GREAT INTERNATIONAL ROWS  12:29 pm May 3, 2012

David Cameron, You Have Been Cavorting Far Too Much With Barack Obama

by Jim Newell

The War of 2012The Almighty King of England, David Cameron, recently spent a lovely American spring afternoon with Barack Obama inside a sweaty gymnasium watching college athletes play basketball. They then had a lovely American spring evening at a White House state dinner, at which David Cameron saluted the American liberal president. We all know how creepy Cameron is for Obama. He is 1,000 Royal Navy battleships’ worth of creepy for him. But now Mitt Romney wants some of that action, and he will be a sourpuss until he gets it, tut tut.

Mitt Romney recently announced that he had invited himself to the opening night of the London Olympics this summer, just in case it needs some of that last-minute Romney saving that he so specializes in. But he wouldn’t say whether he’d meet with King David Cameron. It seems this John Bull has just been too lovey-dovey with the Kenyan, recently — that their special relationship threatens to disrupt the Special Relationship, as Republican logic would have it:

Referring to Cameron’s highly flattering toast to Obama during a banquet given in the prime minister’s honour when he visited Washington in March, a senior aide said: “You don’t take sides in an election year”.

The aide, who requested anonymity, said Romney and his wife, Ann, would attend the “first day of activities” of the 2012 Games, which open in July. Romney would do “one or two other things” while in London. A meeting with Cameron was not ruled out, but that was “up in the air”, the aide said.

Doubts about a possible Downing Street meeting appear to stem in part from surprise and dismay felt in the Romney camp about what it saw as Cameron’s obsequious behaviour at the banquet on 14 March.

Cameron’s performance smacked of a “lack of experience” and was seen as “not very skilful”, the aide said.

Romney advisers responsible for European policy were said to have been so alarmed that their initial reaction was to complain Cameron had “infringed” the special relationship between the US and Britain.

Time to call in the 7th-grade teacher with recess duty today to resolve this.

[Guardian]

 
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{ 135 comments }

the_onceler May 3, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Make sure that you tell the Romney's that when they airlift their multiple Cadillacs across the pond, that the Brits drive on the other side.

nounverb911 May 3, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Of the Atlantic or the road?

chicken_thief May 3, 2012 at 1:05 pm

"…the Brits drive on the other side."

So Ann should "sleep" on her stomach?!

nounverb911 May 3, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Why doesn't Rmoney just buy the Olympics so he can go without all the riff raff?

sewollef May 3, 2012 at 1:35 pm

You guys do realise there's a swampy wilderness, south-east of London called Romney Marshes, right?

Mittens would fit right in…

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 3, 2012 at 3:25 pm

I just assumed that since he was showing up, he was going to place the Olympics in bankruptcy and get his money.

freakishlywrong May 3, 2012 at 12:33 pm

“You don’t take sides in an election year”.
Mitt: "Unless it's my side".

actor212 May 3, 2012 at 12:54 pm

This is going to be one of those "sat in the back of Air Force One and whine about it" moments, I bet.

hagajim May 3, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Should we just change his name to Mitt Whiney now?

starfanglednut May 3, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Mittens Whineymcwhinerton

Barb May 3, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Mitt Romney:
Many of my friends own spotted dick.

nounverb911 May 3, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Cheney or Nixon?

Barb May 3, 2012 at 12:38 pm

The last place Cheney was "spotted" was in a graveyard with a humpbacked friend, digging up graves in search of a heart replacement donor.

MosesInvests May 3, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Could be worse-could be raining.

nounverb911 May 3, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Was it's name Abbie Normal?

starfanglednut May 3, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Put. The candle back.

weejee May 3, 2012 at 12:47 pm

No need for condomania. Joe the Plumber's cousin reports John Kerry's in laws have it covered.

Guppy May 3, 2012 at 1:09 pm

No penicillin?

Tengu May 3, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Romney will receive obsequious treatment from Brit Hume instead.

kissawookiee May 3, 2012 at 12:35 pm

I know that in my own personal life, the best way to maintain special relationships is to avoid flattering, praising, and otherwise acknowledging the other party in any way. That's why I have so much experience in so very, very many special relationships.

bumfug May 3, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Romney's guys are right, the last thing anyone should do during an election year is take sides. Wait, what?

iburl May 3, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Because "election year" in the USA is election year all around the world.

starfanglednut May 3, 2012 at 12:54 pm

The hubris is strong in this one.

SorosBot May 3, 2012 at 12:37 pm

So wait, do none of them remember the obsequious behavior of Tony Blair when he accepted the position of George Bush's top foreign cock sucker?

sullivanst May 3, 2012 at 12:47 pm

But that was different.

bumfug May 3, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Yeah, that was for FREEDOM!

Oblios_Cap May 3, 2012 at 12:51 pm

9/11 changed everything!

sullivanst May 3, 2012 at 12:56 pm

And of course OBL's death changed it back. Or something.

JoeHoya May 3, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Or John Major, who did some fine knob-slobbering for W.'s dad back in '92?

valthemus May 3, 2012 at 1:17 pm

But that was ten years ago. Who remembers what happened ten years ago? As if what happened ten years ago matters. Pish! Don't be such a silly!

vodkamuppet May 3, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Didn't Reagan and Thatcher have a love child together?

bagofmice May 3, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Personally, this sounds like a CSI spinoff.We've gone from Downton Abbey to Downton Romney.

ifthethunderdontgetya May 3, 2012 at 12:37 pm

The aide, who requested anonymity…

It doesn't mean you have to give it to them, so-called watchdogs of the press.

/ Death of the media, episode one trillion and one
~

Biff May 3, 2012 at 12:56 pm

But they'd never ever get such juicy tidbits again!

Generation[redacted] May 3, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Openly gay anonymous source.

BklynIlluminati May 3, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Is this the part where Mitten's posse starts leaking slut stories about Cameron?

tcaalaw May 3, 2012 at 2:00 pm

But no one would believe slut stories about David Cameron….

Geminisunmars May 3, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Complaining about lack of experience and not being very skillful is a clever way to gain an audience with King Cam.

chicken_thief May 3, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Right? Then if King Cam says ok, so you met with King Rookie Cam – big deal. And if he still says no, then you got dissed by a newbie. Way to paint yourself into a corner, Mittens!

Radiotherapy May 3, 2012 at 12:38 pm

You know who else invited themselves to the Olympics?

Barb May 3, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Hitler?

sullivanst May 3, 2012 at 12:51 pm

This is starting to remind me of Mornington Crescent.

nounverb911 May 3, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Hitler? Eva Braun?

Geminisunmars May 3, 2012 at 12:42 pm

The Greeks?

noodlesalad May 3, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Eddie the Eagle?

sullivanst May 3, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Eric the Eel?

Advn2rgirl May 3, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Eric the Half A Bee?

ManchuCandidate May 3, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Jesse Owens!

Sharkey May 3, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Black September?

__kth__ May 3, 2012 at 1:10 pm

too soon maybe

chicken_thief May 3, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Pheidippides?

Fare la Volpe May 3, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Richard Jewell Eric Robert Rudolph?

GorzoTheMighty May 3, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Maximus Gluteus?

Negropolis May 4, 2012 at 1:44 am

Palestinian terrorists?

Callyson May 3, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Apparently acknowledging their differing political outlook, Cameron went on: "You don't get to choose the leaders that you have to work with. But all I can say is that it is a pleasure to work with someone with moral strength, with clear reason and with fundamental decency in this task of renewing our great national alliance for today and for the generations to follow."

Yeah, how dare Cameron say such a thing! Time to call the Special Relationship off!! We have always been at war with the Brits!!!

JFC…

CthuNHu May 4, 2012 at 4:14 am

"You don't get to choose the leaders that you have to work with. But all I can say is that it is a pleasure to work with someone with moral strength, with clear reason and with fundamental decency — (not like that reeking sack of badger vomit Blair had to act all fluttery-eyed over)."

John Birf Society May 3, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Doing America's business is so unseemly in an election year. Why won't Obama get back to work doing the nation's business?

BarackMyWorld May 3, 2012 at 12:39 pm

"Romney advisers responsible for European policy…"

I'm still not buying this whole "Romney has foreign policy advisers" thing.

SorosBot May 3, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Well he fired the one for having the gay.

starfanglednut May 3, 2012 at 12:56 pm

ha ha ha. like the Bushies fired the gay Arabic translatorez.

BarackMyWorld May 3, 2012 at 3:06 pm

How many's that leave? Zero? Yes, zero sounds about right.

Sharkey May 3, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Watch out Mitt, they tap people's phones over there.

BritinSeattle May 3, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Considering that Cameron is to the left of Obama on things like universal healthcare and gay marriage, I'm surprised that Mitt Romney would be seen dead with him…

nounverb911 May 3, 2012 at 12:45 pm

My reply would be a violation of the Wonkette behavior rules.

sharethegrief May 3, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I'll go with 'Romney is always seen as lifeless.'

Guppy May 3, 2012 at 1:10 pm

The GOP misses the monarchy.

Lascauxcaveman May 3, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Sorry, Mitt. He's just not that into you.

freakishlywrong May 3, 2012 at 12:43 pm

In 6 short months, all of this fucking shit will be over. The Oligarchy commeth.

prommie May 3, 2012 at 1:10 pm

It came long and hard, all over us, around 1981.

noodlesalad May 3, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Poor Mittens. Not as likeable or cool. Still, I think the "You Skipped Us When Picking Teams in Grade School, and we're COMING FOR YOU NOW" vibe is really going to pay off in November.

FlownOver May 3, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Romney would do “one or two other things” while in London.

Behead heretics and traitors? Because that would provide a welcome respite from NBC coverage of the Bumfighting medal round.

weejee May 3, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Maybe he'd zip himself in a MI6-approved baggie and take a snooze in the tub?

chicken_thief May 3, 2012 at 1:01 pm

He can prolly write off the trip if he checks on his accounts there.

sullivanst May 3, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Mitt, my friend, if I may point something out to you:

YOU ARE NOT THE FUCKING PRESIDENT, Barack is.

Clear things up for you?

starfanglednut May 3, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Srsly.

rickmaci May 3, 2012 at 5:09 pm

And just so there is no mistake here, THERE IS NOT A SOUL IN THE BRIT GOVERNMENT THAT THINKS YOU EVER WILL BE.

Got it?

nounverb911 May 3, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Maybe Mitt should meet with Prince Charles, he'll be the Queen soon.

rickmaci May 3, 2012 at 5:15 pm

The WingTard values noise makers would be very upset if they heard that Mittenz was meeting with a Queen.

CthuNHu May 4, 2012 at 4:18 am

And Mittens would be very upset to learn that he can't placate them by firing Prince Charles.

MissTaken May 3, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Ugh, you know Romney is going to spend the whole time saying crap like "When I saved Olympics" and "Do you remember during the Salt Lake games, the ones I saved incidentally…?" and "My wife like dressage, maybe she can compete on one of those horseys, too".

SorosBot May 3, 2012 at 12:50 pm

What the fuck is dressage, anyway? All I've gathered is that it involves horses, and that it's one of those rich people hobbies that us peons have never heard of.

Fare la Volpe May 3, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Do you really want to know what rich people do with their horses when they're alone? Really?

Didn't think so.

SorosBot May 3, 2012 at 1:12 pm

So are you implying that Ann Romney has cuckolded Mitt with a stallion? That would be the first interesting thing about her at least.

bagofmice May 3, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Ever been to Enumclaw?

MissTaken May 3, 2012 at 12:58 pm

I'm pretty sure it involves riding a horse up to your car elevator while you wait for your Cadillac to appear. You also have to wear an eagle shirt while on the horse.

Sir_Fartz_Alot May 3, 2012 at 1:36 pm

that was the most patriotic statement. ever.

starfanglednut May 3, 2012 at 12:58 pm

That motherfucker will absolutely NEVER shut up about the motherfuckin Olympics. Drove us up the wall here in MA.

Biff May 3, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Maybe they can train a dressage unicorn for mittens, too?

Doktor StrangeZoom May 3, 2012 at 12:45 pm

One does not show respect to a head of state if that head of state is up for election, especially if that head of state is Near, and might be replaced by one of his betters.

You'd think an English Gentleman would understand these things.

SockBunny May 3, 2012 at 12:45 pm

All this implying how Cameron should act is going to get Mitt & Ann front row center at the archery play-offs.

rickmaci May 3, 2012 at 11:58 pm

Javelin catcher.

elviouslyqueer May 3, 2012 at 12:45 pm

I'm sorry, but did I miss the part when it was okay for an unelected candidate who hasn't even made it through his party's nominating convention to school another country's Prime Minister on his behavior toward a sitting President? Wow, talk about unmitigated gall.

starfanglednut May 3, 2012 at 1:00 pm

It's that racist arrogance again. Hopey can't really be POTUS, cuz he's foreign (blah).

freakishlywrong May 3, 2012 at 1:03 pm

unmiTtigated gall..

CthuNHu May 4, 2012 at 4:06 am

Cameron’s performance smacked of a “lack of experience”

One-term governor says what?

ManchuCandidate May 3, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Who's the preznit of the US Fucking America? The Nearer/The One/The Barry. Not some apparently delicate flower of a used car salesman like corprat 1%er dumbfuck wannabe in special undies.

Oblios_Cap May 3, 2012 at 12:52 pm

judging from the Sunday morning talk shows, John McCain is our president.

starfanglednut May 3, 2012 at 1:02 pm

"delicate flower of a used car salesman like corprat 1%er dumbfuck wannabe in special undies." ftw.

elviouslyqueer May 3, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Delicate flower my ass. More like a persistent weed that could use a good dose of Round-Up.

Maman May 3, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Oh, good. Mitt is practicing looking Presidential by appearing petty. Charming. He is proving easily pushed around AND thin-skinned.

freakishlywrong May 3, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Are all those awful huge-toothed boys that never served despite their war-mongering Dad going to England to bask in the spotlight as well?

weejee May 3, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Mittens will be introducing a new Olympic event – Hedge Fund Jumping.

starfanglednut May 3, 2012 at 1:03 pm

That's a very derivative sport, but there's quite a boom in it.

LiveToServeYa May 3, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Sorry, Mitt, that sweet English buggering is only available to election winners.

metamarcisf May 3, 2012 at 12:51 pm

If Romney is really interested in establishing a working relationship the British government, he should pay a visit to the Queen. And Prince Charles. And his inbred, dumbass sons.

HistoriCat May 3, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Say what you will about those inbred, dumbass sons – at least they didn't skip out of their country's war efforts.

johnnyzhivago May 3, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Romney would definitely know unprofessional, inexperienced behavior when he sees it.

actor212 May 3, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Ooooh! Where's the popcorn? Conservative BITCHSLAP!

Fare la Volpe May 3, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Romney would do “one or two other things” while in London

…Ewwwwwww.

ttommyunger May 3, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Mittens, you think YOU'RE pissed? Rupert Murdoch does NOT like to share; that sweet Cameron ass is his, all his.

chicken_thief May 3, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Shorter Mitt: Wah. My pussy hurts!

Boojum May 3, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Guys, this is an Onion article. Here's the proof:

"Criticism from Romney's camp is unusual. It prides itself on being extremely disciplined, careful in its dealings with the press, and averse to controversy."

SHAKE THAT ETCH-A-SKETCH!!!!

Steverino247 May 3, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Mitt Romney thinks he's in the Special Olympics of Relationships. This explains why he's crying about not getting a medal.

ElPinche May 3, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Apparently, Romney hasn't met Barry. Everybody who meets Barack gets a little moist, and becomes an Obamabot. So that's the key, DNC: Gucci Moroni has to meet Barry, then the election will be down hill from there.

__kth__ May 3, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Whose arse (because UK) were these supposed rules pulled out of?

Steverino247 May 3, 2012 at 1:10 pm

The UK equivalent of Dressage. Here's the 1815 Gold Medalist team: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Scotland_Foreve

Guppy May 3, 2012 at 1:12 pm

The only "special relationship" Cameron is worried about is the one he has with the British electorate. As head of the British government, it his his sworn duty to represent his nation's penis envy of the United States.

prommie May 3, 2012 at 1:14 pm

I would never have known of this vile breach of the special relationship (Does Israel know we are cheating on it?) if not for Romney's advisors making this row.

OneYieldRegular May 3, 2012 at 1:17 pm

I must say, the Romney campaign is doing a spectacular job of starting to develop strong and respectful relations with the strongest allies of the U.S.

fuflans May 3, 2012 at 1:36 pm

not to mention china which is really not helpful.

Generation[redacted] May 3, 2012 at 1:26 pm

"I wanted to meet David Cameron to tell him how much I loved Titanic." –Romney foreign policy advisor.

valthemus May 3, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I love how Mitt is constantly surprised by the fact that not everyone is waiting in line clamoring for the opportunity to give him head. Golly, Mittzy, aren't world leaders who won't kiss your presumptuous ass just the worst?

widestanceromance May 3, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Damn, Willard, even Ron Paul has his own room at 10 Downing Street. Maybe you could offer to take the Queen's low-wind-resistant Corgies for a ride in one of your homes next time she crosses the pond.

Terry May 3, 2012 at 1:35 pm

"Cameron’s performance smacked of a “lack of experience” and was seen as “not very skilful”, the aide said."

Certainly, Romney's camp knows lots about both those subjects.

Generation[redacted] May 3, 2012 at 3:05 pm

And when President Romney's foreign policy fails in spectacular fashion, he can blame the "lack of experience" of all the other world leaders who are "not very skillful"

fuflans May 3, 2012 at 1:43 pm

damn romney is just looking worse and worse.

all the crap he's supposed to do well – all those Important Business Management Skills – seem to completely elude him.

mr. fuflans has been saying for months now that mitt's an untalented and uninspiring scion of political power whose success is vastly over-rated and likely not of his own making. i've been saying he MUST have some business talents – if nothing else.

once again, mr. fuflans is probably right.

fuflans May 3, 2012 at 1:45 pm

oh and here's a thing, mr. special relationship:

the current republican party and your stated positions make the BNP look left wing.

PresqueVu May 3, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Time to call in the 7th-grade teacher with recess duty today to resolve this

Ha! 7th grade teachers only *wish* they could have recess duty like their elementary school counterparts. They're lucky to find a school where recess is still held, much less embraced by academics-driven admin or sedentary-inclined, recreationally-challenged 21st-century children.

Chow Yun Flat May 3, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Cameron's toast: But all I can say is that it is a pleasure to work with someone with moral strength, with clear reason and with fundamental decency

(sotto voce) Especially after that wanker Bush.

joobajooba May 3, 2012 at 4:02 pm

It was a toast, Mr. Romney, not a roast, for fuck's sake.

glamourdammerung May 3, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Referring to Cameron’s highly flattering toast to Obama during a banquet given in the prime minister’s honour when he visited Washington in March, a senior aide said: “You don’t take sides in an election year”.

Someone must have "forgot" about this election and the last one in which a certain party loves to go to Israel and talk badly about the United States in front of Israel's legislature.

bagofmice May 3, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Tell mister Romney that when he is no longer unemployed, we can talk.

Negropolis May 4, 2012 at 1:40 am

You know, this is really funny, because the commentary across the pond is that Obama doesn't like Cameron much…commentary I hope is true. These two aren't that ideologically similar. Obama was not afraid of stimulus; Cameron sent his nation's economy back into a recession because of "austerity." This is not even to mention the Conservative Party is trying to sneak in the increasing privatization of health services. I get so tired of hearing the bullshit "if (insert name of conservative, European politician here) wasan American, he'd be a Democrat" because the conservatives, over there, have been forced mightly to cede certain social issues.

Negropolis May 4, 2012 at 1:53 am

Forget the Camerons. He should just bypass politics, altogether and go straight to the top. The Royal Family is more his speed, anyway. I can hear the awkward, monied conservasations (are there any other kind with them?) between Mitt and Charles, as I type…

OldWhiteLies May 3, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Um-bra – n pl 1: a shaded area …
Um-brage – n (see ReTeaThuglican) …
Um-brel-la – n 1: a collapsible …

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