While America’s been focusing this week on incredibly important issues like Rush Limbaugh’s induction into the Missouri Hall of Flame, Obama’s no-shi moment, how Obama’s gayness will be the end of him and how undercover bathhouse boy will save us from the gayz, and how gas prices are all Obama’s fault but not really but yes they are… we’ve been bizzy too, over here in Yore-up.
Greek political parties failed to agree (for the fourth time) on a coalition government and announced they’re heading for yet another general election. Even this weekend’s coalition talks were close to impossible, because Alexis Tsipras (who is freaking handsome and should just win, OK?), the leader of the the Radical Left Coalition, Syriza, refused to sit at the same table with the neo-Nazi “Golden Dawn” party.
Golden Dawn’s campaign platform included deporting all non-Greek people (even legal immigrants), placing land mines all along the Greek border to keep the scofflaws out and if people didn’t obey, there would be another Attack of the Giant Moussaka.
Based on these awesome promises, more than 50% of the Greek police force (and other unstable people) helped Golden Dawn win 21 seats in the Greek parliament. The Dawnies celebrated their win with fiery heils and a press conference, where party thugs ordered journalists to stand upon entry of dear leader, Nikolaos Michaloliakos. Journalists who refused were tossed from the room. Then Nikolaos Michaloliakos proceeded to shout at the “Junta of TV and yellow press” for not covering his glorious party, touted his party’s black (of course) T-shirts, quoted Julius Caesar’s I came, I saw, I conquered (he’s been wanting to say this all his life) and finished it all off with a dollop of, “The new golden dawn of Hellenism is rising. For those who betray this homeland, the time has come to fear.” How did Ari Fleischer get elected to Greek parliament? We don’t even know.