After a man went on television for a very low-profile announcement that he is now back to feeling about gay marriage the way he felt in the fun 90s, the world erupted in praise … and backhanded praise and faint praise and no praise AT ALL! You are surprised, we know. Jim Daly, the boss of some Christian society called CitizenLink, decided to put up this lovely picture of two blonde straight people marrying on his blog, Finding Home, a blog for those of all sexual persuasions who forget where they live after a night of drinking at a strip club. Elsewhere, the Log Cabin Republicans implied that if Obama was a real leader of America, he would be looking at his calendar and seeing that North Carolina just banned same-sex marriage the very day he decided he now supports same-sex marriage (again), and how rude of him to distract people from this step backwards with his two-or-so steps forward. Somewhere in a desert, probably completely unaware of Obama’s special time, Romney declared that same-sex marriage is not an “issue of significance.” Plus, Rick Santorum needs cash.
Here are some more fun words.
Rick Santorum (whose website reads THANK YOU. WE STILL NEED YOUR HELP. DONATE):
The announcement today by President Obama should come as no surprise to the American public. President Obama has consistently fought against protecting the institution of marriage from radical social engineering at both the state and federal level…Thankfully the American public, when it has had an opportunity to consider the real world consequences of such a fundamental change to our society, has consistently voted for maintaining one man one woman marriage – the basic building block of our society. I will continue to fight to make sure that the cultural elites don’t further undermine the institution that gives the best opportunity for healthy, happy children and a just and prosperous society.
Cue some cynic at the Daily Beast:
Denying marriage rights to same-sex couples inflicts real harm on real people, while doing nothing to prevent the deterioration of marriage among non-affluent Americans.
Presumably straight people are also being “socially engineered” to hate each other by…Obama? Cheetos? Buddhism?
CitizenLink, which is an affiliate of Focus on the Family, decided to just mainly talk about North Carolina’s “progress” yesterday and to just also politely add that anyone who agrees with Obama is basically A SHITTY CHRISTIAN:
This is obviously a hot-button political issue on which there is much disagreement nationwide, and people of good faith will come to different conclusions.
Here’s the always rewarding Bryan J. Fischer, a big shot at the American Family Association:
Shep Smith says Obama now in “21st century.” He’s right, except it’s 21st century BC: time of Sodom and Gomorrah.
— Bryan Fischer (@BryanJFischer) May 10, 2012
One guy looked it up in the dictionary and nope, Obama is wrong.
Even the dictionary,
Webster’s Dictionary, says marriage refers to a male and a female.
— Pastor Jim Cookson of the National Avenue Assembly of God in Springfield, Missouri.
Jim DeMint has a super creative way of looking at this:
Obama told Americans he supported traditional marriage in his 2008 campaign… Another one of the President’s broken promises.
— Jim DeMint (@JimDeMint) May 9, 2012
Log Cabin Republicans are pissed:
Log Cabin Republicans appreciate that President Obama has finally come in line with leaders like Vice President Dick Cheney on this issue, but LGBT Americans are right to be angry that this calculated announcement comes too late to be of any use to the people of North Carolina, or any of the other states that have addressed this issue on his watch. This administration has manipulated LGBT families for political gain as much as anybody, and after his campaign’s ridiculous contortions to deny support for marriage equality this week he does not deserve praise for an announcement that comes a day late and a dollar short.
“It’s sad when [Obama] can’t stand up and accept what the majority of the people desire.” — Tampa Bay pastor John Garcia. Heh, what majority is that?
Finally, we have pig Romney being interviewed somewhere in the desert on Wednesday afternoon, inadvertently telling us how he feels about same-sex marriage and two other issues: medical marijuana and tuition rates for undocumented children. After a mere two minutes, King Romney interrupts the lady reporter with this: “Aren’t there issues of significance that you’d like to talk about?” Well that clears that up. [Think Progress and many more]
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The key to never forgetting where you live after a night of drinking at a strip club is simply to move into the strip club. That's my excuse, anyway.
If republicans can marry, why can't gays? There isn't much of a difference.
If republicans can marry, why can't gays? There isn't
much of aany difference.fixed
Both of you better take that back this instant, or I'll give you such a pinch.
Then I'll shank ya.
I thought one was shivved with a shank.
In any event, I'll apologize for my cheap attempt at "humor".
Us gay folk are HONEST about it.
Shorter Log Cabin Republicans: How dare Obama be on our side!
I will never understand the LCRs. They've been repeating that line of "changing the party from within" and blah, blah, blah for…what? 35 years? Has it changed the party? Is it changing the party? Evidence says no.
I think they are just masochists who like getting boot-stomped by the GOP leadership, its moralizing bullies, and the GOP base. They love being told that they are nasty, sinful homosexuals who will eventually burn in hell.
All gay marriage means to me is I'll have to buy a few more crappy wedding presents in my lifetime. Methinks the people who worry way too much about it — I'm looking right at you Bryan Fischer and Rick Santorum — are overcompensating for something.
They're just afraid their rent boys will stop giving away the milk for free … if you know what I mean.
They give MILK, too?
Maybe I should have gone with a Beyonce "If you liked then should have put a ring on it" joke instead …
These days, even that simple statement is simply FRAUGHT.
No shit. If straight folk haven't figured out by now that gay/les/bi/trans/queer folk are EXACTLY like them, except they like to fuck people with, you know, certain configurations of naughty bits, there is no fucking hope for the world. Because lemme tell ya, I live in the heart of Queerland, and have done for most of my life, and it's marriage, divorce, adultery, babies, custody fights (dogs, children, whatever's handy), spousal abuse, cheating, romance, all the same exact shit whether it's gay, straight, or in between we're talking aobut.
Those who protest loudest are the ones who are afraid that everyone will notice there's something … queer … about them.
Who would Jesus persecute?
Yeah, look it up! Marriage is between a man and a woman! And guilt-ridden sex is between a right-wing man and his poolboy!
Bristol Palin weighs in on her thoughts about marriage. My guess, 7 lbs 8 oz.
She mentions Sasha and Malia in her Obama rant. I guess only Palin's children are off limits.
Well to be fair, either of Obama's girls are more intelligent than all the Palins combined.
True that!
I'm a little sick of all of the Palins, sitting behind a desk and adding their thoughts to social media sites and expecting that they should be heard. The U.S.A. has 300 million people and a Plain voice is no more important than the rest of us. Fuck her.
Is "Plain voice" instead of Palin intentional or an (awesome) Freudian slip?
A Palin mind is like a plain. A wide open plain. Filled only with air from a lonely wind.
"Bristol Palin weighs in on her thoughts about marriage"
"Thoughts"!
AHAHAHA!!
Oh, Barb, you slay me!
Also, isn't that cute? Bristol is somehow under the impression that anyone cares what she has to say.
Next to Shep Smith, Sean Hannity is my favorite homosexual on Fox.
btw, I love that all the bridesmaids are brunette.
I love that the best man is leaning across the bride and inviting the groom to the turkish baths after the reception.
You just made me spew my morning martini!
Brunettes are not worthy of marriage, as their hair has been darken by their sins.
But what does that say about redheads?
Also notice that there are some females who are wearing pink to designate that they are female instead of, y'know, drag queens who snuck in to try to ruin the hetero marriage by planning a cat fight at the reception.
Interestingly for me, the Rethug-assholes I know are handling this gay-marriage-we-are-all-human-beings-affirmation thing the same way they did the coming of Mitt as the nominee. They are screaming about PresO and the "political" aspect of this, but I have NOT seen a huge fuck the gays thing. It's just another way to hate on the man himself. It TRULY is coming around to 'everybody knows one of them gay-people and it's hard to really hate them so much' even here in Ala-Bible-stan-interracial-marriage-wasn't-voted-as-legal-til-2000-bama. (and only then by 60%). I fucking hate this place.
There are many lovely states to your north, northeast (and northwest if you can't stand the snow) that offer less humidity and more temperate polities as well. Join us!
If it weren't for the Gulf Shore beaches, I wouldn't live in America's Dinghus™.
But what would we do without our behind-enemy-lines war correspondent?
Marcus Bachmann doesn't know what the big deal is. He says gays have always been able to get married.
The Log Cabin Republicans are a lot like black members of the KKK.
I've said it before, I'll say it again:
Quislings Gonna Quisling
QGQ, bitches.
OHOH! ME! I KNOW ONE! (jumping up and down, raising hand) and it's shocking, I know, but my friend is actually in Chicago, not Alabamastan, and he is an out and proud gay CATHOLIC Republican from a huge Spanish family, and it's all about the money for him. His partner has been working hard as he can on getting all that out of him, but I dunno…
Speaking of that, it would appear that the new meme this AM is that the President has now lost the African-American vote because he came out in support of gay marriage.
Yep, the blahs are now queuing up to vote for Romney, who has recognized them as actual human beings since 1979.
A local station here did a story last night on the 11 o'clock snooze that used that exact spin. Of course, they interviewed a conservative pastor of a local church. Guess they couldn't find a pastor from the any of the openly progressive/liberal African-American churches in town to interview?
21st Century BC. I thought God was playing backgammon with Lucifer around that time and wouldn't think of creating the universe for another sixteen centuries. Hmm, gonna have to go back and check my young earth textbook 'Genesis.'
At this point, who really should give a fuck what these shitheads say?
To them I say: "It gets better… for everyone but you."
Ooooh Romney's mad–he wants to give Obama a haircut.
The bride's daughter is really cute in that pic.
Are you saying she was a single mom before the ceremony? That slut!
Maybe it is a comment on the need for government sponsored birth control?
I always assumed that money was the basic building block of our society. Tell me that I'm wrong.
Reality TV is the building block of our society.
American Idol has doomed America.
I blame that Survivor crap. And before that, Real World.
I thought that sex was the building block of society…, or course, you need money for that.
I don't get it. Christianity has a major franchise on birth, marriage, and death. Wouldn't gay marriage just expand their marriage business model? The other two pretty much are at market saturation.
Keep the price high by restricting supply.
Not to mention all the gay households that are DINK (Double Income No Kids)? Lotsa money there to be grifted.
But then again, what would you want to pay for first? A really nice kitchen mixer or wig for the preacher's wife?
At least Bert and Ernie's tweets were positive about it.
Thank you Joe Biden and Prez Obama for starting this. Watching these squirrels squirm is so enjoyable. I love the smell of hate balm in the morning.
Oh yeah, and Bryan Fischer is that the same capricious wrathful god who flooded the earth because he was "mad" at the gheys or something?
Joe Biden dragged our worthless president kicking and screaming into this, so don't give Barry too much credit.
You know, I wondered about that, but I think this is all fairly calculated. I don't think Joe started this without the White House knowing about it, in spite of reports to the contrary.
Come on. There is no way this wasn't planned and coordinated. Biden and the Ed. Secretary just happen to make announcements like this at the same time. A couple of days to see how it plays, and then Obama wheels out a well-timed, crafted statement. During the week, not on Friday afternoon, to get max exposure.
The assumption, I would guess, (a fair assumption, I think) is that anyone whose support for Obama would be significantly weakened by this is someone who wouldn't have voted for Obama anyway. Meanwhile, it forces Romney to keep taking a hard line on gay-kicking, which he was clearly preparing to shake the etch-a-sketch on, to manufacture the new, "moderate" Mitt.
This.
And I rather love it.
We're running out of second class citizens to demonize. Whatever will become of American Exceptionalism?
We could always fall back on old standards, like those dumb Polacks.
Everybody but Bush has forgotten Poland.
Wow! Until I heard from Santorum and Fischer on this I thought same sex marriage was A-OK. Thank goodness they spoke up to set me on the right track!
Damn; and here I was all set to marry a duck.
You and MissTaken have kinky pet names.
Marry? But we actually like each other and want to keep it that way.
Oh come on. Everybody knows that Obama's only supporting gay marriage in order to cynically continue the expansion of freedom that is America's promise and to stand with those on the right side of history and because it's the right and moral and ethical thing to do. Typical Kenyan Muslim.
Jeff Gannon: "What next, Is Obama just going to start letting uncredentialed gay reporters ask softball questions in press conferences?"
Oh no! Now all these people won't vote for Obama! He really should be more serious about serving them and courting their vote. FOR SHAME OBAMMY.
WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!!!
And, the fucking usurper eats a hamburger…with MUSTARD! IMPEACH!!111
God, I had almost forgotten about DijonGate.
What the fuck, conservatives? What the flippity fuck?
See also the pissing contest at Pharyngula, where they are not only unimpressed by Obama's timid step toward marriage equality, they are actively telling anyone who suggests it was a cautious step in the right direction to go fuck themselves, because Obama Didn't Fix Everything Right Now, Dammit, and He's Not Helping. I sympathize with the anger of anyone who is outraged that civil rights can be put to a vote, but I don't know that an "I'm more progressive than you" fight really accomplishes much.
I stopped hanging out at Pharyngula long ago – at first the hostility against dumbfuck religiosity was invigorating, but eventually it dawned on me that the hostile groupthink in the comments was pretty much a juvenile reaction against anything that couldn't be quantified or wasn't Battlestar Galactica.
Sample:
So go right fucking ahead, and make this issue about the president’s poor fee-fees. Obviously, gently encouraging him to feel better about LGBTQ people is SO much more important than the millions of people like me and my parents. Because if one bigot makes some tentative steps towards being nicer to LGTBQ people, that’s soooo much more fucking important than silly, trivial little things like government policy. You must have a lovely view from that ivory tower of yours.
I'm still waiting on Newt and Limpball's comments on Obama ruining the institution of marriage.
The drug addled lardass said that Obama declared war on marriage. As it has been widely noted on the Interwebs, none of his four wives have weighed in on the topic.
"The drug addled lardass"
Which one?
Please, Rush had to marry that many women to save them from becoming gay. It's not like he enjoys being married. It's his duty.
Seven brides for two fuckwits.
The two guys in the background look very happy together. The ones behind the trees over there. Probably talking baseball.
They're talking about pitching and catching, you know that
Pounding the mitt.
Has anyone blamed 9/11 on President Obama's endorsement of gay marriage yet? The LORD knew this was coming you know — that's why He lifted His veil of protection.
Also, the Log Cabin Republicans can go fuck themselves. Where was their advocacy of gay marriage or their protest against the NC constitutional amendment? Yeah, didn't think so.
They might as well fuck themselves, nobody I know wants to fuck them.
In their defense — and I hate defending the LCR — they were instrumental in getting DADT overturned (see Log Cabin Republicans v. United States) only because the Human Rights Campaign was too chicken shit to take the risk.
That's about all they've ever done, though, so I'm not sure how much it makes up for their general obnoxiousness.
Well they're officially disqualified for invoking Dick fuckin' Cheney, who wouldn't give a shit about gay marriage if it didn't involve his precious how-dare-John-Kerry-mention-she's-gay daughter. If Mary Cheney could've gotten gay married and nobody else was allowed to, that would've been just fine with ol' Dick.
That's what I always hate so much about conservatives — with them it's always fuck you, I've got mine. They feel no shame damning millions of people to whatever fate throws at them, but the minute either they or one of their family is faced with the same struggle, suddenly they give a shit about the issue.
Sarah Palin voted to defund special education in her city right up until her little angel was born, and which point she acted like she was some fucking saint for finally giving a damn about the r-words. Conservative selfishness never ceases to astound me. I always thought Maggie Thatch was just being a stone-cold bitch when she said "There is no society; only individuals and families" but now I realize it really is how these people view the world.
I'm not sure what it is, but it seems like all these people have a certain something in common?
That one guy needs a new dictionary:
Websters online says:
(1) : the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2) : the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage <same-sex marriage>
You hoisted that rhymes-with-petard by his own petard.
You know who else thought homosexuals were a threat to traditional families?
Archie Bunker?
Caligula? No, wait. Alexander the Great? Um, no not him either. I'm going to have to go with Genghis Khan.
All of them, Bruce!
Anita Bryant?
Ted Haggard?
How can Repugnants get away with calling something like "Meh, it doesn't matter to me if two people that are in love marry each other" into "I think ONLY gay marriage should be recognized… abolish all man and woman marriage NOW!"?
Remember that thing we talked about?
About some so-called "human beings" being ot-nay oo-tay ight-bray?
Pig Latin is way harder to read than to speak… but yeah.
That's just one of their "gifts".
Is Bryan Fischer that one guy at FotF who HASN'T gotten caught with an underage rent boy yet? It's so hard to keep them all straight.
"yet" being the key word
Even the dictionary, Webster’s Dictionary, says marriage refers to a male and a female.
— Pastor Jim Cookson of the National Avenue Assembly of God in Springfield, Missouri.
Weird. I just looked in the dictionary, Webster's Dictionary, and it says "unrelenting goatfucking bigot" refers to Pastor Jim Cookson. Maybe his edition is out of date?
Remember, had Obama done this the day before the NC amendment vote, he would still have been black.
I don't know what all the hubbub is about. They have had homosexual marriage in Kenya for years.
I blame the gheys for destroying my first marriage of fifteen years, and now I feel the foundations of my current 32 year-long union failing…..The Horror, the horror….
Thankfully, the American Public….has consistently voted for maintaining one man one woman marriage.
Except when they haven't:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/interactive/2012/…
"Obama’s special time"
Are you trying to suggest that he's… man-struating?
"21st century BC: time of Sodom and Gomorrah."
He's coming dangerously close to saying the world existed for a while before Jesus. Darwinist d-bag.
any gays who vote for Romney might as well driving pink car half-naked in Mississippi yelling "I'm Gay", as these acts will be less self-harming.
"Log Cabin Republicans" LOL
These people just long for the return of the hallowed days of their youf. Just look at that pic. Who dresses like that any more, or wears their hair that way? Your fucking grandpa ninety years ago, that's who.
Jezus fucking J.H. Christ on a pogo stick! In their world, everybody is white and blond and slim, not the porkers of today on their Rascal Scooters paid for by Medicare with their acned screaming broods of spoiled teens glued to their iPods and iPads and video games.
Prediciton: mittbot soils his magic underwear half an hour into the first debate with President Obama. Media decries liberals shrill for making mitty go poopy.
There goes Obama, spiking the football on gay marriage. Real heroes don't go on TV and tell everybody what they did.
Being a Log Cabin Republican is equivalent to chickens giving Col. Sanders a handjob (Which is extra icky considering he's dead.)
This is the Crate & Barrel lobby at work. They put pressure on the Kenyan to say he's in favor of homos marrying. Sales are down cause of the recession and these corporate bitches know that the gays like place settings. What has this world cum to?
Sarah, Plain and Stupid.
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