Joe the Plumber went to the White House, you guys, and he stood outside the gates and couldn’t get in. That is no way to treat some random schlub running for Congress from … let’s see … Ohio! Sad face! What is the newest Michael Moore doing in his hot new film “Barack & Me”? Just complaining, mostly. He is very sad and mad and other words that mean those words, because Barack Obama is too busy “golfing” to meet with the world’s most famous “plumber,” “Joe the.” So Joe goes and stands in line with the other common folk, including a large group in matching chartreuse, and then the large group in matching chartreuse is gone, but Joe is still there! It is almost as if it was his turn to go in but that would not have made good film of him getting turned away from the White House! Why does the White House hate Joe the Plumber, and America?
“Dear Mister President,” says Joe’s blog post, “I stopped by your house the other day because I wanted to talk with you about what’s happened since we last met.” [Blah blah blah, et cetera, golf, fancy vacations, job creators, blah]
Mister President, I think it’s time you and I continued our conversation.
I tried early and late, but you weren’t home and I couldn’t find anyone to take a message. Perhaps you had a good score at the golf course today? Any luck getting more campaign donations? I’m sure that’s taking up a lot of your energy.
Joe’s video and blog post don’t say which “the other day” he went and sulked outside the White House, but surely it couldn’t have been this day. Because then complaining that the president was out golfing would have been disingenuous, and that is a thing that “Joe” “the plumber” would never, evar be. Nope. Just the facts, ma’am, that’s our “Joe.”
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Sorry Joe, all the White House toilets are working today, unlike you.
Like he's an actual plumber, I get it.
I'm sure there are millions of other unemployed people that have a better reason to visit the President.
congrats on triple digits! Wonk empress of wit.
Thanks, I've hit 300 and 400 before, lol.
Wow. extreme wit envy here.
Alt text win.
This Joe is NOT a big fucking deal. Not even worth a rat's fuck, actually.
I'm sorry but why is this asshole still breathing? Ugh!
If Joe T. Plumber (who isn't named "Joe" and isn't a plumber, of course) wants to visit the White House, he should go see his Representative and get a tour ticket. Just like everybody else.
The days of just anyone getting into the White House are gone now, "Joe." George Bush (43) is no longer the President. Who does this guy think he is, Jeff Gannon?
Did he visit the Watergate building? I seem to remember that there were some famous plumbers working there, many years ago.
Dear Joe:
Last I checked, I was still the President and you were still an attention-whoring has-been. Now fuck off, before I sic the Secret Service on you.
No love,
Barry
Dear "Joe":
FIFY
I hope that's a real letter.
I don't think he's even a "has-been." You would have actually had to have been something to be a has-been. Samel-not-a-Plumber is a "never-was".
The White House staff missed a golden opportunity to get that leaky toilet fixed.
When it comes to action, I don't think Joe (he's kind of like a plumber) can perform.
"Joe" doesn't even know how to spell his fake name properly. You think he knows jack squat about his fake profession?
Obama missed a "golden" opportunity to piss on Joe's shining pate from the White House balcony.
Joe Biden's mouth cannot be fixed.
Nice "Toddlers and Tiaras" smile, Joe!
Everywhere. Like such as.
And also too, you betcha.
*wink*
So, wait. Any asshole can just show up to chat with the President?
Oh, that's right. No. Any random asshole can not just show up for a chat with the President. I thought I was in bizarro world for a moment.
No, sorry. Bizarro world is right next door to Arizona though, if that helps.
I got my GPS on my phone see… so I know these things.
Dear God, if you're still in a smiting mood, THIS GUY RIGHT HERE …
Small bit of advice for those fine, upstanding, douche bag citizens seeking an audience with the Prez.: PUT ON A PAIR OF APPROPRIATE SLACKS AND A NICE SHIRT YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
It would also be a good idea to call for an appointment, going through your Congressional delegation is a good start.
Of course it helps if you're not calling your Congress person a Socialist asshole because you are trying to take their job.
Yes, well, there's that.
His usual 'court day' outfit was still sopping something up in his trailer.
If I was ever lucky enough to have an appointment with our Prez the first thing I'd do is beg and plead for a consultation with Tim Gunn.
The President was busy on the phone with Bristol Palin.
Yes, he saw her Facebook page where she professed to be a God-fearing Christian in an attempt to make us forget what a Godless whore she really is.
I'm not saying she's a hoe, but she breaks into a cold sweat when she enters a church.
This is the church
and this is the steeple
open my legs
and see all the people
Fare, I love ya so much that I left my Zuma game to post this. Now I have to start over.
Worth it <3
I don't mind hoes. In fact, I'm rather quite fond of them.
Hypocrites, on the other hand…
"she breaks into a cold sweat when she enters a church."
That's not hoes, that's heathens, and…
AGGGHHH!!
The holy water!
It burns!
It BURRRNNNNSS!
I thought you'd like to hear how all that is working out for us out here in
the real world.my rage driven fantasy that the world cares about what I do.You'd think this turd would've ran out of money by now.
Why do you think he couldn't get into the tour?
Wingnut welfare never runs out.
Has he even paid his back taxes yet?
His buddy Joe Walsh told him he didn't have to. Getting all that financial stuff straightened out to run for Congress is just a formality no one pays attention to.
… Ohio! Sad face!
TELL ME ABOUT IT!
~
Joe’s video and blog post don’t say which “the other day”
" but he did say it ended in Y after someone pointed it out to him."
Oh, for Christ sake, Sam, shut the fuck up.
Just the facts, I think Joe Friday would have jailed this fucker for impersonating a licensed plumber.
Ummm … excuse me, Not Joe the Not A Plumber, but, um, what's that on your site? Is it a … a … **gasp** … DONATION PAGE where people can, ya know, give you campaign donations?
Now go fuck yourself with a rusty-yet-reliable chainsaw.
Twice.
He's like a male version of Sarah Palin.
I thought Ann Coulter was the male version of Sarah Palin?
Penis Libel!
Spawn of…
Snow (Country) White (Girl) has a lot of dwarves. Joe the Plumber is Sleepy. Joe Miller is Shooty. Or is Allen West Shooty? They're both Shooty.
Herman Cain is Dicky. Darrel Issa is Grand Theft Auto-y.
Allen West is Mouthy. Grandpa Cornpants is Dopey. Joe Walsh is Brokey.
Shooty 1 and Shooty 2.
No, Old Sarah has a bit more motivation than he has and she's a lot more conniving.
Amazingly, Palin is more accomplished than Joe.
Any one of my 3 dogs is more accomplished than Sammy-Jo. At least they know better than to go out in public and make total assholes out of themselves. Well, except that whole pooping outside thing, we hope.
I don't know your dogs, but I'm guessing they're more discerning than the average wing-nut, because there's some shit even *they* won't eat.
you sure?
and another reason jon mccain will never ever ever work off his karma.
So isn't there some new "take 'em out" law about the White House grounds?
Missed a shot there…
yeah, "stand your ground" would have worked here.
Wrong side of the Potomac.
It's inspiring to know that in America there is still always a chance for ordinary people to rise and become shameless hucksters and con men.
If he has any literature on his hair tonic, I would love to read it.
His ideas are interesting to me, and I would like to subscribe to his newsletter.
Such a classic line.
Mr. Plumber has taken to heart the sage advice that no one ever underestimated the stupidity of the American people.
Sorry I missed you, Joe. I was in Afghanistan, doing something important.
Kind of like when you went to Israel, only, you know, important.
-B.H.O.
Sam the non-plumber goes to DC and gets ignored. A lesson for Ohio voters.
BTW: this fuckstick gets trucked in November.
I called the phone number on Joe's website because some moron houseguest stuffed a beer bottle with used tampons and tried to flush it down the toilet.
In one of those "circle of life" things, it was actually Joe who did that.
I won't believe in a loving god until I see a front-page photo of this asshole out cold in front of the White House with a fucking secret service tranq dart in his meaningless neck.
How about a German shepherd or two?
You know, this asshole would be the kind of person that would have James O'Keefe filming a video of him trying to climb the fence at the White House and getting the shit tasered out of him, so it could be posted on WND as further proof that Obama hates Americans and Xtians.
So there is a use for O'Keefe?
Huh.
Me? Why, I'd be happy just to see a mugshot.
Jesus, his 15 minutes were over 4 years ago. And someone should ask Sam why the fuck Democratic presidents can't golf or campaign for re-election. I'm so fucking sick of this guano.
He even found critics within PJs Media soon after announcing they were sending him overseas as a 'war correspondent' [c. 2009]:
Joe 'the Dumber' 's limited shelf life wasn't lost even on those with reason to cash in on his notoriety. His best known stunt as of now, is wearing-out his welcome before he's even been admitted for entry.
I'm thinkin that the expiration date stamped on his not-a-plumber's butt preceded his delivery.
Just sayin.
Looks like you've been eating well since the last time you and Barack talked.
Ahahahahahahahahaha
Holy hemorrhoids Batman, Joe has been endorsed by
AdamAllen West.And somehow, that's a plus for the rabid "base".
He doesn't have a prayer, he's running in the district that was created by squeezing Kucinich's and Kaptur's together (OH-09) via gerrymandering.
~
I can't wait to see Marcy "debate" this wad.
Uh Joe… was that the day he was in Afghanistan, trying to fix what you murderous fucking Repugnants started?
He needs to team up with pimply O'Keefe.
You mean pimpy O'Keefe.
I could really do without the ads with sound when I am looking at my wonkette at work.
Just mute the sound
STAND YOUR GROUND, MR. PRESIDENT!
"i'm Joe, and I approved this message."
You loitered around, didn't get in (forgot to reserve a spot, didn't you?), and then went home. The only "message" here is that you're not very good at much of anything.
(The International Brotherhood of Plumbers and Pipefitters should sue this meathead for libel.)
Hey, lay off. He was effectively demonstrating his influence in our nation's capital. What else is a campaign ad supposed to do?
Plumber's Crack Libel!!!!
Maybe he should try the Pentagon…..Video or STFU!…
Who?
"What Could Obama Possibly Be Doing That Is More Important Than Joe The Plumber?"
Um… anything.
Oh for fuck's sake.
How much money has "Joe" made off of this starting from the moment he got to ask then-candidate Obama a question? Has he paid any taxes on it?
Apparently not enough to buy a tie.
Just watched the video and realized it's a campaign ad. Maybe it's not such a great idea to get filmed acting like a slightly menacing ditz when you're running for office.
The "slightly menacing ditz" market segment is a growth industry these days.
It is when you're pandering to the Tea Bagger demographic. Maybe in his next one, he can include our good friend Dale Peterson and his trusty rifle.
This is sorta like "Billy Jack Goes to Washington", except with more septic tank clogs.
He even fails at attention whoring.
I see religious believers making this mistaken assumption all the time. "The all powerful creator of the Universe loves me and listens to me when ever I want, so EVERY body should care about me too!! "
What is it about this stupid redneck from Ohio? He isn't a plumber and his name isn't even Joe. The jerk couldn't pass the licensing exam in his home state. Like the leader of the free world is going to give this bonehead his time? I'm nobody and if I saw him on the street, I would tell him to go f**k himself.
Joe the Passive-Agressive
If I saw this ass clown at my door I wouldn't let him in either!
Jehovah's Witnesses pretend they're not home when Joe comes knocking.
"Joe" the "Plumber" is the "greatest" "statesman" to "organically emerge" upon the stage of our American "democracy."
Do you think he realizes that he'd still be an unemployed complete nobody without Barack Obama? He's an unemployed obscure joke for political wonks to mock now but at least there's a grift there and he owes them griftin' munneez to Nobama.
The President is NOT ALLOWED to golf!
"Now watch this drive"
"This black president is now allowed to golf!"
/fixed
"Don't you know who I am?"
"I stopped by your house the other day …."
Obama not home, eh? One of the "other days" he may mean is the day the President of the United States was in Afghanistan. Playing golf or fund raising with the troops is what Wurzelbacher suspects. Typical Un-American behavior. Wurzelbacher undermining the Command-in-Chief while we're at war, I mean.
Joe who?
Fuck you, Joe the Plumber. Why don't you set yourself on fire in front of the Washington Monument–that will get you the publicity you so obviously crave.
That would take all the fun out of pissing on him.
The fact that he was wearing chartreuse is, in and of itself, enough of a reason to tell him to get lost.
Rebecca, please do not give this moron any more attention. The end.
Man, I hope this guy never goes away. His arrogance, dishonestly and stupidity make him the ultimate GOP poster boy. They should mint him a commemorative coin or something.
Joe the Plunger strikes again.
For someone of Plumber Gump's "intellect", that counts as complicated.
“I stopped by your house the other day because I wanted to talk with you about what’s happened since we last met.”
It's not Wal-Mart, asshat; they don't just let any schmuck with nothing to do wander in from off the street.
Nice of the Koch's to buy you a shirt with a collar. The sport's coat is a nice touch, too. Too bad clothes really don't make the man.
Sorry "Joe", Pink did a much better job with her 'Dear Mr. President'. Of course, she was singing about your asshat hero W, so you wouldn't understand.
Dear Creepy Bald Fuck,
Quit stalking the POTUS or say hello to SEAL 6.
-Love
Secret Service
If I'm not mistaken there, Joe, it's very simple to know when the president is home. If the flag atop the White House is not flying, he's out of town. If the flag is flying, the prez is at least in town, so if you hang around long enough, he'll be back.
Oh wait, you didn't really care and this is just a cheap stunt for a campaign ad to sucker the rubes? In that case, next time try scaling the WH fence. Shows how determined you are, it'll go over great with the voters.
And don't forget your concealed carry permit. The Secret Service guys will ask for it. Or maybe they'll just find it in your pocket when it's over.
Barack Obama is a horrible person for not taking time from being leader of the world's largest economy to listen to the ignorant blatherings of random schmucks. Shame on you, Mr. President. Shame!
Free beer at Joe the Plumber's house, RIGHT THIS MINUTE!
If you really want to let Joe the plumber know about this, the best way to do it is to loiter around outside his house for a while and videotape yourself muttering about it.
Thanks Joe, but we have enough arrogant conservative half-thinking douchebags in Congress at the moment. We'll call you if anything opens up.
Psst, Joe? The high spiky iron fence, the huge concrete gate house and the gunned-up uniformed Secret Service guards and the black-clad snipers on the roof of the White House and the Marines standing guard at the front door should have been pretty good hints that creeps like you don't get inside without an invitation.
Oh, and Joe? Don't get your head stuck inside the mailbox looking for an invitation.
He's not a real congressional candidate, either.
*I tried early and late, but you weren’t home*
Was he looking at the White or the Blah House?
I am not a moronic fucking asshole like Joe- I love the Prez, his family and MY dog,Bo- and I can't get into the White House either. So it is equal opportunity denial.
Oh Joe, you silly dolt! The President of the United States of America doesn't read your blog!
Think about that, Joe. Why might that be?
He's long since forgotten the actual conversation, and only has the GOP talking points version to go by.
Maybe President Obama did not want to be a distraction since you were taking so long on getting that plumber's license, let alone buying that business "Joe".
Maybe this was all part of "Joe"'s clever plan of hanging out at the White House, then whining about how President Obama was hanging out with a domestic abuser that does not pay their taxes and threatens government officials.
Dear Secret Service;
Sorry for snickering at you over that Hooker thing. You obviously do know how to do your job.
America
also, i fucking hate chartreuse.
Isn't that adorable? He actually thinks that he is a plumber and important and such as bless his heart.
How did he escape going through the criminal justice system? Why isn't this man in jail, for, well…anything, yet?
SInce he was in DC he should have gone to the Crew Club (for the unknowing…its a bahthouse…i was about to say gay bathhouse, but redundant no?) that place is always open!
Say Joey, whats your Platform man?
3 o'clock and no one's home? Obama's probably getting the girls from school. You could have checked back later… just wait until after snack time.
Doesn't Joe know that he needs to contact his Congress critter to get a pass to get in to see Obama? Or is that why he wants to be in Congress? So he can get all the passes himself?
They're all in ethics training at the moment.
They've been told not to interact with whores.
Huggles!
Do you do huggles while wearing a Snuggie?
And we have a winner!
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