AMERICA'S GREATEST PUNDITS  2:05 pm May 10, 2012

In Case It Wasn’t Clear, Michele Bachmann’s Dual Citizenship Is The Left’s Fault

by Jim Newell

You are missing part of your headYesterday we learned that Michele Bachmann is a spy for the Swiss government, intent on bringing down the United States of America from within. “Go for it,” we say. But on the Right, this is a cause for great consternation. Also, on the Right, this is all considered the Left’s fault. For an explanation, let’s turn to Mark Krikorian, one of the remaining white nationalists at the #1 internet blog, National Review‘s The Corner.

Krikorian, well — this guy knows how to drop a quote. There’s that time he urged people to avoid pronouncing Sonia Sotomayor’s name properly, and then that other time when he actually wrote the sentence, “My guess is that Haiti’s so screwed up because it wasn’t colonized long enough.” Now let’s add this to ye olde Wonkette archives:

The fact that even a patriot like Bachmann would do something like this is testament to how thoroughly the moral relativism of the post-national Left has permeated our culture.

My guess is that Krikorian’s so screwed up because everything.

[NRO via Kevin Drum]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 156 comments }

Barb May 10, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Michele Bachmann is just sucking up to the Swiss in the hopes of getting more votes in the "who's crazier than Sarah Palin" contest.

GeorgiaBurning May 10, 2012 at 2:22 pm

The watch is on, which flag pin will she wear? Will she get them mixed up? Actually, the Swiss one might do better when going after contributions.

Barb May 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Hello GeorgiaBurning!
About those flags….I think the guy who came up with the Japanese flag was just a lazy fat fuck.

GeorgiaBurning May 10, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Actually- he or she was following the principles of "design for manufacturing". It's pretty hard to screw up making one.

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 2:36 pm

You're right: people might confuse it for the Red Cross

philpjfry May 10, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I read what the loon said and I have one question. What?

MadBrahms May 10, 2012 at 4:12 pm

I had that one, but also "Who?"

Nostrildamus May 10, 2012 at 4:25 pm

"Whither?" was always my fave.

barto May 10, 2012 at 2:10 pm

My guess is that we should all mispronounce Krikeycorkanian's last name, forever.

nounverb911 May 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Kervorkian?

johnnymeatworth May 10, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Dorkian?

weejee May 10, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Mark Krackwhorin?

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 10, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Koch?

not that Dewey May 10, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Kraken?

Chill-A-Sketch May 10, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I read "Mark Klitorian," but then again, I'm a very twisted individual.

SorosBot May 10, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Kardashian?

Designer_Rants May 10, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Kumguzzlin?

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Throatwarblermangrove?

(It is, after all, International Monty Python Day)

Generation[redacted] May 10, 2012 at 2:38 pm

You misspelled Luxuryyacht.

Lascauxcaveman May 10, 2012 at 2:44 pm

In that case I'll pronounce it "Snivelinglittleratfacedgit."

starfanglednut May 10, 2012 at 2:49 pm

It is?! My nipples explode with delight.

el_donaldo May 10, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Creepy-and-boring?

Joshua Norton May 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm

The republican party pretty much peaked with Lincoln.

mull_man May 10, 2012 at 3:03 pm

what about TR? He was awsomeness in trousers. Bully!

Nostrildamus May 10, 2012 at 4:27 pm

That explains Mitt's childhood escapades! Trying to be TR.

chascates May 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm

If moral relativism had really permeated our culture Bachmann would have become a citizen of Iran.

Fukui-sanYesRadio May 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm

WOOHOO! We're post-national now! Is that like getting free long distance phone calls or something?

Judith_Priest May 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Odd. That means I, a Dirty Lefty, am more patriotic than Michelle "Commies under the bed!" Bachmann.

IncenseDebate May 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Krikorian should give himself the full Kervorkian.

FraAnima May 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Krikorian should go back to helping people kill themselves with drugs instead of boring words.

ChernobylSoup May 10, 2012 at 2:13 pm

"Benedict Arnold seduced by Radicals, Provides Secrets to the Crown!"

Preferred Customer May 10, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Benedict Arnold's treason was also properly blamed on the radical Left.

EatsBabyDingos May 10, 2012 at 2:13 pm

I assume this was an advertisement for Mental Swiss Cheese.

nounverb911 May 10, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Now with extra holes!

nounverb911 May 10, 2012 at 2:13 pm

I still say, deport the bitch!

johnnymeatworth May 10, 2012 at 2:13 pm

“My guess is that Haiti’s so screwed up because it wasn’t colonized long enough.”

By that same token, the USA didn't spend enough time under the thumb of King George III?

GeorgiaBurning May 10, 2012 at 2:19 pm

So, how does he explain Greece?

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 10, 2012 at 2:24 pm

They didn't spend enough time under the leadership of Hitler?

Fare la Volpe May 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Enlightened leadership, thank you.

UnholyMoses May 10, 2012 at 3:40 pm

No.

Why?

Because: WHITE PEOPLE!

Seriously — that's his argument. The U.S. had whites running things, while Haiti was predominantly teh blahs.

Q.E.D(umbass)

doloras May 10, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Having to pay 150 years of reparations to France for freeing the slaves didn't help much either.

Goonemeritus May 10, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Thy bones are marrowless, thy blood is cold.

Major Thom May 10, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Moral relativism is kinda like an Etch-a-Sketch. This might make the Mittens angry and he'll cut off your hair or something.

el_donaldo May 10, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Don't blame Mitt for that. It was the kid's fault. The fact that a boy could look that good … there's no way Mitt could not do something!

nounverb911 May 10, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Actually, isn't it Marcus' fault?

Poindexter718 May 10, 2012 at 2:14 pm

So Rep. Bachmann's going to escape moral relativism by going to … Switzerland?

MaxNeanderthal May 10, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Are you seriously telling me that demented hag may be in residence within 500 nautical miles of me? I note Switzerland has one of the highest home-ownerships of military-spec firearms in the world, which'll come in handy if I ever run into her harpy-ness on a ski slope somewhere….

Poindexter718 May 10, 2012 at 3:06 pm

We would all cheer for you in such a biathlon.
(PS: No offense intended with the implication of Swiss moral relativism; just seemed sort of a weird argument what with the assiduously cultivated reputation for neutrality and killer fondue.)

GOPCrusher May 10, 2012 at 3:34 pm

She's pretty fair complected (sp?). I imagine the harsh noonday sun of Mogadishu would be too much for her.

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Yes, because moral relativism includes chiding a multi-ethnic President about being a Muslim from Kenya.

freakishlywrong May 10, 2012 at 2:15 pm

The fuck is "post-national Left"?

SheriffRoscoe May 10, 2012 at 2:17 pm

They are words in English. That's about all I know.

MissTaken May 10, 2012 at 2:24 pm

I assume that a hot dog flavored cereal has left the building.

freakishlywrong May 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Oh dear. Gong! I had to read that twice, now I'm all a giggle.

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 2:35 pm

KOSHER LIBEL!

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm

We mail a lot of Priority Letters

MadBrahms May 10, 2012 at 4:21 pm

It's weird – he's… a protectionist, somehow? And thinks post-nationalism is the fault of "the Left"? That is one seriously confused man.

horsedreamer_1 May 12, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Bike paths?

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 2:16 pm

The fact that even a patriot like Bachmann would do something like this is testament to how thoroughly the moral relativism of the post-national Left has permeated our culture.

Uhhhh, Mark? I, um, think I might see a small, um, flaw in your construct.

Fukui-sanYesRadio May 10, 2012 at 2:23 pm

You can do it with all kinds

The fact that even a statesman like al-Assad would do something like this is testament to how thoroughly the moral relativism of the post-national Left has permeated our culture.

or

The fact that even a talented musician like Chris Brown would do something like this is testament to how thoroughly the moral relativism of the post-national Left has permeated our culture.

or

The fact that even a fine Christian woman like Tanning Mom would do something like this is testament to how thoroughly the moral relativism of the post-national Left has permeated our culture.

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Oh! Well, now it makes more sense!

Preferred Customer May 10, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Krikorian praises the Swiss for neutrality so staunch that even the Nazis left them alone. I would remind Mr. Krikorian that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.

LeAlbatross May 10, 2012 at 4:51 pm

The Nazis left the Swiss alone because you don't shoot your banker.

SheriffRoscoe May 10, 2012 at 2:16 pm

"….moral relativism of the post-national Left……"

There are too many words and concepts in that little phrase. My eyes glazed over because of all the nonsense.

Fare la Volpe May 10, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Never met a man who used that many words to say absolutely nothing.

sullivanst May 10, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Too many, and yet none at all.

Generation[redacted] May 10, 2012 at 2:41 pm

full of sound and vocabulary, signifying nothing.

RadioRehab May 10, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Who moved my cheese?

BaldarTFlagass May 10, 2012 at 2:17 pm

If she actually moves there, the German cantonments will be suggesting she live in the Italian cantonments, and Italian cantonments will be urging her to move to the French cantonments, and the French cantonments will be telling her that she'd probably be happier in ze German cantonments. "No, you take her."

Terry May 10, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Then, they'll all slide her down an Alpine hillside into Italy.

sullivanst May 10, 2012 at 2:37 pm

It seems the German-speakers were uncharacteristically inefficient, as apparently Thurgau was left holding the baby.

LettucePrey May 10, 2012 at 2:17 pm

'Cheley didn't give up her U.S. citizenship, did she? So what is this Kardashian dude fapping from his bunghole? Again, also, too.

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 2:28 pm

That's the beauty of dual-citizenship: unless you actually renounce your American citizenship (running for elective office might count) you get to keep both

Designer_Rants May 10, 2012 at 2:17 pm

So the post-lobotomy wingnut writers have made up a new word? What does "post-national Left" mean? I haz a confused.

CommieLibunatic May 10, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I think they mean to imply that we don't love America as much as we used to? Like we never talk with America anymore, opting instead just to eat some pizza, watch the news, and go to sleep.

Designer_Rants May 10, 2012 at 3:22 pm

mmm. Pizza.

horsedreamer_1 May 12, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Imagine an entire domicile constructed of pizza. I think it would properly be called PIZZA HOUSE!

Designer_Rants May 12, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Oh dear, that would be something. What about an entire structure constructed of waffles? I think it would be called WAFFLE BUILDING!

not that Dewey May 10, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I can't afford Post Nationals, so I usually just buy the house-brand "American-Os"

SayItWithWookies May 10, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Whenever a GOPer gets caught sexting underage boys or a fundamentalist minister is found dead, wrapped in twine with a dildo up his wet-suited ass, Krakonlian drags that sentence out, changes the particular name and congratulates himself on being an astute culture warrior.

Fukui-sanYesRadio May 10, 2012 at 2:29 pm

He's cultured like yersinia pestis, yo.

BaldarTFlagass May 10, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Well, I was going to be real pissed off at the right if that Baldwin guy had actually moved to Canada after Bush "won" the second time, so I reckon I can't blame them for being pissed off.

rickmaci May 10, 2012 at 2:19 pm

So does this mean that 'chele is no longer invited to the tea party?

ChernobylSoup May 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Seems she's more of a hot cocoaist now.

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 2:29 pm

She has to bring the Swiss Miss

Mittens Howell, III May 10, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Michele's still invited, as long as she brings Marcus. (He bakes the most delicious Ladyfingers!)

GOPCrusher May 10, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Yeah, that was my first thought when I read about this. Those "Patriots" must be in full head exploding over this turn of events.

mormos May 10, 2012 at 2:19 pm

wait… what?

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 10, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Hey, this is Pulitzer Prize nominee worthy blabber you are talking about.

RedneckMuslin May 10, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Oh shucks, we'd love to take credit for her moving to Swissland, but we really shouldn't.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 10, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Can we also assume that Newt Gingrich's serial divorces are the fault of the Left? Or Gov. Perry's inability to speak coherient sentences? Or Mitt Romney's desire to bankrupt businesses?

Preferred Customer May 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Post-matrimonial Left, post-lingual Left, and post-financial Left, respectively.

Terry May 10, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Only if we can blame John Edward's affair with Rielle Hunter on the right.

Mittens Howell, III May 10, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Krikorian for Veep, please.

BlueStateLibel May 10, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Virtually nothing these cons say ever make sense to me …Bachmann is such a conservative and was so undone by the Left in this country that she's decided to take up citizenship in a country …even more to the Left?

littlebigdaddy May 10, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Go back to fucking Ingushetia, Krikorian.

Blueb4sunrise May 10, 2012 at 2:23 pm

re: alt text
No forceps handy, but vice-grips were.

SheriffRoscoe May 10, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Dude's got a dent in his head. Maybe that explains everything.

MaxUdargo May 10, 2012 at 4:52 pm

His head starts in one direction, but then turns in another.

DaRooster May 10, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Now, if only we could get the rest of the lunatic, bible thumping, holier than thou fucks to go somewhere/anywhere else…

MaxNeanderthal May 10, 2012 at 2:41 pm

There are several trenches in the Pacific in need of filling up…..

RavenRant May 10, 2012 at 2:52 pm

I'm encouraging them all to Go Galt and/or get Raptured forthwith. They are way past their sell-by date.

OurDailyBread May 10, 2012 at 9:10 pm

I have a very nice handbasket they can travel in.

GeorgiaBurning May 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

I though moral relativism was the cornerstone of the Republican party.

RavenRant May 10, 2012 at 2:53 pm

I think amoral rapacity is more their line.

Mittens Howell, III May 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Keep fucking that moral relativist, post-national chicken.

EatsBabyDingos May 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Marcus announced he had applied for citizenship at the new space colony mining facility. He is now a citizen of "Uranus Ore Mine."

Designer_Rants May 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Sounds like the post-rational right is lookin' to string them up a commie turncoat.

RavenRant May 10, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Post-rational. Upfist!

SorosBot May 10, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Moral relativism is one of those phrases that the right loves to throw around as an insult that means absolutely nothing.

Blueb4sunrise May 10, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Well, it depends…..

doloras May 10, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Which is hilarious, because IOKIYAR is the perfect expression of moral relativism.

FakaktaSouth May 10, 2012 at 2:27 pm

"The fact that even a patriot like Bachmann would do something like this is testament to how thoroughly the moral relativism of the post-national Left has permeated our culture."

She is fleeing pressures from the left by going to a place where they actually get their way? That's like me saying, I am sick of right wing fundamentalism in Alabama so I am moving to Iran. It kinda goes along with her farm subsidies, entire career of government jobs and foster care grifting – but shit girl, come ON.

Steverino247 May 10, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Obviously, the Swiss have seen Michele's brain scan results.

Radiologists said: "Swiss cheese!"

BaldarTFlagass May 10, 2012 at 2:28 pm

She just liked that no-minaret rule they passed last year. Figured the whole country was full of her fellow-travellers.

Eve8Apples May 10, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Old Crazy Eyes just wants to take advantage of that Switzerland style NObamacare.

From the NYT September 18, 2009….

"In 1996, Switzerland instituted an individual mandate by which people are legally required to purchase health insurance in a competitive market. People buy coverage from private insurers, and the government provides subsidies for those who can’t afford coverage. About a third of the population receives subsidies."

Barrelhse May 10, 2012 at 9:33 pm

I can't believe the coincidence- I was just reading the Sept.18, 2009 NYT myself!

Fare la Volpe May 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm

You know who else hated moral relativism and blamed everything on his vaguely defined political rivals?

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 2:34 pm

J. Edgar Hoover?

Fukui-sanYesRadio May 10, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Old testament Jehovah?

AlterNewt May 10, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Verily, man.

Mittens Howell, III May 10, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Joe the Plumber?

sezme May 10, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Yahweh?

Veritas78 May 10, 2012 at 7:24 pm

I know this! Yippee yay, I actually know the answer to one of these!!!

It's Santorum, right? 'Cuz there couldn't be anyone else.

What do I win?

horsedreamer_1 May 12, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Reagan?

Guppy May 10, 2012 at 2:32 pm

He does realize that we're talking about Switzerland and not Rhodesia, right?

gunnergoz May 10, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Why shouldn't she become a citizen of where most of her wealth probably is banked?

Come here a minute May 10, 2012 at 2:35 pm

I can only blame myself for Mark Krikorian being a fucking idiot.

prommie May 10, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Of course, its well-known that Switzerland is a deeply religious, theocratic state known for its pious, morally upright people! An American conservative would feel so at home there, with the registered heroin addicts, legal abortion, welfare, socialized medicine, pensions, yes, so at home, much better than the USA and its secular liberals.

I'm surprised Bachmann didn't take French citizenship.

Eve8Apples May 10, 2012 at 2:42 pm

When I heard about Bachmann's Swiss citizenship, I thought, "Why not Cuba? It's closer to Minnesota?" Castro probably rejected her application.

JustPixelz May 10, 2012 at 2:37 pm

The fact that even a patriot someone with anti-American views like Bachmann would do something like this is testament to how thoroughly the moral relativism of the post-national Left Tea Party has permeated our culture.

–fixed

ttommyunger May 10, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Inane psychobabble libel.

mrblifil May 10, 2012 at 2:37 pm

He has a point, after all she is gay-married too. Also.

Fairtackle May 10, 2012 at 2:38 pm

A clear example of the rational relativism of the post-intellectual right.

widestanceromance May 10, 2012 at 2:39 pm

It's all a big laugh for you Wonketteers, but when you hear that Riccola Horn* signaling the imposition of Riccolian Law, it won't be so damn funny.

*as seen on tv

SmutBoffin May 10, 2012 at 2:40 pm

The Wonkette Word of the Day is bioinspired.

As in "The design of Krikorian's head is bioinspired; it reproduces the aerodynamics of a lumpy potato."

Fukui-sanYesRadio May 10, 2012 at 2:49 pm

The fact that even a Pulitzer-nominated writer like Krikorian would have a head like a dented potato is testament to how thoroughly the tuberist aerodynamicism of the post-bioinspirational Left has permeated our culture.

ManchuCandidate May 10, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Is he the 5th Kardashian?

He'd fit right in.

CommieLibunatic May 10, 2012 at 2:44 pm

So much for all that "personal responsibility" I hear from the GOP cheerleaders so often.

starfanglednut May 10, 2012 at 2:50 pm

That guy seriously looks like he has fetal alcohol syndrome.

Which would explain a lot.

NYNYNYjr May 10, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Just a question for a journalist, b/c I don't think this will be on google: How many members of Congress have dual citizenship? She can't be the only one…who are the others, what are their countries? I mean, it seems like a good fact to know in case interest gets conflicting: see former president of Peru Fujimori, re: hiding in Japan.

OneYieldRegular May 10, 2012 at 2:58 pm

The Swiss are aware, aren't they, that this is someone so deranged that, presented with Barack Obama and George Dubya Bush, she chose to lock lips with the latter?

metamarcisf May 10, 2012 at 3:02 pm

One commentor wrote: "Unless Switzerland and the US go to war, where is the conflict?"

Kenya, that's another story.

Dildeaux May 10, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Hubby Marcus prefers Swiss manscapes to the dry, barren, cracked plains of home.

HippieEsq May 10, 2012 at 3:08 pm

He seems to have a big dent in the right side of his face. I gather, then, that he gets kicked in the side of the head daily for saying/writing such asinine garbage. I'll take a turn, please.

EloquentScience May 10, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Yup, makes total sense to me.

niblick77 May 10, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Even Obama, who was born in Kenya, does not have dual citizenship. She is a traitor.

grex1949 May 10, 2012 at 3:30 pm

I wonder if the Bachman kids have volunteered for service in the Swiss military. The Swiss have a universal draft, which applies to those with dual citizenship (however is apparently not employed for citizens residing in other countries, except in time of war). One would think that the appropriate course of action for a young half-Swiss citizen would be to man or woman-up and join the Swiss Army. I hear they issue really cool and useful knives to their soldiers, too.

GOPCrusher May 10, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I read that since Michele has attained Swiss citizenship, she is eligible to run for public office.
Maybe she plans to get into the White House by becoming the President of Switzerland and be invited as a visiting head of state?

GortRay May 10, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Don't they have those sex change clinics in Switzerland? I think Michele's gonna get herself a schlong for Marcus's birthday!

glamourdammerung May 10, 2012 at 4:36 pm

The National Review? That is the alleged publication that has to keep firing folks for people "outing" their staff's participation in white supremacist events, right?

lochnessmonster May 10, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Not even worth a few keystrokes….oops!

owhatever May 10, 2012 at 6:05 pm

I'll have whatever that guy is drinking.

Barrelhse May 10, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Marky's thinking hasn't been quite right since his mother ran over his head while she was backing down the driveway, bless his heart.

DahBoner May 11, 2012 at 9:39 am

The fact…

Wrong. National Review doesn't publish facts. Only lies, opinions and hatred to brainwash middle class idiots to vote Class Warfare…

horsedreamer_1 May 12, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Hey, Ankara, ye missed one.

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