any questions?

California Senator Dianne Feinstein Has Hot New Idea For Drug War: ‘Just Say No’

This is your brain on drugs. Order up!California Senator and world’s greatest Democrat Dianne Feinstein has done some creative thinking on the scourge that is Drugs, and she has some terrific ideas that are fresh and new and “outside-the-box” and other fresh and new ways of saying “outside the box”! What is her first great idea? Moar Drug War please!

We must pull back the curtains on the false debate between legalizing drugs and current drug policy. [...] Latin-American leaders are rightly outraged that their citizens continue to suffer because of America’s drug habits.

Except that they would all like us to legalize drugs, because when’s the last time you saw Bartles kill Jaymes with a machete? (The answer, for our slower friends and Sen. Feinstein is: during Prohibition.) But what other creative thinking has Feinstein done? She would like to spend hundreds of millions of dollars again on those stupid “This Is Your Brain on Drugs” commercials that launched a million novelty tees! Because having 40 million children laugh at you while baked is total Feinsteinian SUCCESS!

First, we should once again make anti-drug campaigns a priority. In the early 1980s, former first lady Nancy Reagan coined the now-famous slogan “Just say no” as part of her national anti-drug campaign.

Although her strategy was criticized, she was able to use the White House as a national platform to address these issues.

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Next, Congress should refund the Office of National Drug Control Policy’s youth media campaign — the only national media campaign dedicated to reducing youth drug use. Funding for this program was eliminated last year in spite of the fact that 85 percent of teens are aware of the advertising campaign.

This campaign should be provided with the funding it deserves and expanded to make the connection between U.S. drug use and violence in Mexico.

Finally, we can invest in probation programs that allow for random drug testing for probationers and swift sanctions when those tests are positive. There is no better way to reduce criminal recidivism.

Drug test everyone! More propaganda muneez for ONDCP! And bring back the universally mocked, loathed and discredited Just Say No! Get used to it, California. Dianne Feinstein is our “Democrat,” and she will never die, and we will keep reelecting her and wheeling her into the US Senate when she is 150, like Strom Thurmond, and Jenna Bush is president of the Confederacy (which will be all of us, since we will have lost the Great Tea Party War of 2019, because we are hippies and don’t have guns). Hooray! [TheHill]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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195 comments

  1. Mumbletypeg

    While you're at it Senator… bring back those California Raisin claymation or stopmotion show-stoppers. Those guys were trippppppp-y, man!

    1. OneYieldRegular

      I used to work for a large, multi-center drug treatment study. One of the techs showed me a PET scan of a long-term crack cocaine addict's brain. It was a sort of irregular, crumpled mass huddled over in one corner of the inside of the skull. I asked why that image wasn't used to replace the fried eggs in the "This is your brain on drugs" commercial, and he was all like, "Oh come on, you don't think this 'war on drugs' is serious, do you?"

  2. Barb

    "Latin-American leaders are rightly outraged that their citizens continue to suffer because of America’s drug habits."

    I'm going to go and send my drug mule an Edible Arrangements basket, just because I care.

  3. Toomush_Infer

    Um, I'd like that with bacon and rashers, please…..oh, and some strawberry jam on rye toast, and….

    1. mrpuma2u

      and some peanut m & m's and peanut butter cups, and snickers bars and cool ranch doritos please.

      Seriously wft Diane. Drug prohibition is an EPIC fail. Legalize and tax = deficit go away and I can finally get my neighborhood pharmacy to deliver my "anti-anxiety medication"

  4. FakaktaSouth

    "Swift sanctions when those tests are positive"

    You mean like cutting off their access to medicine and food like in Iraq? (Or just medicinal marijuana?) or putting folks in jail? It's jail isn't it? Cause Cali ain't got enough people riding the lock up train, and Dianne's got some stocks in the private prison game, or what? I'm just asking…

  5. prommie

    This is making me want moar drugs. When was the last time Beefeaters made you look at your fingernail and realize that each atom in your fingernail could be its own little universe?

    1. Designer_Rants

      I love that. And I think that all the time when I smoke cigarettes and see a smoke cloud floating around my garage… each smoke particle could be a solar system where an ecology developed and died out in the 30 seconds it took to dissipate. Nicotine's a helluva drug.

      1. Chet Kincaid

        The Hulk used to occasionally shrink down to this microscopic world that existed in a molecule on his purple pants. I think Marvel's inspiration for this was "Horton Hears A Who."

          1. Chet Kincaid

            If he didn't sue everybody he ever passed on the street, he'd be famous instead of infamous. Oh well, at least he isn't shooting people.

    2. FakaktaSouth

      I am getting old enough now that when I drink things are blurry up close. I couldn't see that shit to remember to think about it. BUT weed can make you forget that you don't remember. Yeah, still better.

          1. prommie

            True fact, xanax is notoriously bad for your memory. Hey, did I ever tell you before, Xanax is really bad for your memory. Are you my mommy?

          2. FakaktaSouth

            For reals – I know there WAS a summer of 1992, and that I was alive when it occured, but I got nothing.
            Now every bitch I know has a bottle of that mother's little helper in her coach bag (my script is currently unfilled, my coach bag just has ibuprophen and cough syrup – yeehaw…we'll see how long that lasts…)

          3. FakaktaSouth

            I've got old school robitussin with codeine, and I NEVAH wanna smoke cigs (which I quit yrs ago) MORE than when I am on NyQuil (love) or narcotic style cough stoppers – a million nicotine addicted heroine junkies can't be wrong!!!

          4. Fare la Volpe

            Fakakta, I get the feeling you and I could head down to Pensacola beach, sip hurricanes and pop uppers, gawk at the eye candy, and just have a grand ole time together.

      1. tessiee

        "I am getting old enough now that when I drink things are blurry up close."

        Feh.
        I'm old enough now that things are blurry up close anyway.
        Purple reading glasses are all well and good, but not as good as perfect vision.

    3. tessiee

      "look at your fingernail and realize that each atom in your fingernail could be its own little universe?"

      Pinto? Is that you?

  6. widestanceromance

    Listen up, kids, you'll never grow up to be president if you use drugs!1!!1!

  7. Goonemeritus

    These days my go too drug of choice is fiber (keeping regular is important to me) that said I can’t see a winnable military option in the war on drugs.

  8. el_donaldo

    Oh, those kids. You always need to be telling them what they shouldn't do. What's next? Reviving anti-masturbation campaigns?

      1. bagofmice

        Just doing our part to keep the shelters at capacity. It's God's work, really.

    1. sullivanst

      Why, like it was just yesterday.

      Oh wait, it was. And the day before, and the day before that….

  9. chicken_thief

    Looks like someone got a nice contribution from the Private Correctional Facilities Foundation of America.

    1. Generation[redacted]

      Great. The DeLorean needs a tune-up though, it hasn't been started in years.

      1. Sir_Fartz_Alot

        were going to have to buy plutonium from libyan terrorists and that will be hard with kadafi dead and all

    1. tessiee

      ??
      I thought she was the Queen of something, but I can't remember what just now.

  10. widestanceromance

    [voiceover] "Playing the role of hack career politician defaulting to this tired and ineffective ploy today will be Dianne Feinstein"

  11. SexySmurf

    Funding for this program was eliminated last year in spite of the fact that 85 percent of teens are aware of the advertising campaign.

    And 100% of teens know who Joe Camel is.

    1. sullivanst

      Yeah, someone should inform Ms. Feinstein that the measure of success of an advertising campaign is not awareness, but conversion.

      1. chicken_thief

        Egg-zactly. Every swinging dick in America knows who Jared is, but it hasn't solved our obesity problem.

          1. sullivanst

            A while ago Mrs. Sulli was channel-surfing and spotted the Priest she liked enough to actually get to church for occasionally before he moved on, on Telecare.

            I believe the discussion got around to weight loss, and Jared's name came up. Father Jim declared "I hate that guy. I really do."

            I see why my wife liked him ;)

      1. SexySmurf

        Did they have to end it after Joe Camel had his jaw removed, kinda like with the original Marlboro Man?

    2. OneYieldRegular

      And here on DiFi's own turf, in San Fran, smoking has absolutely exploded among young people. You can walk half a block without seeing some 20 year old using a cigarette as a fashion accessory.

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        Let's hope it's a hipster trend – because that means it'll be over in a couple of months.

    3. tessiee

      "85 percent of teens are aware of the advertising campaign"

      Yeah, but 100% of people who are aware of that campaign make fun of it.

  12. ratcityrebel

    McGruff the Crime Dog and DARE taught me to be completely paranoid about people around me using any illicit substances, which was awesome when I had a panic attack at an outdoor Tom Petty concert and was afraid I was going to get addicted to the marijuana. That's just one step away from full-blown heroin addiction!

    1. OldWhiteLies

      I have always wondered: Did anyone ever *really* talk like that? Or was this subculture just the fabrication of some wannabe-hipster 80s movie writer?

      My oldz is such that I was where I should have experienced first hand this alternate dialect. But all I member was it being used in a mocking sense by my then fellow not-oldz.

      I can haz silly 80s wayz to sez tingz?

      1. MosesInvests

        There was a girl who transferred to my high school from The Valley senior year (81-82). The dialect was like, totally real, fer sure.

    2. GOPCrusher

      I was stationed with a guy from San Diego during 81-82 that every other word was "gnarly".

    1. el_donaldo

      Whatever else the poors might be into. Maybe rap-metal? That's a persecution I can get behind.

  13. Biel_ze_Bubba

    "There is no better way to reduce criminal recidivism. "

    Nothing keeps people out of jail better than jailing them.

  14. FakaktaSouth

    If we're having a war on the teaparty before Jenna Bush is preznit, I am totally getting a gun. Yipee ki yay motherfuckers, etc and so on.

  15. prommie

    Hey, look how well "abstinence only" works! This is bound to succeed, its the same thing, but with drugs!

  16. AddHomonym

    I prob saw the very first "brain on drugs" ad when it was very first broadcastededed and I still have no idea what "Any questions?" was supposed to mean. I smoke the reefer to deal with this confusion.

    1. Jimmyone

      Whenever I saw the bacon and egg sizzling and cooking all I wanted to do is turn on and munch out. I loves da bacaon.

  17. metamarcisf

    Random drugs tests for all members of the U.S. Congress. Anyone testing negative should be thrown into the black hole of Calcutta

    1. chicken_thief

      Calcutta, the dancer at the Wild West in Lake Worth? Her hole could use some bleaching, but I wouldn't go so far to call it "black".

  18. Steverino247

    Well, I'm certainly not going to vote for Orly Taitz over Dianne Feinstein. Where I live, I get Orly Taitz and Gary Kreep on the ballot. Kreep is running for one of the judicial seats. Fortunately, I'm close to Issa's district but not actually in it or I'd have to run against the bastard myself.

  19. Stevola

    Remember the "Brain on drugs" ad where the girl smashed everything in the kitchen with a frying pan? That was so hot.

  20. metamarcisf

    I've been smoking dope since college and I just want to know: when do I get to graduate to the harder stuff? I mean, like when?

    1. GOPCrusher

      I had a discussion with my liver and he said he would appreciate it if I went back to marijuana.

  21. Respitetini

    Didn't we just conduct a war on drugs? Christ, we would've had to have been on drugs to think invading Iraq was a good idea.

  22. Taj_Mahalo

    Dianne Feinstein never met civil liberty she didn't like…. to restrict!

    Seriously, she's horrible. You'd think a one-party state like California and a hippie libtard outpost like San Francisco would produce a wild-eyed liberal. Instead, we get Joe Lieberman in a dress.

    Personally, I blame that asshole who shot Milk and Moscone and gave ol' Dianne the opening to become Mayor of San Francisco. Fuck you very much, Dan White!

  23. Hera Sent Me

    Probationers are already subject to random drug testing. I suppose we could quadruple the current number of tests. After all, the full-to-bursting California prison system could really use an influx of potheads.

    How about random drug testing of members of Congress? Even better, random IQ tests.

    The latter will really scare them.

    1. tessiee

      "After all, the full-to-bursting California prison system could really use an influx of potheads."

      also, I understand that California has ass loads of money in their budget, so I'm sure they could spare a few million for something not at all pointless.

  24. iburl

    "make the connection between U.S. drug use and violence in Mexico."

    Oh, let me make it….

    The drugs are illegal, so violent gangs control everything involved.

    How did I do?

    1. chicken_thief

      My first thought when I go to replenish my stash is always "gee, I hope the cartel who supplied this is using fair trade practices and putting the profits towards a worthy cause."

  25. JustPixelz

    Nancy Reagan coined the now-famous slogan “Just say no”

    She was actually talking about how to help the homeless.

    Sadly her husband didn't take her advice and spent his time in the White House on acid 24×7.

    Today's Repubicans certainly learned from her.

  26. Generation[redacted]

    Although her strategy was criticized, she was able to use the White House hip young TV show Diff'rent Strokes as a national platform to address these issues.

    /FIFY

  27. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Didn't I read somewhere, a long time ago, that kids in the 80's like me, who went through the D.A.R.E. program were actually MORE likely to do drugs when they got older?

    1. vodkamuppet

      Shiiiiit, D.A.R.E. was where I first learned about the really good stuff. Growing up in a neighborhood full of crackheads kept me off crack, D.A.R.E. had nothing to do with it.

    2. prommie

      Yes, it is true, Dare has repeatedly been shown to be not merely ineffective, but counterproductive. But it is a necessary program, as it funds the placement of police officers in schools where they have easy access to underage girls.

  28. SheriffRoscoe

    I'm thinking that Dianne is just sitting in her cubicle, trying to look busy, you guys.

  29. FNMA

    This stuff totally works. I remember when I was a kid, they showed us movies in school about the evils of drugs and in one of them, a guy who was "tripping" on "the LSD" looked into a mirror and a guy in a gorilla suit was looking back and I thought, Cool. Gorilla.
    Or something like that. I may have been pretty baked at the time…

    1. Generation[redacted]

      I remember a movie that opened with a boy and girl smoking PCP, then they drove off a cliff going "Wheeeeeeee!"

      Those after school specials used to crack us up.

  30. actor212

    *ssssssssssssssspiff*

    Dude,allyouhavetodoispublishpicturesofCheech&Chongonthepacksofjointsthegubmintwillsell…..

    *PWHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH*

    Oh yea, that's the stuff…

  31. prommie

    It seems the most reliable way to make some phenomenon a permanent part of our culture is to declare war on it. Poverty, drugs, terror, what a great track record of wars we have.

  32. hagajim

    Yes please, let's continue throwing good money after bad on something that completely works – not.

  33. FakaktaSouth

    I don't know how you tell the little fuckers running around cracked out on Adderall not to do drugs anyway. Just say no to SOME drugs, some drugs you have to take – for school.

    1. prommie

      Don't you be knocking the adderall, baby. I just jammed out a 6-page issue paper, and one that actually cites to facts and law. Then at night, my doc wrote me up for some downers, too. So I am living like Elvis, all totes legal, better living through chemicals.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        I'm more of a low rent Elvis most days, all caffeine and benedryl, BUT I appreciate Adderall to be sure. My house is never cleaner and I am never thinner – I just fear the heart attack monster so I can't do it a lot – I can get it just from talking to any medical professional for five minutes though – we are a spazz outloud sometimes, imagine. My dad's words of wisdom as I smiled at him thru a xanax and champagne haze were "better living thru chemistry, kid" right before I walked down the aisle. (which as you know, makes my episcopalian marriage void if they REALLY held you to the "don't do this intoxicated" sacrament thing)

        1. HistoriCat

          which as you know, makes my episcopalian marriage void if they REALLY held you to the "don't do this intoxicated" sacrament thing

          It's always good to have an escape plan – just in case.

  34. DaRooster

    Uh, wait a sec… flip it around…

    "The war on drugs needs to be done away with because if they are legal there won't be any desire for criminals to be involved."
    There.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      Seriously, every doc I have watched, and particularly the one about BC, Canada – says it is the dealers wanting the shit to stay as illegal as any legislator. All that money money money based purely on the illegality of it all is too much for them to EVER wanna see that shit go legit.

  35. Mumbly_Joe

    In the early 1980s, former first lady Nancy Reagan coined the now-famous slogan “Just say no” as part of her national anti-drug campaign.

    And as a result of her successfull, pioneering work, the 1980's are fondly remembered today for the profound absense of drug use during that decade.

  36. thefrontpage

    Sometimes, your brain dries up, withers, fades and goes insane even without the use of drugs. Just ask Ted Nugent.

  37. lloydstool

    This Feinstein woman is clearly ON something. Her hair looks like a 50's Toni home perm, and she speaks very slowly. Could be she's a Merry Prankster playing a L-O-N-G con. Remind me to never move to, or even visit, California.

  38. randcoolcatdaddy

    Summer must be coming. Feinstein's already broadcasting forgettable reruns from the 80s.

  39. Callyson

    In the early 1980s, former first lady Nancy Reagan coined the now-famous slogan “Just say no” as part of her national anti-drug campaign.

    Yeah, and that was a real success…not followed by the crack wars or anything at all!

    Sigh…

  40. Doktor StrangeZoom

    Here's a crazy idea, courtesy of the Nixon Administration: Get the emphasis on treatment. Treat addiction as a medical priority, not a law enforcement priority.

    I know, pie-in-the-sky idealism, innit?

  41. imissopus

    When I was a teenager I had a poster on my wall that went thusly from top to bottom:

    Pic of empty skillet with caption "This is your brain."

    Pic of skillet with scrambled eggs with caption "This is your brain on drugs."

    Pic of skillet with scrambled eggs, bacon, and caption "This is your brain with a side order of bacon."

    This was in the late eighties – early nineties. Yep, that "Just Say No" campaign sure worked wonders.

  42. tessiee

    Say what you want about the "this is your brain on fried eggs" commercial, it's still not as creepy as the commercial with the two animated pieces of cereal licking each other.

    1. GOPCrusher

      You really have to ask yourself, what kind of drugs were these people on to come up with this shit?

      1. Doktor StrangeZoom

        In my day, the anti-drug messages scared the shit out of EVERYONE

        (Nightmare Fuel Warning: this ad left me, at the age of about 7, afraid to be alone in any room with the TV on.)

        See also Kindertrauma on this PSA

  43. tessiee

    "Latin-American leaders are rightly outraged that their citizens continue to suffer because of America’s drug habits"

    Are their citizens suffering because most Americans are now too poor to afford drugs, or what?

  44. OneYieldRegular

    Test probationers, and if they test positive, send them back to prison. I do not think that "reduce criminal recidivism" means what DiFi thinks it means.

  45. UW8316154

    I have eaten shopping bags of fine Pacific Northwest schrooms…and experienced a world made out of tiny little hotdogs, got lost in my bathroom for hours, saw my hand in a completely new and different way, felt the vibrations of peace across all living things, talked with with Trees, and became one with everything. I felt love, peace and the joy of being alive….

    But never…never!!…did I ONCE look at an egg and confuse it with my brain….

  46. tessiee

    I'm borrowing here, but some stand-up comedian made the observation that, somewhere along the line, there stopped being any spectrum of opinion on "drugs" — or even any serious research on what "drugs" actually do — and politicians just started trying to outdo each other on how vehemently against "drugs" they were:
    Politician 1: I'm against drugs.
    Politician 2: I really, really hate drugs a lot.
    Politician 3: Not only do I really, really hate drugs a lot, I believe they lead to jazz and dating white women.

  47. keinsignal

    How old is Feinstein, again? She hasn't like gone senile and forgotten she's running in *California*, right?

  48. Beanball

    I keep voting against that bitch and she keeps getting elected.

    Tell me again that Californians aren't weird, because I am not convinced.

Comments are closed.