What does Irma Schimel think of her son, Mark, who is now the GOP candidate to beat his three-term Assemblywoman wife, Michelle, from whom he separated last year after 32 years of wedded bliss? Apparently Irma Schimel thinks her son Mark is an asshole.
“You’re joking,” Irma Schimel said when she learned of her son’s plans by the Daily News. “This is a really startling thing. It’s a shock. Why would he do this?”
It is a sad day when you realize a child you bore and raised would run for Assembly against the mother of his own two children. (Whom you assure reporters will beat him handily.) But at least he and the GOP promise it will be a “dignified, issue-oriented” campaign! And did they mention classy? Cause it will be!
Frank Moroney, the North Hempstead town GOP chairman, admitted there were concerns the race could degenerate into a bitter, personal battle, but insisted the GOP leaders urged him several times to keep it classy.
“One of the things we made clear is we want this to be a very dignified, issue-oriented campaign,” Moroney said.
For some unknown reason, Long Island Democrats are accusing Mark Schimel and the GOP of some sort of politics of personal destruction.
A Democratic Party source accused Mark Schimel and the Nassau GOP of “lowering themselves to any level . . . and allowing people’s personal issues to become part of political mudslinging.”
Which of course just makes us all want to know about these personal issues. (Our money’s on “lesbionic,” because that is where our money always is.) Also? Looks like we will now have to find Internet feeds of the official New York Assembly District 16 debates, because those are going to be like 50 times better than Desperate Real Housewives Wisteria zzzzzzzz.
Bring it home for us, Mark Schimel’s mom!
“I love her very much,” Irma Schimel said. “I can’t believe he’d do a thing like this. I’m going to talk to him.”
Michelle Schimel, 54, is in her third term, having first been elected in 2007 to replace Thomas DiNapoli, who resigned to become state controller.
“He’ll never win anything against Michelle,” Irma Schimel predicted. “They (the voters) love her.”
Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/estranged-husband-wife-mark-michelle-schimel-running-a-state-assembly-seat-article-1.1077153#ixzz1usLgAILG
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My ex-husband is the Mayor of Simpleton. You don't see me trying to unseat him, do you?
Hey! That reminds me of one of my fave XTC videos, with those jolly mop-top lads from Swindon riffing on the old Avengers teevee show!
Mark Schimel will be wearing sleeveless undershirts to all campaign events.
Sun's out, guns out.
During the debate: "I would like to know why the Assemblywoman has not signed the final papers yet?" followed by Schimel approaching her podium waving a stack of papers in his hand.
sleeveless undershirts
Do they still call those wife (███████)? Oops forgot we've passivated the aggression in the postings.
A friend of mine started calling them 'stanleys', referring to A Streetcar Named Desire'.
>>"urged him several times to keep it classy."
LIKE THEY ALWAYS DO!!!!
Joe Walsh counsels: "First things first, cut off the child support."
John McCaincient and Newt Gingrinch beat him to it, yaknow.
Stand by for the "GODLESS WHORE!" signs from Mark in 3…2…
Moroney?
Sounds like he should be chair of the Romney campaign.
It's a safe bet he knows how to pony.
But does he know how to twist?
Moroney's just not the same without a little moron.
Schimel, schamazzo, and whatever else they said in the Laverne and Shirley intro song. I will say, oppo research on this one ought to be pretty easy both ways.
"Sclemeel, schlemazel…" I believe.
You were close.
Schlemiel, schlamazel
Hasenpfeffer Incoporated!!
Da-da-dada-duh-da
We're gonna do it!
Thanks. Now it will take days to get that song out of my head. In return I shall place the "I'm too Sexy for my shirt" curse upon you.
I'm safe, Barb inoculated me against that with her first comment, above.
(Heh, I guess the terms 'Barb" and 'first comment' are a bit redundant around here.)
Isn't "hasenpfeffer" cooked rabbit?
Reminds me of that great French restaurant in San Francisco, Le Tomaine.
“One of the things we made clear is we want this to be a very dignified, issue-oriented campaign,”
So he meant "two bit skank 'ho" in the nicest way possible.
"Jane, you ignorant slut"
Can't wait to hear that debate.
When they air their dirty laundry, it will be real laundry!
And tons of toilet seat up/down shit.
"That lipstick was NOT my shade!"
And that's just HIS side.
"We'd like to keep this dignified and issue-oriented, unlike all those goddam times you claimed to be 'working late' at the office."
Moderator: Mark, when did you stop beating your wife?
I knew this shit would happen — see, first we let jackasses propose on the fuckin' jumbotron at halftime, and now some nitfuck's divorce is gonna be played out in public as a political campaign. I can't believe Gitmo's stuffed full of innocent Afghan farmers and this moron runs free.
WHATTA SCHLEMIEL
too easy?
Schlemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated.
Oh – and why do all Republican candidates look like the sleaziest used-car salesmen ever?
Because they are?
Especially Vern Buchanan.
But just think, the makeup sex will be extra-hot.
Yeah, I'm seeing The Burning Bed in my head already.
Imma think this story will somehow become "Michelle starves own children"
Schimel? More like schlemiel.
Oedipus! Phone your mother!
Oedipus Wreck.
He'll be forced to drop out of the campaign when she reveals the laundry-day horror of skidmarks in his skivvies.
"My ex can blow smoke out of his ass, I know because I've seen the nicotine stains in his underwear."
Did anyone else notice that the guy's mother is calling him crazy?
I mean, that right there is not exactly a ringing endorsement for a GOP candidate: his own mother hates his guts!
Got Newt Speaker of the House.
I noticed that.
His mother has a point, too: Michelle racked up 58% of the vote in 2010, even while the GOP was retaking the state senate.
♪♫ U-G-L-Y you ain't got no alibi you ugly
Yo' mama says you ugly – you ugly! ♪♫
This whole thing spells c-l-a-s-s.
IN A DONALD TRUMP KIND OF WAY!!!!
Well, he's still got Apple Pie and Baseball…
"we want this to be a very dignified, issue-oriented campaign,” Moroney said …
Which is why he carefully spelled out his detailed policy positions–with a key, on the hood of his ex-wife's SUV.
Just an observation, but for a couple that divorced after 32 years of marriage, they're both looking pretty good.
Hm, 54, separated, lives near by, kinda cute…
Pardon me folks, but I have to do a little, errrr, opposition research. If you know what I mean…and I think you do…
BUT—kids, possibly crazy ex. Better think about it…
Possibly crazy ex's just make the sex hotter…but kids, I'd better look into that.
I mean, you know, if the daughter's of age and hot…could be threesome possibilities…
Sirs: I never thought these campaigns were true, but I had an experience a few days ago which changed my mind…
The real story is that a Democrat managed to stay married to a Republican for 32 years. The horror! The woman is a saint.
I only lasted 10.
Baconz, you were married to a republican? You poor dear.
A very write wing one to boot.
Dude, you're own mom isn't even gonna vote for you. Douche.
Just in time for Mother's day.
Are you sure this is real or just some viral marketing stunt for a rom-com movie coming out this summer?
NEEDZ MOAR MEG RYAN!!!!!!!!
With Tom Hanks as what – her campaign manager? Ooh – we can get Dennis Quaid to play the ex-hub. This is gold, baby!
If it's real, option the story – I'll get started on the script. We're talking big rom-com movie of the year here!
Have your people call my people. We'll do lunch.
PARKS AND RECREATION LIBEL!!!!!
Sounds like he has a great relationship with his mom too.
He might have a chance if he argues that Cambodians rode dinosaurs and spends a lot of time "researching" gay sexual habits.
That restraining order is gonna make it hard to schedule a debate.
Hubby to wife: look what you made me do.
GOP family values at its finest…
Get a brain, Moroneys!
Ultimately, the real victim here is Sarah Palin, and I think it's only fair to call on President Obama to resign.
What blog-readers really want to talk about is jobs and the economy.
Am I losing my mind, or are you posting this on every thread. It's funny every time.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Sorry, Dok, my mistake.
Ok, NOW I got you!
What?
You know what this story needs? A graphic organizer.
Or an amusing photograph of a cat. You can never go wrong with amusing cat photos.
Eh. It's Lon Giland…. no fucker really cares.
Let them duke it out in public, it might get on the We network as a reality show in the autumn.
Momma Schimel essentially tells the press her son is a schmuck. I hate to think of what Apple Pie thinks of him.
I'm curious to know who the family dog runs to.
I smell Fox sitcom!
Sanctity!
Just another example of how traditional marriage is ruining America.
Mark Schimel opening campaign speech:
"While I am willing to concede the heartless bitch support to my opponent, I do think the people of this fine area would want to know my opponents position on not given blow jobs after marriage!"
The rebuttal campaign ad practically writes itself: "Impotence"
Damn, this election is turning into Game of Thrones, only with less sexposition. Probably a good thing.
We're missing vital parts of this news story: did he leave his wife for a much younger woman or for a closeted GOP colleague?
This will end well.
Cause when I hear the word "classy," Long Island is the first place that springs to mind.
Ms Schoenkoff we expect you to troll the news for Wonkette posts not the press releases for the new comedy sit-coms on CBS.
Wasn't this an episode of "Modern Family"?
Republicans and class aren't even in the same solar system.
The make up sex will be epic.
This guy strikes me as someone operarting outside the confines of legal counsel (along with rationality, respect for one's children, sanity, respece for one's children….did I say sanity?).
Also, this sounds like something Karl Rove would conceive….
Oh, god! Mom knows how to cut a bitch. lol
Parsing those block quotes, it makes it appear that the New York Daily News used the term "lesbionic," which would be unspeakably cool if true, but I suspect that might be a formatting error.
No doubt Mark will take his cue from SNL and open the first debate with: "Michelle, you ignorant slut…."
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