Dunno if yall done heard it, Levi Johnston forgot to wrap his pecker ‘gain and done made another baby! But which randomly paired nouns will he and his sweetheart, Sunny Oglesby — of whom he has not yet made an honest woman — pluck from a spittoon and apply directly to the forehead of their precious bundle, once it falls out? A) Spittoon Geranium. B) Rake Punching Bag. C) Marlboro Coffee. D) Brawndo Electrolyte. Just kidding it is none of those, those are just things in our direct line of sight while we type nonsense on our pleasant porch right now! But that seems also to be the Johnston-Oglesbys naming practices as well, probably picked up from Todd because of how he is part Injun. Yes yes yes, you already heard the winner, thanks to the crack team at the Huffington Post, and that is Breeze Beretta.
We have zero problem with the name Breeze (but then we were the only person in the universe who thought “Apple” was an honestly lovely choice for that Goop kid). As for Beretta, we are going to choose to believe that they did not decide to misspell the name of a deadly weapon, but instead decided to misspell the name of the most famous character played by a deadly man! (Innocent, et cetera, the law tells us, so, sure.) Mazel tov, you crazy kids. L’Chaim! [HuffPo]