California Senator and world’s greatest Democrat Dianne Feinstein has done some creative thinking on the scourge that is Drugs, and she has some terrific ideas that are fresh and new and “outside-the-box” and other fresh and new ways of saying “outside the box”! What is her first great idea? Moar Drug War please!
We must pull back the curtains on the false debate between legalizing drugs and current drug policy. [...] Latin-American leaders are rightly outraged that their citizens continue to suffer because of America’s drug habits.
Except that they would all like us to legalize drugs, because when’s the last time you saw Bartles kill Jaymes with a machete? (The answer, for our slower friends and Sen. Feinstein is: during Prohibition.) But what other creative thinking has Feinstein done? She would like to spend hundreds of millions of dollars again on those stupid “This Is Your Brain on Drugs” commercials that launched a million novelty tees! Because having 40 million children laugh at you while baked is total Feinsteinian SUCCESS!
First, we should once again make anti-drug campaigns a priority. In the early 1980s, former first lady Nancy Reagan coined the now-famous slogan “Just say no” as part of her national anti-drug campaign.
Although her strategy was criticized, she was able to use the White House as a national platform to address these issues.
Next, Congress should refund the Office of National Drug Control Policy’s youth media campaign — the only national media campaign dedicated to reducing youth drug use. Funding for this program was eliminated last year in spite of the fact that 85 percent of teens are aware of the advertising campaign.
This campaign should be provided with the funding it deserves and expanded to make the connection between U.S. drug use and violence in Mexico.
Finally, we can invest in probation programs that allow for random drug testing for probationers and swift sanctions when those tests are positive. There is no better way to reduce criminal recidivism.
Drug test everyone! More propaganda muneez for ONDCP! And bring back the universally mocked, loathed and discredited Just Say No! Get used to it, California. Dianne Feinstein is our “Democrat,” and she will never die, and we will keep reelecting her and wheeling her into the US Senate when she is 150, like Strom Thurmond, and Jenna Bush is president of the Confederacy (which will be all of us, since we will have lost the Great Tea Party War of 2019, because we are hippies and don’t have guns). Hooray! [TheHill]
{ 195 comments }
Can we use that same argument in the "War on Republicans"?
I believe that is Obama's strategy from the get-go
I would prefer a winning strategy in the War on Republicans.
As homer simpson says, "Just say D'OH!"
While you're at it Senator… bring back those California Raisin claymation or stopmotion show-stoppers. Those guys were trippppppp-y, man!
Plus, Marvin Gaye rules.
Yep, that looks like my brain on drugs–Smiley Bacon Face!!
OMG, you see that, too?
I used to work for a large, multi-center drug treatment study. One of the techs showed me a PET scan of a long-term crack cocaine addict's brain. It was a sort of irregular, crumpled mass huddled over in one corner of the inside of the skull. I asked why that image wasn't used to replace the fried eggs in the "This is your brain on drugs" commercial, and he was all like, "Oh come on, you don't think this 'war on drugs' is serious, do you?"
"Latin-American leaders are rightly outraged that their citizens continue to suffer because of America’s drug habits."
I'm going to go and send my drug mule an Edible Arrangements basket, just because I care.
That'll be really hard for him to smuggle home…
Crap, I should have asked for them to take the skin off the pineapple.
Um, I'd like that with bacon and rashers, please…..oh, and some strawberry jam on rye toast, and….
and some peanut m & m's and peanut butter cups, and snickers bars and cool ranch doritos please.
Seriously wft Diane. Drug prohibition is an EPIC fail. Legalize and tax = deficit go away and I can finally get my neighborhood pharmacy to deliver my "anti-anxiety medication"
"Swift sanctions when those tests are positive"
You mean like cutting off their access to medicine and food like in Iraq? (Or just medicinal marijuana?) or putting folks in jail? It's jail isn't it? Cause Cali ain't got enough people riding the lock up train, and Dianne's got some stocks in the private prison game, or what? I'm just asking…
And everybody knows there's no drugs in prison.
I'm sorry, I'm really baked. What's this all about now?
Dude!!
You know the drill: Puff puff give.
Yer…yer crazy man. Heh, I like you man, yer crazy.
/startle/
Did you just say something?
They know!
Senator Feinstein is offering a skillet breakfast to anyone willing to fill her box.
Pass.
This is making me want moar drugs. When was the last time Beefeaters made you look at your fingernail and realize that each atom in your fingernail could be its own little universe?
I love that. And I think that all the time when I smoke cigarettes and see a smoke cloud floating around my garage… each smoke particle could be a solar system where an ecology developed and died out in the 30 seconds it took to dissipate. Nicotine's a helluva drug.
The Hulk used to occasionally shrink down to this microscopic world that existed in a molecule on his purple pants. I think Marvel's inspiration for this was "Horton Hears A Who."
Actually, the creator of that story was — Harlan Ellison!
*Nerd giggle*
If he didn't sue everybody he ever passed on the street, he'd be famous instead of infamous. Oh well, at least he isn't shooting people.
I am getting old enough now that when I drink things are blurry up close. I couldn't see that shit to remember to think about it. BUT weed can make you forget that you don't remember. Yeah, still better.
Remember that time we couldn't remember remembering? 'Member?
Not remembering is how you know it was totally awesome.
I must not be doing it right, I always remember, everything!
"I am getting old enough now that when I drink things are blurry up close."
Feh.
I'm old enough now that things are blurry up close anyway.
Purple reading glasses are all well and good, but not as good as perfect vision.
"look at your fingernail and realize that each atom in your fingernail could be its own little universe?"
Pinto? Is that you?
Listen up, kids, you'll never grow up to be president if you use drugs!1!!1!
These days my go too drug of choice is fiber (keeping regular is important to me) that said I can’t see a winnable military option in the war on drugs.
So in your case, its the stems and seeds that you need?
Oh, those kids. You always need to be telling them what they shouldn't do. What's next? Reviving anti-masturbation campaigns?
Stop playing with yourself, masturbation is a gateway sex.
Is it? Because if you masturbated, nobody wants to hold your hand.
Please, don't invoke Christine O'Donnell!!
Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten!
Just doing our part to keep the shelters at capacity. It's God's work, really.
Remember when the senator said "Just Say No" to us citizens, and "Just Say Yes" to Big Pharma?
Why, like it was just yesterday.
Oh wait, it was. And the day before, and the day before that….
To jog your memories: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/…
Never forgive, never forget.
Hey, Dianne.
Why don't you tell this guy how well our valiant War on Drugs is working?
I bet he'd love to hear it.
Disgusting. And he found meth in the cell too? When I think I'm too cynical to be shocked, I read a story like that.
Or try telling it to Portugal, Mexico, Colombia, Argentina…
Looks like someone got a nice contribution from the Private Correctional Facilities Foundation of America.
I pity the fool who recycles 80s jokes.
Whatchooo talkin' 'bout Manchu!
Up yer nose with a rubber hose, Manchu!
Feinstein's father: Who taught you such empty political rhetoric?
Feinstein: I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU!
Short Dianne: Let's go back to the 80s.
Great. The DeLorean needs a tune-up though, it hasn't been started in years.
were going to have to buy plutonium from libyan terrorists and that will be hard with kadafi dead and all
Did you guys fuck up the Mr. Fusion again?!?
DO A LOT OF COKE AND VOTE FOR RONALD REAGAN
For fuck's sake, has Feinstein morphed into Ronnie's little momma Nancy, the Queen of Just Say Noes?
Gobble cocks, not coke!!
??
I thought she was the Queen of something, but I can't remember what just now.
[voiceover] "Playing the role of hack career politician defaulting to this tired and ineffective ploy today will be Dianne Feinstein"
Funding for this program was eliminated last year in spite of the fact that 85 percent of teens are aware of the advertising campaign.
And 100% of teens know who Joe Camel is.
I think I only got 15% of that joke.
Yeah, someone should inform Ms. Feinstein that the measure of success of an advertising campaign is not awareness, but conversion.
Egg-zactly. Every swinging dick in America knows who Jared is, but it hasn't solved our obesity problem.
And nor have most of us bought whore diamonds from him.
HE WENT TO JARED!!!! Fuck that guy.
Not anymore, that campaign has been dead for 15 years.
Did they have to end it after Joe Camel had his jaw removed, kinda like with the original Marlboro Man?
Surely you know of Adbusters' Joe Chemo shtick?
http://www.joechemo.org/ecard.htm
And here on DiFi's own turf, in San Fran, smoking has absolutely exploded among young people. You can walk half a block without seeing some 20 year old using a cigarette as a fashion accessory.
Let's hope it's a hipster trend – because that means it'll be over in a couple of months.
"85 percent of teens are aware of the advertising campaign"
Yeah, but 100% of people who are aware of that campaign make fun of it.
Don't jerk off: it makes you a Republican.
McGruff the Crime Dog and DARE taught me to be completely paranoid about people around me using any illicit substances, which was awesome when I had a panic attack at an outdoor Tom Petty concert and was afraid I was going to get addicted to the marijuana. That's just one step away from full-blown heroin addiction!
Like, OMG, Dianne, your idea is, like, gnarly-to-the-max! Totally.
I have always wondered: Did anyone ever *really* talk like that? Or was this subculture just the fabrication of some wannabe-hipster 80s movie writer?
My oldz is such that I was where I should have experienced first hand this alternate dialect. But all I member was it being used in a mocking sense by my then fellow not-oldz.
I can haz silly 80s wayz to sez tingz?
There was a girl who transferred to my high school from The Valley senior year (81-82). The dialect was like, totally real, fer sure.
You've never been to Jersey, have you? Women there still talk like that.
I was stationed with a guy from San Diego during 81-82 that every other word was "gnarly".
But if we legalize drugs, what will be our new Jim Crow substitute?
Whatever else the poors might be into. Maybe rap-metal? That's a persecution I can get behind.
Next will be Calories.
They should make a remake of Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue!
"There is no better way to reduce criminal recidivism. "
Nothing keeps people out of jail better than jailing them.
Think about it. You can't go back to jail if you are already in jail. Genius!
If we're having a war on the teaparty before Jenna Bush is preznit, I am totally getting a gun. Yipee ki yay motherfuckers, etc and so on.
"Drugs?"
"Thank you, no. I'm straight."
"I meant, are you in here for drugs?"
"Why are you here?"
"Drugs."
Charlie Sheen has always been a big believer in method acting.
Hey, look how well "abstinence only" works! This is bound to succeed, its the same thing, but with drugs!
But "abstinence only" would work if it weren't for the damn drugs!
Drugs won the War on Drugs.
Or perhaps a penitentiary Ponzi scheme won the war on drugz. Penitentiaries, America's last growth industry.
I for one welcome our green sativa overlords.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpB8OT90K80
I prob saw the very first "brain on drugs" ad when it was very first broadcastededed and I still have no idea what "Any questions?" was supposed to mean. I smoke the reefer to deal with this confusion.
"I have a question. Are you going to eat that egg?"
Whenever I saw the bacon and egg sizzling and cooking all I wanted to do is turn on and munch out. I loves da bacaon.
Bacon… Nature's heroin.
Random drugs tests for all members of the U.S. Congress. Anyone testing negative should be thrown into the black hole of Calcutta
Calcutta, the dancer at the Wild West in Lake Worth? Her hole could use some bleaching, but I wouldn't go so far to call it "black".
Well, I'm certainly not going to vote for Orly Taitz over Dianne Feinstein. Where I live, I get Orly Taitz and Gary Kreep on the ballot. Kreep is running for one of the judicial seats. Fortunately, I'm close to Issa's district but not actually in it or I'd have to run against the bastard myself.
I would jump districts just to vote for you.
Remember the "Brain on drugs" ad where the girl smashed everything in the kitchen with a frying pan? That was so hot.
I've been smoking dope since college and I just want to know: when do I get to graduate to the harder stuff? I mean, like when?
I had a discussion with my liver and he said he would appreciate it if I went back to marijuana.
Didn't we just conduct a war on drugs? Christ, we would've had to have been on drugs to think invading Iraq was a good idea.
Feinstein is really strange. She must wake up some mornings thinking, "I want to say something extra stupid today".
Dianne Feinstein never met civil liberty she didn't like…. to restrict!
Seriously, she's horrible. You'd think a one-party state like California and a hippie libtard outpost like San Francisco would produce a wild-eyed liberal. Instead, we get Joe Lieberman in a dress.
Personally, I blame that asshole who shot Milk and Moscone and gave ol' Dianne the opening to become Mayor of San Francisco. Fuck you very much, Dan White!
Fuck you, guy who invented Twinkies!
Probationers are already subject to random drug testing. I suppose we could quadruple the current number of tests. After all, the full-to-bursting California prison system could really use an influx of potheads.
How about random drug testing of members of Congress? Even better, random IQ tests.
The latter will really scare them.
"After all, the full-to-bursting California prison system could really use an influx of potheads."
also, I understand that California has ass loads of money in their budget, so I'm sure they could spare a few million for something not at all pointless.
"make the connection between U.S. drug use and violence in Mexico."
Oh, let me make it….
The drugs are illegal, so violent gangs control everything involved.
How did I do?
My first thought when I go to replenish my stash is always "gee, I hope the cartel who supplied this is using fair trade practices and putting the profits towards a worthy cause."
My brains look delish!
Nancy Reagan coined the now-famous slogan “Just say no”
She was actually talking about how to help the homeless.
Sadly her husband didn't take her advice and spent his time in the White House on acid 24×7.
Today's Repubicans certainly learned from her.
Although her strategy was criticized, she was able to use
the White Househip young TV show Diff'rent Strokes as a national platform to address these issues./FIFY
I remember that "very special episode." Worked out well for the cast, eh?
I believe Dana Plato went on to a very lucrative career.
Didn't I read somewhere, a long time ago, that kids in the 80's like me, who went through the D.A.R.E. program were actually MORE likely to do drugs when they got older?
Shiiiiit, D.A.R.E. was where I first learned about the really good stuff. Growing up in a neighborhood full of crackheads kept me off crack, D.A.R.E. had nothing to do with it.
Yes, it is true, Dare has repeatedly been shown to be not merely ineffective, but counterproductive. But it is a necessary program, as it funds the placement of police officers in schools where they have easy access to underage girls.
Dianne's not here, man.
Hey, c'mon man!
I'm thinking that Dianne is just sitting in her cubicle, trying to look busy, you guys.
Why, Fi?
This stuff totally works. I remember when I was a kid, they showed us movies in school about the evils of drugs and in one of them, a guy who was "tripping" on "the LSD" looked into a mirror and a guy in a gorilla suit was looking back and I thought, Cool. Gorilla.
Or something like that. I may have been pretty baked at the time…
I remember a movie that opened with a boy and girl smoking PCP, then they drove off a cliff going "Wheeeeeeee!"
Those after school specials used to crack us up.
I always enjoyed the anti-drug Dragnet episodes.
"LSD is the BOMB!"
*ssssssssssssssspiff*
Dude,allyouhavetodoispublishpicturesofCheech&Chongonthepacksofjointsthegubmintwillsell…..
*PWHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH*
Oh yea, that's the stuff…
It seems the most reliable way to make some phenomenon a permanent part of our culture is to declare war on it. Poverty, drugs, terror, what a great track record of wars we have.
Women and Christmas are going well too.
Damn straight. Let's declare a war on wars!!!
As always, we are ten years after.
Yes please, let's continue throwing good money after bad on something that completely works – not.
I don't know how you tell the little fuckers running around cracked out on Adderall not to do drugs anyway. Just say no to SOME drugs, some drugs you have to take – for school.
Don't you be knocking the adderall, baby. I just jammed out a 6-page issue paper, and one that actually cites to facts and law. Then at night, my doc wrote me up for some downers, too. So I am living like Elvis, all totes legal, better living through chemicals.
I'm more of a low rent Elvis most days, all caffeine and benedryl, BUT I appreciate Adderall to be sure. My house is never cleaner and I am never thinner – I just fear the heart attack monster so I can't do it a lot – I can get it just from talking to any medical professional for five minutes though – we are a spazz outloud sometimes, imagine. My dad's words of wisdom as I smiled at him thru a xanax and champagne haze were "better living thru chemistry, kid" right before I walked down the aisle. (which as you know, makes my episcopalian marriage void if they REALLY held you to the "don't do this intoxicated" sacrament thing)
which as you know, makes my episcopalian marriage void if they REALLY held you to the "don't do this intoxicated" sacrament thing
It's always good to have an escape plan – just in case.
Just in case prommie is her soulmate?
Dianne Feinstein is our “Democrat,”
Exactly, Rebecca.
And in the very same ways, so is "our" President.
They share similar views and policies regarding the "war on drugs", "war on terror", protecting banksters, and making the little people pay for it all.
So why do you think "Bammerz" is your friend?
~
Uh, wait a sec… flip it around…
"The war on drugs needs to be done away with because if they are legal there won't be any desire for criminals to be involved."
There.
Seriously, every doc I have watched, and particularly the one about BC, Canada – says it is the dealers wanting the shit to stay as illegal as any legislator. All that money money money based purely on the illegality of it all is too much for them to EVER wanna see that shit go legit.
Love is the drug for me.
Roxy Music
Jenna Bush, President of the Confederacy (of Dunces).
John Kennedy O'Toole Libel!
Okay, so , like, who wants shrimp tacos??!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The ones without the eyes?
Yum!
Probably have eyes, but they're from Mexico…soooo……ya know……
Extra guac on mine!
The "D" isn't for "Democrat," but for "Disney."
It's a common mistake.
You go to war with the drugs you have, not with the drugs you wish to have.
And as a result of her successfull, pioneering work, the 1980's are fondly remembered today for the profound absense of drug use during that decade.
And hair bands.
(Orange you glad I didn't link a Mötley Crüe video?)
~
Sometimes, your brain dries up, withers, fades and goes insane even without the use of drugs. Just ask Ted Nugent.
Someone was watching all the history of drug shows on the Science Channel last night.
"Bacon is a hell of a drug."
*ominous voice*
This is your ass.
This is our ass on bacon.
Any questions?
This Feinstein woman is clearly ON something. Her hair looks like a 50's Toni home perm, and she speaks very slowly. Could be she's a Merry Prankster playing a L-O-N-G con. Remind me to never move to, or even visit, California.
I've got a gun. I'll protect us.
Immediately where my mind went…
Whoaaaaaaa.
"I pity the poor fool who don't eat my cereal!"
Summer must be coming. Feinstein's already broadcasting forgettable reruns from the 80s.
Wow, I got my post ban-hammered. Damn uppity Editrix.
I BANHAMMERED NUSSINK.
Dianne Feinstein: All the evidence I need to support Term Limits.
In the early 1980s, former first lady Nancy Reagan coined the now-famous slogan “Just say no” as part of her national anti-drug campaign.
Yeah, and that was a real success…not followed by the crack wars or anything at all!
Sigh…
Here's a crazy idea, courtesy of the Nixon Administration: Get the emphasis on treatment. Treat addiction as a medical priority, not a law enforcement priority.
I know, pie-in-the-sky idealism, innit?
Nixon's was the most Socialist and Criminal Democratic Administration!!11!
When I was a teenager I had a poster on my wall that went thusly from top to bottom:
Pic of empty skillet with caption "This is your brain."
Pic of skillet with scrambled eggs with caption "This is your brain on drugs."
Pic of skillet with scrambled eggs, bacon, and caption "This is your brain with a side order of bacon."
This was in the late eighties – early nineties. Yep, that "Just Say No" campaign sure worked wonders.
I had the same thing on a T-shirt.
Say what you want about the "this is your brain on fried eggs" commercial, it's still not as creepy as the commercial with the two animated pieces of cereal licking each other.
You really have to ask yourself, what kind of drugs were these people on to come up with this shit?
In my day, the anti-drug messages scared the shit out of EVERYONE
(Nightmare Fuel Warning: this ad left me, at the age of about 7, afraid to be alone in any room with the TV on.)
See also Kindertrauma on this PSA
"Latin-American leaders are rightly outraged that their citizens continue to suffer because of America’s drug habits"
Are their citizens suffering because most Americans are now too poor to afford drugs, or what?
Test probationers, and if they test positive, send them back to prison. I do not think that "reduce criminal recidivism" means what DiFi thinks it means.
"the tobacco companies already have brand names trademarked, ya know"
I have eaten shopping bags of fine Pacific Northwest schrooms…and experienced a world made out of tiny little hotdogs, got lost in my bathroom for hours, saw my hand in a completely new and different way, felt the vibrations of peace across all living things, talked with with Trees, and became one with everything. I felt love, peace and the joy of being alive….
But never…never!!…did I ONCE look at an egg and confuse it with my brain….
I'm borrowing here, but some stand-up comedian made the observation that, somewhere along the line, there stopped being any spectrum of opinion on "drugs" — or even any serious research on what "drugs" actually do — and politicians just started trying to outdo each other on how vehemently against "drugs" they were:
Politician 1: I'm against drugs.
Politician 2: I really, really hate drugs a lot.
Politician 3: Not only do I really, really hate drugs a lot, I believe they lead to jazz and dating white women.
I'll post a snark later, because right now I have to go take my Oxy.
How old is Feinstein, again? She hasn't like gone senile and forgotten she's running in *California*, right?
I keep voting against that bitch and she keeps getting elected.
Tell me again that Californians aren't weird, because I am not convinced.
Oh, well, hell that's why God made Xanax.
True fact, xanax is notoriously bad for your memory. Hey, did I ever tell you before, Xanax is really bad for your memory. Are you my mommy?
For reals – I know there WAS a summer of 1992, and that I was alive when it occured, but I got nothing.
Now every bitch I know has a bottle of that mother's little helper in her coach bag (my script is currently unfilled, my coach bag just has ibuprophen and cough syrup – yeehaw…we'll see how long that lasts…)
Pull a Louis Black and smoke a cig on NyQuil. It's like a white man's bong.
I've got old school robitussin with codeine, and I NEVAH wanna smoke cigs (which I quit yrs ago) MORE than when I am on NyQuil (love) or narcotic style cough stoppers – a million nicotine addicted heroine junkies can't be wrong!!!
Does it work with percocets?
It's mostly white men that use bongs.
Fakakta, I get the feeling you and I could head down to Pensacola beach, sip hurricanes and pop uppers, gawk at the eye candy, and just have a grand ole time together.
A while ago Mrs. Sulli was channel-surfing and spotted the Priest she liked enough to actually get to church for occasionally before he moved on, on Telecare.
I believe the discussion got around to weight loss, and Jared's name came up. Father Jim declared "I hate that guy. I really do."
I see why my wife liked him ;)
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