BACK IN BLACK  3:34 pm May 8, 2012

Obama Administration (In The) Black

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

This is your bank account, slob.President Taxes has dealt a new blow to capitalism and job creation and puppies and rainbows, and that is by running a surplus for the first time since the recession ‘sploded in 2008. April saw a positive $58 billion in the old ledger column of however balance sheets work, due to increased revenues (maybe because more people have jobs?) and also cuts in stuff. And so it shouldn’t be more than 10 minutes or so — 20 at the outside — before Rich Lowry starts screaming about how he needs tax cuts, since people know better than the government how to spend their money (blowout in the As Seen On TV aisle, Bump-Its for everyone!) and also because the government has more than it needs. (The government does not actually have more than it needs, because — we’re not sure if people are aware of this — we have a thing called “a debt,” all $15 trillion of which Obama invented, in his time machine.)

The U.S. government recorded a budget surplus of $58 billion in April, the Congressional Budget Office estimated on Monday, breaking a streak of deficits that began in 2008.

The surplus — the first of Barack Obama’s presidency — was the result of both increased tax collection and lower government spending. Before April, the government had not run a surplus since September 2008, the month that the financial crisis struck the U.S. economy. [...]

The improved budget picture will not put an end to election-year sparring about the deficit, however. The U.S. is running a debt of $15.7 trillion, a number often pointed out by Obama’s Republican critics, including White House hopeful Mitt Romney.

We feel like we might remember something in the far distant past, through space and time, when a country might have had a surplus, and one man wanted to save that money in case we needed it, and the other man wanted to blow it on coke and hookers, and then everybody laughed at the first man because he wore earth tones and now we are all fucked. [MarketWatch, via HuffPo]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 118 comments }

nounverb911 May 8, 2012 at 3:36 pm

"Profits are un-American."
–Fox News

Wait! What?

Doktor StrangeZoom May 8, 2012 at 3:36 pm

This is a sad day for America.

Barb May 8, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Has Romney taken credit for this yet?

nounverb911 May 8, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Has Romney baptized it yet?

anniegetyerfun May 8, 2012 at 3:39 pm

"The only reason that we are running a surplus is because President Obama took my fiscal advice. Seriously, I call him every night and offer him advice on what to do with his day. So this was really all my doing."

SorosBot May 8, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Just like Obamacare?

DaRooster May 8, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Not yet but I am sure he will take a tax credit for this.

GOPCrusher May 8, 2012 at 4:49 pm

I would imagine that this will be touted as an example of the fine Bush Fiscal Policies.

actor212 May 8, 2012 at 3:37 pm

A sur-what, now?

DOES HE NOT READ THE SCRIPTS????

Lascauxcaveman May 8, 2012 at 3:38 pm

The surplus — the first of Barack Obama’s presidency — was the result of both increased tax collection…

Waitaminute! I think we may be on to something!

Mumbly_Joe May 8, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Increased taxes lead to greater revenues? That's crazy talk! Next you'll be saying that cutting the minimum wage doesn't help fight poverty!

GOPCrusher May 8, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Obviously, we need more tax cuts.

actor212 May 8, 2012 at 3:38 pm

In fairness to Republicans, we are only running this surplus because Obama picked up a few deposit bottles on his way home from the office every night.

Wile E. Quixote May 8, 2012 at 4:25 pm

And because he hasn't blown it on malt liquor yet.

starfanglednut May 8, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Fried chicken and watermelon, also too.

Schmannnity May 8, 2012 at 3:38 pm

$58 billion in surplus? Time to cut taxes.

Baconzgood May 8, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Lets look into Baconz Magic 8-Ball GOP Spin Dr. Thingie (patent pending).

*Shaking it up*

OBAMA COOKED THE NUMBERS

*Shaking it up*

IT'S THE TEA PARTY FRESHMEN THAT SHOULD GET CREDIT

*Shaking it up*

THIS SHOWS THAT THE CUTS ARE WORKING. LET'S GET RID OF NPR

DaRooster May 8, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Never shake a baby Magic 8 Ball…

Baconzgood May 8, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Shaken baby syndrome. Best band name EVAR.

HELisforHEL May 8, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Awww man, we had a thing we were gonna call 'The Baby Shakers' a couple of years ago. Too bad all we did was drink instead of play gigs. MISSED OPPORTUNITIES.

Baconzgood May 8, 2012 at 4:22 pm

I'd have seen you guys even if you sucked.

GOPCrusher May 8, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Let me guess, a Justin Bieber cover band?

Schmannnity May 8, 2012 at 3:39 pm

A surplus and oil and gas prices falling like a rock. Why does reality hate Romney so?

BigSkullF*ckingDog May 8, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I will be expecting my refund check any day now.

~taps foot impatiently

MrFizzy May 8, 2012 at 3:40 pm

That would cover Mittens' Wonder Bread bill for the month.

anniegetyerfun May 8, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Just think of what that $58 billion could have done in the hands of jerb creators! Give it all to the rich!

MissTaken May 8, 2012 at 3:41 pm

budget surplus of $58 billion

Sounds like the perfect time for a war and $100 billion in tax cuts.

KotBR May 8, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Only $100B? Why do you hate success and America. And also, the troops?

valthemus May 8, 2012 at 3:41 pm

This can't be right. Someone forgot to carry the 2.

weejee May 8, 2012 at 3:41 pm

America is just discovering that Barry is in the black? Kidda thought some had sussed that out some time back. Those with the white pointy hats, TruckNutz, and all. Once again, I haz a confused.

Chill-A-Sketch May 8, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Just imagine all the jerbs Exxon would've created with $58B.

nounverb911 May 8, 2012 at 3:43 pm

In China?

Chill-A-Sketch May 8, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Lawnmowers and maids, for the executive's mansions.

nounverb911 May 8, 2012 at 3:46 pm

So jobs for illegals then?

edgydrifter May 8, 2012 at 3:42 pm

This proves Obama is a complete and utter failure. Somehow.

actor212 May 8, 2012 at 3:49 pm

He's been unsuccessful in stabilizing the economy!

tessiee May 8, 2012 at 4:10 pm

"Somehow."

Oh, right. The skin, the skin.

imissopus May 8, 2012 at 4:15 pm

And morally weak.

elviouslyqueer May 8, 2012 at 3:43 pm

How much of this surplus is Mitt going to take credit for?

nounverb911 May 8, 2012 at 3:46 pm

All of it, Katie.

Major Thom May 8, 2012 at 4:50 pm

What a setup.

metamarcisf May 8, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Why do I feel guilty that my federal tax refund of $1,681 came in the mail today? Only one thing to do: drinks are on me this afternoon at the Adult Bookstore Bar & Grill.

Negropolis May 9, 2012 at 12:31 am

Adult Bookstore Bar and Grill: Because nothing goes better with books than breasts and brats.

FlownOver May 8, 2012 at 3:43 pm

OK, so where's my goddamn pony then?

Boojum May 8, 2012 at 11:57 pm

Fuck the pony, I want my unicorn!

Negropolis May 9, 2012 at 12:32 am

The Pony Express was a dangerous ride.

SayItWithWookies May 8, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Now we can have that war with Iran that Santa Claus promised us back in 2007.

Sir_Fartz_Alot May 8, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Oooooooh! sounds expensive.

tihond May 8, 2012 at 3:44 pm

BREITBART WARNED US ABOUT THIS!

mormos May 8, 2012 at 3:44 pm

suck it Republicans! (you're not allowed to enjoy sucking it though)

nounverb911 May 8, 2012 at 3:47 pm

It's the only thing they're good at.

SorosBot May 8, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Yeah, but that Obama hasn't even started any decade-long wars yet; that's what makes a real good President!

MissTaken May 8, 2012 at 3:53 pm

And W started two of them, that's why he's the real goodest President evah!

SorosBot May 8, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Exactly; between that and the tax cuts creating his huge deficits, allowing the 9/11 attacks to happen, and the shredding of our Constitution, he was truly the bestest President this country could have.

tessiee May 8, 2012 at 4:12 pm

And, you know, Cheney.

anniegetyerfun May 8, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Nice alt text. I'll have you know that that is probably double what is currently contained in my bank account.

Callyson May 8, 2012 at 3:48 pm

This is just more evidence that we need someone with experience in the private sector to go to the White House and clean up the government's budget mess…

Wait, what? A surplus? Um, er…

…but of course! It's the Tea Party that did it!

el_donaldo May 8, 2012 at 3:50 pm

We feel like we might remember something in the far distant past, through space and time, when a country might have had a surplus, and one man wanted to save that money in case we needed it, and the other man wanted to blow it on coke and hookers …

What is this? A slacker version of Paul Harvey's "The Rest of the Story"?

"And those men were Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul."

{I'm seriously old.}

Mumbly_Joe May 8, 2012 at 3:51 pm

The Bush tax cuts finally kicked in.

tessiee May 8, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Win.
Of the century.

Negropolis May 9, 2012 at 12:33 am

WIN

MissTaken May 8, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Tonight I'm going to eat the name brand Hobo Beans™ to celebrate!

SorosBot May 8, 2012 at 4:01 pm

I'm cooking up some of the fancy Ramen noodles right now!

AlterNewt May 8, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Name brand Hobo Beans™

Elitist .

HateMachine May 8, 2012 at 3:51 pm

If Mitt Romney had been president starting in 2008, we would have been running a 200 trillion dollar annual surplus, because of tax cuts.

Buckminster May 8, 2012 at 4:07 pm

And monkeys would be flying out of my butt on a twice-a-day schedule.

GuyClinch May 8, 2012 at 3:52 pm

GOP Nonplussed by Surplus, Demand Tax Cuts, Impeachment of Obama, a headline will say

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 8, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Finally, we have some extra money to start another war!

JustPixelz May 8, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Socialism may turn the occasional profit, but the real money is in communism — Chinese style. Those guys really now how to make stuff we want to buy regardless of the feudal working conditions.

Baconzgood May 8, 2012 at 3:58 pm

NEEDZ MOAR LEAD PAINT ON HAPPY MEAL TOYZ!!!!

tessiee May 8, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Those guys really now how to make stuff that is all anybody can afford.
fxt

Negropolis May 9, 2012 at 12:38 am

Melamine libel!

Fare la Volpe May 8, 2012 at 3:53 pm

I want to have sex with this news story.

el_donaldo May 8, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Or do the Scrooge McDuck dive in it.

SoBeach May 8, 2012 at 3:54 pm

I for one would welcome an economic repeat of Clinton's 2nd term.

chascates May 8, 2012 at 3:56 pm

WE ARE GREECE!! CUT IT OR SHUT IT!!

Wait, did you say a 58 billion dollar surplus?
INVADE SYRIA!!11

HateMachine May 8, 2012 at 4:01 pm

58 bill isn't going to cut it for that one, we'll have to settle for Petit Syria.

chascates May 8, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Better dead than red.

Sharkey May 8, 2012 at 3:57 pm

NOW can we have jetpacks?

tessiee May 8, 2012 at 4:15 pm

a shark with a jetpack is a terrifying, yet awesome thing.

tessiee May 8, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Wait; you're not going to use yours to jump the *other* sharks, are you?

Sharkey May 8, 2012 at 4:26 pm

No – I'm afraid the universe might collapse into itself.

Aridzona May 8, 2012 at 4:01 pm

We must be secretly borrowing $$$ from Kenya.

Boojum May 9, 2012 at 12:00 am

We made it through Nigerian email scams.

fartknocker May 8, 2012 at 4:04 pm

I can here Senator McWalnuts and the Kalostomy Bag Libermann holding a press conference demanding the $58 billion be given to DOD. Because we need a strong military. For freedumbs.

GOPCrusher May 8, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Well, because you know if they don't get it Speaker Drunky McNicotinestain and Senator Yertle The Turtle will hold a press conference on how that surplus would just be spent on the poors.

James Michael Curley May 8, 2012 at 4:05 pm

And of course Huff Poo conflates Deficit with Debt. There is no $15.7 Trillion Deficit, though many will read it that way. There is a $15.7 Trillion Debt and only about $3.8 Trillion of that accrued under Obama's term. In the last 39 months the Debt has risen less per year than in the eight years of Bush. And it must be remembered that Bush was handed a $3.4 Trillion Debt and a $0 Deficit. Then he ran up the Deficit and increased the Debt with $2.6 Trillion which the Republican Congress passed to fund the Iraq Invasion and specified that it did not have to be monetarily accounted in the budget until fiscal year 2009 – after Bush left office. Obama took the moral high ground and accepted it as on the books less than 10 days after he took office. Many Democrats in Congress wanted to keep it under the carpet.

keinsignal May 8, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Yes, this, I don't know why the Democrats aren't shouting themselves hoarse about the fact we ran an entire fucking war off the books for seven years whenever the debt numbers are brought up.

SoBeach May 8, 2012 at 4:38 pm

I think it's because the people who can be talked to already know. The propagandists and their angry, ill-informed audience CAN'T be talked to, so why bother trying?

James Michael Curley May 9, 2012 at 5:59 am

Even your succinct version is too long for a bumper sticker.

HELisforHEL May 8, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Siiigh. Our usual problem–candidates that actually will take the high ground (see Kerry, John and Gore, Al). I just pray Hopey pulls out the Chicago-style political strategy book and buries Mittens and his minions. Because despite what Americans say in surveys, they loves them some negative campaigning. We cannot let that Roboclown win.

James Michael Curley May 9, 2012 at 6:04 am

“If he pulls out a Mittens, you pull out the brass knuckles.If he puts one of yours in the hospital, you put one of his in the Cayman Islands.”

HistoriCat May 9, 2012 at 10:47 am

If puts one of yours in Switzerland, you put one of his in Guantanamo.

James Michael Curley May 9, 2012 at 6:09 am

He didn’t create it. He was faced with the laws passed by the Republican Congress that it would go on the books and he had to chose to man up and face it or try to continue the Bush Swindle for more years.

Buckminster May 8, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Let's see how the GOP spins this in 3-2-1….

rickmaci May 8, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Faux Noise Headline:

Obama Refuses to Compromise with Republicans, Surplus Will Only Be $58 billion.

elviouslyqueer May 8, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Oh please. Like they'd acknowledge it. Like, at all.

rickmaci May 8, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Statement from Michele Bachmann:

"Obama likes to THINK that we are in to the black, but WE won't let him white wash the debt."

keinsignal May 8, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Hey, maybe now the Ron Paul OMG IMMINENT COLLAPSE OF EVERYTHING wing will shut up for five minutes… Nah, probably not.

Buckminster May 8, 2012 at 4:24 pm

No, friend, they will continue to flap their senile gums.

not that Dewey May 8, 2012 at 4:17 pm

"Surpluses don't matter"

-Bizarro Dick Cheney

tihond May 8, 2012 at 4:35 pm

You know what they say "Once you go 'in the black' you go back as soon you elect a Republican President."

tihond May 8, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Santorum prefers to think of this as "In the Blah."

Eve8Apples May 8, 2012 at 4:39 pm

The GSA will celebrate by booking a Hangover themed training seminar in Vegas.

GOPCrusher May 8, 2012 at 5:00 pm

How many Republiklans do you think will stand on the House floor and demand that the surplus only be used to pay down the deficit?

Sir_Fartz_Alot May 8, 2012 at 5:43 pm

all of them, Katie, as long as its their campaign deficits

DahBoner May 8, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Elect Mitt Romney and he'll get rid of this nasty little surplus quicker than a drunk sailor with $100 in his pocket in a $20 Whore House.

Come here a minute May 8, 2012 at 5:30 pm

You may also know of the priciple of "paying your debts" in which we don't need to really do anything about the "DEBT!!!1!1!!!" because we are making our payments (hence the outrageously low interest rate), so the DEBT will vanish if we keep the deficit at or near zero (in other words, as long as we have a Democrat in the White House).

Sir_Fartz_Alot May 8, 2012 at 5:38 pm

mitten's new attack- the surplus isn't big enough

BZ1 May 8, 2012 at 7:02 pm

The surplus is still a drop in the ocean of debt

Negropolis May 9, 2012 at 12:42 am

…says a Republican trying to find a way to spin this as negative news.

Veritas78 May 8, 2012 at 9:33 pm

I hear the Lincoln bedroom still lacks a round leopard-skin waterbed with a ceiling mirror.

Seriously, Obama should do this as part of his legacy. Clinton had his chance and now lives with the regret every day.

ttommyunger May 8, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Surplus libel.

Negropolis May 9, 2012 at 12:18 am

You guys remember when Obama decided to put our wars back on the bill so we couldn't keep pretending that multi-billion dollars wars are free, and how that was a huge part of the debt? I know you guys do, but they don't.

misanthrope May 9, 2012 at 12:33 am

Is money still a thing? Don't think about it, just charge it to the GAME.

mcrummett May 9, 2012 at 3:55 am

Just shows that taxes _are_ too high!

niblick77 May 9, 2012 at 8:09 am

Somewhere in middle America a Repug weeps!

Joey_Blau May 9, 2012 at 10:02 am

poor Al Gore… if only.. if only he had fought back against the lies.. Love Canal.. the Internet… Alpha Male…

he was too stiff and too, too .. ernest to win.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: