Tear down this wall!... oh wait, no, don'tThe rightful good Governor Sandwiches of New Jersey, after weeks of speculation about whether he would veto a bill setting up Obamacare health exchanges in his state, has obviously done that. Now hundreds of thousands of people in New Jersey, lest the feddy gov step in, will have to continue receiving health care by their traditional method of rubbing grease on their bums and doing heroin. What else was Christie to do, though? The Obamacare legal atmosphere is too uncertain to be… doin’ stuff… also *cough cough* vice president *cough* *vomit*.


“While I appreciate the Legislature’s attempt to find steady policy footing in these shifting legal sands, I am concerned that a hastily created exchange in New Jersey will impose unnecessary obligations upon the state’s citizens,” according to the governor’s veto statement released today.

“I believe the better course of action for New Jersey is to continue to monitor the ever-changing landscape surrounding the implementation of the Affordable Care Act, and to refrain from imposing its mandates upon our citizens until outstanding issues are settled and the required course if action is clear,” according to the statement.

So it’s a timing issue? Then he’ll surely put them in place immediately after the court makes its decision, if that decision is to uphold. But then vice presidents aren’t be picked until late August, so… well, more shifty sands, there. (Of course, to never set up the exchanges means that the federal government will do it instead and we can’t imagine many Republican governors want that, what with the lack of sovereignty. But try explaining that to their bases, who don’t listen to human words.)

Also too:

Christie has already taken preliminary steps to form an exchanges by successfully applying for $8.7 million in planning and research grants from the Obama administration. It is unclear what will happen to that money.

Oh, just examine the revenues at central-Jersey Sizzler restaurants over the past couple of months, you should find it there.


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  • Barb

    He spent the 8.7 million dollars to change the state motto to:

    New Jersey, the Olive Garden State

  • nounverb911

    "Chris Christie Sends Obamacare Back To Kitchen"
    Was it under cooked? Did the chef spit on it?

    • Generation[redacted]

      Too healthy. Needz moar pink slime.

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      The chef was Near

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Fat bastard is all fat-bastardy.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    If there is anyone who knows about how to be healthy, it is Chris Christie.

    • Oblios_Cap

      He's not even sure if he has a penis anymore.

  • Alt text should read "Proof positive Buffet King Governor Christiecakes hasn't seen his dick in years."

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "It is unclear what will happen to that money."

    It's fucking Jersey. I'll hazard a guess.

    • Oblios_Cap

      We never got it. The truck must have been hijacked?!

  • el_donaldo

    But look at who has been sneaking into Christie's house and taking his sandwiches.

  • DaRooster

    Like a little fucking kid-
    "Of course I want you buy me an ice cream… you stupid bitch!"

    Fuck you, you fat fuck.

  • It's okay Christie. No one wants to see "Mitt And the Fat Man."

    • nounverb911

      That was on ABC a few years ago?

  • Baconzgood

    Way to do nuthing. Keep up the good not work.

  • He just wants the citizens of New Jersey to enjoy the same level of health that he has. Whether they want it or not.

  • MissTaken

    That poor wall.

    • DaRooster

      Is that why it is wailing?

      • nounverb911


        • bobloblawlawblg

          Whaling Wall should indeed have been the alt tex. Nicely played.

    • You'll notice the wall is leaning into Christie, proof positive he's so fat, he has a gravity field around him

  • SmutBoffin


  • BaldarTFlagass

    I see what he did there, "shifting sands" indeed. We used to play that game when I was kid when we wanted to cuss but there was an authority figure present.

    "Aw, man, shut the f…ront door!"
    "Dude, you're full of shi…fting sands!"

  • Rosie_Scenario

    Sorry, but when I see that photo it looks like Christie is taking a whizz.

    • terriblyfamous

      Yeah. After stumbling drunk away from a bar. At 10:00 in the morning.

    • Nostrildamus

      Given Christie's diet, there is no time of the day he's not.

  • bumfug

    I guess one of the "unnecessary obligations" Obamacare would impose is the obligation to not die in a timely manner, thus causing an inconvenience to the job creators on their way to the country club.

  • Well, at least the Republicans are working on an alternative to Obamacare, should it be struck down…. Oh, wait

    I suppose NJ citizens w/o insurance could just wear a giant fat suit, act like an asshole and pretend to be Christie when they need to see a doctor?

    • James Michael Curley

      Mandate healthcare on the state level is an unconstitutional intrusion into your life, but mandated limitations on whether you can sue your healthcare provider for malpractice is not.

  • Not_So_Much

    He wants him a Soylent Green sammich now!!

    • And make it all BABY!

      • tessiee

        "GET IN MAH BELLY!!!"

  • Die of a heart attack already, ya fat fuck.

  • MissTaken

    It is unclear what will happen to that money.

    To be fair, it does cost $8.7 million to get 'Governor' stitched on a yarmulke.

  • chascates

    Needs moar bariatric surgery.

  • PubOption

    I see that Christie is pandering to the Jewish voters in the photo. But will the Orthodox vote for a lardass?

    • It's Kosher, they can.

    • tessiee

      "will the Orthodox vote for a lardass?"

      Of course not. Don't be silly; lard is pork.

  • SayItWithWookies

    If Mitt picks his running mate like a bride picks her bridesmaids, he'll look for someone stupider, meaner and fatter than he is — so Christie's a perfect choice. And the Federal government coming in and heavy-handedly enslaving the people of New Jersey with healthcare options — well that's an issue he wouldn't dare take off the table.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Fatty Arbuckle's looking a little less rapey these days.

  • widestanceromance

    This wrecking ball of a man is not fit to run a. . .actually he's just not fit for anything.

  • ChernobylSoup

    He wants to make sure the plan will cover Type 114 Diabetes.

  • barto

    OK wall I"m gone eat chew now!

  • DaRooster

    "…$8.7 million in planning and research…"

    More "planning and research" dollars… forget fixing problems… let's just sit around and shoot the shit about it. Fuck I am so sick of this wasteful BS.

  • proudgrampa

    I have never understood New Jersey politics.

  • mormos

    Not the vp Romney needs, but the vp Romney deserves!
    You know what else Romney deserves?

    • RedneckMuslin

      A shaved head?

    • Boojum

      Anal warts?

    • terriblyfamous

      To miss recess?

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Pigs deserve to turn around.

    • He can! It just takes so long you don't notice… like a cargo ship.

  • ThundercatHo

    Just think how many polar bears that fat fuck could feed.

    • Boojum

      Feed, nothing! They could float on him!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Maybe Christie is what Joe Biden was referring to being a "big fucking deal."

  • Baconzgood

    He's the only man that ate the Denny's Beer Barrel Belly Bruiser.

    • Only because he ate the entire frikkin' Denny's

  • I t'ink some of my frens ovah in Joisey oughts ta make Gov Chrissie Donuts squeals like a pig.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Leave the wall, get the cannoli.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Naked Scott Brown pic followed by one of Gov. Christie practicing his sexy moves on a wall!

    Very touching, Wonkette, your sweet bi-partisan celebration of Obama's support for gay marriage.

  • ElPinche

    Your move, diabetes.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Oh, the sads–when Prince Buttocks finds prayer notes in the wall, and not cheese burgers.

  • I've heard Chris Cristie has an Entimann's factory in his basement.

  • not that Dewey

    Christie has already taken preliminary steps

    I don't believe you.

  • dadanarchist

    Who knew someone so fat would have so few guts?

  • cheeseholm

    I always read his name as Governor Chris Crisco.

  • ttommyunger

    "Well, I don't believe the blah, blah, should blah, blah the fine citizens of blah, blah, and as a result I have decided study the blah blah so that blah blah." Shorter version, FIXED!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Fat Chris just doesn't fit him. Maybe Big Pussy would be a better moniker.

  • tessiee

    "Now hundreds of thousands of people in New Jersey, lest the feddy gov step in, will have to continue receiving health care by their traditional method of rubbing grease on their bums and doing heroin."

    God damn lie.
    Our traditional methods are eating zeppoles and Taylor Ham.

  • YasserArraFeck

    ….At the Whaling Wall……

  • Aridzona

    Cut Christie some slack. He just seas food differently.

    • ElPinche

      Christie needs as much slack as he can get. He can't even shop at Old Navy (nothing over size 42W)

  • rickmaci

    "Chris Christie Sends Obamacare Back To Kitchen"

    Jabba probably thought he saw some curly strands of gray hair on his mandate plate.

  • Arken

    "rubbing grease on their bums"

    Hey pal, this is AMERICA. You better be talking about HOBOS.

    • MrFizzy

      Hoboican Americans.

  • elburritodeluxe

    There is no Sizzler in New Jersey, Mr. Newell.

    Governor Christie ate it.

  • VespulaMaculata

    Wanna stop feeling sorry for yourself today? -Some human being actually has the job of laundering Christie's underwear …and it's not you. And how good a reach-around job do you think Chris manages with the Charmin'…?

  • Weren't health care exchanges a Republican idea? Why does Christie hate Republicans? That un-American commie bastard! Recall!

  • Nostrildamus

    Christie has already taken preliminary steps to form an exchanges by successfully applying for $8.7 million in planning and research grants from the Obama administration. It is unclear what will happen to that money.

    Pizza. A year's supply.

  • Walkinwiddaking

    Jesus, he looks like Fatty Arbuckle's great great grand love child.

  • Schmegeg

    When he suffers a heart attack and the EMTs cant find his insurance card, they can take him to some crack whore hospital.

  • fuflans

    i just can't get past:

    dude. is. fat.

  • DahBoner


  • Tricky_Dick

    He is only against Obamacare because it excludes lipo suction for fat fucks. Sour grapes from the fat ass Gov. I do hear that SlimFast is reimbursable however Go figure…

  • The picture looks like Fatty Arbuckle is trying to get his grapefruit-sized prostrate to relax enough for him to pee.

  • vaurora

    Hey Wonkette, surely you are creative enough to come up with something other than fat-hating jokes about Chris Christie? It's his politics that are the problem, not his weight.

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