START DRINKING  6:00 pm May 4, 2012

New Poll: Majority of North Carolina Voters More Idiotic Than Previously Thought

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

So THIS is how Virginia Foxx happened.

Your Wonkette editor was happily trawling polling data on her Friday afternoon — how else do you get a wild weekend started — when she belatedly noticed a fun head-scratcher in a recent Public Policy Polling item about the upcoming vote on North Carolina’s Amendment One, which would add a ban on same-sex marriage and civil unions to the state constitution. Ready for what the polling revealed? You may need to read this twice: “55% of voters in the state support some form of legal recognition for gay couples in the form of either marriage or civil unions to only 41% completely opposed. But at the same time 55% of voters plan to support the amendment that would prohibit any legal recognition for same sex couples while only 41% are opposed.” Did you notice that, how the second thing does not seem to follow from the first? Why is this? Do not think any harder than the majority of North Carolinians about the answer.

It’s just plain old classic stupidity:

The problem for opponents is that only 40% of voters actually know that the amendment bans both gay marriage and civil unions. With those voters the amendment is failing by a 60-38 margin. But with voters who think all the amendment does is ban gay marriage, 27% of the electorate, it’s passing by a 72-27 margin. And with voters who admit they don’t actually know what the amendment does, 26% of the electorate, it leads by a 64-28 margin.

(Our bold.)

Don’t you just need a shot now, or fifty? See, wild weekend underway already. [PPP]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 306 comments }

Barb May 4, 2012 at 6:01 pm

I'm surprised North Carolina allows interracial marriage.

edgydrifter May 4, 2012 at 6:04 pm

65% of North Carolinians think they don't.

MissTaken May 4, 2012 at 6:14 pm

they do?

SorosBot May 4, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Only because the Supreme Court forced them to.

Steverino247 May 4, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Virginia is for Loving v. Virginia

Biff May 5, 2012 at 5:16 pm

I'd credit Clarence Thomas, but he wasn't on the court at the time.

glamourdammerung May 4, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Actually, SCOTUS forced them too, but they did change the law in 1977, one year before Mormons decided black folks "repented" and were now people too.

Chichikovovich May 4, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Alabama didn't get around to voting down, in a referendum, it's anti-interracial marriage laws until 2000. And even then, 40% voted to retain the laws.

glamourdammerung May 4, 2012 at 9:56 pm

I am pretty some Southern states still have those laws on the books.

LionHeartSoyDog May 4, 2012 at 10:14 pm

I am pretty, oh so pretty,
but not in the same way you are, glamdamm.
Best Wishes.

(lilgreenfootballz is one of the most vile sites around. Am not willing to investigate further).

starfanglednut May 5, 2012 at 8:06 am

omfg.

trampndirtdown May 4, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Funny how the Mormons decided god was wrong about black people when Jimmy Carter threatened to withhold federal funds from Utah.

glamourdammerung May 4, 2012 at 11:43 pm

That is very interesting in light of that strange "even Carter would do it" quote from Romney the other day.

Puffperney May 4, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Another amazing coincidence occurred when God told the mormon president that polygamy was no longer OK when the U.S. required the abolition of polygamy as a prerequisite for Utah to become a state.

Negropolis May 5, 2012 at 2:07 am

This is one thing that bothers me about Mormonism so much. It's so incredibly cynical. It's not like other religions that had to change their views through centuries of literal battle and strife, which itself is bad enough.

BelleSC May 5, 2012 at 8:16 am

I am surprised interracial couples are not shot on sight in some areas of the state.

weejee May 4, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Those Tar Heelies can't get their esteemed research triangle out of park.

Chow Yun Flat May 4, 2012 at 8:46 pm

I not only saw what you did there but I only had to think about it for a second. If I was from North Carolina I would still be trying to figure it out.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Meh, Research Triangle Park has a branch of the Cato Institute, so they're no great shakes.

smokefilledroommate May 5, 2012 at 2:51 am

They should get their research triangle out of the trailer park first. Shift it into scalene.

boobookitteh May 4, 2012 at 6:04 pm

You overestimate my estimation of the NC electorate.

I'll drink anyways.

edgydrifter May 4, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Voting for constitutional amendments you know nothing about–that's conservative!

smokefilledroommate May 4, 2012 at 6:09 pm

What do these people do, make cute pictures on their ballot with their "choices"?

smokefilledroommate May 4, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Instead of "I Voted" stickers they should hand out ones that say "I Brain Farted". They'd probably never know.

CapnFatback May 4, 2012 at 6:21 pm

The problem is, the poison that their votes cause lasts far longer than any fart.

Exhausted66 May 4, 2012 at 6:23 pm
EatsBabyDingos May 4, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Freedom fries, said Walter B. Jones.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard May 4, 2012 at 6:13 pm

You say this new law will require I amputate the nose from my face and leave a gaping hole? But I get to stick it to the gays (not literally, obvs!)? Works for me! YEE HAW!!!

ttommyunger May 4, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Slowing progress is just like trying to push a rope up the street: in the end, they will just wind up sweaty and looking stupid. Sadly, lots of folk will be hurt in the process, but the times are leaving these folk behind with their dicks in the dirt, and it can't happen soon enough to please me.

Puffperney May 4, 2012 at 11:51 pm

Amen!

Biel_ze_Bubba May 5, 2012 at 1:11 am

"There continues to be a massive generational gap with seniors (60/36) strongly in support of the amendment and young voters (33/59) strongly opposed."

So, yeah. We may just have to wait for the ignorant old fuckwads to die off.

ttommyunger May 5, 2012 at 8:04 am

As an old fuckwad, I say Amen! I'm like the hunter that caught the Racoon by the tail in a tree, “Just shoot up here, one of us needs some relief!”

CapnFatback May 4, 2012 at 6:14 pm

In times like these, I like to turn to the acute wisdom of Kent Brockman.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 9:10 pm

"Professor, would you say it's time to panic?"
"Yes, Kent. Yes, I would."

MissTaken May 4, 2012 at 6:15 pm

I just had to strong margaritas for lunch. I'm sure I am now qualified to vote in NC.

SorosBot May 4, 2012 at 6:19 pm

I don't know, margaritas sounds a little too Mexican to me.

Lascauxcaveman May 4, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Today, we are all Mexicans. Well, tomorrow, anyway.

iburl May 4, 2012 at 6:40 pm

a medianoche

weejee May 4, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Hopefully you'll be hitting the tequila after yer bike outing.

Lascauxcaveman May 4, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Probably be too lazy (exhausted) to make them up afterwards. I'll probably need assistance just to uncap my beers.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Also, she's one a' them there wimmenfolk.

Butch_Wagstaff May 4, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Makes you more qualified, actually.

LionHeartSoyDog May 4, 2012 at 11:23 pm

If strong is a verb, that's Cherman!

Radiotherapy May 4, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Wait until you drill down into Vagina Foxxx's district .*head explodes*

Fare la Volpe May 4, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Wait until you drill down into Vagina Foxxx's district

I am so glad you did not say "hole."

Radiotherapy May 4, 2012 at 9:41 pm

More like dried up sulphur pit. At least I didn't say "data."

SayItWithWookies May 4, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Wait — find out about something before you make an important decision about it? Sounds like sex education to me.

Sparky McGruff May 4, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Basketball, they pay attention to. Politics? Not so much.

HippieEsq May 4, 2012 at 6:17 pm

This math checks out to me. But I'm a lawyer, AND HIGH AS A KITE (and a little drinky too, hello Friday). So what do I know.

CapnFatback May 4, 2012 at 6:18 pm

"An informed voter? Boy, you must be thinking of some other Carolina."

Darthhippy May 4, 2012 at 6:28 pm

There's a good Carolina?

SorosBot May 4, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Sadly, North is the good Carolina, by comparison.

CapnFatback May 4, 2012 at 8:28 pm

My money's on West.

Negropolis May 4, 2012 at 7:58 pm

This is down-right scary, then, because North Carolina is the "smart" Carolina.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 9:11 pm

"An informed voter? Boy, you must be thinking of some other Carolina."

Certainly not South.

Dudleydidwrong May 4, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Carolina Kennedy?

WhatTheHeck May 4, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Goddammed poll asking multiple questions. Too confusing.
One question per poll please!

vodkamuppet May 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Do you like lollipops?
( )Yes
( )No
( )No opinion

SorosBot May 4, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Gah, now I do need a drink. But I don't have any alcohol and can't really afford any, dammit.

MissTaken May 4, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Sorry. Yet ANOTHER reason you need to move your happy ass here. I'm drowning in tequila!

SorosBot May 4, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Could you send some over here?

And yes, I will be happy once we're no longer 2,500 miles apart.

Texan_Bulldog May 4, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Are you two really dating? I knew of a couple who met on teh Wonkette but it was a long time ago & I don't remember their handles or even know if they are still together.

MissTaken May 4, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Yes, we really are. He came out here in Feb and I was out in Philly a couple of weeks ago. We're so cute together it's disgusting!

SorosBot May 4, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Yes, we are; we have been since January or February, depending on if you count from when we first started talking privately or when we first met each other. And MissTaken is even smarter, cuter and funnier in real life than she is here.

Steverino247 May 4, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Personal ad:

"Cute woman with plenty of tequila has need for happy ass in San Francisco. Likes SorosBots."

Put your shoes on and start walking, brother!

Callyson May 4, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Send SorosBot to Los Angeles when you two finish up–thanks

Chichikovovich May 4, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Man, things are screwed up in this country. You can't get something to drink even though you could use it, while I could go out and get a drink right now…. but I don't drink! Where's the logic in that? Huh?

Clearly Obama's fault.

Texan_Bulldog May 4, 2012 at 7:21 pm

I was watching 'Intervention' one night & this woman alcoholic was so bad off (her family had ditched all the liquor in the house) she drank mouthwash & strained Isopropyl alcohol through a paper towel. So, if you need a quick buzz head to your bathroom. (Snark off: that show is so incredibly sad, esp. when the majority of those filmed end up using again. One of my top 3 wishes for my kids is that they never suffer that level of addiction to anything.)

BigSkullF*ckingDog May 4, 2012 at 8:18 pm

" strained Isopropyl alcohol through a paper towel."

I'm not much of a chemist compared to a couple of my colleagues, but this offends even me with its stupidity.

starfanglednut May 5, 2012 at 8:18 am

Right? What exactly does the paper towel accomplish?

not that Dewey May 5, 2012 at 8:58 am

It keeps the big pieces out.

SorosBot May 4, 2012 at 8:30 pm

That sounds like the time Uncle Tom Hanks was desperate enough to drink the Keaton's vanilla extract, because that has alcohol in it, leading Alex to realize that he was an alcoholic. And fuck that's sad.

DustBowlBlues May 4, 2012 at 9:19 pm

I was thinking Days of Wine And Roses, I do not know the movie you menitoned. Or whatever.

SorosBot May 4, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Not a movie, a Very Special TV episode; and here you go:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlLvS1vH9Tk

Chichikovovich May 4, 2012 at 9:54 pm

[No snark] A friend of mine in Winnipeg worked the graveyard shift in a 7-11 located in one of the rougher parts of the city, which at the time was the center of the local skid road, as well as an area that was the heart of a recently sprung-up Filipino community. After midnight, almost all his customers were either Filipinos getting off of late work or "rubbies" as we called them in Canada (a reference to rubbing alcohol). His blackly humorous joke was that every client was of either Manila extraction or vanilla extraction. That 7-11 branch was the only thing open for miles around at that time of night, and so it was the only resort for the desperate. They had to put mouthwash behind the counter, then shoe polish, then Aqua Velva after-shave,… The job was a lesson in just how many household products contain enough alcohol to give someone a buzz.

DemmeFatale May 4, 2012 at 11:21 pm

My legendary, once glamorously beautiful Aunt drank all the perfume she could find in her (desperately) cleaned out house.
(I guess the vanilla and after-shave reminded me of that,)
*sigh*

Fare la Volpe May 4, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I worked at a homeless shelter in Asheville during my fall and winter breaks in high school, and two of the things all residents had to check at the door were mouthwash and (not kidding) rubbing alcohol. Homeless people would buy those and drink them straight because they couldn't buy booze, then suffer acute alcohol poisoning and either pass out or die before anyone could get them help. Some of the drinkers would burn their throats so badly that they would close up and suffocate them. It was awful.

Alcoholism was never funny to me after I heard those stories.

ColonelDoctor May 4, 2012 at 10:01 pm

The alcohol in rubbing alcohol is a toxic isomer. It isn't for ingestion. Isopropyl alcohol, methyl alcohol and the like will kill you. People can only drink ethyl alcohol. That is why people die sometimes from moonshine; it isn't precisely distilled and you get the bad isomers. Hence "triple-distilled" and the like.

Boojum May 4, 2012 at 10:28 pm

That, and the lead from the car radiator.

ColonelDoctor May 4, 2012 at 10:36 pm

That too.

BigSkullF*ckingDog May 5, 2012 at 2:48 am

Filter it through a paper towel. It'll be fine!

Fare la Volpe May 5, 2012 at 11:36 am

Just like filters keep the rat poison out of cigarettes!

Biff May 5, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Before there were paper towels, there were nylon stockings.

Just sayin'.

Guppy May 4, 2012 at 6:19 pm

The system works!

anniegetyerfun May 4, 2012 at 6:21 pm

how else do you get a wild weekend started

1. Flavored lube
2. Alpaca
3. ?
4. Profit!

StarsUponThars May 4, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Fuck North Carolina, right in the butt.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Has it got a purty mouth?

Fare la Volpe May 4, 2012 at 9:33 pm

No.

This is a Hate Fuck.

MissTaken May 4, 2012 at 6:23 pm

This confusion would easily be solved with a butterfly ballot.

Steverino247 May 4, 2012 at 6:32 pm

You typed "butterfly" but somehow "labia" came to mind. Hmm.

MissTaken May 4, 2012 at 6:33 pm

I like to get my labia ballot punched, too!

Steverino247 May 4, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Let me correct that personals ad…

Personal ad:

"Cute woman with plenty of tequila has need for happy ass and labia ballot punching in San Francisco. Likes SorosBots."

Road trip!

glamourdammerung May 4, 2012 at 8:20 pm

And Ron Paul stayed flat.

smokefilledroommate May 4, 2012 at 6:40 pm

What about your fartbox? (…sorry, that was terrible.)

Generation[redacted] May 4, 2012 at 6:42 pm

I have a hanging chad… (audience: WoooOOOOOoooooo)

smokefilledroommate May 4, 2012 at 6:47 pm

And I've got a pregnant chad!

SorosBot May 4, 2012 at 6:50 pm

I see you're trying to turn all the men of Wonkette on again today.

MissTaken May 4, 2012 at 6:56 pm

And some of the women!

nounverb911 May 4, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Needs more Pat Buchanan.

smokefilledroommate May 4, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Gah! That's an unfortunate spot for your post to be in.

BigSkullF*ckingDog May 4, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Nothing in the world has ever needed more Pat Buchanan. It doesn't exist.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Pat Robertson needs more Pat Buchanan.

smokefilledroommate May 4, 2012 at 10:17 pm

It's Pats!

Fare la Volpe May 4, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Hell does.

Boojum May 4, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Or a butterfly bullet, aka 2nd Amendment solution.

starfanglednut May 5, 2012 at 8:21 am

You mean butterfly net, right?

ManchuCandidate May 4, 2012 at 6:26 pm

This is why US America can't have nice things.

CivicHoliday May 4, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Reading is for losers. I have robo-calls to tell me how to vote.

Radiotherapy May 4, 2012 at 6:31 pm

I'm robophobic. I go by the pap negative campaign ads.

Mojopo May 4, 2012 at 6:26 pm

If only the gays would add a child beating amendment, something North Carolina people can use and enjoy, they might get civil unions. Without an opportunity to whip, smack or mash little kids, I just don't see how this will get through.

Not_So_Much May 4, 2012 at 6:27 pm

You keep yer goldurned maths outta the Confederacy, ya heah?!

Mojopo May 4, 2012 at 6:40 pm

What in the sam hill are these durn Yankees going to marry next? A calculator I bet! Go to Californee, hippie queer, and take yer adding machine boyfriend with you! We don't cotton to no numbers round here!

Redhead May 4, 2012 at 6:29 pm

If your head isn't sore from banging it against the wall yet…

I saw this commercial last night. I am not making this up.
"Everyone gay or straight is free to live as they choose, but no one has the right to redefine marriage." (set to the image of a bible, right after talking about how GOD defined marriage IN THE BIBLE before NC was a state).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPY5mZt6aL8

jodyleek May 4, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Doesn't the bible have several references to men having multiple wives? Where does it say in the bible that marriage is only between one man and one woman? The wedding at Canaan could have been for a guy who already had a bevy of dames. Seriously. I mean, I know I'm drunk but I think these fuckers are just making shit up.

Redhead May 4, 2012 at 7:12 pm

You're not that drunk – they are. (And they're trying to frame it as a freedom of religion issue – as in my freedom to impose my shit head views on anyone who disagrees)

jodyleek May 4, 2012 at 7:29 pm

They are all Liars for Jesus! Read Chris Rodda's book – lots of gory detail (not blood and guts – scholarly) but fascinating.

Dashboard Buddha May 4, 2012 at 7:16 pm

All of Solomon's wives, Katie

EtchySketchy May 4, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Fine illustration of the 'Trickle-Up Theory Of Stupidity" as we watch the dumbness rise from South Carolina.

Naked_Bunny May 4, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Nothing like voting on stuff I know nothing about.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 4, 2012 at 6:34 pm

A majority of Americans also support the Administration's policy toward Freedonia.

nounverb911 May 4, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Hail, Hail Freedonia.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Prof. Wagstaff? is that you?

Dudleydidwrong May 4, 2012 at 9:27 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyeKYQdYISg

Also filmed in George Bush's War Room

flamingpdog May 5, 2012 at 3:00 am

Is it just me, or does the clown at 0:16 look like Saddam Hussein? And I have had a drop of alcohol tonight, neither?

Fare la Volpe May 4, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Americans Agree: Everything Great in Iraf.

nounverb911 May 4, 2012 at 6:37 pm

What do you expect from a state with an $87 higher education budget?

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 9:18 pm

This was best expressed in an editorial cartoon in "The Daily Tar Heel", circa 1994, where the following words were written in a circle:
"There are a lot of bible thumpers here, so we don't have a state lottery, so the schools are underfunded and terrible, so our kids grow up stupid, so there are a lot of bible thumpers here…"

Fukui-sanYesOta May 4, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Ugh. That argument probably goes for a lot of states.

Texas and their odious school board also springs to mind.

bikerlaureate May 4, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Another great opportunity for a favorite of mine…

Josh: 68 percent think we're giving too much in foreign aid and 59 percent think it should be cut.
Will: You like that stat.
Josh: I do.
Will: Why?
Josh: Because 9 percent think it's too high and shouldn't be cut!! Nine percent of the respondents couldn't fully get their arms around the question.

BarackMyWorld May 4, 2012 at 10:40 pm

West Wing?

Guppy May 4, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Direct democrat action by morons…

I just realized! North Carolina has become California!

Fukui-sanYesOta May 4, 2012 at 8:14 pm

California had proposition R which, sadly, didn't pass.

"Shall the City change the name of the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant to the George W Bush Sewage Plant?"

Monsieur_Grumpe May 4, 2012 at 6:45 pm

What do expect from the state where Forest Gump talks too fast for 76% of the population?

CommieLibunatic May 4, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Discarding this poll from my memory. My weekend forecast is already looking stressful.

owhatever May 4, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Arizona is not going to put up with that, if they figure it out.

sullivanst May 4, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Since North Carolina's state constitution already defines marriage as between a man and a woman, and since North Carolina state law already bans same-sex marriage, the "fuck you you can't have any rights at all" amendment appears to be a gilded invitation for Anthony Kennedy to go all Romer v Evans on their asses.

chascates May 4, 2012 at 6:57 pm

They're more concerned that they can still marry close family members.

weejee May 4, 2012 at 7:13 pm

The tree don't need no stinkin' branches y'all.

Antispandex May 4, 2012 at 7:09 pm

This isn't really that hard to understand. See, there is no "C" option. One of my friends back when I was in the Navy was from there and he said when he didn't know an answer he always picked "C". So, obviously, the entire state has switched to "A". You have to be a good test taker to get these things, I guess. I was always studying and try to get the correct answer….I know, dumb. Well, at least I'm not a homophobe! That's something.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 4, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Finally, a state that Sarah Palin deserves to be governor of.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 9:19 pm

They don't want her, either.

OneYieldRegular May 4, 2012 at 7:10 pm

As a North Carolina native who spent the first 18 years of my life in the state, might I offer a quiet bit of sage advice to others similarly situated?

GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!

Fairtackle May 4, 2012 at 7:13 pm

I was going to defend NC by saying that Charlestons is a really nice town, but…

Boojum May 4, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Charlotte, NC or Charleston, SC.

Or Dumbfuck, Ignorance.

Fairtackle May 4, 2012 at 10:52 pm

xC = DI

BigSkullF*ckingDog May 4, 2012 at 7:14 pm

"more idiotic than previously thought."
NOT POSSIBLE

OldWhiteLies May 4, 2012 at 7:25 pm

I'd like a list of volunteers to place giant Mr. Yuck stickers on all the Welcome to North Carolina signs.

It only seems fair to the rest of the planet.

OneYieldRegular May 4, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Forward!

Mumbletypeg May 4, 2012 at 7:32 pm

O/T Jeopardy! tonight has a category whose clues will be given by our POTUS~

MissTaken May 4, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Answer:

This President's stick is so big Air Force One must refuel every 1,000 miles due to the extra weight.

Mumbletypeg May 4, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Sorry for the late correction– POTUS FLOTUS

Radiotherapy May 4, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Celebrity elitist.

C_R_Eature May 4, 2012 at 8:12 pm

"I'll take The Sheriff is Near for $500, Alex."

Negropolis May 4, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Jeopardy? What a snob!

ifthethunderdontgetya May 4, 2012 at 7:35 pm

And with voters who admit they don’t actually know what the amendment does, 26% of the electorate, it leads by a 64-28 margin.

(Our bold.)

Let's get that chant goin', beaches.

USA! USA! USA!
~

Negropolis May 4, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Something similar happened with Michigan's gay marriage ban in that it didn't just outlaw same-sex marriage rights, but was so broadly written that even unmarried opposite-sex partnerships were deemed null, as well as other kinds of familial domestic situations. Then, after it was passed, everyone claimed they didn't realize it did that, too.

horsedreamer_1 May 4, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Except all the moral midgets in Michigan Dutch Country who proclaimed: "WINNING!"

Chichikovovich May 4, 2012 at 9:32 pm

I have rarely been as angry about anything in politics as I was about that referendum. It wasn't just that people "didn't realize" that it would go that far – the anti-gay marriage forces were actively encouraging that impression. I still remember the incessant robocalls we were getting – "It's about marriage, not about benefits" over and over again. When people pointed out that the language was so ridiculously broad it could be used to force the University of Michigan to stop offering health insurance to same-sex domestic partners of employees, the proponents of the proposition said the worriers were engaging in "scare tactics".

The Attorney general (I think it was Mike Cox, but if not it was some other Calvinist wacko) kept pretty quiet about the whole thing. Then within days of the proposition passing, he filed suit to prevent the U of M from offering domestic partner benefits. The haste made it clear that the case had been prepared and strategized long before. And, of course, he won, because the language was that broad. [U of M has some smart lawyers around campus, as it happens, and they found a way around the decision and brought back the benefits in a way that satisfied the letter of the law, but the forces of obsessive theocracy have been fighting tooth and nail to stop them.]

When thinking about it now I am choking with fury. You expect a certain level of dishonesty in politics, but it was staggering to see playing out before my eyes the sheer barefaced lying about the effect the proposition would have, when having that effect was precisely what the bill was crafted to do.

Tabernak, it is things like this that make it clear to me how beneath contempt these people are, as well as frightening. And I make sure to have my Canadian passport up-to-date.

Negropolis May 4, 2012 at 10:31 pm

It was Mike Cox. But, just to be clear, like the governor and senate majority leader and the lt. governor and (fill in blank of prominent, Michigan politician), he is a Catholic.

Chichikovovich May 4, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Ah – thanks for the correction. He's a wacko, but not the precise flavor of wacko I had believed.

Negropolis May 5, 2012 at 1:56 am

Yeah, the West Michigan Calvinists (i.e. the so-called "Dutch Mafia".) know that the only way they even have a chance of winning any statewide race in Michigan is to ally with the Southeast Michigan Catholics.

The Southeast Michigan Catholics, though, are a swingy bunch dependent upon the year and the issue being voted on in the way the westside extremists will never be. They are the folks that gave Jennifer Granholm a second term, and allowed medical marijuana and stem celll research margins of support of 60% . They are also the idiots that elected Engler and passed the gay marriage ban.

Boojum May 4, 2012 at 10:41 pm

You should have seen Georgia pass a sovereign immunity amendment. The ballot question was written as if it was giving citizens the right to sue the State, when the Amendment did the exact opposite.

George Spelvin May 4, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Well, if he was a Calvinist, he didn't really have any choice, did he?

BTW, one of the lesser benefits to me of your participation in teh Wonkette (the major ones include your extraordinarily broad range of knowledge and crystalline logic) is that you have introduced all of us to sacres.

Negropolis May 4, 2012 at 7:51 pm

BTW, America is the very best example against compulsory voting.

So, when do we put up the reintroduction of race-based chattel slavery?

anniegetyerfun May 4, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Also: "Studies show that close to 70% of Americans don't own passports, causing the rest of the world to breathe a sigh of relief."

C_R_Eature May 4, 2012 at 8:10 pm

I have a passport. Don't relax just yet, World.

Negropolis May 4, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Suckers! So do I! Bwahahahaha….

C_R_Eature May 4, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Heh. And I bet they think Americans on TV are horrible…

BigSkullF*ckingDog May 4, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Don't go to France. They'll dip you in butter and eat you.

C_R_Eature May 4, 2012 at 8:38 pm

Ha! They'll have to catch me first. I'm packing Ink.

Boojum May 4, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Or Savannah, where they should have to have a passport to leave.

Negropolis May 5, 2012 at 2:09 am

Paula Deen libel!

Radiotherapy May 4, 2012 at 11:03 pm

The Constitution is infallible.

Fukui-sanYesOta May 5, 2012 at 1:05 am

"I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions. But laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors."

I think I've played this game with you before.

Numbat_Dundee May 4, 2012 at 8:04 pm

So here's my plan. Propose an amendment to the North Carolina constitution that a certain visiting Australian with a marsupial nom de plume be given large wads of cash and/or complimentary blow jobs from the comelier inhabitants of the state if and when he should choose to visit. Frame the proposal in words of more than one syllable and watch as the "don't know what it means but I'll vote for it anyway" demographic push it into the "Yes" column. Then collect.
Of course I'd have to visit North Carolina…

Fukui-sanYesOta May 4, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Of course I'd have to visit North Carolina…

Proposition Numbat, Clause 2.3g

All aforementioned fellatio from Clause 2.3b shall be consummated at a locale determined by the eponymous party of the amendment and at the expense of the fellator.

See? Easy.

Boojum May 4, 2012 at 10:45 pm

And "comelier" might be too vague. I would at least specify the number of extremities and teeth.

BarackMyWorld May 4, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Still better than South Carolina.

C_R_Eature May 4, 2012 at 8:14 pm

26% of the N.C. electorate's Thought Balloon, voting day:

"I'm a Moron and this is my Wife
She's frosting a cake with a paper knife…"

DocChaos May 4, 2012 at 8:20 pm

And North Carolina is supposed to be the smart Carolina.

Fukui-sanYesOta May 4, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Is that like South Dakota being the interesting Dakota?

Radiotherapy May 4, 2012 at 8:39 pm

I think it's more like North America is the smart America. And Central America is the red headed step child.

emmelemm May 4, 2012 at 8:55 pm

"North America is the smart America"

Mmm. I'm not too sure about that. Maybe if you'd said North America is one of the top three Americas, I'd believe it. (Not including America Ferrera.)

Boojum May 4, 2012 at 10:46 pm

And West Virginia is the mean one. By God.

horsedreamer_1 May 4, 2012 at 8:34 pm

Just when we thought nothing could sink below the Bobcats…

Radiotherapy May 4, 2012 at 8:40 pm

At least they don't have Pedro's South of the Border, well, except the fucking billboards every fucking 1/2 mile.

smokefilledroommate May 4, 2012 at 8:50 pm

NC voters plea: "Next Tuesday, join me in voting NO on whatever the fuck that bill is."

valthemus May 4, 2012 at 9:00 pm

If you add "inexplicable voter dumbassery" to the tags, will too many Wonkette articles fall into that category?

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Ooh! Ooh!
I'm calling mine "Dollars for Jeebus".

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 9:20 pm

You know, just in case they were getting too smug because *south* carolina has "South of the Border".

Radiotherapy May 4, 2012 at 9:29 pm

t., see my Pedro's joke three above.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Also, Jesus vs. Godjira came up with the same "pay me money bill" idea as numbat dundee.

Great minds, same gutter, yadda yadda yadda.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Your move, Arizona.

Blueb4sunrise May 4, 2012 at 9:54 pm

It's been a slow week except for Nazi murder/suicides. On the lighter side…..
founder of Prescott Tea Party

…..forgery, fraud, theft and identity theft charges.

http://azstarnet.com/news/state-and-regional/woma

SorosBot May 4, 2012 at 9:59 pm

A Nazi murder/suicide – who tried (luckily incompetently) to make it look like he, and all the family members he killed, including the year-and-a-half-old baby, were killed instead by angry Mexicans. Fuck that story is infuriating.

Boojum May 4, 2012 at 10:48 pm

A martyr, to herp derp.

Fukui-sanYesOta May 4, 2012 at 11:45 pm

Don't forget good old Shawna Forde, who felt it her duty to shoot messicans because, um, whatever.

"Raul and Brisenia Flores, who died, as well as Gina Gonzalez, who survived, were all natural-born U.S. citizens."

She and her Aryan-nation buddies shot a 9-year-old girl as she begged for her life.

user-of-owls May 5, 2012 at 12:04 am

She and her Aryan-nation buddies shot a 9-year-old girl as she begged for her life.

It was the Christian thing to do, don't you know.

not that Dewey May 5, 2012 at 9:50 am

I had written a smart-ass email to the Minutemen/Jim Gilchrist in the wake of the Shawna Forde trial, something about the Minutemen should amend their "code of ethics" to include shooting 9-year-old girls in the face. He was not amused. He decided to show me what's what by accusing me of child molestation, and then spamming me with 400 racist Minutemen emails every day, not realizing that I know what a spam filter is.

More productively, I got one of the Albuquerque news stations to run a story on it, which they had been avoiding, although they run stories on "border violence" nearly every day, because usually "border violence" is supposed to mean a white person was attacked my a brown person, and not the other way around.

imissopus May 5, 2012 at 2:53 am
Blueb4sunrise May 5, 2012 at 11:57 am

Always with the negative waves imissopus. I was trying for the Friday Good News Story.
.
.
………..and a great cheer went up from the lawyers. Also.

imissopus May 5, 2012 at 6:05 pm

LEAVE OPUS ALOOOOOOOOONE!

littlebigdaddy May 4, 2012 at 9:29 pm

As a former Tarheel, I am surprised. It has one of the best educated populations in the country, and the Triangle, Charlotte, Asheville, and a few other places are generally pretty liberal. I think this may be a flawed poll, maybe because they are only calling land lines.

DustBowlBlues May 4, 2012 at 9:35 pm

yeah. If our beloved editor feels the need to make fun of an always-dumbass state, what not pick on a state that deserves it. I mean, what's Oklahoma? Chopped okra?

Fare la Volpe May 5, 2012 at 11:51 am

People usually ignore it for its bigger, dumber, and louder brother due South.

MosesInvests May 6, 2012 at 1:19 am

Bigger and louder, yes. Dumber? I mean, Texas has its share of eedjits, but in '08 not *one* county in Okiestan went for Obama.

Come here a minute May 4, 2012 at 9:41 pm

OT — This sounds like something that would send you straight to Mormon Hell:

2 New Grandchildren for Romney, With Help of Surrogate

Blueb4sunrise May 4, 2012 at 10:01 pm

One for Teh Creature .

Chieftans and Carolina Chocolate Drops.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akjH9QEejWA&fe

DustBowlBlues May 4, 2012 at 10:02 pm

No Spooky Mormon Hell Dreams for Mitt. As is clear in the Book of Mormon, exceptions are made for rich white people.

trampndirtdown May 4, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Spooky Mormon Hell Dream…. just Turn It Off! like a light switch.

littlebigdaddy May 4, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Of course, California passed a similar measure.

Negropolis May 4, 2012 at 10:21 pm

There are few states left that haven't passed similar measures.

It's so obvious, now, that this is just about keeping the president from winning North Carolina in the fall. It's so fucking cynical and transparent that it's sickening. Itis definitely worth noting that these things seem to be put on the ballot during presidential elections. That it discriminates against a group is just the icing. This is about getting the mouth-breathers out to the polls forever-tax cuts and forever-wars.

Fukui-sanYesOta May 4, 2012 at 10:56 pm

That was f'in sickening. Those valley fucks. I once saw a horse out there with a Bush/Cheney sticker on the saddle.

BZ1 May 4, 2012 at 10:15 pm

The old conundrum, easier to say no, especially when you haven't got a clue about virtually anything…

BarackMyWorld May 4, 2012 at 11:29 pm

OT: The Huffington Post's headline earlier today about Romney's response to April's unemployment numbers was pretty good.

Fukui-sanYesOta May 5, 2012 at 12:36 am

OT This is a pretty interesting walkaround of a US stealth ship from the mid-80s based on F-117 technology. If you jump the long text part, you can set up a kinda slideshow with scrollable panoramas.

It's obviously the ship which inspired the stealth ship in the Bond film "Tomorrow Never Dies".

Radiotherapy May 5, 2012 at 1:52 am

I heard ol' what's his name was trying to counter this war machine before he was whacked.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 5, 2012 at 12:52 am

"And with voters who admit they don’t actually know what the amendment does, 26% of the electorate, it leads by a 64-28 margin. "

I'm beginning to understand how the GOP does it.

imissopus May 5, 2012 at 3:12 am

Well, I've read through this comment thread and I am now even more profoundly depressed than I was before. You people are supposed to cheer me up, dammit! I'm going to bed.

thatsitfortheother1 May 5, 2012 at 3:17 am

Take some cheer from the fact you don't live in N. Carolina.

Lost Trail: Experimental, Ambient Music From Hillsborough, NC May 5, 2012 at 3:32 am

how amusing that people pushing for gay and lesbian rights, ie against stereotyping and discrimination…pull out hateful and discriminatory stereotypes and assumptions about a state theyve likely never visited?

let's make this clear. north carolina has a thriving gay population, a stellar arts scene, and those us not living out in the middle of nowhere are against this amendment.

don't judge us by the other half of our state, thanks. im a committed liberal activist and i also love my state. and while i may be distressed by this situation, it isn't like other states aren't being as bad or worse. how many of you making snide southern stereotype jokes are from california, i wonder? you sure proved yourself just about as hateful of the LGBT population, didn't you? Just don't generalize my state when i'm a devoted liberal activist in a veritable sea of them down here. stereotyping is stereotyping, whether the subject is a gay person or an entire state you don't understand anything about, thanks.

Negropolis May 5, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Everybody loves their state. Well, most people love their state, anyway. And every state gets made fun of, here, and every negative stereotype ir brought when they do stupid shit, yes, even blue states. So, I really wish Southerners would spare us this ultra-defensiveness whenever their turn comes up.

This shit has passed in every state it's been put up in, so to think this is some targeted attack on Southern yokels is reading into this more than is either written or even implied.

Project much?

imissopus May 6, 2012 at 3:18 am

Uh-oh, someone got his fee-fees hurt!

Get over yourself, Bubba. We make fun of everyone around here. And that poll doesn't discriminate between liberals and conservatives – near as I can tell, it's saying voters of all stripes of NC are fucking idiots about this issue. And by the way, I have visited your lovely state many times (I grew up next door in Virginia and we think you North Carolinians are absolutely adorable) and I have friends who live in the state who are very smart and generally liberal, but you guys also gave the country Jesse Helms and Virginia Foxx and the 2012 Charlotte Bobcats, so just own it and go whine somewhere else.

Negropolis May 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm

LOL! @ grouping the 2012 Bobcats with the other nuts. lol

randcoolcatdaddy May 5, 2012 at 8:38 am

It's surprising who Supports Amendment 1. Hannabal Lector does … do you?

DahBoner May 5, 2012 at 9:51 am

Wayne's World, Beavis & Butthead, Dumb & Dumber: Revolutionary GOP Roadmap to the Future…

Dashboard Buddha May 5, 2012 at 10:48 am

Don't forget Idiotcracy

neiltheblaze May 5, 2012 at 11:11 am

No – they aren't more idiotic than I already thought.

valthemus May 5, 2012 at 12:07 pm

When did logic become so unfashionable?

BigSkullF*ckingDog May 4, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Yes

SorosBot May 4, 2012 at 7:01 pm

True, I shouldn't forget that; and now have some pleasant images in my mind.

Texan_Bulldog May 4, 2012 at 7:43 pm

How cute is that?! How did that transpire since you don't have access to real names or email addresses?

Blueb4sunrise May 4, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Damn!
[Scratches another one off the list.]

DustBowlBlues May 4, 2012 at 9:23 pm

That's insufferable darling. What hasn't anyone sent me hidden messages of love? No one around here even seems to love me. Maybe it's being 64 arthritic and having the old man and his porn mentioned on virtually every comment stream I offer my two cents on. Oops–underemployed wonket English major sitting in mom's basement, having raided Dad's liquor cabinet who is now raving, pissed off drunk.

What was I talking about? I got carried away finishing up with the beginning of a short story, and now I've forgott—

Oh, I remember. It had to do with ending a sentence with a proposition and kind of wandered off for a while.

Blueb4sunrise May 4, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Okay, you crazy kids, go for it. Here's an old tune fer ya. The Carolina Chocolate Drops are from Durham….so almost on topic.

Your Baby Ain't Sweet Like Mine

Also a good 501 if anyone has extra money laying around.
I am in no way affiliated with MMRF….etc…. http://www.musicmaker.org/mission/

MissTaken May 4, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Thanks!

SorosBot sucked it up and posted his email addy deep on some Santorum thread back in January. We've been talking daily ever since.

MissTaken May 4, 2012 at 7:46 pm

*blushing*

Texan_Bulldog May 4, 2012 at 7:47 pm

Awww….such a sweetie. Good luck to you both & I want to be invited to the wedding or the abortion–whichever comes first!

DustBowlBlues May 4, 2012 at 9:25 pm

I never even noticed the two of you flirting. That's what I get for not having time to wonkette-up my dull life.

FakaktaSouth May 4, 2012 at 10:35 pm

I am just busting up in here to say what up Sor-ken and I love when I actually am one of the cool kids that already knew about this from way back. Now I need a tshirt "that proves you were there, that you heard of them first." Mazel Tov.

Texan_Bulldog May 4, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Glad to hear it–good for you guys!

Spurning Beer May 4, 2012 at 9:47 pm

That's adorable. How do you decide who's going to be the designated driver?

SorosBot May 4, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Aw, you're cute when you blush.

SorosBot May 4, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Aw, we all love you here, DBB, don't worry.

Chichikovovich May 4, 2012 at 9:37 pm

The Old Man and his Porn — that was one of Hemingway's edgier stories.

Fare la Volpe May 4, 2012 at 9:39 pm

underemployed wonket English major sitting in mom's basement, having raided Dad's liquor cabinet who is now raving, pissed off drunk.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET PERSONAL.

<bawls>

Spurning Beer May 4, 2012 at 9:50 pm

A proposition is a terrible thing to end a sentence with.

I mean, a proposition is a terrible thing to end a sentence with, so let's make out.

Chet Kincaid May 5, 2012 at 12:52 am

You never acknowledge any of the compliments I type at you!!

Biff May 5, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Uh, because you're always yammering about having an ol' man? Otherwise, you're the perfect woman!

DustBowlBlues May 4, 2012 at 10:05 pm

And that, sir, is my laugh out loud moment at the end of a long day. Thanks.

Boojum May 4, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Why not at the same time, at the Abortionplex Chapel?

Fukui-sanYesOta May 4, 2012 at 11:00 pm

There used to be a quiz (sadly taken down) where it was "LGF commenters talking about Muslims or actual Nazi quote?"

Stuff like this:

"Nature is cruel; therefore we are also entitled to be cruel… Should I not also have the right to eliminate millions of an inferior race that multiplies like vermin?"

"I am obeying the highest law by doing my duty. Man must defend himself against bedbugs and rats — against vermin."

"Our superiority, militarily and morally, to these vermin is so overwhelming that it would go without saying, were it not for the daily shrieking of the… press."

"I've been fond of transfer of these subhuman[s] for a while. Perhaps something more like targeted genocide… will become necessary."

"They don't need statehood; they need sterilization."

It was really hard to tell.

HistoriCat May 4, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Oh sure, Music Maker seems like a good cause but what relationship do they have with the Uzbekistan leadership? And how much are they doing to oppose abortion?

BelleSC May 5, 2012 at 8:36 am

The Carolina Chocolate Drops won a Grammy in 2010 in the Best Traditional Folk Album category for their album, "Genuine Negro Jig."

"On the album, the multi-instrumental group reclaims and revives a near-forgotten brand of banjo-driven string-band music from North Carolina’s Piedmont region, and doing so, says the Boston Globe, with 'a contagious, abundant joy.' "

From the nonesuch.com website.

An_Outhouse May 5, 2012 at 9:02 am

I love CCD, have three CDs. They are the good Carolina.

Steverino247 May 4, 2012 at 11:26 pm

I think we should take up a collection or something to help you move out there to SFO. I'll talk to the Editrix about it on Thursday. 8)

Chichikovovich May 4, 2012 at 11:34 pm

That's really a tragic story. My heart goes out to her, and to the people ike you who loved her.

SorosBot May 4, 2012 at 11:35 pm

I do like the "Sor-ken" name for us; the only better name I can think of uses our real names, that one works well

glamourdammerung May 4, 2012 at 11:42 pm

I am not sure what LGF has to do with my somehow managing to forget to put the word "sure" in my earlier post here. Especially since I have only read posts there rarely and do not comment there.

glamourdammerung May 4, 2012 at 11:47 pm

I would refrain from posting your real name and contact info if I were you unless you really want "witty" prank calls and impotent death threats from Breitbart's flying monkey brigade.

user-of-owls May 5, 2012 at 12:01 am

Shampoo. You forgot shampoo. And licking the sweat off yourself in the hopes of catching some of the good stuff just seeping right the hell out of you.

One more fun fact: if you're a souse that's hiding it from your spouse (you louse), disposal of the evidence becomes an issue, as does finding a place to pour the cheapest shit you can buy down your throat. In this, I found, Walmart is your friend. Parking lots are off road and not a damn soul watches you. Except the other drunks doing the same thing. Our minds think alike. Then once you finishing the swill, you go round back and toss the empty bottle in the dumpster. Don't even need to get out of your car.

This is why sots make great CIA/FBI types. We are extremely crafty.

Fukui-sanYesOta May 5, 2012 at 12:32 am

Your blog link references LGF on the hover-over, which I think is what LHSD was talking about.

Fukui-sanYesOta May 5, 2012 at 1:08 am

Yeah, because fuck knows those messicans aren't Christian. Probably Zoroastrian or something.

Radiotherapy May 5, 2012 at 1:39 am

hey bitch, guess who has to go sober? but you know what? tx to you and Dewey, I figure I can do it as well. wish luck upon me, my ulto-avian friend. actually, when you guys were in the midst july of '11 or so, i had cut down, but now the party is over. i just wanted you to know.
and fukui, this is a tough time for me too, so if in a few days you guys don't see me for awhile, you'll know why.

flamingpdog May 5, 2012 at 3:13 am

If Jimmy Cefalo became a Catholic priest, would he be a Cefalopadre?

Fukui-sanYesRadio May 5, 2012 at 4:23 am

My friend, I know what you're going through and I've been cutting back myself because I've admitted that I have a problem too.

Good luck to you and my best wishes. I will be thinking of you.

edit: Solidarity.

starfanglednut May 5, 2012 at 8:29 am

Radio, I too am a sober avian. I'm around if you need to talk.

user-of-owls May 5, 2012 at 11:23 am

Wow.
Huau.
Wao.

Can't tell you how proud I am. We're here, all of us. Welcome on board the HMS Sobrio.

CapnFatback May 5, 2012 at 12:13 pm

VayaconDoritos, my friend. In lieu of raising a glass, come to the Wonk and raise a p-score.

MittBorg June 6, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Hey, Radio. It's been a while, and I've missed you, guy. Hope things are working out for ya. Please let us know as and when you can how you're doing. You know where to find me, if you ever want to talk.

glamourdammerung May 5, 2012 at 4:35 am

That makes more sense. I was thinking I might have been confused with someone else. But yes, I thought the link was a pretty good example of how Breitards "function".

Fukui-sanYesRadio May 5, 2012 at 4:41 am

Heh, we've all seen your posts and I don't think anyone would mistake you for one of those virulently vicious LGF commentators!

LionHeartSoyDog May 15, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Absolutely no disrespect intended towards you, dear glamz.

starfanglednut May 5, 2012 at 8:12 am

A metric century is a very respectable ride, my friend. I'm good for 50 miles, tops. And that's at the end of summer.

starfanglednut May 5, 2012 at 8:17 am

Oh, they were told several times to get a room. That may have ben what finally got them together.

SorosBot May 5, 2012 at 11:10 am

It was! Thanks, people who told us to get a room, because we did.

user-of-owls May 5, 2012 at 11:26 am

And to you, dear Fukui, solidaridad y abrazos a ti. Embrace happiness even though it isn't easy, feel wonder when all is dark. Miracles happen.

user-of-owls May 5, 2012 at 11:29 am

You do our genus proud, you crested sweetheart you. And we're here to talk for you. Always. ;)

I think we're nearing critical mass here! And Dewey started it off by having the courage to talk about his first steps right here around 10 months ago. Hooray for us!

Lascauxcaveman May 5, 2012 at 11:29 am

I haven't ridden that far in one shot in over 30 years. But the only hard part (the first 8 miles, on this route) I do about once a week. So I think I'll survive. I forced myself to ride every day the weather allowed this winter, so I actually stayed in pretty good shape.

Radiotherapy May 5, 2012 at 12:17 pm

abrazos, pero no besos, mi amigo. srsly, I am not looking forward to this, right now it's the nausea/anxiety that gets me in the morning, but I can't tell you and Dewey enough how you inspire me. In fact I am going to go read those threads again.

not that Dewey May 5, 2012 at 12:34 pm

I left you some anxiety/nausea Hints from Heloise on an older thread. I hope that helps.

user-of-owls May 5, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Ginger for the stomach, meditation (if you work at it a bit) for los nervios.

Once the minutes get easier, the hours get easier, once the hours get easier, the days get easier; the days get easier, the years get easier. And then you win. Huzzah!

Biff May 5, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Jesus christ, what a bunch of quitters we've become.
23 years here, but who's counting…

starfanglednut June 6, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Radio,

Mumbletypeg suggested that I could reach you by replying to one of your posts. I want you to know that I've been where you are, and anything I can do to help, I will. Just say the word. I know this is a hard time, but I promise you, it really is the beginning of a new life. I will forward my email to Rebecca. Perhaps she can get it to you. Everyone here at teh wonkette is pulling for you.

sfn

user-of-owls May 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Hear, hear, pip, pip and all that rot!

starfanglednut May 5, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Ha ha we should have a sober wonkette meet up. Can you imagine? We'd have to make up for the lack of alcohol with buttsecks, lots and lots of buttsecks.

starfanglednut May 5, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Boy meets girl on wonkette, they are told to get a room. It's a love story for the ages.

Radiotherapy May 5, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Tx Biff, I really do appreciate that.

Biff May 5, 2012 at 7:27 pm

We're all here for ya, Buddy…

Radiotherapy May 5, 2012 at 8:02 pm

I've been reading those threads from last summer where Dewey and Owls fessed up and our community rallied around them. And, more importantly, how they handled their "transition" to sobriety. I'm hoping later tonight we can all talk again — on the cinco de mayo thread? My counselor called it a disease of isolation, and probably it's a lot more subtle than that for me, but I guess i am a anti-social socialist to some degree.

Biff May 5, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Who knew this joint could be supportive or inspirational? Hope I can catch up later, on my way out for some live music and coffee. Such a place now exists nearby, apparently.

Boojum May 5, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Where are you, Radio?

Designer_Radio May 24, 2012 at 12:41 pm

but I guess i am a anti-social socialist to some degree.

I believe I know EXACTLY what you mean. Also, good job for initiating this. I've been sober 2 yrs now. Eventually you'll find something else to occupy your time.

Boojum May 5, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Well, I have on good authority that buttsechs without drinking means no love.

Radiotherapy May 5, 2012 at 11:09 pm

what do you mean, friend?

Boojum May 5, 2012 at 11:16 pm

What part of the country?

user-of-owls May 5, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Who knew this joint could be supportive or inspirational

Me. Dewey. Radio. Fukui. You want I should continue? It's a beautifully long list. And growing.

Radiotherapy May 5, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Northern Virginia.

Radiotherapy May 5, 2012 at 11:51 pm

As I said my fine feathered friend, I went back and read a great thread from July 29? last year. Hell, you were even cordial with our favorite harpy. I used a trick you and someone mentioned at a 5 May party tonite. I brought a can of Vernor's Ginger Ale and put it on a little ice. Fuckin' 48 hrs. ago I didn't even conceive sobriety was possible. I've got to go to rehab in a few days. ; (
But all you brilliant MFer's will help me get through this.
Does anybody know how to get to on Dewey's OG thread on July 4th or so other than clicking through 400-500 of your Int debate comments?

Biff May 6, 2012 at 12:01 am

I was there, I remember…

user-of-owls May 6, 2012 at 12:29 am

Here's the link, though getting there through Idiot Debate is highly suspect. If it doesn't work, just go to the Last Activity and that's the one. Fucking 48 hours is right, man, 48 hours of living.
http://wonkette.com/448720/mitt-romney-visits-aba

Mumbletypeg May 6, 2012 at 12:31 am

Check your email now. **HUGS**

not that Dewey May 6, 2012 at 8:43 am

Right there with you, buddy. I fell, and then I got up, and owls helped me AGAIN (really above and beyond, that guy). Now my watch is synchronized with yours.

Radiotherapy May 6, 2012 at 1:45 am

Muchos, mi amigo, {{abrasos}}

Radiotherapy May 6, 2012 at 1:46 am

Whut can I say? Tears.

SayItWithWookies May 6, 2012 at 1:54 am

Radio, you and your sober friends make me ashamed to be an awful human being. Not really — but best of success and perseverance to you.

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