one missippi

North Carolina Guv Finds Worst Insult For Amendment One Supporters

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North Carolina Governor Bev Perdue is extremely unhappy with the 61 percent of her tragically dumb constituents who voted to constitutionally ban gay marriage and gay civil unions in the state. How unhappy? Full nuclear insult unhappy: “People are saying what in the world is going on with North Carolina, we look like Mississippi.” OH SNAP.

You gonna take that, Mississippi?

Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant says he is disappointed by Perdue’s remarks. “Certainly, the comments from the North Carolina governor were very disappointing,” said Bryant. “To be able to use Mississippi in a disparaging way on a popular vote in her own state is, I think, something that’s certainly petty and something I think she will reflect on and hopefully apologize for those types of remarks.”

Hm. Bryant has forgotten the part where he disagrees with the assertion that the state is terrible. [WITN-TV]


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Barb

    And the other 48 states fear looking like Mississippi and North Carolina. Well, maybe not Arizona, they are just old, leathery idgits.

    • Fare la Volpe

      they are just old, leathery idgits

      You could say the same about cattle.

      • Guppy

        Cross-breeding does that.

      • Barb

        But cattle are delicious!
        I'm surprised the North Carolina governor didn't say, "North Carolina is better than Mississippi, and less exhausting to spell."

      • flamingpdog

        Arizonan teatards are living proof that Indians fucked buffalo.

        • didgen

          So much old sad hatred in that particular joke.

        • An Asexual Ungulate

          So ignorant loud old racist white people are proof that an entirely separate racial group did something unpleasant…? I'm not following.

  • weejee

    Robert Johnson weeps.

    / runs slide to 12th fret in open A with lotsa vibrato

    • FakaktaSouth

      Come on in my kitchen, it's going to be raining outside…I love RJ – ALL his gravesides have been appropriately mourned by my Father, I've only seen one.

  • Beetagger

    Today we are all Missippi.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Needs more lettars.

      • Vecchiojohn

        That's Miz-sipi.

    • sewollef

      Speak for yourself…. personally, I'm all Breukelen.

    • 12X34X

      Hear, hear, y'all.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Well that's how they pronounce it.

    • V572 Is this him?

      It's like Uz-becky-becky-stan-stan. You just get tired of typing it or saying it.

    • Infrogmation

      I've been told that third generation Mississippi natives can pronounce the state name in one syllable, but only while drunk.

  • Schmegeg

    " . . .something that’s certainly petty and something I think she will reflect on and hopefully apologize for those types of remarks.” and then added: "After all, this isn't Utah."

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      As a native Utahn, I wish I could be offended by that statement, but as I said, I'm a native Utahn.

      • Negropolis

        Well, Utah routinely ranks as one of the top ten least obese states while Mississippi consistently tops the list of the most obese states, so you guys got that. Apparently, Mormons don't seem to look too kindly upon overeating.

        • LetUsBray

          More likely, yanking it to porn that much burns some serious calories.

    • An Asexual Ungulate

      To which the Utah governor replied "I'm surprised that the governor of Mississippi realized we were a state, he must have gone to one of those fancy 'schools' they're all so proud of recently getting. I hope he'll see the error of his ways and apologize to the people of this fine state. After all, it's not like we're North Dakota."

  • Fare la Volpe

    To be able to use Mississippi in a disparaging way

    is pretty easy.

    • Chichikovovich

      Kind of unsporting, really. Like shooting animals from a helicopter or finding positions on which Romney has changed his stance 180 degrees.

      • seppdecker

        That's why the kids at Wasilla High called Bristol Palin "Mississippi."

        I'm kidding. It was "The Big Easy."

        • Butch_Wagstaff

          They also called her "Miss Sippy".

          • Veritas78

            I thought it was "Ole Three Holer."

  • DerrickWildcat

    Ok, off topic, (sorry) but follow up story to crazy Lincoln, Nebraska (still fourth best state) Lady that was terrified of the gays.
    Hint: She really is crazy. So shame on you!

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Crazy she might be, but I'd bet there are a ton of non-crazy (aka non-diagnosed) people that want her to run for congress.

    • Callyson

      "She does have a very tender heart … but anything she says is certifiably schizophrenic … she's not some crazy conservative."

      Sorry, my bad, but it's so hard to tell the difference…

      • sullivanst

        Surely she's literally some crazy conservative.

    • DemmeFatale

      "She does have a very tender heart … but anything she says is certifiably schizophrenic … she's not some crazy conservative."

      Love the comparison!!
      (Told you she was off her meds.)

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      She went Full Timecube. You never go Full Timecube.

    • Pragmatist2

      The mistake is understandable. telling the difference between a Republican and someone formally certified as crazy is a matter best left to experts. As a practical matter it makes little difference since the overlap is so high.

    • salt_bagel

      Wait, that wasn't just a really high level poetry slam?

      • Designer_Rants

        Good job using "high level" instead of "meta". They hate that word 'round here.

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      In the 18th century people used to go to Bedlam to stare at the lunatics. For a penny one could peer into their cells, view the freaks of the "show of Bethlehem" and laugh at their antics. Entry was free on the first Tuesday of the month. In 1814 alone, there were 96,000 such visits –Wikipedia, Bethlehem Royal Hospital

      See how much progress we've made?

      • C_R_Eature

        A tremendous amount of Progress, surely.
        Now, one merely has to activate one's own Personal Tele-Visual Receiver, often in the comfort of one's very own home, and tune the Devices frequency in to "The Jersey Shore".

        • Butch_Wagstaff

          Eh. I can walk a few blocks to the corner of Broad St. & the Boulevard to see crazy. But, then again, even some of those folks are saner that most people on "reality shows".

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      The only difference between her and the rest of the GOP is the "diagnosed" part.

    • FrenchTwist40

      That never stopped us from ridiculing Michele Bachmann, though!

    • Negropolis

      "She does have a tender heart…she just hates the dickens out of the gays is all, bless her heart."

  • arihaya

    it could have been worse, people could think that North Carolina is like Texas.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Apologize? To whom? This one's a bit hard to walk back.
    "Sorry N.C., I didn't mean to compare you to Mississippi?" or "Sorry, Mississippi, I didn't mean to compare you to N.C?"

    Maybe the standard Republican "Sorry if anyone was offended" nopology is the best tactic here.

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      "I'm sorry if I offended any states who decided to interpret my words to mean that I was insulting them."

      • starfanglednut

        When I was them insulting them.

  • ProgressiveInga

    “….something I think she will reflect on and hopefully apologize for those types of remarks.”
    Your move, Aunt Grandma.

  • Guppy

    The remark can only be disparaging if Mississippi's stance is wrong-headed.


  • Mittens Howell, III

    Mississipi to North Carolina "Does my ass look ignorant in this state?"

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Fuck. What would North Carolina have to do to look like South Carolina?

    • V572 Is this him?

      Elect Jim Demint.

      • Mittens Howell, III

        *clap clap*

        • V572 Is this him?

          Or the ghost of Jesse Helms. There was one evil fuckwad. Made Demint seem humane and generous.

          • Butch_Wagstaff

            The ghost of Jesse follows around interracial gay couples shaking its ghost fist at them.

      • BelleSC

        Elect Jim Demint.

        Perfect! :-)

        I've met the guy. I can tell you FO SHO he is an a**hole.

    • OneYieldRegular

      She must not be from North Carolina, else she would have known that given any chance to disparage another state, North Carolinians are constitutionally required to go with "South Carolina."

      • GlowneyHouse

        This is correct. On the other hand, South Carolinians always compare themselves favorably to Mississippi as in "we're 49th in education again. Thank God for Mississippi."

        and in associated SC news, an Elvis impersonator is arrested for assault after arguing over the rules of a board game, and leaves with the Blues Brothers.

        • not that Radio

          That's gonna be a hard story to beat. Maybe if a Teletubbie got into it with a Betty Davis drag queen, and the fight spilled out of a Taco Bell and into a dinosaur-shaped raft.

    • Negropolis

      Ban same-sex marriage. Oh wait…

      Seriously, though, NC broght us Jesse Helms…for many years, so you guys still have a lot to make up for. Delivering a victory for Obama in 2008 and giving us a female Democratic governor and the Research Triangle is a nice start.

      • billy_reuben

        I always thought it was cute how the Jesse Helms Carolina turns up its nose at the Strom Thurmond Carolina.

  • flamingpdog

    Heeeengh, I just woke up, fellow Wonkerados Wonketeers – the snark has not welled up within me yet. Don't use up all the good comments while I go out for coffee, puhleaze. Later, hosen!

    • iburl

      Snark never sleeps, and neither does Barb

  • Tundra Grifter

    Reminds me of Sam Wyche, coach of the Cincinnati Bengals, being very angry at his fans for their misconduct. He got on the Riverfront public address system and yelled "Hey – this isn't Cleveland!"

  • Callyson

    I think she will reflect on and hopefully apologize for those types of remarks

    Sorry if you were offended, dumbass…

  • barto

    It's true, thugh, she could have picked another US state, like Afghanistan.

    • flamingpdog

      Or even another country, like Africa.

    • Negropolis

      Or Iraq or Israel.

      • Biff

        Such as.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Yo, Mississippi, if you don't like being an example for the stupid, fat, homophobic, ignorant, racist, type2 diabetic, uneducated, slovenly, Wal-Mart loving, redneck, lowest common denominator of this country, stop acting like it.

    (Yes. takes one to know one. Alabama says thanks for taking the hit on this one. Also, at least you can gamble in Mississippi – I have to cross the border for that)

    ETA, after reading some comments – This is beautiful, watching you all put North Carolina in the stupid southern category, because I KNOW it pisses MOST of them off BIG TIME – they are like the kid from Dallas who moves to NY and is now "above it all." NC has a Democratic Lady Governor, talk funny (like yanks), have all those private Universities, like basketball instead of football (and Lacrosse!), get cold weather in the winter and didn't really get in to "mainstream" Nascar in Charlotte til California did (Jeff Gordon!) But they did a stupid, stupid, terrible thing and just got kicked back down to wallow with the ignant fucktard crew. LOVE LOVE LOVE it.

    • spareme

      Only reason they took the hit is cuz Scott Beason, et all, didn't think of it first. Also, maybe cuz either everyone in Bama is either gay or their brother or sister is (too). Also, Dr. Dr. Bentley – well, the gays go to church, probably his church, so they are his brothers and sisters too. Does that make him gay as well?

      I'd like to bitch slap everyone in NC, in honor of all my gay cousins and aunts, throughout the generations. And, fuck you Biltmore also.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Haha, you nailed that one Fakakta. I used to live in NC and was all those things!

  • mavenmaven

    "…I think she will reflect on and hopefully apologize…"
    In other words, UNLEASH THE TEA BAGGERS!

  • Doktor StrangeZoom


  • Dr. Nick Riviera

    OT: Romney backs away from gay adoption
    "But then on Friday, he was asked, in an interview with CBS' WBTV in Charlotte, N.C., how his opposition to same-sex marriage "squared" with his support for gay adoptions. Romney told anchor Paul Cameron, "Well actually I think all states but one allow gay adoption, so that's a position which has been decided by most of the state legislators, including the one in my state some time ago. So I simply acknowledge the fact that gay adoption is legal in all states but one.""

    And he manages to say the youngs are too stupid to know how banking works in the same interview. Mr. Popularity!

  • CrunchyKnee

    C'mon you fucking rednecks, there's still Texas and Flo'duh. Race to the bottom, y'all.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Bryant has forgotten the part where he disagrees with the assertion that the state is terrible.

    Yeah…he "forgot."

  • sbj1964

    Mississippi where even people from Alabama feel better about themselves.

  • Dr. Nick Riviera

    How often do conservatives bitch about new york and LA (and since Obama became president CHICAGO) being dens of iniquity and not REAL America?

  • salt_bagel

    M-I-S-S-I-P-P-I goes into the anus to rupture intestines.

  • V572 Is this him?

    In St Louis, the capital city of Third World America (useful public education a distant memory, public works in ruins, everybody's black or Catholic and plays soccer), the justification for why everything's so rotten is, "At least we're better than Jefferson County," which is the exurban county to the south of STL. It once had a sewage treatment plant but the denizens thought it was a communist plot and wouldn't hook up to sewers, so they shut it down.

    In Jefferson City (capital of MO, in case you didn't know), they apologize for everything by saying, "At least it's not as bad as Arkansas." In Little Rock, they look down on Mississpi.

    If Romney wins, we'll all be able to say, "At least it's better than Uz-becky-becky-stan-i-stan."

    • SayItWithWookies

      My nickname for Arkansas? North Louisiana.

      • Negropolis

        One half of my family has roots in Arkansas, and let me tell you that they wish they were Louisiana.

    • Beanball

      I lived in Misery for 8 unfortunate years. As a native Californian, it was culture shock to the max (I lived in Lebanon and later "escaped" to Kansas City). Both are unutterable shit holes and yes, the people there looked down on Arkansas.

      Mississippi must be Dante's Hell on Earth.

    • Designer_Rants

      I drove through and stayed the night in Arkansas recently. Of the 7 or 8 states we drove through on our way to the Alabama coast, it was the shittiest for travelling. They have these things I'd never come across before, and wouldn't believe any government would've done it if I hadn't experienced it first hand. I call them "Suicide Ramps". They're these on/off ramps for an interstate highway that within about a hundred feet, merge (no stop sign, just a yield) onto a 2 way street. "Pull & Pray" might also be an apt name.

      Let me reiterate: You pull off going, say, 60mph ACROSS a 2-way frontage road and merge onto it, hoping you don't get side swiped, rear ended, head on-ed — because those people don't have a stop sign, and neither do you. Anyone ever seen a Figure 8 Race? It's like that.

      Also gotta say, MS and LA were delightful to drive through on their interstates, compared to some other states.

      • V572 Is this him?

        Every tried a New Jersey jughandle intersection? Each one isn’t so bad by itself, but you never know which intersection will have one and which one won’t.

  • MissTaken

    To be able to use Mississippi in a disparaging way on a popular vote in her own state is, I think, something that’s certainly true and something we would reflect on if only our state would remember where it left it's thinking cap at back in the 1800's.

  • V572 Is this him?

    What blog-readers really want to talk about is jobs and the economy. When we get into office and get rid of job-killing Obamacre and reduce regulations, the economy will come back.

    • valthemus

      A quick survey of Blogspot blogs suggests that what blog-readers really want to talk about is babies, cats and cupcakes.

  • gogogodzilla

    Alabama state motto: "Thank God for Mississippi."

  • AlterNewt

    Dearest Imogene,

    We arrived LAX last night and the car was waiting to take us to the consulate. Bored to tears with my briefing papers, I thought I would have a peek at my predecessor's search history on the Excec. computer. (The terms of his dismissal were quite clear that he should leave everything as it was.) He was not a bad fellow, though deep into the bottle, and he seems to have spent an inordinate amount of time viewing an American site called 'Wonkette' of all things. I'm sure it was innocent enough, but I shall monitor the site for a while, and try to determine if it sheds any light on his unfortunate unraveling, though after all, what harm could it do?

    Hug the children for me,


    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      Aha…cue the Eldritch horrors, then.

      • AlterNewt

        We shall see…

  • ManchuCandidate

    It's a good thing that Mississippi is too fat on Moonpies and sluggish thanks to Diabeetus 2 and couldn't find North Carolina with a map or they would go and beat North Carolina for that insult.

    • vtxmcrider

      You seem to have forgotten that US Americans don't have maps.

  • Mort_Sinclair

    Continues to boggle my mind why Massachusetts isn't simply collapsing under the weight of intelligent, progressive, thoughtful people moving here looking for a half-way decent place to live. WTF! C'mon up! The water's fine!

    • biblioteq_tress

      Our winters suck, Mort. Sorry, but it is true.

      • Mort_Sinclair

        Well, what with global climate change, this winter may be the New Winter…. We certainly can't complain this year, can we?

        • biblioteq_tress

          This year was lovely, true. It was so nice to have a spring, and not just a spontaneous melt on June 3 when the snow turns to mud and we jump from 30 to 80 degrees.

    • biblioteq_tress

      Mort, remember when Mittens spent the last year of his "governorship" smacktalking Mass across this great country? To the point that Kerry Healy had to do one of those republican-non-apology apology things when she ran against Deval. And remember how, during his tenure, the Massachusetts Republican Party actually shrank, going from teensy tiny to absolutely cryptorchid?

      I'd like to thank Mitt for, if not increasing the intelligent progressive population of MA, at least reducing the whiny wingnut contingency & scaring most away from crossing the border into Lawrence.

      • Mort_Sinclair

        In the earlier stages of the Republican primary season when I was telling folks not from around here that if given enough time, Mittens would reveal his true self, the true self we all came to despise. They never believed me. Now they get it. Heh.

        • biblioteq_tress

          The slight bit of optimism I feel is based on that– we now will have 6 months of Romney being Romney, something I suspect even Ann Romney can barely tolerate (hence all the homes). I expect he may grate on the nerves of the American public as much as he did on us.

          • Mort_Sinclair

            And Romney's serious and substantial shortcomings–his tendency to go off-script, his lack of empathy, his haughty paternalism, his nasty streak when he's rattled, his propensity to resort to ad hominem when cornered–will all be on full display. Imagine Mittens in a debate with Obama. Pass the popcorn.

    • HistoriCat

      Property values. Most of the shithole states we would like to escape from have low property values – so even if we managed to sell our homes, we could never afford to live in a high-value area like Massachusetts.

      • biblioteq_tress

        Sadly true. Hey, bring a sleeping bag and you can crash on my living room floor for a while! We still have room– our Irish relatives haven't started coming back yet although, given the state of the Irish economy, we anticipate having a kitchen filled with 17 year old construction workers and landscapers from Cork for the next few summers. Here's your chance!

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Mississippi's just jealous because North Carolina's getting more attention for it's bigotry than Mississippi is. The state's been working hard for years to bring up its exports of talented people looking to get the hell out of that pigsty, now North Carolina is stealing their thunder.

  • biblioteq_tress

    CAN WE GET A SHOUT OUT FROM NEW JERSEY? Where's Jersey in all this? I want C. Christie front-and-center reminding NC that even though Jersey isn't full of Rascal-riding bigots rolling into the voting booths, NJ can suck too. If "Jersey Shore" gets cancelled, people may forget.

    • C_R_Eature

      Fear Not. As long as there are New Yorkers, there will be people saying that New Jersey Sucks.

    • Negropolis

      New Jersey is the Staten Island of the Mid-Atlantic.

      How was that?

      • 102415

        Look at a map Staten Island is New Jersey.

        • Negropolis

          I hope you're just adding to my joke and not being serious. lol

          • 102415

            Just kidding.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Missippi, Alabammy, Loozanny, Carolina Georguh — y'all figure out what you have in common yet? It's heritage, not education.

  • valthemus

    Instead of "Go to hell!" people can say "Go to Mississippi!"

    (Unless you're in Mississippi… in which case it's, "Go to North Carolina!" if you're a little angry or, "Go to South Carolina!" if you're super-pissed.)

    • SudsMcKenzie

      I dont care who you are, thats funny right there,

    • Negropolis

      Or, if they are enraged down there in Mississip: "Go to San Francisco!"

  • owhatever

    “People are saying what in the world is going on with North Carolina, we look like Mississippi.”

    Sorry, guv, but people have been asking that for years.

  • CapeClod

    I guess this means that the Governor of Mississippi is totally OK with same sex marriage.

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    Maybe the next civil war will be between these two.

  • C_R_Eature

    Your Move, Arzona.

  • ttommyunger

    Shit, my local organ, the infamous right-wing rag, "Marietta Daily Urinal" published an issue with the previous day's date on the Banner. I went in person and told them the only reason I subscribed was for the laughs, and I was not referring to the Comics Section.

  • Spurning Beer

    Well, at least in Mississippi they don't put cole slaw INSIDE THE PULLED PORK SANDWICH!

    • Designer_Rants

      I was in MS a couple months ago and ate some fantastic food. No wonder they're the fattest state.

    • 102415

      Hold on there. It is supposed to be in the sandwich and soaked in vinegar.

      • BelleSC

        …soaked in vinegar.

        aaaacccckkkkk!!! Sacrilege!

    • biblioteq_tress

      DO NOT dis slaw on pulled pork! That's how Jesus wanted us to eat it! On Sunbeam bread with a side of bread&butter pickles.

      • 102415

        "DO NOT dis slaw on pulled pork! That's how Jesus wanted us to eat it! On Sunbeam bread with a side of bread&butter pickles."
        Exactly, correct.

  • lizunyan

    I made a furious facebook post ranting out the stupidity of North Carolina, and completely forgot a large portion of my family on my dad's side lives there and don't like being called "dim". It was a mistake I will never make again. Anyway, as an Alabama resident, I'm just grateful we haven't quiiite gotten there yet… while i drive to TN to buy lotto tickets and fill out medical forms to prove I need this giant dildo to "improve my health"

  • el_donaldo

    So has anybody asked Tennsee if it feels left out?

  • Negropolis

    Of all the Dem governors in reddish or purple states over the last decade or so, I've always felt the most consistent pity for Bev Perdue. She has put up with so much shit, and it's nothing short of amazing that she was able to win her office in the first place.

  • Negropolis

    Bev Perdue's apology: Let me put this in simple words, so that you may understand. I'm sorry you bass-ackwards, cousin-fucking, 50th-in-everything rednecks took offense. I sincerely apologize.

    I feel terrible for even snarking, Mississippi has nice, nice…beaches? And the citizens are so, so…nice? At least you're not, not…Puerto Rico?

    • biblioteq_tress

      You win, negropolis!

  • Clankie

    The saddest part of the article is when it says she has already decided not to seek reelection. The headline should read: "North Carolinians Elect Dem Governor, Governor Flees State in Revulsion".