BATTLE OF THE BULGE  8:21 pm May 8, 2012

Lugar Loses ‘Battle of Two Dicks’ Indiana Primary

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

At least the flag is in the right place.

Here is the ghostly ballroom where Dick Lugar’s six-term Senate career is doing a sad, invisible waltz of doom. NBC is calling the Indiana GOP Senate primary for teabagger Dick Mourdock, thereby “putting the seat in play for Democrats in the fall,” because Mourdock is some sort of terrible nut who has promised to leave little puddles of his urine for seniors to slip on wherever they are waiting in line for their Medicare pill bottles.

ALSO, TOO: Mitt Romney may now have a sip of his celebratory Shirley Temple, because he is the official winner of the Indiana and North Carolina GOP presidential primaries. Ron Paul, who has mysteriously forgotten to email us asking for money these last few weeks, is still around and holding a grim 0.1% lead over “no one” for the second place spot. [The Hill/TPM]

 
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{ 197 comments }

weejee May 8, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Score one for Mordor with Murderduck's win. How's 'bout Jebus' two Tarheeled daddies?

Redhead May 8, 2012 at 9:02 pm

You talking about amendment one? Currently winning by 60%. Join me in a glass (or 10) of wine.

weejee May 8, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Si.

Beyond the antigheyness, most of the bozos voting on this measure were oblivious to the fact that any & all legal protection for any civil unions & domestic partnerships, gay or straight, will get put in the shitter with this piece of shit legislation. Douchebags.

Redhead May 8, 2012 at 9:34 pm

The comments on a local media source actually tried to frame amendment one as a way to reduce health care costs by "getting rid of a loophole" that allowed unmarried people to actually have access to healthcare.

My liver hates 61% of NC right now.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 8, 2012 at 11:09 pm

My liver is a pretty solid hunk of disease thanks to NC right now, those fucking fucks. Can gay NC'ans just refuse to pay state/city/muni taxes until they get civil rights again? Or what?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 8, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Drinking while depressed is bad for ya. Or maybe it's being depressed while drinking. Anywhoodle. Sumfink.

fuflans May 8, 2012 at 9:25 pm

puts the dems in play. not all bad.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 8, 2012 at 11:07 pm

You called, weejee?

memzilla May 8, 2012 at 8:25 pm

"Don't Switch Dicks In The Middle Of A Screw." The anti-Nixon warning has been updated. And violated.

Isyaignert May 9, 2012 at 2:25 am

Ha! I remember that one – "Don't change Dicks in the middle of a screw, vote for Nixon in '72."

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 9, 2012 at 2:56 am

Also "Pull out, Dick, like yer farther shoulda done!"

thatsitfortheother1 May 9, 2012 at 3:58 am

Fall of 1972. I went by Nixon's campaign HQ in Austin to get a Nixon bumpersticker.

I affixed it proudly inside my toilet lid.

And 40 years later people are still voting for those douchebags.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 9, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Hard to believe, innit? An ancient friend of mine still has those commemorative Nixon stamps that come with a commemorative JAIL sticker you can stick 'em inside of. And yet the players at the top stay the same, it's only the eejits like us that are getting screwed that change each generation.

Arken May 8, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Yes, but the Ronulans tell me that somehow all the delegates for Gingrich and Santorum are going to go to Paul which means… he'd still have half the delegates Romney did. Therefore-

RON PAUL WINS!

Biel_ze_Bubba May 8, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Anybody know why the Libertardians don't try to peddle their wares overseas, where third (and fourth, and fifth) parties are sort of normal and actually take part in the government?

SayItWithWookies May 9, 2012 at 1:31 am

Because parliamentarianism is too good for foreigners? I'm not saying it makes sense — but that's the gist of the answer you'd get.

glamourdammerung May 9, 2012 at 1:39 am

They did that. Chile went back after they got rid of Pinochet and China is on the verge of collapse.

Monsieur_Grumpe May 8, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Ummmm? Yay?
I'm guessing here.

Pres.Beeblebrox May 8, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Somehow, this is GREAT NEWS for John McCain.

smokefilledroommate May 8, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Goddamn I hate those Politico caricatures.

user-of-owls May 8, 2012 at 8:32 pm

This is the only kind of 'gun control' the Teabaggers will tolerate. Why do they hate pistols so much?

weejee May 8, 2012 at 8:36 pm

And North Carolinians the, eh, the, well, the kinship of marriage.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 8, 2012 at 11:11 pm

As some other Tweet on Twitter pointed out today, you can still marry your cousin in NC. Just not your gay cousin.

Fare la Volpe May 9, 2012 at 8:48 am

Nah. Him you fag-drag.

OzoneTom May 8, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Sen. Lugar will console himself with the knowledge that he will never have to go to Indiana again.

Jukesgrrl May 8, 2012 at 8:46 pm

K Street, here he comes!

Wile E. Quixote May 8, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Nahhhh, I think a guy named Dick who got teabagged by another guy named Dick will end up on KY street.

DemmeFatale May 8, 2012 at 9:47 pm

You're a kinky little coyote today, aren't you?!

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 8, 2012 at 11:11 pm

SOMEbody's in a George C. Scottish mood today, I see.

Negropolis May 8, 2012 at 10:21 pm

He hasn't lived there in decades, anyway. lol

Now, it's time for the sweet, sweet grift of after-Congress.

BerkeleyBear May 8, 2012 at 11:47 pm

Ehh, you watch – he'll guest lecture at IU at the Congressional Institute Lee Hamilton started up when he retired. Then the TP will try to burn them both (and not in effigy).

rickmaci May 8, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Dick Mourdock will replace Dick Lugar. You've seen one Reptard Dick you've seen 'em all.

Radiotherapy May 8, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Dick on Dick, I'll bet there was a lot gay money thrown around.

criminogenic May 8, 2012 at 9:48 pm

So that guy really was on to something. Some guys asked if I was interested in a gay deposit while I was getting my car from a dark inner city car park the other night. Didn't seem like a particularly secure location for Financial transactions so I passed on that sweet gay cash.

Wile E. Quixote May 8, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Nothing to see here, nothing to see here, move along, just a white guy named "Dick" getting teabagged by another white guy named "Dick.". Just a typical day in the Republican party, keep the traffic moving folks.

Butch_Wagstaff May 8, 2012 at 8:52 pm

One Dick dicks another Dick.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 8, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Oh, Butch, you sound so … butch when you say that.

Sharkey May 8, 2012 at 8:41 pm

36 years from now, Mourdock will be exactly like Lugar.

This is their strategy. It almost makes sense.

Jukesgrrl May 8, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Keep the conserve in conservative.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 8, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Keeps the "con" in conservative, at any rate.

SayItWithWookies May 9, 2012 at 1:40 am

Oh, not at all — it took Lugar 36 years to become washed-up, discredited and useless. Mourdock'll have that coming in.

Radiotherapy May 8, 2012 at 8:42 pm

it was a hard fought sword fight.

criminogenic May 8, 2012 at 9:55 pm

..the battle did not cease till both sides were spent.

Pres.Beeblebrox May 8, 2012 at 8:42 pm

What's going on with Amendment 1? Sadly, I fear the teathugs are out in force today and it will pass.

Jukesgrrl May 8, 2012 at 8:52 pm

The activist on Saturday's Chris Hayes program said they are getting more support than they ever thought possible but they still believe they are about 17 points behind.

Negropolis May 8, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Forget it, Beeble. It's North Carolina.

Seriously, this thing was expected to pass for months, now. It's hard enough to even fight these folks to a draw like in California, let alone not slip in the South.

fartknocker May 9, 2012 at 1:27 am

Tonight two beautiful lesbians are making sweet love in Charleston after eating oysters and grits with shrimp. And the North Carolina voters didn't make one bit of difference in their relationship.

Except both of these gorgeous women have PHd.'s in Biology who are developing a genome for curing diabetes will leave. A really cool Research Triangle medical firm will collapse because these scientists they courted realized that NC is full of stupid voters who care more about the religion than logic. Because that's what the minister told them.

Meanwhile NC Farmer Brown who grows Cotton and Tobacco who has received numerous FDA subsidies believes he is the king because he doesn't want fags in the Tarheel state.

The venture capitalists will freak when they learn the smart, beautiful couple moves to Vermont or some other safe, sane state and begin their own enterprise and live happily every after. And pay taxes.

Stupid fuckwits. I hope NC feels safer.

Wile E. Quixote May 8, 2012 at 8:43 pm

So since Hoosiers love Dicks so much does this mean that Indianapolis is the new San Francisco?

Jukesgrrl May 8, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Cows and basketball aren't nearly fabulous enough.

arihaya May 8, 2012 at 8:44 pm

who will be Dems's candidate? Richard Eloi ?

cheetojeebus May 8, 2012 at 8:45 pm

It's like some warped greek tragedy? Two horrific priapian trolls with carnivorous dicks wrestle like slugs.

Sir_Fartz_Alot May 8, 2012 at 9:48 pm

in the end everyone loses

DemmeFatale May 8, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Let me be the first to acknowledge the genius that is "priapian troll."

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 8, 2012 at 11:15 pm

That's an MST3K original, innit?

cheetojeebus May 9, 2012 at 6:19 am

A milestone in the history of film and claymation.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 9, 2012 at 12:33 pm

I could help with the sets. Also, I found a truly awful movie about carnivorous (cannibalistic? Oh,they all are, aren't they?) slugs on Netflix. We could sample.

glamourdammerung May 8, 2012 at 8:45 pm

So is the Senate going to get "teabagged" again?!?!?

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 8, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Let the Great Republican Blood Letting Begin!!!

Schmannnity May 8, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Good news! If the Republicans win the Senate, they will have a totally incompetent junior senator from Indiana instead of a respected 36 year veteran.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 8, 2012 at 11:16 pm

This is good. Very good. Hope the stupid little fucker ends up blowing his own dick off within the first thirty days and remains quiet and ineffective until ousted in the following election.

Negropolis May 8, 2012 at 11:41 pm

Republicans senators don't actually have to accomplish much to totally destroy the body. They just have to be reliable obstructionist vote. That's it. Stack on top of that that you can control a caucus better with more soldiers and fewer generals, and this is decidedly not a good thing. Leadership is honing this party into a spear.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 9, 2012 at 12:00 am

When he accomplishes the usual next-to-nothing for his constituents, though, as the teabaggers in our Legislature seem to have adopted as their signature, they'll think twice about returning him to the Halls of Power. I take inspiration from the fuckbagger fucking up of their hated "pork-barrel politics," when they neatly shot themselves through both feet, their collective and ginormous ass, and their very empty heads (just a flesh wound!) by eliminating the only thing their constituents want from them — those sweet Federal tax dollars. Now they're having to beg and grovel to get the handouts their ousted ex-members used to get for free because they knew where the bodies were buried. So, in that sense, Mourdock is good. Hopefully, he will do as his fellow teabaggage did, and blow himself right out of power in short order.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 8, 2012 at 11:51 pm

Are you suggesting that he wouldn't have the unbridled power, unquestioning respect, and total control that Boner exerts over the highly disciplined GOPtard baggers in the House?

Sharkey May 8, 2012 at 8:51 pm

little puddles of his urine for seniors to slip on

That refers to the photo at the top, for anyone following along.

JustPixelz May 8, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Lugar really spared all expense for his would-be victory celebration. I count over ten balloons.

Waiting for Mourlock's "I am not a witch" ad in 3 … 2 …

NYNYNYjr May 9, 2012 at 12:47 am

"I'm not a witch! I'm a mourlock! We've been at war with witches since the 1300s!"

JackDempsey1 May 8, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Why is the speaker's platform only 6 inches high?
Wouldn't it have been cheaper to just have the candidate stand on his tiptoes?
Then there'd be more campaign money left over for heavy drinking/constituent interaction.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 9, 2012 at 12:02 am

Or get him Mitch Daniels' used shoe lifts. That guy has to be all of 5' 3" and, as a vertically-disadvantaged-American, I say that with some glee. Has anyone proposed him for RMONEY's Veep yet?

GuanoFaucet May 8, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Romney takes a lot of credit for Mourdock's win tonight.

ifthethunderdontgetya May 8, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Two Dickheads and a Microphone…
~

Blueb4sunrise May 8, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Beah heah!
Beah heah!
Getcher icecold beah heah!

Fukui-sanYesRadio May 8, 2012 at 9:04 pm

OT: This Gaffe Dodger game is actually kinda fun. Take the stand as a Republican candidate and see how you do on world affairs etc.

I scored 100% in NH (despite being very very tempted to lead the US back to the Jazz Age via the poetry of Baudelaire) but only 83% in Florida.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 9, 2012 at 12:03 am

I had a few wild moments with wanting radical Islamic jihadists to hate us for our foam hats, but did you know that if you play it more than twice in a row, it's set up to CHEAT?

BZ1 May 8, 2012 at 9:05 pm

so much for consultation, conciliation and collaboration …

Beowoof May 8, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Mourdock or Morlock, either way I am very concerned.

Fukui-sanYesRadio May 8, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Howlin' Mad Mourdock, by the look of it.

Biff May 8, 2012 at 11:45 pm

Damn it, beat me to the A-Team ref by 2 hours…

fuflans May 8, 2012 at 9:27 pm

you should be. he's batshit.

Veritas78 May 8, 2012 at 9:06 pm

I worked for Senator Charles Percy in 1978-80 (R-IL). We thought wacko right-wing freshman Senator Dick Lugar was an ominous sign of where the Republican party was heading. We were right, but had no idea that he'd eventually be defeated as a moderate quisling.

Beetagger May 8, 2012 at 9:22 pm

It won't end until some benevolent superpower liberates us.

iburl May 8, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Glenn Beck?

Sharkey May 8, 2012 at 9:31 pm

The Martians have been too quiet lately, I dunno…

MosesInvests May 8, 2012 at 11:45 pm

No one would have believed, in the last years of the 19th century, that Earthly affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space….

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 9, 2012 at 12:04 am

I, for one, welcome our new feline overlords.

Monsieur_Grumpe May 8, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I predict by the year 2045 republicans will have gone so far to the right that they will be unable to speak in complete sentences. Instead they will bark out words that have been genetically imbedded in their brains from years of reading nothing but Red State bumper stickers. Conversation with a genetically pure winger will go something like….
GUY: “How ya doing Frank?”
Future Wing Nut: “IMPEACH HIPPIES!!!!”
GUY: “Uh?”
Future Wing Nut: “JESUS KILLS!!!11”
GUY: “I got to brush my cat….”
Future Wing Nut: “TAX THE POOR! FEED THE RICH! KISS MY SUV! DRILL GRANNY DRILL!!!”
And so on.

Negropolis May 8, 2012 at 10:25 pm

I'm telling you, these fuckers won't be happy until we're in a full dictatorship.

Fukui-sanYesRadio May 8, 2012 at 10:33 pm

More like a Corporate State. I'm actually serious.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 8, 2012 at 11:24 pm

I think we all are, dear. I look forward to death as one way out of this hideous mess.

memzilla May 9, 2012 at 8:49 am

"Fascism is a religion…. Fascism should more appropriately be called Corporatism because it is a merger of state and corporate power."
— Benito Mussolini

Texan_Bulldog May 8, 2012 at 9:18 pm

No snark: the dude is 80 and he looks like he's about 60. Not sure what deal he made with the devil but I'd be willing to negotiate.

weejee May 8, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Maybe he's kin to Dick Clark?

iburl May 8, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Evil wizards are hard to defeat.
Mourdock's magic was too arcane and his bumper sticker slogan was pretty unique:

Chill and deadly, Ruin’s hands
E'er spin the threads of death
In darkness, I wait for thee
I hasten thy last breath

fuflans May 8, 2012 at 9:30 pm

and the right goes farther right and the normal people move to safe blue places and the red places get freakier and redder and they still have the vote and two senators.

how does this end?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 8, 2012 at 11:24 pm

War?

Biff May 8, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Or death. Might not be the worst option.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 9, 2012 at 12:05 am

Oh, we'll all go together when we go …

How DOES the next line go, sweetie?

Biff May 9, 2012 at 1:27 am

What a comforting thought that is to know…

Does Lehrer still play in the City at all?

redarmyzombie May 9, 2012 at 12:20 am

Well, thoughts of a certain Jim Jones come to mind…

Dildeaux May 9, 2012 at 9:09 am

Badly.

Fukui-sanYesRadio May 8, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Breaking NC news: the result you expected.

fuflans May 8, 2012 at 9:35 pm

god bless america.

but only some parts of america.

weejee May 8, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Raleigh-Durham is awash in santorum????? Well maybe not.

Negropolis May 8, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Wait, you're saying they voted to reinsert witch-burning as an option for capital punishment, down there? Better watch your ass, Bev Perdue.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 8, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Why "Radio," sweetie?

Biff May 8, 2012 at 11:51 pm

Maybe solidarity with the RIP on Radio's drinking career?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 9, 2012 at 12:07 am

Damn! ANOTHER one bites the dust? Good thing I took up drinking again.

Just kidding, although I wish I wasn't. Seems I can't drink at all without feeling queasy these days, although there's nothing physically wrong with me. So, goodbye booze.

Fare la Volpe May 9, 2012 at 8:49 am

I'll drink enough for both of us.

*glug*

Fukui-sanYesRadio May 9, 2012 at 6:35 am

Exactly that. He was kind enough to change his name when I had trouble, so I shall do the same for him.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 9, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Dear heart, I can only give you more hugs and love. My nym-shifting is entirely managed by the Repuglycunt Party.

glamourdammerung May 8, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Too bad the Democrats lack the decency and spine to move the convention.

Negropolis May 9, 2012 at 2:36 am

They shouldn't have to move their years-planned convention because some trolls fucked up by banning something that was already banned. Trust me, having it in Charlotte, at all, wasn't meant as a reward, it was meant to symbolize a conquest, like building a fort in a hostile land.

Hell, if I were the DNC, I'd have plopped this thing down at Fort Sumter in Charleston Harbor or maybe even in Savannah. Just because.

horsedreamer_1 May 9, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Just remember: the last DNC in the Southeast ended up with Bill Clinton droning on for two hours & Rob Lowe sexing an underage girl. (She was 16, at least; old enough to consult, in Georgia?)

Sharkey May 8, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Don't worry though, the "Battle of Three Dicks" is gonna be a mother fucking hootenanny!

fuflans May 8, 2012 at 9:35 pm

mr fuflans is at bulls game tonight. lugar should have gone with him.

AlterNewt May 8, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Dick Lugar. Way too liberal.

ProgressiveInga May 8, 2012 at 10:11 pm

That's it, I'm not even going to Carolina in my mind.

Jukesgrrl May 8, 2012 at 11:36 pm

Brava!

Negropolis May 8, 2012 at 10:16 pm

I see Dems feebly trying to spin this as some kind of good news for Dems, and maybe relative to totally horrible news this is "good news." But, let us be clear about something: Indiana ain't Delaware. Christine O'Donnell could have been elected in Hoosierland (i.e. The Mississippi of the Great Lakes), and I'll leave it at that. All around, a pretty bad night for human decency.

BarackMyWorld May 8, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Or we could end up with another Evan Bayh. *vomit*

Negropolis May 8, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Apparently, the Dem that is running is selling himself as a "centrist" so, at best, that's what we're likely to get. There is no solid Dem that can be elected, state-wide, in Indiana, anymore. Indiana is oddly trending more conservative even as its major metropolitan areas grow.

Biff May 8, 2012 at 11:52 pm

Hope he's got an Etch-a-Sketch.

glamourdammerung May 9, 2012 at 12:06 am

I could deal with having another bi Senator from Indiana if it meant not having McConnell as Majority Leader.

Fare la Volpe May 9, 2012 at 8:47 am

You mean the former headquarters of the KKK is kinda conservative? Shocked am I!

Negropolis May 9, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Not shocked that it's conservative. Shocked that it's becoming more conservative as it becomes more urbanized. Again, Indiana has always been seen, up here, as a piece of the South north of the Ohio.

Radiotherapy May 8, 2012 at 10:20 pm

What do lesbians and the local ABC affiliate covering Lugee have in common?

They don't do dick.

ProgressiveInga May 8, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Don't make me get my purse!

chascates May 8, 2012 at 10:22 pm

The good people in North Carolina can sleep well tonight; their state joins almost 30 others in ensuring that same sex couples cannot be considered married. There will be less divorce, less adultery, happier and better children in the state. Spousal abuse, broken families, and sexual crimes will be more rare and God Himself will favor the state for their choice.

Boojum May 9, 2012 at 6:30 am

And Jesus will return, riding a triceratops.

Negropolis May 9, 2012 at 7:45 am

Only tangentially related, but doesn't this also remove benefits for common law marriages? I believe that's what ended up happening here in Michigan since the amendment was so broadly written.

HistoriCat May 9, 2012 at 11:45 am

I believe that it does. Suck on that you Appalachian hillbillies! You're going to have to get formally married if you want those sweet benefits. No, we don't care that for 250 years your ancestors have done it this way.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 9, 2012 at 12:53 pm

The fact is that common-law marriage was historically recognized for THOUSANDS of years prior to the Church taking over the lucrative marrying business. At common law, if a man and woman hold forth as a married couple, the state/government entity is obliged to accept them in good faith as such and to extend towards them both the benefits and responsibilities of a married couple. This bullshit piece of legislation has turned history on its head, and will have far more dire results than the idiots of NC have any inkling of, as yet.

not that Dewey May 8, 2012 at 10:28 pm

I can't decide which Ween song about dicks is more appropriate at this moment — Flies on my Dick or Waving my Dick in the Wind.

4TheTurnstiles May 9, 2012 at 7:40 am

"Mr Richard Smoker." Or "My Own Bare Hands." Plenty of cock songs in the Ween oeuvre, mang.

Negropolis May 8, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Kind of an obvious observation, but to ban something that's already banned tells you just how cynical those that wrote the amendment are. Same sex marriage was never legal in North Carolina, but now the cynical writers of this shit get to give Bubba the opportunity to put an exclamation point at the end, well…just because.

You know, I don't know what the president is going to say down in Charlotte in a few months. But it better be fucking brilliant. Next time someone whines "both parties are the same" remind them that we don't pass intentionally mean-spirited shit to hurt and disenfranchise people, even people who fucking hate our (liberals) guts.

chascates May 8, 2012 at 10:47 pm

The ignorance of most people (or the effect of absorbing media via certain slanted outlets) has enabled state politicians to rail against sharia law, the encroachment of the United Nations, fear of losing the Second Amendment, indoctrination of school children, and the abolition of Christianity. What is already forbidden can be considered commonplace, what is ludicrous is believed prevalent.

The rise of the far right conservative control of media after the Goldwater loss in 1964 has led us to a Balkanization of truth and reality. I don't fear a new Civil War as much as I fear a long period of descent enabling the rich interests to force the rest of us back into a feudal state.

(I mentioned earlier I had a 12-pk of PBR.)

Fukui-sanYesRadio May 8, 2012 at 11:02 pm

The rise of the far right conservative control of media after the Goldwater loss in 1964 has led us to a Balkanization of truth and reality. I don't fear a new Civil War as much as I fear a long period of descent enabling the rich interests to force the rest of us back into a feudal state.

Radiotherapy recommended this excellent book which I'm most of the way through. It backs you up all the way.

It's scary, to be honest, and directly references Lugar. Lugar is no longer in vogue since he was prepared to even consider compromise rather than walk to the drum of Grover and that fucking cunt Stephen Moore.

Redhead May 9, 2012 at 8:37 am

I'm really not sure how it passed – everyone I know, liberal and conservative, voted against it (albeit for different reasons).

Negropolis May 9, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Are you being serious? You don't know how this passed in deep-fried North Carolina? North Carolina has come a long way from Helms, but it's still in the South. Again, this shit even passes in California and Maine. That it was only a 20 point spread is far more surprising than that it passed.

Redhead May 10, 2012 at 7:02 am

Well the thing here is that it didn't just say "evil gheys can't get married." It said that the only domestic union recognized is a MARRIAGE between man and woman. Even the conservatives I know started going, "hold up wtf this is too much government" or "hold up you guys this isn't just the bad bad gheys, this is gonna mess with us too!" I was hoping the fact that they made it SO broad would kill it.

Then again I'm relatively young and apparently the olds came out by the busload.

ttommyunger May 8, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Meh, I wrote Indiana off years ago, along with Iowa, Utah, Texas, Arizona and a few others. If Barry loses in November I might as well write the whole fucking Country off.

finallyhappy May 8, 2012 at 10:50 pm

If so, then Hola, mis amigos, Bienvenidos a Costa Rica con mi familia.

Biff May 8, 2012 at 11:56 pm

Exactly why I bought Rosetta Stone. I thought it would be rude of me to arrive in my new homeland and not at least be trying to speak the native language.

gurukalehuru May 9, 2012 at 12:54 am

Don't write off Iowa.

ttommyunger May 9, 2012 at 7:00 am

I blame Iowa for inflicting Grassley on us….repeatedly.

HistoriCat May 9, 2012 at 11:56 am

Maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part but I keep thinking that Texas could be more competitive if the Dems would put a little effort into the state. Of course, when you (not you you but the Democratic party) write off a state, there's little chance of ever developing folks who could be future candidates. That's why in 2010 I had nobody to vote for in my Congressional district.

ttommyunger May 9, 2012 at 1:10 pm

“Vote For?” What a luxury! Most Americans, myself included all too often, wind up voting against.

HistoriCat May 9, 2012 at 1:23 pm

It's hard to vote against when there's no there there! Seriously, it's like one of those dictatorial elections where there's one name on the ballot, so you can either vote for the asshole on there … or not. Take it or leave it!

ttommyunger May 9, 2012 at 1:32 pm

We're almost there, sweetcheeks.

BarackMyWorld May 8, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Dick dick dick dick dick dick dick!

How many dicks is that?

A lot!

BarackMyWorld May 8, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Assuming age is not an issue, I'd be willing to bet Barry is already trying to get Lugar in as Secretary of State when Hillary Clinton leaves.

Negropolis May 8, 2012 at 11:06 pm

I can bet you he isn't. Barry may loves him some Lugar, but he certainly doesn't love him that much, thank god.

flamingpdog May 8, 2012 at 10:55 pm

What is Murdoch's position on Mourdock?

Jukesgrrl May 8, 2012 at 11:32 pm

U sux?

owhatever May 8, 2012 at 10:57 pm

You put your Right Dick in, you pull the old Dick out,
You put your new Dick in, and you shake it all about,
You do the hokey-pokey and you turn your Dick around,
And that's what its all a…bout…Yeh.

gurukalehuru May 9, 2012 at 12:55 am

You could base a film on that.

Fare la Volpe May 9, 2012 at 8:44 am

There already is a film based on that. It's hosted on Porn Hub.

BarackMyWorld May 8, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Assuming he wins his primary, Orrin Hatch becomes the next Republican to be President Pro Tempore of the Senate (also assuming they take control sometime in the next 6 years). Even though both Lugar and Hatch took office at the same time, Lugar outranked Hatch because Indiana had a larger population the year they took office.

Jukesgrrl May 8, 2012 at 11:32 pm

I don't think that's a safe thing to assume.

BarackMyWorld May 9, 2012 at 12:12 am
Negropolis May 8, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Yeah, but what does this mean, or are you simply stating a fact?

BarackMyWorld May 9, 2012 at 12:04 am

Mostly stating a fact, but also reminding everyone who could become 3rd in line for the presidency….not that we could probably ever do worse than Ted Stevens or Strom Thurmond.

(I'm of the opinion that the current line of succession should be repealed, because including members of the legislative branch violates separation of powers, but that's a debate for another time.)

flamingpdog May 8, 2012 at 11:03 pm

OT, but this being the late-night crowd, I suspect somone or another will actually sit back and take the time to enjoy "You're so Bain."

BarackMyWorld May 9, 2012 at 12:05 am

Mitt probably thinks that song is about him.

(Ok…it is.)

bflrtsplk May 9, 2012 at 7:55 am

I thought the song was about Warren Beatty or Mick Jagger. Has anyone ever seen the Mittster and the Mickster in the same place at the same time?

Millennial Malaise May 8, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Is this what they call a "no matter who wins, we all lose" type of deals?

LionHeartSoyDog May 8, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Triple-dick goat stands out in Votar Opshuns.
Go/Murka 2012!

Goat'sHead Soup 4 Veep!

flamingpdog May 8, 2012 at 11:35 pm

And back in Wisconsin.

Negropolis May 8, 2012 at 11:36 pm

I absolutely can't wait for this battle. Wisconsin, you have a rematch and a chance to correct a mistake. Take the life-line, alread, and we'll act like this Walker-thing never happened.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 8, 2012 at 11:55 pm

Mourdock on Congress: "“I think there needs to be more partisanship."

How fucking more partisan can it get than 100% obstructionist, 100% of the time?

criminogenic May 8, 2012 at 11:59 pm

shooting each other? I recall that suggestion floating to the top of pustulous bile that fronts for ideas from those with spam for brains.

tihond May 9, 2012 at 12:00 am

Not as good as Tolkien's "Battle of the Five Dicks."

redarmyzombie May 9, 2012 at 12:16 am

So in other words, the republican circle-jerk isn't doing so well? Go figure. Oh, and by the by:

I MISSED YOU, WONKETEERS!!!!!!

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 9, 2012 at 12:44 am

What were you throwing, sweetie?

redarmyzombie May 9, 2012 at 12:52 am

Ugh, I've been stuck prepping for college finals the past few days. Pain in the ass…I seriously am in dire need of sleep. I just had to stop by to feed my addiction to Snark first though. 0.0

Oh, and no, I'm still not finished with my classes yet. *sigh*

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 9, 2012 at 1:08 am

Well, at least you didn't say "up." (Hugs the li'l zombie) Stay strong, it'll be over soon enough, and you'll still have us.

redarmyzombie May 9, 2012 at 1:19 am

Oh, I'm almost done. By the end of next week, everything will be over (free at last, free at last. Thank god almighy…) In the meantime though, I hope I stop having those dreams about nothing but math the whole time. Seriously, I nearly cried when I woke up this morning. DX

Anyhoo, thanks for the encouragement, Ann-money! *hugs back* You always bring a smile to my face.

Dr. Nick Riviera May 9, 2012 at 12:50 am

As a Purdue undergrad, I had the…fortune…of living in Indiana between 2006 and 2010. I remember writing both Lugar and Bayh to bitch about something and calling their offices. Lugar wrote me back and his aide answered the phone. Bayh just let it ring and didnt even send me a form letter. I guess all that is to say, I feel an inkling of pity for Lugar. I imagine he feels like Dr. Frankenstein would have felt when he knew the monster was coming to kill him.

not that Dewey May 9, 2012 at 12:51 am

Did Dick Lugar eat a dog or something?

unclejeems May 9, 2012 at 1:18 am

Is it hock a Lugar or Dick a loogie? I'm confused.

Troglodeity May 9, 2012 at 1:21 am

I'll bet those two Dicks together don't add up to one John Travolta. Although they're each probably just as wiry and unkempt.

littlebigdaddy May 9, 2012 at 1:35 am

Dick Mourdock? SRSLY? Is he a semi-undead vampire (not sexy, obv) or somethiing?

Billmatic May 9, 2012 at 1:40 am

"I challenge you to find words that talk about Medicare or Medicaid or, yes, even Social Security. You know, Article I, Section 8 says the U.S. government shall have the power to tax to pay off its debts, to pay for its defense, and then it says to provide for the general welfare.” ~ Mourdock (from the article linked in the op)

and i'm supposed to believe he graduated college?

where's that long form graduation certificate mr. mourdock

AddHomonym May 9, 2012 at 2:08 am

So if the Democrap beats Mourdock, Indiana will be dickless?

Negropolis May 9, 2012 at 2:59 am

You know, I was watching th news, last night, and they interviewed and elderly man outside his polling place. They asked if he'd voted for Lugar, and he pauses long-and-hard as if he doesn't want to answer. The reporter keeps presssing, and he informs him that he'd voted for Lugar, forever, but didn't this time. Prying still harder, the guy goes into how he voted to get someone in the Senate that would "fix it" (whatever the hell that means), and then as is always the cases ends it by saying that he wants to send a message to Obama that he can't get everything he wants or some shit. And,what message is that? That you are totally willing to cut off your nose to spite your face?

We all knew this is where this is going; this is what we're dealing with. This has been the same voter since January 2009. I'm not losing hope of winning in November, but I'm increasingly losing hope that it's worth any president's time to govern what is left of this nation. As a sarcastic sign reads in a rather abandoned, weed-chocked section of the otherwise vibrant Midtown of Detroit:

"You've Won All This!"

HistoriCat May 9, 2012 at 12:00 pm

I'm guessing that guy was a 27%er.

Negropolis May 9, 2012 at 5:46 am

OT: Oh boy, how I love these titles in today's Detroit Free Press:

Auto rescue remark haunts Romney in Michigan

Romney's at it again with the auto bailouts

How Mitt Romney saved Detroit only in his dreams

God, they aren't giving him any quarter, here…and I love it.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 9, 2012 at 12:37 pm

I just always assumed you WORKED for them, N.

Negropolis May 9, 2012 at 7:44 am

Poor fools. The Hoosierlanders will find out soon enough Mourdock is what you get stuck with when you find a stranger in the alps…

bflrtsplk May 9, 2012 at 7:53 am

“Mourdock is some sort of terrible nut who has promised to leave little puddles of his urine for seniors to slip on wherever they are waiting in line for their Medicare pill bottles.“

Those little puddles should be tested for … something.

mrblifil May 9, 2012 at 10:15 am

It's like matter meeting anti-matter, only with dicks.

Arkoday May 9, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Indiana don't want me
Lord I can't go back there

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 9, 2012 at 3:02 am

Not for at least 20+ years, sweetheart, which is the last time I caught him there in concert while madly in love with a girl who called that fair city home. (Yeah, another one. Sue me.)

Fare la Volpe May 9, 2012 at 8:41 am

It didn't work for blacks under Jim Crow – something tells me it won't work here.

bagofmice May 9, 2012 at 9:34 am

I remember waking up to dreams of normalized database schemas.

Biff May 9, 2012 at 9:53 am

No finer reason, for anything.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 9, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Armed mass uprising? Naah. Too few of us. Gad, I hate these ancient festering bigots.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 9, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Don't *do* that, sugarbuns. Plays hell with the complexion, and we don't want your sweet, innocent boyish looks to be replaced by anything DorianGrayish. At least, not till you're done conquering THE WORLD!

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