THIS WHOLE COURT IS OUT OF ORDER!  3:16 pm May 3, 2012

Orly Taitz Still Suing To Get Off Ballot Guy Who Beat Her In 2010

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Now let me do your root canal!What, huh? Did you have trouble parsing that headline? It didn’t really make much sense, right? But have you considered that the problem might not be the headline, which is doing the best it can, bless its little anthropomorphized headline heart, but the story it is trying to explain? The story stars one Orly Taitz, after all — a woman who contains multitudes as she is a lawyer, dentist, future US senator from the world’s worst state, California, and probably some other stuff we forget.

So what’s up, Orles? How are you clogging up the court system today?

She continues to argue that [Damon] Dunn, a former National Football League player who defeated her for the [Republican nomination for Secretary of State in 2010] and ultimately lost to Democrat Debra Bowen, shouldn’t have been allowed to run as a Republican because years earlier in other states he’d registered as a Democrat.

Of course she does. So she has been suing him for election fraud plus reimbursement for all the $40,000 she spent on her campaign. (Plus punitive damages, of course, which should be outlawed when a drunk doctor kills your baby but are awesome when someone breaks the laws that Orly Taitz made up in her head.)

Let us read some of the decision by the California court of appeals pointing and laughing in Ms. Taitz’s face!

First, they point out about 147 things that were wrong with Taitz’s filing, in order, like they cannot even believe it. (And they probably cannot believe it, because how was this lady admitted to the bar? Confused face!) Then they get to the part we wanna know about, which is why the fuck Orly Taitz thinks that having been registered as a Democrat once makes someone ineligible to run as a Republican? Yeah, Ms. Taitz doesn’t really answer that?

We have carefully reviewed Taitz’s complaint and the record. Her fraud claim is based on the assumption Dunn knew he was ineligible to run as a Republican candidate and therefore misrepresented his eligibility status by declaring his candidacy. The alleged misrepresentations are all premised on Dunn’s alleged intentional failure to disclose some information on his California voter registration card. Specifically, Taitz asserts Dunn failed to disclose prior expired voter registrations in Texas and Florida.

However, Taitz provided no authority to support the premise of her argument. She failed to cite any legal authority holding Dunn’s failure to disclose past registrations on his California voter registration card rendered him ineligible to run as Republican candidate. Indeed, she provided no legal basis to explain why Dunn’s voter registration card had any relevancy to his eligibility as a candidate. As such, there is no reason to assume Dunn knew he was allegedly ineligible to run as a Republican candidate, i.e., he made no misrepresentation.

Oh well, guess it’s back to doing an awesome job suing the president. [OCWeekly/Leagle]

 
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{ 95 comments }

actor212 May 3, 2012 at 3:18 pm

I clearly need sleep. I read this as "Orly Taitz Beats Off Ballot Guy"

Steverino247 May 3, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Well, that would make a helluva lot more sense.

sullivanst May 3, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Which wouldn't make any sense, because Orly.

BigSkullF*ckingDog May 3, 2012 at 4:16 pm

I slept seven hours and in still trying to figure out why she wants to get him off. That seems nicer than her usual schtick.

Barb May 3, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Orly's birther crap was struck down in a California Court today. I was hoping that she'd be struck down with a Buick next. I would love to see her have an auto-body experience.

actor212 May 3, 2012 at 3:21 pm

We could ask Mythbusters to experiment with the article in Al Qaeda's magazine on her.

actor212 May 3, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Shorter justices to Orly:

"Taitz or GTFO!"

sullivanst May 3, 2012 at 3:25 pm

To me, it reads more like the shorter-still

"Taitz GTFO"

Negropolis May 3, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Yeah, 'cause she sure seems to show her Taitz without provocation, so they certainly wouldn't be asking for more frivolity.

edgydrifter May 3, 2012 at 3:20 pm

By her logic, Reagan could never have been elected. Or even existed. Spooky!

Lucidamente1 May 3, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Nothing wrong with her that a little coke and bull semen wouldn't cure.

edgydrifter May 3, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Orly calls that "breakfast."

vodkamuppet May 3, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Don't forget the gin.

sharethegrief May 3, 2012 at 3:34 pm

She could be the love child of Eva and bull semen Hitler. I saw her at a rodeo once.

memzilla May 3, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Getting a coherent answer out of Orly Taintz is like pulling teeth.

SorosBot May 3, 2012 at 3:22 pm

How has she not been disbarred yet?

MissTaken May 3, 2012 at 3:25 pm

You're the lawyer, tell us!

SorosBot May 3, 2012 at 3:36 pm

That's why I haz the confused! Maybe the California bar is more lenient on frivolous nuisance suits like hers.

prommie May 3, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Doesn't have to be "barred" to represent herself, anyway.

sullivanst May 3, 2012 at 3:57 pm

But among the "barred", filing utter nonsense is usually frowned upon and, indeed, cause for sanction. Apart form that one time in Georgia, Orly's endless stream of nonsense filings has gone bewilderingly unpunished.

sullivanst May 3, 2012 at 3:30 pm

And who in their right minds would submit a motion for her to be admitted pro hac vice in states outside California?

Oh, I see how that happens now.

actor212 May 3, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Emphasis on the "hac" bit…

boobookitteh May 3, 2012 at 3:30 pm

How has she not been institutionalized yet?

HistoriCat May 3, 2012 at 4:10 pm

This is all Reagan's fault.

BerkeleyBear May 3, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Cali discipline proceedings take a long time generally speaking, despite having a professional staff and a distinct bar court system. The case volume is pretty high, since California has tens of thousands of marginal attorneys. The bar investigators are generally more concerned with people ripping off their clients (which she doesn't have) or falling down drunk/stoned than pure frivolity in court (they seem to think that's for the courts to handle). The emphasis is on consumer safety over stupidity. And they almost never bust someone for conduct solely outside of California state courts (other than reciprocal actions from other states). A lot of judges also get skittish about referring lawyers for discipline unless the person is a repeated, incorrigible pain in their particular court. So Orly, by spreading her batshit out thin all over the country, has avoided the disbarment that would definitely followed if she had failed to respond after filing a personal injury lawsuit, commingled client retainer funds with her personal accounts or otherwise pissed off local clients enough to pursue the complaint.

But I know there was an investigation opened – but since they are confidential until and unless a public sanction is given, no idea what happened or is happening.

Steverino247 May 3, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Posting this here and below:
http://members.calbar.ca.gov/fal/Member/Detail/22

Nothing public as of yet.

Toomush_Infer May 3, 2012 at 3:22 pm

That's it!….I'm suing Orly Taitz for being, well, ….Orly Taitz! Do I have to file in California, or should I just send it upstairs to the Supremes?….

Goonemeritus May 3, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Yet Fox News has had this woman on like 500 time so she must be an expert. Could the problem be with the Judge?

Thurman Munster IV May 3, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Wasn't St Ronnie of Sweet Fucking Jesus CHRIST Almighty once a registered Demoncrat? Now teh Taintz has sent his soul to burn in Hell for evah

Callyson May 3, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Beat me to it!

weejee May 3, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Long form manure spreader permit or GTFO.

SayItWithWookies May 3, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Chess masters and conspiracy theorists all eventually go stark raving mad. Some people just got a head start, is all.

MissTaken May 3, 2012 at 3:24 pm

I don't think suing is the most effective way to "get off" ballot guy.

actor212 May 3, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Oh, I dunno….subpoenae are one way to experiment in your love life. You can also try filing briefs, and entering motions.

Veritas78 May 3, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Personally, I've always responded to a writ of mandingus.

Negropolis May 3, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Apart from filing a brief, it's even better if one can fill a brief.

ManchuCandidate May 3, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Orly Dunn in by Taintz Judgement.

sullivanst May 3, 2012 at 3:25 pm

And they probably cannot believe it, because how was this lady admitted to the bar? Confused face!

Yeah, seriously. I mean, I'm not a lawyer, but I can recognize when someone has absolutely no fucking clue what the law is or how it works, and that's what I see in every single Orly filing.

ElPinche May 3, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Plan B: Where's Damon's birth certificate?

nounverb911 May 3, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Cleveland? Sorry, wrong Damon.

Blueb4sunrise May 3, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Damon Dunn is Kenyan, right?

prommie May 3, 2012 at 3:27 pm

But where is his long-form Republican Certificate?

randcoolcatdaddy May 3, 2012 at 3:27 pm

"However, Taitz provided no authority to support the premise of her argument. She failed to cite any legal authority holding [insert text here] rendered him ineligible to run as [insert text here]. Indeed, she provided no legal basis to explain why [insert text here] had any relevancy to his eligibility as a candidate. As such, there is no reason to assume [insert text here] was allegedly ineligible to run as [insert text here], i.e., he made no misrepresentation."

Obviously, Taitz's many court cases has resulted in our judiciary resorting to form letters to process her claims.

bumfug May 3, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Isn't having Orly Taitz' name on a court filing prima facie evidence that it's a crock of shit?

FNMA May 3, 2012 at 3:30 pm

I guess these are those activist judges we're always hearing about, demanding that lawyers cite "laws" and "facts" and whatnot.

vodkamuppet May 3, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Argh, beat me to it. I need to start getting drunk so I'll be wittier.

FNMA May 3, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Start?

Toomush_Infer May 3, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Always works for me….Feeeelings, nothing more than……

DerrickWildcat May 3, 2012 at 3:30 pm

What's the deal with that lady?

Joshua Norton May 3, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Indeed, she provided no legal basis to explain why Dunn’s voter registration card had any relevancy to his eligibility as a candidate.

Next she'll sue the judges for not taking her seriously. And just existing in general.

I'll bet they zipped out this opinion while they were waiting for their Keurig coffee cup to fill.

prommie May 3, 2012 at 3:42 pm

These judges are unconstitutional, and they infringed her liberty by not ruling in her favor. Where are their long-form Constitutional Certificates of Liberty?

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 3, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Fellow attorneys: See, this is what happens if you draft your briefs with your Dentist hat on instead of your Attorney hat. Let the practitioner beware!

FlownOver May 3, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Do I get CLE credit for reading your comment?

I do? Thanks, Lionel!

elviouslyqueer May 3, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Next up, Orly will be suing RuPaul because she couldn't get past the first round of auditions for Season 3 of Drag Race. Orly will also want punitive damages because Ru called her hair a hot mess and told her that Ann Coulter looked more feminine than she did.

MissTaken May 3, 2012 at 3:33 pm

I'm not sure about the cocaine and bull semen, but something tells me she's awfully farty.

Nostrildamus May 3, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Hot, wet and farty!

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 3, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Is it possible to get Bush and Cheney off the ballot now, as they committed fraud by not telling us who the person that would actually be running the country was.

Rosie_Scenario May 3, 2012 at 3:36 pm

First, Joe the Plumber and now Orly Taitz — 2008 all over again.

vodkamuppet May 3, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Fucking activist judges with their "laws" and "precedents", what are they hiding?!

OldWhiteLies May 3, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Pic captionz corner …

"Really – it was this big … "

Doktor StrangeZoom May 3, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Orly "Rectal Tube" Taitz

GOPCrusher May 3, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Not a lawyer and didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night, but doesn't there come a point where they just rule that any suit that comes into court with the name Orly Taitz:Plaintiff automatically results in her being locked up for contempt of court?

jakegittes May 3, 2012 at 5:06 pm

In California, she runs the risk of being declared a vexatious litigant and being put on a list that would obligate her to post security every time she files a lawsuit on her own behalf. Too bad that one of the sanctions available to the court to deal with vexatious litigants is deportation.

sullivanst May 3, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Speaking of vexatious litigants, can you just feel the irony dripping from this case?

jakegittes May 3, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Looks like there's a lot of pissing on everybody's shoes in and amongst that group.

sullivanst May 3, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Yes, it does seem the hotter, hornier, wetter, tighter sex phase is very much over.

My vexatious/irony comment would've been much more on point if reality matched my conflation of this guy with this other guy

Blueb4sunrise May 3, 2012 at 3:43 pm

via BJ and GOS
for Orly antidote….
Bammz haz jole blon workin the Tubes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IkC4gM6QX4&fe

Chichikovovich May 3, 2012 at 3:44 pm

how was this lady admitted to the bar? Confused face!

That's actually a funny story. When she went to the committee to get permission to practice, they gave enthusiastic, unanimous approval. But it was a classic misunderstanding – she kept saying, in her nearly incomprehensible accent, that she wanted to "cross the bar". And wouldn't you know it – they were all Tennyson buffs.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 3, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Tennysonyone?

JustPixelz May 3, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Why is anyone surprised at this? Orly Taitz is unabashedly advocating the Republican Party's position that elections don't count, voters can't be trusted, democracy is wrong unless they win.

Clinton impeachment.
Bush v Gore
Voter ID laws.
Where's the birth certificate?
Wrong font size.
Citzens United is just.

OldWhiteLies May 3, 2012 at 3:46 pm

It occurs to me that the common commenting qualifier OT as in Off Topic, and OT as in Orly Tai[n]tzted, are indistinguishable.

As in OT is always OT.

Not_So_Much May 3, 2012 at 3:51 pm

On her cards where it say "Lawyer/Real Estate Agent/Dentist/Pundit", it may be time to go ahead and demote lawyer.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 3, 2012 at 3:52 pm

So this odd human (?) being somehow makes a living from being completely full of shit, and I am working as a temp?

OK, sure, why not.

HistoriCat May 3, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Typical whining librul! Here is this – um … woman? OK, sure, woman – who has the drive to go out and become a lawyer and a dentist and a real estate agent. Why can't you be more like her and get out there and work for what you want? Instead, you just expect the government to help you out.

whateverfour May 3, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Meh, her husband is a millionaire.

lisawines May 4, 2012 at 3:44 am

Somebody married her? Oh my.

Negropolis May 3, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Don't despair. All it takes to become rich and famous these days is a sex tape and/or obnoxious personality. Keep working on it.

Steverino247 May 3, 2012 at 4:05 pm

From the CA Bar site: http://members.calbar.ca.gov/fal/Member/Detail/22

There may be something brewing, but nothing public as of yet.

WhatTheHeck May 3, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Orly shouldn’t have been allowed to run as a Republican because years earlier she was deemed to be insane. Yet, here she is, still a republican and still insane.

Stevola May 4, 2012 at 1:25 am

You say that like it's two different things

bikerlaureate May 3, 2012 at 4:18 pm

bless its little anthropomorphized headline heart,

…is like a little blip of starbursts in my Hobo Beansey day.

OneYieldRegular May 3, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Complete the dang fence around this nut.

rickmaci May 3, 2012 at 4:41 pm

I believe she was sent here by Al Qaeda to torment us into submission.

Tommy1733 May 3, 2012 at 5:07 pm

I feel blessed to be alive during the career of such a great entertainer – she is making so many people smile. I hope she continues her career for a long time. Can't wait to see what she comes up for when Hillary is President in 2016.

IceCreamEmpress May 3, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Does she not realize that Saint Reagan was a Democrat before he was a Republican't?

Nostrildamus May 3, 2012 at 6:52 pm

"We have carefully reviewed Taitz’s complaint and the record…"

I'm imagining the judge emitting long sigh as he wrote that.

Nostrildamus May 3, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Looking at this picture of Damon Dunn, I get a funny feeling like there's maybe a common thread in ballot eligibility Orly's lawsuits, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Ideas, anyone?

swordfis May 3, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Why are we not surprised?

MozakiBlocks May 3, 2012 at 10:56 pm

I'll bet he's near as well.

WIDTAP May 3, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Orly's comment at the leagle.com web site is as priceless as ever. However, I warn you NOT to play the drinking game of taking a shot for every "Obama" in her response to the Dunn decision.

owhatever May 3, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Oily Titz is a dentist, too? She ought to run for public office. Such a special woman.

ttommyunger May 4, 2012 at 1:51 pm

"Much ado about nobody."

Come here a minute May 4, 2012 at 8:46 pm

How could you forget real estate agent? The three most important things about real estate are 1. Location, 2. Location, and 3. Location. The three most important things about politics are 1. Birth Certificates, 2. Birth Certificates, and 3. Birth Certificates.

jakegittes May 3, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Was she fuckin' both of them? The mental image of that has just burned holes in both my retina and my cortex.

sullivanst May 3, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Just be thankful she wasn't kinky.

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