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In Case It Wasn’t Clear, Michele Bachmann’s Dual Citizenship Is The Left’s Fault

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You are missing part of your headYesterday we learned that Michele Bachmann is a spy for the Swiss government, intent on bringing down the United States of America from within. “Go for it,” we say. But on the Right, this is a cause for great consternation. Also, on the Right, this is all considered the Left’s fault. For an explanation, let’s turn to Mark Krikorian, one of the remaining white nationalists at the #1 internet blog, National Review‘s The Corner.

Krikorian, well — this guy knows how to drop a quote. There’s that time he urged people to avoid pronouncing Sonia Sotomayor’s name properly, and then that other time when he actually wrote the sentence, “My guess is that Haiti’s so screwed up because it wasn’t colonized long enough.” Now let’s add this to ye olde Wonkette archives:

The fact that even a patriot like Bachmann would do something like this is testament to how thoroughly the moral relativism of the post-national Left has permeated our culture.

My guess is that Krikorian’s so screwed up because everything.

[NRO via Kevin Drum]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Comments

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  • Barb

    Michele Bachmann is just sucking up to the Swiss in the hopes of getting more votes in the "who's crazier than Sarah Palin" contest.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      The watch is on, which flag pin will she wear? Will she get them mixed up? Actually, the Swiss one might do better when going after contributions.

      • Barb

        Hello GeorgiaBurning!
        About those flags….I think the guy who came up with the Japanese flag was just a lazy fat fuck.

        • GeorgiaBurning

          Actually- he or she was following the principles of "design for manufacturing". It's pretty hard to screw up making one.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        You're right: people might confuse it for the Red Cross

  • philpjfry

    I read what the loon said and I have one question. What?

    • MadBrahms

      I had that one, but also "Who?"

      • Nostrildamus

        "Whither?" was always my fave.

  • barto

    My guess is that we should all mispronounce Krikeycorkanian's last name, forever.

    • nounverb911

      Kervorkian?

    • johnnymeatworth

      Dorkian?

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Mark Krackwhorin?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Koch?

    • not that Dewey

      Kraken?

    • http://wonkette.com Chill-A-Sketch

      I read "Mark Klitorian," but then again, I'm a very twisted individual.

    • SorosBot

      Kardashian?

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Kumguzzlin?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Throatwarblermangrove?

      (It is, after all, International Monty Python Day)

      • Generation[redacted]

        You misspelled Luxuryyacht.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        In that case I'll pronounce it "Snivelinglittleratfacedgit."

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        It is?! My nipples explode with delight.

    • el_donaldo

      Creepy-and-boring?

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    The republican party pretty much peaked with Lincoln.

    • mull_man

      what about TR? He was awsomeness in trousers. Bully!

      • Nostrildamus

        That explains Mitt's childhood escapades! Trying to be TR.

  • chascates

    If moral relativism had really permeated our culture Bachmann would have become a citizen of Iran.

  • Fukui-sanYesRadio

    WOOHOO! We're post-national now! Is that like getting free long distance phone calls or something?

  • Judith_Priest

    Odd. That means I, a Dirty Lefty, am more patriotic than Michelle "Commies under the bed!" Bachmann.

  • IncenseDebate

    Krikorian should give himself the full Kervorkian.

  • FraAnima

    Krikorian should go back to helping people kill themselves with drugs instead of boring words.

  • ChernobylSoup

    "Benedict Arnold seduced by Radicals, Provides Secrets to the Crown!"

    • Preferred Customer

      Benedict Arnold's treason was also properly blamed on the radical Left.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    I assume this was an advertisement for Mental Swiss Cheese.

    • nounverb911

      Now with extra holes!

  • nounverb911

    I still say, deport the bitch!

  • johnnymeatworth

    “My guess is that Haiti’s so screwed up because it wasn’t colonized long enough.”

    By that same token, the USA didn't spend enough time under the thumb of King George III?

    • GeorgiaBurning

      So, how does he explain Greece?

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        They didn't spend enough time under the leadership of Hitler?

        • Fare la Volpe

          Enlightened leadership, thank you.

    • UnholyMoses

      No.

      Why?

      Because: WHITE PEOPLE!

      Seriously — that's his argument. The U.S. had whites running things, while Haiti was predominantly teh blahs.

      Q.E.D(umbass)

      • doloras

        Having to pay 150 years of reparations to France for freeing the slaves didn't help much either.

  • Goonemeritus

    Thy bones are marrowless, thy blood is cold.

  • Major Thom

    Moral relativism is kinda like an Etch-a-Sketch. This might make the Mittens angry and he'll cut off your hair or something.

    • el_donaldo

      Don't blame Mitt for that. It was the kid's fault. The fact that a boy could look that good … there's no way Mitt could not do something!

  • nounverb911

    Actually, isn't it Marcus' fault?

  • Poindexter718

    So Rep. Bachmann's going to escape moral relativism by going to … Switzerland?

    • MaxNeanderthal

      Are you seriously telling me that demented hag may be in residence within 500 nautical miles of me? I note Switzerland has one of the highest home-ownerships of military-spec firearms in the world, which'll come in handy if I ever run into her harpy-ness on a ski slope somewhere….

      • Poindexter718

        We would all cheer for you in such a biathlon.
        (PS: No offense intended with the implication of Swiss moral relativism; just seemed sort of a weird argument what with the assiduously cultivated reputation for neutrality and killer fondue.)

    • GOPCrusher

      She's pretty fair complected (sp?). I imagine the harsh noonday sun of Mogadishu would be too much for her.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Yes, because moral relativism includes chiding a multi-ethnic President about being a Muslim from Kenya.

  • freakishlywrong

    The fuck is "post-national Left"?

    • SheriffRoscoe

      They are words in English. That's about all I know.

    • MissTaken

      I assume that a hot dog flavored cereal has left the building.

      • freakishlywrong

        Oh dear. Gong! I had to read that twice, now I'm all a giggle.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        KOSHER LIBEL!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      We mail a lot of Priority Letters

    • MadBrahms

      It's weird – he's… a protectionist, somehow? And thinks post-nationalism is the fault of "the Left"? That is one seriously confused man.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Bike paths?

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    The fact that even a patriot like Bachmann would do something like this is testament to how thoroughly the moral relativism of the post-national Left has permeated our culture.

    Uhhhh, Mark? I, um, think I might see a small, um, flaw in your construct.

    • Fukui-sanYesRadio

      You can do it with all kinds

      The fact that even a statesman like al-Assad would do something like this is testament to how thoroughly the moral relativism of the post-national Left has permeated our culture.

      or

      The fact that even a talented musician like Chris Brown would do something like this is testament to how thoroughly the moral relativism of the post-national Left has permeated our culture.

      or

      The fact that even a fine Christian woman like Tanning Mom would do something like this is testament to how thoroughly the moral relativism of the post-national Left has permeated our culture.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Oh! Well, now it makes more sense!

  • Preferred Customer

    Krikorian praises the Swiss for neutrality so staunch that even the Nazis left them alone. I would remind Mr. Krikorian that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.

    • LeAlbatross

      The Nazis left the Swiss alone because you don't shoot your banker.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    "….moral relativism of the post-national Left……"

    There are too many words and concepts in that little phrase. My eyes glazed over because of all the nonsense.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Never met a man who used that many words to say absolutely nothing.

    • sullivanst

      Too many, and yet none at all.

    • Generation[redacted]

      full of sound and vocabulary, signifying nothing.

  • RadioRehab

    Who moved my cheese?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    If she actually moves there, the German cantonments will be suggesting she live in the Italian cantonments, and Italian cantonments will be urging her to move to the French cantonments, and the French cantonments will be telling her that she'd probably be happier in ze German cantonments. "No, you take her."

    • Terry

      Then, they'll all slide her down an Alpine hillside into Italy.

    • sullivanst

      It seems the German-speakers were uncharacteristically inefficient, as apparently Thurgau was left holding the baby.

  • LettucePrey

    'Cheley didn't give up her U.S. citizenship, did she? So what is this Kardashian dude fapping from his bunghole? Again, also, too.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      That's the beauty of dual-citizenship: unless you actually renounce your American citizenship (running for elective office might count) you get to keep both

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    So the post-lobotomy wingnut writers have made up a new word? What does "post-national Left" mean? I haz a confused.

    • CommieLibunatic

      I think they mean to imply that we don't love America as much as we used to? Like we never talk with America anymore, opting instead just to eat some pizza, watch the news, and go to sleep.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        mmm. Pizza.

        • horsedreamer_1

          Imagine an entire domicile constructed of pizza. I think it would properly be called PIZZA HOUSE!

          • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

            Oh dear, that would be something. What about an entire structure constructed of waffles? I think it would be called WAFFLE BUILDING!

  • not that Dewey

    I can't afford Post Nationals, so I usually just buy the house-brand "American-Os"

  • SayItWithWookies

    Whenever a GOPer gets caught sexting underage boys or a fundamentalist minister is found dead, wrapped in twine with a dildo up his wet-suited ass, Krakonlian drags that sentence out, changes the particular name and congratulates himself on being an astute culture warrior.

    • Fukui-sanYesRadio

      He's cultured like yersinia pestis, yo.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Well, I was going to be real pissed off at the right if that Baldwin guy had actually moved to Canada after Bush "won" the second time, so I reckon I can't blame them for being pissed off.

  • rickmaci

    So does this mean that 'chele is no longer invited to the tea party?

    • ChernobylSoup

      Seems she's more of a hot cocoaist now.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      She has to bring the Swiss Miss

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Michele's still invited, as long as she brings Marcus. (He bakes the most delicious Ladyfingers!)

    • GOPCrusher

      Yeah, that was my first thought when I read about this. Those "Patriots" must be in full head exploding over this turn of events.

  • mormos

    wait… what?

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Hey, this is Pulitzer Prize nominee worthy blabber you are talking about.

  • RedneckMuslin

    Oh shucks, we'd love to take credit for her moving to Swissland, but we really shouldn't.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Can we also assume that Newt Gingrich's serial divorces are the fault of the Left? Or Gov. Perry's inability to speak coherient sentences? Or Mitt Romney's desire to bankrupt businesses?

    • Preferred Customer

      Post-matrimonial Left, post-lingual Left, and post-financial Left, respectively.

    • Terry

      Only if we can blame John Edward's affair with Rielle Hunter on the right.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Krikorian for Veep, please.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Virtually nothing these cons say ever make sense to me …Bachmann is such a conservative and was so undone by the Left in this country that she's decided to take up citizenship in a country …even more to the Left?

  • littlebigdaddy

    Go back to fucking Ingushetia, Krikorian.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    re: alt text
    No forceps handy, but vice-grips were.

    • SheriffRoscoe

      Dude's got a dent in his head. Maybe that explains everything.

    • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

      His head starts in one direction, but then turns in another.

  • DaRooster

    Now, if only we could get the rest of the lunatic, bible thumping, holier than thou fucks to go somewhere/anywhere else…

    • MaxNeanderthal

      There are several trenches in the Pacific in need of filling up…..

    • RavenRant

      I'm encouraging them all to Go Galt and/or get Raptured forthwith. They are way past their sell-by date.

    • OurDailyBread

      I have a very nice handbasket they can travel in.

  • GeorgiaBurning

    I though moral relativism was the cornerstone of the Republican party.

    • RavenRant

      I think amoral rapacity is more their line.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Keep fucking that moral relativist, post-national chicken.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Marcus announced he had applied for citizenship at the new space colony mining facility. He is now a citizen of "Uranus Ore Mine."

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Sounds like the post-rational right is lookin' to string them up a commie turncoat.

    • RavenRant

      Post-rational. Upfist!

  • SorosBot

    Moral relativism is one of those phrases that the right loves to throw around as an insult that means absolutely nothing.

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Well, it depends…..

    • doloras

      Which is hilarious, because IOKIYAR is the perfect expression of moral relativism.

  • FakaktaSouth

    "The fact that even a patriot like Bachmann would do something like this is testament to how thoroughly the moral relativism of the post-national Left has permeated our culture."

    She is fleeing pressures from the left by going to a place where they actually get their way? That's like me saying, I am sick of right wing fundamentalism in Alabama so I am moving to Iran. It kinda goes along with her farm subsidies, entire career of government jobs and foster care grifting – but shit girl, come ON.

  • Steverino247

    Obviously, the Swiss have seen Michele's brain scan results.

    Radiologists said: "Swiss cheese!"

  • BaldarTFlagass

    She just liked that no-minaret rule they passed last year. Figured the whole country was full of her fellow-travellers.

  • Eve8Apples

    Old Crazy Eyes just wants to take advantage of that Switzerland style NObamacare.

    From the NYT September 18, 2009….

    "In 1996, Switzerland instituted an individual mandate by which people are legally required to purchase health insurance in a competitive market. People buy coverage from private insurers, and the government provides subsidies for those who can’t afford coverage. About a third of the population receives subsidies."

    • Barrelhse

      I can't believe the coincidence- I was just reading the Sept.18, 2009 NYT myself!

  • Fare la Volpe

    You know who else hated moral relativism and blamed everything on his vaguely defined political rivals?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      J. Edgar Hoover?

    • Fukui-sanYesRadio

      Old testament Jehovah?

      • AlterNewt

        Verily, man.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Joe the Plumber?

    • sezme

      Yahweh?

    • Veritas78

      I know this! Yippee yay, I actually know the answer to one of these!!!

      It's Santorum, right? 'Cuz there couldn't be anyone else.

      What do I win?

    • horsedreamer_1

      Reagan?

  • Guppy

    He does realize that we're talking about Switzerland and not Rhodesia, right?

  • gunnergoz

    Why shouldn't she become a citizen of where most of her wealth probably is banked?

  • Come here a minute

    I can only blame myself for Mark Krikorian being a fucking idiot.

  • prommie

    Of course, its well-known that Switzerland is a deeply religious, theocratic state known for its pious, morally upright people! An American conservative would feel so at home there, with the registered heroin addicts, legal abortion, welfare, socialized medicine, pensions, yes, so at home, much better than the USA and its secular liberals.

    I'm surprised Bachmann didn't take French citizenship.

    • Eve8Apples

      When I heard about Bachmann's Swiss citizenship, I thought, "Why not Cuba? It's closer to Minnesota?" Castro probably rejected her application.

  • JustPixelz

    The fact that even a patriot someone with anti-American views like Bachmann would do something like this is testament to how thoroughly the moral relativism of the post-national Left Tea Party has permeated our culture.

    –fixed

  • ttommyunger

    Inane psychobabble libel.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    He has a point, after all she is gay-married too. Also.

  • Fairtackle

    A clear example of the rational relativism of the post-intellectual right.

  • widestanceromance

    It's all a big laugh for you Wonketteers, but when you hear that Riccola Horn* signaling the imposition of Riccolian Law, it won't be so damn funny.

    *as seen on tv

  • SmutBoffin

    The Wonkette Word of the Day is bioinspired.

    As in "The design of Krikorian's head is bioinspired; it reproduces the aerodynamics of a lumpy potato."

    • Fukui-sanYesRadio

      The fact that even a Pulitzer-nominated writer like Krikorian would have a head like a dented potato is testament to how thoroughly the tuberist aerodynamicism of the post-bioinspirational Left has permeated our culture.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Is he the 5th Kardashian?

    He'd fit right in.

  • CommieLibunatic

    So much for all that "personal responsibility" I hear from the GOP cheerleaders so often.

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    That guy seriously looks like he has fetal alcohol syndrome.

    Which would explain a lot.

  • NYNYNYjr

    Just a question for a journalist, b/c I don't think this will be on google: How many members of Congress have dual citizenship? She can't be the only one…who are the others, what are their countries? I mean, it seems like a good fact to know in case interest gets conflicting: see former president of Peru Fujimori, re: hiding in Japan.

  • OneYieldRegular

    The Swiss are aware, aren't they, that this is someone so deranged that, presented with Barack Obama and George Dubya Bush, she chose to lock lips with the latter?

  • metamarcisf

    One commentor wrote: "Unless Switzerland and the US go to war, where is the conflict?"

    Kenya, that's another story.

  • Dildeaux

    Hubby Marcus prefers Swiss manscapes to the dry, barren, cracked plains of home.

  • HippieEsq

    He seems to have a big dent in the right side of his face. I gather, then, that he gets kicked in the side of the head daily for saying/writing such asinine garbage. I'll take a turn, please.

  • http://www.eloquentscience.com EloquentScience

    Yup, makes total sense to me.

  • niblick77

    Even Obama, who was born in Kenya, does not have dual citizenship. She is a traitor.

  • grex1949

    I wonder if the Bachman kids have volunteered for service in the Swiss military. The Swiss have a universal draft, which applies to those with dual citizenship (however is apparently not employed for citizens residing in other countries, except in time of war). One would think that the appropriate course of action for a young half-Swiss citizen would be to man or woman-up and join the Swiss Army. I hear they issue really cool and useful knives to their soldiers, too.

    • GOPCrusher

      I read that since Michele has attained Swiss citizenship, she is eligible to run for public office.
      Maybe she plans to get into the White House by becoming the President of Switzerland and be invited as a visiting head of state?

  • GortRay

    Don't they have those sex change clinics in Switzerland? I think Michele's gonna get herself a schlong for Marcus's birthday!

  • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

    The National Review? That is the alleged publication that has to keep firing folks for people "outing" their staff's participation in white supremacist events, right?

  • lochnessmonster

    Not even worth a few keystrokes….oops!

  • owhatever

    I'll have whatever that guy is drinking.

  • Barrelhse

    Marky's thinking hasn't been quite right since his mother ran over his head while she was backing down the driveway, bless his heart.

  • DahBoner

    The fact…

    Wrong. National Review doesn't publish facts. Only lies, opinions and hatred to brainwash middle class idiots to vote Class Warfare…

  • horsedreamer_1

    Hey, Ankara, ye missed one.