but it's a dry treason

When Will The Left Stop Being Hysterical About Obama Being Tried For Treason?

Hey Wonkers, remember this? The horror in Ol’ Walnuts’s eyes as he realized the tidal wave of fucking nuts to which he was in thrall? Good times! But remember also (you should, because you just watched it) how Country First stood up to that lady and actually told her something she did not want to hear? Weird, right? (VERY weird!) Well don’t worry, everything is back to normal and the pander is at its usual 11, and when a lady yesterday told Mitt Romney that President Fidel Castro Obama should be arrested for treason, he just went with it, because he is a went-with-it kind of guy!

Michelle Malkin’s hub for likeminded orcs, “Twitchy,” posted this video (along with everybody else) to make fun of the left’s “hissy fit” on the subject. First up?

When will Markos Moulitsas stop being hysterical? Never, obvs. He is a liberal man, and so has both a vagina and a full complement of oves. He probably wants free birth control and a Pell grant too.

Remember when Bamz called the Ryan Plan “deeply pessimistic” and they all bitched like little bitches for weeks about how he hurt their feelings by being mean and partisan and not agreeing with them? Us too! But let’s relive it again in all its sadface:

Still, Republicans said, did Obama have to attack the men to their faces? “Reagan had the decency to insult his enemies when he was out of town,” grumbled one GOP aide.

Suck it up, Obamatards, Obama will be arrested for treason once Rick Santorum wins Civil War II: Electric Bugaloo, that is just the way it works.


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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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  1. Barb

    There is a better chance that Obama would be tried for treason than for Romney to be tied to reason.

      1. DaRooster

        Necks tweak…

        Seriously, that'll be what happens when someone mentions this.

      2. GOPCrusher

        When are we going to let this go? Seriously, just because someone commits war crimes doesn't mean they should be tried for them.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      Damn, woman. In with the 'firsties' and it's pure, pithy poetry.

      I'm in awe.

      1. Barb

        Thanks! Rebecca gives me the stories in advance, ya know.

        I already know who wins the 2012 Presidential election, thanks to Rebecca.

        1. Lascauxcaveman

          I was starting to think you may actually be Rebecca, but you tend to be funnier.

  2. bumfug

    Don't blame Mitt – nobody had programmed an appropriate response onto his hard drive.

    1. SmutBoffin

      Jesus, worst I.T. job EVER.

      "Fuck, we forgot to install the 'warmth_and_compassion_v2.3.deb' package! There's a campaign stop tomorrow at a school. We're in big trouble!"
      "Eh, just default to 'AWKWARD_ANECDOTE.sh' and nobody will notice."

  3. SorosBot

    And if Obama attacked his enemies when they were out of town, they'd whine that he was being uncivil by not having the decency to do so to their faces. It doesn't matter what Obama, or any Democratic politician, does, they will always be attacked by both the right and the media for being "uncivil".

    1. Mumbly_Joe

      Also, that was barely an "attack", for that matter; honestly the right and media were, by all appearance, calling him "uncivil" for mildly criticizing the Republican position, instead of immedately adopting it wholesale.

    2. tessiee

      "It doesn't matter what Obama, or any Democratic politician, does, they will always be attacked by both the right and the media for being "uncivil"."

      Up to the exact point where the Democrats are polite, at which point the right will attack them for being "weak" (or, if it's something that has to do with social issues instead of money, "morally weak").

    3. yrbmegr

      Democrats are attacked for the sole reason that they are Democrats, except for the black ones.

    1. NYNYNYjr

      We'll smoke them out of their Mormon rabbit holes.

      -Col. Jebediah W. Bush, 1852

  4. BaldarTFlagass

    Obama might be arrested, but I bet he breaks out and heads to Mexico, like Andy Dufresne. No jail can hold him.

  5. SorosBot

    You know, this was almost as bad as the time those mean Democrats attacked the portion of the Paul Ryan budget plan that destroyed Medicare by claiming that it would destroy Medicare.

      1. Preferred Customer

        Give it the opportunity for resurrection, is I think the proper euphemism for "kill."

    1. nounverb911

      “I don’t think right-wing social engineering is any more desirable than left-wing social engineering, I don’t think imposing radical change from the right or the left is a very good way for a free society to operate.”
      –Newtron Gingrinch

    2. anniegetyerfun

      It was seriously the worst thing that liberals have ever done. I found myself perpetually having to apologize to conservative friends, who were quietly sobbing in the bathrooms, hearts truly broken and battered by the vicious rhetoric so often bandied about by liberals.

    3. Designer_Rants

      Politifact shot themselves in the face with Dick Cheney's gun by making their "Lie of the Year" or whatever as Dems saying the ryan budget would destroy medicare as we know it. Those morons forgot that conservatives don't care AT ALL about facts, fact-checking, factyness, factuality… They got letters.

  6. Goonemeritus

    They whip their base into a sub-psychotic rage and now it’s our fault that they are scaring us – FUCK THEM!

    1. GOPCrusher

      Seriously, you have to wonder if Rmoney didn't go back to his hotel room after that campaign stop and said "Fuck, I can't believe I have to pander to these assholes."

  7. Not_So_Much

    Brave Sir Mittens ran away. ♪
    Bravely ran away, away!
    When danger reared its ugly head,
    He bravely turned his tail and fled
    He is packing it in and packing it up ♫
    And sneaking away and buggering up
    And chickening out and pissing off home,
    Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge.. ♪♫

  8. SmutBoffin

    Don't worry, Republican voters! Mitt can always change his mind and indict Obama five years ago for treason and socialism and bein' Kenyan and whatever else you want.

    Also, LOL @ "oves".

  9. BaldarTFlagass

    I don't think "treason" means what these people think it means. They have the same blind spot about words like "constitutionality" and "war crimes" and "torture."

    1. CommieLibunatic

      And I wonder how many of these mouth-breathers know that treason is punishable by death. Not sure which possibility I'm more comfortable with, either…

    2. Biff

      Haha, I just hadda school an old friend about the proper use of "socialist", just this morning.

      1. tessiee

        A few days ago, I was reading a thread somewhere (not here; I usually remember those) whree the usual trolls were going on and on about, "Socialism" and "handouts to lazy bums" and "if we don't bend over even further for the corporations…", blah blah blah. some guy from Sweden posted and said that he LIVED in a socialist country and that wasn't how it worked. Trolls "correcting" him that everybody in his country was miserable, and the economy in his country was failing, unlike ours, and that wasn't REALLY socialism… etc. etc. Being apparently unused to US political discourse, the Swedish guy posted back and said, no, satisfaction was generally pretty high, unemployment was pretty low, their taxes paid for schools and health care, etc. Trolls responded a la, "you're not REALLY happy, you just THINK you're happy", because what could the guy know who only lives there?

        You buy 'em books, and they just chew on the covers.

    3. tessiee

      "I don't think "treason" means what these people think it means."

      It means having brown skin, right?

  10. James Michael Curley

    This was not a 'slip up.' The campaign knew this turkey would ask a question like that. When the 'town hall' assemblage is so small, all were pre-screened by at least a local, loyal functionary. But it is winning the day's news cycle and Romney's silence when she spoke gets interpreted by to many as FREEDUM OF SPEEKS. We will see more of this as the months go by.

    1. Biff

      Are you suggesting that Joe the Dumber was a plant? Because that is exactly what I've been saying for 4 years now.

      1. James Michael Curley

        As Romney goes forward, what has he to lose? Such behavior reaffirms the ‘base’ that he had to pander to to get enough votes in the various primaries and, when doing his Etch-A-Sketch, a wide spectrum of the mid-centrist and right leaning independents will look on such out bursts as mere inconveniences to otherwise professionally staged events. No politician ever lost a vote when some nut case uncontrollably yelled derisively about their opponent. When said politician is silent to the outburst the bottom feeders are reinforced into ‘he’s our man, he will try Obama for treason.’

  11. Lascauxcaveman

    Also, not really surprised that McCain has bigger balls than Mitt. He's got a job, with a lot of years on the clock, and a retirement package that's almost as big as Mitt's (as long as Cindy is willing to put up with him).

    Closer to retirement age, too, so he probably figures, "Eh, WTF."

  12. chicken_thief

    You could see the look of pain on his face as his nuts shrivelled at the thought of him having to specify exactly when he would start the trial of Barry Hussein if that idiotic bitch pressed him on the issue.

  13. Allmighty_Manos

    Remember when the right was pretty cool about the left accusing the Bush Administration of treason? Yeah I don't either.

    1. Dildeaux

      That right. It happened. Not proud of it. Is there similarity? Not much. Wake me when Obama starts an unnecessary war killing thousands.

  14. Doktor StrangeZoom

    So, wait, are you saying that Obama is NOT guilty of treason? Pretty bold of you…

  15. LastGasp

    All this could be solved if we'd just go ahead and prosecute Barry for treason.

    1. GOPCrusher

      The last Democratic President, they impeached. This one, trial for treason. What's next? Blow up the White House? Drag them off the Inauguration Stand, bludgeon them to death, and drag the corpse down Pennsylvania Avenue behind a pickup truck?

  16. KennyFuckingPowers

    And what of those on the Left who thought it was treasonous for Barry to NOT charge Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld with treason.

  17. BaldarTFlagass

    I'm sure Mitt will "move forward" rather than prosecuting the crimes of the Obama administration, just like Obie did for Bush.

  18. MissTaken

    I'm looking forward to a summer of Mittens getting destroyed by his base. It's going to be so fun the first time someone drops the n-word about Obama during a question and Mittens has to respond as if it didn't happen. Fun times!

        1. SorosBot

          "Obama's bigger? Well I know that's the stereotype about black men, and I am am pretty small, but still we can't be sure…"

    1. Karma_Suture

      "I'm sorry, I may have misheard you…did you say 'chigger'?"
      Polite company uses "Chiggroes" thank you.

  19. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    It's a lovely spring and all of the wingnutz are in bloom. I expect them to be in full froth by the second week of July. Hopefully nobody will get shot this summer.

    1. GOPCrusher

      I fully expect a bombing or mass shooting with the first poll that shows Obama up by 5 points or more over Rmoney.

  20. freakishlywrong

    That wingnut there with Walnuts, she should never do anything but throw cats.

  21. Native_of_SL_UT

    We have a highly partisan Congress that calls for an investigation for even unpaid Secret Service blowjobs, yet they can't seem to find something to investigate Obama for? Good luck finding that treason charge cause if it was even remotely possible, Issa would have been on it like a Colombian hooker and a dick.

    1. SorosBot

      Well they know that what the teabaggers really think his treason is, Presidenting While Black, is not an actual impeachable offense.

  22. elviouslyqueer

    So Michelle Malkin is itching for a liberal hissy fit, eh? Just wait until she finds out that her twat is too dried up to shoot out ping pong balls anymore. Then we can talk hissy fits.

    1. freakishlywrong

      SRSLY, EQ, should Malkin ever be even remotely associated with something called "Twitchy"?

    2. Wile E. Quixote

      It's a real pity that 40 odd years ago we didn't have the kind of immigration laws that Michelle Malkin is calling for today. If we did Anchor baby Malkin would be sucking off Chinese sailors in a cheap bar in Subic Bay and pining for the good old days when she could charge American sailors 20 bucks for all three holes, bareback.

  23. Steverino247

    I seem to recall seeing wanted posters with JFK's face on them just before he was shot in Dallas. So, would the Secret Service pull their pants up and check this shit out? Thanks.

  24. Ducksworthy

    The Romneybot is not anatomically correct. Also, what is the role of the lettucelature under the Mormon Constitution?

  25. vodkamuppet

    "Still, Republicans said, did Obama have to attack the men to their faces?"

    Wow. Wow wow wow wow. Wow. Wow.

  26. Billmatic

    Well, signing off on an order to murder an American citizen without due process should be an impeachable offense, but I'm pretty sure he's treasonous to these people for health care or some damn stupid thing.

  27. ttommyunger

    Mitten's troubles are just beginning; just wait 'till Barry hands him his pasty narrow ass in the debates.

    1. tessiee

      Meh, Mittens will put his pasty narrow ass back into his magic underpants, zip up his Mom jeans, and go home and cry big salty tears into his money.

  28. Ducksworthy

    Conservative Treason: Not to go to far back but no use bringing up Ephialtes of Trachis at this late date…
    1. Neville Chamberlain, leader of the Conservative Party, gives Czechoslovakia to Hitler.
    2. Marshal Petain sticks to defending the Maginot Line (1939's star wars) later given control of Vichy France by Hitler.
    Skipping ahead….
    86. Ronald Regan promises Iran weapons if they'll keep hostages until he's elected (released the day he's sworn in)….(skip forward)
    98. Bush ignores "Bin Laden determined to strike in U.S.
    99. Bin Laden family evacuated from U.S.
    100. Bush allows his childhood friend Bin Laden to escape from Tora Bora
    109. W invades Iraq to eliminate Iran's nemesis, Saddam.
    etc. etc.

  29. Biff

    Where did they find that one black female republican, and why is she hiding behind that white-haired man when she asks her stupid fucking question?

  30. Mumbly_Joe

    Two things:

    a) The reason the Constitution specifies the legal requirements for proving treason was specifically that European royalty were fond of using politically-motivated treason charges to eliminate and dispossess political rivals. Ergo, Republicans are, once again, betraying the very principles upon which this nation was founded.

    b) Dear Democrats everywhere: wake the fuck up. Conservatives fucking love to invoke the prospect of politically-motivated prosecutions to eliminate opponents, because they really do think it's just a political tool. Not prosecting actual criminal acts by Republicans doesn't make them any shyer about this stuff, so stop pansying out when real crimes have obviously been committed, assholes.

  31. JustPixelz

    Another example of Repubicans who want to overturn elections by any means necessary.

    Impeach Clinton
    Bush v Gore
    Where's the birth certificate?
    Arrest him

    1. GemlikeFlame

      Much as I hate to interrupt a lynch mob in full swing (heh), I'd like to know just what Barry did that constitutes treason. Aid and comfort to the enemy? Osama missed out if so. Attempt to overthrow the government? I'm pretty sure he hasn't tried to overthrow himself or any of the other branches of the government. Impair the well-being of the state? He doesn't seem to be looting the treasury or converting government property to himself or anyone else.

      Now, we might be able to hang one or two of those on Cheney (bless his blackened soul), but Barry?

  32. rhubarbpie2

    The funniest part of this is when Romney says, Yes, I will respect the constitution. Which country's?

    1. glamourdammerung

      The correct answer is "the constitution two angels gave him in a Marriott that only he can translate by looking at it with a magic stone in while it is inside a hat".

  33. mormos


    George Bush
    Dick Cheney
    Donald Rumsfeld
    George Tenet
    Karl Rove (he didn't do anything but i want to see the fear of God put in him)

  34. owhatever

    What do you expect when you elect a president who is only worth three-fifths of a white person? Says so in the Constitution, it do!

  35. glamourdammerung

    I can see why McCain would be much more sensitive to people bringing up treason than someone that hung out in France instead of collaborating with the North Vietnamese.

  36. anniegetyerfun

    Ever so slightly off-topic, but I never watch SNL except for the occasional political skit, and Kristen Wiig's "crazy Obama lady" made me so happy. (Starts around 1:05)

  37. miss_grundy

    I hope the son of a bitch continues to fire-up the crazy Repub base and that the media shows it every night on the news. Hopefully, Americans who have any brains will see this jerk agreeing with the nut jobs and will realize that we do not need the crazy in the oval office and he will lose to Obama in the fall. I not only want him to lose, but to lose magnificently in November.

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