Well look what the end product of tens of millions in donations from rich libertarian energy tycoons and their corporations is at the Heartland Institute: A hilarious series of billboards out on the Interstate saying “Derp derp the Unabomber believed in global warming, derp, splat, are you the Unabomber?” They come in a variety of other mass murderer/dictator flavors, too, because the Heartland Institute is a very serious public policy organization.
This is from the Institute’s own website; just read how giddy they are with their fourth-grader-eating-paste billboard idea about nothing. “Ted Kaczynski, the infamous Unabomber.” “Fidel Castro, a tyrant.” Thanks for the descriptors, really. Who is “Osama bin Laden” though? A global meanypants?
The billboard series features Ted Kaczynski, the infamous Unabomber; Charles Manson, a mass murderer; and Fidel Castro, a tyrant. Other global warming alarmists who may appear on future billboards include Osama bin Laden and James J. Lee (who took hostages inside the headquarters of the Discovery Channel in 2010).
These rogues and villains were chosen because they made public statements about how man-made global warming is a crisis and how mankind must take immediate and drastic actions to stop it.
And so we arrive at the big question:
5. Are you saying anyone who believes in global warming is a mass murderer, tyrant, or terrorist?
Of course not. But we are saying that the ethics of many advocates of global warming are very suspect.
Ooh, ooh, our turn to play this game:
Q: Are you saying that everyone who works for or is affiliated with the Heartland Institute rapes children, drinks their own urine, or fists puppies?
A: Of course not. But we are saying that the ethics of many energy-corporation-sponsored critics of global warming are very suspect.




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Billboard Magazine must be furious with this.
This is exactly why I am not a Vegan. Hitler, duh.
That is exactly why I don't trust dog people.
Or those who try to blame their farts on dogs.
I have to blame the dogs, it's the only way to get invited back onto the couch.
My dog once told me that Iif I didn't blame him for the farts, he'd teach me how to lick my balls.
You know who else was a vege– oh, never mind.
That pain in the ass Gandhi.
I don't trust artists, but that's because one broke my heart…
Also, Hitler.
Same here, and a rib or two as I recall.
Jeezus, hun. I hope you cracked his jaw in return.
Sadly not, but the last time I saw him, he looked to be in the last stage of alcohol poisoning and the last time I heard from him, I found out that was his "one call" from jail. I hung up and figuratively threw the first shovelful of dirt on him.
Edit: Sorry, folks, just checked my calendar and Overshare Day is next week. My bad.
I'm tempted to try bull semen, but you know ….
It's an acquired taste.
…So I hear.
"You know who else believed in Global Warming?"
(Um, almost everybody?)
hmm. Suspect…
I like George W's idea to fight global warming, change from Fahrenheit to Celsius
But, but, at forty below they are both the same. Those greenie warmer-uppers can't explain that now can they!!1!1
Forty below isn't a temperature, it's the average Wasilla High School SAT score.
But that would make the winters in Minnesota much warmer!
I'd be amazed if he could even pronounce Fahrenheit or Celsius.
Thus proving once again that Al Gore has always been history's greatest monster.
Well, he did fuck up the '00 election.
He's also fat, thereby proving all his arguments invalid.
and lives in a house
I thought it's Jimmy Carter ?
I wish I had the bucks to put up a billboard in Okhelloma with Jeebus Jim Inhofe:
I'm still big oil's call girl. You've got my number BP, Chevron, ConocoPhillips, ExxonMobil, and Shell. Love ya! Kisses!!
Run a rework of the Harold Ford "Call Me" commercial. It can't cost more than a pocketful of nickels to get on the air in OK.
It can't cost more than a pocketful of nickels
And a song in your heart!
I hope Steven Colbert's SuperPac takes on some worthy projects like that.
Fidel Casto and Adolf Hitler also believe in Jesus. Do YOU?
Heck, I think EVERY question in science should be decided by billboards.
And if your position on any issue of global importance can't fit on either a billboard or a bumper sticker…. it ain't worth shit. Amirite?
We don't need no experimenification!
Didn't Kaczynski go to Harvard, or something, too? Connect the fucking dots.
OBAMAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!1!1
THE HEARTLAND INSTITUTE
PRESS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
MAY 4, 2012
May 4, 2012 (Washington, D.C.)—Evolution is a lie, abortion is horrible, everyone should own at least 100 guns, including machine guns, homosexuals can be cured, alcohol and tobacco are evil, the death penalty is great, screw the environment, screw the poor, screw the disabled, all illegal immigrants should be put to death, the military is the highest priority in government, and all of us who believe in such things are morons, idiots, psychos, insane, out-of-it, backwards, misguided and just plain ignorant and stupid, noted longtime Heartland Foundation President Mitt Newt Jeb Rand Romsangingbush. "We know we're all insane," Romsangingbush said. "And we know that we're ignorant and stupid, too."
"all illegal immigrants should be put to death"
Now that Real Amurkins can do the shitty jobs for sub-minimum wages.
"Oh, I'm in Einsatzgruppe III sponsored by wal*mart"
Still not as scary as the billboard with Sarah Palin, Joe Arpaio, Glenn Beck and Steve Doocy saying "We believe global warming is a hoax — do you?"
"And that Jesus rode dinosaurs."
Billboard suggestion:
"I still Believe in Christianity. Do You?"
–Adolph Hitler
"I hated trade unions. Do you?"
– Adolph Hitler
From an article about a new bee in the WSJ:
Unlike many honeybees, urban bees in the Northeastern U.S. have adapted to rising temperatures, which have caused spring—and the first bloom of flowers for pollination—to arrive about 10 days earlier in recent years, Rutgers University researchers said.
Warmers are everywhere! Even in WSJ.
~
Global warming causing speciation? All that means is that nature is a fuckin' liar.
Urban bees are the blah ones, right?
They're wearing tiny yellow and black striped hoodies.
Awwww. I for one welcome our tiny yellow and black striped overlords.
"I was surprised that not once did I hear, Yo M-Fer, where's my M-Fing pollen?"
-BillO
They live on human sweat.
True story. In fact, they had to set up a red velvet rope and employ a bouncer outside Rush Limbaugh's studio.
It's apparently too late to halt the high levels of CO2 so I'll look forward in the coming decades to how these people explain climate change.
Climate fury because God is angry at America's socialism!
They still haven't explained why they stopped asserting that the climate is not changing, so I wouldn't hold my breath.
Well, that would lower CO2 emissions, but we sort of like having you around and it wouldn't help THAT much.
They never stopped, because they never said it in the first place. They've ALWAYS been friends with Eurasia.
Murderous polar bears believe in global warming so much they're dying for their beliefs.
I'm not saying everyone who believes in global warming will eat your face, I'm just saying would you please pass the fava beans and chianti? (fft fft fft fft fft)
What's the rule for cannibal gourmets?
White wine with white folks,
Red wine for the blah folks,
And for Mariah Cary and Derek Jeter [sp?] a blush or rose'?
I always forget.
You can relax the rules for human, or do what I do: champagne!
Champagne goes with everything.
$: – 9
The minute the right wingers figure out that Polar bears are white, cute and cuddly-looking, is when they might say the climate is changing. Right now they continue to confuse polar bears with California black bears so they don’t give a shit.
Maybe if Mama Grizzlys were endangered?
I've got an idea for the Heartland Institute's billboards from here on out: just put up a picture of the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. Why spend money on pictures of multiple straw men when one will do?
How about a little Fire, scarecrow?
~
How about a little COFFEE, Scarecrow?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBz96kxl4Hg
You know who lived in the heartland?
Ted Kaczynski! Do you?
Al Gore is fat. DUH.
(Pic of a smiling Mitt Romney) I believe the Garden of Eden is in Missouri. Do you?
As someone who lives in the city that is, allegedly, where the GoE was located (Independence, Mo., which is also home of Harry "Give 'Em Hell" Truman) let me say …
**clears throat**
Hell fucking no!!
Well, unless the GoE also had meth labs, an abundance of white trashers (e.g. rednecks who hate country music), and rednecks (who like both kinds of music: country and western; oh, and NASCAR … they really love them some NASCAR).
The Roman Empire also had running water. DO YOU???
Hopefully with a bit less lead in zpswwef..r230-ggh
Only when I send the young'ins to th' well. Otherwise, I gots walking water.
Eminent scientists Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, Sarah Palin, Dana Rohrabacher also don't believe in global/climate change …
and that's good enough for me
OT, but imperative: I'm embarrassed to be opening my computer to a naked Scott Brown on the train, just so that I can keep reading my Wonkette regularly instead of hiding in shame. Could we change that from the top of the web page, please?
Or, you could embrace your inner Wonkette.
If the people around you don't like that, find a cooler train.
Sigh. If only I could find that cooler train…
Just sit with a bunch of republicants. They didn't mind his nudity.
Chill. This will soon be replaced by a naked Ms. Warren.
"You know who had multiple wives?" (photos of Bin Laden, Joseph Smith, Newt Gingrich, Ronald Reagan,)
RUSH LIBEL!!!
So the message that Heartland is really trying to pass along is that these murderers, tyrants and general all-around assholes are much smarter than anyone at Heartland? Just cause your evil doesn't mean your stupid is the takeaway for me from these.
Ted Bundy was a Republican. Do the math, sheeple!
So are 80% of most serial killers. QED.
This level of stupid drains my snark-juice sac to empty.
And makes your ears sad.
The thing is, does this shit really work? Do the morans being targeted by these billboards actually look upon these things and think "Yeah, I see a definite correlation here"? Because if so, they are wayyyyy more fucking r*tarded than I was giving them credit for. Magnitudes more.
Yes, they do. In fact, I once had my Republican customer at Denny's shout at me about the evils of cremation because that is how the Nazis disposed of dead Jews. It is irrelevant the cremation is used throughout many parts of the rest of the world, and irrelevant that what the Nazis did was simply dispose of bodies in the fastest way they knew how (burn or bury, whichever). What mattered was NAZIS.
More than believing Fox or Rush, it boggles my mind how many otherwise normal people believe the horse shit in chain emails.
They've been trained since birth to never question what they hear from their betters, and to merely accept things as true without a hint of incredulity.
Skepticism is for non-believers, and they're not about to be called out as a non-believer.
Did you introduce them to the parallel evils of burial?
I believe that not only Hitler, but also Stalin buried people. Mao and Pol Pot too.
"It is irrelevant the cremation is used throughout many parts of the rest of the world, and irrelevant that what the Nazis did was simply dispose of bodies"
There's also the distinction of dead bodies of people who died from miscellaneous causes, vs. dead bodies of people you killed.
Welcome to America, my friend! Fresh off the boat, are ye? See that bridge over there, the one that goes to Brooklyn….?
They do. And they are.
The Heartland Institute: Being Ass hats since 1986
Once upon a time, "Institute" meant something admirable.
I think these Very Concerned Folk truncated "Institution" at some point, and unfortunately it stuck.
This is a whole new species of stupid.
'Believing' in global warming is like 'believing' that the Earth revolves around the sun, or that the sky is blue; it's a fact, it doesn't matter whether you 'believe' or not it's still true. You either acknowledge the truth or deny it; belief doesn't enter into it, it's still a proven fact.
The sky *may* be blue, but who's to say that what I think is blue is what Ted Kaczynski thinks is blue?
And exactly what do you mean by a "fact"?
And what is blue, really?
And what exactly is a dream?
[obscure pink floyd ref]
and what exactly is a joke?
[for syd]
Because the sky is blue, it makes me cry-y-y-y-y-y-y, because the sky is blue-ue-ue-ue-ue….
Daba-dee daba-die?
Because stupid people run the country, it makes me cry-y-y-y-y-yy…
Heartland has it on good faith that the Maldives is a bar in New Jersey.
It's in Newark, to be precise.
The crackheads and homeless guys just love it; it's like a really gross "Cheers".
OT but Beastie Boys Adam Yauch is dead at 48. Now Tibet's never going to be free.
RICHARD GERE LIBEL!
The Unabomber loved White People
Do You?
FUUUCK!
I have a real sad. I didn't even know he was sick. Apparently has been fighting cancer since 2009. RIP.
Damn that makes me feel old. I thought the stars of our youth were only supposed to die of suicide or ODs, not natural causes.
Perhaps Mike D will sadly be done in by a pot of Chef-Boyardee and a Wiffleball bat.
"Who dies in their own vomit these days, Eddie?"
Patsy Stone
"They never found out whose vomit he choked on, did they?"
"It's not like you can dust for vomit."
Yeah, I know when I have questions about environmental issues I always consult Ted Kaczynski, Charles Manson, and Fidel Castro.
JFC…
Who do you think writes all those IPCC reports? Duh, it's so obvious!
Invisible Purple Country Club?
"These rogues and villains were chosen because they made public statements about how man-made global warming is a crisis and how mankind must take immediate and drastic actions to stop it."
Wait till they stick Newt's face up there. People will driving off the highway in terror.
Mitt too. But they said "still believe" so those flip-floppers have an escape hatch.
You know who else didn't believe in Global Warming?
Caligula
Alexander the Great
Ivan the Terrible
Vlad the Impaler
Satan
Checkmate, Paultards.
Gotta argue with you about Satan. By all accounts, he causes some kind of warming. But don't take my word for it, let's ask Breitbart how his afterlife is going.
Also, Uncle Louie — but I have to admit, he really is kind of a dumb-ass.
I applaud your optimistic belief that they know who the first four on the list are. As for Satan, that is who they believe you are with your elitist made up list.
Ummm …. actually ….
These Heartland people don't seem to understand that their Heartland is going to turn into the Sahara and they are going to become latter-day Bedouins and Tuaregs, just without the praying to Mecca part. Have fun, y'all!!
HA, HA, fryover states. Oh, wait, I live on a coast. . .
They will both ride and smoke Camels?
Kaczynski has also been known to wear a hoodie. I'm just sayin'.
yeah, but did he ate Skittles?
Doesn't matter, since Ted clearly was gesturing to or around his waistband. Stand your ground.
Ted was also a Polish-American mathematics prodigy who went to Harvard, U. of Michigan, was a professor at Berkely who was big into self-sufficiency. Just sayin'.
Ted Kaczynski believes in global warming because he has a Ph.D in a scientific field from Harvard, you fucking ignorant rubes. Fuck you.
See, I told you we'd reverse-Poe's-lawed the right.
Once again they deploy "You know who else did xyz" as if it wasn't pure snark.
You know who else said "You know who else" –dammit! They ruined it!
Not really, given how it's supposed to work ;)
Hitler?
FIRST!!1!
it usually works the other way around, e.g., "Jeebus/Raygun/whoever did/said/believed [fill in the blank], so you should too". It's called "argument from authority" and it's a well-known logical fallacy [huh huh huh].
Karl Marx believed in logic. Do you?
That makes Gerbils terrorist?
Dammit. This is like playing the old Carson routine Carnac the Magnificent.
Any olds remember "Sis-boom-baaaa"?
O/T but did you see what my avatar is worth. Somebody's got a little too much spare cash hanging around.
Tom Ashbrook said "somebody's loaded" offhandedly today during his show.
I think Bill Gates bought 'The Scream', but will never admit it. [Insert Windows crash story here].
I was thinking that walmartian gal with the museum in Arkansas.
Sometimes I ponder my own descent into misanthropy, and am briefly stricken with fear at the idea that such is a characteristic of the unabomber. But then I take comfort with the reminder that I'm kinda dumb, and can barely change a tire.
And I don't like to write anything longer than two sentences. So the world is safe.
There, there, darling. *hands you a daiquiri*
Awww, and there's no whip cream cuz you remembered I'm getting ready for speedo season. MWAH.
The Heartland Institute: Keeping America Beautiful — with billboards of serial killers!
Seriously, if this is what they hang in public, what the hell is on their walls at home?
"Dead Fetus Still Life" by Thomas Kinkade
They must read wonkette
you know who else believed in global warming…
Anybody with a positive IQ?
David Koch, but he doesn't give a fuck?
tide goes in, tide goes out. who can explain it?
Sea level raise 1 to 6 feet by the end of the century, Never a miscommunication.
But we are saying that the ethics of many advocates of global warming are very suspect.
Sure hope the chairman of BP don't find out about this ad campaign…
Wouldn't the chairman of BP make a way better "ethically challenged" person to put on the billboard than some other serial killer who didn't even cause as many people to die?
Benito Mussolini believed in public transit. Do you?
The only reason we haven't seen this line is because they haven't thought of it yet.
Also because they can't spell Mussolini.
Hitler believed in highways. Do you?
JT Ready believed in stronger immigration laws. Do you?
As an admirer of the Milan train station I will just have to own my Fascism.
"James J. Lee (who took hostages inside the headquarters of the Discovery Channel in 2010)"
Doesn't the Discovery Channel have all that science-y stuff that wingnuts hate? So wouldn't James J. Lee be on their list of *good* guys?
They also produce all them old timey Jesus-y programs at the holidays.
Wow, the wingnuts must be furious!
Well, it is a day, so yeah.
"These rogues and villains were chosen because they made public statements about how man-made global warming is a crisis and how mankind must take immediate and drastic actions to stop it."
Yeah, because nothing says "rogue and villain" more than trying to take away our right to drink poisoned water, breathe poisoned air, and live on a poisoned planet. Those BASTARDS!!
That was their real crime, wasn't it?
And what is the only animal that "goes rogue?" It is the ELEPHANT! Connect the dots, people! Up, and to the left, up, and to the left. The bullet made a right angle turn in mid-air.
remember earlier when i said:
so today i think i'm just going to go with posting:
god we are stupid.
so, yeah.
Are there no mass murderers who believed in lower taxes on the wealthy, weakening environmental laws, and cutting social programs?
Not the *really cool* ones.
They may be psychopathic killers but they're not idiots.
Well Ted Bundy was a Republican, but he was more of a serial killer than a mass murderer so I'm not sure he fits your criteria.
So, Brooks finally came to her senses and realized she almost lost a Great Catch, huh?
*slyly*
You know… I know something else that Ted Kaczynski thinks.
He thinks that no one should give me money.
In fact, he just HATES when people give me money.
So does Osama Bin Laden, and so does Fidel Castro, and that Discovery Channel guy.
It makes them have hissy fits.
Lots of money.
I'm sorry, but it must be said, they have gone FULL retard. In the words of the Great Biden, who dwelleth at the right hand of the Obama, weapons grade retard. Sorry, editrix.
There's simply no other way to look at it.
The 9/11 hijackers believed they'd get a heavenly reward…Do YOU?
Win.
JT Ready didn't believe in global warming either, stupid rightwing motherfuckers.
They have deployed the argumentum ad tardum.
I can just see the scene when the order was given, their leader intoning in a voice of doom: "Release the gibberish."
TED BUNDY is a registered Republican. Do You?
This is next to an Interstate Highway, isn't it? You know WHO ELSE liked building high-speed, limited access roadways?
The Vogons?
You're a hoopy frood, but Towel Day isn't until the end of the month.
Wow. I did not sass towel day.
That Commie Eisenhower?
John James Autobahn?
The Romans?
Really? Do the Republicans, who are in bed with American Nazis and right-wing militias all over the red states, really want to play this game?
Predictive reasoning is not their strong suit. In fact, they have a void.
I fist puppies and I vote!
OK, I'll be the first to say it:
Oh, for fucks sake.
The insurance industry believes that global warming is real.
Oh my god…the insurance industry is the Unabomber!
I'd love to see someone put up a couple of these billboards with Newt Gingrich and Jon Huntsman's face on them.
Well, obviously Kaczynski has been seduced by those millions of dollars in grant money that you get for defending global warming.
You know who else believed in the THEORY of gravity? Hitler. What are you, the next Hitler, you gravity-loving Nazi?
I'm not saying everyone who believes in gravity is Hitler, I'm just saying HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!HITLER! HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!HITLER! HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!
HITLER!
Send it up
Watch it rise
See it fall
Gravity's Angel
Man. There's a certain level of contempt inherent behind something this logically absurd – contempt, that is, by the makers of such a billboard for their own audience and how naive and incapable of critical thought that audience is. I used to have doubts, but now I'm sure they laugh and laugh at their idiotic constituency behind closed doors.
I never thought America would get worse than the 80s, but the new millennium has been such a festival of shit culture that I'm now fearful of the next few decades and what kind of crazy and even more stupid they can possibly bring.
Way to overlook a golden opportunity! Incorporate the Festival Of Shit Culture as a 501(c)(3) and install yourself as Executive Director!
Ya, I'll make sure to do that after I borrow $20,000 from my parents for the project. Thanks for the tip!
This gives you some idea of the contempt they hold for the average American's intelligence.
Some of the COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED contempt they hold.
TOTALLY!
Are they underestimating the public's intelligence? They'll never get rich that way!
First, they get elected, THEN they get rich! USA,USA!
The Heartland "Institute" believes that fossil fuels are our future. DO YOU?????
Have you ever been on their website? They is stupid.
John Brown opposed slavery.
Do you?
Josef Stalin rejected Pseudoscience. Do YOU?
107.5% of scientists know that Global warming doesn't exist.
You know who else believes in global warming?
Yet using Eric Rudolph and Adolf Hitler as examples of politically active Christians is somehow unfair.
There are certain branches of libertarians who LOVE Ted Kaczynski. If anyone was anti-Big Government, it was him.
So… I think that's makes me a demon spawn, abortion giving, kid recruiter/fucker, destroyer of str8 marriage, black baby adopting devil worshiper. Did I get that right? Ugh.. Bring gay is a LOT of hard work!
BRILLIANT! Pass the popcorn!!
But Ira Einhorn should also be on that list of murderous eco-nutballs licking High Priest Al Gore's boots.
Who is Ira Einhorn? One of the founders of Earth Day.
What was his crime? He murdered his girlfriend in 1977 and stored her rotting corpse in his closet.
Ira is currently rotting in a very eco-friendly jail cell.
Whenever you drink your own urine, God fists a puppy.
The Heartland Institute: We Put The Heart In Heartless.
Hitler used base-ten numerals.
IF YOU DON'T USE BINARY OR HEXADECIMAL YOU LOVE HITLER.
QED, sheeple!
“Ted Kaczynski liked chocolate. Do you?"
These are my billboards:
http://freewayblogger.blogspot.com/2012/05/wake-u…
They reach a lot more people than the Heartland Institute and cost about ten bucks. Total.
You had me at fisting, but lost me at puppies.
I wish for them drink their own urine. The other two, if they did them, I would then make them eat their own shit.
Not to be *too* nit-picky, but they drink *each other's* urine.
You sure your not talking about the Catholic church?
Then I would make them shit their shit.
If that's your Overshare, keep 'em comin'. They made Overshare Day for people who are bad at it.
Haw, the Scorpio who broke my heart when I was just a lovely young maiden had the nerve to show up at my front door months later. It was one of the high points of my pathetic, dorky life when I calmly shut the door in his face.
You mean, like, if I was to share that today's constitutional was nearly a yard long, broke into 6 pieces and took 4 flushes, that would be a bad overshare?
Seriously, thank you and please accept my upfist as appreciation.
Whoa! Slow clap.
I bow to your superior TMI.
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