MAD DAD  9:16 am May 10, 2012

Mitt Romney Loses His Cool

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Daddy needs a drinkWe think this might have been how Bing Crosby looked when he got too much Scotch in him and started beating on his wife and kids. What brings the scary early scenes of The Stepfather out of mild-mannered Mittens? QUESTIONS! Questions about gay marriage, and children of undocumented workers getting in-state tuition, and medical marijuana, specifically! Don’t you want to ask any questions of significance? he asks the CBS reporter in Colorado — where, in fact, those are all issues of significance! At about two minutes in, his voice rises with stress, he interrupts repeatedly, he starts to get more and more carried away — he’s no Ted Nugent, that is clear, and no one gets raped or fellated in the angry interview — but he looks to be malfunctioning under his bio-inspired material resembling skin, his lips curled in a hate-smile pasted over his angry, anxious face. Then he gets it together again, because he is running for office for Pete’s sake, and you can stop watching.

Newt Gingrich would have yelled at this reporter with pure bombast and blowhardiness, but he wouldn’t have been creepy about it, just a disingenuous jerk. Mad dad is mad!

[CBS, via TPM]

 

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{ 153 comments }

Barb May 10, 2012 at 9:18 am

New Romney campaign slogan:
Mitt Romney 2012 Let's Just Pray That He Picks Someone Good For Vice President.

MLHencken May 10, 2012 at 9:28 am

How about:

"Mitt Romney: he's not that bad after all."

Tundra Grifter May 10, 2012 at 9:36 am

The GNoP tried that with Ole Newt: "Nobody's perfect."

That certainly turned out well.

tessiee May 10, 2012 at 11:17 am

The way things are going, I wouldn't be at all surprised if they went straight for their base with:

"Mitt Romney: He's white"

also, let's face it, it's not like he has anything else going for him.

GunToting[Redacted] May 10, 2012 at 9:43 am

Are you a visitor to our planet?

Chichikovovich May 10, 2012 at 9:58 am

Hey Barb – I was in an intense 3 – day early morning – till – late night conference, and so didn't have a free moment to Wonkettize when the Flyers went down. But rest assured I was thinking of you and shedding a manly tear in sympathy.

freakishlywrong May 10, 2012 at 9:21 am

and no one gets raped or fellated in the angry interview
I can't get by this, will comment once I've been able to dry tears.

johnnymeatworth May 10, 2012 at 11:18 am

Right? If he won't rape or fellate anyone in an interview how can we count on him to run the country?

Pragmatist2 May 10, 2012 at 9:21 am

Saying "Mitt Romney loses his cool" is like saying "Dick Cheney loses his sex appeal."

Serolf_Divad May 10, 2012 at 9:56 am

Sarah Palin's intellect dulling.
Newt Gingrich, not as principled as before.

Nostrildamus May 10, 2012 at 12:13 pm

"Bristol loses her cherry".

BaldarTFlagass May 10, 2012 at 9:24 am

Well, it looks like she's standing far enough away from him.

Abbystinence May 10, 2012 at 9:58 am

She's afraid he'll hold her down and "repeatedly clipped (her) hair with a pair of scissors." http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/mitt-romne

MaxUdargo May 10, 2012 at 4:35 pm

She's probably nervous because he apparently only agreed to do the interview if she met him out by the old abandoned storage facility in the middle of the desert. One little story about prep-school bullying and suddenly he's Deep Throat.

GuanoFaucet May 10, 2012 at 9:25 am

Mittens looked like he was having about as much fun during that interview as a dog strapped to the roof of a car going 70 mph.

valgal2342 May 10, 2012 at 9:56 am

Nailed it. +100

Designer_Rants May 10, 2012 at 10:13 am

I wonder if his capacitors began to overheat, causing a yellow and brown bio-sludge to run out of various maintenance orifices and down the sides of the RomBot form factor?

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 10:21 am

It's possible, but consider the background. Clearly she interrupted his attempt to sit in his oil bath. That would annoy the hell out of me, I tell you whut.

DemmeFatale May 10, 2012 at 10:56 am

Win!

MaxUdargo May 10, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Since when does a Republican candidate not want to answer questions from a list of hot-button social issues?

I sometimes think he's hating this even more than McCain hated it. Sucks to be an educated Republican, doesn't it, Mitty? At least you won't have to deal with Sarah Palin as a running mate. You hope.

Biff May 10, 2012 at 9:25 am

Oh, please. Rmoney and cool does not compute.

RadioRehab May 10, 2012 at 9:25 am

Wait, Mitt Romney was cool??!

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 9:57 am

Only when his lubrication is fresh. I think he's past his 40,000 flip flop checkup.

not that Dewey May 10, 2012 at 10:05 am

There must be dust in the fan.

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 10:19 am

That's what I'm thinking. Just look at where they are standing. That oil bath is going to feel so good, bless the Maker.

not that Dewey May 10, 2012 at 10:26 am

You just can't get that good polychlorinated biphenyl oil anymore, like you could in the good old days. Such wonderful heat capacity. I want my country back!

tessiee May 10, 2012 at 11:31 am

"Only when his lubrication is fresh."

*Sideshow Bob shudder*
Let us never speak of it again.

littlebigdaddy May 10, 2012 at 9:25 am

What, Mittens wants some medical weed pronto and then maybe he'll gay marry some illegal Messicans?

widestanceromance May 10, 2012 at 9:47 am

With one hand on the Koran.

chicken_thief May 10, 2012 at 9:50 am

Mittens morphed into Sheriff Babeu?!

DemmeFatale May 10, 2012 at 11:02 am

What's the matter, Mitt?
Uncomfortable with all these "petty" wingnut ideas?
Tough shit.
You gotta dance with them what brung you!
(At least she didn't bring up woman things.)

freakishlywrong May 10, 2012 at 9:25 am

Fuck, talk about "arms control". He's Klaatu.

James Michael Curley May 10, 2012 at 9:29 am

Klaatu, Barack Needu.

BaldarTFlagass May 10, 2012 at 9:39 am

Wins the morning. Maybe the day, we shall see…

MrFizzy May 10, 2012 at 9:26 am

Which is stiffer and more lifeless – Mittens or those two oil tanks in the background?

chicken_thief May 10, 2012 at 9:52 am

"stiffer and more lifeless" are mutually exclusive in the dick world, but in the world of dickheads, they work. Go figure.

MrFizzy May 11, 2012 at 7:05 am

Difference is that one dick has blood running through it.Sent from my iPhone

rickmaci May 10, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Unlike Mittens, things of substance and importance come out of those tanks.

BaldarTFlagass May 10, 2012 at 9:26 am

"Then he gets it together again… and you can stop watching."

I stopped watching before he even started to lose it.

MLHencken May 10, 2012 at 9:26 am

Don't make Mitt Romney angry. He might take additional wives to spite you.

tessiee May 10, 2012 at 11:32 am

???
I thought that was Newt?

ph7 May 10, 2012 at 9:27 am

I dunno. It takes a special temperament to be a politician. I think I'd eventually strangle a reporter on live TV if I ever ran for office. The ability to endure the inanity of a presidential run isn't really a character test – it's a test of wanting something so bad you'll put up with anything with a smile plastered on your face.

BaldarTFlagass May 10, 2012 at 9:40 am

"I think I'd eventually strangle a reporter on live TV if I ever ran for office."

That would probably be enough to get my vote.

HistoriCat May 10, 2012 at 11:08 am

You have a strong platform and I think you would do well in the election.

tessiee May 10, 2012 at 11:34 am

Agree wholeheartedly — but then, it's the career that Mitt chose of his own free will, so he should STFU and deal.

Equality_Joe May 10, 2012 at 9:28 am

I'd say that I smell an Obama debate strategy in the making, but Mittens is no McCain.

Where McCain had some big, obvious buttons that were really easy to push to make him look angry on camera, Mittens's outbursts are kinda random and… well, bizarre. You can't really goad him, because it's pretty impossible to tell what will set him off. Obama would have better luck trying to trick Romney into bragging about how fantastically wealthy he is.

kakotechnia May 10, 2012 at 9:41 am

Nah, there's a pattern here. Any time someone talks to Mittens like he's a peer rather than the pious little lord of all he surveys, he gets wanky. A shook Mitt is a beautiful thing.

tessiee May 10, 2012 at 11:36 am

"there's a pattern here. Any time someone talks to Mittens like he's a peer rather than the pious little lord of all he surveys, he gets wanky"

Bingo.

tessiee May 10, 2012 at 11:35 am

"Obama would have better luck trying to trick Romney into bragging about how fantastically wealthy he is."

Or possibly trying to trick Romney into pulling his finger [a la Foghorn Leghorn] That boy ain't too bright, is what I'm sayin'.

Texan_Bulldog May 10, 2012 at 9:29 am

Shorter Mitt: Why aren't you asking me questions that I want to answer? And where's my coffee, little woman?

MegPasadena May 10, 2012 at 12:57 pm

So basically he is the poor man version of Sarah Palin, only answering questions that she has prepared for as in the Biden debate.

chascates May 10, 2012 at 9:29 am

At least his controller resets itself in just a few minutes.

ManchuCandidate May 10, 2012 at 9:29 am

Mittens, all politics are local. Dumbass.

JoeHoya May 10, 2012 at 9:30 am

Republicans in 2000: Let's not talk about the economy, it's social issues! Gay marriage! Grrrr!
Mitt in 2012: Stop talking about social issues and gay marriage, it's the economy! Grrrr!

MLHencken May 10, 2012 at 9:30 am

Yes, marijuana is a gateway drug. It's a gateway to Cheetos. And pizza.

Generation[redacted] May 10, 2012 at 9:35 am

And carpentry.

kakotechnia May 10, 2012 at 9:37 am

And liberal arts colleges.

Tundra Grifter May 10, 2012 at 9:38 am

Brownies.

FNMA May 10, 2012 at 9:38 am

Mmmmmmmm…pizza…

TootsStansbury May 10, 2012 at 9:40 am

And coming from someone who thinks coffee is a gateway drug.

tessiee May 10, 2012 at 11:38 am

Coffee is a gateway to being conscious for at least some of the daylight hours.

BaldarTFlagass May 10, 2012 at 9:42 am

For me, marijuana was a gateway to better marijuana.

trampndirtdown May 10, 2012 at 10:26 am

Mmmmm Cheeto pizzaa.

tessiee May 10, 2012 at 11:37 am

and thinking "the Big Lebowski" was the most awesome movie ever.

MLHencken May 10, 2012 at 11:38 am

What? It is.

James Michael Curley May 10, 2012 at 9:31 am

This is where he starts talking about how he was brain washed.
Worked well for his father.

KennyFuckingPowers May 10, 2012 at 9:31 am

Fuck him. I'll get high with or without his fucking blessing.

RadioRehab May 10, 2012 at 9:32 am

Awwkwward!

FNMA May 10, 2012 at 9:32 am

Just a little glitch. They update his firmware and he'll be right as rain.

chicken_thief May 10, 2012 at 10:28 am

If Mitt is really a bot, why'd they make his head so fucking big?

thedeathofirony May 10, 2012 at 11:27 am

They store the batteries in the skull.

Arken May 10, 2012 at 9:33 am

Mitt needs to upgrade his anger chip to a more realistic human-like version. Perhaps he can do it with firmware.

Beowoof May 10, 2012 at 9:35 am

As I recall the people making that stuff campaign issues would be republicans. So now this shithead doesn't want to talk about things that hurt his chances, what else is new.

freakishlywrong May 10, 2012 at 9:35 am

What's the over/under on when the Panderbot snaps and just starts shouting "ni**er!, ni**er!, ni**er!"

tessiee May 10, 2012 at 11:39 am

Can I get a side bet that somebody in his audience yells it out, and Mitt pretends to ignore it?

Equality_Joe May 10, 2012 at 9:35 am

But he's right, it's important to focus on the REAL issues, like tree height, the make and models of his fleet of cars, and who, in fact, had let the dogs out.

chicken_thief May 10, 2012 at 9:59 am

I for one, really want to hear one more newly nuanced painfully parsed account of how his beautifully penned "fuck Detroit, let 'em fail" opt ed became the foundation of the Bush/Obama bailout and policy that saved the auto industry.

memzilla May 10, 2012 at 9:35 am

Having the tank labelled "CRUDE OIL" in the background, with Rmoney in front, is the most honest video of him I've seen.

ManchuCandidate May 10, 2012 at 9:35 am

Every time I see him, Willard reminds me of Clark Griswold. I have a feeling that Mittens campaign will end with him at Wallyworld armed with a marshmellow shooter and taking hostages.

Biff May 10, 2012 at 9:46 am

Perhaps, but Ann, nice though she may be, is no Beverly D'Angelo.

ManchuCandidate May 10, 2012 at 9:49 am

True. But there is also no Christie Brinkley… or is there?

kakotechnia May 10, 2012 at 9:37 am

Mitt Romney: Running to be America's thin-skinned, imperious boss.

memzilla May 10, 2012 at 9:41 am

Agreed. He needs at least two more layers of biofilm over his titanium endoskeleton.

SteveMcCroskey May 10, 2012 at 9:37 am

All he needs is a nice sweater vest to soften him up and make him look more human.

biblioteq_tress May 10, 2012 at 9:40 am

A sand blaster couldn't soften Mitt up.

SorosBot May 10, 2012 at 9:38 am

What does he do if you ask him about his complete 180 on his position on abortion rights?

biblioteq_tress May 10, 2012 at 9:41 am

"Don't you have any important issues to ask me about? Like the acceptable height of trees?"

BerkeleyBear May 10, 2012 at 11:10 am

Is it really a 180 or a 360? From the piece the Post has on him today, he was probably a little troglodyte about choice right until his mom ran as a pro-choice candidate, then reverted to type once it was expedient to do so.

MissNancyPriss May 10, 2012 at 1:53 pm

We'll never know.

Tundra Grifter May 10, 2012 at 9:39 am

(r)Money wants to be treated like they do him on the FoxPAC. Their idea of a tough question is "What's your favorite cookie?"

Biff May 10, 2012 at 10:10 am

Mmmmm, cookies…

anniegetyerfun May 10, 2012 at 10:17 am

"Chocolate chip. No, oatmeal. No, vanilla wafers! I have consistently held the same position on cookie preference for the past five seconds or so."

b[redact]opple May 10, 2012 at 10:39 am

No, we now know he can fuck up cookies, too. Remember a couple of weeks ago, when he made that small-businessman cookie-baker cry?

MarionNYNY May 10, 2012 at 9:39 am

Yippie!
Meltdown in 5…4…3…2..1..

TootsStansbury May 10, 2012 at 10:00 am

Caused by a short circuit or his pants catching on fire?

OneYieldRegular May 10, 2012 at 9:41 am

Needs more turkey decapitations in the background.

trampndirtdown May 10, 2012 at 9:46 am

Mizz Reporter better watch out Mitts got that I want to fire you look on his face.

PuckStopsHere May 10, 2012 at 9:50 am

Willard needs to fire up a fatty.

gurukalehuru May 10, 2012 at 9:51 am

In that video, Colorado looked every bit as boring as Nebraska or Wyoming.

I can't quite put my finger on why, but I kept thinking to myself "What this video needs is a guy in the background putting turkeys through a grinder."

widestanceromance May 10, 2012 at 10:03 am

The whole composition looks quite Hitchcockian.

widestanceromance May 10, 2012 at 9:51 am

I hope Romney has been delivered back to Tyrell for adjustments after his circuitry malfunction.

The interviewer knew better than to say, "Tell me about your mother. . ." She's seen what happens.

metamarcisf May 10, 2012 at 9:57 am

What's a tortoise?

trampndirtdown May 10, 2012 at 10:02 am

What's a tortoise?

widestanceromance May 10, 2012 at 10:06 am

What's a tortoise?

Steverino247 May 10, 2012 at 11:09 am

Is there an echo in here?

ttommyunger May 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

He doesn't know, does he?

Generation[redacted] May 10, 2012 at 9:53 am

For pete's sake, reporters, ask him something important, like: "How big a failure is Obama?"

Chichikovovich May 10, 2012 at 10:10 am

Or "Do you believe that America is about Punishing Success"?

Generation[redacted] May 10, 2012 at 12:00 pm

"Mr. Burns, Your Campaign Seems To Have the Momentum of a Runaway Freight Train. Why Are You So Popular?"

NellCote71 May 10, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Or: "Tell us again how you single-handedly bailed out the auto industry."

James Michael Curley May 10, 2012 at 9:54 am

The opportunity to watch videos like this at work makes me regret I get FIOS.

MosesInvests May 10, 2012 at 9:56 am

Illogical! Illogical! Norman, correlate!

prommie May 10, 2012 at 9:57 am

Scratch the surface, and what you have there is Montgomery Burns. "This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you."

tessiee May 10, 2012 at 11:43 am

"Scratch the surface, and what you have there is Montgomery Burns"

He does suck at releasing the hounds, though.

actor212 May 10, 2012 at 9:59 am

Heh. My lead-in ad was for a Droid….

Look, leave the poor man alone. He probably had a load of santorum drying in his magic panties and you know how that itches!

I can't figure out whether his jaw or his butt cheeks are clenched tighter.

valgal2342 May 10, 2012 at 10:01 am

I love the fart sound at the 3:28 mark.

tessiee May 10, 2012 at 11:29 am

It's certainly preferable to any of the other sounds in that video.

sezme May 10, 2012 at 2:44 pm

And you can see that he's been programmed to apologize for it.

mavenmaven May 10, 2012 at 10:08 am

"don't you understand? I deserve to be president, because I fire small people like you, you little worm"

Chichikovovich May 10, 2012 at 10:09 am

I can understand why Romney is upset: the biased liberal media keeps switching up their "gotcha" questions. He had totally prepared boffo answers for the one about "What newspapers do you read?" and the Bush doctrine one.

not that Dewey May 10, 2012 at 10:12 am

Kelly Robinson has really let himself go.

James Michael Curley May 10, 2012 at 10:13 am

Good news for the Mittbot, the Windows 8 release date is October 2012, just in time for the election. The bad news is the entire HD will need to be erased since he is running Windows ME

Biff May 10, 2012 at 10:15 am

Wingtards will still vote for him because they feel he's the kind of guy they can have a beer glass of chardonnay Coke cup of hot cocoa lemonade with, OK?

anniegetyerfun May 10, 2012 at 10:15 am

Why on Earth would anyone agree to be interviewed standing up?

chicken_thief May 10, 2012 at 10:30 am

So he can look tall and Presidential?

anniegetyerfun May 10, 2012 at 11:57 am

No one ever looks at ease standing up.

Generation[redacted] May 10, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Look at ease? The Mittbot? That ship has sailed, my friend.

anniegetyerfun May 10, 2012 at 12:09 pm

At least when he is sitting down, they have to film him from the torso up, and it looks maybe 15% less awkward.

SharkSandwich May 10, 2012 at 10:30 am

Ask the folks at Oaksterdam University whether medical marijuana is a federal issue.

el_donaldo May 10, 2012 at 10:35 am

Mitt Romney is Duck Phillips.

Franknflower May 10, 2012 at 10:37 am

Mechanized fart at 3:30.

tessiee May 10, 2012 at 11:46 am

Coming from the robot, or what?

Nesnora May 10, 2012 at 10:39 am

Exxon is beyond government regulation and this motherfucker says it's beyond reproach because of the "small" businesses that it impacts? What, like the dummy corporations they setup for their CEO's to disperse huge profits and dodge taxes? Fuck him, seriously.

notreelyhelping May 10, 2012 at 10:51 am

So, so Don Draperesque…in the passive aggressive, frosty-reptile-eyes-behind-the-forced- smile way…not the sauve way. Work some cigarettes and martinis into the shtick, Mitt. Else it's just Mr. Ritchie Rich boy.

DemmeFatale May 10, 2012 at 11:13 am

Except without the Don Draper charisma.
El Donaldo hit the mark with Duck Phillips. Right down to the dog abuse.

EloquentScience May 10, 2012 at 11:07 am

Loosen up Mittbot. Do we need to oil your arm joints?

tessiee May 10, 2012 at 11:12 am

I don't know why anyone is surprised (if anyone is); it's been the rule of thumb since St. Raygun that it's bad form for reporters to ask questions other than "Why are you so awesome?" and "What are your talking points?".

It's obvious from the video that Mitt was surprised as well as annoyed at the reporter actually, you know, asking him stuff, and that he was going to get his talking points said if he had to knock the reporter down and grab the mic out of her hand.

tessiee May 10, 2012 at 11:15 am

I'd succeeded in blocking him out up until now. I mean, I knew he existed, but I'd never heard him speak. He really does come across as wooden and deeply unlikeable in a sort of polite serial killer way, and every word and gesture just drips falseness.

tessiee May 10, 2012 at 11:27 am

Mitzi was probably all pissed off because he had to stand where there weren't any trees.

DemonicRage May 10, 2012 at 11:32 am

He is so ready to take hold of the reins of Government. There will be parties in South Carolina as, one by one, he dismantles every bit of the Obama legacy. No one will have to yell out, "You lie!" when he addresses the combined houses of the legislature. All of this is just months away. (Do you think we can get the pharmacies of the US to start dispensing cyanide capsules?)

tessiee May 10, 2012 at 11:48 am

Meh, I'm not impressed.
coming from a family (and a state) where getting mad looks like the Joe Pesci "am I funny to you?" scene…
by comparison, Mitt's tepid little hissy fit is like watching Mr. Rogers flip the bird.

Generation[redacted] May 10, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Lose his cool? That reporter is just lucky Romney didn't hold her down and cut her hair

docterry6973 May 10, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Mitt was never cool, though his wife might have been before she was worn down by a lifetime of existential despair. I am guessing about that last part but I bet I'm right.

Nostrildamus May 10, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Mitt's right. She should have asked more questions about Kenyan Socialism, and whether its right for America.

natoslug May 10, 2012 at 12:27 pm

WTF? Marijuana should remain illegal because drug use in America is causing terrible problems in Mexico? First, fucknut, you're a Republican, so why are you pretending to care about Mexico? Second, considering that our fucked up drug laws are actually making things worse south of the border, maybe Romney should consider shutting the fuck and returning to outsourcing jobs and shuttering factories. He's obviously not fit for anything else.

DustBowlBlues May 10, 2012 at 2:02 pm

That's right, Mittens, don't subsidize a new industry like green energy because Red China committed to that years ago. They subsidize what they consider the new Industrial Revolution with tons of whatever they call their weird money. Good news: we can buy solar panels cheap, as long as the Chinese keep offering them cheap, which they can do, since the commies who run their capitalist paradise totally do not trust the invisible hand of the market, because they are godless commies. See? We all benefit from Communism in the worker's paradise that is China.

Oh, and Mittens is a plasticized dick of a man. The reporter failed to ask him one question from his list of index card responses. It's about jobs. Also.

rickmaci May 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Damn local reporters who ask questions sent in by viewer/voters and who don't stick to the talking points in the press kit distributed by my handlers.

ttommyunger May 10, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Who the fuck is running this guy's campaign? Standing on a dirt-pile, facing the fierce sun and desert wind while trying to look collected and in charge? I am not impressed. Pleased, but not impressed.

mayor_quimby May 10, 2012 at 3:05 pm

I thought all of Mittens' kids were boys. What the fuck is up with those outfits?

dennis1943 May 10, 2012 at 3:24 pm

This man is not qualified to be human,let alone President……….

glamourdammerung May 10, 2012 at 4:13 pm

I am actually starting to think he is going to lose his temper during debates. Which would be hilarious.

fitley May 14, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Romney loses his cool? He's not even in the same state as cool.

BerkeleyBear May 10, 2012 at 11:05 am

Yeah, there's some quality in his voice – sort of an oily condescension – that hits me as wrong at a lizard brain level. I really can't explain it adequately, but he starts talking, I start screaming and wanting to run away.

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