GREAT MOMENTS IN CAMPAIGN BRILLIANCE  6:39 pm May 14, 2012

Ron Paul Plots New Democracy-Lite Path To Convention Glory

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Pirate Paul is a-coming fer yer delegates, YAR.

American democracy’s most persistent old fart Ron Paul has announced that he no longer cares for democracy per se in the traditional sense of trying to “win votes” from “voters,” because this is a hard thing to do, when your platform is mostly insane. “We will no longer spend resources campaigning in primaries in states that have not yet voted,” sayeth Doctor Congressman Paul, who will instead focus henceforth on a cheaper alternative to never not running for president, that of trying to stir up shit at state nominating conventions by pilfering delegates that he will ransom for a speaking spot or some other sexy consolation prize at the RNC convention in Tampa. Video of said shit being stirred, after the jump!

There was bitter Romneyite-on-Paultard violence in Oklahoma at Saturday’s state GOP convention when the Paultard plot to stage a parliamentary procedure-based coup of the delegate slate failed and they all went cold nuts:

And here is the report from NewsOK.com for those of you who do not adore the shrill sound of wingnut screams:

Paul supporters, who numbered about 600 and made up about 40 percent of the convention, used various parliamentary procedures to contest rules.

They complained the state party violated its own rules by failing to have a roll-call vote on the slate of national delegates and voted against adjourning the convention.

“Follow the rules!” they chanted.

Many of them met outside the Embassy Suites Hotel after the convention.

Earlier, a Paul supporter complained he had been hit in the back of the head by a Romney backer; Paul supporters got upset when convention officials tried to remove the Paul backer.

Good grief. [The Hill/NewsOK.com]

 

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{ 252 comments }

nounverb911 May 14, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Some of Romney's best friends just bought Paul off.

Boojum May 14, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Dr. Ron Paul!

"What is a fucktard, Alex"?

Callyson May 14, 2012 at 7:07 pm

"What is a certifiable lunatic, Alex?"

nounverb911 May 14, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Needs more Hindenburgs blimps.

mrpuma2u May 15, 2012 at 11:32 am

Who knew I had something in common with Dr. Paul? He likes his women just like me, sleazy and easy!

Troglodeity May 14, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Since ending your campaign is now "suspending" your campaign, what do we call this? Suspended animation?

Designer_Rants May 14, 2012 at 7:38 pm

"Eyebrow Wig Mesmerization"

MissTaken May 14, 2012 at 6:46 pm

I miss the blimp.

Generation[redacted] May 14, 2012 at 7:22 pm

The blimp was always suspended.

CapnFatback May 14, 2012 at 7:28 pm

What happened to Chris Christie now?

weejee May 14, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Or Newt?

BarackMyWorld May 15, 2012 at 2:13 am

I preferred the one that said "Ice Cube's a pimp."

C_R_Eature May 15, 2012 at 5:59 am

I can't believe the Trojan company never bought one. It would be the perfect advertizing metaphor for them, no?

BaldarTFlagass May 14, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Who knew that, when the civil war came, it would pit Republican against Republican? This is great!

Generation[redacted] May 14, 2012 at 7:22 pm

I'll bring the popcorn, meet me at the hill overlooking Bull Run.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 15, 2012 at 1:29 am

All of us, Katie.

Chill-A-Sketch May 14, 2012 at 6:47 pm

The RLOVEUTION is fucking over….time to get a job, Paultards!

Barb May 14, 2012 at 6:47 pm

1:21 There's Waldo!

sullivanst May 14, 2012 at 7:11 pm

I love how the video, which presumably should have caught the back-punching had it actually occurred, is edited to start with the accusation of back-punching.

Just like you don't see the car that is alleged to have attempted to run some people over.

Mittens Howell, III May 14, 2012 at 6:47 pm

"Follow the rules!" chanted the Libertarians.

*headexplosion*

Jukesgrrl May 14, 2012 at 7:07 pm

At least they weren't running around in the street screaming, "Stop Raping People!" See, sometimes the world DOES improve.

YouBetcha May 14, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Those are the worst drag queens ever.

V572 Is this him? May 14, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Shut the mutha down, Paultards! No justice, no peace!

All the Republican bigwigs get twitchy when asked who's going to get to give a major speech at their little pep rally that no one watches anymore.

In any case, what the convention delegates really want to talk about is not jobs or the economy, but where can a guy get some clean, cheap tail in Tampa, and they're not talking about lobster.

Boojum May 14, 2012 at 8:07 pm

They're not talking about women, either.

Fare la Volpe May 14, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Those poor dogs…

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Oh, baby! You're awful.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 15, 2012 at 1:32 am

The big topic will be the design of the official RNC Kevlar convention vests. Everyone will be wanting one, so how they look is going to be a big issue. (The color scheme is a given.)

not that Radio May 15, 2012 at 8:45 am

White Kevlar, huh?

Mittens Howell, III May 14, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Who's the coy little wench in the middle?

V572 Is this him? May 14, 2012 at 7:02 pm

The others are frightening. Her too, maybe.

Callyson May 14, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Jan Brewer.

Blueb4sunrise May 14, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Brutal there C. , but hysterical.

LetUsBray May 14, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Hitler?

ttommyunger May 15, 2012 at 8:16 am

Who cares? Bathe her and bring her to my tent!

Dr. Nick Riviera May 14, 2012 at 6:49 pm

I imagine the aftermath of that fight as an empty battlefield littered with furry heads and monocles

HippieEsq May 14, 2012 at 6:59 pm

and triangle hats. There will be half-smoked bowls, too, but only until my friends show up.

Negropolis May 14, 2012 at 9:27 pm

I actually imagine it liteered with an inordinate amount of Walmart-bought handguns. Also, an assortment of motorized scooter parts. Also, lots of comic books. Also.

Come here a minute May 14, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Ron Paul can't be taken seriously until he supplements Doctor/Congressman with Dentist/Lawyer/Realtor®.

Jukesgrrl May 14, 2012 at 7:07 pm

And gets a better wig.

Designer_Rants May 14, 2012 at 7:26 pm

He's already got eyebrow wigs, what more do you want?

dadanarchist May 14, 2012 at 7:47 pm

And a better accent.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 9:24 pm

You forgot Karate_Black_Belt and All_Around_Badass.

mavenmaven May 14, 2012 at 6:50 pm

I recall a similar melee in Munich some years ago…

nounverb911 May 14, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Did it involve some mustachioed paper hanger?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Beer was involved, yes?

Lascauxcaveman May 15, 2012 at 1:18 am

In Munich, beer is always involved. And thank God for that.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 15, 2012 at 10:11 pm

I'd've called him a putz but I think it's pronounced different.

Sort of like choot-spa.

Negropolis May 14, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Will they be servinig beer in this convention hall? I was told there would be beer.

Dudleydidwrong May 14, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Wait until they burn down the Reichst…er, Tampa City Hall, and blame Democrats, teh olds, and teh gheys from South Beach.

YasserArraFeck May 14, 2012 at 11:53 pm

Beer Hall Putsch vs Convention Hall Putz's. If Adolf had depended on these fuckwits, he'd have died in obscurity.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 15, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Yaknow … that wouldn't have been so bad.

YasserArraFeck May 16, 2012 at 9:26 am

I suspect that there are a few people out there who might tend to agree with you

Negropolis May 15, 2012 at 2:24 am

Well, the problem is that no one cares about Tampa, the taint of Florida.

YouBetcha May 14, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Sharpie eyebrows. Why?

Fare la Volpe May 14, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Better than eyebrow merkins.

bagofmice May 14, 2012 at 8:12 pm
Mittens Howell, III May 14, 2012 at 6:51 pm

There goes our chance for America's first White Raisin President.

starfanglednut May 14, 2012 at 7:41 pm

What happens to a dream deferred?

Fare la Volpe May 14, 2012 at 9:00 pm

But like Ross Perot before him, we shall o-ver-coooooome~

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I don't wanna think about any kinda come in connection with those old farts.

Negropolis May 14, 2012 at 9:29 pm

St. Ronnie of California libel!

mrblifil May 14, 2012 at 6:51 pm

These are really not the folks I want spend time with in a room without windows.

nounverb911 May 14, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Are Paultards the right height?

Jukesgrrl May 14, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Judging from the ones I've met, a little on the short side. At least if we're using Rmoney as the ideal, which I'm sure he thinks we should.

OneYieldRegular May 14, 2012 at 8:29 pm

If maturity and insight were the metrics, not even Disney would let them on the rides.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 9:50 pm

To rest your beer bottles on?

DemmeFatale May 14, 2012 at 6:52 pm

I thought Ralph Nader was "America's Most Persistent Old Fart."

(I will never forgive you, Ralphie-boy!)

Jukesgrrl May 14, 2012 at 7:08 pm

I guess he even failed at that.

Designer_Rants May 14, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Old Farts: Unsafe at any speed.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Hey! I resemble that remark.

Mittens Howell, III May 14, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Paultards sure yell a lot, I thought the pot would help with that. *sadface*

Blueb4sunrise May 14, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Shhhhh…
There's PCP in the MJ.

rickmaci May 14, 2012 at 6:55 pm

The four womenz in the "Pin-Ups For" poster could come into my room and tie me up and threaten me by saying "You're not leaving here until we convince you to vote for Dr. Paul, and " I would bravely respond, " You can do what you will with me, you may leave me destroyed in doing it, but no matter what you do, I am not going to vote for Ron Paul." End of porn movie plot.

Jukesgrrl May 14, 2012 at 7:10 pm

When does the pizza arrive?

sullivanst May 14, 2012 at 7:19 pm

After the washing machine's fixed.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 9:26 pm

This could have, er, legs.

Dudleydidwrong May 14, 2012 at 11:43 pm

Ron Jeremy, is that you?

thatsitfortheother1 May 15, 2012 at 5:29 am

Québécois acent: "Very edgy."

MissTaken May 14, 2012 at 6:55 pm

That sound you hear is a million Paultards wiping the tears from their cheeks with their Cheeto covered hands.

ORANG STREECKS fER fREEDUM!11!!

SorosBot May 14, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Then they have to go back to their work on protecting the World – of Warcraft.

BerkeleyBear May 14, 2012 at 7:20 pm

You'd think that, but the immediate response was "No, he isn't giving up, you just don't know what he means – we'll still be doing crazy stuff forever". Could just be standard denial, or the precursor to Messianic ritual/transformation of Paul from person to godhead of the church of Warhammer.

Dr. Nick Riviera May 14, 2012 at 7:55 pm

There will be no smiles in WoW tonight, my friends

Boojum May 14, 2012 at 8:09 pm

That's WAR PAINT!!!

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Sometimes it's tough speaking several different languages. "Orang" means "man/person" in Malay/Indonesian. I had to puzzle over this for a LONG time.

SorosBot May 14, 2012 at 6:57 pm

It doesn't take much for the Paultards to get all head-stompy.

HippieEsq May 14, 2012 at 6:57 pm

The second Ron Paul gets a speaker slot at the Republican National Convention in Tampa, every member of the Republican Jewish Coalition (all fifty of them) will spontaneously combust. As a Jew myself, I'm debating the merits…

Jukesgrrl May 14, 2012 at 7:13 pm

I'm hoping that his grand entrance will involve the audience lighting doobies.

Guppy May 14, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Republican Jewish Coalition (all fifty of them)

Do Jews for Jesus count?

the_problem_child May 14, 2012 at 10:30 pm

No.

Geminisunmars May 15, 2012 at 6:04 am

Only until they run out of toes.

Exhausted66 May 14, 2012 at 6:59 pm

I'm old enough to remember when pin-ups were pretty.

nounverb911 May 14, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Needs more Farrah Fawcett.

sullivanst May 14, 2012 at 7:15 pm

I'll settle for reposts of the Veronica Lake pic from last week.

rickmaci May 14, 2012 at 7:04 pm

You would need to know more about how and where those gals get "pinned."

Fare la Volpe May 14, 2012 at 7:16 pm

I think there's only one place where you can pin the donkey.

DemmeFatale May 14, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Really.
Rode hard and put away wet.

Dr. Nick Riviera May 14, 2012 at 7:59 pm

They're pretty in a tired Price-is-Right kinda way…

Boojum May 14, 2012 at 8:11 pm

If you think Bob Barker is pretty.

not that Radio May 15, 2012 at 8:40 am

or Drew Carey. Hubba hubba.

outragedcitizen May 15, 2012 at 7:55 am

I know, right! I thought they were a bunch of skags from one of those "reality" housewife shows!

Hedley_Lamarr May 14, 2012 at 7:01 pm

"Where'd he get the fag shirt?" -Tim Gunn

Designer_Rants May 14, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Queer Eye for the Hairless Eye

Antispandex May 14, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Is that a picture of genuine Paul booby girls, or did he "buy" those voters?

Jukesgrrl May 14, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Foto-shoppe.

flamingpdog May 14, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Old farto-shop.

edgydrifter May 14, 2012 at 7:04 pm

One of the most magical sights in all of politics is the face of a Paultard contorting in equal parts bewilderment and agitation when he or she is confronted by someone who doesn't place Robert's Rules of Order on par with the Ten Commandments and the Bill of Rights.

rickmaci May 14, 2012 at 7:20 pm

The common denominator for most of the PaulTards I have met is they were their high school student council parliamentarian.

Boojum May 14, 2012 at 8:19 pm

I don't think that's fair. Paultards cover the entire spectrum.

Beowoof May 14, 2012 at 7:04 pm

He was still running. Up here in the hinterlands of Western NY, I see Ron Paul signs all over. Hillbillies live in New York.

BerkeleyBear May 14, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Homemade (I assume) spray stencil signs for RP are popping up here in Portland ahead of our primary deadline. Crazy is a powerful drug.

Callyson May 14, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Mayor Daley is looking at this scene and thinking "Republicans are such wusses. I would have put a stop to this, stat…"

Of course, his way of accomplishing that involved a police riot, but hey…

James Michael Curley May 14, 2012 at 7:25 pm

And beating poor Mike Wallace into an early grave.

C_R_Eature May 14, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Now, everyone knows that the Police are not here to create disorder.

They're here to preserve disorder.

Callyson May 14, 2012 at 7:06 pm

"Do you want this 'party' running the state?

Honey, I don't want that party running the garbage dump…

Designer_Rants May 14, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Hopefully soon they'll be running like rats from their burning garbage dump of a party. Or just staying home, "Unenthusiastic Rat Voters".

MLHencken May 14, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Dried-up Cougars for Ron Paul?

Beowoof May 14, 2012 at 7:42 pm

They prefer astro-glide enhanced.

Chow Yun Flat May 14, 2012 at 11:41 pm

So do I.

Lascauxcaveman May 14, 2012 at 7:18 pm

I may be too picky, but Ron Paul's somewhat long-of-tooth 'pinups' look like they're held together mostly with greasepaint and duct-taped corsets.

Designer_Rants May 14, 2012 at 7:35 pm

A tip they learned from groupy-ing for Insane Clown Posse.

Beowoof May 14, 2012 at 7:53 pm

It left me with impression that these ladies were plucked from the Mustang Ranch Retirement Center.

weejee May 14, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Didn't look like there were too many 100 km bike trippers there. BTW, how was the trip?

Lascauxcaveman May 15, 2012 at 1:07 am

Good ride, quick and dirty (like Ron Paul's lay-deez! Yuk yuk!)

But seriously, it was fun to do. Nice and cool starting off in the morning for that big climb, just few raindrops for ten minutes or so about 40km into it to remind us we're in the Pacific NW, absolutely sunny and beautiful after that, and all done in less than 6 1/2 hours.

Best of all, nobody got hit by a logging truck.

See you there next year?

Texan_Bulldog May 14, 2012 at 8:04 pm

The blondes look like the "Before" picture of Jan Brewer.

Butch_Wagstaff May 14, 2012 at 8:32 pm

I'm thinking they may have appeared in pictures on top of Corvettes in those esteemed publications your found in mechanics' shops back in the day.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 9:54 pm

It's not the age or the weight or even the makeup or clothing; it's the combination of all of those with a harpyish air of, I dunno, desperation. I've seen women much older and fatter that are more attractive than this lot.

Lascauxcaveman May 15, 2012 at 1:08 am

It's all the obvious dark roots that get me. Even the one going brunette has 'em.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 15, 2012 at 10:14 pm

There's something hard and unpleasant about those faces. I'd be afraid to encounter these women in a not-public place. They'd probably steal my cane and whup me upside the head with it before shaking the change outa my pockets.

littlebigdaddy May 14, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Couldn't possibly be gayer.

Texan_Bulldog May 14, 2012 at 7:21 pm

I see where Seinfeld's 'puffy' shirt ended up.

iburl May 14, 2012 at 10:36 pm

The difference being Ron Paul is incapable of feeling embarrassment.

chascates May 14, 2012 at 7:22 pm

It would be pretty bad for his son if Paul lost big in Kentucky. Then again, his son had better get used to being a cult-like loser like his pop.

Fare la Volpe May 14, 2012 at 8:54 pm

But does anyone really like Rand Paul? I've never encountered anything but hate for the fucker, and with good reason: he's an ass.

I don't think even the Paultards like him, and they're the only fuckers who buy the Gute Doktor's family cookbook.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb May 14, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Goddamn, he won over Conway at +11%.

Of course, this is KY where they'd elect a drunken mime over a Democrat if the mime ran GOP.

Come to think of it, they did.

Lascauxcaveman May 15, 2012 at 1:33 am

That's drunken mime "ophthalmologist"*, if you don't mind, sir!

(*certified by his own personal ophthalmology board, no less)

And ophthalmology is NOT and easy word to remember how to spell, sir!

Fare la Volpe May 14, 2012 at 7:24 pm

My whole life feels like shit today.

But watching the Paultards cry and wail is giving me a raging dacryphilia boner.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 9:34 pm

(Hugs) Whatever it is, I hope it gets fixed and forgotten soon.

Fare la Volpe May 14, 2012 at 11:36 pm

I've come to the realization that I have way too much stuff, and that, despite my initial beliefs to the contrary, it will not in fact all fit into a single large duffel bag. That buggers my plans.

What is it about packing that is so draining? I think it's the emptiness of materialism (here lies the junk that was meant to make me happy), and the general sense of overwhelming that comes with realizing just how fucking much of it there is. Compound the fact that I'm moving by plane and thus have to FedEx huge boxes of crap and I just…fuck.

Why is restarting your life from scratch so hard?

Fukui-sanRadioBarb May 14, 2012 at 11:57 pm

Sorry to hear that you're having a bit of a time of it. At least you'll escape that horrible supervisor from work who complains about the African-American waitress.

If I might make a suggestion? Box your stuff up and ship it USPS at the "I don't care when it arrives rate". Recently I had cause to ship several very heavy (books) boxes from LA to SF and USPS easily beat out both UPS and FedEx on price. Quick, too – one box only took two days. The last one took five.

One of the things about moving long-distance is having to be utterly ruthless about what you really need. Even sentimental things. I moved from the UK to US so I know what it's like. It taught me that even things you thought you needed … you actually don't.

Good luck.

not that Radio May 15, 2012 at 12:03 am

Ironically, the USPS calls it "book rate". As though anyone ships books!

My moving rules are:

(a) if it doesn't fit into a pedophile van, don't bring it.

(b) if you haven't even opened the box 6 months after moving in, just drop it off at the homeless shelter without even looking inside. It couldn't have been that important.

(c) everyone who helps you pack the pedophile van gets free pizza and beer.

I've moved 37 times, and these rules have never failed.

Chichikovovich May 15, 2012 at 8:18 am

If you need help moving in when you get to Ann Arbor, or anything else like that, let me know. Reply to a couple of weeks old posts, I'll be notified by email, and I can post-delete a contact email address.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 15, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Sweetie, it's just STUFF. Packing is draining because everything has a memory attached, and you hate to leave any little piece of yourself behind plus you just KNOW you'll need the fur-lined handcuffs on the third date. Just remember, it's all just stuff. Give it away or leave it at Mom's, you'll be flying/driving home for Txgiving or Xmas anyway, or Mom can mail it to you if you pack it neatly and label it for her.

WhatTheHeck May 14, 2012 at 7:26 pm

He threw the tea overboard and kept the wenches instead?
With the war on wimmenz, it should be the other way around.

James Michael Curley May 14, 2012 at 7:30 pm

The sign of an amateur film or video used to be an unsteady camera. Now it is that everyone in the shot has a body mass index of over 40.

fuflans May 14, 2012 at 7:39 pm

'let's go to the parking lot!!!'

delicious.

dadanarchist May 14, 2012 at 7:42 pm

I don't get the photo. Is Ron Paul going to fill all the cabinet positions in his imaginary administration with transvestites?

Edit: h/t YouBetcha who got there first.

vodkamuppet May 14, 2012 at 11:49 pm

It's still a valid point no matter how many times you say it.

barto May 14, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Those Rent-Boys look pretty good in drag!

Guppy May 14, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Ron Paul's candidacy is worth exactly what the market will bear.

sbj1964 May 14, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Ron Paul is like the Herpes of the political world,he just keeps showing up,and there is nothing Romney can do.

DemmeFatale May 15, 2012 at 12:38 am

Ron Paul may be LIKE the Herpes of the political world, but Ralph Nader IS the Herpes of the political world!
(Hell hath no fury…)

fartknocker May 14, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Ron Paul, the DC Miser and the Galveston Porkmaster. He stands on the stage telling everyone how he hates Federal disaster aid, yet in 2009, the year after Hurricane Ike, Galveston county received $14,707/resident. Shit, Joan of Wasilla couldn't even do that as a 50% term Governor.

I hope the old fart gets redistricted out of existence.

glamourdammerung May 14, 2012 at 8:55 pm

I hope the old fart gets redistricted out of existence.

Actually, that is pretty much exactly what happened.

bagofmice May 14, 2012 at 7:48 pm

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Real Merkins for a pubic option!

Steverino247 May 14, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Let's go out to the Lobby!
Let's go out to the Lobby!
Let's go out to the Lobby
And get ourselves a treat!

And Ron Paul remained flat.

Monsieur_Grumpe May 14, 2012 at 7:55 pm

I am eagerly anticipating some good deals on used blimps and I don't mean that collection of sweater puppies up in that photo. Jeez, get minds out of the gutter.

randcoolcatdaddy May 14, 2012 at 8:04 pm

"Earlier, a Paul supporter complained he had been hit in the back of the head by a Romney backer."

The Romney supporter made a mistake. He thought it was one of Mitt's high school friends.

natoslug May 14, 2012 at 8:06 pm

YOU GO, ANGRY SCHMOO-girl!!! Wait, whaddya mean she wasn't in costume?

Arken May 14, 2012 at 8:12 pm

A Ronulan posted this on RawStory this morning. I'm still laughing:

"You Ron Paul haters may yet be shocked by events in Tampa later this year. Nothing is over, nothing is settled, and Mitt Romney has NOT won yet, and (brace yourselves) may NOT be the nominee. Ron Paul already has enough state wins for Delegates to nominate him from the floor of the convention. RNC rules 11 & 38 have not yet been addressed. It's not over by a long shot no matter how many times you establishment types say it is. Ron Paul for the win 2012."

Butch_Wagstaff May 14, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Bless their hearts.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb May 14, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Ha, they remind me of some of those Accepted for Value maniacs who try not to pay money to the IRS (and get fined and/or go to jail)

"I saw Willard Rmoney make a winning speech and the flag wasn't edged in gold, which means ipso facto plume de ma tante that it's only legal under Admiralty Law therefore an invalid acceptance speech so Herr Dr Feldmarschall Ronald Paulus will win the nomination under clause 18 subsection 3g of the Treaty of Ghent …"

etc etc and so on ad nauseam

ThundercatHo May 14, 2012 at 10:19 pm

That made no sense at all. If that's their defense for non-payment of taxes any one percenter could tell them they're doing it wrong. It always amazes me when people just don't pay their taxes and pretend there are no consequences.

Designer_Rants May 14, 2012 at 10:32 pm

I remember when I was a bartender in my early 20s and heard a bloviating customer bragging to his buddy and me about how he doesn't pay taxes, cuz CONSTITUTION, or something. I asked my very conservative Drudge reading, "Some of them WERE commiez" (on McCarthyism), professional accountant friend what he thought of that. He simply said, "Don't they like roads?"

C_R_Eature May 14, 2012 at 9:33 pm

"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

iburl May 14, 2012 at 10:39 pm

"establishment types" …those are the types that are not surrounded by padded walls?

Arken May 14, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Apparently Raw Story is part of 'the establishment.' Another Paultard said it was spreading 'NWO lies!!!'

Fukui-sanRadioBarb May 14, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Genius. I've not heard people yelling about the NWO for at least ten years. It's all Agenda 21 and THEIR TAKIN ARE FARMS stuff these days, even though none of these mongs have been closer to a farm than attempting to molest kids at the petting zoo.

Arken May 14, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Yeah, I remember hearing an Alex Jones rant back in the Clinton years where he talked about the NWO putting everyone in death camps. Remember when that happened? Man, those camps sucked.

CountryClubJihadi May 14, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Gross. Ron Paul and The Four Whoresmen of the Apocalypse.

bagofmice May 14, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Insert pearl necklace joke here.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb May 14, 2012 at 8:39 pm

She's a piss-poor raccoon impersonator. Points for trying though.

weejee May 14, 2012 at 11:06 pm

BoM is such a choker joker.

OneYieldRegular May 14, 2012 at 8:39 pm

My goodness. This certainly bodes well for Tampa.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Especially now that Gov. Rick Scott has refused to ban guns within the city. You just KNOW this is going to play out on a HUGE scale. Oh, man.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb May 14, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Really? We're not supposed to ideate on the deaths of those with whom we disagree, but this could be a very interesting development.

The Paulites seem very fizzed-up this year. Given the obvious crowning of Milt Ramley as King of the Loons there's a good chance there'll be a meltdown.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 10:26 pm

It has nothing to do with what WE think, really. Just look at yon screeching louts. Put a few tens or hundreds of thousands of them, fully armed, all together in the hot Florida sun someplace where they're getting screwed yet again (as they perceive it, and they're not wrong) by the "people in power."

It would be naive in the extreme to expect things to go peaceably. I expect holy hell to break forth and shouting matches to escalate. And I don't, sincerely, wish that on anyone, having lived through similar things myself.

poorgradstudent May 14, 2012 at 8:49 pm

A little more proof that Libertarians are just authoritarians who expect they've already inherited earned a spot in the imperial court.

glamourdammerung May 14, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Who would have guessed that excessive eye makeup only accentuates the crazy eyes?

DerrickWildcat May 14, 2012 at 8:57 pm

That red headed lady is good looking, but I can tell she is nothing but trouble.

littlebigdaddy May 14, 2012 at 9:28 pm

She's a cougpire or vampgar.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Let's just put it this way, Derrick: if she asks you to go with her someplace private? Don't go.

Sharkey May 14, 2012 at 9:00 pm

I think as long as everyone keeps their clothes on, we're okay here.

flamingpdog May 14, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Paultards deserve to turn around.

DaRooster May 14, 2012 at 9:05 pm

"…a Paul supporter complained he had been hit in the back of the head by a Romney backer"

Did he later complain of a horrible haircut?

anniegetyerfun May 14, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Paultards don't believe in forcing haircuts. If they didn't let a few guys grow out their luscious locks, who would play John Adams in all of the Revolutionary War re-enactments?

HarryButtle May 14, 2012 at 9:08 pm

I wouldn't hit that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that.

Fare la Volpe May 14, 2012 at 9:12 pm

And the women are ugly too!

Arken May 14, 2012 at 9:26 pm

I would, but I'm also ugly and overweight.

MissNancyPriss May 14, 2012 at 9:34 pm

you are an adorable little mouse.

Arken May 14, 2012 at 9:37 pm

It's all a facade! I've been deceiving you all! That's not really my picture!

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Gasp! (feels around feebly) My smelling salts!

You mean … you're not an adorable little mouse? (Sob!)

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Well, not without some sort of heavy implement, anyway.

Designer_Rants May 14, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Is Ron winking, or is his eyebrow flapping in the wind? Either way I do not care for it.

Neoyorquino May 14, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Nice calendar. Does Adam Ant know that Ron Paul is raiding his closet?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Fight! Fight! FIGHT!!!

weejee May 14, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Was that what caused the problem on the Hindenburg?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Ya seen one buncha blimps/disaster movies …

Negropolis May 14, 2012 at 9:21 pm

I see Grandpa Ron is in the "Get on my lawn!" phase of his campaign. Bless his heart; his age is getting the better of him, this time around, but he's still not going to stop.

The Mittens Romney, may you live in the most interesting of times. There is no honor among thieves. Romney has been buying votes and delegates since forever, so this couldn't be happening to a better guy.

Arken May 14, 2012 at 9:26 pm

But White Power Ron has actually spent more per delegate.

DerrickWildcat May 14, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Looks photoshopped to me. Those don't look like the hands or the neck of a 100 year or whatever old man.

iburl May 14, 2012 at 10:41 pm

I concur, somebody should contact Sheriff Joe, immediatamente!

Negropolis May 14, 2012 at 9:36 pm

I don't know why the Paulites didn't listen. He did always exclaim "You'll never get my GOLD!" whilst running up the hills before he magically disappeared.

Where is your god, now, Paultards? Hengh?!

C_R_Eature May 14, 2012 at 9:37 pm

That photoshoot has to be the saddest excuse for going after the Pastafarian vote I've ever seen.

Sharkey May 14, 2012 at 9:39 pm

That video needs more Jared Loughner.

johnnyzhivago May 14, 2012 at 9:43 pm

WTF is Paul doing posing with the cast of The Weather Channel's new show "Truck Stop Crack Ho's"???????????

AtlanticCapers May 14, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Why is that one lady holding a bologna?

anniegetyerfun May 14, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Well, now I can't unsee that.

C_R_Eature May 14, 2012 at 9:58 pm

That's a Pony.

Wait. No, that's a Baloney Pony.

flamingpdog May 14, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Nah, that's just a po' knee.

thatsitfortheother1 May 15, 2012 at 5:47 am

Among the four of them, they've likely held enough to open a deli.

HarryButtle May 16, 2012 at 11:46 pm

I was just looking at the pic again and thought the exact same thing! A sweaty, greasy bologna. Can't believe I missed it first time around.

C_R_Eature May 14, 2012 at 9:53 pm

By my count, there's nine Boobs in that picture.

GeneralLerong May 14, 2012 at 9:57 pm

FTW!

C_R_Eature May 14, 2012 at 9:59 pm

So it's not just me?

thatsitfortheother1 May 15, 2012 at 5:49 am

Nicely p layed.

ManchuCandidate May 14, 2012 at 10:07 pm

I almost missed the Farce of the Paultards. Nah, I didn't. So long Ron Paul, you arrogant disagreeable sack of shit and proof even a bitter libertarian crank is right twice a day.

flamingpdog May 14, 2012 at 10:39 pm
weejee May 14, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Oh shit, flamingdog, that's worse than that Kissinger-Palin shot I posted earlier. And that photog was really bad, eye bleach bad.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Notice that I am obviously and blatantly not clicking that link.

What was it?

weejee May 14, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Ron at the drag races, so to speak.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 15, 2012 at 10:16 pm

(Hugs the weej in gratitude) You know me, weej. I was trembling on the verge of clicking that damn link. You saved me, dood.

iburl May 14, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Imagine Obama sitting there. Somehow Paul can get away with this where nobody else can. I guess that's the benefit of having such hardcore sheeple supporters. Also blimps.

DahBoner May 14, 2012 at 11:00 pm

More time for Ron Paul to spend with his hot Democracy babes "panning for gold" (wink, wink) in the Yukon…

Fukui-sanRadioBarb May 14, 2012 at 11:13 pm

What wouldn't Ronaldus do for a bar of purest Klondike Au?

flamingpdog May 14, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Didn't we have a blog post here featuring a pin-up for Ron Paul just yesterday?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 15, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Wow. I clicked that link (more fool I) but managed to KILL EEET right before the visual. You horrible little rodent, you.

BarackMyWorld May 14, 2012 at 11:20 pm

If there's not a convention floor fight in Tampa, I am going be as disappointed as someone at a "Dark Shadows" screening.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb May 14, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Here's a new attack ad from Hopey attacking Romney at Bain Capital.

Rmoney shuts down KS steel mill *after* trying to fuck everyone out of healthcare and pensions.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 15, 2012 at 10:29 pm

I just RTd that to the max. What a fucking fuckety fucked-up fuck that vulture is. Stealing the money of those who made it just because he can. Here's hoping he develops ball-elephantiasis and can never leave his home again.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb May 15, 2012 at 10:36 pm

It was the $125M bond issue of which they immediately removed $40M for "management costs" which got me.

Rmoney is an asshole through and through.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 15, 2012 at 11:52 pm

One cent out of every three for "management costs"? Bet we can outsource that to Nigeria for less.

smokefilledroommate May 14, 2012 at 11:53 pm

Ron Paul Parking Lot is a documentary I'd like to see..

Dudleydidwrong May 14, 2012 at 11:57 pm

"Pin-ups for Ron Paul." So that's how he keeps his Depends on his ass. The velcro didn't work, huh? Must have learned that from David Vitter.

DemmeFatale May 15, 2012 at 12:51 am

What's with the dramatic and somber music?
Was there a funeral?
(I had to stop watching.)

ElPinche May 15, 2012 at 1:10 am

I love cheap escorts. Nothing beats $150 GFE.

valthemus May 15, 2012 at 1:39 am

I feel bad that I'm hoping for more GOP-on-GOP violence at Republican gatherings. How should an atheist do penance for wicked thoughts? Ten "Hail Mammons"?

Negropolis May 15, 2012 at 2:29 am

Anyone know of any good dirigible masts down in Tampa? 'cause we're gonnna' need 'em.

DerrickWildcat May 15, 2012 at 3:53 am

That gun thing in Tampa is gonna be pretty cool.

thatsitfortheother1 May 15, 2012 at 5:53 am

Maybe Hopey can co-opt the lot of them by coming out for MJ marriage just before the convention.

IndianaKevin May 15, 2012 at 6:35 am

Pickpocket at 2:11! Is that a security guy losing his wallet?

ttommyunger May 15, 2012 at 8:26 am

Four sluts and a nut.

CivicHoliday May 15, 2012 at 8:56 am

The PUMA's have found a new cause! Go get'm PUMA-tards! The GOP convention is going to be SO MUCH FUN

niblick77 May 15, 2012 at 9:19 am

Those four 'girls' look like they could compete on Ru Paul's Drag Race.

smitallica May 15, 2012 at 10:23 am

If your picture is usually found on a business card stuck under every windshield in a concert parking lot, can you still be called a "Pin-Up"?

pdiddycornchips May 15, 2012 at 11:00 am

Ron Paul is the only one who seems happy to be in that picture. The women have that look that hostages have when they're forced at gunpoint to make a video.

lulzmonger May 15, 2012 at 5:17 pm

So the guy who always sells himself as the plucky idealist sticking up for Just Plain Folks tacitly confirms that his entire campaign is now purely all about whoring up Dr. Paul's own political juice after the nominating convention?

Sweeeeeeeeeet.

Arken May 14, 2012 at 9:47 pm

I didn't even draw it. George Herriman did back in the 1920s. So ashamed… until distracted by shiny object.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 10:13 pm

You'll always be an adorable little mouse to me.

Arken May 14, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Aww, that's so- OO SHINY OBJECT!

Fukui-sanRadioBarb May 15, 2012 at 2:22 am

The "Pedovan Manifesto" sounds ideal, really.

Damn I wish I could teach my wife (b) but she won't have it.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 15, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Tell her it's the standard rule all professional organizers use (it's actually true — if you haven't looked at something for a year, you should get rid of it, is what they say. I know this because I'm a fucking packrat and have needed professional organizers all my life).

It's horrible when you get to be my parents' age and have EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING YOU EVER ACQUIRED in your life. Utterly horrible. Tell her that.

ETA: Here's YOUR hugs.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 16, 2012 at 1:41 pm

What's to disagree?

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