MAJOR LEAGUES  3:13 pm May 14, 2012

Obama Did A Swear (Video)

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Kiss Joe Biden with that mouth?

How has Barack Nobama Disgraced The Office Of The Presidency today? Did he a) put his feet up on his desk; b) fly in his plane; c) campaign; d) take his shirt off at the beach; or e) do a swear? HE DID A SWEAR!

Except he didn’t even do a whole swear? He just let it maybe trail off, or else this HuffPo video is so bad you cannot hear a thing anyway? Man, talk about being unable to commit. Hey Obama, why don’t you tell those Barnard graduates to go fuck themselves, like a Jesus would have, for freedom?



[HuffPo]

 
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{ 154 comments }

nounverb911 May 14, 2012 at 3:16 pm

The last time Obama did a swear, Chief Justice Roberts had to come to the White House to do it over.

BaldarTFlagass May 14, 2012 at 3:17 pm

This is fucking huge.

Dumbedup May 14, 2012 at 3:20 pm

No doubt, a big fucking deal.

actor212 May 14, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Fuckin' A!

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 14, 2012 at 3:35 pm

At least he isn't a major league asshole.

valgal2342 May 14, 2012 at 4:17 pm

The shirtless shot was worth the click.

Barb May 14, 2012 at 3:17 pm

They should fire the person who snuck the swear word onto the teleprompter.

nounverb911 May 14, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Biden?

OneDollarJuana May 14, 2012 at 3:38 pm

You mean, like "government nig…"?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 4:01 pm

EXACTLY! That's EXACTLY how offensively offensivacious it was!

teebob2000 May 14, 2012 at 4:24 pm

"Go fuck yourself, San Diego."

iburl May 14, 2012 at 3:17 pm

What did he grab. I'm assuming it was either a 5.25" floppy disk carrier, or a copy of the muslin constitution.

nounverb911 May 14, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Mittens should have dropped the "F" bomb at Teabagger Liberty U Saturday.

GuyClinch May 14, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Yeah, I agree. It sounded awkward when Mittens opened by saying, "So is Jerry Falwell still making love to his mother in heaven's outhouse?"

BaldarTFlagass May 14, 2012 at 3:18 pm

I'm sure he was going to say "I've got to get my sh…ield and my spear for the Mau-Mau dance tonight."

IncenseDebate May 14, 2012 at 3:18 pm

He was going to say shhh..ria honorary law degree!!

FlownOver May 14, 2012 at 3:58 pm

"SHiny new medallion." I'm sure.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Shhhoulder to the wheel.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Shhhirt changed.

Jus_Wonderin May 14, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Ya know, I think we need a President that swears. I'm fine with it. At least when Obama speaks I don't want to fuckin' blow my brains out (like I wanted to when W spoke).

"I survived the eary oughts!"

Goonemeritus May 14, 2012 at 3:19 pm

If only Obama could follow the example set by his illustrious predecessors like Nixon and LBJ.

nounverb911 May 14, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Bo needs bigger ears then.

SorosBot May 14, 2012 at 3:38 pm

[Expletive deleted].

PuckStopsHere May 14, 2012 at 3:55 pm

How many even know what [Expletive deleted] even means? Seems like only yesterday to me, though. Good times…

emmelemm May 14, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Yeah, didn't we just have this discussion? NO POSTS ON HARMING ANIMALS. Kthxbye.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Fuck, yeah.

Chichikovovich May 14, 2012 at 4:13 pm

When the President does it, that means it's not profanity.

Chet Kincaid May 14, 2012 at 4:38 pm

That would be wrong, that's for sure!

bikerlaureate May 14, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Pitch-perfect pith, there.

Sir_Fartz_Alot May 14, 2012 at 3:19 pm

gotta play the tape backwards to hear the real soshalist message.

Amanwithnoplan May 14, 2012 at 3:20 pm

NOT ONLY THAT *ALL CAPS* THAT PACKAGE CONTAINED SPECIAL GAY-MARRYING CONDOMS AND THE NUCLEAR "FOOTBALL" LAUNCH CODES THE US OF A NEARLY DESTROYED TWO DIFFERENT WAYS.

GuyClinch May 14, 2012 at 3:20 pm

It's all Kenyan to me.

BaldarTFlagass May 14, 2012 at 3:20 pm

I wish he would swear more. I grew up in a foul-mouthed, swear-filled military household, and it makes me comfortable.

Steverino247 May 14, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Time for your afternoon nap, you little bastard!

(*Sniff* I miss my Dad")

Chill-A-Sketch May 14, 2012 at 3:23 pm

I bet Barry's wallet says "Bad Motherfucker."

Serolf_Divad May 14, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Bet Romney's keychain says "Pussywagon."

Steverino247 May 14, 2012 at 4:07 pm

My sister gave me one of those a few years back. A big glass beer stein, too.

Katydid May 14, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Shut your mouth!

BarackMyWorld May 14, 2012 at 3:23 pm
actor212 May 14, 2012 at 3:23 pm

"I've got to get my sh—INOLA, so I know what the difference is!"

BaldarTFlagass May 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm

He's gonna go all Pesci and get his fucking sh…ine box.

MissTaken May 14, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Just like gay marriage, Obama let Biden float the swear balloon first and then decided that he too was okay with cussing like a sailor.

Chet Kincaid May 14, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Nice!

Lascauxcaveman May 14, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Proving once again, a vice president is worth more than a bucket of warm spit.

BaldarTFlagass May 14, 2012 at 3:24 pm

It'd be real cool if he would go all Tourette's when he does the SOTU or even a press conference.

actor212 May 14, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Especially when the FUCKING FOX reporter asks a FUCKING inane FUCKING question.

Now where's my motherfucking ice tea?

actor212 May 14, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Maybe he should have spelled it out like that nice lady last week: S-H-I-T.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Oh Jesus shit a fucking brick.

Baconzgood May 14, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Who fucking gives a fuck.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 14, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Fuckers, that's fucking who.

actor212 May 14, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Fuck 'em, fucking fuckers.

PuckStopsHere May 14, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck. (I am glad I got that off my chest, thank you.)

PuckStopsHere May 14, 2012 at 3:58 pm

I want these motherfucking snakes of my motherfucking plane. Also.

Stevola May 15, 2012 at 1:22 am

In the skulls. Fuck.

bagofmice May 14, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Suppose I accidentally got my sh… Together. Would I get a medal? –MC 900 foot Jesus.

ElPinche May 14, 2012 at 3:25 pm

At closer analysis, he said "I gotta get my shit-eating, cock sucking motherfucking SHIELD. Fuck America, I want to move back to Kenya. I hate Reagan and Lincoln can eat my choad." And you should have heard what he whispered to those graduates.

SoBeach May 14, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Can you imagine Romney saying something like that? Neither can I. That's one of the reasons Romney's going to get creamed in November.

actor212 May 14, 2012 at 3:27 pm

He's not a man I'd want to have a fucking beer with

sullivanst May 14, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Just as well, with that whole teetotalism thing in Mormonism.

He might conceivably be a man I'd want to beer-glass, though.

MaxUdargo May 14, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Actually, I can't imagine Obama saying something like that. Honestly, does anybody think he turned to those women behind him and said, "I've got to get my shit." Or that he started to say it, or thought it, or anything else? He's not Samuel Fucking Jackson, for chrissake. I'm pretty sure he said, "I've got to get my…" and then held up the thing he had to get to finish the sentence, and that weird "sssss" sound was just some random audio pick up.

I mean, come on. Yeah, it would be kind of cool if he did, but that would be very un-Obama.

CommieLibunatic May 14, 2012 at 3:26 pm

DRUDGE SIREN BEEOOOWEEOO DRUDGE SIREN BEEOOOWEEOO DRUDGE SIREN BEEOOOWEEOO DRUDGE SIREN BEEOOOWEEOO DRUDGE SIREN BEEOOOWEEOO

weejee May 14, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Drudge c'est de la merde, une bleue-lied spéciale.

anniegetyerfun May 14, 2012 at 9:55 pm

I'm not sure exactly why, but this made me laugh harder than anything else today.

Lucidamente1 May 14, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Well, what do you expect from a bl..aaaah.. president?

BaldarTFlagass May 14, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Maybe he and Boehner should have "swear jars." Obama swears, he has to put a billion dollars in it for another F-35. Boehner swears, and he puts in a billion for meals on wheels and child health insurance.

GuyClinch May 14, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Hmmmm…How can we make Boehner stub his toe all the time? IT'S FOR THE KIDS

La_Cieca May 14, 2012 at 3:39 pm

In that case, I would encourage the President to paraphrase Tallulah Bankhead's celebrated retort to Loretta Young, and demand, "So, John, how much will it cost me to tell you to go fuck yourself?"

NorthStarSpanx May 14, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Doesn't he mean Allah [Don't] Bless the United States of Infidels?

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ May 14, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Why is he having to do this menial work? Collecting things, dusting out the lectern… doesn't he have people?

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 14, 2012 at 3:29 pm

From the rest of the speech:

Shiiiiit, maaaaan. That honky muf' be messin' mah old lady… got to be runnin' cold upside down his head, you know?
Hey home', I can dig it. Know ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap up on you, man!
I say hey, sky… subba say I wan' see pray to J I did the same ol' same ol'!
Hey… knock a self a pro, Slick! That gray matter backlot perform us DOWN, I take TCB-in', man!
Hey, you know what they say: see a broad to get dat booty yak 'em…
leg 'er down a smack 'em yak 'em!
COL' got to be! Y'know? Shiiiiit.

SoBeach May 14, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Excuse me stewardess, I speak jive…

HistoriCat May 14, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Sometimes you need a translator …

Chump don't want no help, chump don't get no help!

PuckStopsHere May 14, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Captain Stryker's performance was exceptional.

Chet Kincaid May 14, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Yeah, his degree from Columbia was in 1970s Pseudo-Ebonics. Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker were his faculty advisors.

SayItWithWookies May 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm

That doesn't even count — the man's a fucking saint. If I were president, there wouldn't be a speech I gave that didn't start with "Jesus fucking Christ what the hell is the matter with you motherfuckers?"

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Every time he has to deal with one more TANTRUM from these saggy-assed ancient choadsuckers, and he doesn't rip their collective jugular with his teeth, I edge nervously close to a fucking stroke. Some days I'm not allowed to check the news after a certain time, yaknow?

moar_plz May 14, 2012 at 6:41 pm

What I wouldn't give to see Bammerz stumble right past the gladhanding line at the SOTU with a pint of whiskey in a paper bag, then grab the mic off the podium and start his speech with that line.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 14, 2012 at 3:33 pm

I'm actually pretty sure what he was going to say was "I've got to get my sheet music together, because we are going to have a fabulous celebration of gay marriage tonight at the White House."

SoBeach May 14, 2012 at 3:33 pm

The more Obama looks like he's relaxed and having fun doing his job the crazier the wingnuts get.

ElPinche May 14, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Yeah, I love it, and I'm sure he gets it. I'm expecting him to start wearing hawaiian shirts and sipping on pina coladas at press conferences. "Hold on yall *slurrrrpp*. Ahhh! Where was I …oh yeah, jobs. They're coming yall."

SoBeach May 14, 2012 at 3:53 pm

That would bring a lovely shade of purple to the faces of the perpetually outraged, humorless, tea-twits.

vodkamuppet May 14, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Hawaiian shirts, a bathrobe and flip flops would be the greatest troll ever.

tessiee May 14, 2012 at 10:11 pm

A t-shirt, flip-flops, and JAMS!

Chet Kincaid May 14, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Have we forgotten the sarongs and straw bowlers of his youthful r&b crooner days in the early '80s? He was practically the "Lost DeBarge."

emmelemm May 14, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Oh, i love it.

tessiee May 14, 2012 at 10:11 pm

"Chill the fuck out. I got this."

Chet Kincaid May 14, 2012 at 3:57 pm

He's kind of the Anti-Hulk, in that regard!

tessiee May 14, 2012 at 10:10 pm

That alone makes it worth doing.

hagajim May 14, 2012 at 3:33 pm

What he was really trying to say was that he needs to get his shiites together, or at least WingNut Daily will report it that way.

finallyhappy May 14, 2012 at 8:11 pm

I tried to give more thumbs up but this shi—-ny system won't let me

MissTaken May 14, 2012 at 3:34 pm

I think he said "I gotta get my shaft because it's Monday and Michelle and I like to make lots of hot, sweaty love on Mondays. We also like to make lots of hot, sweaty love on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. Not Sundays, though, because Sunday is when we make love in the pool so it's hot, but not so sweaty."

Definitely 'shaft', not 'shit' or 'shield'.

SorosBot May 14, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Are you trying to get all of Wonkette all hot and bothered again?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 4:10 pm

She doesn't have to try.

starfanglednut May 14, 2012 at 4:18 pm

It's a continuous fapfest around here anyway.

Chet Kincaid May 14, 2012 at 4:43 pm

It's just like with the ladies — every time a dude goes "off the market", he's like catnip to the other girls. Now that MissTaken is taken, we're all sniffin' around waitin' for you to mess up!

Join us again next week for Wonkette Shore™!

SayItWithWookies May 14, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Don't be ridiculous — the pool's not open before Memorial Day.

Chet Kincaid May 14, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Is there some "Obama Detachable Shaft" novelty that has gotten you all flustered?!

actor212 May 14, 2012 at 3:53 pm

I saw it on Second Avenue, near St Marks Place where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street. I saw it lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was trying to sell it.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Michelle would never have let it stray that far by itself. Detachable or no.

sullivanst May 14, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Pretty sure I saw it in Central Park

Chet Kincaid May 14, 2012 at 3:36 pm

With such a long line of Lady Academics waiting to be air-bussed, the Brother almost left iPhone One on the lectern!

actor212 May 14, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Alla phone numbers of all his bitches be all over the place!

Chet Kincaid May 14, 2012 at 3:51 pm

It's like he shared the sweet, sexual warmth of his ambivalence with all of those department chairs!

BaldarTFlagass May 14, 2012 at 3:54 pm

He's the Velvet Jones of DC!

Rotundo_ May 14, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Mittens would never debase the office in that manner. He would sell us as a lot to the highest bidder and completely destroy what little is left of the middle class and turn us into serfs for the rich folk, but he wouldn't say things like shhh in front of a live mic. Think how much better off we will all be with a polite plutocrat handing us over as chattel to the rich folk for their betterment and entertainment. Well mannered fascism here we come!!!!111!!!ONE!!!!!1!!!

MadBrahms May 14, 2012 at 3:41 pm

How uncouth! Why, I do declare, I think I have the vapors.

emmelemm May 14, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Pearls, consider them clutched!

Fare la Volpe May 14, 2012 at 3:42 pm

I didn't hear fucking jack shit. What an ass-cocking let down, that piss bastard.

randcoolcatdaddy May 14, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Hmph. Sounds like he's just getting around to saying what I've been saying every few minutes when I read the news for the past fifteen years.

Poindexter718 May 14, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Not "shhhh," but "schhh" as in: "I gotta get my schtick down better if I'm gonna try and take this act to the Catskills this summer."

vodkamuppet May 14, 2012 at 3:43 pm

I thought saying shit stopped being a big deal when Dennis Franz said it a hundred years ago on that one cop show. Wait, I get it, Obama never played a teevee cop. That must be it. IMPEACH!!!1!

Blueb4sunrise May 14, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Comment deleted by administrator

not that Radio May 14, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Awesome!

Mumbletypeg May 14, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Blueb4sunrise 105p · 4 minutes ago
>>Comment deleted by administrator

Bummer!

BaldarTFlagass May 14, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Dang, that must have been good. Wear your "comment deleted by administrator" badge with pride.

actor212 May 14, 2012 at 4:00 pm

It's like flying a skull fucking pirate flag.

Blueb4sunrise May 14, 2012 at 4:01 pm

See, now y'all got me wondering if I need to explain the joke.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Well … yeah!

HistoriCat May 14, 2012 at 4:20 pm

No no – it's perfect!

Blueb4sunrise May 14, 2012 at 4:23 pm

G'wan.

ElPinche May 14, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Did Rebecca spank you? Lucky dog.

commiegirl May 14, 2012 at 6:22 pm

I DIDN'T DELETE ANYTHING. I do not know what is going on with Intense Debate.

sezme May 14, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Hey, Commiegirl, I think you're the sh…Comment deleted by administrator

CivicHoliday May 15, 2012 at 9:12 am

Dear god Intense Debate has finally achieved sentience and can now delete comments and ban users of its own volition. Where's John Connor when you need him?!

ttommyunger May 15, 2012 at 8:49 am

Comment del……AAAARGH!!!!!!

rocktonsam May 14, 2012 at 3:45 pm

to Bamz defense, he does get a little profane when he is jonesing for a Camel

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 14, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Muslin LIBEL!

No, wait.

tessiee May 14, 2012 at 10:13 pm

So does skoalrebel.

MilwaukeeKent May 14, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Didn't he say recently in an interview something like, "There're days when I'd trade Air Force One for a Marlboro Red."? Maybe I imagined it.

Texan_Bulldog May 14, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Didn't hear the swear word but he must have promised free abortions for all those women–that's why they were cheering so loudly….since they are probably all sluts.

sullivanst May 14, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Well, duh, if they weren't sluts they wouldn't be at college, they'd be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen like good girls.

starfanglednut May 14, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Those sluts who use birth control, always wantin their damn abortions.

Chet Kincaid May 14, 2012 at 3:46 pm

It's like that time LBJ left his wallet at The Chicken Ranch, and they had to turn Air Force One around because of "mechanical difficulties" over Arkansas.

johnnyzhivago May 14, 2012 at 3:46 pm

I've got to get my shhhh—-eeep!

Didn't you people realize the President ALWAYS travels with a pair of every type of animal so in case nucular war breaks out he can be spirited away on ARC-1 to restart civilization at the North Pole presidential lair????

Shhheezzz!!!!

actor212 May 14, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Noah wasn't. Can you give me more details, please?

actor212 May 14, 2012 at 3:49 pm

He was going to start singing "My Sharona" but realized how embarassing that would be for a hip blah man.

BaldarTFlagass May 14, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Hey, it worked for Cheech Marin.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNKVWFdhQUQ

actor212 May 14, 2012 at 3:59 pm
tessiee May 14, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Or how embarrassing that would be for anyone.

kakotechnia May 14, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Seriously, they couldn't get a direct feed from the mic? Are they recording from the room? That's an audio hot mess.

mavenmaven May 14, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Obama was upset because the Paultard reLOVEution has come to an end http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/05/14/pau

Callyson May 14, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Full pronunciation of the entire word or GTFO.

elviouslyqueer May 14, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Tsk. More uppity, undignified behavior from our Pretender in Chief. Your move, Boehner.

Blueb4sunrise May 14, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Did anyone stay on C-Span to watch Sen. McCain (R-Ass) on U.S. engagement in Asia?

Steverino247 May 14, 2012 at 4:14 pm

"I have to get my" as he held up the device to the people near him. If anybody thinks he said anything else, he or she needs to see an audiologist. Or a psychiatrist.

PuglyDoRight May 14, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Sorry, but NOTHING beats Walnuts calling his old lady a c**t in front of reporters.

gurukalehuru May 14, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Personally, I always like to fucking slather fucking Dijon mustard all over my fucking arugula.

tessiee May 14, 2012 at 10:31 pm

No goddamn kidding, motherfucker. Try that shit sauteed over some cocksucking risotto. Christ on a crutch, your son-of-a-bitching tastebuds will shit the bed.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 14, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Clearly, he had to get his tchotchke.

Arken May 14, 2012 at 6:17 pm

IMPEACH!!!!!

tessiee May 14, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Point of order:
It's been a good many years since grade school, but I believe that SAID is for swears and DID is for actions.
So, it would be "Obama SAID a swear", or "Obama DID a poop", but not "Obama DID a swear".
PS. If Obama does do a poop, please do not run the video. Thank you.

toaster_pastry May 15, 2012 at 1:56 am

Pshaw. He was clearly saying I've gotta get my SHIV

ttommyunger May 15, 2012 at 8:51 am

He can pronounce "nuclear" so I don't give a fuck.

Biff May 15, 2012 at 3:54 pm

So typical of a blah person…

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