major leagues

Obama Did A Swear (Video)

Kiss Joe Biden with that mouth?

How has Barack Nobama Disgraced The Office Of The Presidency today? Did he a) put his feet up on his desk; b) fly in his plane; c) campaign; d) take his shirt off at the beach; or e) do a swear? HE DID A SWEAR!

Except he didn’t even do a whole swear? He just let it maybe trail off, or else this HuffPo video is so bad you cannot hear a thing anyway? Man, talk about being unable to commit. Hey Obama, why don’t you tell those Barnard graduates to go fuck themselves, like a Jesus would have, for freedom?



[HuffPo]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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  • nounverb911

    The last time Obama did a swear, Chief Justice Roberts had to come to the White House to do it over.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    This is fucking huge.

    • Dumbedup

      No doubt, a big fucking deal.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Fuckin' A!

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      At least he isn't a major league asshole.

      • valgal2342

        The shirtless shot was worth the click.

  • Barb

    They should fire the person who snuck the swear word onto the teleprompter.

    • nounverb911

      Biden?

    • OneDollarJuana

      You mean, like "government nig…"?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Ann_ObeyMe_Money

        EXACTLY! That's EXACTLY how offensively offensivacious it was!

    • teebob2000

      "Go fuck yourself, San Diego."

  • iburl

    What did he grab. I'm assuming it was either a 5.25" floppy disk carrier, or a copy of the muslin constitution.

  • nounverb911

    Mittens should have dropped the "F" bomb at Teabagger Liberty U Saturday.

    • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

      Yeah, I agree. It sounded awkward when Mittens opened by saying, "So is Jerry Falwell still making love to his mother in heaven's outhouse?"

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I'm sure he was going to say "I've got to get my sh…ield and my spear for the Mau-Mau dance tonight."

  • IncenseDebate

    He was going to say shhh..ria honorary law degree!!

    • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      "SHiny new medallion." I'm sure.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Ann_ObeyMe_Money

      Shhhoulder to the wheel.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Ann_ObeyMe_Money

      Shhhirt changed.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Ya know, I think we need a President that swears. I'm fine with it. At least when Obama speaks I don't want to fuckin' blow my brains out (like I wanted to when W spoke).

    "I survived the eary oughts!"

  • Goonemeritus

    If only Obama could follow the example set by his illustrious predecessors like Nixon and LBJ.

    • nounverb911

      Bo needs bigger ears then.

    • SorosBot

      [Expletive deleted].

      • PuckStopsHere

        How many even know what [Expletive deleted] even means? Seems like only yesterday to me, though. Good times…

      • emmelemm

        Yeah, didn't we just have this discussion? NO POSTS ON HARMING ANIMALS. Kthxbye.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Ann_ObeyMe_Money

      Fuck, yeah.

    • Chichikovovich

      When the President does it, that means it's not profanity.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        That would be wrong, that's for sure!

      • bikerlaureate

        Pitch-perfect pith, there.

  • Sir_Fartz_Alot

    gotta play the tape backwards to hear the real soshalist message.

  • Amanwithnoplan

    NOT ONLY THAT *ALL CAPS* THAT PACKAGE CONTAINED SPECIAL GAY-MARRYING CONDOMS AND THE NUCLEAR "FOOTBALL" LAUNCH CODES THE US OF A NEARLY DESTROYED TWO DIFFERENT WAYS.

  • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

    It's all Kenyan to me.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I wish he would swear more. I grew up in a foul-mouthed, swear-filled military household, and it makes me comfortable.

    • Steverino247

      Time for your afternoon nap, you little bastard!

      (*Sniff* I miss my Dad")

  • http://www.wonkette.com Chill-A-Sketch

    I bet Barry's wallet says "Bad Motherfucker."

    • Serolf_Divad

      Bet Romney's keychain says "Pussywagon."

    • Steverino247

      My sister gave me one of those a few years back. A big glass beer stein, too.

    • Katydid

      Shut your mouth!

  • BarackMyWorld
  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    "I've got to get my sh—INOLA, so I know what the difference is!"

    • BaldarTFlagass

      He's gonna go all Pesci and get his fucking sh…ine box.

  • MissTaken

    Just like gay marriage, Obama let Biden float the swear balloon first and then decided that he too was okay with cussing like a sailor.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Nice!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Proving once again, a vice president is worth more than a bucket of warm spit.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    It'd be real cool if he would go all Tourette's when he does the SOTU or even a press conference.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Especially when the FUCKING FOX reporter asks a FUCKING inane FUCKING question.

      Now where's my motherfucking ice tea?

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Maybe he should have spelled it out like that nice lady last week: S-H-I-T.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Ann_ObeyMe_Money

      Oh Jesus shit a fucking brick.

  • Baconzgood

    Who fucking gives a fuck.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Fuckers, that's fucking who.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Fuck 'em, fucking fuckers.

        • PuckStopsHere

          Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck. (I am glad I got that off my chest, thank you.)

        • PuckStopsHere

          I want these motherfucking snakes of my motherfucking plane. Also.

        • Stevola

          In the skulls. Fuck.

    • bagofmice

      Suppose I accidentally got my sh… Together. Would I get a medal? –MC 900 foot Jesus.

  • ElPinche

    At closer analysis, he said "I gotta get my shit-eating, cock sucking motherfucking SHIELD. Fuck America, I want to move back to Kenya. I hate Reagan and Lincoln can eat my choad." And you should have heard what he whispered to those graduates.

  • SoBeach

    Can you imagine Romney saying something like that? Neither can I. That's one of the reasons Romney's going to get creamed in November.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      He's not a man I'd want to have a fucking beer with

      • sullivanst

        Just as well, with that whole teetotalism thing in Mormonism.

        He might conceivably be a man I'd want to beer-glass, though.

    • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

      Actually, I can't imagine Obama saying something like that. Honestly, does anybody think he turned to those women behind him and said, "I've got to get my shit." Or that he started to say it, or thought it, or anything else? He's not Samuel Fucking Jackson, for chrissake. I'm pretty sure he said, "I've got to get my…" and then held up the thing he had to get to finish the sentence, and that weird "sssss" sound was just some random audio pick up.

      I mean, come on. Yeah, it would be kind of cool if he did, but that would be very un-Obama.

  • CommieLibunatic

    DRUDGE SIREN BEEOOOWEEOO DRUDGE SIREN BEEOOOWEEOO DRUDGE SIREN BEEOOOWEEOO DRUDGE SIREN BEEOOOWEEOO DRUDGE SIREN BEEOOOWEEOO

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Drudge c'est de la merde, une bleue-lied spéciale.

    • anniegetyerfun

      I'm not sure exactly why, but this made me laugh harder than anything else today.

  • Lucidamente1

    Well, what do you expect from a bl..aaaah.. president?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Maybe he and Boehner should have "swear jars." Obama swears, he has to put a billion dollars in it for another F-35. Boehner swears, and he puts in a billion for meals on wheels and child health insurance.

    • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

      Hmmmm…How can we make Boehner stub his toe all the time? IT'S FOR THE KIDS

    • http://parterre.com La_Cieca

      In that case, I would encourage the President to paraphrase Tallulah Bankhead's celebrated retort to Loretta Young, and demand, "So, John, how much will it cost me to tell you to go fuck yourself?"

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Doesn't he mean Allah [Don't] Bless the United States of Infidels?

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    Why is he having to do this menial work? Collecting things, dusting out the lectern… doesn't he have people?

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    From the rest of the speech:

    Shiiiiit, maaaaan. That honky muf' be messin' mah old lady… got to be runnin' cold upside down his head, you know?
    Hey home', I can dig it. Know ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap up on you, man!
    I say hey, sky… subba say I wan' see pray to J I did the same ol' same ol'!
    Hey… knock a self a pro, Slick! That gray matter backlot perform us DOWN, I take TCB-in', man!
    Hey, you know what they say: see a broad to get dat booty yak 'em…
    leg 'er down a smack 'em yak 'em!
    COL' got to be! Y'know? Shiiiiit.

    • SoBeach

      Excuse me stewardess, I speak jive…

    • PuckStopsHere

      Captain Stryker's performance was exceptional.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Yeah, his degree from Columbia was in 1970s Pseudo-Ebonics. Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker were his faculty advisors.

  • SayItWithWookies

    That doesn't even count — the man's a fucking saint. If I were president, there wouldn't be a speech I gave that didn't start with "Jesus fucking Christ what the hell is the matter with you motherfuckers?"

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Ann_ObeyMe_Money

      Every time he has to deal with one more TANTRUM from these saggy-assed ancient choadsuckers, and he doesn't rip their collective jugular with his teeth, I edge nervously close to a fucking stroke. Some days I'm not allowed to check the news after a certain time, yaknow?

    • moar_plz

      What I wouldn't give to see Bammerz stumble right past the gladhanding line at the SOTU with a pint of whiskey in a paper bag, then grab the mic off the podium and start his speech with that line.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I'm actually pretty sure what he was going to say was "I've got to get my sheet music together, because we are going to have a fabulous celebration of gay marriage tonight at the White House."

  • SoBeach

    The more Obama looks like he's relaxed and having fun doing his job the crazier the wingnuts get.

    • ElPinche

      Yeah, I love it, and I'm sure he gets it. I'm expecting him to start wearing hawaiian shirts and sipping on pina coladas at press conferences. "Hold on yall *slurrrrpp*. Ahhh! Where was I …oh yeah, jobs. They're coming yall."

      • SoBeach

        That would bring a lovely shade of purple to the faces of the perpetually outraged, humorless, tea-twits.

      • vodkamuppet

        Hawaiian shirts, a bathrobe and flip flops would be the greatest troll ever.

        • tessiee

          A t-shirt, flip-flops, and JAMS!

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Have we forgotten the sarongs and straw bowlers of his youthful r&b crooner days in the early '80s? He was practically the "Lost DeBarge."

      • emmelemm

        Oh, i love it.

      • tessiee

        "Chill the fuck out. I got this."

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      He's kind of the Anti-Hulk, in that regard!

    • tessiee

      That alone makes it worth doing.

  • hagajim

    What he was really trying to say was that he needs to get his shiites together, or at least WingNut Daily will report it that way.

    • finallyhappy

      I tried to give more thumbs up but this shi—-ny system won't let me

  • MissTaken

    I think he said "I gotta get my shaft because it's Monday and Michelle and I like to make lots of hot, sweaty love on Mondays. We also like to make lots of hot, sweaty love on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. Not Sundays, though, because Sunday is when we make love in the pool so it's hot, but not so sweaty."

    Definitely 'shaft', not 'shit' or 'shield'.

    • SorosBot

      Are you trying to get all of Wonkette all hot and bothered again?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Ann_ObeyMe_Money

        She doesn't have to try.

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          It's a continuous fapfest around here anyway.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        It's just like with the ladies — every time a dude goes "off the market", he's like catnip to the other girls. Now that MissTaken is taken, we're all sniffin' around waitin' for you to mess up!

        Join us again next week for Wonkette Shore™!

    • SayItWithWookies

      Don't be ridiculous — the pool's not open before Memorial Day.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Is there some "Obama Detachable Shaft" novelty that has gotten you all flustered?!

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        I saw it on Second Avenue, near St Marks Place where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street. I saw it lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was trying to sell it.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Ann_ObeyMe_Money

          Michelle would never have let it stray that far by itself. Detachable or no.

        • sullivanst

          Pretty sure I saw it in Central Park

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    With such a long line of Lady Academics waiting to be air-bussed, the Brother almost left iPhone One on the lectern!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Alla phone numbers of all his bitches be all over the place!

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        It's like he shared the sweet, sexual warmth of his ambivalence with all of those department chairs!

      • BaldarTFlagass

        He's the Velvet Jones of DC!

  • Rotundo_

    Mittens would never debase the office in that manner. He would sell us as a lot to the highest bidder and completely destroy what little is left of the middle class and turn us into serfs for the rich folk, but he wouldn't say things like shhh in front of a live mic. Think how much better off we will all be with a polite plutocrat handing us over as chattel to the rich folk for their betterment and entertainment. Well mannered fascism here we come!!!!111!!!ONE!!!!!1!!!

  • MadBrahms

    How uncouth! Why, I do declare, I think I have the vapors.

    • emmelemm

      Pearls, consider them clutched!

  • Fare la Volpe

    I didn't hear fucking jack shit. What an ass-cocking let down, that piss bastard.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Hmph. Sounds like he's just getting around to saying what I've been saying every few minutes when I read the news for the past fifteen years.

  • Poindexter718

    Not "shhhh," but "schhh" as in: "I gotta get my schtick down better if I'm gonna try and take this act to the Catskills this summer."

  • vodkamuppet

    I thought saying shit stopped being a big deal when Dennis Franz said it a hundred years ago on that one cop show. Wait, I get it, Obama never played a teevee cop. That must be it. IMPEACH!!!1!

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Comment deleted by administrator

    • not that Radio

      Awesome!

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

        Blueb4sunrise 105p · 4 minutes ago
        >>Comment deleted by administrator

        Bummer!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Dang, that must have been good. Wear your "comment deleted by administrator" badge with pride.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        It's like flying a skull fucking pirate flag.

    • Blueb4sunrise

      See, now y'all got me wondering if I need to explain the joke.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Ann_ObeyMe_Money

        Well … yeah!

      • HistoriCat

        No no – it's perfect!

        • Blueb4sunrise

          G'wan.

    • ElPinche

      Did Rebecca spank you? Lucky dog.

    • commiegirl

      I DIDN'T DELETE ANYTHING. I do not know what is going on with Intense Debate.

      • sezme

        Hey, Commiegirl, I think you're the sh…Comment deleted by administrator

      • CivicHoliday

        Dear god Intense Debate has finally achieved sentience and can now delete comments and ban users of its own volition. Where's John Connor when you need him?!

    • ttommyunger

      Comment del……AAAARGH!!!!!!

  • rocktonsam

    to Bamz defense, he does get a little profane when he is jonesing for a Camel

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Ann_ObeyMe_Money

      Muslin LIBEL!

      No, wait.

    • tessiee

      So does skoalrebel.

    • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

      Didn't he say recently in an interview something like, "There're days when I'd trade Air Force One for a Marlboro Red."? Maybe I imagined it.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Didn't hear the swear word but he must have promised free abortions for all those women–that's why they were cheering so loudly….since they are probably all sluts.

    • sullivanst

      Well, duh, if they weren't sluts they wouldn't be at college, they'd be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen like good girls.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Those sluts who use birth control, always wantin their damn abortions.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    It's like that time LBJ left his wallet at The Chicken Ranch, and they had to turn Air Force One around because of "mechanical difficulties" over Arkansas.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    I've got to get my shhhh—-eeep!

    Didn't you people realize the President ALWAYS travels with a pair of every type of animal so in case nucular war breaks out he can be spirited away on ARC-1 to restart civilization at the North Pole presidential lair????

    Shhheezzz!!!!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Noah wasn't. Can you give me more details, please?

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    He was going to start singing "My Sharona" but realized how embarassing that would be for a hip blah man.

  • kakotechnia

    Seriously, they couldn't get a direct feed from the mic? Are they recording from the room? That's an audio hot mess.

  • mavenmaven

    Obama was upset because the Paultard reLOVEution has come to an end http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/05/14/pau

  • Callyson

    Full pronunciation of the entire word or GTFO.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Tsk. More uppity, undignified behavior from our Pretender in Chief. Your move, Boehner.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Did anyone stay on C-Span to watch Sen. McCain (R-Ass) on U.S. engagement in Asia?

  • Steverino247

    "I have to get my" as he held up the device to the people near him. If anybody thinks he said anything else, he or she needs to see an audiologist. Or a psychiatrist.

  • PuglyDoRight

    Sorry, but NOTHING beats Walnuts calling his old lady a c**t in front of reporters.

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Personally, I always like to fucking slather fucking Dijon mustard all over my fucking arugula.

    • tessiee

      No goddamn kidding, motherfucker. Try that shit sauteed over some cocksucking risotto. Christ on a crutch, your son-of-a-bitching tastebuds will shit the bed.

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    Clearly, he had to get his tchotchke.

  • Arken

    IMPEACH!!!!!

  • tessiee

    Point of order:
    It's been a good many years since grade school, but I believe that SAID is for swears and DID is for actions.
    So, it would be "Obama SAID a swear", or "Obama DID a poop", but not "Obama DID a swear".
    PS. If Obama does do a poop, please do not run the video. Thank you.

  • toaster_pastry

    Pshaw. He was clearly saying I've gotta get my SHIV

  • ttommyunger

    He can pronounce "nuclear" so I don't give a fuck.

  • Biff

    So typical of a blah person…