John Derbyshire Wonders: What Should We White Supremacists Call Ourselves Today?

  luntz it up

The Dissident RightDon’t cry too hard for poor John Derbyshire, thrust squalling from “the hushed, oak-paneled, Chambers-of-Commerce-financed precincts of Conservatism Inc., whose entrance is now barred against [him] by an angel with a flaming sword.” He has now settled easily into the loving embrace of Michelle Malkin and VDare, which is among your more-respectable groups of white supremacists. And what is wrong with white supremacy, wonders John Derbyshire? Isn’t it just another corner of conservatism? Indeed! Splain us please?

This isn’t because conservatism is hostile to blacks and mestizos. Very much the contrary, especially in the case of Conservatism Inc. They fawn over the occasional nonwhite with a puppyish deference that fairly fogs the air with embarrassment. (Q: What do you call the one black guy at a gathering of 1,000 Republicans? A: “Mr. Chairman.”)

Oooh, le SNAP!

Anyway, John Derbyshire is wondering what white supremacists should call themselves to better frame their position that those of European ancestry should be in charge of the world, as worked out so well in the Africkan Colonies. He has settled on “Dissident Right,” as opposed to those scared pussies at NRO who make up the Elite GOP Machine. But that sounds fairly Communist to us, and we think we should give him some additional options before he makes his final choice.

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey, the world’s leading questionnaire tool.

[VDare]

Share This
 
Related video

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

243 comments

    1. tcaalaw

      Don't be silly. It's well-established that Mitt Romney is Mexican and thus constitutionally ineligible to be white.

  1. FakaktaSouth

    Cracker is still my personal favorite.

    I just heard someone say "Advanced the Ball on Gay RIghts" on TV and Matt Taibbi snickered. (It may have been Michael Eric Dyson, but I am profiling and believing it was my creepy boyfriend Matt.)

    1. Geminisunmars

      When you’re a Jet,
      You’re a Jet all the way
      From your first cigarette
      To your last dyin’ day.

      Works for me.

    2. SorosBot

      Yeah, but using Broadway showtunes gives off the air of another minority the conservative bigots hate.

    1. Boojum

      You have my vote. It has the benefit of being descriptive and insulting, in a way they will find insulting, as well as having a whimsical air that will drive them even more belligerently insane.

  2. PuckStopsHere

    Hey, where'd ya get the picture of Romney's running mate? Or is that his Cranbrook graduation portrait?

    1. Tundra Grifter

      If Michelle Malkin came out and said she loved sex, I'd have to rethink that whole thing.

    2. MadBrahms

      I'm just impressed our Editrix could get "loving" and "Michelle Malkin" into a sentence together without her head exploding.

    3. Tundra Grifter

      Is it just me, or does Michelle Manikin look remarkably like a blow-up doll?

    1. Wile E. Quixote

      Yeah, speaking of cancers of the mind and body Derbyshire is suffering from cancer right now. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

  3. Chichikovovich

    "We started out with The Crackers. We tried to call ourselves The Honkies. Everybody kind of backed off from that. It was too (pause)…. straight. So we decided just to call ourselves The Band. But that was already done. So we went with `Racist Assholes' "

    — John Derbyshire, The First Rally

    1. actor212

      Derbs sounds like someone who's upset he lost his job over, say, publishing a column that was over the top in its racism.

    1. tessiee

      "It sounds like a cruel joke, but it isn't. The Ku Klux Klan made huge profits selling sheets. The Klan had its own sheet factory in Atlanta, called Gates City Factory, which produced hooded white robes … sold to the racist faithful … Considering that the Klan peaked at *three million* members in 1925, there was a lot of money to be made in worsted white cotton." — Richard Zacks, "An Underground Education", p89.

      [this is a really informative and entertaining book]

    1. sewollef

      How about, bâtard raciste motherfuckers.

      In commemoration of the French cheese grits in all of us.

  4. SexySmurf

    Q: What do you call the one black guy at a gathering of 1,000 Republicans? A: “Mr. Chairman.”

    What do they call him after he leaves the room?

  5. boobookitteh

    I've found 'ignorant shit stains' to be as accurate a name as any.

    In any event, 'Derbyshire' is the kind of cool name that I like to imagine John Houseman drawling, and I think we should repossess it from this shit stain. He can be 'John Santorum' from now on.

  6. SayItWithWookies

    "Mestizos?" Really? Jesus Fuck, Derbyshire — why not mention octoroons, hottentots, pickaninnies and mud people while you're at it?

    1. rickmaci

      Why does Dipshitshire hate America? "Mestizo" is so Mexican. Every patriotic white racist knows to use "wetbacks". Far more Amerikkkan.

      1. CthuNHu

        Wow. I was actually thinking, "Man, octoroons and hottentots would be awesome names for Girl Scout cookies."

        Mud people, not so much.

    2. MadBrahms

      Just many of the fine words for what Derbyshire no doubt refers to as "the darker races"

  7. SmutBoffin

    The Melanin Police?
    The John Derbyshire Project?
    The Krazy Kracker Klan for Kidz (KKKK)? (Ks ARE FUNNY)
    Captain McHateJews and the Plantation Overseers?

    1. MadBrahms

      John Derbyshire Project, would not see that band.

      Melanin Police, on the other hand…

      1. HistoriCat

        Melanin Police were good on their first two albums but I'm sure you're more familiar with their later work

  8. BaldarTFlagass

    "White supremacy, in the sense of a society in which key decisions are made by white Europeans, is one of the better arrangements History has come up with."

    I'm sure Ms Malkin's ancestors would agree, 110%!!!

    1. sullivanst

      Had he completed his thought, he might possibly have had a point:

      White supremacy, in the sense of a society in which key decisions are made by white Europeans, is one of the better arrangements History has come up with for white Europeans

      Sucks a lot if you're one of the colonialized. I mean, there's a reason we're not still subjects of the Crown, and Washington & friends were all white.

      1. MadBrahms

        Uprisings are acceptable only when they're about things like taxes on tea and tarriffs, not systematized racial discrimination and violent oppression. Duh.

        1. sullivanst

          Yeah, if only there were some way of educating the DERP crowd about the British East India Company and the reasons it was hated the world over…

    2. Guppy

      It's like the Philippines didn't like trading in Spanish oppressors for American oppressors or something.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Especially being Christianized, considering the Spanish brought the Papacy with them.

  9. DonnyKerabotsos

    …also, dissident right is not the preferred nomenclature. Asshole American, please.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      this is not a guy who killed a bunch of Indians in order to build the railroads, here…

  10. SoBeach

    Blatant racists like Derbyshire are an embarrassment to the republican party. It's like they flat out refuse to stick with the approved code words and insist on publicly expressing ideas best conveyed with a republican wink and a nod. Very uncouth.

    1. tessiee

      Skanky girls, Beach, they're skanky girls. The rich boys need them, they want to use them, they just don't want to be seen with them in the daytime.

      1. tessiee

        What do you suppose they call *her* when she leaves the room? If she weren't such a thoroughly unacceptable human being, I'd actually pity her.

  11. BaldarTFlagass

    This post reminds me, I was digging through the closet this weekend and found my old University of Northern Colorado Fightin' Whiteys T-shirt. "Everything's Gonna Be All White!!"

  12. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    The he-man n*gger haters club. Throw in jews, wetbacks, rag heads, chicks and fags just to be sure.

  13. BlueStateLibel

    How about the ALL CAPS, since that's typically their preferred style of writing?

  14. SayItWithWookies

    Them what forgot they was mixed-race trash when they got off the goddamn boat.

  15. widestanceromance

    Aww, sheee-it, call us anything ya'll want, just don't call us late for hangins and burnins.

    OTOH, Melanin-challenged plays well into their victimization fetish.

  16. Blueb4sunrise

    This is a trick….the answer was right in RS's text:
    …scared pussies at NRO

  17. Slim_Pickins

    Wait! Michelle Malkin is white? I'll bet she also considers herself to be a blonde.

  18. OneDollarJuana

    The South lost the War Between then States. Let's call them "losers". Even if they're from the North.

    Losers.

  19. Not_So_Much

    I couldn't vote 'No Fat Chicks' because, c'mon, republican dudes? With chicks?

  20. V572 Is this him?

    "This isn’t because conservatism is hostile to blacks and mestizos."

    He forgot Chinamen, Hebrews, creoles, and octaroons.

    And kudos to Rebecca on the surhead.

      1. V572 Is this him?

        It is possible to be hostile to someone you're married to, in my experience.

        1. LesBontemps

          Possible? Pretty much mandatory, in my experience.

          Marriage is like a card game: you start out with a pair of hearts and end up looking for a club and a spade.

      2. not that Radio

        From the article:

        It's just that conservative ideals like self-sufficiency and minimal dependence on government have no appeal to underperforming minoritie —groups who, in the statistical generality, are short of the attributes that make for group success in a modern commercial nation.

        Of what use would it be to them to embrace such ideals? They would end up even more decisively pooled at the bottom of society than they are currently.

        A much better strategy for them is to ally with as many disaffected white and Asian subgroups as they can (homosexuals, feminists, dead-end labor unions), attain electoral majorities, and institute big redistributionist governments to give them make-work jobs and transfer wealth to them from successful groups.

        Back to that whole "acceptable non-white" thing again.

          1. not that Radio

            I think he means that evil liebruls are trying to peel away constituencies that he thinks rightly belong to Conservatives. The only "races" that "rightly belong to Conservatives" would be whites, and the occasional Asian, who are somehow not as bad as the other non-whites. Hence, he can stomach marrying one of them.

          2. sullivanst

            Good point, well made. And now I realize that yes, I do know who else conferred honorary white status on certain Asians.

  21. LetUsBray

    You know how in the LGBT community there were movements to reclaim words like 'queer' and 'f*****' (reclaimed or not, I'm not touching that one)?

    So why doesn't Dirtyshite try the same for 'idiot asswipe dipshit waste of oxygen'? Let him announce, with pride, "I am an Idiot Asswipe Dipshit Waste Of Oxygen!" Everyone will agree, "You sure are, John. You sure are."

  22. Chet Kincaid

    This isn’t because conservatism is hostile to blacks and mestizos. Very much the contrary, especially in the case of Conservatism Inc. They fawn over the occasional nonwhite with a puppyish deference that fairly fogs the air with embarrassment. (Q: What do you call the one black guy at a gathering of 1,000 Republicans? A: “Mr. Chairman.”)

    Really, Massa Derbyshire? And what is Michelle Malkin's role on Vdare, which the Southern Poverty Law Center has identified as a hate-group site — Hate-Fuck Comfort Woman?

    1. Doktor StrangeZoom

      Chet, don't you see, they're just trying to convince The Blacks to escape the Democrat Plantation, where they are forced to be subservient?

    2. BaldarTFlagass

      "Hate-Fuck Comfort Woman"

      I don't know why, but this makes me smile uncontrollably.

    3. MadBrahms

      Does Derbyshire have any idea what "deference" means? Steele and Prius obviously rule(d) the part with an iron fist. All bend the knee before them.

    4. not that Radio

      More to the point, what is Michael Steele presently doing at a gathering of 1,000 Republicans, and why are they calling him "Mr Chairman"?

  23. anniegetyerfun

    Oh, John. Holding up the occasional black conservative as proof of a lack of racism? Really? It's called tokenism, you dumb fuck, and it doesn't acutaly help your cause in any way.

    1. Chet Kincaid

      His point was that conservatives should be openly and justifiably racist, and not embarass themselves with "ridiculous" acts of tokenism.

          1. anniegetyerfun

            Well, they DO make me wear a helmet all day long, and I get to play with stickers!

    1. MadBrahms

      Sometimes Derbyshire likes to put on a Pith Helmet and play anthropologist. It's all well and good until he starts running around the yard frothing about the white man's burden and how the heat makes men into degenerates.

    1. CrankyLttlCamperette

      This is the second time in a week that someone around me has referenced this sketch (the first time discussing how it could never air today).

  24. rickmaci

    "This isn’t because conservatism is hostile to blacks and mestizos. "

    You need read no further than the last word of that sentence to conclude…racist.

  25. Hera Sent Me

    Michelle Malkin is the real piece of work. An anti-anchor baby anchor baby; a brown-skinned woman who tongue-kisses the white supremacists at VDARE; an advocate for interning people who come from countries with active Islamic terrorists groups whose own parents are from a country with active Islamic terrorist groups.

    Anybody know what the Tagalog word is for "Uncle Tom"?

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      If I recall, and this is only phonetically spelled and from memory, it's "puntongenemo." Oh wait, that means "motherfucker." Carry on, nevermind.

  26. Limeylizzie

    I'm ashamed to claim him, but he is one of my people, so in that vein I'm going with " Wog-hating, Coon-baiting Cunts of Albion".

    1. V572 Is this him?

      There's a clear line of succession from Chaucer to Shakespeare to Blake to Trollope to to Orwell to Derbys….

      Nope. I tried, but couldn't do it, even in jest.

      1. Wile E. Quixote

        Derbyshire played backup kazoo on their album "National Front" which contained the singles "Nazi Punks, Wont' You Take Me Home Tonight?", "Hitler Died for Your Sins You Ungrateful Race Traitor Bastards" and "Stand by Your Klan".

  27. Wile E. Quixote

    Have you ever noticed that the most ardent proponents of white supremacy are also the most inbred looking fuckers around, you know, like John Derbyshire?

  28. Wile E. Quixote

    And yet, despite his claims of the superiority of the white race, John Derbyshire is a rice queen who married a Chinese woman.

  29. Chet Kincaid

    Derbyshire has also announced that he is reviving a classic American restaurant chain as The Brown Derbyshire®. High quality yet affordable meals will be served to decent White American families by hostile Filipina girls in cheerleader outfits.

  30. ElPinche

    Mestizos ? Aww shit. White bread honkey Derbyshire is just cold calling a La Raza race war, now. We'll cut off the food trailers and get all the hipsters on our side , homes.

  31. BaldarTFlagass

    I wonder if Derbyshire got hired at VDare by asking Malkin, "Who's yer daddy?"

  32. ingloriousbytch

    John Derbyshire hasn't been punched in the throat nearly enough for my taste.

  33. mormos

    my puerto rican roommate has just started referring to white people in general as "those without swag"

  34. IceCreamEmpress

    Well, I always call white supremacists "their own best counter-arguments" but I can't imagine La Derb will go for that.

    It's true, though. You don't see Stephen Hawking or Joyce Carol Oates or Scarlett Johansson or Tom Brady or Diana Nyad or any white person who has ever actually accomplished anything other than whining for pay being a white supremacist.

    1. Negropolis

      Scarlett Johansson is a proud Jew, so she wouldn't fit with the white supremacist crowd if she wanted to.

  35. Wile E. Quixote

    Anyway, John Derbyshire is wondering what white supremacists should call themselves to better frame their position that those of European ancestry should be in charge of the world, as worked out so well in the Africkan Colonies. He has settled on “Dissident Right,” as opposed to those scared pussies at NRO who make up the Elite GOP Machine.

    The Klantastics?

  36. not that Radio

    John Derbyshire has begun his second round of chemotherapy since being fired from National Review…

    What would have happened if he had been fired from The Heritage Foundation?

  37. Scarletyoshi

    Let it be known that I chose "Dead Honkeys" for the irony and not for the other reason.

  38. SaintRond

    I try to think of good names but I keep coming back to the same old thing. "The Breakfast Monkeys!" Exclamation point is optional, but I rather like it.

  39. Tommy1733

    I think with his statement "White supremacy, in the sense of a society in which key decisions are made by white Europeans, is one of the better arrangements History has come up with", Derbyshire is really looking at history wrongly. History made no active choice obviously, and the reasons white Europeans gained a leadership foothold earlier have roots that go back thousands of years to the dawn of agriculture. The development of agriculture was an accident of geography – certain cereals that people like and that grow well were available in the same places where proto-Europeans lived. This allowed societies to settle in one place, and allowed people to specialize their skills, which allowed the creation of armies and tool- and weapon-makers, which allowed these societies to defeat others, which etc.

    Derbyshire sounds reasonable in his writing but he and other white supremacists have failed to ask why it is that Europe has been more successful than other societies. They seem to just settle on poorly-defended opinions like "Whites are smarter" and "God wants whites to win". Given that as far as I know the human genetic structure is largely identical (I mean where in the world would it have been an evolutionary advantage for humans and proto-humans to naturally-select weaker brains?) it is scientifically weak to not ask what are the core reasons for one group's success. He keeps thinking of himself as reasonable but he is wrong.

  40. tessiee

    "This isn’t because conservatism is hostile to blacks and mestizos. Very much the contrary, especially in the case of Conservatism Inc. They fawn over the occasional nonwhite with a puppyish deference"

    "…Why, I remember the maid we used to have when I was a child. Maisie, her name was. We just LOVED Maisie. She was just like one of the family. 'Maisie', my mother would say, 'I'm going for my manicure now. Make sure you iron all those shirts for the Mister to wear to work. And after you're done with that, the living room needs to be vacuumed.' And Maisie would say, 'Yes'm, Miss Lady' — you know, the way Those People talk. We just LOVED Maisie. And honest? My parents would leave nickels and dimes hidden around the house, and they'd be right there where they left them after Maisie went home for the day. Sometimes my mother would give her our old clothes, to keep, just out of the goodness of her heart…"

  41. glamourdammerung

    John Derbyshire Wonders: What Should We White Supremacists Call Ourselves Today?

    Republicans. "Conservatives" and "teabaggers" when trying to pretend otherwise.

  42. DahBoner

    Or perhaps The We Like a Little Black Poontang As Much as Everyone Else, But… Gang?

  43. cinesimonj

    I think 'Right Winger' is the most recognizable, accurate & honest name for white supremacists today.

  44. payton

    Know-Nothings. Hey, it was a (surprisingly ironic for the era) righteous badge of honor then, it can be a righteous badge of idiocy today.

  45. Tommy1733

    LOL – I thought after I wrote my little summary of "Guns Germs and Steel" that the polite thing to do would be to credit the source, but then I thought screw it – his name sounds too much like Jamie Dimon.

Comments are closed.