dumb pictures

Check Out These Lovely New Heartland Institute Murder Billboards

YesWell look what the end product of tens of millions in donations from rich libertarian energy tycoons and their corporations is at the Heartland Institute: A hilarious series of billboards out on the Interstate saying “Derp derp the Unabomber believed in global warming, derp, splat, are you the Unabomber?” They come in a variety of other mass murderer/dictator flavors, too, because the Heartland Institute is a very serious public policy organization.

This is from the Institute’s own website; just read how giddy they are with their fourth-grader-eating-paste billboard idea about nothing. “Ted Kaczynski, the infamous Unabomber.” “Fidel Castro, a tyrant.” Thanks for the descriptors, really. Who is “Osama bin Laden” though? A global meanypants?

The billboard series features Ted Kaczynski, the infamous Unabomber; Charles Manson, a mass murderer; and Fidel Castro, a tyrant. Other global warming alarmists who may appear on future billboards include Osama bin Laden and James J. Lee (who took hostages inside the headquarters of the Discovery Channel in 2010).

These rogues and villains were chosen because they made public statements about how man-made global warming is a crisis and how mankind must take immediate and drastic actions to stop it.

And so we arrive at the big question:

5. Are you saying anyone who believes in global warming is a mass murderer, tyrant, or terrorist?

Of course not. But we are saying that the ethics of many advocates of global warming are very suspect.

Ooh, ooh, our turn to play this game:

Q: Are you saying that everyone who works for or is affiliated with the Heartland Institute rapes children, drinks their own urine, or fists puppies?

A: Of course not. But we are saying that the ethics of many energy-corporation-sponsored critics of global warming are very suspect.

[Heartland]

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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239 comments

        1. Jimmyone

          I have to blame the dogs, it's the only way to get invited back onto the couch.

    1. Fare la Volpe

      I don't trust artists, but that's because one broke my heart…

      Also, Hitler.

          1. widestanceromance

            Sadly not, but the last time I saw him, he looked to be in the last stage of alcohol poisoning and the last time I heard from him, I found out that was his "one call" from jail. I hung up and figuratively threw the first shovelful of dirt on him.

            Edit: Sorry, folks, just checked my calendar and Overshare Day is next week. My bad.

          2. widestanceromance

            You mean, like, if I was to share that today's constitutional was nearly a yard long, broke into 6 pieces and took 4 flushes, that would be a bad overshare?

            Seriously, thank you and please accept my upfist as appreciation.

          3. tessiee

            Haw, the Scorpio who broke my heart when I was just a lovely young maiden had the nerve to show up at my front door months later. It was one of the high points of my pathetic, dorky life when I calmly shut the door in his face.

    2. Lascauxcaveman

      "You know who else believed in Global Warming?"

      (Um, almost everybody?)

    1. weejee

      But, but, at forty below they are both the same. Those greenie warmer-uppers can't explain that now can they!!1!1

  1. el_donaldo

    Thus proving once again that Al Gore has always been history's greatest monster.

  2. OkieDokieDog

    I wish I had the bucks to put up a billboard in Okhelloma with Jeebus Jim Inhofe:

    I'm still big oil's call girl. You've got my number BP, Chevron, ConocoPhillips, ExxonMobil, and Shell. Love ya! Kisses!!

    1. sullivanst

      Run a rework of the Harold Ford "Call Me" commercial. It can't cost more than a pocketful of nickels to get on the air in OK.

      1. Fare la Volpe

        It can't cost more than a pocketful of nickels

        And a song in your heart!

    2. Lascauxcaveman

      I hope Steven Colbert's SuperPac takes on some worthy projects like that.

    1. sewollef

      And if your position on any issue of global importance can't fit on either a billboard or a bumper sticker…. it ain't worth shit. Amirite?

  3. SheriffRoscoe

    Didn't Kaczynski go to Harvard, or something, too? Connect the fucking dots.

  4. thefrontpage

    THE HEARTLAND INSTITUTE
    PRESS RELEASE
    FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
    MAY 4, 2012

    May 4, 2012 (Washington, D.C.)—Evolution is a lie, abortion is horrible, everyone should own at least 100 guns, including machine guns, homosexuals can be cured, alcohol and tobacco are evil, the death penalty is great, screw the environment, screw the poor, screw the disabled, all illegal immigrants should be put to death, the military is the highest priority in government, and all of us who believe in such things are morons, idiots, psychos, insane, out-of-it, backwards, misguided and just plain ignorant and stupid, noted longtime Heartland Foundation President Mitt Newt Jeb Rand Romsangingbush. "We know we're all insane," Romsangingbush said. "And we know that we're ignorant and stupid, too."

    1. tessiee

      "all illegal immigrants should be put to death"

      Now that Real Amurkins can do the shitty jobs for sub-minimum wages.

  5. SayItWithWookies

    Still not as scary as the billboard with Sarah Palin, Joe Arpaio, Glenn Beck and Steve Doocy saying "We believe global warming is a hoax — do you?"

  6. ifthethunderdontgetya

    From an article about a new bee in the WSJ:

    Unlike many honeybees, urban bees in the Northeastern U.S. have adapted to rising temperatures, which have caused spring—and the first bloom of flowers for pollination—to arrive about 10 days earlier in recent years, Rutgers University researchers said.

    Warmers are everywhere! Even in WSJ.
    ~

    1. SayItWithWookies

      Global warming causing speciation? All that means is that nature is a fuckin' liar.

      1. Generation[redacted]

        "I was surprised that not once did I hear, Yo M-Fer, where's my M-Fing pollen?"
        -BillO

      2. actor212

        They live on human sweat.

        True story. In fact, they had to set up a red velvet rope and employ a bouncer outside Rush Limbaugh's studio.

  7. chascates

    It's apparently too late to halt the high levels of CO2 so I'll look forward in the coming decades to how these people explain climate change.

    Climate fury because God is angry at America's socialism!

    1. Generation[redacted]

      They still haven't explained why they stopped asserting that the climate is not changing, so I wouldn't hold my breath.

      1. tessiee

        They never stopped, because they never said it in the first place. They've ALWAYS been friends with Eurasia.

  8. ChernobylSoup

    Murderous polar bears believe in global warming so much they're dying for their beliefs.

    1. Generation[redacted]

      I'm not saying everyone who believes in global warming will eat your face, I'm just saying would you please pass the fava beans and chianti? (fft fft fft fft fft)

      1. tessiee

        What's the rule for cannibal gourmets?
        White wine with white folks,
        Red wine for the blah folks,
        And for Mariah Cary and Derek Jeter [sp?] a blush or rose'?
        I always forget.

    2. WhatTheHeck

      The minute the right wingers figure out that Polar bears are white, cute and cuddly-looking, is when they might say the climate is changing. Right now they continue to confuse polar bears with California black bears so they don’t give a shit.

  9. CapnFatback

    I've got an idea for the Heartland Institute's billboards from here on out: just put up a picture of the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. Why spend money on pictures of multiple straw men when one will do?

  10. owhatever

    (Pic of a smiling Mitt Romney) I believe the Garden of Eden is in Missouri. Do you?

    1. UnholyMoses

      I believe the Garden of Eden is in Missouri. Do you?

      As someone who lives in the city that is, allegedly, where the GoE was located (Independence, Mo., which is also home of Harry "Give 'Em Hell" Truman) let me say …

      **clears throat**

      Hell fucking no!!

      Well, unless the GoE also had meth labs, an abundance of white trashers (e.g. rednecks who hate country music), and rednecks (who like both kinds of music: country and western; oh, and NASCAR … they really love them some NASCAR).

  11. BZ1

    Eminent scientists Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, Sarah Palin, Dana Rohrabacher also don't believe in global/climate change …

  12. EloquentScience

    OT, but imperative: I'm embarrassed to be opening my computer to a naked Scott Brown on the train, just so that I can keep reading my Wonkette regularly instead of hiding in shame. Could we change that from the top of the web page, please?

  13. Fox n Fiends

    "You know who had multiple wives?" (photos of Bin Laden, Joseph Smith, Newt Gingrich, Ronald Reagan,)

  14. hagajim

    So the message that Heartland is really trying to pass along is that these murderers, tyrants and general all-around assholes are much smarter than anyone at Heartland? Just cause your evil doesn't mean your stupid is the takeaway for me from these.

  15. SheriffRoscoe

    The thing is, does this shit really work? Do the morans being targeted by these billboards actually look upon these things and think "Yeah, I see a definite correlation here"? Because if so, they are wayyyyy more fucking r*tarded than I was giving them credit for. Magnitudes more.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Yes, they do. In fact, I once had my Republican customer at Denny's shout at me about the evils of cremation because that is how the Nazis disposed of dead Jews. It is irrelevant the cremation is used throughout many parts of the rest of the world, and irrelevant that what the Nazis did was simply dispose of bodies in the fastest way they knew how (burn or bury, whichever). What mattered was NAZIS.

      1. chicken_thief

        More than believing Fox or Rush, it boggles my mind how many otherwise normal people believe the horse shit in chain emails.

        1. Fare la Volpe

          They've been trained since birth to never question what they hear from their betters, and to merely accept things as true without a hint of incredulity.

          Skepticism is for non-believers, and they're not about to be called out as a non-believer.

      2. sullivanst

        Did you introduce them to the parallel evils of burial?

        I believe that not only Hitler, but also Stalin buried people. Mao and Pol Pot too.

      3. tessiee

        "It is irrelevant the cremation is used throughout many parts of the rest of the world, and irrelevant that what the Nazis did was simply dispose of bodies"

        There's also the distinction of dead bodies of people who died from miscellaneous causes, vs. dead bodies of people you killed.

    2. actor212

      Welcome to America, my friend! Fresh off the boat, are ye? See that bridge over there, the one that goes to Brooklyn….?

    1. bikerlaureate

      Once upon a time, "Institute" meant something admirable.

      I think these Very Concerned Folk truncated "Institution" at some point, and unfortunately it stuck.

  16. SorosBot

    'Believing' in global warming is like 'believing' that the Earth revolves around the sun, or that the sky is blue; it's a fact, it doesn't matter whether you 'believe' or not it's still true. You either acknowledge the truth or deny it; belief doesn't enter into it, it's still a proven fact.

    1. MissTaken

      The sky *may* be blue, but who's to say that what I think is blue is what Ted Kaczynski thinks is blue?

    2. MosesInvests

      Because the sky is blue, it makes me cry-y-y-y-y-y-y, because the sky is blue-ue-ue-ue-ue….

  17. sharethegrief

    Heartland has it on good faith that the Maldives is a bar in New Jersey.

    1. tessiee

      It's in Newark, to be precise.
      The crackheads and homeless guys just love it; it's like a really gross "Cheers".

  18. ChernobylSoup

    OT but Beastie Boys Adam Yauch is dead at 48. Now Tibet's never going to be free.

    1. ChernobylSoup

      I have a real sad. I didn't even know he was sick. Apparently has been fighting cancer since 2009. RIP.

    2. SorosBot

      Damn that makes me feel old. I thought the stars of our youth were only supposed to die of suicide or ODs, not natural causes.

      1. ChernobylSoup

        Perhaps Mike D will sadly be done in by a pot of Chef-Boyardee and a Wiffleball bat.

  19. Callyson

    Yeah, I know when I have questions about environmental issues I always consult Ted Kaczynski, Charles Manson, and Fidel Castro.

    JFC…

    1. Generation[redacted]

      Who do you think writes all those IPCC reports? Duh, it's so obvious!

  20. Allmighty_Manos

    "These rogues and villains were chosen because they made public statements about how man-made global warming is a crisis and how mankind must take immediate and drastic actions to stop it."

    Wait till they stick Newt's face up there. People will driving off the highway in terror.

    1. JustPixelz

      Mitt too. But they said "still believe" so those flip-floppers have an escape hatch.

  21. Fare la Volpe

    You know who else didn't believe in Global Warming?

    Caligula
    Alexander the Great
    Ivan the Terrible
    Vlad the Impaler
    Satan

    Checkmate, Paultards.

    1. JustPixelz

      Gotta argue with you about Satan. By all accounts, he causes some kind of warming. But don't take my word for it, let's ask Breitbart how his afterlife is going.

    2. chicken_thief

      I applaud your optimistic belief that they know who the first four on the list are. As for Satan, that is who they believe you are with your elitist made up list.

  22. BaldarTFlagass

    These Heartland people don't seem to understand that their Heartland is going to turn into the Sahara and they are going to become latter-day Bedouins and Tuaregs, just without the praying to Mecca part. Have fun, y'all!!

  23. Radiotherapy

    Ted was also a Polish-American mathematics prodigy who went to Harvard, U. of Michigan, was a professor at Berkely who was big into self-sufficiency. Just sayin'.

  24. smitallica

    Ted Kaczynski believes in global warming because he has a Ph.D in a scientific field from Harvard, you fucking ignorant rubes. Fuck you.

  25. sullivanst

    See, I told you we'd reverse-Poe's-lawed the right.

    Once again they deploy "You know who else did xyz" as if it wasn't pure snark.

    1. Generation[redacted]

      You know who else said "You know who else" –dammit! They ruined it!

    2. tessiee

      it usually works the other way around, e.g., "Jeebus/Raygun/whoever did/said/believed [fill in the blank], so you should too". It's called "argument from authority" and it's a well-known logical fallacy [huh huh huh].

    1. nonbeliever7

      Dammit. This is like playing the old Carson routine Carnac the Magnificent.
      Any olds remember "Sis-boom-baaaa"?

      O/T but did you see what my avatar is worth. Somebody's got a little too much spare cash hanging around.

      1. PubOption

        I think Bill Gates bought 'The Scream', but will never admit it. [Insert Windows crash story here].

  26. SheriffRoscoe

    Sometimes I ponder my own descent into misanthropy, and am briefly stricken with fear at the idea that such is a characteristic of the unabomber. But then I take comfort with the reminder that I'm kinda dumb, and can barely change a tire.

    1. Generation[redacted]

      And I don't like to write anything longer than two sentences. So the world is safe.

      1. SheriffRoscoe

        Awww, and there's no whip cream cuz you remembered I'm getting ready for speedo season. MWAH.

  27. Generation[redacted]

    The Heartland Institute: Keeping America Beautiful — with billboards of serial killers!

    1. Mojopo

      Seriously, if this is what they hang in public, what the hell is on their walls at home?

    1. Designer_Rants

      Wouldn't the chairman of BP make a way better "ethically challenged" person to put on the billboard than some other serial killer who didn't even cause as many people to die?

    1. prommie

      The only reason we haven't seen this line is because they haven't thought of it yet.

  28. tessiee

    "James J. Lee (who took hostages inside the headquarters of the Discovery Channel in 2010)"

    Doesn't the Discovery Channel have all that science-y stuff that wingnuts hate? So wouldn't James J. Lee be on their list of *good* guys?

  29. tessiee

    "These rogues and villains were chosen because they made public statements about how man-made global warming is a crisis and how mankind must take immediate and drastic actions to stop it."

    Yeah, because nothing says "rogue and villain" more than trying to take away our right to drink poisoned water, breathe poisoned air, and live on a poisoned planet. Those BASTARDS!!

    1. prommie

      And what is the only animal that "goes rogue?" It is the ELEPHANT! Connect the dots, people! Up, and to the left, up, and to the left. The bullet made a right angle turn in mid-air.

  30. fuflans

    remember earlier when i said:

    so today i think i'm just going to go with posting:

    god we are stupid.

    so, yeah.

  31. prommie

    Are there no mass murderers who believed in lower taxes on the wealthy, weakening environmental laws, and cutting social programs?

    1. Wile E. Quixote

      Well Ted Bundy was a Republican, but he was more of a serial killer than a mass murderer so I'm not sure he fits your criteria.

      University years
      After graduating from high school in 1965 Bundy spent a year at the University of Puget Sound (UPS) before transferring to the University of Washington (UW) in 1966 to study Chinese. In 1967 he became romantically involved with a UW classmate who is identified in Bundy biographies by several pseudonyms, most commonly Stephanie Brooks. In early 1968 he dropped out of college and worked at a series of minimum-wage jobs. He also volunteered at the Seattle office of Nelson Rockefeller's presidential campaign,[34] and in August, attended the 1968 Republican National Convention in Miami as a Rockefeller delegate. Shortly thereafter Brooks ended their relationship and returned to her family home in California, frustrated by what she described as Bundy's immaturity and lack of ambition. Psychiatrist Dorothy Lewis would later pinpoint this crisis as "… probably the pivotal time in his development." Devastated by Brooks' rejection, Bundy traveled to Colorado and then further east, visiting relatives in Arkansas and Philadelphia, and enrolling for one semester at Temple University. It was at this time in early 1969, Rule believes, that Bundy visited the office of birth records in Burlington and confirmed his true parentage.
      Back in Washington in the fall of 1969, he met Elizabeth Kloepfer (identified in Bundy literature as Meg Anders, Beth Archer, or Liz Kendall), a divorcée from Ogden, Utah who worked as a secretary at the University of Washington School of Medicine. Their stormy relationship would continue well past his initial incarceration in Utah in 1976. In mid-1970, now focused and goal-oriented, he re-enrolled at UW, this time as a psychology major. He became an honor student, well-regarded by his professors.[40] In 1971 he took a job at Seattle's Suicide Hotline crisis center. There he met and worked alongside Rule, a former Seattle police officer and aspiring crime writer who would later write one of the definitive Bundy biographies, The Stranger Beside Me. Rule saw nothing disturbing in Bundy's personality at the time, describing him as "kind, solicitous, and empathetic".
      After graduating from UW in 1972, Bundy joined Governor Daniel J. Evans' reelection campaign. Posing as a college student, he shadowed Evans's opponent, former governor Albert Rosellini, recording his stump speeches for analysis by Evans' team. After Evans' reelection he was hired as an assistant to Ross Davis, Chairman of the Washington State Republican Party. Davis thought well of Bundy, describing him as "smart, aggressive … and a believer in the system." In early 1973, despite mediocre Law School Admission Test scores, Bundy was accepted into the law schools of UPS and the University of Utah on the strength of letters of recommendation from Evans, Davis, and several UW psychology professors.
      During a trip to California on Republican Party business in the summer of 1973, Bundy came back into the life of ex-girlfriend Brooks, who marveled at his transformation into a serious, dedicated professional, seemingly on the cusp of a distinguished legal and political career.

  32. tessiee

    *slyly*
    You know… I know something else that Ted Kaczynski thinks.
    He thinks that no one should give me money.
    In fact, he just HATES when people give me money.
    So does Osama Bin Laden, and so does Fidel Castro, and that Discovery Channel guy.
    It makes them have hissy fits.
    Lots of money.

  33. prommie

    I'm sorry, but it must be said, they have gone FULL retard. In the words of the Great Biden, who dwelleth at the right hand of the Obama, weapons grade retard. Sorry, editrix.

  34. teebob2000

    JT Ready didn't believe in global warming either, stupid rightwing motherfuckers.

    1. prommie

      I can just see the scene when the order was given, their leader intoning in a voice of doom: "Release the gibberish."

  35. Doktor StrangeZoom

    This is next to an Interstate Highway, isn't it? You know WHO ELSE liked building high-speed, limited access roadways?

  36. Chet Kincaid

    Really? Do the Republicans, who are in bed with American Nazis and right-wing militias all over the red states, really want to play this game?

  37. Wile E. Quixote

    I'd love to see someone put up a couple of these billboards with Newt Gingrich and Jon Huntsman's face on them.

  38. Chichikovovich

    Well, obviously Kaczynski has been seduced by those millions of dollars in grant money that you get for defending global warming.

  39. Redhead

    You know who else believed in the THEORY of gravity? Hitler. What are you, the next Hitler, you gravity-loving Nazi?

    1. Generation[redacted]

      I'm not saying everyone who believes in gravity is Hitler, I'm just saying HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!HITLER! HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!HITLER! HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!

      HITLER!

  40. mercianomad

    Man. There's a certain level of contempt inherent behind something this logically absurd – contempt, that is, by the makers of such a billboard for their own audience and how naive and incapable of critical thought that audience is. I used to have doubts, but now I'm sure they laugh and laugh at their idiotic constituency behind closed doors.

    I never thought America would get worse than the 80s, but the new millennium has been such a festival of shit culture that I'm now fearful of the next few decades and what kind of crazy and even more stupid they can possibly bring.

    1. Chet Kincaid

      Way to overlook a golden opportunity! Incorporate the Festival Of Shit Culture as a 501(c)(3) and install yourself as Executive Director!

      1. mercianomad

        Ya, I'll make sure to do that after I borrow $20,000 from my parents for the project. Thanks for the tip!

  41. ttommyunger

    This gives you some idea of the contempt they hold for the average American's intelligence.

    1. Generation[redacted]

      Are they underestimating the public's intelligence? They'll never get rich that way!

  42. barto

    The Heartland "Institute" believes that fossil fuels are our future. DO YOU?????

  43. ugodOH

    There are certain branches of libertarians who LOVE Ted Kaczynski. If anyone was anti-Big Government, it was him.

  44. skaboy.net

    So… I think that's makes me a demon spawn, abortion giving, kid recruiter/fucker, destroyer of str8 marriage, black baby adopting devil worshiper. Did I get that right? Ugh.. Bring gay is a LOT of hard work!

  45. lulzmonger

    Hitler used base-ten numerals.

    IF YOU DON'T USE BINARY OR HEXADECIMAL YOU LOVE HITLER.

    QED, sheeple!

  46. Radiotherapy

    I wish for them drink their own urine. The other two, if they did them, I would then make them eat their own shit.

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