This is your bank account, slob.President Taxes has dealt a new blow to capitalism and job creation and puppies and rainbows, and that is by running a surplus for the first time since the recession ‘sploded in 2008. April saw a positive $58 billion in the old ledger column of however balance sheets work, due to increased revenues (maybe because more people have jobs?) and also cuts in stuff. And so it shouldn’t be more than 10 minutes or so — 20 at the outside — before Rich Lowry starts screaming about how he needs tax cuts, since people know better than the government how to spend their money (blowout in the As Seen On TV aisle, Bump-Its for everyone!) and also because the government has more than it needs. (The government does not actually have more than it needs, because — we’re not sure if people are aware of this — we have a thing called “a debt,” all $15 trillion of which Obama invented, in his time machine.)

The U.S. government recorded a budget surplus of $58 billion in April, the Congressional Budget Office estimated on Monday, breaking a streak of deficits that began in 2008.

The surplus — the first of Barack Obama’s presidency — was the result of both increased tax collection and lower government spending. Before April, the government had not run a surplus since September 2008, the month that the financial crisis struck the U.S. economy. […]

The improved budget picture will not put an end to election-year sparring about the deficit, however. The U.S. is running a debt of $15.7 trillion, a number often pointed out by Obama’s Republican critics, including White House hopeful Mitt Romney.

We feel like we might remember something in the far distant past, through space and time, when a country might have had a surplus, and one man wanted to save that money in case we needed it, and the other man wanted to blow it on coke and hookers, and then everybody laughed at the first man because he wore earth tones and now we are all fucked. [MarketWatch, via HuffPo]

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