Cackle cackle cackle!Get out your Purple Heart bandages, because it is once again time to remind the American people that The Troops are a bunch of lazy, cowardly, treasonous, unpatriotic, un-American, Kenyan-Socialist-Communist whiners.

If the election were held today, Obama would win the veteran vote by as much as seven points over Romney, higher than his margin in the general population.

The fuck you say! It is almost like soldiers are expressing anger at the toll of a decade of war, questioning the legitimacy of George W. Bush’s Iraq invasion, and worrying that the surge in Afghanistan won’t make a difference in the long run! (And also: don’t really have a hard-on for #WARRING with Iran!)

The GOP’s heated rhetoric, aimed at the party’s traditional hawks, might be expected to resonate with veterans. Yet in interviews in South Carolina, a military-friendly red state, many former soldiers expressed anger at the toll of a decade of war, questioned the legitimacy of George W. Bush’s Iraq invasion, and worried that the surge in Afghanistan won’t make a difference in the long run.

“We looked real cool going into Iraq waving our guns,” said [Master Sgt. Mack] McDowell, 50, who retired from the 82d Airborne Division in November with a Legion of Merit and two Bronze Stars. “But people lost their lives, and it made no sense.”

Now he worries. “I really don’t like the direction we are going, how we seem to come closer daily towards a war with Iran.”

Don’t worry. Tomorrow Mitt Romney will be against going to war with Iran, because. [Reuters]

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  • nounverb911

    The troops do realize that a vote for Romney means a free trip to scenic Iran?

  • Barb

    The troops know that Romney is saying that Russia is our biggest threat. Who really wants to go to war with Russia for no good reason when there are so many other countries to pick imaginary fights with?

    • MrFizzy

      We really should go fuck up Canada – not only would it be totally easy, but our fighting force could come home for the weekends.

      • Sir_Fartz_Alot

        remember the alamo

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Wouldn't the weather be better in Mexico??? The troops could probably take The Pacific Princess and Issac could mix them drinks.

        • MrFizzy

          I'm not accepting any Pina Coladas from Isaac until I see his birth certificate.

      • Biff
        • MrFizzy

          That's really funny – a great testament to Canada that someone would even think of it. Evidently Canadians have better things to do than build weapons and eat biscuits and gravy while complaining about diabetes. Imagine that.

    • freakishlywrong

      Well the "Soviets", freedom, USSR..blah, blah, blah..

    • Chichikovovich

      so many other countries to pick imaginary fights with?

      And even imaginary countries to pick imaginary pick with. USSR, Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia, Dutchy of Grand Fenwick, ….

      And what about the Barbary Pirates? The Founding Fathers™ cared about the Barbary Pirates, and you can be sure Romney will too, unlike The Usurper.

      • not that Radio

        Czechoslovakia? That's like going to Wisconsin.

        • chicken_thief

          Except Czech chicks are hotter and the cheese is better.

          The cheese is, btw, unrelated to the chicks.

          • horsedreamer_1

            In the area of Slav women, Slovenes & Princess Leia are where it's at.

          • doloras

            And beer is 20c a glass.

        • Callyson

          Except that the beer is about 1000 times better. (Unless Wisconsin has some microbreweries that don't export their product across the country…)

    • ElPinche

      I say we bomb the fuck out of an imaginary country like "The Republic of Texas."

      • sewollef

        Yes, what a good idea. How come no one other than ElPinche thought of that, eh?

        But please, please leave Austin out of this…. I've got ACL to go to in October and I'm looking forward to seeing some mighty fine bands.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          And can we do it after football season? My team is probably going to need the easy win over the Cowboys to get to the playoffs this year.

        • You've got bands coming in for your torn ACL surgery?! That's some deluxe health insurance!

          • sewollef

            I wish. But in a strange coincidence I have torn my Cruciate Ligament.

            However, Oxford — my so-called 'insurance' — refused the preliminaries first go round. It took the surgeon's lackey 45 minutes to talk them round to allowing me to have an MRI and x-ray.

            As a European used to universal healthcare, my knee, on hearing the news, went on strike, put up barricades, threw molotov cocktails at the gendarmerie and set fire to the insurance company offices in Union Square.

            That was before it decided to feel much better and postpone the surgery 'til sometime later. A bottle of Nickel & Nickel Cab solved everything else.

        • ElPinche

          Im in Austin, too! We're ok as long as we don't wear their uniforms:

    • mormos

      i for one have no desire to go to war with a country that can actually fight back

    • tessiee

      "Romney is saying that Russia is our biggest threat"


      Because he's stuck in the 50s with all that commie menace bullshit, or because Russia is the only country that's more broke than the US?

  • MrFizzy

    The troops from Halliburton are voting Republican.

    • HateMachine

      Or else they'll be laid off.

    • WhatTheHeck

      Or is that the other way around: the Republicans are voting Haliburton.

  • freakishlywrong

    It probably doesn't hurt that Barry and his hawt wife are genuinely supportive of Military families. And got booed for that effort at a NASCAR race.

    • sewollef

      Huh? They did…. seriously?

      • BerkeleyBear

        Jill Biden and Michelle did get booed, but with the way microphones get set up for NASCAR there's no way to tell if it was most of the crowd or just a few strategically placed assholes.

  • mavenmaven

    The people who make the most ultra-aggressive comments in the name of the troops are the people who never actually were part of the troops.

    • ElPinche

      ..Nor have a son or daughter in harm's way. In Mitten's case, five healthy sons would prefer to battle it out on the polo field.

      • They SERVED US AMERICA! By helping daddy's sad 08 campaign.

      • Biff

        Does any aspect of a dressage horse cross over to a polo pony?

        • Generation[redacted]

          Mitt is against cross dressage. And long hair.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Mittens definitely would've served — it's just unfortunate that he had obligations to his church instead, so he served time in a chateau in France. But it didn't have a pastry chef, so don't think he didn't endure some hardship.

      • Chichikovovich

        He did face the enemy in one engagement while piloting a light-armored personnel vehicle, but all of the casualties were in his unit. Friendly fire.

      • tessiee

        "a chateau in France. But it didn't have a pastry chef"

        *dismissive hand flap*
        The last place I stayed on a vacation had *no bar at poolside*!
        I ask you, what kind of half-assed place doesn't have a bar at poolside?, preferably with a little thatched dealie that looks like a Tiki hut, so you can sip your umbrella drinks in the shade, instead of in the sun like an animal?
        If I'd wanted to "rough it", I would have had my people go camping for me!

    • Puffperney

      I began to notice that at the tender age of 18. That's when I got a free, mandatory tour of S.E. Asia. Since then I've developed a real heartfelt loathing of "chicken hawks", still feeling it today at the age of 63.

  • spends2much

    A vote for Romney will get them all fancy Crusader outfits, as they go off to fight Infidels around the globe, for Jeebus, 12th century style!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I favor our troops over Romney by at least 7 points.

    • Mittens is sad. He's going to Paris for the weekend because of your callous heartless comment directed at his 1%-ness.

  • Reginald_Perrin

    What is wrong with the troops?
    Why aren't they lining up for the glorious opportunity to be posthumously baptized as a Mormon after being killed in Iran?

  • MissTaken

    Why do the troops hate the troops?

    • swordfis


    • Chichikovovich

      Some comments are so perfect in their stilletto simplicity that I can only look on with grateful, speechless awe. This is one.

      • Mittens Howell, III

        Fucking awesome!

    • Negropolis

      That's it. Close this motherfucker down, already. WIN.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I knew this would happen if we repealed Don't Ask Don't Tell.

    • not that Radio

      The troops' position on war has never been gayer!

  • JustPixelz

    Romney's running to be Dubya's third term: more tax cuts (aka bigger deficits), less regulation (aka more dead people from avoidable safety lapses), more war (aka Iran, or maybe an Iraq do over), proving his dick is bigger than his Dad's. Like a said, a third Dubya term.

  • Goonemeritus

    It’s almost like the troops don’t appreciate everything the Republican Party has done for them recently. You would think all the travel to exotic destinations and standing up for pay day loan availability would be appreciated.

    • Sir_Fartz_Alot

      needs less body armor

      • BerkeleyBear

        and insufficiently armored vehicles.

        • MadBrahms

          and less VA funding.

  • freakishlywrong

    Booing an active duty soldier for being gay probably didn't help.

  • SorosBot

    So wait, our troops hate the troops?

    • MissTaken


      I guess your cold medicine hasn't fully kicked in yet :)

      • SorosBot

        It seems our cross-country hive-mind has kicked in again.

      • Or maybe too well

      • Chichikovovich

        You two had better make sure that division of snark is thoroughly covered in any prenups you may sign.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Seems like I'm always going back to delete one of my comments because I find the 'Bot did the same comment, only better, and two minutes previous to mine.

        Nice to know what goes around comes around.

        • BaldarTFlagass

          I don't even bother any more. Still pick up some tangential p.

    • Steverino247

      Quit copying off your girlfriend's paper!

  • Interesting how spending time in combat apparently allows for some feeling of antipathy towards the people who sent you there.

    • MrFizzy

      Including all the voters who put cockwads like Dick Cheney in office.

  • SexySmurf

    In related news, Ron Paul wins the support of veterans who wear three coats and yell at garbage cans.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Since RoPaul's the only truly anti-war candidate out there this time, I would think the normal soldiers would give him more attention, too.

    • MadBrahms

      Thanks to GOP funding for veteran's psych treatment, that's a formidable block!

    • horsedreamer_1

      All of them (from the Vietnam era), Katie?

  • Maybe it's because Obama's trying to bring them home instead of sending them out tour after fucking tour to get shot at.

    PS: I hope that fucking photo haunts that fat ugly bitch with the purple heart bandage forever.

    • I like to imagine that, in 2006, a grandchild or nephew ran off to fight in Iraq, and came back missing an arm or a leg. For the rest of her brief and pathetic days on the planet as she hears from this brave soul about how his lieutenant swooped in and singlehandedly made sure his platoon got back to the forward ops base where they were able to save his life, altho his leg would never be repaired, somewhere deep inside her, a little voice is reminding her that was the story she made sport of in 2004.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Only in the remake the looey is both the ghey and blah – just to triple kill the bitch.

      • Chichikovovich

        No snark. If those events actually had taken place, I guarantee you that she would never, ever, ever make that connection even if people pointed it out to her directly.

  • Oh dear! Well, I mean, I guess you come home from war with the army you have, and not the blindly obediant automatons you want.

    • MadBrahms

      And this, this is why they made Cylons.

  • Ducksworthy

    As a veteran (U.S. Army 1967-1969) I would like to ask, WTF is wrong with the treasonous cowards who dodged the draft while encouraging others to go die. (I'm looking at you Willard.)

    • War is fun when you're a Rear Echelon Motherfucker in the rear with the gear and not when you're neck deep in the shit.*

      *read too many 'Nam histories.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Fucking Willard didn't have the balls to be a REMF – fucking cock sucking pro-war protest supporting "missionary" and "student" and "married" deferment taking shitbird. And the GOP had the balls to say Obama wasn't patriotic since his blah ass didn't volunteer to be in the peacetime army of the 80s (never mind that he actually served in the far more dangerous front of trying to get shit done without political connections on the South Side of Chicago).

    • Hey, it was no bed of roses over there in France. Being a missionary. In France.

      • Sir_Fartz_Alot

        the crusty baguettes and moldy cheez! mon dieu

      • Chichikovovich

        It was tough. One time when he got to the part about "no wine, no coffee, no cigarettes, no extramarital whoopee" he and his adjutant had a door slammed in their faces so fast Mitt got a bump on his noggin.

        And another time, when he was preaching the "Blacks are marked by God as inferior and interracial marriage is a horrible sin" bit, a couple of Senegalese veterans of the Army of Africa happened to be walking by and overheard. Romney and his mini-me hardly made it to their car before a righteous thrashing rained down on them. And Mitt ripped his blue blazer.

      • Negropolis

        I don't know. Being a Mormon in sensual France does sound a bit like torture.

    • Isyaignert

      What's even more disgusting is that when asked why none of his five sons served in the military, he said that their highest and bestest use was helping him become president. What an arrogant prick! Fuk you Mittens (early morning Republicon turrets kicking in – fuk I hate those fukkers).

    • ElPinche

      The Nuge is still wiping his ass.

    • Steverino247

      Snark off

      Thank you for your service.

      Snark on

  • DaRooster

    Don't these guys know that another war would not only get more soldiers killed needlessly but it would also line the already lined pockets of a select few even deeper… and hey, "'Merica!"

  • not that Radio

    Is that Hyacinth Bucket in that photo? Minding the war, Hyacinth. Minding the war.

  • Boojum

    This is good news for John McCain!

  • edgydrifter

    Illegal Kenyan Marxist infiltration of our armed forces has become shockingly rampant since recruiters stopped demanding long-form birf certifimicates.

  • Only manly-man culture warriors like Mittens, Gingrich and Santorum should be allowed to serve.

    • Be the worst army ever… since the Kiss army.

    • sewollef

      They may be allowed to serve, but they sure as shit won't be doing any serving.

      Armed forces and getting shot at or blown up is for suckers.

    • MadBrahms

      Gingrich will only serve if they let him be High Commander of Moon-Based Special Operations.

  • Ducksworthy

    Isn't ironic that the people who have to fight wars hate wars but the people who universally avoid having to fight wars love them? Or is it something else, more hideous than ironic?

  • Romney not only is now against war with Iran – he ALSO is now saying that the desert there is the perfect color, the palm trees are just the right height and the camels are the friendliest in the entire world!

    • Jus_Wonderin

      "…and the camels are the friendliest in the entire world! "

      Where is SkoalRebel when we need him???

      • tessiee

        I guess he per-fers good ol' American cows and sheep to muslin critters like camels (except maybe Joe Camel).

    • MissTaken

      Camels are horrible creatures. if I had the opportunity to take out some camels I would happily go to war. Fucking smelly camels with their spitting and biting.

      • Biff

        They're just a horse designed by committee. Or US Congress, not sure which.

  • SorosBot

    But the media has always told me that the troops are all conservatives! And our great media could never be wrong, it's not like most of it is just a Republican propaganda outfit these days or anything.

    • Biff

      I really can't imagine a more socialistic organization, they should all be flaming lefties.

  • Mittens fought the French in France so we didn't have to fight them here.

    • He ate delicious food, wandered the streets of one of the world's most beautiful cities and ogled gorgeous women…. For freedom!

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I support the troops…having a hardon.

  • Gunner Asch

    This is encouraging and surprising news. My son-in-law's EOD unit is chock full of RWNJs. I was afraid they were all too representative.

    • EOD? Explosive Ordinance Dismantlement?
      Extra Ordinary Demolition??

      • Gunner Asch

        Explosive Ordnance Disposal. I thought I had some long schools back in '67, with Advanced Individual Training of 42 weeks for electronic spy schools. This takes 46 and has a very high washout rate, so presumably those who graduate are not the biggest idiots to be found (milling around near HE aside.)

        • Takes a lot of balls too, or ovaries or whatever!  I get nervous unloading the gas cartridge from my bb gun….

    • EOD?
      Right Wing New Jerseys? Huh?
      (I'm too old to know.)

      • Gunner Asch

        Right Wing Nut Jobs. Sorry, I thought it was a universal acronym. I guess EOD isn't either.

  • el_donaldo

    People tend to associate the military with the right wing, forgetting the large numbers of troops drawn from minorities, for one. Plus, an ethic of service doesn't actually predispose one to GOP policies.

    The officer corps, though, is I think a different thing altogether. Those guys are dicks.

    • Even some of the dicks in the Officer Corps are non-Republicans. You'd be surprised.

      Now, white southerners in the military are another matter, as are retirees.

      I treat a lot of active duty military people for PTSD, and a lot of them talk about how alienated they became in Iraq and Afghanistan. Some of them talk about how the Iraqis and Afghans "hate us." One talked about seeing acres of new SUVs parked at FOBs unused. Somebody made a lot of money.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        And A LOT of that money just walked right out of Afganistan. Fuck it all!! Why the fuck don't we "nation build" here????

        Sorry. I ranty.

      • el_donaldo

        I'm an army brat from the south, so I have some latent bitterness about it all.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I went to a reunion of my old ship a couple of weeks ago, and was pleasantly surprised to find that the Chief Engineer I served with, a crusty old salt if there ever was one, is quite a liberal. But then, he was prior enlisted.

  • Imagine that! Being used like props for the better part of a decade makes the troops mad.

  • At least I'm able to tell my kids that I am in fact, a veteran – of the war on ignorance…

  • Sir_Fartz_Alot

    hey mitt! how many ghey mimes did you kill?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I bet he just pantomimed holding them down and cutting their hair.

  • Those are lifers, and that sort of divorces them from the concerns of day-to-day living in America.

  • freakishlywrong

    A couple of Mitten's huge-toothed sons needs to enlist. Then, maybe the rank and file would have a little respect for him.

    • Biff

      Even the inbred Royals from Knifecrime Island understand this.

  • Guppy

    Maybe "the troops" realize that defense spending is less "men" and more "materiel."

    How's the VA budget looking?

  • Jus_Wonderin

    "You go to an election with the candidates you have—not the candidates you might want or wish to have at a later time".

  • SayItWithWookies

    Don't worry, Mitt Romney won't go to war with Iran — he hasn't even campaigned on that. That would be like Dubya having his first security meeting focused on Iraq.

  • ttommyunger

    Fat, ugly, stupid and bandaged is no way to go through life, lady…

  • smitallica

    We call that the "Get me the fuck OUT of this backwater shithole!" coalition.

  • An_Outhouse

    The vets they polled don't live in the wingnutopia I spent last week in. A place called Colorado Springs that wouldn't exist except for the voluptuous teet of the federal gov't. I was regaled with tales of killing brown people – for FREEDOM!

    • Steverino247

      The Air Force doesn't count. Way too corporate.

  • I think she was actually laughing about Ann Coulter joking about Max Cleland getting his limbs blown off. But yeah those purple heart band-aids sure were clever! That really put that patrician Lurch in his place, HAH!

  • chicken_thief

    I see Bill Ayers and Saul Alinsky have gotten to the troops.

  • Steverino247

    Having been at the very point of the spear (showed a picture of this at the Los Angeles party to the man cuddling with the Editrix in the photos) and having a permanently disabled son who was also at the very point of the spear, let me just say, "Fuck the Republican Party." As a group, they are war profiteers, cowards, war criminals. Everyone who wore one of those Purple Heart bandages should have had it slapped from their faces.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Don't worry, Mitt. Dick Armey still supports you.

  • owhatever

    What the hell? After all the "thank you for your service" and parades and public applause, these soldiers turn on the Republicans like a pack of weasels? And just at the time we need them for the War on Women, the War on Marriage, the War on Christmas and other wars to come. Need moah wars.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    I imagine the troops are more open to voting for Obama since, you know, they have to actually work, eat and sleep everyday with people that aren't uptight, white, Christian, born with a spoon in their mouth, frat boy pricks.

    But, then again, maybe there's just being brainwashed by the liberal press.

  • GeorgiaBurning

    Not a great surprise, good firemen always tell you to be careful with matches.

  • this just proofs we got 2 many negro and mexican soldiers in our Armed Forces

  • BarackMyWorld

    Not surprising to me since Mitt's kind of a pussy.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Suddenly, the GOP is in favor of disqualifying late arriving military absentee ballots.

  • Negropolis

    Honestly, if you add in Ron Paul as a third choice, I would not at all be surprised to see him carry a plurality.

  • Sophist[Kochblocker]

    Gee, it's almost as if soldiers don't actually LIKE getting shot at for no good reason.

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