REPUBLICANS IN THE NEWS  4:35 pm May 8, 2012

Joe ‘You Lie’ Wilson’s Wife Also Has Talent for Screaming Outbursts

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

It's contagious!

The weather outlook for South Carolina politics is “veritable shitstorm” for the next month or so owing to the hilarious-tragic inability of either major party to follow state election commission filing rules for candidates, which led the South Carolina Supreme Court last week to issue a monstrous “F” in reading comprehension to 180 candidates who failed to submit hard copies of ethics disclosure forms on time and now cannot appear on the June primary ballot. Legislators from the state Senate Judiciary Committee and party leaders are currently working on different ways to address the situation, but Joe ‘You Lie’ Wilson’s wife, Roxanne, has also helpfully stepped in to make the usual Wilson family contribution to any weighty political moment: SCREAMS. UPDATE NOW WITH VIDEO BELOW!

Oh look, she is angry with beloved racist jokester Jake “White House got a raghead innit” Knotts.

From the AP:

The wife of U.S. Rep. Joe Wilson rushed up to Sen. Jake Knotts when the [Senate Judiciary Committee] meeting ended Tuesday, criticizing him. Pointing her finger, she said he was wrong to object to a measure extending when candidates could file paperwork.

Roxanne Wilson’s sister was among nearly 200 candidates tossed off ballots following last week’s state Supreme Court ruling.

Knotts responded that she was wrong to act that way in public as a congressman’s wife. When security attempted to calm her down, she pushed the guard out of the way and rushed into Knotts’ office.

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.

When they emerged, she kissed Knotts on the cheek, saying they’d made peace.

Meh, Roxanne Wilson, MEH.

**UPDATE** Wonkette commenter “actor212″ is also screaming, at your editor, for neglecting to include this hottt video of the screamy fight. Get out yer popcorn and whippits!

[AP/Palmetto Public Record]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 111 comments }

actor212 May 8, 2012 at 4:39 pm

I bet the make up sex was…cringeworthy

Barb May 8, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Oh I bet it was a "Gold Medal" performance. (flour and lots of it) Roll around, my love. That wet spot ain't gonna pop up on its own.

actor212 May 8, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Kinda like watching two limpets battle for turf on a pier.

Mittens Howell, III May 8, 2012 at 4:45 pm

"Who's your deadbeat daddy?"

actor212 May 8, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Y'know, Roxie is his second wife, and politicians usually go all "trophy wife" so one can only imagine what the first one looked like.

She was a trophy, all right. She's probably hanging on some big game hunter's wall.

Negropolis May 8, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Wait, that's a second wife?! God love 'im; Addison is doing the Lord's work, bless his heart.

chicken_thief May 8, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Is that fucking Sam Kinnison's sister?! Ahhhg, ahHHHHGGG, AHHHGGGGG!!!!

Barb May 8, 2012 at 4:40 pm

I'm surprised she faced him. She looks like she has a lot of experience just shouting orders into drive-thru windows 12 times a day.

actor212 May 8, 2012 at 4:43 pm

That gal does look like she can pack some food away, yea.

valgal2342 May 8, 2012 at 8:17 pm

I can so clearly see her doing that!
It gives me the sadz that such a beautiful part of the country is inhabited by such stupid, stupid people.

smokefilledroommate May 8, 2012 at 4:42 pm

"MORE PIE !!"

sharethegrief May 8, 2012 at 4:42 pm

It sounds like Roxanne turned on the red light.

Negropolis May 8, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Turn it off! Turn it off! For the love of everything good and holy TURN IT OFF!

Mittens Howell, III May 8, 2012 at 4:44 pm

I'm guessing Joe's still the bigger fucktard.

Fairtackle May 8, 2012 at 4:44 pm

"nearly 200 candidates tossed off "

he he

starfanglednut May 8, 2012 at 4:51 pm

It really boggles the mind.

elviouslyqueer May 8, 2012 at 4:44 pm
LionHeartSoyDog May 8, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Linkied to learn wtf gutta-percha.
Also learned that to speak favorably of Abolition was an invitation to near-fatal beating on the u.s. Senate floor. And that said beating went un-prosecuted.
Many thanks for a refreshing history lesson.
(too many people are completely unaware).

DemmeFatale May 8, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Cheney totally would have done this while uttering: "Fuck off," at the same time!

Sir_Fartz_Alot May 8, 2012 at 10:03 pm

wish i could see that on cspan

smokefilledroommate May 8, 2012 at 4:45 pm

She should have instead yelled at her sister "You FILE on TIME!!", but I guess misdirected anger is easier.
Dumbass.

DonnyKerabotsos May 8, 2012 at 4:45 pm

"Roxanne Wilson’s sister was among nearly 200 candidates tossed off ballots following last week’s state Supreme Court ruling."

Those babes from Heart have really let themselves go.

weejee May 8, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Anne & Nancy libel.

Lascauxcaveman May 8, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Anne's as big as a house (and has been for long time), but Nancy's doing fine for an old chick.

weejee May 8, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Anne is full figured, but maybe that helps her belt out tunes at her advanced years. Few opera divas are petite.

Lascauxcaveman May 8, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Well, she had a great set of pipes when she was a skinny 19-year-old, too.

flamingpdog May 8, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Ann was starving herself in the 70s and early 80s after having weight problems as a child. I'd rather have a fat Karen Carpenter if it would have kept her around all these years like it has Annie.

sullivanst May 8, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Either that, or Carnie put the weight back on.

el_donaldo May 8, 2012 at 4:46 pm

South Carolina law explicitly stipulates that a vigorous handjob may substitute for a hard-copy of the ethics report when qualifying for the state ballot.

Mumbletypeg May 8, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I think a production of Taming of the Shrew starring Roxanne Barr and Don Knotts sounds like it'd be hilarious!

ElPinche May 8, 2012 at 4:49 pm

I don't know. The Tourette's family sounds kind of fun.
Joe: "THIS FUCKIN CHICKEN IS TOO BLAND, IT NEEDS SOME SALT!! ASSFUCK TATOR TOTS!! "
Roxanne: "FUCK SALT!!!!!! YOU MAKE FEEL LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT!! "

Baconzgood May 8, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Mom? Dad?

ElPinche May 8, 2012 at 5:09 pm

I know, right .close your eyes and its like….home.

elviouslyqueer May 8, 2012 at 5:04 pm

ASSFUCK TATOR TOTS = Best Band Name EVER.

Thurman Munster IV May 8, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Rim job. Rim. Job. Best Curb ever

ManchuCandidate May 8, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Ruins any preconceived notion that fat people are jolly.

el_donaldo May 8, 2012 at 4:57 pm

cf. Chris Christie

actor212 May 8, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, Kirstennnnnnnnnnnnnn!

How did you miss the raw video of the confrontation?

elviouslyqueer May 8, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Oh, that is keeping it real classy. In a Foghorn Leghorn-jello-wrestling-a- wigless-Mae West kinda way.

KBoydJohnson May 8, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Fixed, m' darlin'.

actor212 May 9, 2012 at 10:33 am

*batting eyelashes*

HistoriCat May 9, 2012 at 11:06 am

Get a room!

chascates May 8, 2012 at 4:50 pm

South Carolina pols and their constituents should go back to carrying canes to settle arguments with.

GOPCrusher May 8, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Or dueling pistols.

edgydrifter May 8, 2012 at 4:51 pm

She kicked down the door to Knott's office like there was bucket of KFC gravy waiting on the other side.

glamourdammerung May 8, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Knotts responded that she was wrong to act that way in public as a congressman’s wife.

I somehow suspect he is not consistent about decorum regarding her husband's tantrum during the President's speech?

Baconzgood May 8, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Sounds like ALL the women I ever dated (with the exception of the current lil' lady)….CRAZY FUCKIN BITCH! The only difference is that she didn't hit him in the head with a bottle of Smirnoff.

actor212 May 8, 2012 at 4:56 pm

*snapping fingers*

So THAT'S where she learned that from….

ifthethunderdontgetya May 8, 2012 at 5:04 pm

See, baconz????

That's why you buy Popov.

1) Cheaper.

2) Plastic bottle.
~

sullivanst May 8, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Popov? Pop off! Sobieski's where it's at.

Lascauxcaveman May 8, 2012 at 4:57 pm

The weather outlook for South Carolina politics is “veritable shitstorm” for the next month or so owing to the hilarious-tragic inability of either major party to follow state election commission filing rules for candidates,

SC really needs to ask itself, "Is our children learning?"

Callyson May 8, 2012 at 4:57 pm

When they emerged, she kissed Knotts on the cheek, saying they’d made peace.

Santorum is used in facials now?

CrunchyKnee May 8, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Needz moar TruckNutz and ham biscuits!

Boojum May 8, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Now I feel sorry for Joe Wilson.

actor212 May 8, 2012 at 4:59 pm

YOU LIE!

Lascauxcaveman May 8, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Eh, you get what you deserve, sometimes.

anniegetyerfun May 8, 2012 at 4:58 pm

It's not a real outburst unless you are leaning back in your chair, red-faced and ridiculous, in an otherwise rather quiet chamber (aside from the speaker's gentle timber, of course).

MissTaken May 8, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Imagine Thanksgiving at the Wilson home.

"PASS THE GRAVY CONTAINER SHIP!!"
"HERE IT IS, DAMMIT!"
"THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU!"
"YOU LIE!"

SorosBot May 8, 2012 at 5:08 pm

It sounds like that time I spent Christmas at the cousin's with the seven-year-old daughter from hell.

MissTaken May 8, 2012 at 5:18 pm

I'm sure the 7 yo demon could teach the Wilson's about maturity and manners.

GOPCrusher May 8, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Gravy container ship.
LOL!

Dashboard Buddha May 8, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Or worse…having sex!

J – Was that ok?
R – It was good…nice
J – Really?
R – Really
J – So, you came?
R – :::crickets::: yeah
J – YOU LIE!

SorosBot May 8, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Maybe they can follow the lead of the Taiwanese parliament and get into all-out brawls on the Senate floor.

Fare la Volpe May 8, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Tickets! Get yor RED HOT tickets heeya!

DaRooster May 8, 2012 at 5:00 pm

What does Sheriff Andy have to say?

sbj1964 May 8, 2012 at 5:01 pm

She has Asshole Terests syndrome much like many Republicans.DNA sucks!

hagajim May 8, 2012 at 5:02 pm

“veritable shitstorm” Isn't that South Carolina pretty much every day, what with all the shitheads they have running things down there.

sullivanst May 8, 2012 at 5:03 pm

I guess they remembered why they loved each other in the first place: shared hatred of black people, especially the one in the White House.

Schmannnity May 8, 2012 at 5:03 pm

I'd yell shit at the President too if I were married to that dogface.

Guppy May 8, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Once again, those damned regulations are costing our country its jerbs!

Jukesgrrl May 8, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Here in Kardashia, the nation formerly known as the USA, bad behavior is always rewarded and everyone has a big butt.

SorosBot May 8, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Well hey, I for one like big butts, and I cannot lie;
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed

ElPinche May 8, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Damn! I'm too slow.

OneYieldRegular May 8, 2012 at 5:05 pm

I blame Barbara Bush's war on literacy.

GOPCrusher May 8, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I blame Nancy Reagan's War on Drugs.

Fare la Volpe May 8, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Eating or farting?

__kth__ May 8, 2012 at 5:12 pm

I would have expected the rising TEA party star to have a hawter wife. She should definitely keep an eye out for process servers if she has to go to the hospital.

Jukesgrrl May 8, 2012 at 5:18 pm

That's why he's so angry all the time. He expected that, too.

Aridzona May 8, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Poor Joe is probably driven to splitting the cost of hookers with that Vitters guy from Loosyanna. At least he can pay them to keep their mouths occupied with something other than screaming.

mavenmaven May 8, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Roxanne… told you once I wont tell you again, its a bad way…

not that Dewey May 8, 2012 at 5:19 pm
fuflans May 8, 2012 at 9:40 pm

i'm going to click on that because it pleases me.

user-of-owls May 8, 2012 at 9:50 pm

You don't have to put on that red mu-mu tonight.

not that Dewey May 8, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Look in the couch for money
I don't care if it's beige or if it's white

user-of-owls May 8, 2012 at 10:48 pm

I don't care if it's beige gay or if it's white

fitley May 8, 2012 at 5:20 pm

The Wilsons are a WHITE TRASH POWER COUPLE

timbo71351 May 8, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Ding, ding, ding! When you get in public screaming matches on the reg, well, you may have just stepped off the set of Jerry Springer.

MissTaken May 8, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Seriously, Roxanne, PLEASE do not turn on the red light. Those days are long over.

Buzz Feedback May 8, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Cock fight.

Generation[redacted] May 8, 2012 at 5:23 pm

HUGE THIGH!!!!

imissopus May 9, 2012 at 2:50 am

Harelip! Harelip!

Beowoof May 8, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Charming, I am sure Joe is lucky to have such a sweet catch. After all he could have wound up with a Michelle Bachman, Dana Losch, or Sarah Palin type and be ready to jump from the top of the Washington Monument.

Wile E. Quixote May 8, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Hey, if you'd spent a couple of decades married to Joe Wilson and drilling him in the ass with a strapon while wearing a Strom Thurmond mask and reciting snippets from Thurmond's record breaking 1957 filibuster against the Civil Rights act you'd be all angry and shouty too.

not that Dewey May 8, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Just reading your description of it makes me angry and shouty.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 8, 2012 at 5:37 pm

It may be significant that what they all failed to file was the ethics disclosure form.

Probably had some "under penalty of perjury" clause, which got 200 of these sleazeballs to realize, "Holy shit, I can't sign this!"

(The rest of 'em just thought, "Eh, fuck, I'll sign it anyway.")

12X34X May 8, 2012 at 6:47 pm

This is what I call Divine Intervention. They were made for each other, weren't they?

rocktonsam May 8, 2012 at 6:50 pm

you guys are mean you guys, shes big boned.

not sure whats up with the fat face though…

BZ1 May 8, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Who's self-serving again?? pot meets kettle

carolinaswamp May 8, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Where is the gratitude? South Carolina works harder than any other state to provide Wonkette with prime material, week after week, and we get no thanks at all. This fine example from the halls of the Gressette Building should put us in the Wonkette Hall of Fame, forever.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 8, 2012 at 7:42 pm

I wonder if FOX News will play the video of her pushing the security guard over and over…, wait, someone tell them she is an Occupy Protester. They'll lead every show with it then.

fuflans May 8, 2012 at 9:41 pm

man damn everyone is fat.

ttommyunger May 8, 2012 at 10:42 pm

My fervent hope is that there be no issue from that fetid union.

owhatever May 8, 2012 at 11:06 pm

This anti-gummint teabagger is trying to get her sister in order to have as many fambly members as possible on the gummint payroll.

Negropolis May 8, 2012 at 11:13 pm

"Making peace"? Is that what the kids are calling it, these days?

Really, though, can't you imagine this woman screaming at the poor Piggly-Wiggly cashier like this for no redeeming her expired coupon for a pallet of Cheetos?

Trashy-assed woman is trashy-assed.

Dildeaux May 9, 2012 at 9:25 am

Roxanne wears number 99 and lines up at defensive tackle for the SC Gamecocks.
She loves long walks alone, randomly flipping off passing vehicles, clothes shopping at flea markets and sausage buscuits with gravy. Indeed!

starfanglednut May 8, 2012 at 4:50 pm

I can't masterbate to that image at all.

Nesnora May 8, 2012 at 5:29 pm

His buttocks— glistening like raw pizza dough as he pounded his… nope.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 8, 2012 at 5:39 pm

… and santorum.

bagofmice May 9, 2012 at 2:54 am

There are clubs for that.

Baconzgood May 8, 2012 at 4:56 pm

You gotta really want it.

Negropolis May 8, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Gah! Things that are seen can not be unseen!

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