Obama Campaign: President’s L.A. Travel Will Not Disrupt Wonkette Drinky Thing And Meetup

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Looks like they got them a convoy!Your Wonkette was worried when LAObserved noted that yet another Obamajam was expected tomorrow (Thursday), just in time to disrupt traffic to the Wonkette Drinky Thing and Meetup just so he can go hang out with George Clooney. GODDAMN HIM!!! So we did what any self-respecting #WARBLOG would do, and emailed the nice campaign person who is constantly sending us “opposition research” on whatever dumb thing fell out of Mitt Romney’s mouth last, and asked:

Hey! Is Bammerz’ motorcade in Los Angeles tomorrow evening going to disrupt travel to the First Wonkette Drinky Thing and Meetup, or will he be choppering into the Valley?

These are important things that I we need to know!

Luckily, we have an answer, and that answer is “negatory”! Breaker breaker! Ten-four!

While details of the President’s method of travel are, of course, confidential, I think that the First Wonkette Drinky Thing and Meetup will go off without a hitch. LA traffic, on the otherhand, I can make no promises over.

Haw haw haw, Obama Campaign Person Whose Name We Are Not Mentioning Because What You Just Told Us Can Probably Get You Sent To Gitmo. HOW DARE YOU IMPUGN LOS ANGELES TRAFFIC! Oh, right.

So, see you tomorrow (Thursday) at Busby’s East, just west of LaBrea on Wilshire, 6:30-9:30, like so.

#BEER. #WAR.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 77 comments }

Barb May 9, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I could just see Michelle coming to the party and bitching at you guys for the fried food.

actor212 May 9, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Hey, if they get her drunk and she starts handing out spankings….

widestanceromance May 9, 2012 at 2:24 pm

And, if there's dancing. . .FLOTUS Justice will be served.

smashedinhat May 9, 2012 at 2:34 pm

If you can't fry it I don't eat it.

actor212 May 9, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Oh surrrrre, slut yourself in LA first, you cheap little Editrix, when you could have had the Big Apple!

If, you know what I mean. And I know you do.

sullivanst May 9, 2012 at 2:32 pm

That apple is sooooo big… and juicy. Can't wait to taste it!

actor212 May 9, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Here. Let me….peel it…for ya…

DaRooster May 9, 2012 at 3:18 pm

"Hey, do you like apples? I got her number! How do you like them apples?"

Pragmatist2 May 9, 2012 at 2:16 pm

My invitation must still be in the mail.

imissopus May 9, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Just another excuse for the Westsiders to be whiny-ass titty babbies about not showing up. But if the Editrix wants to change her mind and reschedule for next week anyway, when coincidentally I'll be back in town…

nounverb911 May 9, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Just invite Barry, and enjoy the traffic disaster.

actor212 May 9, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Make sure he has the Sexytime Secret Service detail, first

HistoriCat May 9, 2012 at 3:05 pm

I was just assuming Barry would show up with Clooney in tow. If that happens and we don't get EXCLUSIVE Wonkette pics, then I'm done here.

Goonemeritus May 9, 2012 at 2:23 pm

As a North-Easterner I will be raising a glass in private to honor this event. I would expect it will be my typical TGIF aperitif, Nyquil and seltzer.

widestanceromance May 9, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Paint thinner–never mix, never worry.

GOPCrusher May 9, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Sterno. What you don't drink, you can use to heat your Hobo Beans.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 9, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Shit. I hate cold beans.

MissNancyPriss May 10, 2012 at 1:00 am

Holy crap, that's mine, too. Except mine is the recession buster WalQuil and store brand Zantac knockoff.

nounverb911 May 9, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Will you be live-blogging the intergalactic kegger?

MissTaken May 9, 2012 at 2:25 pm

But according to Clueless "everywhere in LA takes 20 minutes".

actor212 May 9, 2012 at 2:27 pm

It's true!

At least that's what I told her when I dallied with a hooker "buying a pack of cigarettes on the corner".

Doktor StrangeZoom May 9, 2012 at 2:26 pm

11 LONGHAIRED FRIENDS OF JESUS IN A CHARTREUSE MICROBUS

Haha, I loved that song when I was 10! Breaker, Breaker, Rubber Duck!

AlterNewt May 9, 2012 at 2:49 pm

The first couple of hundred times, anyway.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 9, 2012 at 2:55 pm

When you're ten years old, hearing a shitty novelty song several hundred times is never enough.

James Michael Curley May 9, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Yet, rest homes are filling with the soulless, mind deprived baby boomers who listened to "Duke of Earl" too many times on a rainy afternoon.

MosesInvests May 9, 2012 at 2:58 pm

"Yeah, 10-4, could you put that microbus in behind that suicide jockey?" "Yeah, he's haulin' dynamite, he needs all the help he can get".

Biel_ze_Bubba May 9, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Keeping the bugs off my glass these days means keeping an eye on my bourbon.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 9, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Won't Obama be too busy spiking the football at Breitbart's grave to cause any problems with traffic?

Doktor StrangeZoom May 9, 2012 at 2:59 pm

let's dig him up and make his skull into a bong!

not that Dewey May 9, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Dude! That was my skull! I'm so wasted!

Sharkey May 9, 2012 at 2:27 pm

All proceeds go to charity! Just kidding, they don't.

actor212 May 9, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Which reminds me…any CPAs out there?

If my AA meetings are held in a church, do my fees count as medical care or a charitable deduction?

sullivanst May 9, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Given AA's quasi-religious wherever the meetings are held, just call it titheing.

MissTaken May 9, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Real, non-snarky answer:

Medical expense, not charitable donation since many AA offices are not registered (plus the donation by nature is anonymous and the IRS requires receipts for all donations nowadays).

You can also include in medical expenses amounts you pay for transportation to and from Alcoholics Anonymous meetings in your community if the attendance is pursuant to medical advice that membership in Alcoholics Anonymous is necessary for the treatment of a disease involving the excessive use of alcoholic liquors.

actor212 May 9, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Aw, crap. I gotta file an amended return, then….

I mean, my friend does. I was asking. For a friend.

muthalovin May 9, 2012 at 2:28 pm

So, he is coming to LA because of the Drinky Meetup, right? Like, Beer Summit?

BlueStateLibel May 9, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Sshhhhh, I have it on good authority that our Barb is actually Hopey in disguise. Masterful, 13th dimensional chess, isn't it?

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 9, 2012 at 2:29 pm

This is occurring in LA, so shouldn't you assume that a disaster of some sort will happen no mater what?

actor212 May 9, 2012 at 2:31 pm

I see a Michael Bay movie in the future.

Nesnora May 9, 2012 at 2:29 pm

I am both jealous and pleased this is happening.

nounverb911 May 9, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Where's the after-party?

Poindexter718 May 9, 2012 at 2:33 pm

TO: Wonkette
FROM: Secret Service
Further to your note to campaign HQ: negative on POTUS interruptus.
Big Stick will be taking Marine 1 to Clooney Manse, looping from LAX out over the Pacific and then coming back ashore low, with the setting sun behind. Will there be traffic on the 405? We can't tell you; that's classified.
PS: How late are y'all going to be there and are there any Colombinas on the editorial staff? Just curious/

bumfug May 9, 2012 at 2:35 pm

If Obama can show up unannounced at Roscoe's for chicken and waffles, why not the Wonkette party?

gurukalehuru May 9, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Are you going to have chicken and waffles?

Barb May 9, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Rebecca, are you going to leave one of us in charge here while you are gone? We could get unruly if you don't.

Anyone who wants to be hall monitor:
sign up below.

nounverb911 May 9, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Is this anything like the A/V squad?

Barb May 9, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Yeah, except hall monitors get laid every once in a while.

sullivanst May 9, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Emphasis on the "once" :P

rickmaci May 9, 2012 at 2:39 pm

We are going to turn this place upside down with a beer inspired live blog.

actor212 May 9, 2012 at 2:44 pm

I can't. Cheerleader practice.

HistoriCat May 9, 2012 at 3:10 pm

This is like having a party when your parents are out of town – it seems like a good idea until you realize you will never be able to cover up or fix all the damage people did. And I swear it was just a few friends from school – I don't who started handing out those Xeroxed invites at the other high school!

trampndirtdown May 9, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Damn neighbors always rat you out anyway.

redarmyzombie May 9, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Barb, could you do me a favor and tell whoever shows that I love them? I won't be able to do so in person…

Callyson May 9, 2012 at 2:36 pm

I'll be there on the late side as I have an exam, but I'll definitely be there and be ready to get my drink/snark on!

AlterNewt May 9, 2012 at 2:52 pm

We'll look for you. You look just like Michelle Obama, right?

Callyson May 9, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Hahahahaha, if only…I have blonde hair and blue eyes, actually. But my inner beauty (to the extent I have any) looks like her…

SayItWithWookies May 9, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Alas, I can't be there, but since 6:30 Cali time is 9:30 EDT, I can assure you that I'll be drinking right along with you. Unless I'm already passed out.

anniegetyerfun May 9, 2012 at 2:43 pm

And this is all due to Romney, so you should thank him.

ElPinche May 9, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Count down to Vagina town !

anniegetyerfun May 9, 2012 at 2:46 pm

I will want to see many photos of this drunken event. Include breasts, if possible.

ttommyunger May 9, 2012 at 3:02 pm

…not if I see you first!

ALIVE! May 9, 2012 at 3:07 pm

It must be true if a paid political professional tells you so.

DaRooster May 9, 2012 at 3:20 pm

If any of y'all wanna come up to Nor-Cal for the Emerald Triangle thingy… lemme know.

Wish I could be there…

Franknflower May 9, 2012 at 3:27 pm

As an Eastsider, there is not way I am driving all the way across town with Obama in the area. And by all the way across town, I mean five miles.

commiegirl May 9, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Somebody did not read the post. Sad face!

Biel_ze_Bubba May 9, 2012 at 5:31 pm

When are you guys going to get a subway, like a real city?

a_pink_poodle May 9, 2012 at 3:33 pm

I'm still waiting for a Seattle Wonkette party

DerrickWildcat May 9, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Lisco, Nebraska? It's centrally located. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lisco,_Nebraska

finallyhappy May 9, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I was in nebraska for work- once.

not that Dewey May 9, 2012 at 4:15 pm
commiegirl May 9, 2012 at 5:39 pm

I spent the night in Belle Fourche once! The nice lady made sure to give me the room "farthest away from the drunken Injuns."

DerrickWildcat May 9, 2012 at 3:54 pm

It is probably the 4th best state.

trampndirtdown May 9, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Cool new pics Dcat, the swallows showed up at my place today!

vodkamuppet May 9, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Soooo about this Detroit meet-up, any single Wonkette ladies coming? If so, how much can you drink? Do you you need a place to stay? Looking at you KBJ, how you doin?

redarmyzombie May 9, 2012 at 8:41 pm

ARGH!!! I ENVY you all!!! I live ten hours away, and I HAVEN'T GOT A CAR!!!!!

*cries*

Steverino247 May 9, 2012 at 9:04 pm

I expect a live blogging of my trip up there.

Seriously, I have the OK to leave work early, if I can, so a 6:30 arrival is possible. I have a work-related mandatory appearance obligation to attend to which I will bitch about when I get there until the beer kicks in. Anything I say sober will be NOT FOR PUBLICATION, though.

LetUsBray May 9, 2012 at 11:06 pm

My fellow Angelenos stuck in traffic tomorrow should be sure and thank the Scalia court and their Citizens United Next Tuesday ruling that makes perpetual turbo-fund-raising such an integral part of the electoral process.

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