these are all Italian

In 2008, blight on society Mitt Romney called for the government to “let Detroit go bankrupt” in none other than a New York Times op-ed called “Let Detroit Go Bankrupt,” published a week after the loser he lost to lost to Obama. Romney continued to hold the beliefs ghost-written in that article well into late 2011 or so. What Romney called for — “managed bankruptcy” — did end up happening, in addition to, as you will recall, government bailouts authorized by Presidents Bush and Obama. Romney was fully against bailouts. AND YET! Now Mr. Mitt has announced that he “takes a lot of credit” for the auto industry’s recovering. THIS GUY IS GOOD.

Romney did a cozy little interview with the Ohio news station WEWS-TV on Monday. During the interview, he said basically that now that the auto industry is doing well, you can thank him, Mitt Romney, a two-time failed president (your Wonkette is a soothsayer but you may kill her if this particular sooth turns out to be rubbish). Via the Huffington Post:

I pushed the idea of a managed bankruptcy. And finally, when that was done, and help was given, the companies got back on their feet. So I’ll take a lot of credit for the fact that this industry’s come back.

Haaaaaa so classy. As Huffington Post observes,

According to the federal judge who presided over Chrysler’s bankruptcy in 2009, the company would not have survived without the bailout.

The Obama camp appropriately is not psyched, releasing a statement saying that Romney is a “fool.” Oh, no, unfortunately they just said that Americans won’t be “fooled” into thinking that Romney is a pioneering thinker of things.

Mitt Romney may think he can fool the American people by hiding his belief that we should ‘let Detroit go bankrupt,’ but the American people won’t let him,

says Obama spokesperson Ted Strickland. Well, the guy does know a lot about making companies disappear, and also about how you can always be right about everything, truly everything, just by looking at it in a certain way.

Here’s the full interview.

[WEWS-TV via Huffington Post]

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  • Barb

    Other Romney achievements:

    Goaltender of the 1980 U.S. Olympic "Dream Team."
    Pulled Baby Jessica from the well.
    It was because of him that Anne Frank survived, married and had nine children.
    He was the one who taught "Sully" Sullenberger to fly.
    He saved Private Ryan.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Flip, Flop, Fap.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    He did buy all those Cadillacs . . .

  • chascates

    He has a lot of friends who run industries.

    • I think you misspelled "ruin", Chas

  • Reginald_Perrin

    If you're wearing magic underwear and are a human etch-a-sketch, you're able to take credit for anything your heart desires

  • edgydrifter

    There is no inconsistency here. To Romney, "going bankrupt" obviously means having the government unload a dumptruck of cash on your front lawn. Duh–rich people rules, people.

  • bumfug

    Of course he's going to "take a lot of credit" – nobody's gonna just give it to him.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I killed Osama bin laden. Well … at least I take a lot of credit for it.

  • DaRooster

    Rmoney 2012!!
    Saving the country by filing bankruptcy for 35 years!

  • And I deserve a lot of credit for inventing the iPhone.

    • Generation[redacted]

      I thought your op-ed "Let Apple Go Bankrupt" was spot-on, so kudos.

  • Somehow, Mitt misunderstood Barnum and thinks you can fool all of the people all of the time

  • Generation[redacted]

    In my 2008 op-ed, titled "Let Wonkette Needz Moar Snark" I pushed the idea of making funnies, so I'll take a lot of credit for this post, thank you very much.

  • memzilla

    Hey, l pushed the idea of Bain Capital making metric s***loads of blood money from picking the bones of companies which went into managed bankruptcy. So I’ll take a lot of credit for the fact that Bain Capital's come back, along with a nice fat check with Mitt's signature on it, thenkyew veddymuch.

  • Billmatic

    Well this isn't any dumber than Al Gore saying he invented the internet but something tells me people won't be angry about it 12 years later.

    • Generation[redacted]

      It certainly isn't any dumber than people saying Al Gore said he invented the Internet, but that's a pretty low bar.

    • Snertly

      Sure it wouldn't be any dumber than Al Gore saying he invented the Internet, if Al Gore had first tried to defund DARPA.

      Romney said let the car companies sink or swim and he'll take credit for each one that is still alive.

  • AlterNewt

    He makes sounds with his mouth. Some have postulated that there could be some meaning behind them. Others are not so sure.

  • Steverino247

    Will Winston Smith please report to the Ministry of Truth. Winston Smith, please report to the Ministry of Truth.

  • sullivanst

    your Wonkette is a soothsayer but you may kill her if this particular sooth turns out to be rubbish

    No, death would be too good for you. If we gotta live with Presbot 3.3, so do you!

  • edgydrifter

    I think I deserve a lot of credit for gravity.

    • tessiee

      So, it was YOU!!
      *cues angry, saggy mob with torches and pitchforks*

  • nounverb911

    "Some of my best friends bankrupted auto companies".
    –Mitt Romney

  • Callyson

    Tomorrow's headline: Mitt Romney Will Take a Lot 0f Credit For Inventing the Internet.

    • nounverb911

      Al Gore disputes that claim.

  • Schmannnity

    When is he going to take credit for Obamacare?

    • Nov 7, 2012.

    • Preferred Customer

      He was for it before he was against it.

  • TootsStansbury

    Lying liars tell lies. Someone on here pointed out his lip smacking. He does do that; lt's gross. It's predatory.

  • SoBeach

    Thank you, Mitt Romney. Thank you for saving the American automobile industry with only the power of your words, even though the words you said seem like they meant something different than what you're saying they mean today. Doesn't matter. Thank you.

    Can you say a magic spell that will fix unemployment, or do we have to elect you president first?

  • Eve8Apples

    Mitt Romney was against the auto bailout before he took credit for it.

  • memzilla

    In college, Der Mittens also majored in pissing on your shoes and calling it rain.

  • In the beginning, I created the heaven and earth….

    • nounverb911

      Has Mittens baptized God yet?

      • If he tries, I'll smite his ass

        • sullivanst

          Otherwise, I'll smite his face.

    • tessiee

      Wrong holy book.

  • Honestly, did anyone here actually watch this interview? (My point being, pretty much everyone has already stopped paying attention to him.)

    • freakishlywrong

      Nope. Can't stand the hate-laugh.

    • sullivanst

      Uh oh, that means his strategy's working.

  • Rmoney invented money.

  • SexySmurf

    It was also Mitt's idea to make an Avengers movie.

    Or maybe he was just playing with his action figures.

    • The Fiennes/Thurman one, so therefore, the new one, too.

    • SorosBot

      No, that's fun and so I'm pretty sure forbidden by the Mormon Jesus.

  • MrFizzy

    It's just a good thing for Mittens that there are jobs out there that don't require you to do anything but be born rich. You would think the country would've seen enough of that after enduring 8 years of fucking W, but evidently not.

  • Steverino247

    I took responsibility before I voted for it.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Dear Mitt:

    I'd also like to take partial credit for inventing sliced bread, finding the cure for cancer, and getting Paul Ryan to admit that he and Reince Preibus are gayer than Lindsey Graham's Christmas Tree, but seriously, that ain't gonna happen. At least not anytime soon.

    Fuck off, you fucking liar.


  • Generation[redacted]

    If you read between the lines of that same 2008 op-ed, he pinpoints the exact location of Bin Laden and prescribes the type of Seal Team Six operation that would successfully get him. The fact that he was able to do this without tipping off America's enemies just proves what a leader he is.

  • boobookitteh

    Mitt sure makes it hard to pull off that "don't blame me, I'm from Massachusetts" schtick.

  • freakishlywrong

    "The lies. The lies are just the right height".

  • mavenmaven

    He intended for the car companies to die so that he can save them posthumously.

    • Generation[redacted]

      GM is now a Mormon like Hitler?

  • SorosBot

    Mitt Romney also lead Seal Team Six when they killed bin Laden, was responsible for getting Apollo 13 back to Earth, was one of the soldiers who lifted the flag over Iwo Jima, and personally beat Hitler in hand-to-hand combat.

    • MissTaken

      i heard he also saved the portrait of Washington when the British attacked the White House. He's awesome!

  • SoBeach

    I think we're seeing Karl Rove's new approach.

    In 2004 it was attacking his opponent's strength (with swift boaters).

    Looks like this year the approach will be to take credit for Obama's achievements.

    Might work. You never know.

    • It's true. Never in a million years would I have imagined they'd successfully (and wrongfully) smear a genuine war hero, Cleland notwithstanding.

      In fact, we should probably search recent elections for their beta testing for this year's theme.

      • SoBeach

        They're going to have to come up with SOMETHING for poor Mitt.

        I'm afraid what they'll come up with will make the Cleland-Chambliss election look like a genteel, mild disagreement between old friends.

    • tessiee

      "Might work. You never know."

      Anybody dumb enough to even consider voting for Romney in the first place is dumb enough to fall for anything.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I think he also saved the lobstah fishery while he was governor of Mass.

    • Sir_Fartz_Alot

      rock lobster?

  • That's some amazing CEOing right there. Take credit for things you wanted dead and running like hell when your ideas go to shit.

    Multi million dollar bonuses and supermodel orgies for all!!!

  • He also is responsible, by being the unacceptable alternative, for the nomination of John McCain in 2008.

    This, in turn, makes him responsible for President Barack Obama. So huzzah, RomBot.

    • tessiee

      The Butterflop Effect?

  • johnnymeatworth

    It's his new Freaky Friday campaign strategy–He'll be black by the opening bell of the Republican Convention.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Can I get credit for the success of the Avengers movie? A few years ago I said "I think they should make an Avengers movie." They took my advice and now they're breaking box office records.

    • SexySmurf

      I'm going to take credit for your comment.

      • tessiee

        You may both take credit, provided I get a share of whatever profits the movie makes.

    • Preferred Customer

      "Of course, what I actually said was 'they should make another X-men movie, and not an Avengers movie,' but they listened to me and made a movie, and so I think I deserve a lot of credit for that."

    • Serolf_Divad

      I just saw that movie. Sir, I'd like to shake your hand.

    • mavenmaven

      I lived in Hollywood. Credit is cheap, only royalties count, baby.

  • Biff

    And if you are a rich Mormon Bain-capitalist, Mittens will find your missing teenaged daughter!

    • DahBoner

      There's a thin line between missing and I'm getting the hell out of this crazy shit…

      • Biff

        I did the exact same thing when I was her age, except instead of running away to attend a rave, it was to see Big Brother and the Holding Company at the Avalon Ballroom. And nobody gave a shit if I ever came home or not, because there were 5 other hungry mouths to feed already.

        • tessiee

          "it was to see Big Brother and the Holding Company at the Avalon Ballroom."


          • Biff

            I made it a habit to run away every weekend, and I worked the dock at the venue for free admission. Of course this means that I am now old, but I did get to see all the cool bands.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Chuck Norris wears Mitt Romney pajamas.

  • niblick77

    Who do you think taught GOD so he could design more intelligently?

  • Fairtackle

    Mitt Romney did not invent masturbation but he helped make it what it is today.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    He is the most interesting Republican presidential candidate in the world.

    "I never drink beer, but if I did, I would drink your favorite brand."

  • GeneralLerong

    The hilarious thing is that there are people who will vote for this lying fart.

    Wait, that's not funny at all. Oh well, back to my architectural plans for the toxic waste work camps in Arizona for anyone who brags about voting Republican. ["Really, you don't say? Well congratulations, you've just qualified for an all-expenses-paid trip to your favorite Southwestern state!"]

    • tessiee

      Maybe we should fence off some of the loser states, and have all the codependent idiots who vote Republican *actually live* under Republican rule, and the sane people can finally be rid of them and live in a civilized country.

  • friendlyskies

    Hipster Mittens was into austerity measures before they were cool. (Noting that they were just as wise a financial strategy in 2008 as they are today.) What financial tools is he using to manage his money? Oh, you've probably never heard of them.

    • tessiee

      "What financial tools is he using to manage his money? Oh, you've probably never heard of them."

      Also, he has a girlfriend, but you don't know her; she goes to another school.

  • In keeping with Mitt's announcement, I will simply note that I am responsible for everything good that has happened in Amerikkka since Lee surrendered at Appomattox.

    • Biff

      Ronnie Raygun, izzat you?

    • tessiee

      Unfortunately, about half the country doesn't consider that a good thing.

  • MissTaken

    My hips are getting a helluva workout with all this Etch-A-Sketching.

    • SorosBot

      Your hips? Um, I think you're using the wrong digits; fingers, not toes.

      • MissTaken

        Nope, there isn't a bra around that can handle the jiggle if I shake with my fingers.

  • DahBoner

    The Mormon Mafia: Shame if anything was to happen to your nice auto industry…


    • tessiee

      So, have your wives start your cars in the morning?

  • hagajim

    I can't believe Mitt hasn't stood up and taken credit for defrosting Captain America so the Avengers movie could happen. Or for the invention of the teevee also.

  • a_pink_poodle

    The cojones on this guy! I love it!

  • Of course Mittens' idea of a managed bankruptcy involved private creditors dumping money into the companies to keep them afloat, but because of the credit crisis no private companies would step up (including Bain Capital) so the government had to do it, and it is the idea of the government using taxpayer money to bail out the companies that had the wingnuts all riled up. So Mittens doesn't even seem to understand what it is he is taking credit for. What a douche noodle.

  • proudgrampa

    Well, this is no surprise to me.

    I don't mean to pick on the Mormon thing (again!) but, damn, here it is:: Mormons lie because their cult is based on a lie. Lying is ingrained in everything they say or do. Golden tablets? Jesus lived in America? Magic underwear? Mitt truly believes that he "saved" the auto industry, because it's practically ingrained in his DNA to believe all kinds of shit.

    I just hope the American voter doesn't follow his delusion.

  • ttommyunger

    That cunt!

  • James Michael Curley

    I bought a bridge from Mitt but I am having trouble collecting the tolls. Another rich poser named Bloomfield or Bloomers or Bloomberger claims they belong to him.

  • tessiee

    So now we know who REALLY invented the internet.

  • tessiee

    "I pushed the idea of a managed bankruptcy. And finally, when that was done, and help was given, the companies got back on their feet. So I’ll take a lot of credit for the fact that this industry’s come back."

    To see how well this worked, google images for "Detroit Urban Decay", — although fair warning, it's VERY distressing even just to look at; it really does look like something out of a nightmare.

  • tessiee

    i realize that picture is a parking garage, but I can't look at it without thinking it's a vending machine, and the wrong car would fall out about halfway down and jam the spiral thing.

  • owhatever

    Don't you lefties get it? The Mitt is white and not the Obama. Ah don't give a hoot what he says to the librul media.

  • At least President Obama's campaign is calling him on his dishonesty instead of dancing around the issue like Kerry did.

  • Schmegeg

    He thinks things and they come true?? Did he read about the GM thing while looking in a Hat? Mitttens is a magical creature and simply MUST be president, even if it takes four or five more campaigns to get it right.

  • Gainsbourg69

    Mitt Romney may think he can fool the American people by hiding his belief that we should ‘let Detroit go bankrupt,’ but the American people won’t let him.

    I wouldn't count on the American people remembering shit. How do you think we ended up with a republican majority in the house of representatives in 2010?

  • unclejeems

    That's not all. I have it on good faith that he also:
    Found Livingston.
    Discovered the wreck of the Titanic.
    Harbors the actual locations of the Library of Alexandria AND the Ark of the Covenant. (Hint: it's not in Ethiopia. Why do you think his house in CA is being re-build?)
    Can correctly identify the French speakers in a polyglot group of Europeans 8 out of 10 times.
    Knows where Waldo is.

  • BZ1

    What hasn't Mittens reneged on?

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