It's contagious!

The weather outlook for South Carolina politics is “veritable shitstorm” for the next month or so owing to the hilarious-tragic inability of either major party to follow state election commission filing rules for candidates, which led the South Carolina Supreme Court last week to issue a monstrous “F” in reading comprehension to 180 candidates who failed to submit hard copies of ethics disclosure forms on time and now cannot appear on the June primary ballot. Legislators from the state Senate Judiciary Committee and party leaders are currently working on different ways to address the situation, but Joe ‘You Lie’ Wilson’s wife, Roxanne, has also helpfully stepped in to make the usual Wilson family contribution to any weighty political moment: SCREAMS. UPDATE NOW WITH VIDEO BELOW!

Oh look, she is angry with beloved racist jokester Jake “White House got a raghead innit” Knotts.

From the AP:

The wife of U.S. Rep. Joe Wilson rushed up to Sen. Jake Knotts when the [Senate Judiciary Committee] meeting ended Tuesday, criticizing him. Pointing her finger, she said he was wrong to object to a measure extending when candidates could file paperwork.

Roxanne Wilson’s sister was among nearly 200 candidates tossed off ballots following last week’s state Supreme Court ruling.

Knotts responded that she was wrong to act that way in public as a congressman’s wife. When security attempted to calm her down, she pushed the guard out of the way and rushed into Knotts’ office.


When they emerged, she kissed Knotts on the cheek, saying they’d made peace.

Meh, Roxanne Wilson, MEH.

**UPDATE** Wonkette commenter “actor212” is also screaming, at your editor, for neglecting to include this hottt video of the screamy fight. Get out yer popcorn and whippits!

[AP/Palmetto Public Record]

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  • I bet the make up sex was…cringeworthy

    • Barb

      Oh I bet it was a "Gold Medal" performance. (flour and lots of it) Roll around, my love. That wet spot ain't gonna pop up on its own.

      • Kinda like watching two limpets battle for turf on a pier.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      "Who's your deadbeat daddy?"

      • Y'know, Roxie is his second wife, and politicians usually go all "trophy wife" so one can only imagine what the first one looked like.

        She was a trophy, all right. She's probably hanging on some big game hunter's wall.

        • Negropolis

          Wait, that's a second wife?! God love 'im; Addison is doing the Lord's work, bless his heart.

  • chicken_thief

    Is that fucking Sam Kinnison's sister?! Ahhhg, ahHHHHGGG, AHHHGGGGG!!!!

  • Barb

    I'm surprised she faced him. She looks like she has a lot of experience just shouting orders into drive-thru windows 12 times a day.

    • That gal does look like she can pack some food away, yea.

    • valgal2342

      I can so clearly see her doing that!
      It gives me the sadz that such a beautiful part of the country is inhabited by such stupid, stupid people.

  • "MORE PIE !!"

  • sharethegrief

    It sounds like Roxanne turned on the red light.

    • Negropolis

      Turn it off! Turn it off! For the love of everything good and holy TURN IT OFF!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    I'm guessing Joe's still the bigger fucktard.

  • Fairtackle

    "nearly 200 candidates tossed off "

    he he

  • elviouslyqueer
    • LionHeartSoyDog

      Linkied to learn wtf gutta-percha.
      Also learned that to speak favorably of Abolition was an invitation to near-fatal beating on the u.s. Senate floor. And that said beating went un-prosecuted.
      Many thanks for a refreshing history lesson.
      (too many people are completely unaware).

    • Cheney totally would have done this while uttering: "Fuck off," at the same time!

    • Sir_Fartz_Alot

      wish i could see that on cspan

  • She should have instead yelled at her sister "You FILE on TIME!!", but I guess misdirected anger is easier.

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    "Roxanne Wilson’s sister was among nearly 200 candidates tossed off ballots following last week’s state Supreme Court ruling."

    Those babes from Heart have really let themselves go.

    • Anne & Nancy libel.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Anne's as big as a house (and has been for long time), but Nancy's doing fine for an old chick.

      • Anne is full figured, but maybe that helps her belt out tunes at her advanced years. Few opera divas are petite.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Well, she had a great set of pipes when she was a skinny 19-year-old, too.

          • flamingpdog

            Ann was starving herself in the 70s and early 80s after having weight problems as a child. I'd rather have a fat Karen Carpenter if it would have kept her around all these years like it has Annie.

    • sullivanst

      Either that, or Carnie put the weight back on.

  • el_donaldo

    South Carolina law explicitly stipulates that a vigorous handjob may substitute for a hard-copy of the ethics report when qualifying for the state ballot.

  • I think a production of Taming of the Shrew starring Roxanne Barr and Don Knotts sounds like it'd be hilarious!

  • ElPinche

    I don't know. The Tourette's family sounds kind of fun.

    • Baconzgood

      Mom? Dad?

      • ElPinche

        I know, right .close your eyes and its like….home.

    • elviouslyqueer

      ASSFUCK TATOR TOTS = Best Band Name EVER.

    • Thurman Munster IV

      Rim job. Rim. Job. Best Curb ever

  • Ruins any preconceived notion that fat people are jolly.

    • el_donaldo

      cf. Chris Christie

  • Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, Kirstennnnnnnnnnnnnn!

    How did you miss the raw video of the confrontation?

    • elviouslyqueer

      Oh, that is keeping it real classy. In a Foghorn Leghorn-jello-wrestling-a- wigless-Mae West kinda way.

    • KBoydJohnson

      Fixed, m' darlin'.

      • *batting eyelashes*

        • HistoriCat

          Get a room!

  • chascates

    South Carolina pols and their constituents should go back to carrying canes to settle arguments with.

    • GOPCrusher

      Or dueling pistols.

  • edgydrifter

    She kicked down the door to Knott's office like there was bucket of KFC gravy waiting on the other side.

  • Knotts responded that she was wrong to act that way in public as a congressman’s wife.

    I somehow suspect he is not consistent about decorum regarding her husband's tantrum during the President's speech?

  • Baconzgood

    Sounds like ALL the women I ever dated (with the exception of the current lil' lady)….CRAZY FUCKIN BITCH! The only difference is that she didn't hit him in the head with a bottle of Smirnoff.

    • *snapping fingers*

      So THAT'S where she learned that from….

    • See, baconz????

      That's why you buy Popov.

      1) Cheaper.

      2) Plastic bottle.

      • sullivanst

        Popov? Pop off! Sobieski's where it's at.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    The weather outlook for South Carolina politics is “veritable shitstorm” for the next month or so owing to the hilarious-tragic inability of either major party to follow state election commission filing rules for candidates,

    SC really needs to ask itself, "Is our children learning?"

  • Callyson

    When they emerged, she kissed Knotts on the cheek, saying they’d made peace.

    Santorum is used in facials now?

  • CrunchyKnee

    Needz moar TruckNutz and ham biscuits!

  • Boojum

    Now I feel sorry for Joe Wilson.

    • YOU LIE!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Eh, you get what you deserve, sometimes.

  • anniegetyerfun

    It's not a real outburst unless you are leaning back in your chair, red-faced and ridiculous, in an otherwise rather quiet chamber (aside from the speaker's gentle timber, of course).

  • MissTaken

    Imagine Thanksgiving at the Wilson home.

    "YOU LIE!"

    • SorosBot

      It sounds like that time I spent Christmas at the cousin's with the seven-year-old daughter from hell.

      • MissTaken

        I'm sure the 7 yo demon could teach the Wilson's about maturity and manners.

    • GOPCrusher

      Gravy container ship.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Or worse…having sex!

      J – Was that ok?
      R – It was good…nice
      J – Really?
      R – Really
      J – So, you came?
      R – :::crickets::: yeah
      J – YOU LIE!

  • SorosBot

    Maybe they can follow the lead of the Taiwanese parliament and get into all-out brawls on the Senate floor.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Tickets! Get yor RED HOT tickets heeya!

  • DaRooster

    What does Sheriff Andy have to say?

  • sbj1964

    She has Asshole Terests syndrome much like many Republicans.DNA sucks!

  • hagajim

    “veritable shitstorm” Isn't that South Carolina pretty much every day, what with all the shitheads they have running things down there.

  • sullivanst

    I guess they remembered why they loved each other in the first place: shared hatred of black people, especially the one in the White House.

  • Schmannnity

    I'd yell shit at the President too if I were married to that dogface.

  • Guppy

    Once again, those damned regulations are costing our country its jerbs!

  • Here in Kardashia, the nation formerly known as the USA, bad behavior is always rewarded and everyone has a big butt.

    • SorosBot

      Well hey, I for one like big butts, and I cannot lie;
      You other brothers can't deny
      That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
      And a round thing in your face
      You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
      'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed

      • ElPinche

        Damn! I'm too slow.

  • OneYieldRegular

    I blame Barbara Bush's war on literacy.

    • GOPCrusher

      I blame Nancy Reagan's War on Drugs.

  • Fare la Volpe

    Eating or farting?

  • __kth__

    I would have expected the rising TEA party star to have a hawter wife. She should definitely keep an eye out for process servers if she has to go to the hospital.

    • That's why he's so angry all the time. He expected that, too.

  • Aridzona

    Poor Joe is probably driven to splitting the cost of hookers with that Vitters guy from Loosyanna. At least he can pay them to keep their mouths occupied with something other than screaming.

  • mavenmaven

    Roxanne… told you once I wont tell you again, its a bad way…

  • not that Dewey
    • fuflans

      i'm going to click on that because it pleases me.

    • user-of-owls

      You don't have to put on that red mu-mu tonight.

      • not that Dewey

        Look in the couch for money
        I don't care if it's beige or if it's white

        • user-of-owls

          I don't care if it's beige gay or if it's white

  • fitley

    The Wilsons are a WHITE TRASH POWER COUPLE

    • timbo71351

      Ding, ding, ding! When you get in public screaming matches on the reg, well, you may have just stepped off the set of Jerry Springer.

  • MissTaken

    Seriously, Roxanne, PLEASE do not turn on the red light. Those days are long over.

  • Buzz Feedback

    Cock fight.

  • Generation[redacted]

    HUGE THIGH!!!!

  • Beowoof

    Charming, I am sure Joe is lucky to have such a sweet catch. After all he could have wound up with a Michelle Bachman, Dana Losch, or Sarah Palin type and be ready to jump from the top of the Washington Monument.

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Hey, if you'd spent a couple of decades married to Joe Wilson and drilling him in the ass with a strapon while wearing a Strom Thurmond mask and reciting snippets from Thurmond's record breaking 1957 filibuster against the Civil Rights act you'd be all angry and shouty too.

    • not that Dewey

      Just reading your description of it makes me angry and shouty.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    It may be significant that what they all failed to file was the ethics disclosure form.

    Probably had some "under penalty of perjury" clause, which got 200 of these sleazeballs to realize, "Holy shit, I can't sign this!"

    (The rest of 'em just thought, "Eh, fuck, I'll sign it anyway.")

  • 12X34X

    This is what I call Divine Intervention. They were made for each other, weren't they?

  • rocktonsam

    you guys are mean you guys, shes big boned.

    not sure whats up with the fat face though…

  • BZ1

    Who's self-serving again?? pot meets kettle

  • carolinaswamp

    Where is the gratitude? South Carolina works harder than any other state to provide Wonkette with prime material, week after week, and we get no thanks at all. This fine example from the halls of the Gressette Building should put us in the Wonkette Hall of Fame, forever.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I wonder if FOX News will play the video of her pushing the security guard over and over…, wait, someone tell them she is an Occupy Protester. They'll lead every show with it then.

  • fuflans

    man damn everyone is fat.

  • ttommyunger

    My fervent hope is that there be no issue from that fetid union.

  • owhatever

    This anti-gummint teabagger is trying to get her sister in order to have as many fambly members as possible on the gummint payroll.

  • Negropolis

    "Making peace"? Is that what the kids are calling it, these days?

    Really, though, can't you imagine this woman screaming at the poor Piggly-Wiggly cashier like this for no redeeming her expired coupon for a pallet of Cheetos?

    Trashy-assed woman is trashy-assed.

  • Dildeaux

    Roxanne wears number 99 and lines up at defensive tackle for the SC Gamecocks.
    She loves long walks alone, randomly flipping off passing vehicles, clothes shopping at flea markets and sausage buscuits with gravy. Indeed!

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