This is your brain on drugs. Order up!California Senator and world’s greatest Democrat Dianne Feinstein has done some creative thinking on the scourge that is Drugs, and she has some terrific ideas that are fresh and new and “outside-the-box” and other fresh and new ways of saying “outside the box”! What is her first great idea? Moar Drug War please!

We must pull back the curtains on the false debate between legalizing drugs and current drug policy. […] Latin-American leaders are rightly outraged that their citizens continue to suffer because of America’s drug habits.

Except that they would all like us to legalize drugs, because when’s the last time you saw Bartles kill Jaymes with a machete? (The answer, for our slower friends and Sen. Feinstein is: during Prohibition.) But what other creative thinking has Feinstein done? She would like to spend hundreds of millions of dollars again on those stupid “This Is Your Brain on Drugs” commercials that launched a million novelty tees! Because having 40 million children laugh at you while baked is total Feinsteinian SUCCESS!

First, we should once again make anti-drug campaigns a priority. In the early 1980s, former first lady Nancy Reagan coined the now-famous slogan “Just say no” as part of her national anti-drug campaign.

Although her strategy was criticized, she was able to use the White House as a national platform to address these issues.

Next, Congress should refund the Office of National Drug Control Policy’s youth media campaign — the only national media campaign dedicated to reducing youth drug use. Funding for this program was eliminated last year in spite of the fact that 85 percent of teens are aware of the advertising campaign.

This campaign should be provided with the funding it deserves and expanded to make the connection between U.S. drug use and violence in Mexico.

Finally, we can invest in probation programs that allow for random drug testing for probationers and swift sanctions when those tests are positive. There is no better way to reduce criminal recidivism.

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Drug test everyone! More propaganda muneez for ONDCP! And bring back the universally mocked, loathed and discredited Just Say No! Get used to it, California. Dianne Feinstein is our “Democrat,” and she will never die, and we will keep reelecting her and wheeling her into the US Senate when she is 150, like Strom Thurmond, and Jenna Bush is president of the Confederacy (which will be all of us, since we will have lost the Great Tea Party War of 2019, because we are hippies and don’t have guns). Hooray! [TheHill]

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