp/zoot suit, we can safely assume that Christie has written off the teabaggers.

  18. James Michael Curley

    Booker has put on some weight. I noticed that when the fire rescue episode was playing out.

  19. tessiee

    "Nobody Will Let Poor Chris Christie Save Your Pussy"

    Lord help us all, I quickly read that as "Nobody will Let Poor Chris Christie Shave Your Pussy"

  20. bobloblawlawblg

    After watching this, I admire Booker more and think of Christie more as a "number two." Mission accomplished?

  21. Redgyal

    Oh I get it! The actual nice guy who everyone likes and does good things isn't good enough to be second in command to a sociopathic misanthrope running for president. I think they're right!

    I kind of wish Booker didn't do this because the point of the video is to downplay his accomplishments and make fat boy look like he is worth something. But as they say karma……

  22. ttommyunger

    Golf clap. Corey didn't do himself any favors here, sharing face-time with that fat fuck.

Comments are closed.