Romney Fans To Gobble Down Sex Pills At Posh Fundraiser

Real Americans everywhere are recoiling in disgust at Mitt Romney's latest campaign move: He's inviting the wealthiest plutocrats to dine with him on Star Island, a literally insular retreat of the rich and powerful near Miami . The fat cats will have to pony up $50,000 apiece just to bask in Mitt's presence, with the campaign accountants using some kind of jiggery pokery to make a mockery of the legal limits on campaign contributions . Here, the 1 percent will eat gold-plated quail livers and plot their continuing class war against ... haha, just kidding, nobody is at all angry about a standard fundraising tactic enjoyed by Democratic and Republican candidates alike! But there is a wee bit of outrage over the fact that the host of this event is the Chairman of the Board of the company that makes a popular emergency contraceptive , which means that this event is basically the equivalent of Mitt Romney sending nuns to Auschwitz.

It is fun every four years to watch True Believers of all political stripes suddenly discover how elections work, if you consider candidates constantly trundling up to huge troughs of money and diving in head-first to be "working." This particular cash-binge is hosted by the fabulously wealthy Phillip Frost; Teva Pharmaceutical Industries, the company Frost heads, is a multi-billion-dollar corporation that makes dozens and dozens of fun and profitable flavors of pills, including Adderal (Ivy League meth), Zolpidem (quickly overtaking roofies to become the #1 date rape drug), and, yes, Plan B, a pill you take if you are a lady and you don't want to get pregnant and you just had sex with some guy but didn't use another form of birth control (or maybe the form you did use had a li'l accident ). Pro-life types like to call it the "abortion pill," because they want to move the goalposts on conception from "when a fertilized egg implants in your uterus" to "when a dude blows it in your hoo-hah."

Mitt's thoughts on abortion and birth control and whether sex should ever be even slightly fun have of course famously evolved since his days as a liberal Masschusettsian, and now he too calls Plan B an abortion pill, or rather an "abortive pill," because Mitt Romney doesn't talk like humans do.

Anyway, some pro-life groups that are even more out of touch with political reality than your typical pro-life groups are begging Romney to cancel this fundraiser, or at least claimed that they were when the Daily Caller harassed them about it . The fundraiser will go ahead and everyone will completely forget about it in a few weeks, and the controversy will have obscured the real scandal here: according to Wikipedia, Phillip Frost has a French Literature degree from an elitist East Coast university ! Will he and Mitt talk to each other in the devil's socialist language (French)?

[ Think Progress / Daily Caller / Photo by Gage Skidmore, Creative Commons license 3.0   ]