DUMB PICTURES  12:47 pm May 4, 2012

Check Out These Lovely New Heartland Institute Murder Billboards

by Jim Newell

YesWell look what the end product of tens of millions in donations from rich libertarian energy tycoons and their corporations is at the Heartland Institute: A hilarious series of billboards out on the Interstate saying “Derp derp the Unabomber believed in global warming, derp, splat, are you the Unabomber?” They come in a variety of other mass murderer/dictator flavors, too, because the Heartland Institute is a very serious public policy organization.

This is from the Institute’s own website; just read how giddy they are with their fourth-grader-eating-paste billboard idea about nothing. “Ted Kaczynski, the infamous Unabomber.” “Fidel Castro, a tyrant.” Thanks for the descriptors, really. Who is “Osama bin Laden” though? A global meanypants?

The billboard series features Ted Kaczynski, the infamous Unabomber; Charles Manson, a mass murderer; and Fidel Castro, a tyrant. Other global warming alarmists who may appear on future billboards include Osama bin Laden and James J. Lee (who took hostages inside the headquarters of the Discovery Channel in 2010).

These rogues and villains were chosen because they made public statements about how man-made global warming is a crisis and how mankind must take immediate and drastic actions to stop it.

And so we arrive at the big question:

5. Are you saying anyone who believes in global warming is a mass murderer, tyrant, or terrorist?

Of course not. But we are saying that the ethics of many advocates of global warming are very suspect.

Ooh, ooh, our turn to play this game:

Q: Are you saying that everyone who works for or is affiliated with the Heartland Institute rapes children, drinks their own urine, or fists puppies?

A: Of course not. But we are saying that the ethics of many energy-corporation-sponsored critics of global warming are very suspect.

[Heartland]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 239 comments }

nounverb911 May 4, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Billboard Magazine must be furious with this.

Schmannnity May 4, 2012 at 12:50 pm

This is exactly why I am not a Vegan. Hitler, duh.

boobookitteh May 4, 2012 at 12:57 pm

That is exactly why I don't trust dog people.

weejee May 4, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Or those who try to blame their farts on dogs.

Jimmyone May 4, 2012 at 1:43 pm

I have to blame the dogs, it's the only way to get invited back onto the couch.

actor212 May 4, 2012 at 1:57 pm

My dog once told me that Iif I didn't blame him for the farts, he'd teach me how to lick my balls.

jaytingle May 4, 2012 at 1:02 pm

You know who else was a vege– oh, never mind.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 2:47 pm

That pain in the ass Gandhi.

Fare la Volpe May 4, 2012 at 1:03 pm

I don't trust artists, but that's because one broke my heart…

Also, Hitler.

widestanceromance May 4, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Same here, and a rib or two as I recall.

Fare la Volpe May 4, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Jeezus, hun. I hope you cracked his jaw in return.

widestanceromance May 4, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Sadly not, but the last time I saw him, he looked to be in the last stage of alcohol poisoning and the last time I heard from him, I found out that was his "one call" from jail. I hung up and figuratively threw the first shovelful of dirt on him.

Edit: Sorry, folks, just checked my calendar and Overshare Day is next week. My bad.

el_donaldo May 4, 2012 at 1:08 pm

I'm tempted to try bull semen, but you know ….

Fare la Volpe May 4, 2012 at 1:19 pm

It's an acquired taste.

…So I hear.

Lascauxcaveman May 4, 2012 at 1:32 pm

"You know who else believed in Global Warming?"

(Um, almost everybody?)

Designer_Rants May 4, 2012 at 2:22 pm

hmm. Suspect…

Barb May 4, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I like George W's idea to fight global warming, change from Fahrenheit to Celsius

weejee May 4, 2012 at 1:04 pm

But, but, at forty below they are both the same. Those greenie warmer-uppers can't explain that now can they!!1!1

Barb May 4, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Forty below isn't a temperature, it's the average Wasilla High School SAT score.

sullivanst May 4, 2012 at 1:19 pm

But that would make the winters in Minnesota much warmer!

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 2:50 pm

I'd be amazed if he could even pronounce Fahrenheit or Celsius.

el_donaldo May 4, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Thus proving once again that Al Gore has always been history's greatest monster.

Radiotherapy May 4, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Well, he did fuck up the '00 election.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 1:16 pm

He's also fat, thereby proving all his arguments invalid.

Sir_Fartz_Alot May 4, 2012 at 2:14 pm

and lives in a house

arihaya May 4, 2012 at 2:22 pm

I thought it's Jimmy Carter ?

OkieDokieDog May 4, 2012 at 12:53 pm

I wish I had the bucks to put up a billboard in Okhelloma with Jeebus Jim Inhofe:

I'm still big oil's call girl. You've got my number BP, Chevron, ConocoPhillips, ExxonMobil, and Shell. Love ya! Kisses!!

sullivanst May 4, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Run a rework of the Harold Ford "Call Me" commercial. It can't cost more than a pocketful of nickels to get on the air in OK.

Fare la Volpe May 4, 2012 at 1:39 pm

It can't cost more than a pocketful of nickels

And a song in your heart!

Lascauxcaveman May 4, 2012 at 1:34 pm

I hope Steven Colbert's SuperPac takes on some worthy projects like that.

noodlesalad May 4, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Fidel Casto and Adolf Hitler also believe in Jesus. Do YOU?

SoBeach May 4, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Heck, I think EVERY question in science should be decided by billboards.

sewollef May 4, 2012 at 1:07 pm

And if your position on any issue of global importance can't fit on either a billboard or a bumper sticker…. it ain't worth shit. Amirite?

starfanglednut May 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm

We don't need no experimenification!

SheriffRoscoe May 4, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Didn't Kaczynski go to Harvard, or something, too? Connect the fucking dots.

Designer_Rants May 4, 2012 at 2:26 pm

OBAMAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!1!1

thefrontpage May 4, 2012 at 12:55 pm

THE HEARTLAND INSTITUTE
PRESS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
MAY 4, 2012

May 4, 2012 (Washington, D.C.)—Evolution is a lie, abortion is horrible, everyone should own at least 100 guns, including machine guns, homosexuals can be cured, alcohol and tobacco are evil, the death penalty is great, screw the environment, screw the poor, screw the disabled, all illegal immigrants should be put to death, the military is the highest priority in government, and all of us who believe in such things are morons, idiots, psychos, insane, out-of-it, backwards, misguided and just plain ignorant and stupid, noted longtime Heartland Foundation President Mitt Newt Jeb Rand Romsangingbush. "We know we're all insane," Romsangingbush said. "And we know that we're ignorant and stupid, too."

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 1:18 pm

"all illegal immigrants should be put to death"

Now that Real Amurkins can do the shitty jobs for sub-minimum wages.

Fukui-sanYesOta May 4, 2012 at 7:41 pm

"Oh, I'm in Einsatzgruppe III sponsored by wal*mart"

SayItWithWookies May 4, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Still not as scary as the billboard with Sarah Palin, Joe Arpaio, Glenn Beck and Steve Doocy saying "We believe global warming is a hoax — do you?"

Boojum May 4, 2012 at 1:09 pm

"And that Jesus rode dinosaurs."

Chill-A-Sketch May 4, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Billboard suggestion:

"I still Believe in Christianity. Do You?"
–Adolph Hitler

Naked_Bunny May 4, 2012 at 4:43 pm

"I hated trade unions. Do you?"
– Adolph Hitler

ifthethunderdontgetya May 4, 2012 at 12:56 pm

From an article about a new bee in the WSJ:

Unlike many honeybees, urban bees in the Northeastern U.S. have adapted to rising temperatures, which have caused spring—and the first bloom of flowers for pollination—to arrive about 10 days earlier in recent years, Rutgers University researchers said.

Warmers are everywhere! Even in WSJ.
~

SayItWithWookies May 4, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Global warming causing speciation? All that means is that nature is a fuckin' liar.

Boojum May 4, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Urban bees are the blah ones, right?

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 1:19 pm

They're wearing tiny yellow and black striped hoodies.

starfanglednut May 4, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Awwww. I for one welcome our tiny yellow and black striped overlords.

Generation[redacted] May 4, 2012 at 1:20 pm

"I was surprised that not once did I hear, Yo M-Fer, where's my M-Fing pollen?"
-BillO

actor212 May 4, 2012 at 1:33 pm

They live on human sweat.

True story. In fact, they had to set up a red velvet rope and employ a bouncer outside Rush Limbaugh's studio.

chascates May 4, 2012 at 12:56 pm

It's apparently too late to halt the high levels of CO2 so I'll look forward in the coming decades to how these people explain climate change.

Climate fury because God is angry at America's socialism!

Generation[redacted] May 4, 2012 at 1:20 pm

They still haven't explained why they stopped asserting that the climate is not changing, so I wouldn't hold my breath.

actor212 May 4, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Well, that would lower CO2 emissions, but we sort of like having you around and it wouldn't help THAT much.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 2:53 pm

They never stopped, because they never said it in the first place. They've ALWAYS been friends with Eurasia.

ChernobylSoup May 4, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Murderous polar bears believe in global warming so much they're dying for their beliefs.

Generation[redacted] May 4, 2012 at 12:59 pm

I'm not saying everyone who believes in global warming will eat your face, I'm just saying would you please pass the fava beans and chianti? (fft fft fft fft fft)

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 1:22 pm

What's the rule for cannibal gourmets?
White wine with white folks,
Red wine for the blah folks,
And for Mariah Cary and Derek Jeter [sp?] a blush or rose'?
I always forget.

actor212 May 4, 2012 at 1:47 pm

You can relax the rules for human, or do what I do: champagne!

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Champagne goes with everything.
$: – 9

WhatTheHeck May 4, 2012 at 1:21 pm

The minute the right wingers figure out that Polar bears are white, cute and cuddly-looking, is when they might say the climate is changing. Right now they continue to confuse polar bears with California black bears so they don’t give a shit.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Maybe if Mama Grizzlys were endangered?

CapnFatback May 4, 2012 at 12:57 pm

I've got an idea for the Heartland Institute's billboards from here on out: just put up a picture of the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. Why spend money on pictures of multiple straw men when one will do?

ifthethunderdontgetya May 4, 2012 at 1:01 pm

How about a little Fire, scarecrow?
~

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 2:57 pm

How about a little COFFEE, Scarecrow?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBz96kxl4Hg

SexySmurf May 4, 2012 at 12:57 pm

You know who lived in the heartland?

Ted Kaczynski! Do you?

OurHoboSenator May 4, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Al Gore is fat. DUH.

owhatever May 4, 2012 at 12:58 pm

(Pic of a smiling Mitt Romney) I believe the Garden of Eden is in Missouri. Do you?

UnholyMoses May 4, 2012 at 2:37 pm

I believe the Garden of Eden is in Missouri. Do you?

As someone who lives in the city that is, allegedly, where the GoE was located (Independence, Mo., which is also home of Harry "Give 'Em Hell" Truman) let me say …

**clears throat**

Hell fucking no!!

Well, unless the GoE also had meth labs, an abundance of white trashers (e.g. rednecks who hate country music), and rednecks (who like both kinds of music: country and western; oh, and NASCAR … they really love them some NASCAR).

CommieLibunatic May 4, 2012 at 12:59 pm

The Roman Empire also had running water. DO YOU???

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Hopefully with a bit less lead in zpswwef..r230-ggh

actor212 May 4, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Only when I send the young'ins to th' well. Otherwise, I gots walking water.

BZ1 May 4, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Eminent scientists Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, Sarah Palin, Dana Rohrabacher also don't believe in global/climate change …

Sir_Fartz_Alot May 4, 2012 at 2:18 pm

and that's good enough for me

EloquentScience May 4, 2012 at 12:59 pm

OT, but imperative: I'm embarrassed to be opening my computer to a naked Scott Brown on the train, just so that I can keep reading my Wonkette regularly instead of hiding in shame. Could we change that from the top of the web page, please?

Boojum May 4, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Or, you could embrace your inner Wonkette.

Fare la Volpe May 4, 2012 at 1:44 pm

If the people around you don't like that, find a cooler train.

EloquentScience May 5, 2012 at 3:10 am

Sigh. If only I could find that cooler train…

Exhausted66 May 4, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Just sit with a bunch of republicants. They didn't mind his nudity.

Arkoday May 4, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Chill. This will soon be replaced by a naked Ms. Warren.

Fox n Fiends May 4, 2012 at 1:00 pm

"You know who had multiple wives?" (photos of Bin Laden, Joseph Smith, Newt Gingrich, Ronald Reagan,)

chicken_thief May 4, 2012 at 1:45 pm

RUSH LIBEL!!!

hagajim May 4, 2012 at 1:00 pm

So the message that Heartland is really trying to pass along is that these murderers, tyrants and general all-around assholes are much smarter than anyone at Heartland? Just cause your evil doesn't mean your stupid is the takeaway for me from these.

boobookitteh May 4, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Ted Bundy was a Republican. Do the math, sheeple!

elviouslyqueer May 4, 2012 at 1:13 pm
Arkoday May 4, 2012 at 1:02 pm

This level of stupid drains my snark-juice sac to empty.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 1:25 pm

And makes your ears sad.

SheriffRoscoe May 4, 2012 at 1:02 pm

The thing is, does this shit really work? Do the morans being targeted by these billboards actually look upon these things and think "Yeah, I see a definite correlation here"? Because if so, they are wayyyyy more fucking r*tarded than I was giving them credit for. Magnitudes more.

anniegetyerfun May 4, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Yes, they do. In fact, I once had my Republican customer at Denny's shout at me about the evils of cremation because that is how the Nazis disposed of dead Jews. It is irrelevant the cremation is used throughout many parts of the rest of the world, and irrelevant that what the Nazis did was simply dispose of bodies in the fastest way they knew how (burn or bury, whichever). What mattered was NAZIS.

chicken_thief May 4, 2012 at 1:47 pm

More than believing Fox or Rush, it boggles my mind how many otherwise normal people believe the horse shit in chain emails.

Fare la Volpe May 5, 2012 at 7:16 am

They've been trained since birth to never question what they hear from their betters, and to merely accept things as true without a hint of incredulity.

Skepticism is for non-believers, and they're not about to be called out as a non-believer.

sullivanst May 4, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Did you introduce them to the parallel evils of burial?

I believe that not only Hitler, but also Stalin buried people. Mao and Pol Pot too.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 3:13 pm

"It is irrelevant the cremation is used throughout many parts of the rest of the world, and irrelevant that what the Nazis did was simply dispose of bodies"

There's also the distinction of dead bodies of people who died from miscellaneous causes, vs. dead bodies of people you killed.

actor212 May 4, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Welcome to America, my friend! Fresh off the boat, are ye? See that bridge over there, the one that goes to Brooklyn….?

gurukalehuru May 4, 2012 at 2:08 pm

They do. And they are.

Baconzgood May 4, 2012 at 1:02 pm

The Heartland Institute: Being Ass hats since 1986

bikerlaureate May 4, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Once upon a time, "Institute" meant something admirable.

I think these Very Concerned Folk truncated "Institution" at some point, and unfortunately it stuck.

OneYieldRegular May 4, 2012 at 1:02 pm

This is a whole new species of stupid.

SorosBot May 4, 2012 at 1:03 pm

'Believing' in global warming is like 'believing' that the Earth revolves around the sun, or that the sky is blue; it's a fact, it doesn't matter whether you 'believe' or not it's still true. You either acknowledge the truth or deny it; belief doesn't enter into it, it's still a proven fact.

MissTaken May 4, 2012 at 1:06 pm

The sky *may* be blue, but who's to say that what I think is blue is what Ted Kaczynski thinks is blue?

Boojum May 4, 2012 at 1:13 pm

And exactly what do you mean by a "fact"?

SorosBot May 4, 2012 at 1:22 pm

And what is blue, really?

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 1:26 pm

And what exactly is a dream?

[obscure pink floyd ref]

Generation[redacted] May 4, 2012 at 1:59 pm

and what exactly is a joke?

[for syd]

MosesInvests May 4, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Because the sky is blue, it makes me cry-y-y-y-y-y-y, because the sky is blue-ue-ue-ue-ue….

Fare la Volpe May 4, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Daba-dee daba-die?

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Because stupid people run the country, it makes me cry-y-y-y-y-yy…

sharethegrief May 4, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Heartland has it on good faith that the Maldives is a bar in New Jersey.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 1:28 pm

It's in Newark, to be precise.
The crackheads and homeless guys just love it; it's like a really gross "Cheers".

ChernobylSoup May 4, 2012 at 1:04 pm

OT but Beastie Boys Adam Yauch is dead at 48. Now Tibet's never going to be free.

actor212 May 4, 2012 at 1:35 pm

RICHARD GERE LIBEL!

Fare la Volpe May 4, 2012 at 1:05 pm

The Unabomber loved White People

Do You?

MissTaken May 4, 2012 at 1:08 pm

FUUUCK!

ChernobylSoup May 4, 2012 at 1:10 pm

I have a real sad. I didn't even know he was sick. Apparently has been fighting cancer since 2009. RIP.

SorosBot May 4, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Damn that makes me feel old. I thought the stars of our youth were only supposed to die of suicide or ODs, not natural causes.

ChernobylSoup May 4, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Perhaps Mike D will sadly be done in by a pot of Chef-Boyardee and a Wiffleball bat.

widestanceromance May 4, 2012 at 1:34 pm

"Who dies in their own vomit these days, Eddie?"

Patsy Stone

Generation[redacted] May 4, 2012 at 2:00 pm

"They never found out whose vomit he choked on, did they?"

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 3:18 pm

"It's not like you can dust for vomit."

Callyson May 4, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Yeah, I know when I have questions about environmental issues I always consult Ted Kaczynski, Charles Manson, and Fidel Castro.

JFC…

Generation[redacted] May 4, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Who do you think writes all those IPCC reports? Duh, it's so obvious!

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Invisible Purple Country Club?

Allmighty_Manos May 4, 2012 at 1:09 pm

"These rogues and villains were chosen because they made public statements about how man-made global warming is a crisis and how mankind must take immediate and drastic actions to stop it."

Wait till they stick Newt's face up there. People will driving off the highway in terror.

JustPixelz May 4, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Mitt too. But they said "still believe" so those flip-floppers have an escape hatch.

Fare la Volpe May 4, 2012 at 1:09 pm

You know who else didn't believe in Global Warming?

Caligula
Alexander the Great
Ivan the Terrible
Vlad the Impaler
Satan

Checkmate, Paultards.

JustPixelz May 4, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Gotta argue with you about Satan. By all accounts, he causes some kind of warming. But don't take my word for it, let's ask Breitbart how his afterlife is going.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Also, Uncle Louie — but I have to admit, he really is kind of a dumb-ass.

chicken_thief May 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm

I applaud your optimistic belief that they know who the first four on the list are. As for Satan, that is who they believe you are with your elitist made up list.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 7, 2012 at 4:06 am

Ummm …. actually ….

BaldarTFlagass May 4, 2012 at 1:14 pm

These Heartland people don't seem to understand that their Heartland is going to turn into the Sahara and they are going to become latter-day Bedouins and Tuaregs, just without the praying to Mecca part. Have fun, y'all!!

widestanceromance May 4, 2012 at 1:36 pm

HA, HA, fryover states. Oh, wait, I live on a coast. . .

PubOption May 4, 2012 at 3:38 pm

They will both ride and smoke Camels?

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Kaczynski has also been known to wear a hoodie. I'm just sayin'.

arihaya May 4, 2012 at 1:52 pm

yeah, but did he ate Skittles?

Designer_Rants May 4, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Doesn't matter, since Ted clearly was gesturing to or around his waistband. Stand your ground.

Radiotherapy May 4, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Ted was also a Polish-American mathematics prodigy who went to Harvard, U. of Michigan, was a professor at Berkely who was big into self-sufficiency. Just sayin'.

smitallica May 4, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Ted Kaczynski believes in global warming because he has a Ph.D in a scientific field from Harvard, you fucking ignorant rubes. Fuck you.

sullivanst May 4, 2012 at 1:18 pm

See, I told you we'd reverse-Poe's-lawed the right.

Once again they deploy "You know who else did xyz" as if it wasn't pure snark.

Generation[redacted] May 4, 2012 at 1:26 pm

You know who else said "You know who else" –dammit! They ruined it!

sullivanst May 4, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Not really, given how it's supposed to work ;)

Radiotherapy May 4, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Hitler?

FIRST!!1!

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 3:24 pm

it usually works the other way around, e.g., "Jeebus/Raygun/whoever did/said/believed [fill in the blank], so you should too". It's called "argument from authority" and it's a well-known logical fallacy [huh huh huh].

Fukui-sanYesOta May 4, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Karl Marx believed in logic. Do you?

TeaNuts May 4, 2012 at 1:19 pm

That makes Gerbils terrorist?

nonbeliever7 May 4, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Dammit. This is like playing the old Carson routine Carnac the Magnificent.
Any olds remember "Sis-boom-baaaa"?

O/T but did you see what my avatar is worth. Somebody's got a little too much spare cash hanging around.

Designer_Rants May 4, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Tom Ashbrook said "somebody's loaded" offhandedly today during his show.

PubOption May 4, 2012 at 3:31 pm

I think Bill Gates bought 'The Scream', but will never admit it. [Insert Windows crash story here].

Biff May 4, 2012 at 7:27 pm

I was thinking that walmartian gal with the museum in Arkansas.

SheriffRoscoe May 4, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Sometimes I ponder my own descent into misanthropy, and am briefly stricken with fear at the idea that such is a characteristic of the unabomber. But then I take comfort with the reminder that I'm kinda dumb, and can barely change a tire.

Generation[redacted] May 4, 2012 at 1:25 pm

And I don't like to write anything longer than two sentences. So the world is safe.

elviouslyqueer May 4, 2012 at 1:44 pm

There, there, darling. *hands you a daiquiri*

SheriffRoscoe May 4, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Awww, and there's no whip cream cuz you remembered I'm getting ready for speedo season. MWAH.

Generation[redacted] May 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

The Heartland Institute: Keeping America Beautiful — with billboards of serial killers!

Mojopo May 4, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Seriously, if this is what they hang in public, what the hell is on their walls at home?

Generation[redacted] May 4, 2012 at 1:55 pm

"Dead Fetus Still Life" by Thomas Kinkade

mormos May 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

They must read wonkette
you know who else believed in global warming…

actor212 May 4, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Anybody with a positive IQ?

chicken_thief May 4, 2012 at 1:52 pm

David Koch, but he doesn't give a fuck?

fuflans May 4, 2012 at 1:30 pm

tide goes in, tide goes out. who can explain it?

Designer_Rants May 4, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Sea level raise 1 to 6 feet by the end of the century, Never a miscommunication.

actor212 May 4, 2012 at 1:30 pm

But we are saying that the ethics of many advocates of global warming are very suspect.

Sure hope the chairman of BP don't find out about this ad campaign…

Designer_Rants May 4, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Wouldn't the chairman of BP make a way better "ethically challenged" person to put on the billboard than some other serial killer who didn't even cause as many people to die?

Come here a minute May 4, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Benito Mussolini believed in public transit. Do you?

prommie May 4, 2012 at 1:34 pm

The only reason we haven't seen this line is because they haven't thought of it yet.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Also because they can't spell Mussolini.

sullivanst May 4, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Hitler believed in highways. Do you?

BaldarTFlagass May 4, 2012 at 1:58 pm

JT Ready believed in stronger immigration laws. Do you?

Smitros May 4, 2012 at 3:18 pm

As an admirer of the Milan train station I will just have to own my Fascism.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 1:31 pm

"James J. Lee (who took hostages inside the headquarters of the Discovery Channel in 2010)"

Doesn't the Discovery Channel have all that science-y stuff that wingnuts hate? So wouldn't James J. Lee be on their list of *good* guys?

actor212 May 4, 2012 at 1:43 pm

They also produce all them old timey Jesus-y programs at the holidays.

prommie May 4, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Wow, the wingnuts must be furious!

sullivanst May 4, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Well, it is a day, so yeah.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 1:33 pm

"These rogues and villains were chosen because they made public statements about how man-made global warming is a crisis and how mankind must take immediate and drastic actions to stop it."

Yeah, because nothing says "rogue and villain" more than trying to take away our right to drink poisoned water, breathe poisoned air, and live on a poisoned planet. Those BASTARDS!!

Generation[redacted] May 4, 2012 at 1:36 pm

That was their real crime, wasn't it?

prommie May 4, 2012 at 1:47 pm

And what is the only animal that "goes rogue?" It is the ELEPHANT! Connect the dots, people! Up, and to the left, up, and to the left. The bullet made a right angle turn in mid-air.

fuflans May 4, 2012 at 1:34 pm

remember earlier when i said:

so today i think i'm just going to go with posting:

god we are stupid.

so, yeah.

prommie May 4, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Are there no mass murderers who believed in lower taxes on the wealthy, weakening environmental laws, and cutting social programs?

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Not the *really cool* ones.

SayItWithWookies May 4, 2012 at 1:53 pm

They may be psychopathic killers but they're not idiots.

Wile E. Quixote May 4, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Well Ted Bundy was a Republican, but he was more of a serial killer than a mass murderer so I'm not sure he fits your criteria.

University years
After graduating from high school in 1965 Bundy spent a year at the University of Puget Sound (UPS) before transferring to the University of Washington (UW) in 1966 to study Chinese. In 1967 he became romantically involved with a UW classmate who is identified in Bundy biographies by several pseudonyms, most commonly Stephanie Brooks. In early 1968 he dropped out of college and worked at a series of minimum-wage jobs. He also volunteered at the Seattle office of Nelson Rockefeller's presidential campaign,[34] and in August, attended the 1968 Republican National Convention in Miami as a Rockefeller delegate. Shortly thereafter Brooks ended their relationship and returned to her family home in California, frustrated by what she described as Bundy's immaturity and lack of ambition. Psychiatrist Dorothy Lewis would later pinpoint this crisis as "… probably the pivotal time in his development." Devastated by Brooks' rejection, Bundy traveled to Colorado and then further east, visiting relatives in Arkansas and Philadelphia, and enrolling for one semester at Temple University. It was at this time in early 1969, Rule believes, that Bundy visited the office of birth records in Burlington and confirmed his true parentage.
Back in Washington in the fall of 1969, he met Elizabeth Kloepfer (identified in Bundy literature as Meg Anders, Beth Archer, or Liz Kendall), a divorcée from Ogden, Utah who worked as a secretary at the University of Washington School of Medicine. Their stormy relationship would continue well past his initial incarceration in Utah in 1976. In mid-1970, now focused and goal-oriented, he re-enrolled at UW, this time as a psychology major. He became an honor student, well-regarded by his professors.[40] In 1971 he took a job at Seattle's Suicide Hotline crisis center. There he met and worked alongside Rule, a former Seattle police officer and aspiring crime writer who would later write one of the definitive Bundy biographies, The Stranger Beside Me. Rule saw nothing disturbing in Bundy's personality at the time, describing him as "kind, solicitous, and empathetic".
After graduating from UW in 1972, Bundy joined Governor Daniel J. Evans' reelection campaign. Posing as a college student, he shadowed Evans's opponent, former governor Albert Rosellini, recording his stump speeches for analysis by Evans' team. After Evans' reelection he was hired as an assistant to Ross Davis, Chairman of the Washington State Republican Party. Davis thought well of Bundy, describing him as "smart, aggressive … and a believer in the system." In early 1973, despite mediocre Law School Admission Test scores, Bundy was accepted into the law schools of UPS and the University of Utah on the strength of letters of recommendation from Evans, Davis, and several UW psychology professors.
During a trip to California on Republican Party business in the summer of 1973, Bundy came back into the life of ex-girlfriend Brooks, who marveled at his transformation into a serious, dedicated professional, seemingly on the cusp of a distinguished legal and political career.

Designer_Rants May 4, 2012 at 2:43 pm

So, Brooks finally came to her senses and realized she almost lost a Great Catch, huh?

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 1:37 pm

*slyly*
You know… I know something else that Ted Kaczynski thinks.
He thinks that no one should give me money.
In fact, he just HATES when people give me money.
So does Osama Bin Laden, and so does Fidel Castro, and that Discovery Channel guy.
It makes them have hissy fits.
Lots of money.

prommie May 4, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I'm sorry, but it must be said, they have gone FULL retard. In the words of the Great Biden, who dwelleth at the right hand of the Obama, weapons grade retard. Sorry, editrix.

SheriffRoscoe May 4, 2012 at 1:39 pm

There's simply no other way to look at it.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 4, 2012 at 1:40 pm

The 9/11 hijackers believed they'd get a heavenly reward…Do YOU?

HistoriCat May 4, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Win.

teebob2000 May 4, 2012 at 1:40 pm

JT Ready didn't believe in global warming either, stupid rightwing motherfuckers.

prommie May 4, 2012 at 1:42 pm

They have deployed the argumentum ad tardum.

prommie May 4, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I can just see the scene when the order was given, their leader intoning in a voice of doom: "Release the gibberish."

arihaya May 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm

TED BUNDY is a registered Republican. Do You?

Doktor StrangeZoom May 4, 2012 at 1:54 pm

This is next to an Interstate Highway, isn't it? You know WHO ELSE liked building high-speed, limited access roadways?

Generation[redacted] May 4, 2012 at 1:57 pm

The Vogons?

Doktor StrangeZoom May 4, 2012 at 2:01 pm

You're a hoopy frood, but Towel Day isn't until the end of the month.

sullivanst May 4, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Wow. I did not sass towel day.

Chichikovovich May 4, 2012 at 2:05 pm

That Commie Eisenhower?

Doktor StrangeZoom May 4, 2012 at 2:25 pm

John James Autobahn?

horsedreamer_1 May 4, 2012 at 8:57 pm

The Romans?

Chet Kincaid May 4, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Really? Do the Republicans, who are in bed with American Nazis and right-wing militias all over the red states, really want to play this game?

sullivanst May 4, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Predictive reasoning is not their strong suit. In fact, they have a void.

imissopus May 4, 2012 at 1:59 pm

I fist puppies and I vote!

starfanglednut May 4, 2012 at 1:59 pm

OK, I'll be the first to say it:

Oh, for fucks sake.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 4, 2012 at 2:00 pm

The insurance industry believes that global warming is real.

Oh my god…the insurance industry is the Unabomber!

Wile E. Quixote May 4, 2012 at 2:06 pm

I'd love to see someone put up a couple of these billboards with Newt Gingrich and Jon Huntsman's face on them.

Chichikovovich May 4, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Well, obviously Kaczynski has been seduced by those millions of dollars in grant money that you get for defending global warming.

Redhead May 4, 2012 at 2:09 pm

You know who else believed in the THEORY of gravity? Hitler. What are you, the next Hitler, you gravity-loving Nazi?

Generation[redacted] May 4, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I'm not saying everyone who believes in gravity is Hitler, I'm just saying HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!HITLER! HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!HITLER! HITLER!HITLER!HITLER!

HITLER!

Doktor StrangeZoom May 4, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Send it up
Watch it rise
See it fall
Gravity's Angel

mercianomad May 4, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Man. There's a certain level of contempt inherent behind something this logically absurd – contempt, that is, by the makers of such a billboard for their own audience and how naive and incapable of critical thought that audience is. I used to have doubts, but now I'm sure they laugh and laugh at their idiotic constituency behind closed doors.

I never thought America would get worse than the 80s, but the new millennium has been such a festival of shit culture that I'm now fearful of the next few decades and what kind of crazy and even more stupid they can possibly bring.

Chet Kincaid May 4, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Way to overlook a golden opportunity! Incorporate the Festival Of Shit Culture as a 501(c)(3) and install yourself as Executive Director!

mercianomad May 4, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Ya, I'll make sure to do that after I borrow $20,000 from my parents for the project. Thanks for the tip!

ttommyunger May 4, 2012 at 2:13 pm

This gives you some idea of the contempt they hold for the average American's intelligence.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Some of the COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED contempt they hold.

ttommyunger May 4, 2012 at 10:25 pm

TOTALLY!

Generation[redacted] May 4, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Are they underestimating the public's intelligence? They'll never get rich that way!

ttommyunger May 4, 2012 at 10:25 pm

First, they get elected, THEN they get rich! USA,USA!

barto May 4, 2012 at 2:22 pm

The Heartland "Institute" believes that fossil fuels are our future. DO YOU?????

Designer_Rants May 4, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Have you ever been on their website? They is stupid.

Smitros May 4, 2012 at 3:04 pm

John Brown opposed slavery.

Do you?

C_R_Eature May 4, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Josef Stalin rejected Pseudoscience. Do YOU?

criminogenic May 4, 2012 at 5:16 pm

107.5% of scientists know that Global warming doesn't exist.

a_pink_poodle May 4, 2012 at 5:23 pm

You know who else believes in global warming?

glamourdammerung May 4, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Yet using Eric Rudolph and Adolf Hitler as examples of politically active Christians is somehow unfair.

ugodOH May 4, 2012 at 5:39 pm

There are certain branches of libertarians who LOVE Ted Kaczynski. If anyone was anti-Big Government, it was him.

skaboy.net May 4, 2012 at 5:50 pm

So… I think that's makes me a demon spawn, abortion giving, kid recruiter/fucker, destroyer of str8 marriage, black baby adopting devil worshiper. Did I get that right? Ugh.. Bring gay is a LOT of hard work!

LB1901 May 4, 2012 at 6:46 pm

BRILLIANT! Pass the popcorn!!

But Ira Einhorn should also be on that list of murderous eco-nutballs licking High Priest Al Gore's boots.

Who is Ira Einhorn? One of the founders of Earth Day.

What was his crime? He murdered his girlfriend in 1977 and stored her rotting corpse in his closet.

Ira is currently rotting in a very eco-friendly jail cell.

psilage May 4, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Whenever you drink your own urine, God fists a puppy.

user-of-owls May 4, 2012 at 8:40 pm

The Heartland Institute: We Put The Heart In Heartless.

lulzmonger May 4, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Hitler used base-ten numerals.

IF YOU DON'T USE BINARY OR HEXADECIMAL YOU LOVE HITLER.

QED, sheeple!

Biel_ze_Bubba May 7, 2012 at 4:17 am

“Ted Kaczynski liked chocolate. Do you?"

Freewayblogger May 9, 2012 at 12:52 pm

These are my billboards:
http://freewayblogger.blogspot.com/2012/05/wake-u

They reach a lot more people than the Heartland Institute and cost about ten bucks. Total.

hagajim May 4, 2012 at 1:00 pm

You had me at fisting, but lost me at puppies.

Radiotherapy May 4, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I wish for them drink their own urine. The other two, if they did them, I would then make them eat their own shit.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Not to be *too* nit-picky, but they drink *each other's* urine.

TeaNuts May 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

You sure your not talking about the Catholic church?

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Then I would make them shit their shit.

Designer_Rants May 4, 2012 at 2:21 pm

If that's your Overshare, keep 'em comin'. They made Overshare Day for people who are bad at it.

tessiee May 4, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Haw, the Scorpio who broke my heart when I was just a lovely young maiden had the nerve to show up at my front door months later. It was one of the high points of my pathetic, dorky life when I calmly shut the door in his face.

widestanceromance May 4, 2012 at 2:33 pm

You mean, like, if I was to share that today's constitutional was nearly a yard long, broke into 6 pieces and took 4 flushes, that would be a bad overshare?

Seriously, thank you and please accept my upfist as appreciation.

Schmannnity May 4, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Whoa! Slow clap.

ChuckieJesus May 5, 2012 at 11:10 am

I bow to your superior TMI.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: