So, what’s today’s latest comically over-the-top story from a libertarian/Republican who pretends to care about TSA on righteous civil liberties grounds but mostly wants it privatized and deunionized? Oooh, Geraldo, on Fox & Friends. Well yeah? These always involve the grossest old men suggesting, oddly, that some employee who’s just trying to get through the day wanted to fuck them. Rivera actually helps us out, by saying, “I think there is a lot of merit in people who say it should be re-privatized.” Oh, do you? “I don’t necessarily endorse that” — of course not! — “…but I tell you the last time I flew to Afghanistan I got manually raped by a guy who – the scanner wasn’t working…” He means at the airport; but we can only hope that he got manually raped by a guy while in Afghanistan, too.
“He wanted to make sure…,” Doocy offered as an attempt at clarification.
“But making sure is one thing,” said Rivera. “This guy, it seemed to me, was getting off on it…”
“Oh my gosh,” laughed Carlson.
“…And the more and the tighter I got and the angrier I got,” said Rivera. “You know, he just wanted to be a little more intimate.”
Rivera than manhandled Doocy in an attempt to illustrate the intrusive TSA inspection he had received. “I said, man-oh-man, if that was [Fox News anchor] Shep Smith that would have been a real blow out,” Rivera noted. “You know, Shep has said ‘don’t touch my…”
“J.U.N.K.,” noted Carlson.
These people are all on national television.