The Catholic League’s Bill Donohue is none-too-pleased with the Kellogg’s family of cereals, as it unaccountably refused to yield to his demands that it immediately stop advertising on the Jonathan Stewartsky Half-Hour Jew Hour That Hates Goys Full-Time. Oooooh, what’d Kellogg’s say to Bill Donohue? Did they tell him to get fucked? Yes. Yes they did.
“We understand that our customers come from a variety of backgrounds, experiences, lifestyles, and cultures and we respect their individual decisions to choose the television programs that they deem acceptable for themselves and their families. Consumers speak most loudly when they vote with their remote control and change the channel or turn off the TV if a program does not fit their personal criteria.”
Hahahahaha, that is corporate-speak for “well bless your heart,” which is southern lady for “fuck you in the ass face down on a gravel road,” which is southern man for “Well, fine fellow, I must civilly disagree!”
And don’t think Bill Donohue doesn’t know exactly what he just heard! He’s so mad he’s about to go full-Nuge!
THIS SHALL NOT STAND!
In other words, Kellogg’s is telling Christians to shove it. But they made a mistake. We will now send the indefensible picture to their senior management and board, as well as to community leaders, religious and secular, throughout Battle Creek, Michigan. We are also calling for a national boycott of all Kellogg’s cereals. Moreover, I will notify the public via TV, radio and our website about their collapse of decency. This is just for starters. We have the time, money, and the determination to give Kellogg’s some free advertisement.
Oh. No. Stop. Don’t.
It is weird, it almost seems as if big corporations are no longer running scared from and doing the bidding of folks like Bill Donohue and the One Million Moms! (Forty-seven. They are 47 moms, with a really intense interest in lesbianism.)
Anyway, looks like Kellogg’s will have Bill Donohue to thank when all the hippies decide to finally let their uncombed spawn eat Frosted Flakes and Honey Smacks instead of puffed rice and tofu cereal. Or maybe they’ll be inspired by Kellogg’s next variety: Fruit of the Womb.