THIS GUY  1:37 pm May 10, 2012

Chris Christie Sends Obamacare Back To Kitchen

by Jim Newell

Tear down this wall!... oh wait, no, don'tThe rightful good Governor Sandwiches of New Jersey, after weeks of speculation about whether he would veto a bill setting up Obamacare health exchanges in his state, has obviously done that. Now hundreds of thousands of people in New Jersey, lest the feddy gov step in, will have to continue receiving health care by their traditional method of rubbing grease on their bums and doing heroin. What else was Christie to do, though? The Obamacare legal atmosphere is too uncertain to be… doin’ stuff… also *cough cough* vice president *cough* *vomit*.

From NJ.com:

“While I appreciate the Legislature’s attempt to find steady policy footing in these shifting legal sands, I am concerned that a hastily created exchange in New Jersey will impose unnecessary obligations upon the state’s citizens,” according to the governor’s veto statement released today.

“I believe the better course of action for New Jersey is to continue to monitor the ever-changing landscape surrounding the implementation of the Affordable Care Act, and to refrain from imposing its mandates upon our citizens until outstanding issues are settled and the required course if action is clear,” according to the statement.

So it’s a timing issue? Then he’ll surely put them in place immediately after the court makes its decision, if that decision is to uphold. But then vice presidents aren’t be picked until late August, so… well, more shifty sands, there. (Of course, to never set up the exchanges means that the federal government will do it instead and we can’t imagine many Republican governors want that, what with the lack of sovereignty. But try explaining that to their bases, who don’t listen to human words.)

Also too:

Christie has already taken preliminary steps to form an exchanges by successfully applying for $8.7 million in planning and research grants from the Obama administration. It is unclear what will happen to that money.

Oh, just examine the revenues at central-Jersey Sizzler restaurants over the past couple of months, you should find it there.

[NJ.com]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 97 comments }

Barb May 10, 2012 at 1:39 pm

He spent the 8.7 million dollars to change the state motto to:

New Jersey, the Olive Garden State

nounverb911 May 10, 2012 at 1:41 pm

We New Yorkers always referred to Joisey as the "Garbage State".

Baconzgood May 10, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Every one referres to Jersey as the garbage state.

mookwrthwilson May 10, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Yet it's New York's garbage that gets shipped there because Staten Island is now full…

not that Dewey May 10, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Fresh Kills ain't so fresh anymore.

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 2:04 pm

That wasn't about the smell, that was about the state of decomposition of the stoolies.

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 2:01 pm

WEST VIRGINIA LIBEL!

(Jersey closed that down years ago)

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 2:00 pm

o/~ Oh-oh, smell can you see…… o/~

Major Thom May 10, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I'm from Joisey. I hope your Rangers go down bigtime. So there.

mookwrthwilson May 10, 2012 at 3:52 pm

I'm from Joisey too…but I hope the Rangers first take care of the Caps, and then sweep the Satans.

Barb May 10, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Mook, I am still heartbroken over the Flyers losing. I dreaded the prospect of playing the Rangers because I know that the Rangers are a superior team.

johnnymeatworth May 10, 2012 at 2:01 pm

A breadstick in every wicker basket….

Nostrildamus May 10, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Off to Urban Dictionary…

nounverb911 May 10, 2012 at 1:39 pm

"Chris Christie Sends Obamacare Back To Kitchen"
Was it under cooked? Did the chef spit on it?

Generation[redacted] May 10, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Too healthy. Needz moar pink slime.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 10, 2012 at 2:08 pm

The chef was Near

Wile E. Quixote May 10, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Fat bastard is all fat-bastardy.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 10, 2012 at 1:42 pm

If there is anyone who knows about how to be healthy, it is Chris Christie.

Oblios_Cap May 10, 2012 at 2:37 pm

He's not even sure if he has a penis anymore.

weejee May 10, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Alt text should read "Proof positive Buffet King Governor Christiecakes hasn't seen his dick in years."

BaldarTFlagass May 10, 2012 at 1:43 pm

"It is unclear what will happen to that money."

It's fucking Jersey. I'll hazard a guess.

Oblios_Cap May 10, 2012 at 2:37 pm

We never got it. The truck must have been hijacked?!

el_donaldo May 10, 2012 at 1:43 pm

But look at who has been sneaking into Christie's house and taking his sandwiches.

DaRooster May 10, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Like a little fucking kid-
"Of course I want you buy me an ice cream… you stupid bitch!"

Fuck you, you fat fuck.

ManchuCandidate May 10, 2012 at 1:43 pm

It's okay Christie. No one wants to see "Mitt And the Fat Man."

nounverb911 May 10, 2012 at 1:53 pm

That was on ABC a few years ago?

Baconzgood May 10, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Way to do nuthing. Keep up the good not work.

Maman May 10, 2012 at 1:44 pm

He just wants the citizens of New Jersey to enjoy the same level of health that he has. Whether they want it or not.

MissTaken May 10, 2012 at 1:44 pm

That poor wall.

DaRooster May 10, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Is that why it is wailing?

nounverb911 May 10, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Whaling.

bobloblawlawblg May 10, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Whaling Wall should indeed have been the alt tex. Nicely played.

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 2:02 pm

You'll notice the wall is leaning into Christie, proof positive he's so fat, he has a gravity field around him

SmutBoffin May 10, 2012 at 1:44 pm

DONT LEAN SO HEAVILY ON THE MAGIC WALL GOV MCLARGE HUGE OH NO ITS FALLING

BaldarTFlagass May 10, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I see what he did there, "shifting sands" indeed. We used to play that game when I was kid when we wanted to cuss but there was an authority figure present.

"Aw, man, shut the f…ront door!"
"Dude, you're full of shi…fting sands!"

Rosie_Scenario May 10, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Sorry, but when I see that photo it looks like Christie is taking a whizz.

terriblyfamous May 10, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Yeah. After stumbling drunk away from a bar. At 10:00 in the morning.

Nostrildamus May 10, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Given Christie's diet, there is no time of the day he's not.

bumfug May 10, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I guess one of the "unnecessary obligations" Obamacare would impose is the obligation to not die in a timely manner, thus causing an inconvenience to the job creators on their way to the country club.

GuyClinch May 10, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Well, at least the Republicans are working on an alternative to Obamacare, should it be struck down…. Oh, wait http://thehill.com/blogs/healthwatch/politics-ele

I suppose NJ citizens w/o insurance could just wear a giant fat suit, act like an asshole and pretend to be Christie when they need to see a doctor?

James Michael Curley May 10, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Mandate healthcare on the state level is an unconstitutional intrusion into your life, but mandated limitations on whether you can sue your healthcare provider for malpractice is not.

Not_So_Much May 10, 2012 at 1:46 pm

He wants him a Soylent Green sammich now!!

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 2:05 pm

And make it all BABY!

tessiee May 10, 2012 at 2:28 pm

"GET IN MAH BELLY!!!"

ifthethunderdontgetya May 10, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Die of a heart attack already, ya fat fuck.
~

MissTaken May 10, 2012 at 1:46 pm

It is unclear what will happen to that money.

To be fair, it does cost $8.7 million to get 'Governor' stitched on a yarmulke. http://wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/ch

chascates May 10, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Needs moar bariatric surgery.

PubOption May 10, 2012 at 1:49 pm

I see that Christie is pandering to the Jewish voters in the photo. But will the Orthodox vote for a lardass?

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 2:10 pm

It's Kosher, they can.

tessiee May 10, 2012 at 2:29 pm

"will the Orthodox vote for a lardass?"

Of course not. Don't be silly; lard is pork.

SayItWithWookies May 10, 2012 at 1:49 pm

If Mitt picks his running mate like a bride picks her bridesmaids, he'll look for someone stupider, meaner and fatter than he is — so Christie's a perfect choice. And the Federal government coming in and heavy-handedly enslaving the people of New Jersey with healthcare options — well that's an issue he wouldn't dare take off the table.

littlebigdaddy May 10, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Fatty Arbuckle's looking a little less rapey these days.

widestanceromance May 10, 2012 at 1:49 pm

This wrecking ball of a man is not fit to run a. . .actually he's just not fit for anything.

ChernobylSoup May 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm

He wants to make sure the plan will cover Type 114 Diabetes.

barto May 10, 2012 at 1:52 pm

OK wall I"m gone eat chew now!

DaRooster May 10, 2012 at 1:52 pm

"…$8.7 million in planning and research…"

More "planning and research" dollars… forget fixing problems… let's just sit around and shoot the shit about it. Fuck I am so sick of this wasteful BS.

proudgrampa May 10, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I have never understood New Jersey politics.

mormos May 10, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Not the vp Romney needs, but the vp Romney deserves!
You know what else Romney deserves?

RedneckMuslin May 10, 2012 at 1:58 pm

A shaved head?

Boojum May 10, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Anal warts?

terriblyfamous May 10, 2012 at 2:54 pm

To miss recess?

Blueb4sunrise May 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Pigs deserve to turn around.

Designer_Rants May 10, 2012 at 2:12 pm

He can! It just takes so long you don't notice… like a cargo ship.

ThundercatHo May 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Just think how many polar bears that fat fuck could feed.

Boojum May 10, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Feed, nothing! They could float on him!

BaldarTFlagass May 10, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Maybe Christie is what Joe Biden was referring to being a "big fucking deal."

Baconzgood May 10, 2012 at 1:59 pm

He's the only man that ate the Denny's Beer Barrel Belly Bruiser.

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Only because he ate the entire frikkin' Denny's

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 1:59 pm

I t'ink some of my frens ovah in Joisey oughts ta make Gov Chrissie Donuts squeals like a pig.

BaldarTFlagass May 10, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Leave the wall, get the cannoli.

Mittens Howell, III May 10, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Naked Scott Brown pic followed by one of Gov. Christie practicing his sexy moves on a wall!

Very touching, Wonkette, your sweet bi-partisan celebration of Obama's support for gay marriage.

ElPinche May 10, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Your move, diabetes.

Mittens Howell, III May 10, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Oh, the sads–when Prince Buttocks finds prayer notes in the wall, and not cheese burgers.

Joshua Norton May 10, 2012 at 2:09 pm

I've heard Chris Cristie has an Entimann's factory in his basement.

not that Dewey May 10, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Christie has already taken preliminary steps

I don't believe you.

dadanarchist May 10, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Who knew someone so fat would have so few guts?

cheeseholm May 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm

I always read his name as Governor Chris Crisco.

ttommyunger May 10, 2012 at 2:34 pm

"Well, I don't believe the blah, blah, should blah, blah the fine citizens of blah, blah, and as a result I have decided study the blah blah so that blah blah." Shorter version, FIXED!

Oblios_Cap May 10, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Fat Chris just doesn't fit him. Maybe Big Pussy would be a better moniker.

tessiee May 10, 2012 at 2:47 pm

"Now hundreds of thousands of people in New Jersey, lest the feddy gov step in, will have to continue receiving health care by their traditional method of rubbing grease on their bums and doing heroin."

God damn lie.
Our traditional methods are eating zeppoles and Taylor Ham.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pork_roll

YasserArraFeck May 10, 2012 at 2:51 pm

….At the Whaling Wall……

Aridzona May 10, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Cut Christie some slack. He just seas food differently.

ElPinche May 10, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Christie needs as much slack as he can get. He can't even shop at Old Navy (nothing over size 42W)

rickmaci May 10, 2012 at 3:02 pm

"Chris Christie Sends Obamacare Back To Kitchen"

Jabba probably thought he saw some curly strands of gray hair on his mandate plate.

Arken May 10, 2012 at 3:28 pm

"rubbing grease on their bums"

Hey pal, this is AMERICA. You better be talking about HOBOS.

MrFizzy May 11, 2012 at 7:28 am

Hoboican Americans.

elburritodeluxe May 10, 2012 at 3:34 pm

There is no Sizzler in New Jersey, Mr. Newell.

Governor Christie ate it.

VespulaMaculata May 10, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Wanna stop feeling sorry for yourself today? -Some human being actually has the job of laundering Christie's underwear …and it's not you. And how good a reach-around job do you think Chris manages with the Charmin'…?

valthemus May 10, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Weren't health care exchanges a Republican idea? Why does Christie hate Republicans? That un-American commie bastard! Recall!

Nostrildamus May 10, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Christie has already taken preliminary steps to form an exchanges by successfully applying for $8.7 million in planning and research grants from the Obama administration. It is unclear what will happen to that money.

Pizza. A year's supply.

Walkinwiddaking May 10, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Jesus, he looks like Fatty Arbuckle's great great grand love child.

Schmegeg May 10, 2012 at 7:26 pm

When he suffers a heart attack and the EMTs cant find his insurance card, they can take him to some crack whore hospital.

fuflans May 11, 2012 at 12:07 am

i just can't get past:

dude. is. fat.

DahBoner May 11, 2012 at 9:41 am

In NJ: ALL OBAMACARE PATIENTS ENTER THROUGH BACK DOOR

Tricky_Dick May 11, 2012 at 1:39 pm

He is only against Obamacare because it excludes lipo suction for fat fucks. Sour grapes from the fat ass Gov. I do hear that SlimFast is reimbursable however Go figure…

outragedcitizen May 11, 2012 at 4:09 pm

The picture looks like Fatty Arbuckle is trying to get his grapefruit-sized prostrate to relax enough for him to pee.

vaurora May 11, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Hey Wonkette, surely you are creative enough to come up with something other than fat-hating jokes about Chris Christie? It's his politics that are the problem, not his weight.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: