Daddy needs a drinkWe think this might have been how Bing Crosby looked when he got too much Scotch in him and started beating on his wife and kids. What brings the scary early scenes of The Stepfather out of mild-mannered Mittens? QUESTIONS! Questions about gay marriage, and children of undocumented workers getting in-state tuition, and medical marijuana, specifically! Don’t you want to ask any questions of significance? he asks the CBS reporter in Colorado — where, in fact, those are all issues of significance! At about two minutes in, his voice rises with stress, he interrupts repeatedly, he starts to get more and more carried away — he’s no Ted Nugent, that is clear, and no one gets raped or fellated in the angry interview — but he looks to be malfunctioning under his bio-inspired material resembling skin, his lips curled in a hate-smile pasted over his angry, anxious face. Then he gets it together again, because he is running for office for Pete’s sake, and you can stop watching.

Newt Gingrich would have yelled at this reporter with pure bombast and blowhardiness, but he wouldn’t have been creepy about it, just a disingenuous jerk. Mad dad is mad!

[CBS, via TPM]

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  • Barb

    New Romney campaign slogan:
    Mitt Romney 2012 Let's Just Pray That He Picks Someone Good For Vice President.

    • How about:

      "Mitt Romney: he's not that bad after all."

      • Tundra Grifter

        The GNoP tried that with Ole Newt: "Nobody's perfect."

        That certainly turned out well.

      • tessiee

        The way things are going, I wouldn't be at all surprised if they went straight for their base with:

        "Mitt Romney: He's white"

        also, let's face it, it's not like he has anything else going for him.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      Are you a visitor to our planet?

    • Chichikovovich

      Hey Barb – I was in an intense 3 – day early morning – till – late night conference, and so didn't have a free moment to Wonkettize when the Flyers went down. But rest assured I was thinking of you and shedding a manly tear in sympathy.

  • freakishlywrong

    and no one gets raped or fellated in the angry interview
    I can't get by this, will comment once I've been able to dry tears.

    • johnnymeatworth

      Right? If he won't rape or fellate anyone in an interview how can we count on him to run the country?

  • Pragmatist2

    Saying "Mitt Romney loses his cool" is like saying "Dick Cheney loses his sex appeal."

    • Serolf_Divad

      Sarah Palin's intellect dulling.
      Newt Gingrich, not as principled as before.

      • Nostrildamus

        "Bristol loses her cherry".

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Well, it looks like she's standing far enough away from him.

    • Abbystinence

      She's afraid he'll hold her down and "repeatedly clipped (her) hair with a pair of scissors."

    • She's probably nervous because he apparently only agreed to do the interview if she met him out by the old abandoned storage facility in the middle of the desert. One little story about prep-school bullying and suddenly he's Deep Throat.

  • GuanoFaucet

    Mittens looked like he was having about as much fun during that interview as a dog strapped to the roof of a car going 70 mph.

    • valgal2342

      Nailed it. +100

    • I wonder if his capacitors began to overheat, causing a yellow and brown bio-sludge to run out of various maintenance orifices and down the sides of the RomBot form factor?

      • It's possible, but consider the background. Clearly she interrupted his attempt to sit in his oil bath. That would annoy the hell out of me, I tell you whut.

    • Win!

    • Since when does a Republican candidate not want to answer questions from a list of hot-button social issues?

      I sometimes think he's hating this even more than McCain hated it. Sucks to be an educated Republican, doesn't it, Mitty? At least you won't have to deal with Sarah Palin as a running mate. You hope.

  • Biff

    Oh, please. Rmoney and cool does not compute.

  • RadioRehab

    Wait, Mitt Romney was cool??!

    • Only when his lubrication is fresh. I think he's past his 40,000 flip flop checkup.

      • not that Dewey

        There must be dust in the fan.

        • That's what I'm thinking. Just look at where they are standing. That oil bath is going to feel so good, bless the Maker.

          • not that Dewey

            You just can't get that good polychlorinated biphenyl oil anymore, like you could in the good old days. Such wonderful heat capacity. I want my country back!

      • tessiee

        "Only when his lubrication is fresh."

        *Sideshow Bob shudder*
        Let us never speak of it again.

  • littlebigdaddy

    What, Mittens wants some medical weed pronto and then maybe he'll gay marry some illegal Messicans?

    • widestanceromance

      With one hand on the Koran.

    • chicken_thief

      Mittens morphed into Sheriff Babeu?!

    • What's the matter, Mitt?
      Uncomfortable with all these "petty" wingnut ideas?
      Tough shit.
      You gotta dance with them what brung you!
      (At least she didn't bring up woman things.)

  • freakishlywrong

    Fuck, talk about "arms control". He's Klaatu.

    • James Michael Curley

      Klaatu, Barack Needu.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Wins the morning. Maybe the day, we shall see…

  • MrFizzy

    Which is stiffer and more lifeless – Mittens or those two oil tanks in the background?

    • chicken_thief

      "stiffer and more lifeless" are mutually exclusive in the dick world, but in the world of dickheads, they work. Go figure.

      • MrFizzy

        Difference is that one dick has blood running through it.Sent from my iPhone

    • rickmaci

      Unlike Mittens, things of substance and importance come out of those tanks.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Then he gets it together again… and you can stop watching."

    I stopped watching before he even started to lose it.

  • Don't make Mitt Romney angry. He might take additional wives to spite you.

    • tessiee

      I thought that was Newt?

  • ph7

    I dunno. It takes a special temperament to be a politician. I think I'd eventually strangle a reporter on live TV if I ever ran for office. The ability to endure the inanity of a presidential run isn't really a character test – it's a test of wanting something so bad you'll put up with anything with a smile plastered on your face.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      "I think I'd eventually strangle a reporter on live TV if I ever ran for office."

      That would probably be enough to get my vote.

    • HistoriCat

      You have a strong platform and I think you would do well in the election.

    • tessiee

      Agree wholeheartedly — but then, it's the career that Mitt chose of his own free will, so he should STFU and deal.

  • I'd say that I smell an Obama debate strategy in the making, but Mittens is no McCain.

    Where McCain had some big, obvious buttons that were really easy to push to make him look angry on camera, Mittens's outbursts are kinda random and… well, bizarre. You can't really goad him, because it's pretty impossible to tell what will set him off. Obama would have better luck trying to trick Romney into bragging about how fantastically wealthy he is.

    • kakotechnia

      Nah, there's a pattern here. Any time someone talks to Mittens like he's a peer rather than the pious little lord of all he surveys, he gets wanky. A shook Mitt is a beautiful thing.

      • tessiee

        "there's a pattern here. Any time someone talks to Mittens like he's a peer rather than the pious little lord of all he surveys, he gets wanky"


    • tessiee

      "Obama would have better luck trying to trick Romney into bragging about how fantastically wealthy he is."

      Or possibly trying to trick Romney into pulling his finger [a la Foghorn Leghorn] That boy ain't too bright, is what I'm sayin'.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Shorter Mitt: Why aren't you asking me questions that I want to answer? And where's my coffee, little woman?

    • MegPasadena

      So basically he is the poor man version of Sarah Palin, only answering questions that she has prepared for as in the Biden debate.

  • chascates

    At least his controller resets itself in just a few minutes.

  • Mittens, all politics are local. Dumbass.

  • JoeHoya

    Republicans in 2000: Let's not talk about the economy, it's social issues! Gay marriage! Grrrr!
    Mitt in 2012: Stop talking about social issues and gay marriage, it's the economy! Grrrr!

  • Yes, marijuana is a gateway drug. It's a gateway to Cheetos. And pizza.

    • Generation[redacted]

      And carpentry.

    • kakotechnia

      And liberal arts colleges.

    • Tundra Grifter


    • FNMA


    • TootsStansbury

      And coming from someone who thinks coffee is a gateway drug.

      • tessiee

        Coffee is a gateway to being conscious for at least some of the daylight hours.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      For me, marijuana was a gateway to better marijuana.

    • Mmmmm Cheeto pizzaa.

    • tessiee

      and thinking "the Big Lebowski" was the most awesome movie ever.

  • James Michael Curley

    This is where he starts talking about how he was brain washed.
    Worked well for his father.

  • KennyFuckingPowers

    Fuck him. I'll get high with or without his fucking blessing.

  • RadioRehab


  • FNMA

    Just a little glitch. They update his firmware and he'll be right as rain.

    • chicken_thief

      If Mitt is really a bot, why'd they make his head so fucking big?

      • thedeathofirony

        They store the batteries in the skull.

  • Arken

    Mitt needs to upgrade his anger chip to a more realistic human-like version. Perhaps he can do it with firmware.

  • Beowoof

    As I recall the people making that stuff campaign issues would be republicans. So now this shithead doesn't want to talk about things that hurt his chances, what else is new.

  • freakishlywrong

    What's the over/under on when the Panderbot snaps and just starts shouting "ni**er!, ni**er!, ni**er!"

    • tessiee

      Can I get a side bet that somebody in his audience yells it out, and Mitt pretends to ignore it?

  • But he's right, it's important to focus on the REAL issues, like tree height, the make and models of his fleet of cars, and who, in fact, had let the dogs out.

    • chicken_thief

      I for one, really want to hear one more newly nuanced painfully parsed account of how his beautifully penned "fuck Detroit, let 'em fail" opt ed became the foundation of the Bush/Obama bailout and policy that saved the auto industry.

  • memzilla

    Having the tank labelled "CRUDE OIL" in the background, with Rmoney in front, is the most honest video of him I've seen.

  • Every time I see him, Willard reminds me of Clark Griswold. I have a feeling that Mittens campaign will end with him at Wallyworld armed with a marshmellow shooter and taking hostages.

    • Biff

      Perhaps, but Ann, nice though she may be, is no Beverly D'Angelo.

      • True. But there is also no Christie Brinkley… or is there?

  • kakotechnia

    Mitt Romney: Running to be America's thin-skinned, imperious boss.

    • memzilla

      Agreed. He needs at least two more layers of biofilm over his titanium endoskeleton.

  • SteveMcCroskey

    All he needs is a nice sweater vest to soften him up and make him look more human.

    • biblioteq_tress

      A sand blaster couldn't soften Mitt up.

  • SorosBot

    What does he do if you ask him about his complete 180 on his position on abortion rights?

    • biblioteq_tress

      "Don't you have any important issues to ask me about? Like the acceptable height of trees?"

    • BerkeleyBear

      Is it really a 180 or a 360? From the piece the Post has on him today, he was probably a little troglodyte about choice right until his mom ran as a pro-choice candidate, then reverted to type once it was expedient to do so.

    • MissNancyPriss

      We'll never know.

  • Tundra Grifter

    (r)Money wants to be treated like they do him on the FoxPAC. Their idea of a tough question is "What's your favorite cookie?"

    • Biff

      Mmmmm, cookies…

    • anniegetyerfun

      "Chocolate chip. No, oatmeal. No, vanilla wafers! I have consistently held the same position on cookie preference for the past five seconds or so."

    • b[redact]opple

      No, we now know he can fuck up cookies, too. Remember a couple of weeks ago, when he made that small-businessman cookie-baker cry?

  • Yippie!
    Meltdown in 5…4…3…2..1..

    • TootsStansbury

      Caused by a short circuit or his pants catching on fire?

  • OneYieldRegular

    Needs more turkey decapitations in the background.

  • Mizz Reporter better watch out Mitts got that I want to fire you look on his face.

  • PuckStopsHere

    Willard needs to fire up a fatty.

  • In that video, Colorado looked every bit as boring as Nebraska or Wyoming.

    I can't quite put my finger on why, but I kept thinking to myself "What this video needs is a guy in the background putting turkeys through a grinder."

    • widestanceromance

      The whole composition looks quite Hitchcockian.

  • widestanceromance

    I hope Romney has been delivered back to Tyrell for adjustments after his circuitry malfunction.

    The interviewer knew better than to say, "Tell me about your mother. . ." She's seen what happens.

    • metamarcisf

      What's a tortoise?

    • What's a tortoise?

    • widestanceromance

      What's a tortoise?

    • Steverino247

      Is there an echo in here?

    • ttommyunger

      He doesn't know, does he?

  • Generation[redacted]

    For pete's sake, reporters, ask him something important, like: "How big a failure is Obama?"

    • Chichikovovich

      Or "Do you believe that America is about Punishing Success"?

      • Generation[redacted]

        "Mr. Burns, Your Campaign Seems To Have the Momentum of a Runaway Freight Train. Why Are You So Popular?"

      • NellCote71

        Or: "Tell us again how you single-handedly bailed out the auto industry."

  • James Michael Curley

    The opportunity to watch videos like this at work makes me regret I get FIOS.

  • MosesInvests

    Illogical! Illogical! Norman, correlate!

  • prommie

    Scratch the surface, and what you have there is Montgomery Burns. "This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you."

    • tessiee

      "Scratch the surface, and what you have there is Montgomery Burns"

      He does suck at releasing the hounds, though.

  • Heh. My lead-in ad was for a Droid….

    Look, leave the poor man alone. He probably had a load of santorum drying in his magic panties and you know how that itches!

    I can't figure out whether his jaw or his butt cheeks are clenched tighter.

  • valgal2342

    I love the fart sound at the 3:28 mark.

    • tessiee

      It's certainly preferable to any of the other sounds in that video.

    • sezme

      And you can see that he's been programmed to apologize for it.

  • mavenmaven

    "don't you understand? I deserve to be president, because I fire small people like you, you little worm"

  • Chichikovovich

    I can understand why Romney is upset: the biased liberal media keeps switching up their "gotcha" questions. He had totally prepared boffo answers for the one about "What newspapers do you read?" and the Bush doctrine one.

  • not that Dewey

    Kelly Robinson has really let himself go.

  • James Michael Curley

    Good news for the Mittbot, the Windows 8 release date is October 2012, just in time for the election. The bad news is the entire HD will need to be erased since he is running Windows ME

  • Biff

    Wingtards will still vote for him because they feel he's the kind of guy they can have a beer glass of chardonnay Coke cup of hot cocoa lemonade with, OK?

  • anniegetyerfun

    Why on Earth would anyone agree to be interviewed standing up?

    • chicken_thief

      So he can look tall and Presidential?

      • anniegetyerfun

        No one ever looks at ease standing up.

        • Generation[redacted]

          Look at ease? The Mittbot? That ship has sailed, my friend.

          • anniegetyerfun

            At least when he is sitting down, they have to film him from the torso up, and it looks maybe 15% less awkward.

  • SharkSandwich

    Ask the folks at Oaksterdam University whether medical marijuana is a federal issue.

  • el_donaldo

    Mitt Romney is Duck Phillips.

  • Franknflower

    Mechanized fart at 3:30.

    • tessiee

      Coming from the robot, or what?

  • Nesnora

    Exxon is beyond government regulation and this motherfucker says it's beyond reproach because of the "small" businesses that it impacts? What, like the dummy corporations they setup for their CEO's to disperse huge profits and dodge taxes? Fuck him, seriously.

  • notreelyhelping

    So, so Don Draperesque…in the passive aggressive, frosty-reptile-eyes-behind-the-forced- smile way…not the sauve way. Work some cigarettes and martinis into the shtick, Mitt. Else it's just Mr. Ritchie Rich boy.

    • Except without the Don Draper charisma.
      El Donaldo hit the mark with Duck Phillips. Right down to the dog abuse.

  • Loosen up Mittbot. Do we need to oil your arm joints?

  • tessiee

    I don't know why anyone is surprised (if anyone is); it's been the rule of thumb since St. Raygun that it's bad form for reporters to ask questions other than "Why are you so awesome?" and "What are your talking points?".

    It's obvious from the video that Mitt was surprised as well as annoyed at the reporter actually, you know, asking him stuff, and that he was going to get his talking points said if he had to knock the reporter down and grab the mic out of her hand.

  • tessiee

    I'd succeeded in blocking him out up until now. I mean, I knew he existed, but I'd never heard him speak. He really does come across as wooden and deeply unlikeable in a sort of polite serial killer way, and every word and gesture just drips falseness.

  • tessiee

    Mitzi was probably all pissed off because he had to stand where there weren't any trees.

  • DemonicRage

    He is so ready to take hold of the reins of Government. There will be parties in South Carolina as, one by one, he dismantles every bit of the Obama legacy. No one will have to yell out, "You lie!" when he addresses the combined houses of the legislature. All of this is just months away. (Do you think we can get the pharmacies of the US to start dispensing cyanide capsules?)

  • tessiee

    Meh, I'm not impressed.
    coming from a family (and a state) where getting mad looks like the Joe Pesci "am I funny to you?" scene…
    by comparison, Mitt's tepid little hissy fit is like watching Mr. Rogers flip the bird.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Lose his cool? That reporter is just lucky Romney didn't hold her down and cut her hair

  • docterry6973

    Mitt was never cool, though his wife might have been before she was worn down by a lifetime of existential despair. I am guessing about that last part but I bet I'm right.

  • Nostrildamus

    Mitt's right. She should have asked more questions about Kenyan Socialism, and whether its right for America.

  • WTF? Marijuana should remain illegal because drug use in America is causing terrible problems in Mexico? First, fucknut, you're a Republican, so why are you pretending to care about Mexico? Second, considering that our fucked up drug laws are actually making things worse south of the border, maybe Romney should consider shutting the fuck and returning to outsourcing jobs and shuttering factories. He's obviously not fit for anything else.

  • DustBowlBlues

    That's right, Mittens, don't subsidize a new industry like green energy because Red China committed to that years ago. They subsidize what they consider the new Industrial Revolution with tons of whatever they call their weird money. Good news: we can buy solar panels cheap, as long as the Chinese keep offering them cheap, which they can do, since the commies who run their capitalist paradise totally do not trust the invisible hand of the market, because they are godless commies. See? We all benefit from Communism in the worker's paradise that is China.

    Oh, and Mittens is a plasticized dick of a man. The reporter failed to ask him one question from his list of index card responses. It's about jobs. Also.

  • rickmaci

    Damn local reporters who ask questions sent in by viewer/voters and who don't stick to the talking points in the press kit distributed by my handlers.

  • ttommyunger

    Who the fuck is running this guy's campaign? Standing on a dirt-pile, facing the fierce sun and desert wind while trying to look collected and in charge? I am not impressed. Pleased, but not impressed.

  • mayor_quimby

    I thought all of Mittens' kids were boys. What the fuck is up with those outfits?

  • dennis1943

    This man is not qualified to be human,let alone President……….

  • I am actually starting to think he is going to lose his temper during debates. Which would be hilarious.

  • fitley

    Romney loses his cool? He's not even in the same state as cool.

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